Matters of the Heart//Lost//Daniel&Charlotte//PG-13
Title: Matters of the Heart
Fandom: LOST
Characters/Pairing: Daniel/Charlotte
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Season 4.
Summary: Charlotte reflects on how she feels about her relationship with Daniel.
Table/Prompt: Fluff/Heart
A/N: Written for mission_insane. This takes place pre-finale since that's when I wrote it but I'm fairly sure it could work post-finale, too. This was suppose to be a fluffy fic but it got a little angsty, ah well, there is some definite fluff to it! This is a slightly darker take on the possible future of the Charladay pairing.
It's just sex, she tells herself repeatedly.
But even as she thinks it, she knows it's a lie. This--whatever this is--has become a lot more than just an act of physical gratification. This has transformed into something undoubtedly deeper than 'just sex', contrary to what she'd like to believe. This was now as complicated as the truth of it was simple. This could be summed into a single word...but she dared not think of it, let alone speak it aloud.
...it's meaningless...
She wants to believe that but she doesn't. There is meaning in everything--it only took her a while to see most of it. Like the way he looks at her. Like the way he smiles at her. Like the way he tries, albeit futilely, to defend her from the scorn of others...or how he tries to protect her from even herself at times. Like the gentleness with which he holds her, the loving way he brushes his lips against hers, ever being the gentleman and careful not to overstep, wary of crossing a line he shouldn't. As if there were any lines left for them to cross at this point.
...we have nothing in common...
This was only partially true. They were complete opposites in almost every way, true--but none of those ways were the ones that mattered. They stood on common ground in their devotion to one another...and that was enough. For him. For her. For them.
For now.
...he doesn't know what he wants...
On the contrary, she knew that he knew exactly what he wanted. For once, he was thinking with a clear mind about matters of the heart whereas she was the one lost and confused within her own musings. It was a role reversal of sorts, she briefly reflected. But she wasn't sure that she liked it. In fact, she was nearly certain that she did not.
...I don't know what I want...
And so they were at the heart of the matter, the true concern hidden beneath the lies that she's told herself. Is this what she wanted? Was he who she wanted? These were just some of the questions that plagued her restless mind as she lay there...beside him. It was true: she didn't know what she wanted--in life, for herself, least of all from him. Such indecision tormented her in a way it never had before. Perhaps at the forefront of her worry was the fear of hurting him or--worse--getting hurt herself.
Not that he would ever do anything to hurt her consciously...but things such as shaky relationships tended to spiral out of control whenever she was involved.
...this could be a mistake...
She'd made mistakes before...This didn't feel like one. This felt right, being with him. But feelings were temperamental things--easily fooled and manipulated. They couldn't be trusted. It might have felt right but she knew that that mean little in the grand scheme of things. And what a scheme this was turning out to be; he had given himself completely to her--heart and soul--yet she continued to keep him at arm's length.
...but for how long?
How long could she deny his heart and ignore the gentle guiding of her own? How long until it was too late to save this fledgling romance of theirs...if he could even be called that? Did she even want to save this thing that they had...would it even be worth it to try? She didn't know. And the not knowing was the worst part.
"Dan," she whispered, and then louder, "Daniel."
His eyelids fluttered open and the ocean met the shore as her blue eyes met his brown ones. She was leaning over him, one arm bracing herself on the other side of him. He gave her a shy smile.
"Hi," he said quietly.
"Hey," she replied. "Were you sleeping?"
"No. Just thinking."
"What were you thinking about?" For some reason, Charlotte needed to know. It was almost a desperate need.
"Oh, uh..."
"Tell me," she insisted, though it bordered on a demand.
Daniel's gentle eyes took her in as if he were weighing the consequences of telling her what he'd been thinking about as opposed to making something up. "I was just thinking that...well, that you're really very nice. This, this is nice..."
Despite her earlier melancholy thoughts, she couldn't help but smile. There was always a sincerity to whatever Daniel said to her; it wasn't some cheap pickup line that she'd heard dozens of times from drunks at bars. Daniel had a tendency to say a lot when he got going, but he meant every word of what he said. There wasn't a deceptive bone in his body. It was one of the things that she appreciated about him.
It was also largely why she trusted him so much. Trust didn't come easy to her, she who had been betrayed numerous times in the past. Daniel's intention were always good at heart, he'd never attempted to disguise any of them as anything but what they were. His honesty and compassion were refreshing to her after having lived in the real world for so long, after having dealt with people of despicable types.
"...and that I'm lucky to be here with you," he finished.
"Are you?" The question came out before she could stop it.
He seemed confused by it--though that wasn't surprising; many things confused Daniel Faraday. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know, Daniel..." she said and meant it. She had no idea what sort of question she was asking or even the answer that she wanted to hear.
Charlotte moved back to lay beside him, staring up at the stars through a rip in the roof of their tent. They'd have to fix that later, lest they get rained on.
"Charlotte." She was surprised more by his hand caressing the side of her face than his voice. She hesitantly looked at him. "I..."
"I know, Dan," she interrupted, indeed knowing what he was going to say and dreading it.
"Uh, yeah, but I still kind of want to say it anyway."
Looking at him, him with that nervous smile and heartwarming gaze, seemed to melt her defenses. She conceded. "Okay."
Slowly, enunciating each word with clarity, he said, "I love you."
I love you, too, was her heart's silent reply.
But she couldn't say it, couldn't voice it just yet. The future was still too uncertain, her past still unclear...And while the present was pleasant, holding many possibilities, it was not set in stone. Things could change and then where would they be? So no, she could not admit to him--or herself--how she felt about him, truly, just yet. But maybe one day.
Charlotte smiled softly and then, wordlessly, leaned in to kiss him.
