Fic: Thought You Should See This (1/1)
Media: Fic
Title: Thought You Should See This
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Kurt/Adam, See author's note for the rest (spoilers)
Spoilers: Through 4.17, Spec for 4.18
Word Count: ~6,000
Characters: Kurt/Blaine, Kurt/Adam, Misc canon characters
Disclaimer: Glee and its characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. The songs and all other publicly recognized things are not mine either. :)
Summary: It's the best thing he's ever seen...
Author's Note: This is a combination reaction fic to 4.15 and 4.16, then goes completely AU for 4.17 onward, though I do incorporate some spoilers for 4.18 (One section of this will talk about there being a possible school shooting at McKinley - I don't go into detail, but if this is triggering for you at all, please don't read it). Ultimately, this is a Klaine reunion fic. :D
Super extra thanks to beautifulhigh and star55 for being my lovely betas, and to unproductivepeanut on tumblr, for inspiring this.
Kurt and Adam are just getting back to the Bushwick apartment when Kurt’s phone rings. He answers it without glancing at the ID, letting himself and Adam inside.
Blaine’s voice is in his ear as he catches sight of Rachel and Santana on the couch. Rachel looks upset but Kurt can’t dwell on that because Adam is standing right in front of him and Blaine is on his phone, and oh, this is really awkward.
“Kurt?” Blaine says again.
Kurt clears his throat. “Blaine, hi,” he replies, feeling Adam’s eyes on him. “What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to make sure you guys were doing all right - the news said you got a ton of snow,” Blaine tells him. Kurt can’t help the small smile that comes to his face.
“We’re fine,” he says. “We just camped out for three days and watched movies. NYADA resumed classes today.”
“Oh, what movies?” Blaine wants to know. Kurt debates on answering it as he moves to take of his scarf and kick off his shoes.
“Mainly just Moulin Rouge.”
Blaine goes quiet for a second and Kurt knows exactly what Blaine must be feeling.
“Well, we did movie songs in glee this week,” Blaine finally speaks.
“You did?” Kurt replies, trying to sound cheerful. “That sounds fun.” He kind of shrugs helplessly at Adam. Kurt knows he should hang up - he’s got company, but he can’t bring himself to do it.
“Actually, that’s the other reason why I was calling,” Blaine continues. “I sent you something and I was hoping you and Rachel could watch it and let me know what you think.”
“Now?”
“Yeah,” Blaine says after a moment. “Unless this is a bad-”
“No, it’s just - Adam is here,” Kurt murmurs, feeling much like a museum display with three sets of wide eyes on him.
“Oh.” Blaine’s voice is quiet. “You don’t have to, Kurt, I just… I should let you go.”
“No,” Kurt hastily says. He can’t bear the pain in Blaine’s voice and he hates it because Blaine made this mess and Kurt still can’t bear to see him suffer. “We’ll watch it. Hold on.” He covers the mouth piece of his phone and looks at Rachel. “Blaine sent me something he wants us to watch. You up for that?”
Rachel takes a deep breath and nods. “Of course.”
“Are you okay? Brody’s not actually a drug dealer, is he?” Kurt asks. Rachel’s smile falters for a second, but she shakes her head. He promises himself that they’ll talk about that later. “Blaine?” Kurt says into the phone.
“Yeah,” Blaine replies. He sounds subdued and Kurt holds in a sigh. “It’s in your email.”
“Okay.” Kurt picks up his laptop and settles next to Rachel on the couch. Adam hasn’t said anything but he sort of leans behind them, looking over Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt knows it’s probably because he wants to see what Blaine looks like, to see exactly what he’s competing against. “I’m going to put you on speaker phone.”
“Okay,” Blaine agrees. Kurt taps the button on his phone and then holds it out.
“You there?”
“Yeah,” Blaine says. Kurt tries to see Adam’s reaction to Blaine’s voice out of the corner of his eye, but it’s too hard to manage while opening his email.
“Hi, Blaine,” Rachel greets, her cheerfulness sounding kind of forced.
“Hi, Rachel,” Blaine tells her.
“What I am, chopped liver?” Santana asks.
“Of course not,” Blaine replies. “Hi, Santana.”
“That’s better,” Santana grumbles. “You didn’t send the dynamic duo anything dirty, did you?”
“Santana!” Kurt snaps, glaring at her. He's afraid to look at Adam and see his reaction to that.
“What? I was just curious. He’s made out with both of you. I don’t know what you three got up to in your private time.” She examines her nails, oblivious to Kurt’s glare.
“Murder is a crime, Kurt,” Blaine says, seemingly from nowhere.
“I didn’t-” Kurt stutters out.
“You were thinking it.” Kurt hates it, but Blaine’s right. He finds the email and clicks it open. The subject line is listed as “Thought you should see this” but it’s the file name that’s attached that gets his attention.
The New Directions are like rockstars.
Kurt giggles. “Blaine, what did you do?”
“What?” Rachel asks.
“Oh, you know,” Blaine answers, laughing. “Impromptu performance. We kinda shut the school down for a while. The usual.”
Kurt giggles again, he can’t help it. He’s flashing back to that moment, the day he met Blaine and “The Warblers are like rockstars,” and it’s been a really long time since then.
“What’s so funny?” Santana glares, clearly hating that she's been left out of the joke.
“The day we met, Blaine told me the Warblers were like rockstars and their performances shut the school down for a while.” Kurt explains. “Looks like it’s not just the Warblers anymore.”
“You talk a big game, Anderson,” Santana replies.
“Just watch,” Blaine tells them, and Kurt can clearly picture the eye roll he must be doing.
Kurt clicks the file and it opens. Seeing Blaine again is like a punch in the gut, especially after the high emotions of the last few days. He tries not to let it show as he watches Blaine toss his satchel down in the school hallway. He makes a mental note to scold Blaine for that later - it’s a three hundred dollar bag.
Blaine and Brittany lead New Directions in “Shout” and it’s crazy. Kurt can hardly believe his eyes as the song takes them all over the school, even the library. It seems like the entire student body joins in as they go, ending the performance in the lunchroom, completely with dancing on the table tops.
Kurt tries to downplay his reaction but it’s a great performance and it’s really kind of amazing that they managed to get the entire school involved.
“And not one piece of food was thrown,” Santana says at the end of the song. “That is an improvement.”
Adam hasn’t said anything and Kurt’s not sure what he’s thinking, but he doesn’t have time to focus on that because Blaine speaks up.
“So,” he says, “I was thinking about this as a possible candidate for my NYADA audition.”
“You’re auditioning for NYADA?” It’s Adam who’s the first to reply, and Kurt turns to look at him.
“Yeah,” Blaine murmurs softly, after a long pause. Kurt has no idea what to do here. He’s never been in a situation like this.
“You got your letter?” Kurt continues. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Not yet,” Blaine says. “They go out soon though; I want to start working on something. After the hard time you guys had…” he trails off. Kurt can’t help but think of this time last year, when he’d been preparing for his own audition and how badly it’d gone in the end.
“Whatever you do, don’t choke,” Santana tells him.
“I’ll remember that,” Blaine replies. “So…”
“Well, I mean, it’s a good performance, Blaine,” Rachel says. “And I think you could do a lot with the song, and it works really well for your voice.”
“Kurt?” Blaine prompts.
“Carmen told me I didn’t get in initially because my performance was all show and no soul,” Kurt answers. “With a song like ‘Shout,’ I think you could possibly run into the same problem.”
“Okay,” Blaine agrees. “I’ll take it off the list. Thanks.” He pauses. “I’m sorry for interrupting. I’ll let you go now.”
“Okay,” Kurt says quietly. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Say hi to everyone for us!” Rachel exclaims.
Blaine promises that he will, and they say goodbye.
Silence fills the loft and Kurt has no idea what to do to break it.
“Well, this is awkward,” Santana says. “I’m going to go see if drug dealer Ken is out of the shower.”
“Santana!” Rachel hisses, getting up to follow her.
“Sorry about that,” Kurt apologizes. “Did you want to watch that movie?”
