Death Note/MoB Fic: Chapter 4
Chapter 1 and Intro. Stuff
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4: Lies and Half-Lies
A/N: This chapter is weird and filled with damage control for plot points I didn't work out well in previous chapters. I'm off MoB canon at several points: about 3 I've been informed of and doubtless others I'm oblivious to. You might assume this is a mild AU or, where possible, that some things have evolved over 15-odd years. Dutch song, "Zon bij Nacht" by De Kast, to whom much appreciation. PG-13?
[DN]
I'll have to kill him again. Light felt vaguely sick.
He hadn't planned for Rem's attack to fail. That was his crucial mistake. In the mayhem surrounding Ryuuzaki's collapse, then Asuka's collapse and Ryuuzaki's resurrection, he hadn't even managed to get to Rem's remains in time to seize her Death Note. Matsuda-Matsuda of all people-had beaten him to it and handed the book over to police custody.
So once again, Light was thrown back on Misa. A debacle.
No. A setback. All he had to do was pull himself together.
So sitting in the investigation room, he sat up straight and monitored Kira's latest activity. Misa had no imagination. She killed some people Light would have spared, overlooked others who demanded speedy punishment, but her failings were comparatively minor. In the main, she was doing what he asked.
But since Ryuuzaki was still alive-alive and plainly out for blood-she wouldn't be allowed to keep it up much longer.
Light would deal with that. Misa would be called in for interrogation, and Light would contrive to get her in a line of sight with Ryuuzaki and see his name, and pass it on to Light. And Light would kill him with the scrap of the Death Note in his watch. Of course, even their rather dull coworkers would assume that Misa was the Second Kira if Ryuuzaki died after she saw him, but Light could negotiate that. He could contrive it so she saw him without anyone knowing... or replay the "it's unconscious" card. There were ways.
He'd make it work.
He'd kill L.
He had to. I will win. I always do. Kira is the god of this world, and God is the ultimate victor. You can't evade me forever, Ryuuzaki.
Light would kill him.
He'd kill the only person who'd ever made his life interesting.
He'd do it again. He'd make himself do it. He didn't have to enjoy it. He'd do it the way a fox in a trap gnaws off its leg.
Because Kira had to survive.
And because Kira had to survive, Light had to sacrifice Ryuuzaki. When had it all clicked into this different kind of focus?
Light had to sacrifice...
... had to sacrifice himself. No more L. No one left to talk to, to understand him. No one ever, for the rest of his life probably. Year after year...
Yagami Light in exchange for Kira. It wasn't a good trade, but it was the only acceptable possibility.
Light knew he'd picked up the Death Note for selfish reasons: because he was bored. In a weird sort of way, he'd thought the Death Note would make him happy.
That was a child's dream.
Light was going to spend his life miserable. He would to marry Misa, join the police force, devote his career to the tightrope walk of pretending to try to capture himself. He'd lie every day of his life about everything, to everyone-accept Misa, who was too stupid to understand, and Ryuuk, who didn't care. Maybe he'd spend the rest of his life hiding out from vengeful spirits. Soon, he'd add to them spirit of the only person whose company he exhilarated him because Kira needed that man dead.
That realization brought a kind of peace. He felt... resigned now that he thought about it. The Existentialists argued that despair was a good thing: an acceptance of reality and moving forward without false hope. Despair let you accomplish what you could.
Kira could accomplish anything.
Light-for himself-would accomplish nothing. Once you accepted it, it wasn't that bad.
He leaned his head on his hand tired, no longer looking at the computer. Matsuda (of all people) asked him if he was all right, and he made the appropriate noises in response.
He had to plan. Yes, Kira could accomplish anything once his roadblocks were removed. But Ryuuzaki was not his only impediment. Asuka was a wildcard. No doubt, Ryuuzaki was with her now, trying to convince her Light was evil and didn't deserve her protection. And if she agreed? Or if she saved Ryuuzaki again? Or if she didn't have the skill or power-or the will-to eliminate the spirits that were after him?
The first step to controlling her was to learn all that he could. Turning again to the computer, he went to work.
An hour later, Ryuuzaki came in. The air tautened. But they exchanged no words and went about their business, even after Matsuda retired for the night, leaving the two of them alone.
Light did his best to put Ryuuzaki out of his mind and focus on Asuka. With the investigation's resources, it was easy to track down her real identity: Kobayashi Saori. Strange she'd bothered to change her given name but not her surname.
Stranger still the sharp bend her life had taken in the year 2000. Kobayashi Saori had held a low-end data-entry job and been hospitalized several times for depression. Then, within a month, she quit her job, changed her name, and became the "administrative assistant" she remained to this day. Her records showed no further sign of mental illness.
Maybe she'd had a life-altering experience. Maybe she'd seen her first ghost.
Well, as long as Ryuuzaki was still here, Light might as well probe his attitude toward her. So he assembled the Kobayashi information in a summary file and opened it on his desktop.
"Hey, Ryuuzaki, what you think of this?"
Ryuuzaki was at the back of the room arranging his sweets trolley. At Light's question, he came to peer over his shoulder. After a moment, he said, "I think that Kira has killed nineteen people today, and I have a responsibility not to occupy my mind with irrelevancies."
Light put on a concerned expression. "Ryuuzaki, I've never seen you so tense."
"Tense?" Ryuuzaki circled Light's chair to face him. "I'm tense?" He barked the words in a voice so unlike him that Light instinctively rolled his chair back and got to his feet, just as Ryuuzaki lunged for him.
