Despair

[lady_krystal_79]

Despair
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Clark's birthday wish leads Lex to some old memories, a second chance, and love.
Author's Note: This was the first fan fiction I ever wrote. It was originally posted at Smallville Slash Archive. Posted 31st July 2003.

PART I: Clark

I'm not really sure why I chose this place. When Lex said I could pick any club we drove past I was excited, and determined not to just choose the first place, but one that appealed to me. There was nothing, really, about this place that should have drawn me, but as soon as I saw the single, rather dim sign, I was pointing, and yelling, "That one, Lex!"

As soon as I saw the look on his face, I wished I 'd chosen any other place. I don't think this place held fond memories for Lex. The sign I had seen probably should have been the first indication, but I never was much one for the obvious. There was no name, just a man's head, in relief, thrown back, mouth open, eyes closed. It said to me "Freedom!" When we got closer, though, I realised it was not ecstatic freedom on that face, but pain and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Despair." Lex said, his voice low and smooth. It sent a shiver through me. Yes, that was what that face showed. Despair.

"What?" I frowned at him. Was he reading my mind now?

"Despair. " He repeated. "The club, it's called 'Despair'."

"Oh." Clever Clark. Absolutely brilliant. "Well, we can go somewhere else if you want?"

"No. Actually, this place is probably one of the better choices you could have made." There was a slight suggestion of amusement in his tone. I felt rather stunned. If this was one of the better choices, what exactly was one of the worse? I didn't like anything that put that blank, 'I-am-unaffected' look on Lex's face.

He took me in. Don't ask me how he got us past the bouncers, I didn't see him do anything, let alone bribe them, or whatever it is people like Lex do to get under-aged farm boys into Metropolis clubs with names like 'Despair'. When I started to ask him how, he just turned and gave me that secretive, knowing Lexian smile. The things that smile does to me!

Inside was a pleasant surprise. I had expected it to be dark, loud and debauched. Well, it was dark, and it was certainly noisy, but there was a well-ordered feel to things. I had pictured a Bacchanalian feast to the senses - and yes, Lex and his mythology were starting to rub off on me - but instead had found an almost depressingly normal nightclub. Bodies were crushed together out on the dance floor, moving in rhythms that had more to do with tribal forebears and primitive instincts than actual dancing. The music was so loud it was distorted, and you could feel the beat through the base of your shoes right to the top of your head. Lex was swaying ever so slightly where we stood beside the bar.

"Are you okay?" He looked lost, his grey-blue eyes unfocused.

His head whipped around to look at me, eyes more than focused now, intensely alert and looking farther into me than I think I wanted him to look. He gave a small smile and replied in that low, sexy voice of his that teased me so. "Fine Clark. Can't you feel it? Can't you feel the need?"

"The need to what?" I had so many needs at that moment I couldn't even begin to focus on just one.

Lex just gave me that smile again. "Nothing, Clark" Is it wrong to love how he says my name? Every time he does, things inside of me clench, things I didn't even know were there until I met Lex. "I'm going to dance. Do you want to come with me, or absorb the atmosphere a little longer?"

Dance? With Lex? Was he crazy? Watching him walk was a sinful enough experience, let alone watching him sway those slim hips in that tight, soft black leather he wore. No. No, I was definitely not moving right now. I wasn't sure I could. "Ah, no. You go. I'll watch you." Did that sound strange? Voyeuristic?

"You do that Clark." There was that smile again, like he knew something I didn't, and that sexy drawl on my name. Then he was gone, heading into the crowd of dancers. I followed his progress, watching the bald head weaving its way through the bodies as if there was a path. Lex was taller than a fair few of the people there. I often forgot that Lex, at six foot, was tall in his own right. It was an odd thing to have it brought to my attention now.

I lost track of Lex's progress when a commotion at the door reached my ears. It wouldn't have, if I were human, but I'm glad it did. A woman walked through the door, and I felt my body stiffen in response, the same way it reacted to Lex's voice. I had never had a reaction to any woman. Not Lana, not Chloe. Well, there was that one time when I nearly burned the classroom down, but she was using pheromones and so it doesn't count. No, the only person I had ever felt this instant attraction to was Lex, and hadn't that thrown me for a loop? Lex, my best friend, the subject of my dreams, dreams that had me waking up covered in sweat, floating above the bed, and messing up my sheets. What would he do if he ever found out? I had decided this trip would be the best time to find out, and now this woman had walked in and thrown me for another loop.

She was the sexiest woman I had ever seen. She was tall, about five nine, slim and yet still voluptuously curvaceous. She wore a black vinyl cat suit that would make Michelle Pfeiffer green with envy, and high, stiletto heeled boots. Her hair was black silk, falling straight until it brushed her backside. Her eyes, though, were what were truly amazing. Tawny gold, like a black panther's, and just as predatory. My eyes followed her the way they had Lex a moment ago, and it struck me. Lex! She was a walking, female version of Lex! The same confidence, the same disregard for anything that didn't interest her. And despite this air of separateness they wore like a cloak, you knew, instinctively, that they weren't missing a thing that happened around them. Their control was absolute, over everything and everyone. God, it turns me on!

Suddenly, something draws her attention, and her eyes come up and rest on...me. It sends a shock through me, like a physical blow. Those eyes are hard, warning one and all to stay away. Then they soften, and I know it's for me. I've seen Lex's eyes do the same thing, and never allowed myself to acknowledge what it meant. But I knew. Deep down, where things don't need to be rationalised, or compartmentalised, I knew that Lex wanted me. And I knew that I wanted him back. Now, this woman wants me too, and my body is telling me I want her just as much as I want Lex.

A bald head steps in front of her, breaking our contact. Lex. Shamelessly, I concentrate on listening to what he says to her. I'm curious what happens when two people so alike meet one another. I'm wondering if he followed her gaze and is intervening on my behalf, protecting me. I find myself hoping so.

"He's mine Krystal. You won't need to save him." His voice is a low growl, and the sheer possessive savagery in it makes me shiver. His. He considers me his. This hits me first, then I realise he used her name. He knows her. Well, well.

"Lex? Is it really you?" She sounds surprised, happy, and scared, all at once. She hopes it is him, but is afraid to believe it. And afraid that it's true, too. She fears Lex, this creature so like him.

Lex gives her a smile without humour. "Yes, Krystal. It's really me. What are you doing here? I heard you disappeared from the scene not long after I did?"

"I haven't been here since the day you walked away. Tonight...something drew me. I needed..." Her voice trailed off, as though she wasn't sure what she needed. "I don't know. I needed to forget who I am, or maybe remember." Looking sharply at him, she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Clark's birthday wish." He nodded his head toward me, and her eyes swung to me, then back to him. "He wanted to see a Metropolis nightclub before he was legal. I let him pick a place, never imagining he would choose this one. As soon as I saw the sign I...I thought of you." He hesitated before saying the last, very un-Lex like. I was starting to worry. They sounded like old lovers; old lovers with issues. How would I get Lex to let me seduce him with an ex-love's quarrel fresh in his mind?

