Fic: "Knocked (Up) For a Loop" by kyrdwyn (FRM, Morgan/Reid, Reid/Ethan)
Title: Knocked (Up) For a Loop
Author: kyrdwyn
Rating: FRM
Pairing: Morgan/Reid; Reid/Ethan
Spoilers: "Profiler, Profiled", "Jones", "In Name and Blood"
Betas: sweetsubbie and m_j_ - but any remaining mistakes are mine.
Author's Notes: Written for the badfic2009 challenge. They said "you can try the dreaded mpreg" and my brain went "oh hai! Mpreg!" *headdesk*
Warnings: (1) This goes AU after "In Name and Blood".
(2) This is MPREG fic. Male Pregnancy. If this isn't your cuppa, I wouldn't click on the link.
Summary: Morgan has to deal with hearing some unexpected news.
Two months after Jason Gideon fled the BAU, Derek Morgan came in to find Spencer Reid's desk cleared off, his files stacked neatly on Derek's and Prentiss' desks, and a note resting on top of them. Derek picked up the note and opened it, scanning the few lines inside, then crushed it in his hand.
"He really is on sabbatical," Hotch's voice said behind him. Derek turned. Hotch stood there, coffee in his hand. "This isn't like Gideon."
"But why?"
"It's a personal issue, but he will be back, Morgan. He promised me." Hotch had an odd look on his face, one that worried Derek.
He merely nodded, though, knowing that Hotch wouldn't say anything. Derek would get his answers from Reid.
Reid answered the door, looking more pale than usual, the dark rings under his eyes standing out. "Morgan," he said with a sigh. "I figured you'd stop by." He stood back to let Derek in, and Derek paused in the living room, noticing the packing boxes and empty shelves.
"You moving?" Derek was stunned. Hotch had said that Reid would be returning to he BAU. He hadn't said anything about Reid leaving the area.
He heard Reid shut and lock the door behind him. "Yeah, well, the sabbatical position I'm taking is going to require me to move out of state."
Derek turned to look at Reid. "Why now?" he asked.
Reid shoved a lock of hair behind his ears. "What do you mean?" he asked, not looking at Derek. He grimaced, one hand going to his stomach before he moved toward the kitchen. "You want a drink?"
"No, I want to know what's going on. Gideon takes off, Hotch and Prentiss almost take off on us, now you're taking a sabbatical? Come on, Reid, this isn't just coincidence." A thought occurred to Derek. "Tell me Strauss didn't go after you."
Turning back with a startled expression on his face, Reid shook his head. "No, it's nothing like that. Strauss had nothing to do with my decision."
"Then what is it? Reid, you know you can talk to me. Is it about Gideon?" Though the young man tried to hide it, Derek caught the flash of something that crossed Reid's face. "It is about Gideon."
"Morgan, please," Reid said softly, tiredly. "I just . . . I just need to take some time off, for personal reasons."
"Reid, a week is for personal reasons. A year? Something entirely different." He paused. "Hotch said you promised to come back, but this?" Derek gestured to the apartment. "Doesn't look like you're coming back at all."
Running a hand through his hair, Reid sighed. "It's complicated, Morgan. And I am planning on coming back."
"Right." The way Reid wouldn't meet his eyes had Derek doubting him. "Well, good luck with whatever you're doing. Guess I'll see you in a year. Or at least, you know, drop me a postcard when you decide to admit you're not coming back." He turned toward the door.
"Did you know that there is a rare genetic mutation in .00015% percent of human males that allows them to become pregnant after having unprotected anal intercourse?"
Reid's quavering voice stopped Morgan in his tracks, and he blinked before turning around, knowing his mouth was dropping open. "What?"
"There's a --"
Morgan raised a hand, cutting him off. "I heard you the first time, Reid, but I'm not quite sure --"
"I'm pregnant."
This was what a psychotic break must feel like, Morgan thought. "You're what?"
"Pregnant. Expecting. Knocked up. With child." Reid sighed. "I'm one of the .00015% that has that genetic mutation. And I got careless. Which is why I'm going on sabbatical. Do you know the statistics on male pregnancy? High risk doesn't even begin to describe it. 95% end in miscarriage before the end of the first trimester, the rate of birth defects--"
"Reid!" Morgan interrupted, not wanting to hear the statistics. He had a sick feeling that one of those statistics would be about fatalities of the pregnant male, and he did not want to think about Reid dying from this. "Hold on, presuming this isn't all one massive joke, I can see why you're taking a sabbatical, but why are you moving?" Please let this be one massive joke, he thought, but he was afraid it wasn't, Reid was too serious, and the look he was now giving Morgan - what Garcia had dubbed as Reid's kitten glower - meant that Reid was upset that Morgan even thought of calling his child a joke and God had he really just thought that?
He had to sit down. Fortunately, there was a chair nearby.
"I'm moving because there's only one hospital that specializes in male pregnancy and to ensure the best chance of survival for both myself and the baby I need to be nearby and as soon as possible. I'm already in several high risk categories, and the more time I go without proper medical care and monitoring means the risks increase exponentially."
