Invisible Illness: Chapter 1
Media: (Fic)
Title: Invisible Illness Chapter 1
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Spoilers (if any): None
Warnings (if any): Descriptions of pain
Word Count: 1900+
Summary: Kurt suffers from his first of many headaches. How does he cope with something this horrible, when he needs it so little?
Author's Note: This is a therapy fic. I'm writing this as a way to cope with the struggles that come with Invisible Illnesses, both having one myself, and living with a family member with multiple ones. If at any time the characters in this story seem to have struggles so far out there, that it all seems made up, please keep in mind that these are the struggles of those living with Invisible Illnesses every day, and none of them are made up.
Invisible Illnesses expected to turn up in this story: Chronic Migraines, Multiple Sclerosis, Fibromyalgia, and Diabetes. Others may make appearances, but these you can be sure will show up.
To everyone who commented on the prologue thanking me for writing this story: No thanks is needed. I've suffered from Chronic Migraines since March of 2008 when they first started. My mother has suffered from Fibromyalgia since she was 18 years old. She's been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis since August of last year. My grandmother lived over 20 years with Diabetes. The stigma regarding Invisible Illnesses that they're *not real* is something I desperately hate, and am passionate about. Being told that I'm a hypochondriac for complaining of a Migraine every other day for 2 years, just kills me. This story is for all of those who have ever been told "You're faking it." or "It's not real." This story is for all of those who have ever had someone believe they weren't in pain, when they were in more pain than they could deal with. I hope you all enjoy :)
April 1st, 2011
Kurt was in the middle of his AP European History class with Mr. Marlow when he first felt the twinge in the middle of his head. Okay it wasn’t quite the middle of his head. It was more the right side middle of his head. If you were to take your finger and trace it up from the tip of your right ear and go about 3 inches up your head, you’d feel the spot that the twinges started to hit. At first, Kurt thought nothing of them. ‘It’s just a headache’ He thought to himself, knowing that people have headaches all the time. He quickly dug into his messenger bag and pulled out a packet of Advil that he had kept there ever since his McKinley days. Countless days of being shoved into lockers and tossed into dumpsters required some sort of pain relievers on hand at all times. He was glad that Dalton had a lax policy on over the counter pain relievers. It stated that students may bring OTC medications for their own personal use to school, and they wouldn’t have to check them in with the nurse. However if they were ever caught giving those medications to another student, they were royally screwed. (Okay so that wasn’t the precise wording in the Student Handbook, but it seemed to get the point across.)
He popped the two Advil into his mouth and grabbed a drink of the water that he had on hand at all times. Normally if he had a headache he’d try and deal with the pain and not take any drugs to make it go away, however Mr. Marlow was giving an important lecture and hinted that 90% of the next test was going to be on this material so Kurt decided he better be safe than sorry. He couldn’t afford to fail the next test. He had been spending so much time with the Warblers and Blaine that he had flunked his last AP Euro test, and if he didn’t at least get a B on this one…he would risk getting on Academic Probation.
The pain in his head wasn’t that bad, it was manageable and if he focused on his teacher’s lecture and on the notes that he should be taking, he almost didn’t feel it. Almost being the operative word.
About 30 minutes later the class was finally over, but the headache was slowly getting worse. The pain kept rising at a steady pace, which he was thankful for. At least it wasn’t going from 0 to 10 in 5 minutes, but at the same time, he wished he could just get rid of it all together. But that wasn’t the only thing that was bothering him about this stupid headache. The fluorescent lights that seemed to be in every room just made things…worse. It was like he had just woken up from a 3 hour nap and someone was shining a flashlight in his face. Couldn’t deal with the pain that came with the light.
He gathered up his things and walked out of the classroom. Blaine who was coming out of another classroom just a couple doors down ran over to him. “Hey Kurt.” He said as he wound his right arm around Kurt’s hip and pulled Kurt in for a quick kiss.
“Hey.” Kurt replied a tad bit distracted from the pain currently coursing through his head. As he pulled his bag over his shoulder he rubbed his head a little bit, and that’s when Blaine noticed something was up.
“Kurt what’s wrong? Head hurt?” Kurt nodded.