It happened blindingly fast. Ryuuzaki clutched his shirt, then hurled him back. Light grabbed on to Ryuuzaki as he fell, dragging the other man down on top of him. They grappled, Ryuuzaki's weight suffocating Light... suffocating, like being attacked by a choking, invisible something.
In a panic, he flung Ryuuzaki back and scrambled to his feet.
The next thing he knew, Ryuuzaki was standing eight feet away, hunched like a monkey. "Watari is dead," he said quietly.
Damn. Pull yourself together, Light reminded himself. "I know. And it hurts me too." Sound sincere, sound reasonable. "Not in the way it hurts you, of course. I didn't know Watari-san well. And I confess for a moment, I forgot. I shouldn't have spoken to you like it was an ordinary day at the office. I should have been more considerate. I'm very sorry." He bowed.
"For a moment." Ryuuzaki's eyes were blank as coal. "It would be a miracle if for a moment you remembered."
"Ryuuzaki, please consider the possibility that I am not the one who-"
"Light, it would be so easy," Ryuuzaki's whisper cut him off.
Light swallowed. It was a very bad sign when Ryuuzaki dropped even the pretense of respect for "Light-kun."
For a moment more, Ryuuzaki stared at Light. Then he crossed to the room's safe and deftly disarmed its alarm systems.
Light felt his stomach churn.
There it was, in Ryuuzaki's hand: a Death Note--Rem's Death Note--and a pen. He fixed his eyes on Light again. "I know your name."
Would it work? Ryuuk was supposed to write his name. But if Ryuuk wrote that he died by Ryuuzaki's hand...? Light tensed, ready to pounce. He could reach Ryuuzaki before the characters were completed. "The cameras are running. You'd be arrested for murder."
Ryuuzaki raised an eyebrow, as if to say, You think I care?
Seconds ticked by.
Then, abruptly, he thrust the Death Note back into the safe and brandished his pen at Light. "That is not why."
Light gasped in relief. "No. You're too good a man to risk killing an innocent."
"That is certainly not why either." With Ryuuzaki strode to the back of the room, grabbed a cake box, and stormed out.
Light shuddered. He's unhinged. Just contemplate L unhinged. I have to get rid of him soon. While I dare.
***
When the inevitable knock came, L opened his door with a leaden hand.
Hard-faced, Yagami-san came in and closed the door behind him. "Ryuuzaki, the security cameras in the computer room-"
"Yes, Yagami-san."
Yagami-san looked past him. "I know I hardly need to remind you of how many regulations you broke by... accessing that notebook."
"Yes, Yagami-san." L put his hands in his pockets and waited for the lecture that was certainly no more than he deserved.
"I'm well aware of your suspicions about Light, and, of course, Watari's death is a grave loss. Given those factors, your behavior toward Light is, perhaps, understandable-but all the more reason for you to consider--" Yagami-san took a breath "--consider taking a leave of absence."
"No."
"If necessary, Ryuuzaki, I could file a report."
"Yagami-san, my behavior was inappropriate and will not be repeated. You can file a report if you wish, but you'll find that won't remove me." L was 63 percent sure he could play on his reputation to remain on the case. He pitched his voice at closer to 95 percent.
Yagami-san stared at him hard. "If I learn of any other act of aggression-anything-"
"You won't, I assure you."
Yagami-san sighed and nodded, heading for the door. "I'm sorry about Watari. I liked him."
L made no response.
"But we can't tamper with things like that... not even to make a point."
"Yes, Yagami-san." L heard the door click open and shut. If only Light were as smart as his father, or the father half as smart as his son.
***
Through a simple set of code words they'd established, Light instructed Misa to hide the Death Note but not discard it; he needed her to keep the eyes. So the Death Note was safe when they locked her up three days after Rem's attack. But blindfolded, she'd had no chance to look at Ryuuzaki.
Light hadn't even tried to get her one. Was he that off his game? Well, in fairness, it wasn't that he hadn't tried; there had simply been no opportunity to get past Misa's blindfold without arousing suspicion. He'd have to be patient, keep ranting about how inhumane it was to imprison and blindfold her like that. He might even be able to leverage international human rights law to get the blindfold off.
Light needed to pick up Misa's Death Note... but couldn't because of spirits that Asuka had failed to dispel from around the hotel. She claimed she had trouble finding the spirit that led them. Light found that about as likely as the notion that she cared about protecting him.
Still, he had no excuse to object when she called in a ghost-hunting friend to help out. Or to be more precise, he had no chance to object because she managed to obtain Ryuuzaki's permission before Light officially heard about it.
Light was in a holding pattern, waiting for L to remark that no new criminals were dying since Misa's arrest. That meant Misa was the Second Kira-stupid to pretend it didn't. It could be worse though. It didn't mean Light was Kira: at best it suggested that Misa thought he was-and why shouldn't she after the way Ryuuzaki kept harping on it? That was line he intended to adopt.
Meanwhile, if he was stuck here under L's observation, at least he could observe L back. When Asuka's friend arrived, Light made a point of informing Ryuuzaki himself so that he could watch his reaction. Did Ryuuzaki know the man? Were they in league?
Light tracked him down in Watari's room, packing boxes. Ryuuzaki had been expecting him: he'd even put on a song for him. It was a parody in English, jangling merrily away:
He was a prepubescent flying ace,
And the minute Jabba started off that race,
Well, I knew who would win first place:
Oh yes, it was our boy.
And we were singing:
My, my, this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later.
Now he's just a small fry...
Had that CD belonged to Watari?
Light liked Ryuuzaki's dig at him; it was cute. He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. "Are you planning to throw me into a volcano?"
Ryuuzaki looked up from the box he was packing. "Point me to the nearest one."