Morgan ran a hand over his face. "Okay, I get that." He looked around. "Plus you'll need more room when you get back to D.C." Oh God he could not believe he was taking this seriously. But when he looked up at Reid, who was standing there with one hand resting on his stomach, looking almost thoughtful, like most of the other pregnant women Morgan had seen in his life, he could almost believe it.
"Yeah," Reid said absently. "I will."
"So, where's this hospital?"
"Northwestern."
Morgan looked up at that. "In Chicago?" At Reid's nod, Morgan frowned. "Got a place there, yet?"
"I've got a hotel booked for a while, figured I'd look when I get there."
"Look, my mom's got an extra room--"
"Morgan, I can't just move in with your mother! She barely knows me!"
"Tell me staying in a hotel is going to be better for you, then. At least you'll have someone there with you - you said this was high risk, Reid."
Reid looked away. "I don't want anyone to know," he finally said, so softly that Morgan could barely hear it. "It's bad enough that you know, that Hotch knows."
"Hotch knows?"
"I had to tell him. He wouldn't just accept my request for a sabbatical, not this close to Gideon leaving, without a reason."
A thought occurred to Morgan. "Reid, tell me Gideon isn't. . ." he couldn't bring himself to say it, not sure father was the right description.
Reid blinked at him, and then his confusion cleared up. "What? No. God, no, Morgan." Reid shuddered. "Just, no."
Derek wasn't sure why he was so relieved at hearing that denial. Probably because he'd already been planning his own resignation from the FBI so he could track down and dismember Gideon for abandoning Reid at a time like this.
"Look, Reid, even if you stay at that hotel, let me at last just call my mom and tell her what's going on, so you'll have someone available. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone, and if the . . . well, if the other person is out of the picture, then at least having a friendly face around, someone who's been through this before, couldn't be a bad thing for you." Derek looked up at Reid. God, the thought of Reid going through this alone was killing him. Granted, Derek wasn't quite sure what he was going to tell his mom, but he knew she'd smack him if she did find out Reid was living in town and needed help, and Derek hadn't told her.
Reid finally nodded. "All right. I guess. . . I guess it wouldn't be so bad to have a friend there."
"Hey, Reid, you've always got friends here, you know," Derek said.
Reid looked back at him, giving Derek a surprising shy smile. "I know," he said softly.
Derek forced himself to look away from that smile, surprised by the emotions it was turning up. "So, let me help you pack. You shouldn't be lifting all this by yourself right now, I would have thought a genius like you would have known that," he chided gently as he stood.
Reid laughed, and Derek smiled as he picked up books and started packing them.
"Is he always this stubborn?"
Derek blinked at his mother's frustrated voice when he answered the phone. "Hi, Momma," he said, glancing at Garcia, who grinned brightly at him. "Nice to hear from you." He moved away from Garcia's domain, not wanting her to hear this conversation if it went the way he thought it would. "And yeah, Reid is stubborn to a fault, why?"
"He's insisting on staying in that hotel. I have a perfectly good spare room here for him, and he won't accept it."
Derek chuckled. He had a feeling his mom would be after Reid to move in with her. If she couldn't fuss over her son, one of his friends - and a pregnant one at that - would be fair game.
"He's embarrassed, Momma. I think he likes the anonymity in the hotel. It can't be easy for him to deal with."
"It's not healthy for him to be staying there. He definitely isn't eating enough."
"He never does. Even before this. You saw how skinny he was before."
Fran Morgan sighed through the phone. "I know, baby, but he isn't the only person he needs to take care of right now."
"I know, Momma. And he knows that, too."
"So talk to him, Derek. He needs better care. They need better care."
"That's why he's staying near the hospital." He could hear his mother's glare over the wires. "All right, all right, I'll talk to him."
"Good." Fran paused. "Derek, you're not the --"
"I'm not, Momma. I don't know who is. Reid didn't tell me. I don't think the other person's in the picture anymore."
"Well, he's lucky to have a friend like you."
Derek smiled. "I'm lucky too. He's a good friend."
Fran hummed. "So, when are you coming to visit him then?"
"When I can get away from the job. Definitely for your birthday."
"Good. I love you, Derek."
"Love you too, Momma."
"He's fine, Derek."
"Sarah, Momma had to rush him to the hospital!" Derek ran a hand over his head, trying to keep his voice down. They were in rural Iowa, looking for a serial killer, and he didn't want the team or the local police to hear his conversation. Sure, Hotch knew the truth about Reid's condition, but Prentiss, JJ, Rossi, and Todd were in the dark, and it wasn't Derek's secret to tell. Even if he was agitated over Reid being taken to the ER after having some sort of issue - his mother hadn't left the details on Derek's voice mail, preoccupied as she was over Reid.
"The doctors say he's fine, there's no damage to him or the baby. He fell, Derek, nothing major. I know, Momma made it sound like the world was ending, but she's being overly cautious. I can't say I blame her. That boy needs looking after. Thank God she finally browbeat him into moving in with her. I think she was planning on moving into that hotel he was staying in if he didn't."
Derek sighed in relief. "You're sure he's all right?"
"He's fine. I saw him myself." She blew out an exasperated breath. "Are you sure you're not the other one here? Because you're acting like it."
"I'm just concerned for a friend." Why does everyone think I'm sleeping with Reid? Derek wondered.