There’s a moment of silence and Kurt wonders if Adam is struggling to come up with something to say. Adam finally just nods and holds up a DVD.
Kurt smiles.
*
It’s almost exactly a week before Blaine calls again. They’ve texted a little bit here and there, friendly stuff, most of it glee related. Kurt’s been busy with classes and Blaine’s had his stuff too and it was difficult to get the other on the phone.
He’s rushing around in the flurry, Blaine on speaker phone so he can have his hands free. “Crap,” he mutters.
“What?” Blaine asks, cutting his story about Sue and the Cheerios off before it even really got started.
“I can’t find the scarf I wanted to wear and Adam’s going to be here any minute,” Kurt replies without thinking.
“So… you’re still seeing him,” Blaine says.
“Yes,” Kurt replies, his voice soft. He feels like he should try and explain himself to Blaine but he’s not sure he can without hurting him. He hates that this is so hard. “We’re going to a movie.”
“Should I let you go?” Blaine asks after a moment.
“No, keep talking,” Kurt encourages. “This is the first time we’ve talked in a week.”
“Okay,” Blaine continues, starting in again on his story about Sue and the Cheerios. Kurt walks into the other room as Blaine is talking, focused on Blaine’s words and looking for his scarf.
“And you’d think she’d stop at the hair gel and the identity theft, but no…” Blaine draws out the last word, and Kurt can hear the anger in his voice. “She had to hire a plane to fly a sign over the school.”
“A sign?” Kurt repeats, spotting his scarf on the floor, just under the couch. He bends down to get it, as Blaine finishes up.
“Yeah,” Blaine says. “It said ‘Blaine is on the bottom,’ which isn’t true, not really.” Kurt can’t believe the sudden turn this conversation as taken, but before he can say anything, Santana speaks up from behind him.
“Well,” she says. Kurt hits his head on the frame of the couch, startled.
“Ouch!” he mutters, turning to look behind him. Rachel and Santana have clearly just arrived home, and let Adam in with them.
“I’ve always wondered which of you pitched and which of you caught,” Santana continues, clearly enjoying Kurt’s embarrassment.
“Oh, my God,” Kurt manages to get out. He holds up a finger at Adam and mouths ‘one minute,’ before disappearing back into his room to finish getting ready. “So, what did you do?” he prompts Blaine.
Blaine clears his throat. “Well, we had a sing-off.”
“Please tell me you won.”
“Check your texts,” Blaine says. Kurt scrolls over and checks, and sure enough, there’s a pic from Blaine.
In a Cheerios uniform.
His reaction is not one that he wants to have. The uniform does amazing things for Blaine’s body and he shouldn’t be affected by it but he really, really is.
“Oh, Blaine,” he finally breathes out, when he can bring himself to speak. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Blaine replies, sounding cheerful. “Sam and I have a plan to take her down.”
“You’re kidding.” Kurt can’t believe his ears.
“She’s terrorized her last class of students, if I have anything to say about it.” Blaine seems determined, but Kurt knows that Sue Sylvester is no one to mess around with. Kurt heads back into the living room, spotting Adam on the couch. He knows he needs to wrap this up now. “I don’t care what it takes,” Blaine continues his rant. “Even if I do have to wear a thong.”
Rachel spits out the sip of coffee she’d just taken, and Santana is crumpled over, laughing. Kurt actually slaps his palm to his forehead. “You’re on speaker phone, you know.”
“I don’t even care, I’m so mad,” Blaine tells him.
“Well, Adam’s here, so I have to go.”
“Okay,” Blaine agrees after a moment. “We’ll talk soon.”
“Of course.”
Kurt hangs up and tries to pretend his face is not as red as it feels. “Ready to go?” he asks Adam.
“After you,” Adam replies, and Kurt is relieved that he doesn’t comment.
*
Kurt now tries to keep Adam’s visits and Blaine’s phone calls from overlapping. It’s not an easy feat, but there are no more embarrassing and awkward moments. He’s not sure what this thing with Adam is - Kurt likes him of course, and he finds Adam attractive - but he knows that part of him is still hanging on to Blaine, and that part is so much louder. Still, he’s stubborn. Kurt can’t bring himself to end things with Adam when he likes him so much.
At the moment, he and Adam are curled up on the couch, watching a Downton Abby marathon and quoting along with the characters. It’s fun and it’s certainly something he never did with Blaine.
“You hungry?” Adam asks, pausing the DVD player.
“I could eat,” Kurt answers. “Unfortunately, it’s Santana’s week to do the shopping and we don’t really have much right now.”
“What if I ran out and grabbed us some snacks?” Adam offers. “I’ll get all of your favorites.”
“Sounds good,” Kurt agrees. Adam smiles and throws on his jacket with a smile before letting himself out. Kurt leans his head back and sighs. “This dating stuff is bananas,” he mutters.
His laptop beeps, indicating a new email, so he pulls it into his lap, and opens it up.
Tina’s email address stares back him with the subject line, “Thought you should see this…,” and Kurt feels a sudden déjà vu. He clicks on the email and opens it up, reading quickly.
Kurt,
I thought you should see this. He doesn’t know I recorded it or that I’m sending it to you. I just… thought you should know how he feels.
Love,
Tina
There’s a file attached entitled “AAO.” He’s not sure if he wants to open it or not - it’s clearly something having to do with Blaine, but if Blaine didn’t know he was being recorded, then Kurt feels kind of weird about watching it. Plus, Adam could come back at any time and then where would he be?
He bites his lip and then closes the laptop. He picks up their empty water bottles and drops in them in the recycling bin. He folds the blanket they’d been using on the couch and then sits back down. His laptop is sitting there, mocking him now.
“Oh, fine,” he snaps out loud, picking up the laptop, opening it back up and clicking on that file.
The picture is dark and kind of grainy, obviously taken in bad lighting, but he can tell that Blaine is behind the piano, playing.
And then Kurt recognizes the song. He knows the lyrics - he’s always kind of considered it a cheesy eighties pop ballad, but with Blaine singing it’s like a knife to the chest.
Blaine’s still waiting for him. Blaine loves him. Blaine knows he’s never coming back and he can’t…
He doesn’t realize he’s crying, the song still playing, until Adam’s standing in front of him.
“Are you all right?” Adam asks. Kurt blinks up at him through his tears.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come back,” Kurt replies. “I-"
The song plays on, the sound of Blaine’s voice breaking as he sings reaching his ears. It’s awful. He’s causing Blaine this pain and he doesn’t know how to stop it. At the same time, Blaine hurt him so much and he doesn’t know how to fix this.
Adam’s strong arms wrap around him. Kurt knows he should push Adam away, that what’s he’s doing is not fair - after all, Adam is comforting him over an ex-boyfriend - but he can’t.
“Did he send that?” Adam asks softly, when Kurt’s crying calms down. Kurt shakes his head.
“Tina, one our friends,” Kurt whispers. “He doesn’t even know she recorded it.”
“He loves you,” Adam says.
“Then how could he hurt me so much?”
“Did you ask him?” Adam wants to know. “What did he tell you?”
“Just that he was lonely and there was someone else,” Kurt can barely bring himself to say the words. “He said he needed me and I wasn’t there, but he’s the one who told me to go!”
Kurt’s anger surprises him and sniffles, pulling away from Adam.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt tells him. “You didn’t sign up for any of this.”
“It’s worth it,” Adam replies. Kurt stares at him. “You said a few weeks ago that you want to be over him.”
“I do,” Kurt whispers. He wants it more than anything because it actually hurts to love Blaine. The thing is, Kurt doesn’t know how not to love him either.
“Then I think you need to ask him what really happened,” Adam suggests. “You need to listen to what he says.”
“And then?”
Adam looks a little sad for a second. “You decide if you can truly forgive him and take him back, or if you’re better off without him.” Kurt looks down as Adam takes his hand. “Either way, I’ll be here.”
“You’re too good to me,” Kurt murmurs. He wishes he could love Adam the way Adam deserves.
The song comes to an end but Kurt’s still crying, and he’s not sure he can stop it. He cried when Blaine first told him, but after that he refused to let himself cry over Blaine.
