Fic: "So Brokeback" by kyrdwyn [PG-13, Sheppard/Beckett]

Mar 06, 2007 21:41

Title: So Brokeback
Author: kyrdwyn
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: John Sheppard/Carson Beckett
Spoilers: None
Author's Notes: Set in an unspecified future time, sometime after S3 at least.
2dozenowies Prompt: Broken Bone.
beckettsheppard Three Words challenge: school/broken bone/coffee
Beta: rosewildeirish



Carson hesitated before ringing the doorbell on the small house. It had been a year, and he wasn't sure how he'd be received. Things had changed so much.

The door opened to reveal a dark haired teenage girl. She had a pink cell phone pressed to one ear, her hair in a ponytail, and she was wearing a t-shirt with a cartoon rabbit and the phrase "boys smell funny" on it. She looked at Carson and muttered, "hold on," into the cell phone.

"I'm Dr. Carson Beckett. I'm here to see Col -- er, John Sheppard."

The girl rolled her eyes and turned her head. "John, it's for you!" she called before walking away, talking into her phone about plans for the evening.

Carson stared at the screen door bemusedly, and in a few seconds, John appeared from a different part of the house. "Carson!" he said, a smile crossing his face. John opened the screen door and stood back to let Carson enter. As soon as he did, John slapped him on his good arm. "Come on into the kitchen."

Following, Carson thought John was almost comically glad to see him, but then again, John might not have a lot of adult company these days, other than parent-teacher conferences and high school sports games or whatever other activities pseudo-fathers of teenage girls attended.

"How's everyone?" John asked as he hurried to move a pot off the stove before it boiled over. "Want a drink? There's soda in the fridge. I had to stop buying beer when RJ's friends got into it," he added with a grimace.

Carson winced in sympathy. "Soda's fine," he said, opening the fridge to pull out a bottle for himself and one for John. "And everyone's good. I've got messages from them in the car."

John finished stirring the pot and put the lid back on it. "You wanna stay for dinner?" he asked. "It's spaghetti," he said with an apologetic look at the cast on Carson's left arm. "We can catch up afterwards, since RJ's going out to the movies later - if she behaves," he added darkly. "She's been in one of those 'you're not my father so I'm not going to listen to you' moods." John smiled wryly. "I think she'd give McKay a run for his money in stubbornness."

Carson chuckled. "You poor thing," he said. "I'd love to stay, though."

"What happened to your arm?" John asked as he pulled out plates and set the table. It was almost disturbing to see the former lieutenant colonel acting so domestic, and yet Carson strangely felt at home, as if this were something he experienced every day.

"Rodney was, er, driving. Couldn't stop in time to avoid a wreck," Carson said, amending his answer as RJ came into the room, the cell phone now clipped to her belt. She regarded Carson. He smiled at her, and she gave him something that resembled a smile before turning the fridge.

"RJ, this is Carson Beckett. He and I used to work together. Carson, this is my sister, RJ." John made the formal introductions as he started ladling spaghetti onto the plates.

RJ looked up from the fridge and nodded. "Hi," she said.

"Hello," Carson replied. "It's nice to finally meet you. John's mentioned you."

RJ shrugged and sat down at the table, staring at her glass. Carson raised an eyebrow at John, who shrugged as well. Carson wondered if RJ had picked that body movement up from John, or if it was an inherited trait from their mutual father.

John set the plates on the table, and RJ picked up her fork and began eating. John sat down and smiled at Carson, who smiled back as he picked up his fork. Despite RJ's sullen teenage presence, he was glad he'd come to visit John while on leave from Atlantis. It felt like coming home.

"You are not going to the movies if Miranda is driving," John said firmly. "She's only 16. I'll drive you there and pick you up."

"Jenny's mother is letting her go with Miranda!" RJ exclaimed.

"I'm not Jenny's mother. Besides, it's a late movie, and state law doesn't allow Miranda to drive after midnight. I'm not picking you up at the police station."

RJ glared at John. " You're not my father!"

"No, I'm not," John replied calmly. "I'm your older brother and your guardian. Those are the ground rules for going out. You don't like it, you can stay home."

RJ sulked, but John stood firm. He knew she thought he was being mean, but he just didn't trust the other teenage girl. Maybe it was because of the car accident that had claimed the lives of William and Tamara Sheppard, or maybe it was because he knew all too well how bad teenagers were behind the wheel from his own childhood.

