Just give me a reason (1/23)
Title: Just give me a reason (to keep my heart beating)
Rating: NC17 (mentions of abuse)
Pairing: Kai/Kyungsoo (main) and many side pairings
AU: werewolf
Summary: Kyungsoo so far hasn’t had neither nice nor easy life. Being average didn’t help. But when finally things seemed to be getting better his whole world dropped on his head - he got sold by his father to the man with strange, animalistic glint in his eyes. The worst came when monsters turned to be real.
Warning for first few chapters: mentions of rape
Disclaimer: Whole au is more or less in Patricia Briggs’ universum from “Mercedes Thompson’s series”. Also huge influence on me had few fics, which authors’ I’d like to thank for grate work and amazing hours spent on reading their stories. It would be: “Clair de Lune” by Maerii87 “Half of the Moon” by Sharl and Zielddhy my personal favorite - “Of Flesh, Fur and Fang” by kat-elric and probably tons others but I don’t remember, sorry.
Also about au details like folklore monsters’ abilities and history facts - some are results of my small research and some - of my own imagination.
The title is a first line from One Ok Rock’s song’s lyric called “The Beginning”. It’s not song fic but it include a lot of different inspirations.
Chapter 1
He couldn’t believe that it’s his forth New Year’s Eve in this basement. A little more than 4 years ago, his father sold him to This Man. At this time, he was already an adult and could do whatever he wanted; which also included completely disappearing from the Earth’s surface and played just fine for his father’s plan. Kyungsoo never have any actual close friends. He was far too shy for that. One thing that limited this was that his home situation wasn’t very guests-come-over friendly.
Ever since Kyungsoo’s mother lost her life after giving birth to him, all his father’s love for his wife turned to hatred for his only son. So Kyungsoo was frequently hit. Bruised going to school and taking all responsibility for it, claiming that the marks were a result of his clumsiness. His father also had often been forgetting to feed him and so Kyungsoo found a part-time job in a small, local Chinese restaurant where a really nice aunty taught him how to cook.
He wasn’t a very bright student, just somewhere in the middle of the class and he had never had any amazing dreams about going to college. But he has fallen in love with cooking and for quite some time had been saving up for courses which would give him an official license and open doors to real restaurants’ kitchens. But even that small dream got ruined that one day…
…his nineteenth birthday.
***
He was coming back home. It was already evening. Ever since he started working for Aunty, she somehow (probably through sneaking out his student card) learned his birthday’s date and at this day, after his shift, she had been giving him small home-made cake cutely packed (of course with hugs, kisses and all that jazz). It was their small ritual which was already a few years old. He was always grateful of those warm feelings from her. So he left in quite good humour, praying that his father had left for some conference or whatever. Just anything which could make him stay away from home this evening. He saw his small house come into view with the light on in the salon’s windows. He sighed. Nope, once again his prays were left unheard. He got to the front doors, took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for the short sprint to the stairs and up to his room, anything to avoid his father. He pushed the doors open, trying to make his entrance as soundless as it could be. He was ready to start sprinting to his room but he got caught in the middle of his steps by his father’s loud call of “Kyungsoo!”. Calling him by name didn’t promise anything good. He changed direction and neared the salon, at the same time trying to hide the cake box behind his back to make it less obvious. Then he spotted another man sitting in the armchair beside his father. At first Kyungsoo couldn’t see him, only the back of his head. But then the man raised from his seat and turned to face him. It made Kyungsoo stop once again. He looked at the guest’s face. The man was quiet handsome, in a very rough way. Tall and smiling but it wasn’t a happy smile. Everything in Kyungsoo screamed at him to run away from him. He was scarred of his father and had been for many years, but this man made it all seem like a good memory. The glint in his eyes reminded Kyungsoo of a beast on the hunt. Maybe he had been watching too much Discovery Channel but he was almost sure that at that moment he knew what exactly a zebra had been feeling while being chased by a lion.
“Kyungsoo”, said his father, which reminded Kyungsoo that he was still standing in their salon, not running away. “This is your new owner. You can finally get the hell out of my sight and my life.”
