Exchange Fic #6: The Toymaster

[dmacabre]

The actual identity of the writer will remain secret until all the submissions are in and posted.

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Title: The Toymaster
Author: sisterthemoon
Recipient: wiccarowan
Prompt: Sort of a combination of two

Comments

[tsukisei]

I really enjoyed this! I love how you picked out little details form the movie, like the toys and built this story around it, Mystery Author. I'm glad that Sarah gave Jareth a chance and they weren't at each others throats.
Well done!

[ex_misplace]

I HEART THIS STORY SO HARD!!!! I feel like Elmyra Duff, the pet-smothering girl from Tiny Toon Adventures/The Animaniacs. I want to hug this story, and love it, and pet it and squeeze it.

First, I love the toy store. From your description when Sarah and Toby entered, I imagined Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. And Gip? Fantastic.

And just when I settled in to enjoy a non-J/S fic...(and that definitely is not a bad thing), the Goblin King shows up with some surprises of his own. w00t!!

I love that it's both Toby's and Sarah's choices. And, I like what their decisions were.

I would so love to see how courting with the Goblin King goes! Nice move, Sarah! XD

Well done. Very well done!! Thank you for a great read!

[maniacalshen]

This is lovely. First, it's well-written, with great details and an intricate background to the plot. It takes the fact that the Williams children are drawn to magic things and plays it out nicely. Toby is kind of ridiculous for a 16-year-old (I think most of us would have snuck off to the shop if disallowed), but I think that's part of the idea. ;) His enthusiasm is a plot point, and Sarah had to be brought along - I'm sure he felt compelled to bring her.

Sarah's answer to Jareth's question is perfect. After 15 years of a nonmagical existence, I doubt she'd burn a bridge as soon as it's lowered - but she has to be a cautious adult about it. Something partially learned on her first Labyrinth trip. So, good job.

[ex_misplace]

Toby is kind of ridiculous for a 16-year-old (I think most of us would have snuck off to the shop if disallowed), but I think that's part of the idea. ;) His enthusiasm is a plot point, and Sarah had to be brought along - I'm sure he felt compelled to bring her.

You know, you bring up an interesting point. It's almost as if he's still innocent in so many ways. Necessary for the magic to still work.

Another reason for me to love this story!

[wizzcat01]

Great story!

I love the idea of the shop and all the detail you put into it. That Toby is still young and naive (he would have been a baby if things had originally gone to plan), so it's like he's meant to appear younger than his age, for the magic to work. Great character in Gib too.

Nice slow-burn with Jareth and Sarah, I loved the sneaky hair sniffing too.

Very nice story, well done mystery author!

[moon_lover68]

This is just lovely to read. The Toystore is described so beautifully, I could see the toys, smell the air, feel the fabrics. The backstory to Sarah's adventures seems completely plausible in this story. I want it to end well for all of them :)