It made Light smile. "Asuka's colleague is here."
L stood. "What's your assessment?"
"Of him? I haven't met him. I delayed that gratification so we could experience it together."
Light wasn't sure why said that, and perhaps Ryuuzaki wasn't either because he gave Light a long, blank stare, then walked past him without a word.
The man waiting for them in Asuka's room looked every inch a police inspector. Well, no, Light corrected himself: his suit was too expensive. He was tall, blockish man, maybe forty-five. When Ryuuzaki and Light came in, he rose from conversation with Asuka and introduced himself-business card and all-as Tachibana Yoshiaki, a monk the same temple Asuka worked for.
The brief conference that followed was slightly revealing but no practical help.
"We need to trace the source of the spirit who's guiding the others," said Asuka. "Long story short, it takes a certain kind of spiritual talent that isn't our forte, but together, we shouldn't find it too tricky."
Light put on his open-and-curious expression. "So this spirit: how exactly is it honing in on me? I mean, what makes it think I'm Kira?" He'd asked this before, of course. But maybe Tachibana would prove less evasive than his colleague.
"Well, obviously it knows you; it saw you and followed you." Asuka leaned back in her chair, arms folded.
"But it doesn't know me-I'm not Kira."
"What she meant was it thinks it knows you," Tachibana put in.
Asuka threw him a wry smile.
"Knows me how?" asked Light.
Tachibana folded his hands, looking professorial. "Perhaps by the feel of your soul, or by sight."
"Well, that it explains it," Light grinned. "I just look like someone it thinks is Kira." It's Misora or Penbar. Someone who knew me by sight, knew where my home was. Either of them could have followed me here from home. But Penbar was stupid-so Misora probably. Frustrating to know who was out to get him and not be able to tell the people who were-purportedly-here to prevent her.
"Whatever the case," said Tachibana, "we'll find this spirit and exorcise it; the others shouldn't be a problem to eliminate."
Light pinned them with his brightest smile. "Thank you so much. As much as it sucks to have spirits mistaking me for a mass murderer, I'm truly lucky to have the two of you looking out for me."
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ryuuzaki studying him with a heavy, unblinking gaze. He hadn't said a word during the interview.
***
It was time to stop fooling around. If he was going to avoid both arrest and vigilante spirits, Light needed Ryuuzaki gone and these ghost-hunters where he could keep an eye on them. He spent the afternoon developing plans for smuggling Ryuuzaki's picture to Misa. Then, he snuck a couple of hidden cameras and bugs in Asuka's room. He didn't bother to be too secretive; if he was caught, he could claim legitimate security precautions. He could also make a decent case that he deserved more open information on this spirit situation-and that was, indeed, what he wanted. That, and insight into these ghost-hunters' intentions toward Kira.
When Asuka and Tachibana returned late in the afternoon, Light watched them in his own room from his laptop.
Asuka flopped in a chair. "That was some really crappy tracking. She did it so much better than you."
Perhaps they were doing some real "source tracing." The idea comforted Light marginally.
Tachibana went straight to the room's coffee maker. "Yeah, I miss her too. She did it much better than you too."
Asuka yawned.
"Coffee?"
"Yoshi-chan, 60 thousand times those vengeful spirits couldn't force feed me caffeine tonight. I'm sleepy, and I'm going to sleep."
"'Yoshi-chan'?" Tachibana grinned.
"This room is probably bugged, you know."
It's not his real name. "Yoshiaki" was his name though. Light's background check had revealed an entirely stable identity back to the man's birth: the son of the priest of the temple he still worked at.
"It's decaffeinated."
"No, seriously. Not tonight."
Tachibana peered at Asuka, slumped in her chair. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah." She yawned again.
They lapsed into silence while the coffee machine gurgled.
Tachibana poured himself a cup. "I was going to suggest we go out for dinner, but I can call room service."
"I think I lost a piece of my soul."
Tachibana turned to her sharply, then, coming to her side, sank into the chair next to hers and stared at her with a deep frown.
She laughed. "Just a piece, just a crack when I rammed into Ryuuzaki's soul." She patted his head. "Hey, we've been through worse, right?"
Tachibana gave a strange half-smile. "That's not saying much. You're sure you're all right?"
She rubbed her eyes. "Just tired."
Tachibana sipped his coffee. "Do you believe the boy is Kira?"
"It would be extremely weird for a spirit to be that certain and have the wrong person."
"I don't know; spirits can misled."
Asuka curled her feet up in her chair, a little too like Ryuuzaki. She rested her head in her hands. "Ryuuzaki believes it. He... suggested I should let the spirits have him."
Anger lanced through Light.
Oh, he did, did he? Whatever happened to due process? But Light shouldn't be surprised. They were enemies; they were nemeses. I will kill you, L, before you kill me.
He steadied himself with a couple of breaths and picked up the thread of the conversation.
"... be smart enough," Tachibana was saying.
"And what does the brat think?" asked Asuka with a smile.
Tachibana smiled too. "That he's a little preppy punk who deserves to choke on his silver spoon."
Light frowned. Who's this "brat" passing judgment on me?
"That's what he's whispering in your head, huh?" Asuka chuckled. "Or maybe he's just bitter because he was a born loser."
Tachibana sighed. "You're such a bastard."
"Well, we all were really--losers, I mean," she said soberly: "That's why he chose us. That's why we'll never be like Kira."
"I know. Let's not talk about it."
For a minute or so, Tachibana drank his coffee, while Asuka looked close to nodding off in her chair.
"Hey," she said finally, "Did you notice him: Ryuuzaki?"
Light went still, attention riveted on his screen.