"Uh-huh. Look, the doctors are going to release him tomorrow. You should come to Chicago when you're done with your case, see him for yourself."
"If I can, I will. If not, I'm still coming for Momma's birthday."
"Good. He'll be happy to see you." Sarah hung up, and Derek closed his phone, letting out a sigh of relief.
"Everything all right?" Hotch asked from behind him. Derek turned, meeting Hotch's concerned gaze. He glanced around, but none of the others were near.
"Medical scare, but he's fine now."
Hotch nodded. "Good." His face was impassive, but the relief in his eyes was easy for Derek to see. Hotch was almost as worried about Reid as he was. "We've got a lead. I want you and Rossi to head over and check it out."
"Will do."
Getting home from another grueling case, Derek smiled as he opened his mailbox and found several letters from Reid in it. He opened them, reading the younger man's account of life with Derek's mother and sisters, laughing as he recognized parts of his own life - his mother was treating Reid like her own child.
The last one was thicker, and along with the sheets of notebook paper were several sonogram pictures. Derek sat down heavily in one if his kitchen chairs, looking over the pictures, taking in the size, the positioning, the way the baby looked as if he or she were sucking his or her thumb in the last one. There was a sticky note on the back, the handwriting in Reid's scrawl. "Kid kicks harder than you do!"
Derek found himself grinning like a fool as he tucked that last picture into his wallet.
Derek couldn't believe how much Reid was showing by the time his mother's birthday came around. Derek did a quick bit of mental math, swallowing when he realized that Reid had been on sabbatical for five months, and depending on when he'd conceived, well, he was closer to having this baby than not.
Reid was self-conscious around Derek, almost avoiding being seen from the front or side, disappearing back into his room when he had the chance. Derek frowned, and started to follow, but then Desiree grabbed his arm and pulled Derek into the kitchen.
"Quit staring at him!" she said in a low voice. "He hates that."
"I just . . . I haven't seen him for five months, Des. Sure, I saw the pictures of the baby he sent, but I hadn't seen him." Reid looked, well, even prettier than he normally did. And healthier (thanks to Fran Morgan's influence over his meals). And Reid was practically glowing when he thought Derek wasn't looking. Then he was blushing and looking away.
"Well, get over it. He's been nervous about your visit all week. He's really worried you'll be upset by this. Oh, I know you wouldn't be," she said when Derek started to protest, "but let's face it, Spencer thinks highly of you. He doesn't want to lose your friendship."
"He's not going to lose it, Desiree. No matter what."
His sister smiled at him. "Good. Because while he talks about his teammates a lot, you're the person he talks about the most." She patted Derek on the cheek and left him standing in the kitchen, staring open-mouthed after her.
"It was Ethan."
Reid's - Spencer's - soft voice came from behind where Derek was sitting on his mother's couch, reading a book because his thoughts had been racing too much for sleep, reflecting on what Desiree had said in the kitchen earlier that day.
Derek turned, seeing Spencer standing behind him wearing a t-shirt that was, even now, too big on him and a pair of sweatpants. "What was Ethan?" he asked before his brain caught up with him, taking in the way Spencer was stroking over the bulge of the baby under the shirt. "Oh."
Spencer slowly walked around to the other side of the couch and sat down, taking a drink from the juice bottle in his hand. "It wasn't long after Gideon left. I went down to New Orleans for a few days. We got intimate, and careless."
Derek had a brief flash of Spencer, naked, all pale skin and lean body, head thrown back in passion, and had to shift on the couch as his body responded. "Does he know?"
"He knows."
"Do I have to track him down and dismember him?"
Spencer gave Derek a small smile. "Please, don't. This is a lot to put on a person, and Ethan's always done his own thing. I know if I ever truly needed help, I can go to him, but he's not ready for this, you know?"
"Are you?" Derek asked softly.
Spencer turned to him, and Derek saw the raw fear in Spencer's eyes. He moved over on the couch, putting an arm around Spencer and pulling him into a loose embrace. "Hey, it'll be all right, Spencer," he said.
After a few moments, Spencer's arms curled around Derek, who pressed a kiss to his head and held on, afraid to let go.
"How is he?" They were in Alabama this time, a serial rapist/kidnapper currently terrorizing female college students while eluding both local law enforcement and the BAU.
"Bored. Driving the nurses up a wall. I think he's written three papers since he's been confined to bed rest." Fran Morgan laughed. "I couldn't tell you half of what he's written, it's all way higher math than I can do."
Derek laughed as well. "That sounds like Spencer." He sobered. "How much longer?"
"They're trying to wait as long as they can to give the baby a better chance," Fran replied. "But I suspect it won't be too much longer."
"Call me the minute anything changes," Derek said. "I'm going to try to be there as soon as I can."
"I will, baby. And check your phone." Fran's voice dropped to a whisper. "Des just sent you a picture. Don't tell Spencer."
Derek hung up and checked the incoming message. He chuckled at the image of Spencer in a hospital bed, laptop open on the tray table, wearing those ugly horn rimmed glasses and giving Desiree his kitten glower.
"Morgan?"
Derek turned, seeing Hotch behind him. "Hey, Hotch. Just an update. Everything's fine."
Hotch's eyes briefly glanced to the phone, but he didn't pry. "We're ready to give the profile," was all he said.
