(Untitled)

[labellementeuse]

dear boy-creature,
this is the poem I am writing to put firmly the distance between us.
I know! you're wondering:
             what do you mean,

between          usthat, my good acquaintance, is precisely the problem

Comments

[disturbed_kiwi]

e.e. cummings would be proud of that one.

You know, I like it, its just direct and descriptive enough for me, but it is one of those sort that make me question what makes a poem poetic. This could just be a very interesting letter rather than 'a poem.'

But I do like it.

So... How much did you draw from life, you saucy thing you?

[labellementeuse]

you flatterer! but, yeah, I did experiment with it a bit - last week in class we were talking about "projective verse" which was the brainchild of this man called Charles Olson - the idea of projective verse is that it uses space as well as line to communicate, and also that the structure of the poem should come directly from the subject matter, not be received from outside like a traditional poem form. It's quite a cool essay he wrote describing it called Projective Verse (there's also a little bit on Wiki about it and him and the school he helped found, the Black Mountain poets).

re: life. Um, er, pretty much all of it? *double checks* ayup, all of it. I hardly ever make stuff up for my poetry, I'm not brainy enough. ;)

*loves*

[angry_in_pink]

Wow. This is wonderful; love the structure, love everything. I know I say this a lot, but you are very talented. Wish I could be a bit more constructive, but I'm not good ayt reviewing stuff.

Re: *loves*

[labellementeuse]

You are so sweet. *hugs you*

[nzlemming]

Nice piece.

Nothing quite as melancholy as recognising that love remains unrequited

[labellementeuse]

Thank you! I admit I was trying for a sort of ironic melancholy so glad it came across. :P

[labellementeuse]

Thank you! And, heh, thank you also. He's definitely a trial to me. ;)