Tachibana took another sip of coffee thoughtfully. "I noticed... something. He has a strong presence."
"It's a Shinigami presence."
That rumor was all over the hotel. But why was Asuka hammering on it now? Why wouldn't she have told her colleague before, if it was so important to her? Well, she had told him, obviously-or else chosen not to so she could put on this show. Either way, it was a setup. Perhaps she guessed Light was watching them. She wanted him to hear...
"It's the same as the Shinigami that was here," she went on, "the one that turned to sand."
Tachibana sat forward. "You just forgot to mention this?"
"I didn't want to say it in front of the spirits."
Oh, come on.
Tachibana shook his head as if baffled. His show of confusion suggested he wasn't in on her maneuver-either that or he was playing his part very well. "But he's not a Shinigami," he said. "So what is he?"
"I don't know. A Shinigami possessor? But amnesiac; I'm pretty sure of that. Or a human infected by Shinigami energy?" She paused. "Physically, he's human, if I'm any judge."
Possessed by a Shinigami: did she mean he was a Shinigami soul that didn't remember being one? Why would Asuka find that germane to Light?
"But what does that mean," Tachibana was saying. "How would that affect his role in this?"
"Dunno." Asuka yawned once more. "But if he is one-or he was one-here's a question? Where's his Death Note?"
Ah.
"All Shinigami have one?"
"That's what they tell me."
"He could have given it away, lost it, destroyed it..."
"Yeah, yeah. Look, I've got to go to bed before I tumble off this chair." She yawned again, vastly, and stood up.
That was the bait, right there. She wants me to incriminate myself by making a play for Ryuuzaki's Death Note. Silly. I could ask the "Shinigami" about his Death Note out of plain curiosity; it doesn't mean I'm Kira.
But after this, Light wouldn't ask. Or only very judiciously.
"Should I stay?" Tachibana asked.
"Sure. Why not?"
Light sat back and stopped listening but kept the computer on in case they said something interesting. But it looked like they were just going to crash. There probably wouldn't even be sex. Not that he got off on voyeurism.
It was a clumsy trap.
Probably.
But trap or not, if it were true-and it just might be-if Ryuuzaki were somehow connected to the Shinigami, whether he knew it or not... if Ryuuzaki were allied with the death gods, surely he'd have to have some sympathy somewhere for the idea that killing was a legitimate task. To bring death would be his nature, if Light could tap it.
For the first time in what felt like decades, Light felt his heart jump with... something.... Hope?
***
[MoB]
It was a bit like catching a cold, Nagahide reflected: hot and chilled, tired and dizzy. But this illness struck in a different place, in that part where the soul flowed like a second bloodstream. Still, once he was in bed with the lights off, his lassitude calmed him; Naoe's warmth barely touching his back soothed him more.
Nagahide hoped Ryuuzaki got the message. It seemed like he had everyone under surveillance: why shouldn't he be monitoring them? Nagahide couldn't ask him about his Death Note directly: it would look like Nagahide was probing to get the notebook for himself. But if he planted the seed in Ryuuzaki's mind...
There was no doubt the detective was Shinigami soul, so he must have had a Death Note. They needed it accounted for. Lying around, who knew where, it was just one more murder-fest waiting to happen. Just one more...
... one more... what?
Nagahide blinked. His mind was slipping toward sleep.
Naoe learned over him in the dark, running gentle fingers through his hair, worrying, no doubt, about the wound to Nagahide's soul. Naoe shouldn't have to confront that sort of thing again. Nagahide hadn't wanted to tell him, but he would have noticed it soon enough.
Naoe settled back on his pillow, pulling Nagahide close in his arms. Just like I told Ryuuzaki.
Nagahide squeezed Naoe's arm. "Thanks for coming."
Naoe didn't answer. What could he say? Of course, he came. They were the last two left. At length, Naoe said, "You didn't have to save him."
"You noticed that, huh?" Duty called them to exorcise vengeful spirits, but pushing Ryuuzaki's soul back into his body had been sheer instinct-and a sort of desperation.
Thankfully, Naoe didn't say any more. Nagahide didn't like to admit he liked people. He didn't like to like them-not unless it purely superficial or else one of the old, old bonds. The former was harmless, the latter necessary. But in the middle came a lot of complicated crap that led nowhere good... led to losing bits of soul. And yet sometimes he needed someone else. It had always been, and it remained, stupid to invest too much in Naoe. The Naoetora was an inward creature: it loved Nagahide with both its souls but not nearly as much as it loved itself.
Nagahide missed Irobe. But lately he missed Haruie more, missed having someone else who understood how it could hurt on to be on the outside. He remembered her one day, bursting into a Dutch song in memory of her Shintaro-san. How had it gone? He could only reconstruct one line.
He turned a little toward Naoe and said carefully, "Wat ik heb zal ik je geven als je blijft." What I have I'll give to you when you stay.
After a second, Naoe said, "We're speaking Dutch now?"
"It was something Har-Ayako once said when-no-that she was thinking was like her doctor once said to her. That's all."
"I'll stay," said Naoe, misunderstanding.
"I know you'll stay." Nagahide still thought it was ridiculous, Naoe's vow to continue his possessor life as long as he held any vestige of Kagetora's soul.
Naoe and Nagahide had struck a different deal. Nagahide wouldn't stay forever-what's forever?-but as long as he stayed, Naoe would give what he had to give: that measure of love and loyalty the Naoetora didn't feed to itself. It wasn't negligible. Naoe was here after all, needing him as he needed Naoe... because even the most self-sufficient souls shrivel unnourished by others.