Maybe one day...very soon.
Fandom: LOST
Characters/Pairing: Daniel/Charlotte
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Season 4.
Summary: Charlotte reflects on how she feels about her relationship with Daniel.
Table/Prompt: Fluff/Heart
A/N: Written for mission_insane. This takes place pre-finale since that's when I wrote it but I'm fairly sure it could work post-finale, too. This was suppose to be a fluffy fic but it got a little angsty, ah well, there is some definite fluff to it! This is a slightly darker take on the possible future of the Charladay pairing.
It's just sex, she tells herself repeatedly.
But even as she thinks it, she knows it's a lie. This--whatever this is--has become a lot more than just an act of physical gratification. This has transformed into something undoubtedly deeper than 'just sex', contrary to what she'd like to believe. This was now as complicated as the truth of it was simple. This could be summed into a single word...but she dared not think of it, let alone speak it aloud.
...it's meaningless...
She wants to believe that but she doesn't. There is meaning in everything--it only took her a while to see most of it. Like the way he looks at her. Like the way he smiles at her. Like the way he tries, albeit futilely, to defend her from the scorn of others...or how he tries to protect her from even herself at times. Like the gentleness with which he holds her, the loving way he brushes his lips against hers, ever being the gentleman and careful not to overstep, wary of crossing a line he shouldn't. As if there were any lines left for them to cross at this point.
...we have nothing in common...
This was only partially true. They were complete opposites in almost every way, true--but none of those ways were the ones that mattered. They stood on common ground in their devotion to one another...and that was enough. For him. For her. For them.
For now.
...he doesn't know what he wants...
On the contrary, she knew that he knew exactly what he wanted. For once, he was thinking with a clear mind about matters of the heart whereas she was the one lost and confused within her own musings. It was a role reversal of sorts, she briefly reflected. But she wasn't sure that she liked it. In fact, she was nearly certain that she did not.
...I don't know what I want...
And so they were at the heart of the matter, the true concern hidden beneath the lies that she's told herself. Is this what she wanted? Was he who she wanted? These were just some of the questions that plagued her restless mind as she lay there...beside him. It was true: she didn't know what she wanted--in life, for herself, least of all from him. Such indecision tormented her in a way it never had before. Perhaps at the forefront of her worry was the fear of hurting him or--worse--getting hurt herself.
Not that he would ever do anything to hurt her consciously...but things such as shaky relationships tended to spiral out of control whenever she was involved.
...this could be a mistake...
She'd made mistakes before...This didn't feel like one. This felt right, being with him. But feelings were temperamental things--easily fooled and manipulated. They couldn't be trusted. It might have felt right but she knew that that mean little in the grand scheme of things. And what a scheme this was turning out to be; he had given himself completely to her--heart and soul--yet she continued to keep him at arm's length.
...but for how long?
How long could she deny his heart and ignore the gentle guiding of her own? How long until it was too late to save this fledgling romance of theirs...if he could even be called that? Did she even want to save this thing that they had...would it even be worth it to try? She didn't know. And the not knowing was the worst part.
"Dan," she whispered, and then louder, "Daniel."
His eyelids fluttered open and the ocean met the shore as her blue eyes met his brown ones. She was leaning over him, one arm bracing herself on the other side of him. He gave her a shy smile.
"Hi," he said quietly.
"Hey," she replied. "Were you sleeping?"
"No. Just thinking."
"What were you thinking about?" For some reason, Charlotte needed to know. It was almost a desperate need.
"Oh, uh..."
"Tell me," she insisted, though it bordered on a demand.
Daniel's gentle eyes took her in as if he were weighing the consequences of telling her what he'd been thinking about as opposed to making something up. "I was just thinking that...well, that you're really very nice. This, this is nice..."
Despite her earlier melancholy thoughts, she couldn't help but smile. There was always a sincerity to whatever Daniel said to her; it wasn't some cheap pickup line that she'd heard dozens of times from drunks at bars. Daniel had a tendency to say a lot when he got going, but he meant every word of what he said. There wasn't a deceptive bone in his body. It was one of the things that she appreciated about him.
It was also largely why she trusted him so much. Trust didn't come easy to her, she who had been betrayed numerous times in the past. Daniel's intention were always good at heart, he'd never attempted to disguise any of them as anything but what they were. His honesty and compassion were refreshing to her after having lived in the real world for so long, after having dealt with people of despicable types.
"...and that I'm lucky to be here with you," he finished.
"Are you?" The question came out before she could stop it.
He seemed confused by it--though that wasn't surprising; many things confused Daniel Faraday. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know, Daniel..." she said and meant it. She had no idea what sort of question she was asking or even the answer that she wanted to hear.
Charlotte moved back to lay beside him, staring up at the stars through a rip in the roof of their tent. They'd have to fix that later, lest they get rained on.
"Charlotte." She was surprised more by his hand caressing the side of her face than his voice. She hesitantly looked at him. "I..."
"I know, Dan," she interrupted, indeed knowing what he was going to say and dreading it.
"Uh, yeah, but I still kind of want to say it anyway."
Looking at him, him with that nervous smile and heartwarming gaze, seemed to melt her defenses. She conceded. "Okay."
Slowly, enunciating each word with clarity, he said, "I love you."
I love you, too, was her heart's silent reply.
But she couldn't say it, couldn't voice it just yet. The future was still too uncertain, her past still unclear...And while the present was pleasant, holding many possibilities, it was not set in stone. Things could change and then where would they be? So no, she could not admit to him--or herself--how she felt about him, truly, just yet. But maybe one day.
Charlotte smiled softly and then, wordlessly, leaned in to kiss him.
Maybe one day...very soon.