“New owner?”, he mumbled.
The guest smiled wider. “From now on you will stay at my place and be my personal pet”
Kyungsoo couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Did his father just sell him? How much money had he taken? This was not important. Personal pet? It’s ridiculous. As in a sexual slave? His father maybe wasn’t all that good to him but he had never used him like that. Kyungsoo wanted to deny it all. Laugh it off. But looking at the faces of both men just made him realise that it’s not a stupid joke or part of a twisted dream. It was real. He wanted to voice his protests, but he was too shell-shocked. He made one step back however as quick as lightning the guest was suddenly next to him. Kyungsoo didn’t even see him move. In that moment, he could feel a handkerchief press to his face. There was something on it which after a small inhale made his head dizzy and sight unfocused. Before he completely blacked out he thought ah, that’s how the zebra feels when it finally got caught.
And then there was darkness.
***
He had woken up in some dark place. He was lying on the bed. It was dark but there was a small window above his head. He was guessing that it was around sunset as the light getting through the window was greyish. He was pretty sure that he wasn’t there too long. Or maybe he was? He sat on the bed and took a look around. Not very spacious but also not too small. Beside the bed, doors and window, there was only a one meter high and one meter wide partition. Above it he could see the washbasin with a mirror and the top of the toilet. Nothing more.
Kyungsoo tried to remember everything that had happened the other day to gather any information. He tried to understand this whole new and ridiculous situation. He was coming back home. Unfortunately, his home was not empty as he had hoped. Besides his father, there was this strange man. Just a memory of the man’s somehow wild eyes made Kyungsoo shiver unpleasantly. Ah, right. It was his nineteenth birthday. He was planning to accept Aunty offer to rent a small room above her restaurant to break free from his abusive father. But he didn’t make it. Father had sold him (or given him for free probably, he will never find out the truth anyway). Kyungsoo started to wonder, who will notice his sudden absence? Probably only Aunty. He didn’t have friends. Any. Nor family other than his father. So he’s probably sentenced to be forgotten by anyone who has ever met him and will die in this place alone. Hopefully alone. He just remembers his father’s guest has called Kyungsoo his ‘personal pet’. He really didn’t want to find out what the man actually meant by it.
He was thinking why all of these bad things are happening to him. The too early death of his mother. His abusive father. He was a no-one at school. Even delinquents didn’t pick on him. He was below their standards. He was living the silent life and didn’t seem to cause anyone any problems. So why him?
He was so deep in his own thoughts that he almost missed the sound of the lock click and doors opening. Kyungsoo looked at them and waited. After a moment, he was once again staring into the beast like eyes of his father’s guest. He quickly looked away and around the room to check if there was any place to hide. There was none.
“Kyungsoo”, said the man with amused tone. It made Kyungsoo shiver in fright. “Welcome to my place. I hope you like your new room.”
“Why are you doing this? What will happened to me?”, Kyungsoo bravely asked.
“Because I want. Because I can.”, the man answered only the first question Kyungsoo had asked.
“What do you want from me?”
“Whatever I will think of. Your ass, sometimes maybe your mouth. There is also quite a lot of possibilities”, said the man. “Maybe I will offer you as a reward from time to time to one of my pack members by giving you to him. We will see.” He smiled cruelly.
And that’s how Kyungsoo’s slavery had begun.
He soon discovered that his room was in the basement of a bigger house but all he saw was the corridor to the Man’s bedroom, the bedroom itself faced a forest, viewed from the windows which appeared to surround the whole house. As the Man stated, Kyungsoo was used as a sex slave for him and his pack members, as he called them before (Kyungsoo thought of them as of some kind of mafia or gang), and sometimes they were far too creative. Kyungsoo till then didn’t know of the existence of some parts of his body until they made the areas ache. At first he tried to fight, resist somehow. But after he realized it turns them on even more, he stopped doing anything. Even crying. During the whole year he tried to escape few times. The last time was very unfortunate. He almost died. No. He has actually died.