"Fine," RJ sighed, looking extremely put out. "Just don't be late picking me up."

"Don't wait until the last minute to call me," John retorted. When RJ went to get her purse, John went back into the kitchen. Carson still sat at the kitchen table, idly twirling his fork in the remainder of his spaghetti. "Sorry about that," he told Carson, picking up his and RJ's plates to put them in the dishwasher.

Carson smiled at John and stood, bringing over his dishes. "I understand."

"Yeah, well, some days I'm not sure I do," John muttered.

"I'm ready," RJ announced from the doorway.

John looked at Carson, who smiled. "Do you mind if I stay here while you take her to the movies? It was a long drive from Colorado Springs."

"Not a problem. Make yourself at home." John grinned, unaccountably happy to think that he'd be coming home to Carson.

RJ was silent until they were halfway to the mall. "So, he your boyfriend?"

John sputtered. "Ruby Jasmine Sheppard!"

"What? You were way too happy to see him, John. It was so Brokeback Mountain."

"When did you see that movie?" John asked, startled. Their father hadn't been the most liberal of people. He wouldn't have gone to see that movie if you'd paid him.

RJ smirked. "Mom wanted to see it. So we went while Dad was off visiting his Air Force buddies."

"I can't believe your mother took you." John shook his head.

"Mom wasn't nearly as stuffy as Dad. Or you," she added with a sidelong look.

"Look," John said with a sigh, "I know you resent me, but I'm just trying to keep you safe. I know what's out there - I spent the majority of my life in the Air Force." He gave her a look. "Dad would come back from the grave and haunt me if I didn't take care of you."

RJ shrugged and stayed silent the rest of the drive. When she got out of the car at the mall, she turned to John. "I'll call you for my ride when the movie's over."

"Don't forget," John replied. "Otherwise you won't be going to the movie for another three months at least."

She gave him a half hearted wave as she joined her friends and John sighed, wondering if he'd been that bad at fifteen. He probably had been, although his father had been a much more stern parent than John was being with RJ. Of course, the fact that RJ was his younger half sister, and not his daughter, probably had something to do with that.

Arriving back at the house, John smiled at the sight of the rental car in the driveway. Carson was here.

In the year since he'd had to leave Atlantis and the Air Force to take care of RJ, John hadn't seen anyone from the Stargate program. He figured they'd all been busy, but no one had written him so much as a short letter to say hello. Not even Carson, the one person John had the hardest time leaving.

John found Carson in the living room, looking through the family photo album. He was looking at the last family portrait John had been in. Despite Tamara's best efforts, John and his father had never been close.

"You look so young," Carson commented as John sat down on the couch next to him.

John nodded. "I was 21 when RJ was born. That picture was taken just after my Academy graduation, before my first posting. RJ was less than six months old." He reached out and traced a finger over his younger self, in uniform, holding his younger sister. His father and Tamara stood behind John and RJ.

"You never wore your uniform for me," Carson said with a sidelong look at John.

"I wore it every day," John said evenly.

"That's not the one I mean," Carson replied. He sighed and closed the book. "I'm sorry I haven't written."

"Well, you've probably been busy," John forced himself to reply lightly as he got up and went into the kitchen to finish cleaning up the dishes.

"Actually," Carson said as he came and sat down at the table, watching John, "I've been afraid to write."

John didn't say anything as he poured the leftover spaghetti sauce into an airtight container.

"You were so shell-shocked at finding out your parents had died and you were now RJ's guardian that I wasn't sure you'd want to hear from anyone on Atlantis, much less me."

Turning around, John looked at Carson. "If I could have convinced you to leave Atlantis and join me, I would have. But I didn't think you'd want to be dragged back to Earth to help me raise my half-sister."

"Actually," Carson said slowly, "I wouldn't have minded. After all, it would have meant I was with you. Probably more openly than we were on Atlantis."

John ran a hand over his face. "I also wasn't sure about this whole parenting thing. You know I hadn't seen RJ since before Afghanistan? Then suddenly I'm her pseudo-parent."

"You needed time to adjust," Carson said simply. "I understood that. I was trying to give you that by not writing, to let you focus on RJ, and yourself." He got up and walked over to John. "Have you ever let yourself mourn for your father, or your step-mother?"

John looked up at Carson. "I was too busy being RJ's guardian." He looked down at Carson's cast, then back up, "and too busy mourning for us."