Derek nodded and closed the phone. He didn't offer to show Hotch the picture. He didn't examine his feelings why. He just knew Spencer wouldn't want anyone from the team, other than Derek, to see him that way.
A few days later, after catching the Alabama unsub and a day at home to do laundry, they were back on the road, this time in Racine, Wisconsin, with an injustice collector teenage shooter to catch. Fortunately, they managed to catch him while the body count was still relatively low.
Derek and Hotch were in the SUV on the way back to their hotel from the field office when Derek's cell phone rang. "Hey, Sarah, what's up?"
"They're doing the procedure now, Derek. The baby was in fetal distress, they said."
Derek swallowed. "Now?" He glanced over at Hotch, who was driving. "Reid's in surgery now?" He put the phone on speaker so Hotch could hear as well.
Hotch turned and looked at him. "Now?" he asked, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel.
"They just took him in," Sarah said. "Derek, if you can get down here, I think he'd appreciate it. I don't think the doctors are hopeful about the baby right now." Sarah sounded distressed.
"We're in Racine," Hotch said. "We'll be there in two hours."
"Good. Momma and Desiree are in the waiting room. I'll be with them."
"We'll see you in two hours, Sarah." Derek hung up the phone. "What are we going to tell the rest of the team?"
"You had a family emergency, I'm driving you to Chicago, they should take the plane back to Virginia and we'll let them know what happens."
"Right, because they won't decide to drive to Chicago on their own. Reid won't like seeing them there, Hotch. Garcia will be hacking into Chicago hospitals to check on my mom and sisters, and if she doesn't find anything, she'll start digging deeper."
Hotch didn't take his eyes from the road. "You want to just go back to Virginia?"
"No."
"Call them." Hotch took the ramp to the interstate toward Chicago. "Reid's been alone enough through all this. We're going. If they show up, we'll deal with it."
Derek nodded and started dialing JJ's number.
Derek paused in the doorway to Spencer's hospital room, not wanting to interrupt the moment between Spencer and the baby girl he held in his arms. Spencer's attention was focused solely on the infant, not surprising, but Derek was surprised by his own emotions while watching Spencer and his daughter. The urge to go over and sit next to him, to put his arm around Spencer and adore the baby together, hit him with a force he hadn't expected.
It had been a week since the c-section, and the baby had spent most of that time in the NICU. Derek knew Spencer had been to see her, but this was the first time that he had seen father and daughter together. He'd been surprised when told Spencer had a daughter - the younger man had never mentioned the sex of the baby while pregnant. It was possible he hadn't wanted to know - maybe to distance himself from the statistics that Derek hadn't been able to resist looking up months ago. Less than one percent of babies born to human males survived their first twenty-four hours. Spencer and his little girl had beaten the odds.
He hoped they continued to beat the odds.
Derek knocked on the door. "Hey," he said when Spencer looked up.
"Hey," Spencer said back, the smile on his face changing into something more welcoming than the private smile he'd had for the baby.
"How are you feeling?" Derek entered and stood by the bed, his hands in his pockets.
Spencer thought about that for a moment. "I think I've been better," he finally said. "But she's totally worth it." He looked down at his daughter and smiled.
"Totally worth it, huh?"
"Mmm-hmm," Spencer hummed distractedly, adjusting the blanket around the baby.
Derek got closer, peering down at the little girl, who was asleep. Soft tufts of dark blonde hair stuck out beneath the cap she was wearing.
"She gotta name yet?" The NICU signs had only read 'Baby Girl Reid'.
Spencer glanced at him, then back to the baby as she made a soft noise. "Morgana," he finally said. "Morgana Frances."
"Frances." Derek blinked. "After my mom?"
Giving him a shy smile, Spencer shrugged. "Without her I don't think we'd be here."
Swallowing against the sudden lump in his throat at the thought of Spencer not surviving this, Derek reached out and traced one trigger-calloused finger down Morgana's cheek. "Well, hey there, Morgana," he said. "Pretty name for a pretty girl."
"It means 'great circle' in Welsh," Spencer said. "I was considering Erika since it's the closest female equivalent to Derek that I could think of, but since I generally tend you call you Morgan," he trailed off and shrugged.
Pausing with his finger still on Morgana's chin, Derek turned to look at Spencer. He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it, taking in the way Spencer seemed nervous about Derek's reaction.
Derek smiled. "I like Morgana." He sat down on the bed beside Spencer, stroking Morgana's cheek again. "I'm flattered you'd want to name her after me. I figured you'd name her after her other parent," he said softly.
"I did." Spencer's whisper was barely audible, but Derek heard it, and turned to face Spencer again, seeing the emotions in Spencer's eyes that he realized had been there all along, if he'd bothered to look. Emotions he knew he felt, if he'd ever bothered to acknowledge them. But he did now.
He was in love with Spencer Reid, and had been for years. And Spencer loved him.
Smiling, Derek pressed a soft, chaste first kiss to Spencer's lips, then put his arm around the younger man, pulling him into an embrace and looking down at Morgana. Spencer's head rested against Derek's shoulder, and he pressed another kiss into Spencer's hair. "What an odd family we'll be," he murmured.
Spencer chuckled. "Yeah. But it's totally worth it."