"Lex..." She breathed his name, and I didn't like the sound of it. She loved him. In that moment I knew she loved him, just as much as I did. I couldn't hate her, not for seeing past the rumours and lies and loving the man beneath, just as I did. Then her eyes grew cold and she pulled herself together. I knew whatever she said next was going to be hurtful. "Sentimentality, Lex? What would your father say? Or was it my innocence you remembered, bringing that beautiful boy in here? The naivete practically radiates from him, and you always did love destroying the virgin dreams of others, didn't you, Lex?"

Lex jerks as though she hit him. They're so alike, for it is Lex's turn to draw himself up and come back with a cruel reply. "What do you want me to say, Krystal? That I want to push him to his knees and bury myself in his throat? That I want to know how those lips made for sucking look wrapped around me? That I want to bend him over any available structure and pound into him until he screams? Until he begs me for release? Fine. Yes. I want all those things."

I was shaking. No matter how crude, how vicious, his words had sounded, they made we ache with longing. I wanted those same things, but had been afraid I was reading the signs all wrong. After all, this was Lex. Did anyone ever truly know what was going on in that head of his? I certainly never presumed to think I knew everything about him. The images that his words conjured plagued me. I could picture them vividly, could almost feel the mingled pain and pleasure of it, and it left me shaking. Krystal, I noticed, was also shaking, but for a far different reason to I.

"Why do you seek to destroy whatever good comes into your life? Has your father really convinced you that you are so worthless? I don't know why I wasted my time trying to protect you for so long." I could hear the hurt buried beneath the bitterness. What had she given him that he had valued so cheaply? Did Lex know?

"How have I wronged you, Krystal, that you attack me so? Where did this bitterness come from? Even when I got you into trouble you never reacted with anything but concern for me. Is that it? Have you remembered who it was that treated us so poorly that night? Tell me, and I'll see that retribution finds him. I'll kill him if that is what you want." What? Lex had gotten her in trouble? What kind of trouble could possibly get a man killed? And if he was there, why didn't Lex remember who had hurt her? Hurt them both?

"Oh Lex. Poor Lex, so high he couldn't remember. Yes, I remember. I never forgot. You can't kill him. You can't even hurt him. My innocence will never be avenged, Lex. Have a care with his." Her eyes flicked to me, and I wanted to comfort her. Then her gaze returned to Lex, carefully blank, emotions tied neatly away. "I loved you, Lex. You took by force everything I would have given you in love, but I forgave you. Then you left me with a poisonous kiss, and nearly took everything else I had. He loves you, Lex. Don't destroy him, as you very nearly did me."

I didn't hear what else was said after that. I had got a look at Lex's face and was making my way towards him. Whatever she was talking about, Lex understood, and it was ripping him apart. He needed me. I knew it, even if he would never admit to it. I would show him that he wasn't taking anything he shouldn't, because I was offering him whatever it was he needed.

PART II: Lex

"How have I wronged you, Krystal, that you attack me so? Where did this bitterness come from? Even when I got you into trouble you never reacted with anything but concern for me. Is that it? Have you remembered who it was that treated us so poorly that night? Tell me, and I'll see that retribution finds him. I'll kill him if that is what you want." I meant it too, in that moment. I had ever felt guilt over having got her into so much trouble.

"Oh Lex. Poor Lex, so high he couldn't remember. Yes, I remember. I never forgot. You can't kill him. You can't even hurt him. My innocence will never be avenged, Lex. Have a care with his." She looked past me, to where I knew Clark was standing, then back to me, and her eyes were empty. I had done that to her. I had taught her that look. Now, I regretted it deeply. "I loved you, Lex. You took by force everything I would have given you in love, but I forgave you. Then you left me with a poisonous kiss, and nearly took everything else I had. He loves you, Lex. Don't destroy him, as you very nearly did me."

Oh God! Was she saying what I thought she was? I don't remember that night, but I remember waking up the next morning, no longer high, aching from a night doing I don't know what. I had been disgusted with the state I had been in, and furious when I had turned around and saw Krystal in worse condition than myself. When I had asked her who had done this, she said she didn't remember. Now she was saying that she did, and that I had stolen something precious from her. I needed to know. Grabbing her by the wrist, I asked, begged, "Please, Krystal, tell me..."

She ripped her arm away, but it was too late. I had seen the marks on her wrist. Very distinctive marks that could only mean one thing. She cried out, "No! Don't touch me! Ever again!"

It was answer enough, I suppose. One more good thing I had destroyed in my own attempt at self-destruction. I wanted her to forgive me. I wanted her to hate me. I don't know what I wanted. "Krys..." I don't know what I would have said. A large, warm hand landed on my shoulder, gently squeezing, comforting. God, he didn't even know what he was comforting me for, just that I needed it, so he gave me what I needed. He always gave me what I needed. Was it any wonder I had fallen in love with my own personal angel? The second one I had been blessed with, after I had nearly destroyed the first.

That hand upon my shoulder was strong, inexorably turning me to face it's owner. I half turned, looked up, as I always had to look up with Clark, my eyes questioning what he wanted, the words to ask him on my lips. Before I could voice them, his mouth came down on mine. The kiss was soft, inexperienced, but for all that, arousing as all hell. He'd been working himself up to this all night. I had seen it in his too expressive eyes. I kissed him back, unable to help myself. I had wanted this for so long, since I had awoken on the bank of a river with the taste of him more prominent in my mouth than the river water I had swallowed.
Leaning into him, I took control of the kiss. Nipping the full bottom lip that had plagued me in dreams and daylight alike, I encouraged him to open those lips wider. He did, ever a quick learner. When my tongue swept into his mouth, he shuddered and moaned. The taste of him was swamping my sense of reason, but I had enough to pull back, knowing we could take this no further here. "Clark, not that I mind, but what was that for?"

"You're not taking anything from me. I'm giving it all to you." His eyes were dark in the dimness of the dance floor, but I could see the emotions within them. So help me if I ever hurt him. He has to be the most pure- hearted person I've ever known. I realised he had heard my conversation with Krystal, and I was about to ask him how, although I already suspected, but I never got a chance. Behind me, Krystal made a sound that had to have been torn from deep inside her. The sound of a heart ripped ruthlessly out, perhaps?

"Oh God, Lex! I can't compete with that. I wouldn't even want to!" Then she disappeared. It was a knack she had always had, and one that never ceased to amaze me. How does a woman that tall, that looks like that, manage to make herself invisible? I didn't try to follow her. I knew exactly where she was going. I had a very sexy farm boy to deal with first.