Then he hears voices. There’s more to the recording and Blaine isn’t by himself anymore. He and Adam both turn to look at the laptop screen.
“Blaine, dude,” Sam says, walking into the frame and sitting next to Blaine on the piano bench. “You gotta let him go.”
“Sam…” Blaine trails off, sniffling.
“This isn’t good for you,” Sam says. “You’re torturing yourself.”
“I love him.”
“I know you do,” Sam’s voice is soft. “But he’s moved on. Aren’t you tired of punishing yourself?”
“Do you remember last year when we did Whitney week?” Blaine asks, seeming from out of nowhere.
“Sure,” Sam replies. “You got up in front of everyone and sang a song about Kurt ch…” he stumbles over the word. “Cheating on you.”
Kurt’s face flushes hotly at Sam’s words and he knows that Adam is staring at him.
“I had pulled away from him,” Blaine murmurs. “I was worried about what would happen when he left and he was lonely and hurting, so he turned to someone else to make him feel better.”
“Blaine…”
“I just - I know what I did was worse, okay?” Blaine mutters. “But I forgave him for that. I just wish he could find it in his heart to forgive me.”
Kurt disentangles himself from Adam and sinks down on the couch. The situations between him and Blaine are eerily similar, and he wonders why he hasn’t seen it before now.
“Just… think about it, okay?” Sam asks. “You deserve to be happy too.”
Blaine nods and then the video suddenly swirls around to show Tina’s face. She’s crying.
“Either forgive him or let him go, Kurt,” Tina whispers sadly. “He can’t do this anymore and I’m sure you can’t either.”
The thing is, Kurt doesn’t know how to do either one.
*
It’s awkward between him and Adam after that night. They’re still dating, as far as Kurt can tell - no discussions about the status of their relationship have been had. He’s kind of dreading it though because he feels like one is coming. Kurt knows that he’s going to have to let Adam go, because Kurt is messed up. Kurt is a complete and utter mess and it’s not fair to Adam to make him think there would be more if there won’t.
For now he’s living in denial, enjoying his time with Adam.
At the moment he’s sitting next to Adam in the living room of the loft. It’s Thursday afternoon, and normally he and Adam would be alone, but today they’re not. Santana’s not working and Rachel got out of class early so the four of them had put in a movie to pass the time. Rachel’s curled up in an afghan on the chair, and Santana’s stretched out on the couch with him and Adam, her feet in Kurt’s lap. Kurt is painstakingly painting her toenails, something he learned how to do well over the years, thanks to sleepovers with girls.
If Kurt ignores the elephant in the room it’s not been a bad afternoon so far.
The phone rings, disturbing the silence. It’s Kurt’s and Santana drops her feet down with a sigh, taking the nail polish bottle from him when he gets up to answer it. She’s takes over on her toenails as he glances at the caller ID.
“Dad, hi,” Kurt says into the phone.
“Hi, kiddo.” His dad’s deep timber reaches his ears and Kurt smiles. He’s missed his dad.
“What’s up?” Kurt asks. Burt clears his throat and that’s Kurt’s first sign that this call is not a happy one.
“Are you sitting down?”
“No…” Kurt says, trailing off softly. “Should I be?”
“Possibly,” Burt replies. Kurt sinks back into the couch, feeling the blood drain from his face.
“What? Are you sick? Is it the cancer?” Kurt burst out. “Please, Dad-" he chokes out, tears forming in his eyes. Rachel gets up and sits on his other side as Adam pauses the movie.
“No,” Burt answers, and Kurt lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “It’s not me, son - or Finn or Carole, before you ask.”
Kurt sucks in a breath, because if it’s not one of them, then it can only be… “Blaine.” He exhales. “Dad, what?”
It has to be bad if his dad is the one calling. Because if his dad is calling then it means that Blaine can’t make the call himself.
“Are you home?” Burt asks.
“Yeah,” Kurt manages to get out. His dad tells him to turn on the TV, to switch it over to CNN. Kurt does so blindly and when the screen comes up, his anguished sound is matched by Rachel’s and Santana’s.
The tagline at the bottom of the screen reads: McKinley High under fire?
“Finn?” Kurt gasps out his brother’s name, even though Burt had said Finn was fine.
“He’s not there,” Burt says. “He called me from the shop this morning when he heard the news.”
“Blaine?” he asks in a small voice.
“I don’t know,” Burt tells him, and Kurt can’t breathe. His chest is tight and there’s this pressure, like someone’s squeezing him. Santana takes the phone from him and puts it on speaker. “There’s not a lot of information right now,” Burt continues. “At least one gunshot was confirmed, and the school is on lockdown while they look for the shooter.”
Tears are spilling down his face now and Kurt is shaking. He can’t speak. Forming words is a concept beyond him at the moment.
“Are there any injuries?” Adam’s the one that asks, and if Burt is surprised by the unfamiliar voice, he doesn’t say anything.
“No one’s reported any so far, but it’ll be a while before we can get an accurate report of what’s going on there,” Burt says. “Cell service is down and no one in the office is answering any calls.”
“Maybe Blaine didn’t go to school today,” Kurt mumbles, his mind racing with possibilities. He’s worried about his other friends too, but Blaine…
“I called his house, kiddo,” Burt replies in a soft voice. “His mother says he went to school today. She’s freaking out too.”
“Now she cares,” Kurt snaps, wiping his tears away.
“I thought you should hear this from me,” Burt finishes up. “I’m on my way down to get some answers.”
“Will they tell you?” Kurt asks.
“I’m a congressman,” Burt answers. “I’ll make them.” He sighs. “I’ll call you when I have an update, okay?”
“Okay,” Kurt manages to get out. “I love you.”
“I love you too, kiddo.”
They turn up the volume on the TV, listening as the announcer talks about McKinley. One person even goes as far as to discuss the bullying at the school and Kurt wonders if his complaint about Karofsky was included in that. It’s strange, he’s kind of watching with a strange detachment. Santana and Rachel are both crying, having moved so they’re snuggled up with him and Adam on the couch. It’s a tight fit, but none of them complain. He knows that Satana’s worried about Brittany, and all of them are worried about their other friends. What if something happened to Sam or Tina or Artie?
He can’t take it anymore and lifts his phone, pressing Blaine’s name on his contact list. Kurt knows his dad said cell service was down, but he has to try.
The not knowing will drive him insane.
The phone doesn’t even ring. He gets a computerized voice that says the call “can’t be connected at this time.”
He dials again, and again, and again.
It has to go through.
He sees Santana get her phone and try as well, probably to reach Brittany.
His frustration mounts as they continually receive the recording.
He doesn’t realize he’s crying again until Adam tries to take the phone from him. Kurt jerks his arm way.
“Kurt, calling isn’t going to do any good,” Adam reasons. “The signal is jammed.”
“I have to try,” Kurt replies. He can’t just sit there do nothing. He has to do something. He has to talk to Blaine and tell him - tell him that he’s sorry too, and that he forgives him. Kurt has to tell Blaine that he loves him because the thought that Blaine could die without knowing that is more than he can stand.
He chants under his breath, begging for the call to complete, for the phone to ring, for some kind of connection between his phone and Blaine’s to happen. Kurt is a person of action - he can’t just sit and do nothing and yet that’s all he can do, because he’s miles away.
The mood in the loft is tense. The TV drones on in the background and Kurt loses track of the time. He focuses only on one thing - pressing the “call” and “end call” buttons on his phone.
He assumes that Santana has done the same. Rachel’s a mother hen over both of them, making tea he can’t bring himself to drink. Adam is calm, rational support - he points out that the news has no reports casualties or injuries and that the gunman had probably already left the school, and that Blaine and their other friends were fine.
It doesn’t matter though, because Kurt can’t stop. He needs to hear Blaine’s voice, to know that he’s okay.
And then it happens. Kurt dials, Blaine’s phone rings and Blaine answers the phone.
“Kurt,” Blaine breathes out. “You heard.”
“You’re okay,” Kurt sobs out, relief flowing through him. It’s an almost heady feeling.