He managed to break the window in his room and slide outside. For a whole year living in the estate, he had gotten thin enough to fit right through it. He got some small cuts on his face, torso and legs but he didn’t care. His plan was to get to the forest, somehow get to the nearest city and call the police. When he was reaching the line of the forest he heard a howl. He didn’t think of the possibility that the Man could have hunting dogs. Which in hindsight made sense as living far from the city and civilization, surrendered by forest and wild nature, hunting dogs were logical. Also, in movies and books all the mafia bosses had a thing for hunting. Especially human prey.
All these thoughts made Kyungsoo run even faster. He couldn’t believe he was able to move so fast even after a year of living on such an unbalanced diet (they were giving him some leftovers, but sometimes, just like his father, they simply forgot to feed him). He put his speed and stamina down to adrenaline.
His face and whole body was smacked by leaves and branches. He almost lost his balance a few times. Running shoeless in the forest in the evening wasn’t his first choice. It was his only one.
He could hear the howls were getting closer. He was looking for some cave, a big hole in a tree or the ground to hide or maybe some water, a river to help him lose pursuit but he couldn’t see too well in the dark forest.
Suddenly he lost his footing at the edge of a steep hill and fell down. He was rolling and his back was hit by countless rocks. The fall felt like an eternity. He somehow miraculously avoided all the trees. Hitting one of them with his rolling speed probably would have broken his spine. He stopped at the far end of the tiny valley. For a few seconds he was too dizzy to open his eyes. He could feel his head and somewhere in the middle of his body painfully throbbing. He had probably broken some ribs too. All of his body ached. He tried to push himself up, but when he put weight on his left arm he almost screamed. Broken? Probably. He looked at his body. His shirt and trousers were dirty and ripped. All the stains looked the same in the moonlight but he touched a huge one on his stomach. It was warm and slick. He looked at his fingers. There was something dark on his fingertips. Blood. He tried to sit but he noticed that one of his feet looked strange. There was something wrong about its angle. Before he could think about it anymore, he heard a rush in the bushes and two hunting dogs were standing before him. Or maybe not dogs. They were far too big for any dog race Kyungsoo had ever seen or heard of.
Wolves! That Man had freaking hunting wolves! Huge ones! Kyungsoo was so fucked. He was sure that he will die being eaten by them. But it will also make him free from this world which he didn’t want himself in from his very first breath.
The wolves were coming closer and closer. Snarling non-stop at him. Kyungsoo couldn’t move. Couldn’t run. Damn, he couldn’t even fight back! He closed his eyes and waited for his end. But then he heard movement in bushes once again. A small light of hope turned in his mind. Maybe that’s rescue! Maybe someone informed the police about his disappearance and they have found him! But the hope died as soon as the one making the sound came out of the bushes. It was the Man.
Ah, so even death won’t be easy for me, Kyungsoo thought and sighed loudly.
“It was impressive, my dear pet”, said the Man as he theatrically clapped. “But as you could see it bought you here. All broken, hurt and helpless. Was running worth it? What should we do with you?”
“Please, kill me”, Kyungsoo said quietly.
“Life is not that simple, pet. But we can get busy on the compromise.”, said the Man as he smiled crazily - Kyungsoo could see this from afar.
Then he felt a hard blow to his stomach. He yelped because he couldn’t get enough breath to scream. He could taste his own blood pooling in his mouth. After a second blow, he hung his head low and let the blood flow out of his mouth freely. He stopped counting after the fifth blow. He will die tonight. He was certain. There is no way he could survive this kind of damage. He felt colder and colder. All the warmth left his dying body. He neither could move his toes nor his fingers. It was like they didn’t exist at all or weren’t attached to his body.
One more blow and there will be no more Do Kyungsoo in this world, he thought. But as if the Man had heard his thought, all the hitting stopped.
Kyungsoo almost pleaded at loud to finally finish him off but suddenly he could feel a pain in his neck. The Man is fucking biting him! But it didn’t felt like human teeth. They were far too sharp. What the… He couldn’t even properly finish his thought because pain was too overwhelming. Finally he passed out.
