"Lost and Found: Distant Voices"
Title: Distant Voices
’Verse: Lost and Found
Author: LadyMacbeth
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG13 (for some cussin’)
Word Count: 2007
Disclaimer: “Supernatural” and all its characters belong to the genius that is Eric Kripke. I make no profit.
Summary: Missouri reveals a secret to the boys that send them on a journey to Santa Cruz where they find a brother they never knew and an even darker revelation that none of them saw coming.
Note: A continuation of the story started in Santa Cruz and continued in The Road to Missouri, Revelations, Look Back, Leap Forward, Second Sight, Fury and Fitchburg and Conjoined. I highly recommend reading those first.
*****
When Priestly wakes up, he’s alone.
He feels a terrible empty space in his chest, and he wonders if the last few months have been a dream.
*****
Sam walks through the door of the motel room to find Priestly curled up in bed, with his head resting on his knees.
His older brother doesn’t notice him right away, so Sam just watches silently.
Priestly’s shoulders jerk in tiny movements, and his breathing seems to echo in the tiny room. He seems oblivious to Sam.
It isn’t until the coffee he’s holding starts to burn his hands that Sam clears his throat.
Priestly jumps as if shocked, and looks wildly around the room, confused and red eyed. When his gaze settles on Sam, his brow relaxes and his shoulders slump, relieved.
“Are you alright?” Sam asks tentatively. He sets the coffee on the table by the door and moves toward his brother slowly.
Priestly seems to consider the question, watching Sam as he approaches, shifting his legs when Sam sits down at the end of the bed.
“I thought maybe it was all a dream,” he finally breathes, offering no other explanation.
Sam doesn’t need any. He just nods and wonders whether or not it’s a good idea to voice the troubles that have swirling in his head since late last night.
But as he thinks back to Dean’s early departure this morning and the mood in which he left, Sam summons his courage and opens his mouth.
“I know what happened last night.”
*****
Priestly feels his heart drop into his stomach.
A thousand things fly through his head and each is gone in a millisecond.
Priestly opens his mouth and closes it without making a sound. It occurs to him, somewhere in the back of his head that Sam might hit; might kill him, even, for perverting the family.
He’s more scared now than when he faced his first demon.
“Sam,” he breathes, halfway between a plead and a question. His knows his eyes are wide and horror filled, and he hopes that his younger brother will take mercy on him and either speak, or make his death swift and clean.
He’s not sure which of the two he fears more.
But coherent thought falls through the floor when Sam clears his throat again.
His eyes, which had been studying his hands since he had spoken the words that had set Priestly’s insides on fire, move now, dragging slowly over the bedspread and up Priestly’s body until they meet his.
Priestly feels the sudden, insane urge to cry when Sam looks at him.
Sam’s eyes are tender, and sad, but there’s a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“You guys probably woke up the whole town.”
Priestly feels his heart stop and his head start buzzing. “Bw-what? What are you…? We didn’t…” He can’t finish his sentence because, honestly, he has no idea what the hell Sam is talking about anymore.
Sam must sense his confusion, because his eyes get softer and his mouth turns up a little more. “When you guys… well, when it happened, you guys sent out a psychic pulse like nothing I’ve felt before. It was like a tidal wave. It woke me up.”
Priestly is still pretty fucking confused and instead of trying and failing to speak coherently again, he just cocks an eyebrow and hope Sam gets the message.
He does.
“When you… connected, I guess it awoke more of that latent psychic energy Missouri told us about. like, you’re supposed to be more powerful when you’re near each other, and even more powerful when you touch, so I guess being together taps deep into your powers.”
Priestly sits silent, watching Sam as he speaks, waiting for the revulsion he’s sure is still coming.
When Sam opens his mouth again, Priestly is sure he mishears.
“We’ve never exactly been normal,” Sam starts after a moment, clearly not sure how to breach the topic of incest. “I’m not going to pretend to understand exactly what’s going on between you and Dean,” Priestly is sure he hears Sam trip over his brother’s name, “but the energy I felt last night… it was like… pure completeness. I think… I think this is supposed to happen. It’s like the two of you are each a half of one person in some respects; like you’re only whole when you’re together. I never expected this… and it’s definitely going to take some getting used to… but…” Sam shrugs his shoulders, letting his smile flourish and his eyes warm. “We’re all going to hell anyway, right?”