Carson sighed. "We're a right pair, aren't we? Both of us afraid to talk to the other, to remind each other of what we lost, and at the same time . . ."

"That just made it more painful," John finished. Carson nodded in response.

Silence reigned in the kitchen for a few more moments, both men standing there, thinking of what they'd lost. John saw Carson flex the fingers on his left hand, and reached out to grab it, lightly massaging the fingers and what little of the palm he could reach. Carson smiled at him.

"Was the mission at least worth the broken bone?" John asked quietly, hating that his friends - that Carson - had probably been running for their lives while he was here, on Earth, doing nothing. Not that raising RJ was actually 'nothing' in the grand scheme of things, but he was used to being on the front lines, not sitting at home, waiting for news.

"I suppose," Carson said with a shrug of his right shoulder. "The jumper was a write off, but we accomplished our goals." He scowled at the cast. "Still, I was already leaving the expedition, and this just made it seem worse."

"You left?" John asked, startled.

Carson nodded. "I had to. My mum, well, she needed full time looking after, and I wasn't going to put her into to some senior home." He looked away from John, eyes bleak. "The day after I returned to Scotland she --" Carson stopped and swallowed. John pulled Carson into a careful hug, not wanting to overstep his bounds, yet unable to leave Carson alone when he was obviously hurting. Carson's good arm came around John's waist, and they held onto each other for long moments.

When Carson shifted back a little, John reluctantly let go. He'd missed Carson, missed the closeness they'd had when they were lovers. "What will you do now?" John asked. "Go back?"

Carson shrugged. "I don't know. Officially, I'm on medical and bereavement leave from the expedition, but I don't know if I really want to go back." He looked up at John, gave him a small smile. "There's not that much there for me now."

"Rodney might disagree with that," John replied with his own small smile, relieved when Carson chuckled.

"Aye, you're right, he probably will. I know I'll miss him, and the others as well, but I really just don't have the mental energy needed to go back out there again. No matter how much Rodney or Elizabeth begs."

"Then don't," John said simply. "Work at the SGC, go back to private practice, take your back pay and travel the world. Hell, open a Starbucks franchise and be a coffee barista in a really cool green apron."

Carson raised an eyebrow. "Lounge around my boyfriend's house mooching off him and harassing his half sister into doing her homework?"

John paused at the mental image of the three of them being a family. Oh, his father would be rolling over in his grave. John found he didn't care. RJ's opinion was the only other one that mattered.

"Well, RJ did say that you and I were, quote, so Brokeback Mountain, unquote." He grinned at Carson's astonished look. "Apparently, my step-mother took her to see the movie."

"Out of the mouths of babes." Carson shook his head. "Or teenagers, in this case."

"If you want to stay here for a while, I'd be honored to have you. As my guest," John added. "I'm not going to expect us to pick up where we left off."

"I'd love to stay," Carson said before John could say anything else. "In a guest bed, in your bed, it doesn't matter. Well, not in RJ's bed, because you'd kill me, but you know what I mean." He leaned up and lightly brushed his lips over John's.

"I do know what you mean," John said against Carson's lips. He let his hand slide up to cup the back of Carson's head as they kissed again, this time deepening the kiss. Leaning further back, John rested his weight against the counter so he could concentrate on Carson. He'd forgotten how good Carson tasted, forgotten the feel of Carson's weight against him, the smell of his aftershave, the sound --

-- of Johnny Cash lamenting being named Sue.

Carson broke off the kiss and blinked at John, who smiled sheepishly. "Cell phone," he said roughly, clearing his throat before answering.

"Movie sucks, we walked out. I need a ride."

"Hello to you, too, RJ."

"I'm sorry, did I interrupt a make out session with your boyfriend?" RJ asked with a smug tone.

"If I say yes, will you finish watching the movie?"

"Ewww, John!"

John grinned. "Don't ask questions you don't want answered, kiddo. We'll be there in half an hour."

"Ewww," RJ said again before she cut the connection. John shook his head as he closed the phone.

"She has the worst timing," he told Carson.

"I suppose it's that's one of those drawbacks I'll have to deal with, to get the benefits of being with you," Carson replied with a smile. "Should we go pick up your sister and gross her out some more?"

John leaned down and kissed Carson again. "Saddle up," he said, delighting in Carson's laughter as they headed for John's car to pick up the other member of their soon to be hopefully happy family.

sga: john/carson, 2dozenowies

Previous post Next post
Up