“I’m fine,” Blaine says. “We’re all fine - just stuck in the choir room.”
“Stuck?”
“Lockdown,” Blaine replies. “Phones have been out for the last hour and just came back up.”
Santana leans over him and talks. “How’s Brittany?”
“She’s good,” Blaine answers, his voice ringing out through the speaker phone now. “A little worried at the gunshot we heard was the sound of an asteroid crashing to Earth and the start of the apocalypse, but otherwise fine.”
Santana lets out a choked off laugh as Blaine continues. “Sam’s with her. He’ll keep her safe, Santana.”
She nods and then lets Rachel take her by the hand and lead her into the other room. Adam’s still sitting there on the couch, watching him, but Kurt can’t think about that right now, not when he’s got Blaine on the phone.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Kurt tells him. “My dad called and told me and I…”
“I know,” Blaine says gently. “We’ve been talking about regrets a lot today, so I know how you feel.” Adam grabs his coat and stands up, giving Kurt a soft smile and a kiss on the forehead before showing himself out.
Kurt smiles at him and then turns his attention back to Blaine. “I think we need to have that talk we seem to keep putting off.”
“Yeah,” Blaine agrees, letting out a breath.
“What are you doing for Spring Break?” he asks.
Blaine just chuckles.
*
It doesn’t take Kurt long to realize one thing - what he’s doing to Adam isn’t fair. He loves Blaine, and whether or not he can actually be with Blaine at the moment is irrelevant. Stringing Adam along would only hurt him in the long run and he feels guilty, because that’s what he’s been doing.
So when Adam finds him in the dance studio the next afternoon, it’s with a soft voice and a sad heart that he tells Adam it’s over.
“I had a feeling,” Adam murmurs. “He’s a lucky man.”
“I don’t know if he and I can ever get back to what we were,” Kurt replies. “I just know that being with you while being in love with him isn’t fair to you.”
Adam nods. “Friends?”
“Please,” Kurt agrees. He smiles and then jumps about a mile when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out, seeing a text from Santana. It’s a picture, and he about nearly drops his phone in shock.
It’s a picture of Blaine, along with Finn, Rachel, Sam, Brittany, Tina and Artie - and they’re standing in the main lobby of the NYADA building. All it says at the bottom is “Thought you should see this…”
Kurt’s mouth falls open in shock and he squeaks out an “Oh, my God,” before telling Adam he has to go in a flustered voice.
He does a speed walk toward the main lobby, past the classrooms where various activities were going on, past the auditorium, past the round room, coming to a stop at the top of the staircase, looking over the railing.
Sure enough, there is Blaine (and the rest of his friends), a large smile on his face. Kurt froze - he wanted nothing more than to run down the million stairs and leap into Blaine’s arms but he didn’t know if he could.
Blaine seemed to expect his hesitation, because Sam suddenly starts playing the guitar he’s holding, and Blaine begins to sing. The moment he starts Kurt immediately knows the song - Blaine’s sung it to him before.
It’s not “Teenage Dream”, and for that Kurt is grateful - he doesn’t think that he can hear that song again and not think of that night in the park and Blaine’s tear-filled confession.
Instead it’s “Somewhere Only We know”, the song that Blaine had sung with the Warblers when he’d gone back to McKinley during junior year.
“I walked across an empty land, I knew the pathway like the back of my hand,” he sings, his eyes locked on Kurt. Kurt barely registers at Adam has come up next to him; he can’t look way from Blaine. “I felt the earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete.”
They’re attracting a crowd, Kurt notices out of the corner of his eye, but it doesn’t matter. Blaine won’t care and he doesn’t either - this is New York. Boys singing to other boys don’t matter here like it does in Ohio.
“Oh, simple thing where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on,” Blaine continues. “So tell me when you're gonna let me in, I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.”
Blaine moves and jumps up on a nearby bench and Kurt can’t help the laugh that escapes. Blaine grins as he sings, looking proud of himself. “I came across a fallen tree; I felt the branches of it looking at me. Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?”
Blaine looks at Kurt with such intensity; it kind of steals his breath. Blaine hops down and heads for the stairs. He’s coming up them slowly, singing the chorus with Sam following behind him on the guitar. The rest of their friends are still in the lobby, chiming in as backup. Blaine moves slowly, like he thinks he’s going to spook Kurt or something.
Kurt knows that every part of him shouldn’t want this, that he shouldn’t want Blaine because Blaine hurt him and who would go back to that? But he loves Blaine, loves him, and he can’t run from that anymore.
Suddenly Blaine’s in front of him, singing the last bit of the chorus, staring at him with tears in his eyes.
“So why don’t we go somewhere only we know?” he sings, his voice down to a whisper. “Somewhere only we know…”
Blaine’s face is hopeful and expectant, tears spilling onto his cheeks and Kurt can’t hold back any longer. He flings himself at Blaine, and Blaine catches him, holding him tightly.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” Kurt murmurs into Blaine’s neck, burying his face and breathing deep.
“I couldn’t wait for Spring Break,” Blaine replies. “I had to see you now.”
“I’m so glad.” Kurt holds him tightly.
“You’re happy to see me then?” Blaine asks, pulling back.
“Always,” Kurt tells him, smiling. Blaine’s smile matches his. “I told you; I’m never saying goodbye to you.”
“Excuse me, young man.” Kurt’s spin stiffens as Carmen Tibideaux’s no-nonsense tone rings out over the crowd watching them. “Mr. Hummel, do you know this boy?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Kurt answers.
“Then kindly explain to me why he’s here singing to you and taking over this school when he's not a student?” she asks. “Just because we're in New York, Mr. Hummel, doesn't mean that everyone is free to a rockstar wherever they choose.”
“It’s my fault,” Rachel jumps in. “I told him it would be all right, Madame Tibideaux. He’s a prospective student, and he wanted to check out the campus.”
Carmen’s lips thinned out as she stared at Blaine. Kurt’s heart beat rapidly in his chest, waiting to see what she’d say.
“I see,” she says. “Well then, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us soon, Mr…”
“Anderson,” Blaine fills in. “Blaine Anderson.”
With that, Carmen sweeps away and the crowd starts to slowly disperse.
“I’ll see you later, Kurt,” Adam whispers, touching his arm and walking off. Kurt follows him with his eyes for a second, a small smile on his lips. He turns back to Blaine, who is also watching Adam leave.
“Is that…”
Kurt nods. “Adam.”
“He’s… not what I thought you’d go for.”
Kurt can’t help it; he laughs. “You haven’t heard him speak at length. That accent…”
Blaine’s smile looks a little forced now. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come. You’re happy now and I…”
“Stop,” Kurt says, putting a hand over Blaine’s mouth, resting it lightly on his lips. “We need to talk, but not here.”
“Santana and I will take everyone out for dinner, if you want the loft to yourselves,” Rachel volunteers.
“Thanks,” Kurt says. He meets Blaine’s gaze. It’s now or never and they both know it.
*
That night, Kurt holds Blaine to him tightly when they sleep. It hadn’t been an easy discussion; both of them had said hurtful (though truthful) things, and there had been tears, but overall the air between them is finally clear. Kurt finds himself breathing easier, like a weight he didn’t even know he’d been carrying has been lifted.
Blaine is here in his arms, and Kurt’s never letting him go (well, physically, Blaine will have to go finish out the school year and then come back to New York…). Kurt knows it’ll be different this time - they’re different. They’ve managed to grow up in their time apart.
Blaine presses a delicate kiss to Kurt’s chest, snuffling in his sleep. Neither of them hears the clicking sound of a camera, or Santana and Rachel giggling in the living room. Kurt vaguely hears his phone beep and glances over at it. He’s got an alert showing up and he opens the phone to read it. Blaine’s looking as well, and Kurt can’t help the embarrassed smile that crosses his face when he realizes what he’s looking at. Somehow Santana had taken their picture without his knowledge and posted it to her Facebook. The caption reads “Thought you should see this: Reunited!”
Kurt glances at Blaine and smiles again, kissing him softly.