- - - - -
A/N: To provide you better story rn I'm looking for beta. Anyone? :D
A/N: Beta'd by lovely JustABitDramatic <3
Rating: NC17 (mentions of abuse)
Pairing: Kai/Kyungsoo (main) and many side pairings
AU: werewolf
Summary: Kyungsoo so far hasn’t had neither nice nor easy life. Being average didn’t help. But when finally things seemed to be getting better his whole world dropped on his head - he got sold by his father to the man with strange, animalistic glint in his eyes. The worst came when monsters turned to be real.
Warning for first few chapters: mentions of rape
Disclaimer: Whole au is more or less in Patricia Briggs’ universum from “Mercedes Thompson’s series”. Also huge influence on me had few fics, which authors’ I’d like to thank for grate work and amazing hours spent on reading their stories. It would be: “Clair de Lune” by Maerii87 “Half of the Moon” by Sharl and Zielddhy my personal favorite - “Of Flesh, Fur and Fang” by kat-elric and probably tons others but I don’t remember, sorry.
Also about au details like folklore monsters’ abilities and history facts - some are results of my small research and some - of my own imagination.
The title is a first line from One Ok Rock’s song’s lyric called “The Beginning”. It’s not song fic but it include a lot of different inspirations.
Chapter 1
He couldn’t believe that it’s his forth New Year’s Eve in this basement. A little more than 4 years ago, his father sold him to This Man. At this time, he was already an adult and could do whatever he wanted; which also included completely disappearing from the Earth’s surface and played just fine for his father’s plan. Kyungsoo never have any actual close friends. He was far too shy for that. One thing that limited this was that his home situation wasn’t very guests-come-over friendly.
Ever since Kyungsoo’s mother lost her life after giving birth to him, all his father’s love for his wife turned to hatred for his only son. So Kyungsoo was frequently hit. Bruised going to school and taking all responsibility for it, claiming that the marks were a result of his clumsiness. His father also had often been forgetting to feed him and so Kyungsoo found a part-time job in a small, local Chinese restaurant where a really nice aunty taught him how to cook.
He wasn’t a very bright student, just somewhere in the middle of the class and he had never had any amazing dreams about going to college. But he has fallen in love with cooking and for quite some time had been saving up for courses which would give him an official license and open doors to real restaurants’ kitchens. But even that small dream got ruined that one day…
…his nineteenth birthday.
***
He was coming back home. It was already evening. Ever since he started working for Aunty, she somehow (probably through sneaking out his student card) learned his birthday’s date and at this day, after his shift, she had been giving him small home-made cake cutely packed (of course with hugs, kisses and all that jazz). It was their small ritual which was already a few years old. He was always grateful of those warm feelings from her. So he left in quite good humour, praying that his father had left for some conference or whatever. Just anything which could make him stay away from home this evening. He saw his small house come into view with the light on in the salon’s windows. He sighed. Nope, once again his prays were left unheard. He got to the front doors, took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for the short sprint to the stairs and up to his room, anything to avoid his father. He pushed the doors open, trying to make his entrance as soundless as it could be. He was ready to start sprinting to his room but he got caught in the middle of his steps by his father’s loud call of “Kyungsoo!”. Calling him by name didn’t promise anything good. He changed direction and neared the salon, at the same time trying to hide the cake box behind his back to make it less obvious. Then he spotted another man sitting in the armchair beside his father. At first Kyungsoo couldn’t see him, only the back of his head. But then the man raised from his seat and turned to face him. It made Kyungsoo stop once again. He looked at the guest’s face. The man was quiet handsome, in a very rough way. Tall and smiling but it wasn’t a happy smile. Everything in Kyungsoo screamed at him to run away from him. He was scarred of his father and had been for many years, but this man made it all seem like a good memory. The glint in his eyes reminded Kyungsoo of a beast on the hunt. Maybe he had been watching too much Discovery Channel but he was almost sure that at that moment he knew what exactly a zebra had been feeling while being chased by a lion.
“Kyungsoo”, said his father, which reminded Kyungsoo that he was still standing in their salon, not running away. “This is your new owner. You can finally get the hell out of my sight and my life.”
“New owner?”, he mumbled.