"Clark? How did you know what we were talking about?"

Clark shifted nervously. "I promise I'll tell you, Lex, but shouldn't you go after her? You know she still loves you, right?" I could see into his very soul through those eyes of his, and it humbled me. Despite his awakening feelings for me, despite finally facing that he wanted another man, and despite all those charming insecurities he struggled to hide, he was willing to send me off after someone else because she loved me. Or he thought she loved me. If I had done to her what I think I did to her, I don't think love was in the picture anymore.

"I know where she's going. Okay, we can talk in the car." I led him off of the packed dance floor, and out of the club. 'Despair', a hell of a name for a nightclub, and so damn fitting. The limo pulled up in front of us, and we climbed in. I gave the driver the address to the Walker building and then pressed the button for the privacy glass to close. We pulled out into traffic and I realised this would be slow going. "Wish I had the Ferrari."

"Why?" Only Clark could ask why a man would rather have a Ferrari than a limo. He was looking at me so earnestly that I bit back the tide of sarcastic comments my mind supplied.

"You would have noticed, I think, how I drive, yes?" He smiled and nodded. Apparently, he remembered our first meeting with a degree of fondness. "Well, Krystal taught me to drive." Stunned silence met that little statement. "She also taught me how to hotwire a car. We were too young to own a car, so we just took whatever car matched our mood. It was an adrenaline rush unlike anything you can imagine. Almost as good as sex."

"Sex?" His voice went unaccountably high on the word, and his eyes seem to glaze over, as though he was imagining the prospect. Well, I've no doubt that he was, and that he liked whatever he was thinking. Finally, he got his thoughts under reign, and I'm not sure what direction his thoughts had taken, for his next words surprised me. "Tell me about her, Lex. What was she talking about in there?"

"Her name is Lady Krystal Walker, and she's a lot like me in many ways. She's also the exact opposite to me in many ways. We met when we were both fourteen. She had just lost her mother, who had born and raised her in Australia. Her father shipped her over here without asking her what she would have preferred, and then ignored the fact that she existed. She was his only heir, but he didn't want a daughter to take over his empire. She responded to this kind of loving fatherhood by rebelling. We met on the run, you could say. She had just boosted a very hot little 'vette and was making good her escape when I came running out in front of her on the road. She took one look at me, smiled wickedly, and told me to get the hell in the car. So I did. She spent all her time after that saving me, in one way or another. I was trying to self-destruct, taking more and more lethal combinations of drugs. Every time I came down from a high, she was there, scolding me for doing what I had done. I actually don't remember very much. There's a blur of faces, male and female, that I know I slept with, but I couldn't tell you their names. I picked whoever looked dangerous, or innocent. I liked extremes."

"So you slept with her." It was a question, asked without inflection. I might have commended him for his control in another circumstance.

"No. She was a virgin when I met her, and she was determined to stay that way. She wasn't into drugs. Her particular poison was alcohol, but it didn't seem to affect her all that much. So I never saw her out of control. At least, not until I ..." I hesitated, then forged ahead. Clark would forgive me, or not. I would not hide what I had been from him. "I grew annoyed at her one night, because she had chased away someone who would have topped me. She always protected me, trying to make sure I didn't go off with someone likely to kill me, but this time I was really annoyed. I told her she needed to loosen up a little. Then I slipped a little something into her drink, not even thinking about not mixing the two."

I had seen the dismay on her face when she realised what I had done, but had been so high I didn't care. So high, that I don't remember anything more. "We woke up the next morning in one of the upstairs rooms of 'Despair'. My high was gone, too quickly as usual. I was a real mess, covered in stuff I didn't even want to try and identify. And I was aching, like I'd run a race without limbering up first. I rolled over and saw Krystal lying on the other side of the room. She was naked, and bruised quite badly. She was covered in the same variety of unidentifiable things as I was, and blood. I remembered she was virgin, and realised she wasn't anymore, and that it was my fault. I'd spiked her drink, and now we were in this mess. I couldn't remember who we'd gone up there with. When she finally woke up, I asked her if she remembered, and she said no, she didn't remember anything. I think she lied. I think she knows who was in that room. And I think there was only the two of us."

Clark took a deep breath. He knew what I was saying. I had drugged my best, my only, friend. Then I had taken her upstairs and practically raped her. Whether I had had her permission or not was a moot point, for she was beyond saying no by the time I'd got her up there. Every bruise, all the blood, and every tear track I remember, I was the cause of it all. And still, she had looked me in the eye and said she didn't remember who had done it. Still, she had protected me, even from my own monstrous self.

"She forgave you." Clark's thoughts must have followed some of the same paths mine chose. His voice was soft, as it always was when he was serious. I understood the unspoken support in his statement too. She had forgiven me, and so did he.

"Yes. She forgave me. And I betrayed her again." I would tell him all. He deserved to know it all, even if it turned him away.

"How?" He was bracing himself, but his mind was open. Oh Clark, I hope you can see that I am not that man anymore. I hope I don't lose you before I even have you.

"Two months after that incident, I decided that I'd had enough. Oh, I let my father think he was hauling me out of the mire, but I had already decided that I had tried everything and found it all lacking. So I would turn myself to a different track, destroying my father through business. I announced it one night, that I wouldn't be back. We made it into a real party. It was great fun. And for my great farewell, I kissed everyone goodbye. I bestowed upon one and all a token of my 'friendship' as I went, a small white tablet, from mouth to mouth. Krystal didn't want it, but I forced her to swallow. She was so high when I left that I don't think she even noticed I was gone. I thought I was being kind."

"A poisonous kiss. That was what she meant, wasn't it?" His eyes were wide. God, this was hurting him, but he had to know. He had to know me. What I had been, and what I had become.

"Yes. I didn't think of it again. Not until just now, when she confronted me with it. I realise now what I did. She would have come crashing down from that high, such was the nature of the drug. She would have been alone, with the man she loved - though I didn't know that - nowhere to be found. You can't know what its like, Clark, to crash after a high, but some people are suicidal. Krystal slashed her wrists. I didn't know that either, until I saw the scars just now." I had almost killed her. She had loved me, faults and all, and I had repaid her with cruelty and betrayal.

"Its okay, Lex. You're not like that anymore. You'd never use anyone that way, or hurt them. Whatever the drugs altered in you to make you that way, it wasn't the real you. The real you is sitting here with me, sorry for what he did to a good friend." I watched him slowly slide off the seat opposite me to kneel before me. He kept his eyes on mine, full of trust and love, and a hint of uncertainty. I remembered a pair of eyes, golden eyes that could only belong to one person, looking up at me, dilated by drugs, willing and loving and fearful all at once. I had ignored the plea in those eyes and forced my erection into her mouth. Tears had escaped her eyes, even as she allowed no sound to escape her throat.