It’s the best thing he’s ever seen.
Title: Thought You Should See This
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Kurt/Adam, See author's note for the rest (spoilers)
Spoilers: Through 4.17, Spec for 4.18
Word Count: ~6,000
Characters: Kurt/Blaine, Kurt/Adam, Misc canon characters
Disclaimer: Glee and its characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. The songs and all other publicly recognized things are not mine either. :)
Summary: It's the best thing he's ever seen...
Author's Note: This is a combination reaction fic to 4.15 and 4.16, then goes completely AU for 4.17 onward, though I do incorporate some spoilers for 4.18 (One section of this will talk about there being a possible school shooting at McKinley - I don't go into detail, but if this is triggering for you at all, please don't read it). Ultimately, this is a Klaine reunion fic. :D
Super extra thanks to beautifulhigh and star55 for being my lovely betas, and to unproductivepeanut on tumblr, for inspiring this.
Kurt and Adam are just getting back to the Bushwick apartment when Kurt’s phone rings. He answers it without glancing at the ID, letting himself and Adam inside.
Blaine’s voice is in his ear as he catches sight of Rachel and Santana on the couch. Rachel looks upset but Kurt can’t dwell on that because Adam is standing right in front of him and Blaine is on his phone, and oh, this is really awkward.
“Kurt?” Blaine says again.
Kurt clears his throat. “Blaine, hi,” he replies, feeling Adam’s eyes on him. “What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to make sure you guys were doing all right - the news said you got a ton of snow,” Blaine tells him. Kurt can’t help the small smile that comes to his face.
“We’re fine,” he says. “We just camped out for three days and watched movies. NYADA resumed classes today.”
“Oh, what movies?” Blaine wants to know. Kurt debates on answering it as he moves to take of his scarf and kick off his shoes.
“Mainly just Moulin Rouge.”
Blaine goes quiet for a second and Kurt knows exactly what Blaine must be feeling.
“Well, we did movie songs in glee this week,” Blaine finally speaks.
“You did?” Kurt replies, trying to sound cheerful. “That sounds fun.” He kind of shrugs helplessly at Adam. Kurt knows he should hang up - he’s got company, but he can’t bring himself to do it.
“Actually, that’s the other reason why I was calling,” Blaine continues. “I sent you something and I was hoping you and Rachel could watch it and let me know what you think.”
“Now?”
“Yeah,” Blaine says after a moment. “Unless this is a bad-”
“No, it’s just - Adam is here,” Kurt murmurs, feeling much like a museum display with three sets of wide eyes on him.
“Oh.” Blaine’s voice is quiet. “You don’t have to, Kurt, I just… I should let you go.”
“No,” Kurt hastily says. He can’t bear the pain in Blaine’s voice and he hates it because Blaine made this mess and Kurt still can’t bear to see him suffer. “We’ll watch it. Hold on.” He covers the mouth piece of his phone and looks at Rachel. “Blaine sent me something he wants us to watch. You up for that?”
Rachel takes a deep breath and nods. “Of course.”
“Are you okay? Brody’s not actually a drug dealer, is he?” Kurt asks. Rachel’s smile falters for a second, but she shakes her head. He promises himself that they’ll talk about that later. “Blaine?” Kurt says into the phone.
“Yeah,” Blaine replies. He sounds subdued and Kurt holds in a sigh. “It’s in your email.”
“Okay.” Kurt picks up his laptop and settles next to Rachel on the couch. Adam hasn’t said anything but he sort of leans behind them, looking over Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt knows it’s probably because he wants to see what Blaine looks like, to see exactly what he’s competing against. “I’m going to put you on speaker phone.”
“Okay,” Blaine agrees. Kurt taps the button on his phone and then holds it out.
“You there?”
“Yeah,” Blaine says. Kurt tries to see Adam’s reaction to Blaine’s voice out of the corner of his eye, but it’s too hard to manage while opening his email.
“Hi, Blaine,” Rachel greets, her cheerfulness sounding kind of forced.
“Hi, Rachel,” Blaine tells her.
“What I am, chopped liver?” Santana asks.
“Of course not,” Blaine replies. “Hi, Santana.”
“That’s better,” Santana grumbles. “You didn’t send the dynamic duo anything dirty, did you?”
“Santana!” Kurt snaps, glaring at her. He's afraid to look at Adam and see his reaction to that.
“What? I was just curious. He’s made out with both of you. I don’t know what you three got up to in your private time.” She examines her nails, oblivious to Kurt’s glare.
“Murder is a crime, Kurt,” Blaine says, seemingly from nowhere.
“I didn’t-” Kurt stutters out.
“You were thinking it.” Kurt hates it, but Blaine’s right. He finds the email and clicks it open. The subject line is listed as “Thought you should see this” but it’s the file name that’s attached that gets his attention.
The New Directions are like rockstars.
Kurt giggles. “Blaine, what did you do?”
“What?” Rachel asks.
“Oh, you know,” Blaine answers, laughing. “Impromptu performance. We kinda shut the school down for a while. The usual.”
Kurt giggles again, he can’t help it. He’s flashing back to that moment, the day he met Blaine and “The Warblers are like rockstars,” and it’s been a really long time since then.
“What’s so funny?” Santana glares, clearly hating that she's been left out of the joke.
“The day we met, Blaine told me the Warblers were like rockstars and their performances shut the school down for a while.” Kurt explains. “Looks like it’s not just the Warblers anymore.”
“You talk a big game, Anderson,” Santana replies.
“Just watch,” Blaine tells them, and Kurt can clearly picture the eye roll he must be doing.
Kurt clicks the file and it opens. Seeing Blaine again is like a punch in the gut, especially after the high emotions of the last few days. He tries not to let it show as he watches Blaine toss his satchel down in the school hallway. He makes a mental note to scold Blaine for that later - it’s a three hundred dollar bag.
Blaine and Brittany lead New Directions in “Shout” and it’s crazy. Kurt can hardly believe his eyes as the song takes them all over the school, even the library. It seems like the entire student body joins in as they go, ending the performance in the lunchroom, completely with dancing on the table tops.
Kurt tries to downplay his reaction but it’s a great performance and it’s really kind of amazing that they managed to get the entire school involved.
“And not one piece of food was thrown,” Santana says at the end of the song. “That is an improvement.”
Adam hasn’t said anything and Kurt’s not sure what he’s thinking, but he doesn’t have time to focus on that because Blaine speaks up.
“So,” he says, “I was thinking about this as a possible candidate for my NYADA audition.”
“You’re auditioning for NYADA?” It’s Adam who’s the first to reply, and Kurt turns to look at him.
“Yeah,” Blaine murmurs softly, after a long pause. Kurt has no idea what to do here. He’s never been in a situation like this.
“You got your letter?” Kurt continues. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Not yet,” Blaine says. “They go out soon though; I want to start working on something. After the hard time you guys had…” he trails off. Kurt can’t help but think of this time last year, when he’d been preparing for his own audition and how badly it’d gone in the end.
“Whatever you do, don’t choke,” Santana tells him.
“I’ll remember that,” Blaine replies. “So…”
“Well, I mean, it’s a good performance, Blaine,” Rachel says. “And I think you could do a lot with the song, and it works really well for your voice.”
“Kurt?” Blaine prompts.
“Carmen told me I didn’t get in initially because my performance was all show and no soul,” Kurt answers. “With a song like ‘Shout,’ I think you could possibly run into the same problem.”
“Okay,” Blaine agrees. “I’ll take it off the list. Thanks.” He pauses. “I’m sorry for interrupting. I’ll let you go now.”
“Okay,” Kurt says quietly. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Say hi to everyone for us!” Rachel exclaims.
Blaine promises that he will, and they say goodbye.
Silence fills the loft and Kurt has no idea what to do to break it.
“Well, this is awkward,” Santana says. “I’m going to go see if drug dealer Ken is out of the shower.”
“Santana!” Rachel hisses, getting up to follow her.
“Sorry about that,” Kurt apologizes. “Did you want to watch that movie?”