Derek grinned at his love and their daughter. "Yes, it is."
Author: kyrdwyn
Rating: FRM
Pairing: Morgan/Reid; Reid/Ethan
Spoilers: "Profiler, Profiled", "Jones", "In Name and Blood"
Betas: sweetsubbie and m_j_ - but any remaining mistakes are mine.
Author's Notes: Written for the badfic2009 challenge. They said "you can try the dreaded mpreg" and my brain went "oh hai! Mpreg!" *headdesk*
Warnings: (1) This goes AU after "In Name and Blood".
(2) This is MPREG fic. Male Pregnancy. If this isn't your cuppa, I wouldn't click on the link.
Summary: Morgan has to deal with hearing some unexpected news.
Two months after Jason Gideon fled the BAU, Derek Morgan came in to find Spencer Reid's desk cleared off, his files stacked neatly on Derek's and Prentiss' desks, and a note resting on top of them. Derek picked up the note and opened it, scanning the few lines inside, then crushed it in his hand.
"He really is on sabbatical," Hotch's voice said behind him. Derek turned. Hotch stood there, coffee in his hand. "This isn't like Gideon."
"But why?"
"It's a personal issue, but he will be back, Morgan. He promised me." Hotch had an odd look on his face, one that worried Derek.
He merely nodded, though, knowing that Hotch wouldn't say anything. Derek would get his answers from Reid.
Reid answered the door, looking more pale than usual, the dark rings under his eyes standing out. "Morgan," he said with a sigh. "I figured you'd stop by." He stood back to let Derek in, and Derek paused in the living room, noticing the packing boxes and empty shelves.
"You moving?" Derek was stunned. Hotch had said that Reid would be returning to he BAU. He hadn't said anything about Reid leaving the area.
He heard Reid shut and lock the door behind him. "Yeah, well, the sabbatical position I'm taking is going to require me to move out of state."
Derek turned to look at Reid. "Why now?" he asked.
Reid shoved a lock of hair behind his ears. "What do you mean?" he asked, not looking at Derek. He grimaced, one hand going to his stomach before he moved toward the kitchen. "You want a drink?"
"No, I want to know what's going on. Gideon takes off, Hotch and Prentiss almost take off on us, now you're taking a sabbatical? Come on, Reid, this isn't just coincidence." A thought occurred to Derek. "Tell me Strauss didn't go after you."
Turning back with a startled expression on his face, Reid shook his head. "No, it's nothing like that. Strauss had nothing to do with my decision."
"Then what is it? Reid, you know you can talk to me. Is it about Gideon?" Though the young man tried to hide it, Derek caught the flash of something that crossed Reid's face. "It is about Gideon."
"Morgan, please," Reid said softly, tiredly. "I just . . . I just need to take some time off, for personal reasons."
"Reid, a week is for personal reasons. A year? Something entirely different." He paused. "Hotch said you promised to come back, but this?" Derek gestured to the apartment. "Doesn't look like you're coming back at all."
Running a hand through his hair, Reid sighed. "It's complicated, Morgan. And I am planning on coming back."
"Right." The way Reid wouldn't meet his eyes had Derek doubting him. "Well, good luck with whatever you're doing. Guess I'll see you in a year. Or at least, you know, drop me a postcard when you decide to admit you're not coming back." He turned toward the door.
"Did you know that there is a rare genetic mutation in .00015% percent of human males that allows them to become pregnant after having unprotected anal intercourse?"
Reid's quavering voice stopped Morgan in his tracks, and he blinked before turning around, knowing his mouth was dropping open. "What?"
"There's a --"
Morgan raised a hand, cutting him off. "I heard you the first time, Reid, but I'm not quite sure --"
"I'm pregnant."
This was what a psychotic break must feel like, Morgan thought. "You're what?"
"Pregnant. Expecting. Knocked up. With child." Reid sighed. "I'm one of the .00015% that has that genetic mutation. And I got careless. Which is why I'm going on sabbatical. Do you know the statistics on male pregnancy? High risk doesn't even begin to describe it. 95% end in miscarriage before the end of the first trimester, the rate of birth defects--"
"Reid!" Morgan interrupted, not wanting to hear the statistics. He had a sick feeling that one of those statistics would be about fatalities of the pregnant male, and he did not want to think about Reid dying from this. "Hold on, presuming this isn't all one massive joke, I can see why you're taking a sabbatical, but why are you moving?" Please let this be one massive joke, he thought, but he was afraid it wasn't, Reid was too serious, and the look he was now giving Morgan - what Garcia had dubbed as Reid's kitten glower - meant that Reid was upset that Morgan even thought of calling his child a joke and God had he really just thought that?
He had to sit down. Fortunately, there was a chair nearby.
"I'm moving because there's only one hospital that specializes in male pregnancy and to ensure the best chance of survival for both myself and the baby I need to be nearby and as soon as possible. I'm already in several high risk categories, and the more time I go without proper medical care and monitoring means the risks increase exponentially."
Morgan ran a hand over his face. "Okay, I get that." He looked around. "Plus you'll need more room when you get back to D.C." Oh God he could not believe he was taking this seriously. But when he looked up at Reid, who was standing there with one hand resting on his stomach, looking almost thoughtful, like most of the other pregnant women Morgan had seen in his life, he could almost believe it.