*****
The coffee is still hot when it slides down his throat, warming Priestly from the inside out.
He and Sam have been sitting, basking in a surprisingly comfortable silence, for about fifteen minutes when Priestly thinks it might be safe to open his mouth again.
“Where’s Dean?” he asks, almost a whisper, not looking Sam in the eye.
Sam glances at him through his bangs as he takes a long swig of latte.
Priestly holds his breath as Sam slowly lowers the cup to the table and clears his throat.
“I don’t know,” he says finally, and for about the millionth time in a span of hours, Priestly feels his insides go cold. “He just… left this morning,” Sam continues, rolling the coffee cup in his hands. “He didn’t say where he was going.”
“Fuck,” Priestly breathes. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t gone all pervy… he’s probably so grossed out he…”
But Sam shakes his head, interrupting Priestly’s train of thought. “No,” he says. “I don’t think he was mad or… disgusted. I think… I think he’s just confused.” Sam looks up to meet Priestly’s wide eyes. “I mean, hell… we’ve been through a lot in the last couple months, and I think last night just sort of overdid it, you know? I think Dean just needs some time to step back from everything and work it all out. It’s how he deals. He kind of lets everything pile on until he realizes he can’t take anymore and he has to stop and sort through everything, on his own.”
Priestly continues to watch Sam even after he’s stopped talking and turned back to his coffee.
“I’m sorry,” he says, before he can stop himself.
Sam looks back at him and frowns. “For what?”
“For coming between you two.”
Sam’s eyes go big and dark and Priestly swears he can feel the air start to hum.
“You and Dean… you were everything you ever needed, and I feel like I’ve ruined it… Like I broke something really special.”
Sam’s quiet, eyes back to his coffee, turning it in his hands again.
“I’m just…” Priestly tries. “I’m sorry.”
Sam’s hands tighten on his coffee cup and his eyes go liquid and sad, but he says nothing.
*****
The clouds hand heavy and grey over the dirt road Priestly walks.
He’s in a trance, of sorts, ignoring everything around him and concentrating on following his brother’s psychic trail. Like breadcrumbs. Like M&Ms.
He’s been walking for almost an hour when he spots the little cemetery and its big, black car.
*****
Priestly says nothing as he approaches his brother, knowing that Dean can sense him.
Dean is sitting in the middle of the graveyard with his eyes closed and his palms flat on the ground at his sides. His brow is creased slightly, and his head is cocked as if he’s listening to something only he can here.
Priestly sits by Dean quietly, making sure not to get too close. He watches his brother’s face as it seems to flicker between confusion and strain.
He wants so much to reach out a hand to his brother, but doesn’t, fearing what it would bring. If only he could…
“I can here them all,” Dean says suddenly, causing Priestly to question whether or not the words were spoken out loud or only in his head.
“I can here their wishes and regrets… hear everything they never got to say or do… hear how and why they died. There’s…” Dean falters, his voice thick and his eyes still closed. “There’s so much suffering here. Over there,” Dean points to his right, keeping his eyes closed, “is a fifteen year old girl who killed herself because she was raped, and no one believed her. And over there is a little boy, twelve, who let himself be beaten to death so his drunk of a father wouldn’t hurt his little sister. They’re… fuck… they’re crying, and I… I can hear everything.”
Dean opens his eyes suddenly, catching Priestly off guard. The identical orbs meet and Priestly feels something inside him ache when he sees the tears in Dean’s eyes.
“They want me to save them, but… but I can’t. They’re begging me and I… I’m trying to tell them… there’s nothing I can do.
Dean shudders when the tears start to fall, curling his arms back around himself as if he is cold.
Priestly watches him, quietly, with no idea of what to do.
He wishes he could understand what his brother is going through, but he can’t. While he was gifted with telekinesis, his brother’s power is more otherworldly; darker and more powerful.
“Dean…” Priestly breathes, and despite his trepidation, he crawls towards his brother and wraps him in a tentative hug.
His twin grips him fiercely at once, grasping Priestly’s arms as if he is an anchor to the world of the living.