There’s a moment of silence and Kurt wonders if Adam is struggling to come up with something to say. Adam finally just nods and holds up a DVD.
Kurt smiles.
*
It’s almost exactly a week before Blaine calls again. They’ve texted a little bit here and there, friendly stuff, most of it glee related. Kurt’s been busy with classes and Blaine’s had his stuff too and it was difficult to get the other on the phone.
He’s rushing around in the flurry, Blaine on speaker phone so he can have his hands free. “Crap,” he mutters.
“What?” Blaine asks, cutting his story about Sue and the Cheerios off before it even really got started.
“I can’t find the scarf I wanted to wear and Adam’s going to be here any minute,” Kurt replies without thinking.
“So… you’re still seeing him,” Blaine says.
“Yes,” Kurt replies, his voice soft. He feels like he should try and explain himself to Blaine but he’s not sure he can without hurting him. He hates that this is so hard. “We’re going to a movie.”
“Should I let you go?” Blaine asks after a moment.
“No, keep talking,” Kurt encourages. “This is the first time we’ve talked in a week.”
“Okay,” Blaine continues, starting in again on his story about Sue and the Cheerios. Kurt walks into the other room as Blaine is talking, focused on Blaine’s words and looking for his scarf.
“And you’d think she’d stop at the hair gel and the identity theft, but no…” Blaine draws out the last word, and Kurt can hear the anger in his voice. “She had to hire a plane to fly a sign over the school.”
“A sign?” Kurt repeats, spotting his scarf on the floor, just under the couch. He bends down to get it, as Blaine finishes up.
“Yeah,” Blaine says. “It said ‘Blaine is on the bottom,’ which isn’t true, not really.” Kurt can’t believe the sudden turn this conversation as taken, but before he can say anything, Santana speaks up from behind him.
“Well,” she says. Kurt hits his head on the frame of the couch, startled.
“Ouch!” he mutters, turning to look behind him. Rachel and Santana have clearly just arrived home, and let Adam in with them.
“I’ve always wondered which of you pitched and which of you caught,” Santana continues, clearly enjoying Kurt’s embarrassment.
“Oh, my God,” Kurt manages to get out. He holds up a finger at Adam and mouths ‘one minute,’ before disappearing back into his room to finish getting ready. “So, what did you do?” he prompts Blaine.
Blaine clears his throat. “Well, we had a sing-off.”
“Please tell me you won.”
“Check your texts,” Blaine says. Kurt scrolls over and checks, and sure enough, there’s a pic from Blaine.
In a Cheerios uniform.
His reaction is not one that he wants to have. The uniform does amazing things for Blaine’s body and he shouldn’t be affected by it but he really, really is.
“Oh, Blaine,” he finally breathes out, when he can bring himself to speak. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Blaine replies, sounding cheerful. “Sam and I have a plan to take her down.”
“You’re kidding.” Kurt can’t believe his ears.
“She’s terrorized her last class of students, if I have anything to say about it.” Blaine seems determined, but Kurt knows that Sue Sylvester is no one to mess around with. Kurt heads back into the living room, spotting Adam on the couch. He knows he needs to wrap this up now. “I don’t care what it takes,” Blaine continues his rant. “Even if I do have to wear a thong.”
Rachel spits out the sip of coffee she’d just taken, and Santana is crumpled over, laughing. Kurt actually slaps his palm to his forehead. “You’re on speaker phone, you know.”
“I don’t even care, I’m so mad,” Blaine tells him.
“Well, Adam’s here, so I have to go.”
“Okay,” Blaine agrees after a moment. “We’ll talk soon.”
“Of course.”
Kurt hangs up and tries to pretend his face is not as red as it feels. “Ready to go?” he asks Adam.
“After you,” Adam replies, and Kurt is relieved that he doesn’t comment.
*
Kurt now tries to keep Adam’s visits and Blaine’s phone calls from overlapping. It’s not an easy feat, but there are no more embarrassing and awkward moments. He’s not sure what this thing with Adam is - Kurt likes him of course, and he finds Adam attractive - but he knows that part of him is still hanging on to Blaine, and that part is so much louder. Still, he’s stubborn. Kurt can’t bring himself to end things with Adam when he likes him so much.
At the moment, he and Adam are curled up on the couch, watching a Downton Abby marathon and quoting along with the characters. It’s fun and it’s certainly something he never did with Blaine.
“You hungry?” Adam asks, pausing the DVD player.
“I could eat,” Kurt answers. “Unfortunately, it’s Santana’s week to do the shopping and we don’t really have much right now.”
“What if I ran out and grabbed us some snacks?” Adam offers. “I’ll get all of your favorites.”
“Sounds good,” Kurt agrees. Adam smiles and throws on his jacket with a smile before letting himself out. Kurt leans his head back and sighs. “This dating stuff is bananas,” he mutters.
His laptop beeps, indicating a new email, so he pulls it into his lap, and opens it up.
Tina’s email address stares back him with the subject line, “Thought you should see this…,” and Kurt feels a sudden déjà vu. He clicks on the email and opens it up, reading quickly.
Kurt,
I thought you should see this. He doesn’t know I recorded it or that I’m sending it to you. I just… thought you should know how he feels.
Love,
Tina
There’s a file attached entitled “AAO.” He’s not sure if he wants to open it or not - it’s clearly something having to do with Blaine, but if Blaine didn’t know he was being recorded, then Kurt feels kind of weird about watching it. Plus, Adam could come back at any time and then where would he be?
He bites his lip and then closes the laptop. He picks up their empty water bottles and drops in them in the recycling bin. He folds the blanket they’d been using on the couch and then sits back down. His laptop is sitting there, mocking him now.
“Oh, fine,” he snaps out loud, picking up the laptop, opening it back up and clicking on that file.
The picture is dark and kind of grainy, obviously taken in bad lighting, but he can tell that Blaine is behind the piano, playing.
And then Kurt recognizes the song. He knows the lyrics - he’s always kind of considered it a cheesy eighties pop ballad, but with Blaine singing it’s like a knife to the chest.
Blaine’s still waiting for him. Blaine loves him. Blaine knows he’s never coming back and he can’t…
He doesn’t realize he’s crying, the song still playing, until Adam’s standing in front of him.
“Are you all right?” Adam asks. Kurt blinks up at him through his tears.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come back,” Kurt replies. “I-"
The song plays on, the sound of Blaine’s voice breaking as he sings reaching his ears. It’s awful. He’s causing Blaine this pain and he doesn’t know how to stop it. At the same time, Blaine hurt him so much and he doesn’t know how to fix this.
Adam’s strong arms wrap around him. Kurt knows he should push Adam away, that what’s he’s doing is not fair - after all, Adam is comforting him over an ex-boyfriend - but he can’t.
“Did he send that?” Adam asks softly, when Kurt’s crying calms down. Kurt shakes his head.
“Tina, one our friends,” Kurt whispers. “He doesn’t even know she recorded it.”
“He loves you,” Adam says.
“Then how could he hurt me so much?”
“Did you ask him?” Adam wants to know. “What did he tell you?”
“Just that he was lonely and there was someone else,” Kurt can barely bring himself to say the words. “He said he needed me and I wasn’t there, but he’s the one who told me to go!”
Kurt’s anger surprises him and sniffles, pulling away from Adam.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt tells him. “You didn’t sign up for any of this.”
“It’s worth it,” Adam replies. Kurt stares at him. “You said a few weeks ago that you want to be over him.”
“I do,” Kurt whispers. He wants it more than anything because it actually hurts to love Blaine. The thing is, Kurt doesn’t know how not to love him either.
“Then I think you need to ask him what really happened,” Adam suggests. “You need to listen to what he says.”
“And then?”
Adam looks a little sad for a second. “You decide if you can truly forgive him and take him back, or if you’re better off without him.” Kurt looks down as Adam takes his hand. “Either way, I’ll be here.”
“You’re too good to me,” Kurt murmurs. He wishes he could love Adam the way Adam deserves.
The song comes to an end but Kurt’s still crying, and he’s not sure he can stop it. He cried when Blaine first told him, but after that he refused to let himself cry over Blaine.
