My Immortal
My Immortal
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: G
Summary: Just a dark little ficlet. A warning why these two should never be seperated.
Author's Note: This was originally posted at Smallville Slash Archive. Posted 9th December 2004.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is what happens when you listen to Evanescence while on your way to work on the train. It's not my usual fare, but I guess everyone has a little darkness in them...
My Immortal
Clark walked into the penthouse. It was empty. Its silence was absolute, there wasn't even the stir of wind through a curtain. He stepped into the living room, memories echoing dreamlike in his mind, and saw the envelope on the low table. The writing on the front was as familiar to Clark as his own, and it had his name. Clark Kent. So he picked it up and slit it open. Pulling out a single lavender sheet, Clark began to read...
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Clark shuddered, the emotions in him more than he had felt in a very long time. That was why he had left those ten long years ago. It had always been too much. You could have too much of a good thing. And that was what living here had been like, full of soaring highs and plummeting lows.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
It was true, of course. When he had fought so hard against his destiny, his lover had been there to wipe the tears from his eyes and hold him in an accepting embrace. When he had given in to fate, but the nightmares had awoken him screaming, he'd held him tight and promised that it was all over now, he had done his best, and it had been more than enough. He had always been the one firm, constant thing in Clark's life, and he had held on so very tight. And then Clark had left, but had never relinquished his hold.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
The tears began to fall on the paper in his hands. God, he had been so selfish. How could he have never even considered how his leaving would affect his lover? So much of his life had been wrapped up around Clark's that his leaving must have left an emptiness that couldn't be filled by any amount of debutantes or drugs. Who had held him when his dreams woke him in the middle of the night? Who had consoled and comforted him? No wonder he had recently been drifting further and further over that line from right into wrong.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Clark sank to the floor, letting the farewell float away, and sobbing. Oh, how he had hurt him. His strength, his support, his lover. Clark had walked out of that door and destroyed the one person in this wretched world that he should have protected, the one person who deserved so much more than he had ever been given. The misery in him would never again be assuaged, for the only man capable of doing so was gone. Slowly, like an old man, Clark pulled himself to his feet and dragged himself over to the window. Looking down, he saw flashing lights as police and ambulances gathered. The fall from the roof had done more damage than even his lover's abilities could heal. Which had, of course, been the point.
After all he had done, after all the lives he had saved, he had failed. And he didn't care anymore. Moving into the office, Clark used his x-ray vision one last time to open the safe. He pulled out the faintly glowing green rock inside and hugged it close. The pain was nothing compared to the torment he had already suffered, and as the last of his strength leached away, he whispered, "I'm so sorry. So sorry, Lex."
THE END
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: G
Summary: Just a dark little ficlet. A warning why these two should never be seperated.
Author's Note: This was originally posted at Smallville Slash Archive. Posted 9th December 2004.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is what happens when you listen to Evanescence while on your way to work on the train. It's not my usual fare, but I guess everyone has a little darkness in them...
My Immortal
Clark walked into the penthouse. It was empty. Its silence was absolute, there wasn't even the stir of wind through a curtain. He stepped into the living room, memories echoing dreamlike in his mind, and saw the envelope on the low table. The writing on the front was as familiar to Clark as his own, and it had his name. Clark Kent. So he picked it up and slit it open. Pulling out a single lavender sheet, Clark began to read...
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Clark shuddered, the emotions in him more than he had felt in a very long time. That was why he had left those ten long years ago. It had always been too much. You could have too much of a good thing. And that was what living here had been like, full of soaring highs and plummeting lows.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
It was true, of course. When he had fought so hard against his destiny, his lover had been there to wipe the tears from his eyes and hold him in an accepting embrace. When he had given in to fate, but the nightmares had awoken him screaming, he'd held him tight and promised that it was all over now, he had done his best, and it had been more than enough. He had always been the one firm, constant thing in Clark's life, and he had held on so very tight. And then Clark had left, but had never relinquished his hold.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
The tears began to fall on the paper in his hands. God, he had been so selfish. How could he have never even considered how his leaving would affect his lover? So much of his life had been wrapped up around Clark's that his leaving must have left an emptiness that couldn't be filled by any amount of debutantes or drugs. Who had held him when his dreams woke him in the middle of the night? Who had consoled and comforted him? No wonder he had recently been drifting further and further over that line from right into wrong.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Clark sank to the floor, letting the farewell float away, and sobbing. Oh, how he had hurt him. His strength, his support, his lover. Clark had walked out of that door and destroyed the one person in this wretched world that he should have protected, the one person who deserved so much more than he had ever been given. The misery in him would never again be assuaged, for the only man capable of doing so was gone. Slowly, like an old man, Clark pulled himself to his feet and dragged himself over to the window. Looking down, he saw flashing lights as police and ambulances gathered. The fall from the roof had done more damage than even his lover's abilities could heal. Which had, of course, been the point.
After all he had done, after all the lives he had saved, he had failed. And he didn't care anymore. Moving into the office, Clark used his x-ray vision one last time to open the safe. He pulled out the faintly glowing green rock inside and hugged it close. The pain was nothing compared to the torment he had already suffered, and as the last of his strength leached away, he whispered, "I'm so sorry. So sorry, Lex."
THE END