Priestly wonders if maybe he is.
After a few minutes, Dean calms down, relaxing his grip on Priestly’s arms and wiping a palm across his wet eyes.
“Sorry,” he whispers, avoiding Priestly’s eyes as he lets his arms drop altogether.
Priestly feels the air around them drop in temperature almost immediately. He had forgotten, for a little while, why he had come; why Dean had left.
He doesn’t know how to proceed.
The two sit in silence, divided once more, for a minutes before Dean mercifully breaks the silence.
“I didn’t mean to just leave,” he starts, not looking at Priestly right away. “I just… everything that happened… when I woke up next to you… it all came rushing back… what we did.”
“I’m not sorry,” Priestly says suddenly, without knowing where the words came from. “I know it should have felt wrong, but… it didn’t. It felt right, Dean. And I am sorry if you don’t feel the same, but… when I… when I kissed you…”
“Ya,” Dean says, looking into Priestly’s eyes. “I know.”
*****
Dean isn’t sure what propels him foreword, but it doesn’t matter as soon as his lips meet his brother’s.
He can feel Priestly’s initial surprise when he knocks him down onto the graveyard ground, but it quickly melts into a feeling of relief. Under the surface, however, Dean can also feel a repressed sense of need.
Dean has never been one to deny the needs of others.
I think we need to get back to the motel, he tells his brother, fighting the urge to lay his brother down right there. I don’t think the spirits here would appreciate us fornicating over their bodies.
He pulls his mouth back from Priestly’s as his twin barks a laugh.
Dean stands and extends a hand to his brother, relishing, as always, in the feel of their skin together, and pulls him to his feet.
“Let’s go,” Priestly whispers, keeping Dean’s hand in his and leading him towards the car and away from Dean’s tormentors.
*****
Sam’s reading in his bed when he gets a familiar pain behind his eyes.
Before he can prepare himself, a well of images flood into his brain, featuring a monster more terrifying than anything Sam has ever encountered.
As he watches it carve its way out of hell, it turns, and seems to look right at him
It snarls something in a language Sam doesn’t know and lunges right at him.
Sam screams.
To be continued…
’Verse: Lost and Found
Author: LadyMacbeth
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG13 (for some cussin’)
Word Count: 2007
Disclaimer: “Supernatural” and all its characters belong to the genius that is Eric Kripke. I make no profit.
Summary: Missouri reveals a secret to the boys that send them on a journey to Santa Cruz where they find a brother they never knew and an even darker revelation that none of them saw coming.
Note: A continuation of the story started in Santa Cruz and continued in The Road to Missouri, Revelations, Look Back, Leap Forward, Second Sight, Fury and Fitchburg and Conjoined. I highly recommend reading those first.
*****
When Priestly wakes up, he’s alone.
He feels a terrible empty space in his chest, and he wonders if the last few months have been a dream.
*****
Sam walks through the door of the motel room to find Priestly curled up in bed, with his head resting on his knees.
His older brother doesn’t notice him right away, so Sam just watches silently.
Priestly’s shoulders jerk in tiny movements, and his breathing seems to echo in the tiny room. He seems oblivious to Sam.
It isn’t until the coffee he’s holding starts to burn his hands that Sam clears his throat.
Priestly jumps as if shocked, and looks wildly around the room, confused and red eyed. When his gaze settles on Sam, his brow relaxes and his shoulders slump, relieved.
“Are you alright?” Sam asks tentatively. He sets the coffee on the table by the door and moves toward his brother slowly.
Priestly seems to consider the question, watching Sam as he approaches, shifting his legs when Sam sits down at the end of the bed.
“I thought maybe it was all a dream,” he finally breathes, offering no other explanation.
Sam doesn’t need any. He just nods and wonders whether or not it’s a good idea to voice the troubles that have swirling in his head since late last night.
But as he thinks back to Dean’s early departure this morning and the mood in which he left, Sam summons his courage and opens his mouth.
“I know what happened last night.”
*****
Priestly feels his heart drop into his stomach.
A thousand things fly through his head and each is gone in a millisecond.
Priestly opens his mouth and closes it without making a sound. It occurs to him, somewhere in the back of his head that Sam might hit; might kill him, even, for perverting the family.