"Lex!" I shook my head, forcing the memory from my mind. If that was any indication of what I had done to Krystal, I didn't want to remember any more. So I focused on Clark. The purity of his gaze, the shimmer of passing street lights in his emerald eyes. There was concern there, concern for me.

"Its okay, Clark. Just remembering." I brushed the hair tentatively from his forehead; afraid he might not want my touch. He leaned into it, like he was starved for touch. I was filled with wonder. What good had I ever done to deserve a person like Clark Kent?

"Lex. I want to..." There was an ache to his voice.

"Shhhhh. I know. Easy Clark. We'll take this slow and easy." My hands framed his face, and drew him forward as I leaned slightly down to meet him. Our lips met, and it was as sweet, as wonderful, as the first time. This was more of an exploration, a getting to know one another better. We had been friends for a while now, and were comfortable with that, but this was new. I had had feelings for Clark from the moment I met him, but I knew it had taken him a bit longer to realise what he felt for me wasn't normal friendship. So we kissed slowly, and gently, letting him get used to the idea of kissing another man, his best friend. When he was ready, I deepened the kiss. I showed him the way of it, with lips and teeth and tongues, until he mimicked me, tasting just as deeply of me as I was of him. He made a sound, a groan, and it was full of need and desire. I pulled slowly back, and I know the smirk on my face was smug. Forgive me, but I had just been handed everything I had ever wanted, and I think a little smugness was my due.

Clark's eyes were slightly out of focus, glazed over. His lips - god, it couldn't be right for those lips to look so innocent after what he had just done - were slightly parted, wet and swollen, allowing ragged breaths to escape. "Lex..." More desperation, but one of us had to keep our head.

"Okay, Clark. Get back up on the seat." He whimpered, as though the thought of being denied hurt him. I rushed to reassure him. "I'm here, Clark, and I'm not going anywhere. Just sit back up for me, okay?" He complied, as I knew he would. As he slid back up onto the seat, I slipped forward onto my knees in front of him. The view was sensational. He realised what I had in mind now, and gave me that smile that would melt the coldest of hearts. I would happily spend the rest of my life on my knees if it kept that smile on his face.
I reached out tentatively, my hands coming to rest on his groin. The hardness of the flesh beneath was gratifying, but he was shaking like the proverbial leaf. "We don't have to do this Clark. If you're not ready, we can wait." I desperately wanted him to say he was ready, that he wanted everything I could give him, but I wouldn't push him. This had to be his choice, as it had not been Krystal's. I would do this right. For Clark, I would do anything; even deny myself his much-coveted love.

"I'm ready, and I want this. I want you, Lex. I...I want all those things you told Krystal you wanted." His voice was as shaky as the rest of him, but there was conviction in it. He did want this, but he was afraid, nervous. He was a virgin after all.

"Alright, Clark." I leaned up, over his body, until my lips found his again. He moaned into my mouth, and the vibration went right through me. Pushing his t-shirt up, I caressed his skin. He was smooth and hot, with a dusting of dark hair that felt silky under my fingertips. He was perfectly made, this boy of mine. I broke the kiss long enough to pull the shirt over his head, then plunged back in. He had stopped shaking, lost in sensations other than fear. Dragging my mouth across his chin, his cheek, I nuzzled behind his ear, then bit the lobe...hard. Clark gasped. I'd known he would like that. I nibbled and sucked my way down his torso, distracting him from the fact that I had undone his pants. When my hand wrapped around the hard length of him, he arched up off the seat, surprised and seeking more. So I lowered his pants and his boxers, freeing him to the air and my heated gaze. He was beautiful, so damned beautiful, and he was mine.

Teasing, uncharacteristically playful, I lowered my mouth within a breath of him, them slipped my tongue out to take one quick lap at the head of him. Clark's reaction was stellar. He had stopped being coherent a little while ago, the only thing he seemed able to say was my name. He was a teenage boy, and a virgin at that, so I didn't tease him anymore. I glanced up once more and found myself looking into deep green eyes shining with more emotion than I wanted to admit to, so I lowered my mouth over him, took him deep.

"Lex!!" It was almost a scream, and so loud I was afraid the driver might hear us back here despite the soundproofing. He couldn't help the small thrusts he was making into my mouth, but that was fine with me. I just swallowed and took him deeper, causing him to whimper as he tried to hold himself back. Determined to make him loose control, I hummed low in my throat. The vibration sent him over. I swallowed quickly as he pulsed into me, crying out my name over and over. 'Bittersweet' was a word that was going to have a whole new connotation for me now. I kept sucking until he was spent, then slowly slid my mouth off of him, pausing to give him one last swipe with my tongue over the head. He whimpered again.
I looked up and felt my own erection jump in my pants. The look of him was so utterly sensual, and not in the least bit feigned. Clark didn't have the experience for artifice, not yet, so everything about him was real. The look of stunned pleasure on his face, the limp sprawl of his limbs, the gasping rise and fall of his chest. All real, and all because of me. It was more of a turn on than the most skilled and blatant of seductions.

"Lex...Oh God, Lex. That was..." He didn't have the words. Neither did I.

"I know, Clark." Was that tenderness in my voice? Did I even have that in me?

"Lex...you...how...what do you want me to do?" He gestured at my crotch, where there was an undeniable tent.

"You don't have to do anything. I'll be fine. But what do you want to do?"

"I...I want..." He hesitated, but I made no move to prompt him. This had to be his choice, all the way, no matter what he chose. Then his eyes latched onto mine, as if drawing strength from them. "Iwanttofeelyouinsideofme." He said it all in a rush, but I heard it crystal clear.

"God, Clark, are you sure?" I was afraid to believe.

He smiled that wide smile of genuine delight that drew me like a moth to flame. "I'm sure, Lex. I...I love you." He was so unsure when he said it. Not unsure of his feelings, I know, but unsure of how I would take it. I had not, up until this point, been the poster boy for the softer emotions. My mother loved me, and when she died I had turned into the antithesis of all her hopes and dreams. Krystal had loved me, and I had used her, abused her, and nearly destroyed her. Now Clark loved me, and I wasn't sure what to do about that. Could I give him the words he needed? I decided to test them out on my tongue.

"I love you, too, Clark." Not so hard. In fact, it felt almost right to say it. Almost. He had yet to confide in me, even though he had promised to. And he would, for a guy like Clark considered a promise unbreakable. Until he had, though, that last lingering doubt would plague me. He knew it too.

"No you don't. Not yet. But you will, and that's enough."