“Yea, all of a sudden halfway through last class my head started to pound. It’s like someone took a railroad spike and started jamming it into this one particular spot of my brain.” He told his boyfriend, as he absent mindedly rubbed the spot on his head that was currently bothering him.
“Could it be a tension headache? You’ve got that big term paper coming up.” Kurt shrugged.
“It’s possible. But I’m not really all that tense.” Kurt told him. Kurt used to be tense all the time when he was going to school at McKinley, but since he transferred to Dalton, he had eased up, and most of the latent-tension from his bullied-days was gone.
“Well why don’t we go test that theory. Let’s grab some lunch and bring it into the Junior Commons. We can eat, and then see if we can try and de-stress you.” Blaine flirtatiously told him, batting his eyelashes overdramatically. Kurt smiled and nodded as they walked side by side towards the cafeteria.
By the time they got to the Junior Commons Kurt’s headache had gotten even worse, and the light from the sun was really bothering him. Blaine sat down on the couch, as Kurt went to close the large dusty curtains that hadn’t been cleaned properly in about 20 years. After making the room substantially darker, Kurt sat down into the couch and tried to relax. They talked as they ate, quietly because they didn’t want to draw any attention to themselves in the common room, since if they did…anyone might come in and interrupt them, not something they wanted to happen.
As they were quietly whispering about Blaine’s English class and how his teacher had an obsession with
Mark Twain Kurt felt another set of stabbing pains in his head, enough that he whimpered out in pain and clutched his hands to his head. “Kurt, are you okay?” Kurt shook his head, and Blaine watched as his boyfriend took his head into his hands and just silently sobbed, not knowing what to do. He tried the only thing he could think of, and that was a massage that might relieve some of the tension Kurt was storing in his neck. As he began to rub his hands over his boyfriend’s neck and shoulders, Kurt tensed a little and was still sobbing quietly into his hands. Kurt threw up his hands and stood up while cringing.
“Please stop. You’re making it worse.” Blaine looked hurt, but knew it wasn’t Kurt’s fault.
“I’m sorry Kurt.” His boyfriend sighed and sat back down, this time pulling Blaine back to rest on the couch and curling into him.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one with a head who won’t stop feeling like there’s a knife sticking out of it.” Kurt grumbled, taking what little comfort he could, being with his boyfriend even if his boyfriend couldn’t really touch him without making this headache worse.
“Maybe you should go to the nurse?” Blaine asked, and Kurt shook his head.
“What is she going to do? Hand me two Tylenol and send me back to class? I already took advil in the middle of last class, it’s just not working.”
“Maybe you can lie down in one of the beds in her office, sleep it off?” Kurt shook his head.
“Can’t, I have a test after lunch. PoliSci with Beaker. You know how Beaker doesn’t let you make up tests for any reason besides death, yours not anyone elses.” Blaine sighed. Having had Beaker last semester, he knew exactly how he was in regards to testing. He reluctantly agreed with Kurt and just sat there, every once in a while pressing a kiss into his boyfriend’s hair an act that only he could ever get away with. Kurt turned to face him after a few moments. “You know…maybe some light making out will help it go away…endorphins you know?” he smiled as Blaine leaned in and slowly pressed his lips to Kurt’s. It was slow and passionate, just what they both wanted and what Kurt needed. Kurt didn’t need frantic with hands moving everywhere and Blaine accidentally exciting him more than he should be excited right now, but this was sweet. It was nice. It was exactly what Kurt loved about his and Blaine’s relationship.
However after a few minutes (and a few deep panting breaths for air) Kurt realized that the endorphin theory really wasn’t working. It was also time for class, which neither of them wanted to go to. But they had to. So they did.
_______
By the time Kurt got home that day after school his headache had gotten worse. If anyone were to ask how bad it was, based on a scale of 1-10, he’d have to say about a 6 or a 7. Around lunch it had been a 4 or a 5. It was getting progressively worse, and he had no clue why. Right before he left school he popped another two advil to try and handle the stupid thing, but after an hour of driving, it hadn’t done anything. Which is why Kurt ended up storming up to his room, not saying hello to his stepbrother or stepmother, both of whom were sitting on the living room couch watching TV.
