Criss/Colfer, Post- Original Songs
“Have you seen the internet this morning, Chris? I’m pretty sure we broke Twitter.”
Darren’s ability to sneak up on me is just another thing I’ve added to my “Things Darren Is Really Good At” list, which may or may not be an actual, physical list that may or may not reside in the bottom drawer of my nightstand. I’m hiding under the McKinley staircase drinking a Diet Coke-which is why I’m hiding in the first place, because Wardrobe will kill me if they find out I’m eating in costume again-so I’m surprised that Darren was able to locate me at all. I turn around and see Darren standing behind me eating a banana with a wide grin, which makes me feel less bad about breaking the rules now that I have a co-conspirator.
“No kidding,” I reply, taking a sip of my drink and steadfastly ignoring the way Darren’s lips wrap around the banana as he eats it. “I know I tweeted about it last night, but I still can’t believe ‘They Kissed’ was a worldwide trending topic. The fans went nuts.”
“My friend Devin-she does Starkid stuff with me-“ And really, I don’t know why he still feels the need to add little asides like this, because I’ve told him a hundred times that I am well aware of Starkid-related things, but he still doesn’t believe me, “-said that Tumblr exploded, too. She called and told me I could watch the kissing scene in a hundred different formats, angles, and speeds, if I so chose.”
“Oh God,” I reply with a laugh that sounds far more nervous than I would like, “They’re going to start analyzing our technique, aren’t they?”
“Probably,” Darren agrees, looking just a little smug. “Personally, I thought our technique was fine. Excellent, even.”
Hopefully, he writes off my blush as a fast-acting sunburn, and I take another sip of Diet Coke before I put my foot in my mouth and say that Darren’s technique is absolutely perfect. He’s straight, Chris. Write a sad poem in your journal and move on, as a wise gay man once said.
“Chris, Darren, stop stuffing your faces and get back on set! You’re filming the serenade scene in five.”
I don’t know how Ryan always knows when I’m sneaking off, either. Perhaps his Gaydar is more like a homing beacon, or something. Sighing, I set my Diet Coke down in the shade of the staircase, hoping it will still be cold when I slip away from set again later. Darren horks the rest of the banana down in one bite-and okay I’m just going to forget I ever saw that, because damn.
“C’mon, Chris,” he says, reaching up to straighten the askew top hat on my head, his fingertips brushing against my temples, and yeah-there’s no way he missed that intake of breath. Smooth move, Chris. “It’s time for Kurt to watch Blaine sing at him.”
“I’ve become rather good at that,” I reply, affecting a haughty "Kurt" voice that makes Darren chuckle deep in his throat.
“Well you know what they say,” he adds with a cheeky grin, raising his eyebrows, “practice makes perfect.”
And then he winks.
He winks, and then just walks back out into the sunlight.
It takes me a couple of minutes to collect myself, and I end up downing the rest of the Diet Coke as though it’s a shot of whiskey to calm my nerves.
Keep it together, Chris. You can’t keep getting flustered every time he smiles at you. You’re going to have to spend a lot of time around him, now that Blaine and Kurt are an item.
Oh God.
Darren’s ability to sneak up on me is just another thing I’ve added to my “Things Darren Is Really Good At” list, which may or may not be an actual, physical list that may or may not reside in the bottom drawer of my nightstand. I’m hiding under the McKinley staircase drinking a Diet Coke-which is why I’m hiding in the first place, because Wardrobe will kill me if they find out I’m eating in costume again-so I’m surprised that Darren was able to locate me at all. I turn around and see Darren standing behind me eating a banana with a wide grin, which makes me feel less bad about breaking the rules now that I have a co-conspirator.
“No kidding,” I reply, taking a sip of my drink and steadfastly ignoring the way Darren’s lips wrap around the banana as he eats it. “I know I tweeted about it last night, but I still can’t believe ‘They Kissed’ was a worldwide trending topic. The fans went nuts.”
“My friend Devin-she does Starkid stuff with me-“ And really, I don’t know why he still feels the need to add little asides like this, because I’ve told him a hundred times that I am well aware of Starkid-related things, but he still doesn’t believe me, “-said that Tumblr exploded, too. She called and told me I could watch the kissing scene in a hundred different formats, angles, and speeds, if I so chose.”
“Oh God,” I reply with a laugh that sounds far more nervous than I would like, “They’re going to start analyzing our technique, aren’t they?”
“Probably,” Darren agrees, looking just a little smug. “Personally, I thought our technique was fine. Excellent, even.”
Hopefully, he writes off my blush as a fast-acting sunburn, and I take another sip of Diet Coke before I put my foot in my mouth and say that Darren’s technique is absolutely perfect. He’s straight, Chris. Write a sad poem in your journal and move on, as a wise gay man once said.
“Chris, Darren, stop stuffing your faces and get back on set! You’re filming the serenade scene in five.”
I don’t know how Ryan always knows when I’m sneaking off, either. Perhaps his Gaydar is more like a homing beacon, or something. Sighing, I set my Diet Coke down in the shade of the staircase, hoping it will still be cold when I slip away from set again later. Darren horks the rest of the banana down in one bite-and okay I’m just going to forget I ever saw that, because damn.
“C’mon, Chris,” he says, reaching up to straighten the askew top hat on my head, his fingertips brushing against my temples, and yeah-there’s no way he missed that intake of breath. Smooth move, Chris. “It’s time for Kurt to watch Blaine sing at him.”
“I’ve become rather good at that,” I reply, affecting a haughty "Kurt" voice that makes Darren chuckle deep in his throat.
“Well you know what they say,” he adds with a cheeky grin, raising his eyebrows, “practice makes perfect.”
And then he winks.
He winks, and then just walks back out into the sunlight.
It takes me a couple of minutes to collect myself, and I end up downing the rest of the Diet Coke as though it’s a shot of whiskey to calm my nerves.
Keep it together, Chris. You can’t keep getting flustered every time he smiles at you. You’re going to have to spend a lot of time around him, now that Blaine and Kurt are an item.
Oh God.