The guest smiled wider. “From now on you will stay at my place and be my personal pet”
Kyungsoo couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Did his father just sell him? How much money had he taken? This was not important. Personal pet? It’s ridiculous. As in a sexual slave? His father maybe wasn’t all that good to him but he had never used him like that. Kyungsoo wanted to deny it all. Laugh it off. But looking at the faces of both men just made him realise that it’s not a stupid joke or part of a twisted dream. It was real. He wanted to voice his protests, but he was too shell-shocked. He made one step back however as quick as lightning the guest was suddenly next to him. Kyungsoo didn’t even see him move. In that moment, he could feel a handkerchief press to his face. There was something on it which after a small inhale made his head dizzy and sight unfocused. Before he completely blacked out he thought ah, that’s how the zebra feels when it finally got caught.
And then there was darkness.
***
He had woken up in some dark place. He was lying on the bed. It was dark but there was a small window above his head. He was guessing that it was around sunset as the light getting through the window was greyish. He was pretty sure that he wasn’t there too long. Or maybe he was? He sat on the bed and took a look around. Not very spacious but also not too small. Beside the bed, doors and window, there was only a one meter high and one meter wide partition. Above it he could see the washbasin with a mirror and the top of the toilet. Nothing more.
Kyungsoo tried to remember everything that had happened the other day to gather any information. He tried to understand this whole new and ridiculous situation. He was coming back home. Unfortunately, his home was not empty as he had hoped. Besides his father, there was this strange man. Just a memory of the man’s somehow wild eyes made Kyungsoo shiver unpleasantly. Ah, right. It was his nineteenth birthday. He was planning to accept Aunty offer to rent a small room above her restaurant to break free from his abusive father. But he didn’t make it. Father had sold him (or given him for free probably, he will never find out the truth anyway). Kyungsoo started to wonder, who will notice his sudden absence? Probably only Aunty. He didn’t have friends. Any. Nor family other than his father. So he’s probably sentenced to be forgotten by anyone who has ever met him and will die in this place alone. Hopefully alone. He just remembers his father’s guest has called Kyungsoo his ‘personal pet’. He really didn’t want to find out what the man actually meant by it.
He was thinking why all of these bad things are happening to him. The too early death of his mother. His abusive father. He was a no-one at school. Even delinquents didn’t pick on him. He was below their standards. He was living the silent life and didn’t seem to cause anyone any problems. So why him?
He was so deep in his own thoughts that he almost missed the sound of the lock click and doors opening. Kyungsoo looked at them and waited. After a moment, he was once again staring into the beast like eyes of his father’s guest. He quickly looked away and around the room to check if there was any place to hide. There was none.
“Kyungsoo”, said the man with amused tone. It made Kyungsoo shiver in fright. “Welcome to my place. I hope you like your new room.”
“Why are you doing this? What will happened to me?”, Kyungsoo bravely asked.
“Because I want. Because I can.”, the man answered only the first question Kyungsoo had asked.
“What do you want from me?”
“Whatever I will think of. Your ass, sometimes maybe your mouth. There is also quite a lot of possibilities”, said the man. “Maybe I will offer you as a reward from time to time to one of my pack members by giving you to him. We will see.” He smiled cruelly.
And that’s how Kyungsoo’s slavery had begun.
He soon discovered that his room was in the basement of a bigger house but all he saw was the corridor to the Man’s bedroom, the bedroom itself faced a forest, viewed from the windows which appeared to surround the whole house. As the Man stated, Kyungsoo was used as a sex slave for him and his pack members, as he called them before (Kyungsoo thought of them as of some kind of mafia or gang), and sometimes they were far too creative. Kyungsoo till then didn’t know of the existence of some parts of his body until they made the areas ache. At first he tried to fight, resist somehow. But after he realized it turns them on even more, he stopped doing anything. Even crying. During the whole year he tried to escape few times. The last time was very unfortunate. He almost died. No. He has actually died.