As he opened the door to his room he flung himself onto his bed and buried his head into his pink fuzzy pillow and felt like screaming, but knew that if he tried screaming it would probably only make his head worse. For the 2nd time that day Kurt sobbed, into his pillow as the fabric quickly soaked up any tears that escaped his ever-color-changing eyes. But the sobbing only made his head worse. The shaky breaths, the quick jolts of the head, made the migraine ten times worse. It was horrible. He couldn’t stand it. Why was this happening to him? Why did he have this headache that just wouldn’t go away? He was so absorbed into himself that he hadn’t even noticed when Carole walked into his room and sat on the edge of his bed. “Honey, are you okay?” She asked him, not used to him crying for no reason. Kurt was very strong, she knew this and even when he was being bullied and having his life threatened at McKinley, he never cried over it.
Kurt looked up and shook his head and gulped. “I feel horrible.” He told the closest thing he had to a mother nowadays. She, in a move known to all mothers everywhere, placed her hand against his forehead to see if he was running a fever (cause who resorts to using thermometers, really?)
“What’s wrong Kurt?”
“My head is killing me.” He sobbed out to her, a vulnerability he rarely lets anyone but his father see. “I took advil at lunch, and again about an hour ago…but it’s doing nothing.” Carole sighed and stood as Kurt dropped his head into his pillow again. Carole came back after a few minutes with a wet cool washcloth and nudged him to turn over.
“Here, put this on your head. It’ll help.” He took it and put it on his head, but wasn’t quite so sure if it was going to do anything. “Try and rest. I’ll be in to check on you in a little bit. Sleep if you can, it usually helps when I used to have headaches.” She smiled and left the room
Kurt laid there and tried to go to sleep, but couldn’t quite manage to do it while he was still in his Dalton uniform, so he was resigned to getting up and changing, and then quickly getting back in bed and falling asleep. Clearly this headache was something else, because he didn’t wake up until early the next morning. Luckily the headache was gone, and Kurt felt refreshed.
Prologue Chapter 2
Title: Invisible Illness Chapter 1
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Spoilers (if any): None
Warnings (if any): Descriptions of pain
Word Count: 1900+
Summary: Kurt suffers from his first of many headaches. How does he cope with something this horrible, when he needs it so little?
Author's Note: This is a therapy fic. I'm writing this as a way to cope with the struggles that come with Invisible Illnesses, both having one myself, and living with a family member with multiple ones. If at any time the characters in this story seem to have struggles so far out there, that it all seems made up, please keep in mind that these are the struggles of those living with Invisible Illnesses every day, and none of them are made up.
Invisible Illnesses expected to turn up in this story: Chronic Migraines, Multiple Sclerosis, Fibromyalgia, and Diabetes. Others may make appearances, but these you can be sure will show up.
To everyone who commented on the prologue thanking me for writing this story: No thanks is needed. I've suffered from Chronic Migraines since March of 2008 when they first started. My mother has suffered from Fibromyalgia since she was 18 years old. She's been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis since August of last year. My grandmother lived over 20 years with Diabetes. The stigma regarding Invisible Illnesses that they're *not real* is something I desperately hate, and am passionate about. Being told that I'm a hypochondriac for complaining of a Migraine every other day for 2 years, just kills me. This story is for all of those who have ever been told "You're faking it." or "It's not real." This story is for all of those who have ever had someone believe they weren't in pain, when they were in more pain than they could deal with. I hope you all enjoy :)
April 1st, 2011
Kurt was in the middle of his AP European History class with Mr. Marlow when he first felt the twinge in the middle of his head. Okay it wasn’t quite the middle of his head. It was more the right side middle of his head. If you were to take your finger and trace it up from the tip of your right ear and go about 3 inches up your head, you’d feel the spot that the twinges started to hit. At first, Kurt thought nothing of them. ‘It’s just a headache’ He thought to himself, knowing that people have headaches all the time. He quickly dug into his messenger bag and pulled out a packet of Advil that he had kept there ever since his McKinley days. Countless days of being shoved into lockers and tossed into dumpsters required some sort of pain relievers on hand at all times. He was glad that Dalton had a lax policy on over the counter pain relievers. It stated that students may bring OTC medications for their own personal use to school, and they wouldn’t have to check them in with the nurse. However if they were ever caught giving those medications to another student, they were royally screwed. (Okay so that wasn’t the precise wording in the Student Handbook, but it seemed to get the point across.)