He’s more scared now than when he faced his first demon.
“Sam,” he breathes, halfway between a plead and a question. His knows his eyes are wide and horror filled, and he hopes that his younger brother will take mercy on him and either speak, or make his death swift and clean.
He’s not sure which of the two he fears more.
But coherent thought falls through the floor when Sam clears his throat again.
His eyes, which had been studying his hands since he had spoken the words that had set Priestly’s insides on fire, move now, dragging slowly over the bedspread and up Priestly’s body until they meet his.
Priestly feels the sudden, insane urge to cry when Sam looks at him.
Sam’s eyes are tender, and sad, but there’s a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“You guys probably woke up the whole town.”
Priestly feels his heart stop and his head start buzzing. “Bw-what? What are you…? We didn’t…” He can’t finish his sentence because, honestly, he has no idea what the hell Sam is talking about anymore.
Sam must sense his confusion, because his eyes get softer and his mouth turns up a little more. “When you guys… well, when it happened, you guys sent out a psychic pulse like nothing I’ve felt before. It was like a tidal wave. It woke me up.”
Priestly is still pretty fucking confused and instead of trying and failing to speak coherently again, he just cocks an eyebrow and hope Sam gets the message.
He does.
“When you… connected, I guess it awoke more of that latent psychic energy Missouri told us about. like, you’re supposed to be more powerful when you’re near each other, and even more powerful when you touch, so I guess being together taps deep into your powers.”
Priestly sits silent, watching Sam as he speaks, waiting for the revulsion he’s sure is still coming.
When Sam opens his mouth again, Priestly is sure he mishears.
“We’ve never exactly been normal,” Sam starts after a moment, clearly not sure how to breach the topic of incest. “I’m not going to pretend to understand exactly what’s going on between you and Dean,” Priestly is sure he hears Sam trip over his brother’s name, “but the energy I felt last night… it was like… pure completeness. I think… I think this is supposed to happen. It’s like the two of you are each a half of one person in some respects; like you’re only whole when you’re together. I never expected this… and it’s definitely going to take some getting used to… but…” Sam shrugs his shoulders, letting his smile flourish and his eyes warm. “We’re all going to hell anyway, right?”
*****
The coffee is still hot when it slides down his throat, warming Priestly from the inside out.
He and Sam have been sitting, basking in a surprisingly comfortable silence, for about fifteen minutes when Priestly thinks it might be safe to open his mouth again.
“Where’s Dean?” he asks, almost a whisper, not looking Sam in the eye.
Sam glances at him through his bangs as he takes a long swig of latte.
Priestly holds his breath as Sam slowly lowers the cup to the table and clears his throat.
“I don’t know,” he says finally, and for about the millionth time in a span of hours, Priestly feels his insides go cold. “He just… left this morning,” Sam continues, rolling the coffee cup in his hands. “He didn’t say where he was going.”
“Fuck,” Priestly breathes. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t gone all pervy… he’s probably so grossed out he…”
But Sam shakes his head, interrupting Priestly’s train of thought. “No,” he says. “I don’t think he was mad or… disgusted. I think… I think he’s just confused.” Sam looks up to meet Priestly’s wide eyes. “I mean, hell… we’ve been through a lot in the last couple months, and I think last night just sort of overdid it, you know? I think Dean just needs some time to step back from everything and work it all out. It’s how he deals. He kind of lets everything pile on until he realizes he can’t take anymore and he has to stop and sort through everything, on his own.”
Priestly continues to watch Sam even after he’s stopped talking and turned back to his coffee.
“I’m sorry,” he says, before he can stop himself.
Sam looks back at him and frowns. “For what?”
“For coming between you two.”
Sam’s eyes go big and dark and Priestly swears he can feel the air start to hum.
“You and Dean… you were everything you ever needed, and I feel like I’ve ruined it… Like I broke something really special.”
Sam’s quiet, eyes back to his coffee, turning it in his hands again.
“I’m just…” Priestly tries. “I’m sorry.”
Sam’s hands tighten on his coffee cup and his eyes go liquid and sad, but he says nothing.
*****
The clouds hand heavy and grey over the dirt road Priestly walks.