I closed my eyes. Such faith in me, and I wasn't sure what I had done to earn it. Whatever it was, it had gotten me this; Clark Kent, the star of my wet dreams, asking me to do what I had wanted to do for a very long time now. I opened my eyes, smiling like I thought I had forgotten how. Immediately I started planning how best to do this, and quickly came upon a problem.

"Damn it all to hell!" It was vehement enough to make Clark frown. I looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry Clark. We can't do it."

"Why?" Little boy lost look, and I almost gave in. Problem.

"Ahhh, I wasn't really planning on this, and certainly not in the back of the limo." He wasn't getting it. "There are certain things we need to do this..." I saw the understanding finally register in his eyes.

"You mean condoms? I...I have one in my wallet." He blushed beautifully; even after all we had done a moment ago. Could he be any more innocent?

"So do I, but that isn't what I mean. We need some..." Only one way to say it, and I knew it was going to embarrass him. Oh well. "...some...lubricant?"

"Oh." Yes, the blush deepens, and he gives me that shy, up-from-under-his-eyelashes look. His smile is self-deprecating. "Ah, Lex? You, um...you actually can't hurt me...that way."

"I can't..." I am not going to stoop to dumbly repeating him. No, not me. I have suspected such things for long enough that they shouldn't surprise, and yet it does. This is part of the secret he has held onto for so long, and at the moment I can't seem to care beyond the implication that I can now do this. "Clark, you're a bloody marvel! Kneel on the floor, leaning over the seat. I think that will be easiest here."

I moved back onto my side of the limo so he had room to manoeuvre. He did as I had instructed and then looked back at me over his shoulder. "Like this?" Like that? Is he kidding? I am going to hell for sure, now. The most beautiful boy, in all ways, is bent over my limo seat. Our sole purpose at this moment is to get me inside of him. Suddenly breathing is not something automatic. When I speak, my voice is about two octaves deeper and a hell of a lot hoarser.

"God, Clark, you are wearing far too many clothes." His reply is a huge grin. Skin, miles and miles of supple, gorgeously tanned skin. Over muscle. Laid out before me like a sacrifice. If this is the result of farm chores, I say, bring on the farmers! I want to touch, all of it, every inch. But there is more to uncover. The best part is still hidden. My voice has, if possible, got even rougher. "The pants, Clark. I want you naked."

I hear him take in an unsteady breath, and am about to ask him if he is still sure, but then his hands are there at his waist, pulling down his already unzipped pants and the boxers beneath in one smooth movement. Leaving him bare to my gaze. I shuddered with the force of my own need, felt my erection jolt as if recognising it's home. Thank goodness I had removed my shirt while watching him remove his pants, I could hold back no longer, and moved forward to drape myself over his back.

"Beautiful Clark, so beautiful." I wasn't making a whole lot of sense to him but, in my head, the look of him, the smell of him, and now the awesome feel of him, had all blurred together into a one word summary: beautiful.

"Lex..." His voice sounded like it had been torn out of him. I was pressed up against him from my knees to my chest, sweat making us glide silkily together. The hard bulge still contained in the leather of my pants was pushing persistently into the cleft of his backside. "Lex...God! Pleeease..." His cry cut off into a sobbing whimper as I buried my teeth deep into the flesh and muscle of his shoulder.

My hands roamed unceasingly across the well-defined muscles of his chest and the concave smoothness of his abdomen, then back up to tease the firm nipples sticking out and begging for my attention. I would have liked to taste them again, but promised myself that for the next time. The shuddering of his body shook through me, and we both rose and fell with the panting breaths he took. He claimed I couldn't hurt him, but I would nevertheless prepare him as best I could.

I nibbled and licked my way down his spine. The noises he made were barely human, full of desperation and need. He tasted of salty sweat, tangy male musk, and something that was entirely Clark's own. Slowly, he was writhing, twisting beneath my ministrations, trying to make me move this way and that, growling when I thwarted all his attempts and stuck to my own path.

My hands were resting on his taut butt, and finally I slipped one finger between the cheeks, just a caress. He made a sound like choking, arching into it, trying to push me closer inside him. I smiled at his eagerness, and his innocence. When has a Luthor ever done that except which he wanted? My tongue finally finished its track down his back, and slowly slid into the crease, tickling the puckered hole with the tip before moving back and simply blowing cool air upon him. He whined, a sound of utter torment, begging me not to prolong this torture.
"Are you okay Clark?" I was smiling as I said it, and I'm not entirely sure I managed to keep my humour from my voice.

"Lex...please...so good..."

I knew what he meant. I was aching with the need to plunge inside of him. Holding myself back was proving a difficult task. So I decided to give us both a break. Quickly I wet one finger, then two, in my mouth. Leaning over him once again, I breathed, "Yes, Clark. Yesss." Slowly, slowly, I pushed at his entrance with one slicked finger, feeling the give, and pushing harder, working him open for me. Damn, he was tight! My cock pulsed at the thought of being buried in the tight, damp heat of him. When I added another finger, scissoring him open further, he started to whimper, chanting my name like his own personal mantra.

Finally, finally, I unzipped my pants, freeing myself. Clark heard the sound and looked at me over his shoulder. His eyes were the most brilliant emerald I had ever seen, glittering in the dim lighting of the car. There was a burning desperation in them, a feverish need. If I had ever thought to put a halt to this, one look into those eyes and I wouldn't have stood a chance. Holding his gaze with my own, I pumped my cock a few times to spread the pre-cum at the head, then lined myself up to enter him.

"Clark...I do love you." I told him as I slowly thrust forward. His keening cry was one of unbearable pleasure, rather than excruciating pain. I eased into him until he took all of me, my balls pressed up against his firm butt. We were both panting as I slowly withdrew and thrust again, and again, and again. I'm not sure what he was saying, only that his voice was a background hum, but I recognised the tone. Begging, pleading. I picked out one word from his torrent. Harder. So I grabbed his hips, my fingers digging in to hold him still. I drew back, until only the very tip of me remained within him, then thrust forward with a savage jerk.

He cried out again, and still it was not with pain. He was perfect, all my dreams come true. I could take him, as hard, as fast, as I wanted and not hurt him. The muscles surrounding me rippled as over and over I rammed into him, hitting his prostate hard with every thrust. Finally, he arched right back, coming hard, sobbing at the mind-blowing ecstasy of it. I almost screamed when his orgasm ripped mine from me, but choked it back to a hoarse shout. I was shuddering with the force of it, and it was almost painful as I shot into him again and again, his body milking mine for all I had.

My mind caught up with me again as I lay draped over an equally limp Clark. He was shaking, and I was immediately worried that he regretted what we had done, that I had somehow scared him, or even hurt him despite his claims to the contrary. Then I heard him, and realised he was laughing. There was sheer elation in that joyous sound, and I found myself smiling in response. My smile widened when I remembered that I had told Clark some of my darkest secrets, and that he had forgiven them, accepted me for what I had been and what I now was. He was here with me, and he was happy with the amazing things we had just done. And I had told him I loved him...and I meant it.