Like this. Eyelids drooping, he drifted in his friend's embrace.
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4: Lies and Half-Lies
A/N: This chapter is weird and filled with damage control for plot points I didn't work out well in previous chapters. I'm off MoB canon at several points: about 3 I've been informed of and doubtless others I'm oblivious to. You might assume this is a mild AU or, where possible, that some things have evolved over 15-odd years. Dutch song, "Zon bij Nacht" by De Kast, to whom much appreciation. PG-13?
[DN]
I'll have to kill him again. Light felt vaguely sick.
He hadn't planned for Rem's attack to fail. That was his crucial mistake. In the mayhem surrounding Ryuuzaki's collapse, then Asuka's collapse and Ryuuzaki's resurrection, he hadn't even managed to get to Rem's remains in time to seize her Death Note. Matsuda-Matsuda of all people-had beaten him to it and handed the book over to police custody.
So once again, Light was thrown back on Misa. A debacle.
No. A setback. All he had to do was pull himself together.
So sitting in the investigation room, he sat up straight and monitored Kira's latest activity. Misa had no imagination. She killed some people Light would have spared, overlooked others who demanded speedy punishment, but her failings were comparatively minor. In the main, she was doing what he asked.
But since Ryuuzaki was still alive-alive and plainly out for blood-she wouldn't be allowed to keep it up much longer.
Light would deal with that. Misa would be called in for interrogation, and Light would contrive to get her in a line of sight with Ryuuzaki and see his name, and pass it on to Light. And Light would kill him with the scrap of the Death Note in his watch. Of course, even their rather dull coworkers would assume that Misa was the Second Kira if Ryuuzaki died after she saw him, but Light could negotiate that. He could contrive it so she saw him without anyone knowing... or replay the "it's unconscious" card. There were ways.
He'd make it work.
He'd kill L.
He had to. I will win. I always do. Kira is the god of this world, and God is the ultimate victor. You can't evade me forever, Ryuuzaki.
Light would kill him.
He'd kill the only person who'd ever made his life interesting.
He'd do it again. He'd make himself do it. He didn't have to enjoy it. He'd do it the way a fox in a trap gnaws off its leg.
Because Kira had to survive.
And because Kira had to survive, Light had to sacrifice Ryuuzaki. When had it all clicked into this different kind of focus?
Light had to sacrifice...
... had to sacrifice himself. No more L. No one left to talk to, to understand him. No one ever, for the rest of his life probably. Year after year...
Yagami Light in exchange for Kira. It wasn't a good trade, but it was the only acceptable possibility.
Light knew he'd picked up the Death Note for selfish reasons: because he was bored. In a weird sort of way, he'd thought the Death Note would make him happy.
That was a child's dream.
Light was going to spend his life miserable. He would to marry Misa, join the police force, devote his career to the tightrope walk of pretending to try to capture himself. He'd lie every day of his life about everything, to everyone-accept Misa, who was too stupid to understand, and Ryuuk, who didn't care. Maybe he'd spend the rest of his life hiding out from vengeful spirits. Soon, he'd add to them spirit of the only person whose company he exhilarated him because Kira needed that man dead.
That realization brought a kind of peace. He felt... resigned now that he thought about it. The Existentialists argued that despair was a good thing: an acceptance of reality and moving forward without false hope. Despair let you accomplish what you could.
Kira could accomplish anything.
Light-for himself-would accomplish nothing. Once you accepted it, it wasn't that bad.
He leaned his head on his hand tired, no longer looking at the computer. Matsuda (of all people) asked him if he was all right, and he made the appropriate noises in response.
He had to plan. Yes, Kira could accomplish anything once his roadblocks were removed. But Ryuuzaki was not his only impediment. Asuka was a wildcard. No doubt, Ryuuzaki was with her now, trying to convince her Light was evil and didn't deserve her protection. And if she agreed? Or if she saved Ryuuzaki again? Or if she didn't have the skill or power-or the will-to eliminate the spirits that were after him?
The first step to controlling her was to learn all that he could. Turning again to the computer, he went to work.
An hour later, Ryuuzaki came in. The air tautened. But they exchanged no words and went about their business, even after Matsuda retired for the night, leaving the two of them alone.
Light did his best to put Ryuuzaki out of his mind and focus on Asuka. With the investigation's resources, it was easy to track down her real identity: Kobayashi Saori. Strange she'd bothered to change her given name but not her surname.
Stranger still the sharp bend her life had taken in the year 2000. Kobayashi Saori had held a low-end data-entry job and been hospitalized several times for depression. Then, within a month, she quit her job, changed her name, and became the "administrative assistant" she remained to this day. Her records showed no further sign of mental illness.
Maybe she'd had a life-altering experience. Maybe she'd seen her first ghost.
Well, as long as Ryuuzaki was still here, Light might as well probe his attitude toward her. So he assembled the Kobayashi information in a summary file and opened it on his desktop.
"Hey, Ryuuzaki, what you think of this?"
Ryuuzaki was at the back of the room arranging his sweets trolley. At Light's question, he came to peer over his shoulder. After a moment, he said, "I think that Kira has killed nineteen people today, and I have a responsibility not to occupy my mind with irrelevancies."
Light put on a concerned expression. "Ryuuzaki, I've never seen you so tense."
"Tense?" Ryuuzaki circled Light's chair to face him. "I'm tense?" He barked the words in a voice so unlike him that Light instinctively rolled his chair back and got to his feet, just as Ryuuzaki lunged for him.
It happened blindingly fast. Ryuuzaki clutched his shirt, then hurled him back. Light grabbed on to Ryuuzaki as he fell, dragging the other man down on top of him. They grappled, Ryuuzaki's weight suffocating Light... suffocating, like being attacked by a choking, invisible something.