Then he hears voices. There’s more to the recording and Blaine isn’t by himself anymore. He and Adam both turn to look at the laptop screen.
“Blaine, dude,” Sam says, walking into the frame and sitting next to Blaine on the piano bench. “You gotta let him go.”
“Sam…” Blaine trails off, sniffling.
“This isn’t good for you,” Sam says. “You’re torturing yourself.”
“I love him.”
“I know you do,” Sam’s voice is soft. “But he’s moved on. Aren’t you tired of punishing yourself?”
“Do you remember last year when we did Whitney week?” Blaine asks, seeming from out of nowhere.
“Sure,” Sam replies. “You got up in front of everyone and sang a song about Kurt ch…” he stumbles over the word. “Cheating on you.”
Kurt’s face flushes hotly at Sam’s words and he knows that Adam is staring at him.
“I had pulled away from him,” Blaine murmurs. “I was worried about what would happen when he left and he was lonely and hurting, so he turned to someone else to make him feel better.”
“Blaine…”
“I just - I know what I did was worse, okay?” Blaine mutters. “But I forgave him for that. I just wish he could find it in his heart to forgive me.”
Kurt disentangles himself from Adam and sinks down on the couch. The situations between him and Blaine are eerily similar, and he wonders why he hasn’t seen it before now.
“Just… think about it, okay?” Sam asks. “You deserve to be happy too.”
Blaine nods and then the video suddenly swirls around to show Tina’s face. She’s crying.
“Either forgive him or let him go, Kurt,” Tina whispers sadly. “He can’t do this anymore and I’m sure you can’t either.”
The thing is, Kurt doesn’t know how to do either one.
*
It’s awkward between him and Adam after that night. They’re still dating, as far as Kurt can tell - no discussions about the status of their relationship have been had. He’s kind of dreading it though because he feels like one is coming. Kurt knows that he’s going to have to let Adam go, because Kurt is messed up. Kurt is a complete and utter mess and it’s not fair to Adam to make him think there would be more if there won’t.
For now he’s living in denial, enjoying his time with Adam.
At the moment he’s sitting next to Adam in the living room of the loft. It’s Thursday afternoon, and normally he and Adam would be alone, but today they’re not. Santana’s not working and Rachel got out of class early so the four of them had put in a movie to pass the time. Rachel’s curled up in an afghan on the chair, and Santana’s stretched out on the couch with him and Adam, her feet in Kurt’s lap. Kurt is painstakingly painting her toenails, something he learned how to do well over the years, thanks to sleepovers with girls.
If Kurt ignores the elephant in the room it’s not been a bad afternoon so far.
The phone rings, disturbing the silence. It’s Kurt’s and Santana drops her feet down with a sigh, taking the nail polish bottle from him when he gets up to answer it. She’s takes over on her toenails as he glances at the caller ID.
“Dad, hi,” Kurt says into the phone.
“Hi, kiddo.” His dad’s deep timber reaches his ears and Kurt smiles. He’s missed his dad.
“What’s up?” Kurt asks. Burt clears his throat and that’s Kurt’s first sign that this call is not a happy one.
“Are you sitting down?”
“No…” Kurt says, trailing off softly. “Should I be?”
“Possibly,” Burt replies. Kurt sinks back into the couch, feeling the blood drain from his face.
“What? Are you sick? Is it the cancer?” Kurt burst out. “Please, Dad-" he chokes out, tears forming in his eyes. Rachel gets up and sits on his other side as Adam pauses the movie.
“No,” Burt answers, and Kurt lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “It’s not me, son - or Finn or Carole, before you ask.”
Kurt sucks in a breath, because if it’s not one of them, then it can only be… “Blaine.” He exhales. “Dad, what?”
It has to be bad if his dad is the one calling. Because if his dad is calling then it means that Blaine can’t make the call himself.
“Are you home?” Burt asks.
“Yeah,” Kurt manages to get out. His dad tells him to turn on the TV, to switch it over to CNN. Kurt does so blindly and when the screen comes up, his anguished sound is matched by Rachel’s and Santana’s.
The tagline at the bottom of the screen reads: McKinley High under fire?
“Finn?” Kurt gasps out his brother’s name, even though Burt had said Finn was fine.
“He’s not there,” Burt says. “He called me from the shop this morning when he heard the news.”
“Blaine?” he asks in a small voice.
“I don’t know,” Burt tells him, and Kurt can’t breathe. His chest is tight and there’s this pressure, like someone’s squeezing him. Santana takes the phone from him and puts it on speaker. “There’s not a lot of information right now,” Burt continues. “At least one gunshot was confirmed, and the school is on lockdown while they look for the shooter.”
Tears are spilling down his face now and Kurt is shaking. He can’t speak. Forming words is a concept beyond him at the moment.
“Are there any injuries?” Adam’s the one that asks, and if Burt is surprised by the unfamiliar voice, he doesn’t say anything.
“No one’s reported any so far, but it’ll be a while before we can get an accurate report of what’s going on there,” Burt says. “Cell service is down and no one in the office is answering any calls.”
“Maybe Blaine didn’t go to school today,” Kurt mumbles, his mind racing with possibilities. He’s worried about his other friends too, but Blaine…
“I called his house, kiddo,” Burt replies in a soft voice. “His mother says he went to school today. She’s freaking out too.”
“Now she cares,” Kurt snaps, wiping his tears away.
“I thought you should hear this from me,” Burt finishes up. “I’m on my way down to get some answers.”
“Will they tell you?” Kurt asks.
“I’m a congressman,” Burt answers. “I’ll make them.” He sighs. “I’ll call you when I have an update, okay?”
“Okay,” Kurt manages to get out. “I love you.”
“I love you too, kiddo.”
They turn up the volume on the TV, listening as the announcer talks about McKinley. One person even goes as far as to discuss the bullying at the school and Kurt wonders if his complaint about Karofsky was included in that. It’s strange, he’s kind of watching with a strange detachment. Santana and Rachel are both crying, having moved so they’re snuggled up with him and Adam on the couch. It’s a tight fit, but none of them complain. He knows that Satana’s worried about Brittany, and all of them are worried about their other friends. What if something happened to Sam or Tina or Artie?
He can’t take it anymore and lifts his phone, pressing Blaine’s name on his contact list. Kurt knows his dad said cell service was down, but he has to try.
The not knowing will drive him insane.
The phone doesn’t even ring. He gets a computerized voice that says the call “can’t be connected at this time.”
He dials again, and again, and again.
It has to go through.
He sees Santana get her phone and try as well, probably to reach Brittany.
His frustration mounts as they continually receive the recording.
He doesn’t realize he’s crying again until Adam tries to take the phone from him. Kurt jerks his arm way.
“Kurt, calling isn’t going to do any good,” Adam reasons. “The signal is jammed.”
“I have to try,” Kurt replies. He can’t just sit there do nothing. He has to do something. He has to talk to Blaine and tell him - tell him that he’s sorry too, and that he forgives him. Kurt has to tell Blaine that he loves him because the thought that Blaine could die without knowing that is more than he can stand.
He chants under his breath, begging for the call to complete, for the phone to ring, for some kind of connection between his phone and Blaine’s to happen. Kurt is a person of action - he can’t just sit and do nothing and yet that’s all he can do, because he’s miles away.
The mood in the loft is tense. The TV drones on in the background and Kurt loses track of the time. He focuses only on one thing - pressing the “call” and “end call” buttons on his phone.
He assumes that Santana has done the same. Rachel’s a mother hen over both of them, making tea he can’t bring himself to drink. Adam is calm, rational support - he points out that the news has no reports casualties or injuries and that the gunman had probably already left the school, and that Blaine and their other friends were fine.
It doesn’t matter though, because Kurt can’t stop. He needs to hear Blaine’s voice, to know that he’s okay.
And then it happens. Kurt dials, Blaine’s phone rings and Blaine answers the phone.
“Kurt,” Blaine breathes out. “You heard.”
“You’re okay,” Kurt sobs out, relief flowing through him. It’s an almost heady feeling.