"Yeah," Reid said absently. "I will."
"So, where's this hospital?"
"Northwestern."
Morgan looked up at that. "In Chicago?" At Reid's nod, Morgan frowned. "Got a place there, yet?"
"I've got a hotel booked for a while, figured I'd look when I get there."
"Look, my mom's got an extra room--"
"Morgan, I can't just move in with your mother! She barely knows me!"
"Tell me staying in a hotel is going to be better for you, then. At least you'll have someone there with you - you said this was high risk, Reid."
Reid looked away. "I don't want anyone to know," he finally said, so softly that Morgan could barely hear it. "It's bad enough that you know, that Hotch knows."
"Hotch knows?"
"I had to tell him. He wouldn't just accept my request for a sabbatical, not this close to Gideon leaving, without a reason."
A thought occurred to Morgan. "Reid, tell me Gideon isn't. . ." he couldn't bring himself to say it, not sure father was the right description.
Reid blinked at him, and then his confusion cleared up. "What? No. God, no, Morgan." Reid shuddered. "Just, no."
Derek wasn't sure why he was so relieved at hearing that denial. Probably because he'd already been planning his own resignation from the FBI so he could track down and dismember Gideon for abandoning Reid at a time like this.
"Look, Reid, even if you stay at that hotel, let me at last just call my mom and tell her what's going on, so you'll have someone available. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone, and if the . . . well, if the other person is out of the picture, then at least having a friendly face around, someone who's been through this before, couldn't be a bad thing for you." Derek looked up at Reid. God, the thought of Reid going through this alone was killing him. Granted, Derek wasn't quite sure what he was going to tell his mom, but he knew she'd smack him if she did find out Reid was living in town and needed help, and Derek hadn't told her.
Reid finally nodded. "All right. I guess. . . I guess it wouldn't be so bad to have a friend there."
"Hey, Reid, you've always got friends here, you know," Derek said.
Reid looked back at him, giving Derek a surprising shy smile. "I know," he said softly.
Derek forced himself to look away from that smile, surprised by the emotions it was turning up. "So, let me help you pack. You shouldn't be lifting all this by yourself right now, I would have thought a genius like you would have known that," he chided gently as he stood.
Reid laughed, and Derek smiled as he picked up books and started packing them.
"Is he always this stubborn?"
Derek blinked at his mother's frustrated voice when he answered the phone. "Hi, Momma," he said, glancing at Garcia, who grinned brightly at him. "Nice to hear from you." He moved away from Garcia's domain, not wanting her to hear this conversation if it went the way he thought it would. "And yeah, Reid is stubborn to a fault, why?"
"He's insisting on staying in that hotel. I have a perfectly good spare room here for him, and he won't accept it."
Derek chuckled. He had a feeling his mom would be after Reid to move in with her. If she couldn't fuss over her son, one of his friends - and a pregnant one at that - would be fair game.
"He's embarrassed, Momma. I think he likes the anonymity in the hotel. It can't be easy for him to deal with."
"It's not healthy for him to be staying there. He definitely isn't eating enough."
"He never does. Even before this. You saw how skinny he was before."
Fran Morgan sighed through the phone. "I know, baby, but he isn't the only person he needs to take care of right now."
"I know, Momma. And he knows that, too."
"So talk to him, Derek. He needs better care. They need better care."
"That's why he's staying near the hospital." He could hear his mother's glare over the wires. "All right, all right, I'll talk to him."
"Good." Fran paused. "Derek, you're not the --"
"I'm not, Momma. I don't know who is. Reid didn't tell me. I don't think the other person's in the picture anymore."
"Well, he's lucky to have a friend like you."
Derek smiled. "I'm lucky too. He's a good friend."
Fran hummed. "So, when are you coming to visit him then?"
"When I can get away from the job. Definitely for your birthday."
"Good. I love you, Derek."
"Love you too, Momma."
"He's fine, Derek."
"Sarah, Momma had to rush him to the hospital!" Derek ran a hand over his head, trying to keep his voice down. They were in rural Iowa, looking for a serial killer, and he didn't want the team or the local police to hear his conversation. Sure, Hotch knew the truth about Reid's condition, but Prentiss, JJ, Rossi, and Todd were in the dark, and it wasn't Derek's secret to tell. Even if he was agitated over Reid being taken to the ER after having some sort of issue - his mother hadn't left the details on Derek's voice mail, preoccupied as she was over Reid.
"The doctors say he's fine, there's no damage to him or the baby. He fell, Derek, nothing major. I know, Momma made it sound like the world was ending, but she's being overly cautious. I can't say I blame her. That boy needs looking after. Thank God she finally browbeat him into moving in with her. I think she was planning on moving into that hotel he was staying in if he didn't."
Derek sighed in relief. "You're sure he's all right?"
"He's fine. I saw him myself." She blew out an exasperated breath. "Are you sure you're not the other one here? Because you're acting like it."
"I'm just concerned for a friend." Why does everyone think I'm sleeping with Reid? Derek wondered.
"Uh-huh. Look, the doctors are going to release him tomorrow. You should come to Chicago when you're done with your case, see him for yourself."