"Lex, oh man, that was incredible!" He was still laughing, and I had never seen his grin so wide, hadn't thought it possible for his grin to get any wider! Still too high on the satisfaction, I moved my hand to lazily stroke his face, all the perfect details of it, and the imperfections that made him utterly adorable. He frowned when I didn't say anything. "It was okay for you too, right? We will do it again, won't we?"

Such insecurity. I can't believe the boy is so unaware of his own beauty, his natural magnetism. My voice is as lazy as my movements when I speak to reassure him. "Clark, it was quite beyond okay, and we will most certainly be doing that again. As often, in fact, as can be humanly possible. You may be a super man, but I need time to recoup after that kind of workout." Now that I thought about it, there were a few aches and pains making themselves known. With a sigh, I drew myself from his body, and he whimpered at the loss, so I stroked my hands down his back to soothe him. "Ah, I realise its going to be a little uncomfortable for you, but we need to get dressed. We're almost there."

Clark's gaze whipped to the window in a sudden panic. He'd quite simply forgotten where we were and what we were doing before we got...sidetracked. "Krystal!" He gasped. "Lex, what are you going to do? She loves you too."

"After what I did to her? No, Clark, she doesn't love me anymore, but I have to try and set things right between us. I'll just talk to her and see what happens." God, this was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to.

Dressing while he talked, Clark argued, "She does love you, Lex. What do you think that was all about in the club before? She was upset that you had found someone to love, but walked away because she loves you too much to pull you in two different directions. She loved you enough to let you go."

What he was saying made far too much sense for me to dismiss it. In fact, I knew he was right. I just hadn't wanted to admit it. "God, Clark, what am I going to do? I don't want to hurt her again, but I don't see any other option. I am not letting you go now I've finally got you."

"In that case, why don't we share?" He grinned when he said it, like it was the most normal thing in the world to suggest.

"In what case, why don't we share what?" This definitely needed clarification, because where my mind had leaped at his suggestion was probably not what he had in mind.

"Because you love me too much to let me go - and that really means a lot to me, Lex - why don't Krystal and I both date you?"

My goodness, he did mean what I thought he meant! Or maybe... "Do you mean both date me at separate times, or, like, a threesome?"

"Well..." He blushed. "I guess that depends what Krystal wants. In the club, before, I was attracted to her. The same way I'm attracted to you. So, if everyone wants to be together, I won't mind, I don't think..." He trailed off, embarrassed.

"Clark, you're a marvel! We'll see what Krystal thinks, but if she's the same girl she was there is every chance she'll go for this."

The car pulled over in front of the Walker building. This was it. Tonight was a night for changing my life. I climbed out, a now-dressed Clark behind me. I started forward, but Clark put his hand on my arm to stop me. I turned and looked at him, the question in my eyes.
"One thing. You said Lady Krystal Walker? Lady, Lex?"

I laughed. "Oh, yes, she's the real thing. Her father is a Lord. Somewhere down the line she's related to royalty, but so far that I think a whole country would have to die for her to take the throne, but yes, the title is hers." I smiled again at the thought of Clark bowing to her. "Oh, but Clark? Don't actually call her that, or she'll kill you."

PART III: Krystal

"Oh God, Lex! I can't compete with that. I wouldn't even want to!" I hadn't felt this kind of pain since I had woken up and found Lex gone and known it was for good. It felt like a burst of heat spreading through me, only to leave a numbing cold in its wake. Tears I'd always refused to cry threatened to spill over, so I left. Making myself as small as possible, and moving too quickly for anyone to grab me, I threaded my way through the heaving mass of dancing bodies to the door. I was glad I hadn't valet parked my car as I dashed across the road to my baby; a beautiful shiny, sleek black '84 Celica in showroom condition. I roared through the gears as I pulled away.

The memory of Lex and his Clark plagued me, over and over, as I drove. Fifth gear, foot to the floor, I was flying...fleeing. Lex loved that boy, in a way he had never loved me, but I couldn't be sorry that he had finally learned how to love. And the boy. God, with those gorgeous green eyes fairly glowing with love and warmth, was it any wonder Lex had finally fallen? The thought of them together, the things they would do together, made me tingle in a way I hadn't for a very long time.

"You're a fool Krys." I told myself. As if falling in love with Lex hadn't been the biggest mistake in my life, I had to compound it by constantly forgiving him. And to my horror, tonight I had discovered that I still loved him, and could never have him. He was unattainable, and always had been, in one way or another. He belonged to someone else now, however, and wouldn't even need me to protect him anymore. The gentle giant looked more than capable of looking after Lex. I took a deep breath, choking back another sob. I would not cry. I was stronger than that.

The Walker building was before me before I knew it, quicker than I would have wanted. I hadn't even planned on coming here, but it was where my wandering mind had brought me. What did that say about me? I didn't end up at the door to my home, or my best friend's door. No, I crawled back to work. God, that was pathetic.

I parked in my personal space and took my private elevator to the penthouse. My father's office was up there, as was my own. Between us, we took up half the floor. The rest was shared out between eight members of senior management. They were all empty. Not that I had expected anyone to be there at this time of the morning. As I walked through my door, the phone rang. I frowned, who could be calling now? Who would reasonably expect me to be here? I put it on speakerphone and went to stand by the windows, looking out at the bright lights of Metropolis and wishing I were anywhere else.

"Hello?"

"Lady Walker, how lovely to hear your silky voice again. How have you been?" The gravelly, easily recognisable voice sent a shiver through me. What could he possibly want?

"Lionel Luthor. How can I be of service to you at this rather odd hour?" I kept my voice cool. I had watched Lex deal with his father often enough to know how to play the game. Besides, my own father had not been so very different.

"Well, I'm sure you're a talented lady at any time of the day or night. I could put you to good use in a great variety of ways." I shuddered at the veiled implication. He'd tried to seduce me once, but a horrified Lex had walked in and saved me. As though his thoughts had followed mine, he went on. "As it happens, however, my call tonight is about my son. Stay away from Lex."

There was threat in his very tone, but I refused to be disturbed by it. I allowed amusement to creep into my voice. "I beg your pardon?"

"Stay away from Lex. I know you saw him tonight. A nightclub is an interesting place to hold a business meeting, but any business you conduct with him or LexCorp will be to your detriment. I guarantee it."