He managed to break the window in his room and slide outside. For a whole year living in the estate, he had gotten thin enough to fit right through it. He got some small cuts on his face, torso and legs but he didn’t care. His plan was to get to the forest, somehow get to the nearest city and call the police. When he was reaching the line of the forest he heard a howl. He didn’t think of the possibility that the Man could have hunting dogs. Which in hindsight made sense as living far from the city and civilization, surrendered by forest and wild nature, hunting dogs were logical. Also, in movies and books all the mafia bosses had a thing for hunting. Especially human prey.
All these thoughts made Kyungsoo run even faster. He couldn’t believe he was able to move so fast even after a year of living on such an unbalanced diet (they were giving him some leftovers, but sometimes, just like his father, they simply forgot to feed him). He put his speed and stamina down to adrenaline.
His face and whole body was smacked by leaves and branches. He almost lost his balance a few times. Running shoeless in the forest in the evening wasn’t his first choice. It was his only one.
He could hear the howls were getting closer. He was looking for some cave, a big hole in a tree or the ground to hide or maybe some water, a river to help him lose pursuit but he couldn’t see too well in the dark forest.
Suddenly he lost his footing at the edge of a steep hill and fell down. He was rolling and his back was hit by countless rocks. The fall felt like an eternity. He somehow miraculously avoided all the trees. Hitting one of them with his rolling speed probably would have broken his spine. He stopped at the far end of the tiny valley. For a few seconds he was too dizzy to open his eyes. He could feel his head and somewhere in the middle of his body painfully throbbing. He had probably broken some ribs too. All of his body ached. He tried to push himself up, but when he put weight on his left arm he almost screamed. Broken? Probably. He looked at his body. His shirt and trousers were dirty and ripped. All the stains looked the same in the moonlight but he touched a huge one on his stomach. It was warm and slick. He looked at his fingers. There was something dark on his fingertips. Blood. He tried to sit but he noticed that one of his feet looked strange. There was something wrong about its angle. Before he could think about it anymore, he heard a rush in the bushes and two hunting dogs were standing before him. Or maybe not dogs. They were far too big for any dog race Kyungsoo had ever seen or heard of.
Wolves! That Man had freaking hunting wolves! Huge ones! Kyungsoo was so fucked. He was sure that he will die being eaten by them. But it will also make him free from this world which he didn’t want himself in from his very first breath.
The wolves were coming closer and closer. Snarling non-stop at him. Kyungsoo couldn’t move. Couldn’t run. Damn, he couldn’t even fight back! He closed his eyes and waited for his end. But then he heard movement in bushes once again. A small light of hope turned in his mind. Maybe that’s rescue! Maybe someone informed the police about his disappearance and they have found him! But the hope died as soon as the one making the sound came out of the bushes. It was the Man.
Ah, so even death won’t be easy for me, Kyungsoo thought and sighed loudly.
“It was impressive, my dear pet”, said the Man as he theatrically clapped. “But as you could see it bought you here. All broken, hurt and helpless. Was running worth it? What should we do with you?”
“Please, kill me”, Kyungsoo said quietly.
“Life is not that simple, pet. But we can get busy on the compromise.”, said the Man as he smiled crazily - Kyungsoo could see this from afar.
Then he felt a hard blow to his stomach. He yelped because he couldn’t get enough breath to scream. He could taste his own blood pooling in his mouth. After a second blow, he hung his head low and let the blood flow out of his mouth freely. He stopped counting after the fifth blow. He will die tonight. He was certain. There is no way he could survive this kind of damage. He felt colder and colder. All the warmth left his dying body. He neither could move his toes nor his fingers. It was like they didn’t exist at all or weren’t attached to his body.
One more blow and there will be no more Do Kyungsoo in this world, he thought. But as if the Man had heard his thought, all the hitting stopped.
Kyungsoo almost pleaded at loud to finally finish him off but suddenly he could feel a pain in his neck. The Man is fucking biting him! But it didn’t felt like human teeth. They were far too sharp. What the… He couldn’t even properly finish his thought because pain was too overwhelming. Finally he passed out.
- - - - -
A/N: To provide you better story rn I'm looking for beta. Anyone? :D
A/N: Beta'd by lovely JustABitDramatic <3