He’s in a trance, of sorts, ignoring everything around him and concentrating on following his brother’s psychic trail. Like breadcrumbs. Like M&Ms.
He’s been walking for almost an hour when he spots the little cemetery and its big, black car.
*****
Priestly says nothing as he approaches his brother, knowing that Dean can sense him.
Dean is sitting in the middle of the graveyard with his eyes closed and his palms flat on the ground at his sides. His brow is creased slightly, and his head is cocked as if he’s listening to something only he can here.
Priestly sits by Dean quietly, making sure not to get too close. He watches his brother’s face as it seems to flicker between confusion and strain.
He wants so much to reach out a hand to his brother, but doesn’t, fearing what it would bring. If only he could…
“I can here them all,” Dean says suddenly, causing Priestly to question whether or not the words were spoken out loud or only in his head.
“I can here their wishes and regrets… hear everything they never got to say or do… hear how and why they died. There’s…” Dean falters, his voice thick and his eyes still closed. “There’s so much suffering here. Over there,” Dean points to his right, keeping his eyes closed, “is a fifteen year old girl who killed herself because she was raped, and no one believed her. And over there is a little boy, twelve, who let himself be beaten to death so his drunk of a father wouldn’t hurt his little sister. They’re… fuck… they’re crying, and I… I can hear everything.”
Dean opens his eyes suddenly, catching Priestly off guard. The identical orbs meet and Priestly feels something inside him ache when he sees the tears in Dean’s eyes.
“They want me to save them, but… but I can’t. They’re begging me and I… I’m trying to tell them… there’s nothing I can do.
Dean shudders when the tears start to fall, curling his arms back around himself as if he is cold.
Priestly watches him, quietly, with no idea of what to do.
He wishes he could understand what his brother is going through, but he can’t. While he was gifted with telekinesis, his brother’s power is more otherworldly; darker and more powerful.
“Dean…” Priestly breathes, and despite his trepidation, he crawls towards his brother and wraps him in a tentative hug.
His twin grips him fiercely at once, grasping Priestly’s arms as if he is an anchor to the world of the living.
Priestly wonders if maybe he is.
After a few minutes, Dean calms down, relaxing his grip on Priestly’s arms and wiping a palm across his wet eyes.
“Sorry,” he whispers, avoiding Priestly’s eyes as he lets his arms drop altogether.
Priestly feels the air around them drop in temperature almost immediately. He had forgotten, for a little while, why he had come; why Dean had left.
He doesn’t know how to proceed.
The two sit in silence, divided once more, for a minutes before Dean mercifully breaks the silence.
“I didn’t mean to just leave,” he starts, not looking at Priestly right away. “I just… everything that happened… when I woke up next to you… it all came rushing back… what we did.”
“I’m not sorry,” Priestly says suddenly, without knowing where the words came from. “I know it should have felt wrong, but… it didn’t. It felt right, Dean. And I am sorry if you don’t feel the same, but… when I… when I kissed you…”
“Ya,” Dean says, looking into Priestly’s eyes. “I know.”
*****
Dean isn’t sure what propels him foreword, but it doesn’t matter as soon as his lips meet his brother’s.
He can feel Priestly’s initial surprise when he knocks him down onto the graveyard ground, but it quickly melts into a feeling of relief. Under the surface, however, Dean can also feel a repressed sense of need.
Dean has never been one to deny the needs of others.
I think we need to get back to the motel, he tells his brother, fighting the urge to lay his brother down right there. I don’t think the spirits here would appreciate us fornicating over their bodies.
He pulls his mouth back from Priestly’s as his twin barks a laugh.
Dean stands and extends a hand to his brother, relishing, as always, in the feel of their skin together, and pulls him to his feet.
“Let’s go,” Priestly whispers, keeping Dean’s hand in his and leading him towards the car and away from Dean’s tormentors.
*****
Sam’s reading in his bed when he gets a familiar pain behind his eyes.
Before he can prepare himself, a well of images flood into his brain, featuring a monster more terrifying than anything Sam has ever encountered.
As he watches it carve its way out of hell, it turns, and seems to look right at him
It snarls something in a language Sam doesn’t know and lunges right at him.
Sam screams.
To be continued…