In a panic, he flung Ryuuzaki back and scrambled to his feet.
The next thing he knew, Ryuuzaki was standing eight feet away, hunched like a monkey. "Watari is dead," he said quietly.
Damn. Pull yourself together, Light reminded himself. "I know. And it hurts me too." Sound sincere, sound reasonable. "Not in the way it hurts you, of course. I didn't know Watari-san well. And I confess for a moment, I forgot. I shouldn't have spoken to you like it was an ordinary day at the office. I should have been more considerate. I'm very sorry." He bowed.
"For a moment." Ryuuzaki's eyes were blank as coal. "It would be a miracle if for a moment you remembered."
"Ryuuzaki, please consider the possibility that I am not the one who-"
"Light, it would be so easy," Ryuuzaki's whisper cut him off.
Light swallowed. It was a very bad sign when Ryuuzaki dropped even the pretense of respect for "Light-kun."
For a moment more, Ryuuzaki stared at Light. Then he crossed to the room's safe and deftly disarmed its alarm systems.
Light felt his stomach churn.
There it was, in Ryuuzaki's hand: a Death Note--Rem's Death Note--and a pen. He fixed his eyes on Light again. "I know your name."
Would it work? Ryuuk was supposed to write his name. But if Ryuuk wrote that he died by Ryuuzaki's hand...? Light tensed, ready to pounce. He could reach Ryuuzaki before the characters were completed. "The cameras are running. You'd be arrested for murder."
Ryuuzaki raised an eyebrow, as if to say, You think I care?
Seconds ticked by.
Then, abruptly, he thrust the Death Note back into the safe and brandished his pen at Light. "That is not why."
Light gasped in relief. "No. You're too good a man to risk killing an innocent."
"That is certainly not why either." With Ryuuzaki strode to the back of the room, grabbed a cake box, and stormed out.
Light shuddered. He's unhinged. Just contemplate L unhinged. I have to get rid of him soon. While I dare.
***
When the inevitable knock came, L opened his door with a leaden hand.
Hard-faced, Yagami-san came in and closed the door behind him. "Ryuuzaki, the security cameras in the computer room-"
"Yes, Yagami-san."
Yagami-san looked past him. "I know I hardly need to remind you of how many regulations you broke by... accessing that notebook."
"Yes, Yagami-san." L put his hands in his pockets and waited for the lecture that was certainly no more than he deserved.
"I'm well aware of your suspicions about Light, and, of course, Watari's death is a grave loss. Given those factors, your behavior toward Light is, perhaps, understandable-but all the more reason for you to consider--" Yagami-san took a breath "--consider taking a leave of absence."
"No."
"If necessary, Ryuuzaki, I could file a report."
"Yagami-san, my behavior was inappropriate and will not be repeated. You can file a report if you wish, but you'll find that won't remove me." L was 63 percent sure he could play on his reputation to remain on the case. He pitched his voice at closer to 95 percent.
Yagami-san stared at him hard. "If I learn of any other act of aggression-anything-"
"You won't, I assure you."
Yagami-san sighed and nodded, heading for the door. "I'm sorry about Watari. I liked him."
L made no response.
"But we can't tamper with things like that... not even to make a point."
"Yes, Yagami-san." L heard the door click open and shut. If only Light were as smart as his father, or the father half as smart as his son.
***
Through a simple set of code words they'd established, Light instructed Misa to hide the Death Note but not discard it; he needed her to keep the eyes. So the Death Note was safe when they locked her up three days after Rem's attack. But blindfolded, she'd had no chance to look at Ryuuzaki.
Light hadn't even tried to get her one. Was he that off his game? Well, in fairness, it wasn't that he hadn't tried; there had simply been no opportunity to get past Misa's blindfold without arousing suspicion. He'd have to be patient, keep ranting about how inhumane it was to imprison and blindfold her like that. He might even be able to leverage international human rights law to get the blindfold off.
Light needed to pick up Misa's Death Note... but couldn't because of spirits that Asuka had failed to dispel from around the hotel. She claimed she had trouble finding the spirit that led them. Light found that about as likely as the notion that she cared about protecting him.
Still, he had no excuse to object when she called in a ghost-hunting friend to help out. Or to be more precise, he had no chance to object because she managed to obtain Ryuuzaki's permission before Light officially heard about it.
Light was in a holding pattern, waiting for L to remark that no new criminals were dying since Misa's arrest. That meant Misa was the Second Kira-stupid to pretend it didn't. It could be worse though. It didn't mean Light was Kira: at best it suggested that Misa thought he was-and why shouldn't she after the way Ryuuzaki kept harping on it? That was line he intended to adopt.
Meanwhile, if he was stuck here under L's observation, at least he could observe L back. When Asuka's friend arrived, Light made a point of informing Ryuuzaki himself so that he could watch his reaction. Did Ryuuzaki know the man? Were they in league?
Light tracked him down in Watari's room, packing boxes. Ryuuzaki had been expecting him: he'd even put on a song for him. It was a parody in English, jangling merrily away:
He was a prepubescent flying ace,
And the minute Jabba started off that race,
Well, I knew who would win first place:
Oh yes, it was our boy.
And we were singing:
My, my, this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later.
Now he's just a small fry...
Had that CD belonged to Watari?
Light liked Ryuuzaki's dig at him; it was cute. He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. "Are you planning to throw me into a volcano?"
Ryuuzaki looked up from the box he was packing. "Point me to the nearest one."
It made Light smile. "Asuka's colleague is here."