"If I can, I will. If not, I'm still coming for Momma's birthday."
"Good. He'll be happy to see you." Sarah hung up, and Derek closed his phone, letting out a sigh of relief.
"Everything all right?" Hotch asked from behind him. Derek turned, meeting Hotch's concerned gaze. He glanced around, but none of the others were near.
"Medical scare, but he's fine now."
Hotch nodded. "Good." His face was impassive, but the relief in his eyes was easy for Derek to see. Hotch was almost as worried about Reid as he was. "We've got a lead. I want you and Rossi to head over and check it out."
"Will do."
Getting home from another grueling case, Derek smiled as he opened his mailbox and found several letters from Reid in it. He opened them, reading the younger man's account of life with Derek's mother and sisters, laughing as he recognized parts of his own life - his mother was treating Reid like her own child.
The last one was thicker, and along with the sheets of notebook paper were several sonogram pictures. Derek sat down heavily in one if his kitchen chairs, looking over the pictures, taking in the size, the positioning, the way the baby looked as if he or she were sucking his or her thumb in the last one. There was a sticky note on the back, the handwriting in Reid's scrawl. "Kid kicks harder than you do!"
Derek found himself grinning like a fool as he tucked that last picture into his wallet.
Derek couldn't believe how much Reid was showing by the time his mother's birthday came around. Derek did a quick bit of mental math, swallowing when he realized that Reid had been on sabbatical for five months, and depending on when he'd conceived, well, he was closer to having this baby than not.
Reid was self-conscious around Derek, almost avoiding being seen from the front or side, disappearing back into his room when he had the chance. Derek frowned, and started to follow, but then Desiree grabbed his arm and pulled Derek into the kitchen.
"Quit staring at him!" she said in a low voice. "He hates that."
"I just . . . I haven't seen him for five months, Des. Sure, I saw the pictures of the baby he sent, but I hadn't seen him." Reid looked, well, even prettier than he normally did. And healthier (thanks to Fran Morgan's influence over his meals). And Reid was practically glowing when he thought Derek wasn't looking. Then he was blushing and looking away.
"Well, get over it. He's been nervous about your visit all week. He's really worried you'll be upset by this. Oh, I know you wouldn't be," she said when Derek started to protest, "but let's face it, Spencer thinks highly of you. He doesn't want to lose your friendship."
"He's not going to lose it, Desiree. No matter what."
His sister smiled at him. "Good. Because while he talks about his teammates a lot, you're the person he talks about the most." She patted Derek on the cheek and left him standing in the kitchen, staring open-mouthed after her.
"It was Ethan."
Reid's - Spencer's - soft voice came from behind where Derek was sitting on his mother's couch, reading a book because his thoughts had been racing too much for sleep, reflecting on what Desiree had said in the kitchen earlier that day.
Derek turned, seeing Spencer standing behind him wearing a t-shirt that was, even now, too big on him and a pair of sweatpants. "What was Ethan?" he asked before his brain caught up with him, taking in the way Spencer was stroking over the bulge of the baby under the shirt. "Oh."
Spencer slowly walked around to the other side of the couch and sat down, taking a drink from the juice bottle in his hand. "It wasn't long after Gideon left. I went down to New Orleans for a few days. We got intimate, and careless."
Derek had a brief flash of Spencer, naked, all pale skin and lean body, head thrown back in passion, and had to shift on the couch as his body responded. "Does he know?"
"He knows."
"Do I have to track him down and dismember him?"
Spencer gave Derek a small smile. "Please, don't. This is a lot to put on a person, and Ethan's always done his own thing. I know if I ever truly needed help, I can go to him, but he's not ready for this, you know?"
"Are you?" Derek asked softly.
Spencer turned to him, and Derek saw the raw fear in Spencer's eyes. He moved over on the couch, putting an arm around Spencer and pulling him into a loose embrace. "Hey, it'll be all right, Spencer," he said.
After a few moments, Spencer's arms curled around Derek, who pressed a kiss to his head and held on, afraid to let go.
"How is he?" They were in Alabama this time, a serial rapist/kidnapper currently terrorizing female college students while eluding both local law enforcement and the BAU.
"Bored. Driving the nurses up a wall. I think he's written three papers since he's been confined to bed rest." Fran Morgan laughed. "I couldn't tell you half of what he's written, it's all way higher math than I can do."
Derek laughed as well. "That sounds like Spencer." He sobered. "How much longer?"
"They're trying to wait as long as they can to give the baby a better chance," Fran replied. "But I suspect it won't be too much longer."
"Call me the minute anything changes," Derek said. "I'm going to try to be there as soon as I can."
"I will, baby. And check your phone." Fran's voice dropped to a whisper. "Des just sent you a picture. Don't tell Spencer."
Derek hung up and checked the incoming message. He chuckled at the image of Spencer in a hospital bed, laptop open on the tray table, wearing those ugly horn rimmed glasses and giving Desiree his kitten glower.
"Morgan?"
Derek turned, seeing Hotch behind him. "Hey, Hotch. Just an update. Everything's fine."
Hotch's eyes briefly glanced to the phone, but he didn't pry. "We're ready to give the profile," was all he said.