“I’m fine,” Blaine says. “We’re all fine - just stuck in the choir room.”
“Stuck?”
“Lockdown,” Blaine replies. “Phones have been out for the last hour and just came back up.”
Santana leans over him and talks. “How’s Brittany?”
“She’s good,” Blaine answers, his voice ringing out through the speaker phone now. “A little worried at the gunshot we heard was the sound of an asteroid crashing to Earth and the start of the apocalypse, but otherwise fine.”
Santana lets out a choked off laugh as Blaine continues. “Sam’s with her. He’ll keep her safe, Santana.”
She nods and then lets Rachel take her by the hand and lead her into the other room. Adam’s still sitting there on the couch, watching him, but Kurt can’t think about that right now, not when he’s got Blaine on the phone.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Kurt tells him. “My dad called and told me and I…”
“I know,” Blaine says gently. “We’ve been talking about regrets a lot today, so I know how you feel.” Adam grabs his coat and stands up, giving Kurt a soft smile and a kiss on the forehead before showing himself out.
Kurt smiles at him and then turns his attention back to Blaine. “I think we need to have that talk we seem to keep putting off.”
“Yeah,” Blaine agrees, letting out a breath.
“What are you doing for Spring Break?” he asks.
Blaine just chuckles.
*
It doesn’t take Kurt long to realize one thing - what he’s doing to Adam isn’t fair. He loves Blaine, and whether or not he can actually be with Blaine at the moment is irrelevant. Stringing Adam along would only hurt him in the long run and he feels guilty, because that’s what he’s been doing.
So when Adam finds him in the dance studio the next afternoon, it’s with a soft voice and a sad heart that he tells Adam it’s over.
“I had a feeling,” Adam murmurs. “He’s a lucky man.”
“I don’t know if he and I can ever get back to what we were,” Kurt replies. “I just know that being with you while being in love with him isn’t fair to you.”
Adam nods. “Friends?”
“Please,” Kurt agrees. He smiles and then jumps about a mile when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out, seeing a text from Santana. It’s a picture, and he about nearly drops his phone in shock.
It’s a picture of Blaine, along with Finn, Rachel, Sam, Brittany, Tina and Artie - and they’re standing in the main lobby of the NYADA building. All it says at the bottom is “Thought you should see this…”
Kurt’s mouth falls open in shock and he squeaks out an “Oh, my God,” before telling Adam he has to go in a flustered voice.
He does a speed walk toward the main lobby, past the classrooms where various activities were going on, past the auditorium, past the round room, coming to a stop at the top of the staircase, looking over the railing.
Sure enough, there is Blaine (and the rest of his friends), a large smile on his face. Kurt froze - he wanted nothing more than to run down the million stairs and leap into Blaine’s arms but he didn’t know if he could.
Blaine seemed to expect his hesitation, because Sam suddenly starts playing the guitar he’s holding, and Blaine begins to sing. The moment he starts Kurt immediately knows the song - Blaine’s sung it to him before.
It’s not “Teenage Dream”, and for that Kurt is grateful - he doesn’t think that he can hear that song again and not think of that night in the park and Blaine’s tear-filled confession.
Instead it’s “Somewhere Only We know”, the song that Blaine had sung with the Warblers when he’d gone back to McKinley during junior year.
“I walked across an empty land, I knew the pathway like the back of my hand,” he sings, his eyes locked on Kurt. Kurt barely registers at Adam has come up next to him; he can’t look way from Blaine. “I felt the earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete.”
They’re attracting a crowd, Kurt notices out of the corner of his eye, but it doesn’t matter. Blaine won’t care and he doesn’t either - this is New York. Boys singing to other boys don’t matter here like it does in Ohio.
“Oh, simple thing where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on,” Blaine continues. “So tell me when you're gonna let me in, I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.”
Blaine moves and jumps up on a nearby bench and Kurt can’t help the laugh that escapes. Blaine grins as he sings, looking proud of himself. “I came across a fallen tree; I felt the branches of it looking at me. Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?”
Blaine looks at Kurt with such intensity; it kind of steals his breath. Blaine hops down and heads for the stairs. He’s coming up them slowly, singing the chorus with Sam following behind him on the guitar. The rest of their friends are still in the lobby, chiming in as backup. Blaine moves slowly, like he thinks he’s going to spook Kurt or something.
Kurt knows that every part of him shouldn’t want this, that he shouldn’t want Blaine because Blaine hurt him and who would go back to that? But he loves Blaine, loves him, and he can’t run from that anymore.
Suddenly Blaine’s in front of him, singing the last bit of the chorus, staring at him with tears in his eyes.
“So why don’t we go somewhere only we know?” he sings, his voice down to a whisper. “Somewhere only we know…”
Blaine’s face is hopeful and expectant, tears spilling onto his cheeks and Kurt can’t hold back any longer. He flings himself at Blaine, and Blaine catches him, holding him tightly.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” Kurt murmurs into Blaine’s neck, burying his face and breathing deep.
“I couldn’t wait for Spring Break,” Blaine replies. “I had to see you now.”
“I’m so glad.” Kurt holds him tightly.
“You’re happy to see me then?” Blaine asks, pulling back.
“Always,” Kurt tells him, smiling. Blaine’s smile matches his. “I told you; I’m never saying goodbye to you.”
“Excuse me, young man.” Kurt’s spin stiffens as Carmen Tibideaux’s no-nonsense tone rings out over the crowd watching them. “Mr. Hummel, do you know this boy?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Kurt answers.
“Then kindly explain to me why he’s here singing to you and taking over this school when he's not a student?” she asks. “Just because we're in New York, Mr. Hummel, doesn't mean that everyone is free to a rockstar wherever they choose.”
“It’s my fault,” Rachel jumps in. “I told him it would be all right, Madame Tibideaux. He’s a prospective student, and he wanted to check out the campus.”
Carmen’s lips thinned out as she stared at Blaine. Kurt’s heart beat rapidly in his chest, waiting to see what she’d say.
“I see,” she says. “Well then, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us soon, Mr…”
“Anderson,” Blaine fills in. “Blaine Anderson.”
With that, Carmen sweeps away and the crowd starts to slowly disperse.
“I’ll see you later, Kurt,” Adam whispers, touching his arm and walking off. Kurt follows him with his eyes for a second, a small smile on his lips. He turns back to Blaine, who is also watching Adam leave.
“Is that…”
Kurt nods. “Adam.”
“He’s… not what I thought you’d go for.”
Kurt can’t help it; he laughs. “You haven’t heard him speak at length. That accent…”
Blaine’s smile looks a little forced now. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come. You’re happy now and I…”
“Stop,” Kurt says, putting a hand over Blaine’s mouth, resting it lightly on his lips. “We need to talk, but not here.”
“Santana and I will take everyone out for dinner, if you want the loft to yourselves,” Rachel volunteers.
“Thanks,” Kurt says. He meets Blaine’s gaze. It’s now or never and they both know it.
*
That night, Kurt holds Blaine to him tightly when they sleep. It hadn’t been an easy discussion; both of them had said hurtful (though truthful) things, and there had been tears, but overall the air between them is finally clear. Kurt finds himself breathing easier, like a weight he didn’t even know he’d been carrying has been lifted.
Blaine is here in his arms, and Kurt’s never letting him go (well, physically, Blaine will have to go finish out the school year and then come back to New York…). Kurt knows it’ll be different this time - they’re different. They’ve managed to grow up in their time apart.
Blaine presses a delicate kiss to Kurt’s chest, snuffling in his sleep. Neither of them hears the clicking sound of a camera, or Santana and Rachel giggling in the living room. Kurt vaguely hears his phone beep and glances over at it. He’s got an alert showing up and he opens the phone to read it. Blaine’s looking as well, and Kurt can’t help the embarrassed smile that crosses his face when he realizes what he’s looking at. Somehow Santana had taken their picture without his knowledge and posted it to her Facebook. The caption reads “Thought you should see this: Reunited!”
Kurt glances at Blaine and smiles again, kissing him softly.
It’s the best thing he’s ever seen.