He popped the two Advil into his mouth and grabbed a drink of the water that he had on hand at all times. Normally if he had a headache he’d try and deal with the pain and not take any drugs to make it go away, however Mr. Marlow was giving an important lecture and hinted that 90% of the next test was going to be on this material so Kurt decided he better be safe than sorry. He couldn’t afford to fail the next test. He had been spending so much time with the Warblers and Blaine that he had flunked his last AP Euro test, and if he didn’t at least get a B on this one…he would risk getting on Academic Probation.
The pain in his head wasn’t that bad, it was manageable and if he focused on his teacher’s lecture and on the notes that he should be taking, he almost didn’t feel it. Almost being the operative word.
About 30 minutes later the class was finally over, but the headache was slowly getting worse. The pain kept rising at a steady pace, which he was thankful for. At least it wasn’t going from 0 to 10 in 5 minutes, but at the same time, he wished he could just get rid of it all together. But that wasn’t the only thing that was bothering him about this stupid headache. The fluorescent lights that seemed to be in every room just made things…worse. It was like he had just woken up from a 3 hour nap and someone was shining a flashlight in his face. Couldn’t deal with the pain that came with the light.
He gathered up his things and walked out of the classroom. Blaine who was coming out of another classroom just a couple doors down ran over to him. “Hey Kurt.” He said as he wound his right arm around Kurt’s hip and pulled Kurt in for a quick kiss.
“Hey.” Kurt replied a tad bit distracted from the pain currently coursing through his head. As he pulled his bag over his shoulder he rubbed his head a little bit, and that’s when Blaine noticed something was up.
“Kurt what’s wrong? Head hurt?” Kurt nodded.
“Yea, all of a sudden halfway through last class my head started to pound. It’s like someone took a railroad spike and started jamming it into this one particular spot of my brain.” He told his boyfriend, as he absent mindedly rubbed the spot on his head that was currently bothering him.
“Could it be a tension headache? You’ve got that big term paper coming up.” Kurt shrugged.
“It’s possible. But I’m not really all that tense.” Kurt told him. Kurt used to be tense all the time when he was going to school at McKinley, but since he transferred to Dalton, he had eased up, and most of the latent-tension from his bullied-days was gone.
“Well why don’t we go test that theory. Let’s grab some lunch and bring it into the Junior Commons. We can eat, and then see if we can try and de-stress you.” Blaine flirtatiously told him, batting his eyelashes overdramatically. Kurt smiled and nodded as they walked side by side towards the cafeteria.
By the time they got to the Junior Commons Kurt’s headache had gotten even worse, and the light from the sun was really bothering him. Blaine sat down on the couch, as Kurt went to close the large dusty curtains that hadn’t been cleaned properly in about 20 years. After making the room substantially darker, Kurt sat down into the couch and tried to relax. They talked as they ate, quietly because they didn’t want to draw any attention to themselves in the common room, since if they did…anyone might come in and interrupt them, not something they wanted to happen.
As they were quietly whispering about Blaine’s English class and how his teacher had an obsession with
Mark Twain Kurt felt another set of stabbing pains in his head, enough that he whimpered out in pain and clutched his hands to his head. “Kurt, are you okay?” Kurt shook his head, and Blaine watched as his boyfriend took his head into his hands and just silently sobbed, not knowing what to do. He tried the only thing he could think of, and that was a massage that might relieve some of the tension Kurt was storing in his neck. As he began to rub his hands over his boyfriend’s neck and shoulders, Kurt tensed a little and was still sobbing quietly into his hands. Kurt threw up his hands and stood up while cringing.
“Please stop. You’re making it worse.” Blaine looked hurt, but knew it wasn’t Kurt’s fault.