Derek nodded and closed the phone. He didn't offer to show Hotch the picture. He didn't examine his feelings why. He just knew Spencer wouldn't want anyone from the team, other than Derek, to see him that way.
A few days later, after catching the Alabama unsub and a day at home to do laundry, they were back on the road, this time in Racine, Wisconsin, with an injustice collector teenage shooter to catch. Fortunately, they managed to catch him while the body count was still relatively low.
Derek and Hotch were in the SUV on the way back to their hotel from the field office when Derek's cell phone rang. "Hey, Sarah, what's up?"
"They're doing the procedure now, Derek. The baby was in fetal distress, they said."
Derek swallowed. "Now?" He glanced over at Hotch, who was driving. "Reid's in surgery now?" He put the phone on speaker so Hotch could hear as well.
Hotch turned and looked at him. "Now?" he asked, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel.
"They just took him in," Sarah said. "Derek, if you can get down here, I think he'd appreciate it. I don't think the doctors are hopeful about the baby right now." Sarah sounded distressed.
"We're in Racine," Hotch said. "We'll be there in two hours."
"Good. Momma and Desiree are in the waiting room. I'll be with them."
"We'll see you in two hours, Sarah." Derek hung up the phone. "What are we going to tell the rest of the team?"
"You had a family emergency, I'm driving you to Chicago, they should take the plane back to Virginia and we'll let them know what happens."
"Right, because they won't decide to drive to Chicago on their own. Reid won't like seeing them there, Hotch. Garcia will be hacking into Chicago hospitals to check on my mom and sisters, and if she doesn't find anything, she'll start digging deeper."
Hotch didn't take his eyes from the road. "You want to just go back to Virginia?"
"No."
"Call them." Hotch took the ramp to the interstate toward Chicago. "Reid's been alone enough through all this. We're going. If they show up, we'll deal with it."
Derek nodded and started dialing JJ's number.
Derek paused in the doorway to Spencer's hospital room, not wanting to interrupt the moment between Spencer and the baby girl he held in his arms. Spencer's attention was focused solely on the infant, not surprising, but Derek was surprised by his own emotions while watching Spencer and his daughter. The urge to go over and sit next to him, to put his arm around Spencer and adore the baby together, hit him with a force he hadn't expected.
It had been a week since the c-section, and the baby had spent most of that time in the NICU. Derek knew Spencer had been to see her, but this was the first time that he had seen father and daughter together. He'd been surprised when told Spencer had a daughter - the younger man had never mentioned the sex of the baby while pregnant. It was possible he hadn't wanted to know - maybe to distance himself from the statistics that Derek hadn't been able to resist looking up months ago. Less than one percent of babies born to human males survived their first twenty-four hours. Spencer and his little girl had beaten the odds.
He hoped they continued to beat the odds.
Derek knocked on the door. "Hey," he said when Spencer looked up.
"Hey," Spencer said back, the smile on his face changing into something more welcoming than the private smile he'd had for the baby.
"How are you feeling?" Derek entered and stood by the bed, his hands in his pockets.
Spencer thought about that for a moment. "I think I've been better," he finally said. "But she's totally worth it." He looked down at his daughter and smiled.
"Totally worth it, huh?"
"Mmm-hmm," Spencer hummed distractedly, adjusting the blanket around the baby.
Derek got closer, peering down at the little girl, who was asleep. Soft tufts of dark blonde hair stuck out beneath the cap she was wearing.
"She gotta name yet?" The NICU signs had only read 'Baby Girl Reid'.
Spencer glanced at him, then back to the baby as she made a soft noise. "Morgana," he finally said. "Morgana Frances."
"Frances." Derek blinked. "After my mom?"
Giving him a shy smile, Spencer shrugged. "Without her I don't think we'd be here."
Swallowing against the sudden lump in his throat at the thought of Spencer not surviving this, Derek reached out and traced one trigger-calloused finger down Morgana's cheek. "Well, hey there, Morgana," he said. "Pretty name for a pretty girl."
"It means 'great circle' in Welsh," Spencer said. "I was considering Erika since it's the closest female equivalent to Derek that I could think of, but since I generally tend you call you Morgan," he trailed off and shrugged.
Pausing with his finger still on Morgana's chin, Derek turned to look at Spencer. He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it, taking in the way Spencer seemed nervous about Derek's reaction.
Derek smiled. "I like Morgana." He sat down on the bed beside Spencer, stroking Morgana's cheek again. "I'm flattered you'd want to name her after me. I figured you'd name her after her other parent," he said softly.
"I did." Spencer's whisper was barely audible, but Derek heard it, and turned to face Spencer again, seeing the emotions in Spencer's eyes that he realized had been there all along, if he'd bothered to look. Emotions he knew he felt, if he'd ever bothered to acknowledge them. But he did now.
He was in love with Spencer Reid, and had been for years. And Spencer loved him.
Smiling, Derek pressed a soft, chaste first kiss to Spencer's lips, then put his arm around the younger man, pulling him into an embrace and looking down at Morgana. Spencer's head rested against Derek's shoulder, and he pressed another kiss into Spencer's hair. "What an odd family we'll be," he murmured.
Spencer chuckled. "Yeah. But it's totally worth it."
Derek grinned at his love and their daughter. "Yes, it is."