L stood. "What's your assessment?"
"Of him? I haven't met him. I delayed that gratification so we could experience it together."
Light wasn't sure why said that, and perhaps Ryuuzaki wasn't either because he gave Light a long, blank stare, then walked past him without a word.
The man waiting for them in Asuka's room looked every inch a police inspector. Well, no, Light corrected himself: his suit was too expensive. He was tall, blockish man, maybe forty-five. When Ryuuzaki and Light came in, he rose from conversation with Asuka and introduced himself-business card and all-as Tachibana Yoshiaki, a monk the same temple Asuka worked for.
The brief conference that followed was slightly revealing but no practical help.
"We need to trace the source of the spirit who's guiding the others," said Asuka. "Long story short, it takes a certain kind of spiritual talent that isn't our forte, but together, we shouldn't find it too tricky."
Light put on his open-and-curious expression. "So this spirit: how exactly is it honing in on me? I mean, what makes it think I'm Kira?" He'd asked this before, of course. But maybe Tachibana would prove less evasive than his colleague.
"Well, obviously it knows you; it saw you and followed you." Asuka leaned back in her chair, arms folded.
"But it doesn't know me-I'm not Kira."
"What she meant was it thinks it knows you," Tachibana put in.
Asuka threw him a wry smile.
"Knows me how?" asked Light.
Tachibana folded his hands, looking professorial. "Perhaps by the feel of your soul, or by sight."
"Well, that it explains it," Light grinned. "I just look like someone it thinks is Kira." It's Misora or Penbar. Someone who knew me by sight, knew where my home was. Either of them could have followed me here from home. But Penbar was stupid-so Misora probably. Frustrating to know who was out to get him and not be able to tell the people who were-purportedly-here to prevent her.
"Whatever the case," said Tachibana, "we'll find this spirit and exorcise it; the others shouldn't be a problem to eliminate."
Light pinned them with his brightest smile. "Thank you so much. As much as it sucks to have spirits mistaking me for a mass murderer, I'm truly lucky to have the two of you looking out for me."
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ryuuzaki studying him with a heavy, unblinking gaze. He hadn't said a word during the interview.
***
It was time to stop fooling around. If he was going to avoid both arrest and vigilante spirits, Light needed Ryuuzaki gone and these ghost-hunters where he could keep an eye on them. He spent the afternoon developing plans for smuggling Ryuuzaki's picture to Misa. Then, he snuck a couple of hidden cameras and bugs in Asuka's room. He didn't bother to be too secretive; if he was caught, he could claim legitimate security precautions. He could also make a decent case that he deserved more open information on this spirit situation-and that was, indeed, what he wanted. That, and insight into these ghost-hunters' intentions toward Kira.
When Asuka and Tachibana returned late in the afternoon, Light watched them in his own room from his laptop.
Asuka flopped in a chair. "That was some really crappy tracking. She did it so much better than you."
Perhaps they were doing some real "source tracing." The idea comforted Light marginally.
Tachibana went straight to the room's coffee maker. "Yeah, I miss her too. She did it much better than you too."
Asuka yawned.
"Coffee?"
"Yoshi-chan, 60 thousand times those vengeful spirits couldn't force feed me caffeine tonight. I'm sleepy, and I'm going to sleep."
"'Yoshi-chan'?" Tachibana grinned.
"This room is probably bugged, you know."
It's not his real name. "Yoshiaki" was his name though. Light's background check had revealed an entirely stable identity back to the man's birth: the son of the priest of the temple he still worked at.
"It's decaffeinated."
"No, seriously. Not tonight."
Tachibana peered at Asuka, slumped in her chair. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah." She yawned again.
They lapsed into silence while the coffee machine gurgled.
Tachibana poured himself a cup. "I was going to suggest we go out for dinner, but I can call room service."
"I think I lost a piece of my soul."
Tachibana turned to her sharply, then, coming to her side, sank into the chair next to hers and stared at her with a deep frown.
She laughed. "Just a piece, just a crack when I rammed into Ryuuzaki's soul." She patted his head. "Hey, we've been through worse, right?"
Tachibana gave a strange half-smile. "That's not saying much. You're sure you're all right?"
She rubbed her eyes. "Just tired."
Tachibana sipped his coffee. "Do you believe the boy is Kira?"
"It would be extremely weird for a spirit to be that certain and have the wrong person."
"I don't know; spirits can misled."
Asuka curled her feet up in her chair, a little too like Ryuuzaki. She rested her head in her hands. "Ryuuzaki believes it. He... suggested I should let the spirits have him."
Anger lanced through Light.
Oh, he did, did he? Whatever happened to due process? But Light shouldn't be surprised. They were enemies; they were nemeses. I will kill you, L, before you kill me.
He steadied himself with a couple of breaths and picked up the thread of the conversation.
"... be smart enough," Tachibana was saying.
"And what does the brat think?" asked Asuka with a smile.
Tachibana smiled too. "That he's a little preppy punk who deserves to choke on his silver spoon."
Light frowned. Who's this "brat" passing judgment on me?
"That's what he's whispering in your head, huh?" Asuka chuckled. "Or maybe he's just bitter because he was a born loser."
Tachibana sighed. "You're such a bastard."
"Well, we all were really--losers, I mean," she said soberly: "That's why he chose us. That's why we'll never be like Kira."
"I know. Let's not talk about it."
For a minute or so, Tachibana drank his coffee, while Asuka looked close to nodding off in her chair.
"Hey," she said finally, "Did you notice him: Ryuuzaki?"
Light went still, attention riveted on his screen.