He was serious. He thought Lex and I had been having some kind of clandestine business meeting. Lex had obviously started his own company, and apparently Daddy Luthor wasn't happy about it. "My, my, my. You're not afraid of a little competition are you, Luthor? How the mighty have fallen. Espionage of this sort should be beneath you, but apparently it isn't."
"Laugh all you will, Lady Walker, but heed my words. If you are looking to merge with a Luthor, I suggest you choose the one with the greater experience." The innuendo was a fine way to end this horrible conversation, and he hung up. Reaching out, I blindly hung up my phone too. Then I laid my forehead against the cool window glass and closed my eyes.

"Damn all Luthors to hell." I moaned.

Two hands crept around my waist, coming to rest on my stomach. I didn't stiffen in fear, I didn't react at all. For only one man had ever held me that way. I felt his breath flutter across my ear a moment before he spoke. "Surely not all of us, Krys."

"No. Just the ones I know." I wasn't ready to give in yet. I could feel the way he was holding me melting the icy resolve around my heart. We had stood this way on so many different occasions, in so many different places, but only ever for one reason. It was Lex's way of protecting me. His arms around me labeled me 'his', and therefore not to be touched. In a crowded nightclub full of high, hormone crazy men and women, it had worked as nothing else ever could. Lex Luthor was respected, not only for his money, but for his unpredictable temper. You didn't touch his toys without his permission, and he never gave anyone permission to touch me. It was the deal we had silently made. I would keep an eye on him, and he would give me what protection he could.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, nuzzling gently behind my ear. I shivered, my treacherous body giving me away when I wanted to be cold and harsh. "For everything, Krys. For drugging you. For stealing your innocence so cruelly. For leaving you the way I did. For never seeing how you felt. For pushing you too far. For not letting you know how I felt about you too."

I trembled, this time fighting to hold back tears I had held in so long already. He would destroy me. I wasn't sure I had the strength to stop him. I had thought I had, but not anymore. "Lex, please. Just go. I can smell sex and farm boy all over you. I forgave you long ago for the things that happened between us. You have no need to feel guilty. Go back to your Clark. Love him. Leave me be."

"But you love him too." Another voice. Clark's. I had really messed up this time. I hadn't heard either of them come in. Now I was trapped, and I didn't see any way out that wouldn't cause me pain.

I turned around, twisting quickly, savagely, out of Lex's grip. "It hardly matters who I love. Lex loves you. If he left you and came to me, he would be miserable. I would be miserable too. So, take him home. Make love to him. Again."

The green eyes flinched ever so slightly, but he went on gamely. "Miss Walker, please. He'd be just as miserable if he walked out of here without you too. He loves me, I know, and that is incredible, but he loves you too. He loved you first, but just didn't know what it was until it was all too late. Can't we share?"

I had already had a retort in mind, but his last sentence had made all thought slip from my mind. What the hell was he talking about, share? "What? You take Lex Sunday to Tuesday, I'll take him Thursday to Saturday, and we'll give him Wednesday off?" The sarcasm was heavy in my voice. I had just stepped into a surreal realm.

"No. Clark is suggesting we, ah, play together." Even Lex sounded like he didn't know how to take all this. I felt hysterical laughter welling up from within me. I choked it down as viciously as I had my earlier tears.

"You, me, and Clark?" I sounded as dazed as I felt. This was crazy. But what if it wasn't? What if I could have Lex? And the gorgeous Clark? I'd taken to him the moment I saw him in 'Despair', had even felt the desire I'd not felt since Lex walked away starting to coil within me again. I'd been a virgin before Lex, and celibate since. Was I even capable of being part of a threesome? The more I thought about it, the more I was willing to try.

Lex smiled wickedly. "Yes. Are you game?" He'd talked me into trying a great many things with that line before. It had the same effect on me now. I had to rise to the challenge.

Instead of answering, I sauntered over to Clark. He stood there looking so bewildered. This guy was more innocent than I had ever been. He didn't even have the instincts to know when he was being hunted. Lex watched me with cautious eyes. He remembered me well enough to know I could be unpredictable when under pressure. Catching Clark's gaze and holding it, I put my hands out against the concave solidness of his stomach. I smiled and licked my lips, this boy was built. Pushing slightly against him, I ran my hands up over the washboard muscles, over the well-defined chest, over his broad shoulders and finally up into his thick, silky hair. I scraped his scalp lightly with my fingernails and he made a sound, half shock, half pleasure. Suddenly, my fingers clenched in his hair, holding him still, and he sucked in a fast breath. Moulding myself against his body, I pressed my lips to his, nipping his full bottom lip with sharp teeth, and then soothing it with my tongue. His mouth trembled open under the assault. Lex hadn't had time to teach him anything yet, so his untutored reactions fueled my own desire. When I invaded his mouth, he made another sound, one of desire and excitement, that seemed to be torn from him. When I felt him start to shudder, I pulled away. Licking my lips like the cat who had swallowed the proverbial canary, I turned to Lex. "Oh, I'm game, Lex. The question is, are you?"

"Come here." He growled. I felt the excitement already licking within me. My carefully orchestrated strides showed nothing of the unsteadiness I felt. Then Lex had hold of me, his grip almost brutal upon my arms. His obvious need fed directly into my own, making me moan. His lips forced mine open, demanding, not teasing. Then, like the conqueror he was born to be, he plundered. I answered his demands with my own. I hit the glass of the window with a thud, then Lex let go of my arms, running his hands down my body to curl into my behind. With an impatient hitch, he lifted me, and my legs wrapped around his hips. I felt the hardness of his arousal pressing intimately against me, and groaned. Vaguely, I heard Clark make a noise, but was too involved in the wonder of Lex to take much notice.

Lex's lips traveled down my throat, tongue lapping at the pulse there before moving back up to nibble on my earlobe. As his teeth closed down over the sensitive flesh, another pair of lips covered my own, capturing my wild cry. I opened my eyes and looked into a vibrant green gaze. Because Clark was taller than Lex, he stood plastered against him and could still reach over his shoulder to me. It was... breathtaking. As Clark leaned into Lex, Lex was forced to lean into me, and I was pushed against the window. All three of us groaned.

"Lex, your penthouse." I panted, barely able to think over the pleasure coursing through me.

"What about it?" He murmured, attacking my throat again.

"We can't do this here, like this."

"Why not? It seems to be working just fine." He was using his cajoling voice on me. I refused to be swayed by it.

"Lex. Uhn! Lex, please. You, and Clark, you both..." I trailed off. How does one tactfully point out that they were both already covered in, ah, stuff?

A light went on in Lex's mind, and I was saved from further explanation. "Oh. You're right. I'm sorry." He pulled back. "Penthouse. Definitely. Your car or the limo?" I gave him a look. "Your car. Of course. Faster, much faster."

"In the limo we could..." Clark started.

"Faster, Clark. So much faster." Lex pointed out.

"Okay. Yes. Good idea." He agreed.

At the door, Lex stopped me. "What about my father's merger offer?"