“I’m sorry Kurt.” His boyfriend sighed and sat back down, this time pulling Blaine back to rest on the couch and curling into him.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one with a head who won’t stop feeling like there’s a knife sticking out of it.” Kurt grumbled, taking what little comfort he could, being with his boyfriend even if his boyfriend couldn’t really touch him without making this headache worse.
“Maybe you should go to the nurse?” Blaine asked, and Kurt shook his head.
“What is she going to do? Hand me two Tylenol and send me back to class? I already took advil in the middle of last class, it’s just not working.”
“Maybe you can lie down in one of the beds in her office, sleep it off?” Kurt shook his head.
“Can’t, I have a test after lunch. PoliSci with Beaker. You know how Beaker doesn’t let you make up tests for any reason besides death, yours not anyone elses.” Blaine sighed. Having had Beaker last semester, he knew exactly how he was in regards to testing. He reluctantly agreed with Kurt and just sat there, every once in a while pressing a kiss into his boyfriend’s hair an act that only he could ever get away with. Kurt turned to face him after a few moments. “You know…maybe some light making out will help it go away…endorphins you know?” he smiled as Blaine leaned in and slowly pressed his lips to Kurt’s. It was slow and passionate, just what they both wanted and what Kurt needed. Kurt didn’t need frantic with hands moving everywhere and Blaine accidentally exciting him more than he should be excited right now, but this was sweet. It was nice. It was exactly what Kurt loved about his and Blaine’s relationship.
However after a few minutes (and a few deep panting breaths for air) Kurt realized that the endorphin theory really wasn’t working. It was also time for class, which neither of them wanted to go to. But they had to. So they did.
_______
By the time Kurt got home that day after school his headache had gotten worse. If anyone were to ask how bad it was, based on a scale of 1-10, he’d have to say about a 6 or a 7. Around lunch it had been a 4 or a 5. It was getting progressively worse, and he had no clue why. Right before he left school he popped another two advil to try and handle the stupid thing, but after an hour of driving, it hadn’t done anything. Which is why Kurt ended up storming up to his room, not saying hello to his stepbrother or stepmother, both of whom were sitting on the living room couch watching TV.
As he opened the door to his room he flung himself onto his bed and buried his head into his pink fuzzy pillow and felt like screaming, but knew that if he tried screaming it would probably only make his head worse. For the 2nd time that day Kurt sobbed, into his pillow as the fabric quickly soaked up any tears that escaped his ever-color-changing eyes. But the sobbing only made his head worse. The shaky breaths, the quick jolts of the head, made the migraine ten times worse. It was horrible. He couldn’t stand it. Why was this happening to him? Why did he have this headache that just wouldn’t go away? He was so absorbed into himself that he hadn’t even noticed when Carole walked into his room and sat on the edge of his bed. “Honey, are you okay?” She asked him, not used to him crying for no reason. Kurt was very strong, she knew this and even when he was being bullied and having his life threatened at McKinley, he never cried over it.
Kurt looked up and shook his head and gulped. “I feel horrible.” He told the closest thing he had to a mother nowadays. She, in a move known to all mothers everywhere, placed her hand against his forehead to see if he was running a fever (cause who resorts to using thermometers, really?)
“What’s wrong Kurt?”
“My head is killing me.” He sobbed out to her, a vulnerability he rarely lets anyone but his father see. “I took advil at lunch, and again about an hour ago…but it’s doing nothing.” Carole sighed and stood as Kurt dropped his head into his pillow again. Carole came back after a few minutes with a wet cool washcloth and nudged him to turn over.
“Here, put this on your head. It’ll help.” He took it and put it on his head, but wasn’t quite so sure if it was going to do anything. “Try and rest. I’ll be in to check on you in a little bit. Sleep if you can, it usually helps when I used to have headaches.” She smiled and left the room
Kurt laid there and tried to go to sleep, but couldn’t quite manage to do it while he was still in his Dalton uniform, so he was resigned to getting up and changing, and then quickly getting back in bed and falling asleep. Clearly this headache was something else, because he didn’t wake up until early the next morning. Luckily the headache was gone, and Kurt felt refreshed.
Prologue Chapter 2