Humor--spoilers for Dart
How Duc Barquiel L’Envers eats a hot dog:
Barquiel nurses serious suspicions about the hot dog, and employs a network of spies and assasins to investigate its expiration date. Then, he hires someone else to eat it.
How Hyacinthe eats a hot dog:
The dromonde informs him about the hot dog, and that it has expired. So, he eats it before Phedre can. And then makes everyone go away so he can suffer food poisoning alone.
How Melisande Shahrizai eats a hot dog:
She visits it in the fridge periodically, and you think she’s going to take it out, but she doesn’t. Then, right before it expires, she very very slowly slices it all around lengthwise with very shallow cuts, with a very sharp knife. She rubs mustard in the cuts afterwards. And Elua help it, the hotdog gives up everything to her. Yes, it does.
How Phedre no Delauney eats a hot dog:
She strips down, covers herself in catsup and mustard and crawls into an enormous baked sandwich bun, tricking the hotdog into thinking it is going to eat her. The hot dog falls in love. She eats the hot dog, and weeps, because she loved it a little too.
How Joscelin Vereuil eats a hot dog:
He spends weeks loudly proclaiming it would be against his vows to eat a hot dog, then at midnight, the night before it expires, he sneaks downstairs, eats the hot dog, and spends the rest of the night brooding and blaming the hot dog for being unfairly delicious.