Tachibana took another sip of coffee thoughtfully. "I noticed... something. He has a strong presence."
"It's a Shinigami presence."
That rumor was all over the hotel. But why was Asuka hammering on it now? Why wouldn't she have told her colleague before, if it was so important to her? Well, she had told him, obviously-or else chosen not to so she could put on this show. Either way, it was a setup. Perhaps she guessed Light was watching them. She wanted him to hear...
"It's the same as the Shinigami that was here," she went on, "the one that turned to sand."
Tachibana sat forward. "You just forgot to mention this?"
"I didn't want to say it in front of the spirits."
Oh, come on.
Tachibana shook his head as if baffled. His show of confusion suggested he wasn't in on her maneuver-either that or he was playing his part very well. "But he's not a Shinigami," he said. "So what is he?"
"I don't know. A Shinigami possessor? But amnesiac; I'm pretty sure of that. Or a human infected by Shinigami energy?" She paused. "Physically, he's human, if I'm any judge."
Possessed by a Shinigami: did she mean he was a Shinigami soul that didn't remember being one? Why would Asuka find that germane to Light?
"But what does that mean," Tachibana was saying. "How would that affect his role in this?"
"Dunno." Asuka yawned once more. "But if he is one-or he was one-here's a question? Where's his Death Note?"
Ah.
"All Shinigami have one?"
"That's what they tell me."
"He could have given it away, lost it, destroyed it..."
"Yeah, yeah. Look, I've got to go to bed before I tumble off this chair." She yawned again, vastly, and stood up.
That was the bait, right there. She wants me to incriminate myself by making a play for Ryuuzaki's Death Note. Silly. I could ask the "Shinigami" about his Death Note out of plain curiosity; it doesn't mean I'm Kira.
But after this, Light wouldn't ask. Or only very judiciously.
"Should I stay?" Tachibana asked.
"Sure. Why not?"
Light sat back and stopped listening but kept the computer on in case they said something interesting. But it looked like they were just going to crash. There probably wouldn't even be sex. Not that he got off on voyeurism.
It was a clumsy trap.
Probably.
But trap or not, if it were true-and it just might be-if Ryuuzaki were somehow connected to the Shinigami, whether he knew it or not... if Ryuuzaki were allied with the death gods, surely he'd have to have some sympathy somewhere for the idea that killing was a legitimate task. To bring death would be his nature, if Light could tap it.
For the first time in what felt like decades, Light felt his heart jump with... something.... Hope?
***
[MoB]
It was a bit like catching a cold, Nagahide reflected: hot and chilled, tired and dizzy. But this illness struck in a different place, in that part where the soul flowed like a second bloodstream. Still, once he was in bed with the lights off, his lassitude calmed him; Naoe's warmth barely touching his back soothed him more.
Nagahide hoped Ryuuzaki got the message. It seemed like he had everyone under surveillance: why shouldn't he be monitoring them? Nagahide couldn't ask him about his Death Note directly: it would look like Nagahide was probing to get the notebook for himself. But if he planted the seed in Ryuuzaki's mind...
There was no doubt the detective was Shinigami soul, so he must have had a Death Note. They needed it accounted for. Lying around, who knew where, it was just one more murder-fest waiting to happen. Just one more...
... one more... what?
Nagahide blinked. His mind was slipping toward sleep.
Naoe learned over him in the dark, running gentle fingers through his hair, worrying, no doubt, about the wound to Nagahide's soul. Naoe shouldn't have to confront that sort of thing again. Nagahide hadn't wanted to tell him, but he would have noticed it soon enough.
Naoe settled back on his pillow, pulling Nagahide close in his arms. Just like I told Ryuuzaki.
Nagahide squeezed Naoe's arm. "Thanks for coming."
Naoe didn't answer. What could he say? Of course, he came. They were the last two left. At length, Naoe said, "You didn't have to save him."
"You noticed that, huh?" Duty called them to exorcise vengeful spirits, but pushing Ryuuzaki's soul back into his body had been sheer instinct-and a sort of desperation.
Thankfully, Naoe didn't say any more. Nagahide didn't like to admit he liked people. He didn't like to like them-not unless it purely superficial or else one of the old, old bonds. The former was harmless, the latter necessary. But in the middle came a lot of complicated crap that led nowhere good... led to losing bits of soul. And yet sometimes he needed someone else. It had always been, and it remained, stupid to invest too much in Naoe. The Naoetora was an inward creature: it loved Nagahide with both its souls but not nearly as much as it loved itself.
Nagahide missed Irobe. But lately he missed Haruie more, missed having someone else who understood how it could hurt on to be on the outside. He remembered her one day, bursting into a Dutch song in memory of her Shintaro-san. How had it gone? He could only reconstruct one line.
He turned a little toward Naoe and said carefully, "Wat ik heb zal ik je geven als je blijft." What I have I'll give to you when you stay.
After a second, Naoe said, "We're speaking Dutch now?"
"It was something Har-Ayako once said when-no-that she was thinking was like her doctor once said to her. That's all."
"I'll stay," said Naoe, misunderstanding.
"I know you'll stay." Nagahide still thought it was ridiculous, Naoe's vow to continue his possessor life as long as he held any vestige of Kagetora's soul.
Naoe and Nagahide had struck a different deal. Nagahide wouldn't stay forever-what's forever?-but as long as he stayed, Naoe would give what he had to give: that measure of love and loyalty the Naoetora didn't feed to itself. It wasn't negligible. Naoe was here after all, needing him as he needed Naoe... because even the most self-sufficient souls shrivel unnourished by others.
Like this. Eyelids drooping, he drifted in his friend's embrace.