I couldn't help it. I started to laugh. "Oh Lex! I'm not crazy enough to make a deal with the devil, let alone give him body and soul!"

***

The Luthor penthouse was still in darkness. We hadn't bothered to turn on any lights. I stood in the darkness, staring out into the night through windows as large as those at my office. I was ignoring the huge bed behind me, my excitement put on slow burn while the boys cleaned up. Lex had been in the shower ten minutes ago. It was Clark's turn now. Still, Lex had not come into the bedroom. I wondered briefly what he might be doing, but let that thought drift away. He would come when he was ready.

This time, I saw him approach, and when his arms went around me, I leaned back into them. He looked past me, out the window. When he spoke, there was the slightest hint of uncertainty in it. "Clark was right before. When he said I loved you but didn't know what it was, he was right. You guarded me through everything, Krystal. You even kept the truth about me from myself. I thought what I felt for you was gratitude, and the kind of protectiveness I would have felt for a sister. I was wrong. It wasn't until later that I realized the level of possessiveness I felt was out of proportion. By the time I realized I loved you, I had been gone too long, and was starting to feel for Clark." He would have gone on, but I didn't need to hear anymore. It was already more than I had dreamed of.

"Shhh. It's alright Lex. You don't need to explain to me. For now, it’s enough to know that we love." I turned in his arms, and gently we kissed. It was different than before, softened by emotion. Yet, in its own way, it excited just as much. Slowly, we undressed one another. Easy for me, since Lex wore only a bathrobe. Hard for Lex, peeling me out of my catsuit. We were laughing by the time we got to the bed. The laughter stopped when I fell back onto the bed and Lex covered me with his body. He was beautiful naked, like a marble statue warmed and come to life. His skin was pale, smooth and sleek, and free of hair. His muscles were well-defined, but not grossly overdeveloped. And his eyes were stormy blue-grey. That was all I had time to notice before he was kissing me, caressing me, and generally sending my system into chaos. I called his name, and he paused, looking up at me from his vantage point between my breasts. I'm not sure what he saw, but it made him smile, a crooked smile that promised many devilish things.

My body was already damp for him, and he found out in very short order when those quick, clever fingers of his found me, slid into me with ease. It had been so long, and my body was wound tight as a bow. After a few expert touches, I flew apart, sobbing his name. Then he was above me again, looking down into my eyes, grinning like a child. I couldn't help but smile back, until I felt him, hard and insistent, at my opening. Last time we had done this, he had hurt me terribly, too far gone in his drug-induced haze to notice, or care. This time, I was afraid, but not enough so to stop him. This was a different Lex. This Lex had control, and finesse. My thoughts must have shown, for he paused above me, holding himself away.

"I won't hurt you, Krystal. I'll take you slow and easy, the way I should have before. I know you Krystal, too well sometimes. There hasn't been any others, has there? No one else to take the sting of my betrayal from you?"

"No." I didn't bother to deny it. He would see the lie.

"Good." He whispered, and slowly, slowly, eased into me. I felt the stretch, the twinge of pain, but not the wrenching agony of before. He showed me the way of it, with the kind of tenderness he rarely showed to the world. Before long, he had me arching up, trying to find more of him, take all of him. This time, I crested the wave gently, sliding down the other side with a sigh.

Then the bed dipped, and I saw Clark, smiling over Lex's shoulder. Desire pulsed through me anew, and Lex gasped at the clenching of my muscles around him. "You're an insatiable little thing, aren't you? Do you want him?"

I looked into Lex's eyes, worried that if I said yes, he would be hurt, or angry. He wasn't. He was amused. He understood my desire for Clark, for he felt the same himself. I realized we could both be satisfied, and leaned up to whisper suggestively into his ear. I felt his approval of my idea as his cock swelled and jerked inside me, making me arch back with a gasp. Then he was withdrawing, leaving me empty. I watched as he whispered into Clark's ear, saw the boy's eyes widen in astonishment, then caught his gaze when he looked to me.

"God, Krystal, are you sure?" His voice was husky, and I was more sure than ever.

"Yes Clark, I'm sure." I smiled, and I knew it was sexy and seductive. Lex and I had always enjoyed flirting, whether we intended to make good on our promise or not.

He was already naked, had come from his shower that way. I admired the play of tanned muscle with the same hunger as the supple smoothness of Lex. He was big, in every way, and still virginally shy. After all, he had never been with a woman, had he? Still, he didn't hesitate to cover me with his body. He was so hot to the touch it felt like a living flame above me.
His hands came up to cup my breasts. They trembled briefly before coming down upon my sensitive flesh. I arched into his touch, moaning, and he took that as encouragement. He lowered his mouth, enveloping my nipple in the moist heat of his mouth. The pleasure speared through me, straight to my core.

I brought my knees up around his hips, cradling him between my thighs, and I could feel him, hard and insistent, pushing at me. I arched up again, urging him to go on. He looked down at me, and the look on his face was endearingly terrified.

"I don't want to hurt you." He whispered. I smiled, could feel my heart swelling with affection for this boy.

"Lex will show you. It's alright, Clark. I have a high pain threshold." Which was true, but I was more interested in calming him down. Lex looked at me over his shoulder, smiling wickedly. His hands came down over Clark's hips, guiding them, and Clark slowly, slowly penetrated me. God, he was big, stretching me and making me wonder if I could take him all. Suddenly, Lex gave one last push, and Clark thrust hard the rest of the way into me. I cried out, holding him still between my thighs, giving my body a moment to adjust. Then I managed to whimper, "Yes, God yes, Clark."

He started moving within me then. Slow, unsure thrusts, until I begged him to move faster, harder. He was finally getting into the rhythm of it when he stopped. Again I saw Lex over his shoulder and I remembered what we were supposed to be doing here. I saw Lex move suddenly, and Clark made a sound like something unbearable had just happened. Something unbearably good.

"Lex!"

Lex made no reply, just thrust again into the tight, damp heat of Clark. Of course, his thrust caused Clark to thrust too, into me, hard and deep. All three of us groaned. Again, and again, and again, he thrust. Every time, Clark hit that wonderful spot just within me, and in a very short time I stiffened and screamed both of their names. My orgasm made my inner muscles clamp hard around Clark, drawing his release from him, then milking him for more. In turn, his orgasm made him tighten around Lex, and Lex came with a hoarse cry.

We began to stir I know not how long afterwards. Clark had a goofy, sated grin on his face. Lex had a self-satisfied smirk on his. I could feel the sleepy contentment on my own. We shifted around a little, making ourselves comfortable. We were happy to just drift off to sleep. Tomorrow, we would have plans to form, stories to concoct, decisions to make. But for tonight, a night that had started in Despair, we were safely hidden from the world, pleased with one another, and secure in our love.

The End.