The book of love

[heloula]

Title: The book of love (3/?)
Author: heloula / helaluvE
Rating: T
Warning: OCs, and fluffy angst.
Fandom/Pairing: glee/ Kurt&Blaine/ Finchel and lots of other
Summary: There are things you cannot forget. Blaine and Kurt are about to find that out. Future fic includes all the glee clubbers and their kids .



Disclaimer: anything you recognize is not mine.

A/N: I'm sending all my love and respects and unicorns and rainbows to Star star55  who helped a lot with this chapter and is my fabulous beta!

Of endings and new beginnings.

Blaine had suspected that his (late) arrival to dinner would have some kind of effect. He had not realized that the effect in question would rival the one of the A bomb.

"Er... Hi," he said lamely with a slight wave. No one replied. Some of them, the ones Blaine didn't yet know, exchanged looks with others before smiling slightly and awkwardly. The rest of them, his once upon a lifetime ago friends, just stared at him, mouths hanging open with almost identical frowns on all their faces. Blaine could almost see the collective 'WTF?' cloud forming above their heads.

It was a lot to take in, and not just for them. There had to be at least forty people in the room. Tina's dinner's room table looked endless. There were old and beloved faces, new faces, young innocent faces. All around, lots of faces, just gaping at him. He felt a small hand wrap around his and he looked down to see Melisande smiling up at him in encouragement. She gave a little tug and he let her lead him toward the table. Right now, it seemed like the easiest thing to do; the best distraction possible. Those few steps and her lovely smile gave Blaine the excuse to not look at the rest of them -him- for a few seconds and take a deep breath.

"Here," she said and pulled up a chair between a dark haired boy who held a striking resemblance to Mike and a little girl with vivid red hair and freckles covering every inch of her cute little face. They looked up at him, as is trying to place him. "You can sit here," Melisande added with a little shove. Blaine grinned at her and did as he was told, still very conscious of the numerous pair of eyes turned on him. Melisande waited until he was seated before climbing on his lap.

"Hi," she smiled, her cheeks dimpling enchantingly.

"Hi," he replied in a whisper, unable to contain a smile of his own.

"I don't know what exactly is going on, but someone needs to diffuse the tension before we all choke on it," a tall dark and handsome fellow drawled and managed to get a few chuckles for his efforts. He was seating between Mercedes and Santana. A little girl was sitting on his lap and was busy destroying the piece of bread he had given her a few seconds ago.

"Maybe someone could make the presentations," another new addition to the group suggested. Blaine took a closer look around the table. He could see four new faces amongst the adults. The woman who had just spoken was a pretty blond with a round face, huge green eyes the color of grass in late spring and a wide, kind smile. She was sitting next to Sam who had an arm draped over the back of her chair. She must be Zoe, the angel baker, Blaine concluded.

Tina cleared her throat and the sound seemed loud in the awkward silence that had followed Zoe suggestion. "OK, I'll just power through, then," she volunteered with a tight smile. "This is Richard Cooper, 'Cedes' husband," she started pointing at the man with the girl on his lap. Slowly but surely, Tina made her way around the table, introducing each new member of the group as well as the kids who, beside Melisande, barely paid attention to what was happening.

Blaine smiled at all of them, trying to not let his overwhelming feelings take control of him. He'd known perfectly well that coming here tonight was a very bad idea. He knew that it would be awkward and difficult but the temptation had been too great. These people had once been his friends. They had been such a huge part of his life and it was only when he sat down for coffee with Rachel and Finn that he had realized how very much he had missed. It wasn't to say that he had never thought of them; it was just that he hadn't allowed himself to dwell on the past for too long.

After the break up he had cut all ties with them. He had changed his phone number; he had erased his Facebook and Twitter accounts and all of their numbers. He knew it had been selfish and that he had probably hurt all of them but it was the only way for him to survive the break up. Call it cowardice, or self-defense mechanism or whatever else comes to mind. At the time, it had helped him move on. There was also the fact that they were Kurt's friends first. Blaine knew that if it came

down to a choice, they'd leave him behind; so he took the decision out of their hands. He'd gone through so much pain already, he didn't want another rejection on his record.

Now however, fifteen years after the facts, he knew it had not been the best of choices.

"You didn't tell them you invited me?" he asked Rachel with a sigh. Ten heads turned to gape at poor Rachel. Finn was wincing in obvious discomfort whereas Eric, Richard, Alexandra and Zoe, who probably didn't have any idea of what was going on, looked more intrigued by the second. As for Kurt, when Blaine finally dared to look at him, he was just glaring at Rachel and Finn fiercely. He didn't look all that surprised, though.

"You invited him?" Mercedes sounded outraged. She had always been good to Blaine and she always had been just a little bit more special to him than the rest of them, besides Kurt. They had been very close and he understood that her fury was only a mask to hide the hurt he had caused her.

Blaine looked at her and he understood that simply showing up unannounced wasn't going to cut it. He was going to make amends and apologize. Time for the big guns, it seemed.

Rachel was stumbling through an explanation and nearly drowning under the questions thrown (mostly shouted) at her. Blaine decided to take matters into his own hands. He whistled loudly, making several of them jump around to look at him. Some giggles were heard and soon the children were pursing their lips in an effort to imitate him.

"Could we talk?" Blaine pleaded.

"Okay, everybody under the age of twelve, follow me," Alexandra got up and started gathering the kids. Blaine smiled gratefully at her.

"But... Dessert!" Patrick and David cried in dismay. Tina glared and pointed to the double doors. They grumbled under their breaths but followed Alexandra out of the room. Melisande gave a quick kiss to Blaine before joining her age group. He knew without really looking his way that Kurt had gotten up as well and was helping Alexandra evacuate the children from what would probably become a war zone.

Blaine squared his shoulders and locked his gaze on Mercedes. She was angrier than the rest of them and he thought that if he could make her understand the rest of them would follow. As a girl, Mercedes had always been the kind of person you couldn't take lightly; she wouldn't let you. As a grown woman, she was a sight to behold.

"Well?" she demanded crossing her arms and pinning him with a typical Mercedes eyebrow lift. Blaine felt a surge of affection so big it almost choked him. "Did you get lost?" Richard leaned into her and she seemed to breathe a little easier.

Blaine didn't really know how to start, so in the end he went with the truth.

"Mercedes, I'm sorry."

She scoffed loudly and he could see several member of the group agreeing with her non-verbal objection.

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it! It's been fifteen years!"

"I know."

"What makes you think you can just come here, throw a few smiles, mumble some sorry-ass apology and expect everything's going to be fine? Because it's not!" she was openly seething by then.

"I didn't say that. I'm not expecting that. I'm not expecting anything, really. I don't have any right to," Blaine said feeling more tired than he could remember ever being (and he'd only been here for less then ten minutes).

"Then what?" Puck asked. Blaine turned to look at him and realized that the mohawk was gone. He didn't really look that different from the bad ass teenager he used to be but the missing mohawk, perhaps more than anything else, made Blaine take conscience of the passing of time.

"I just..." he sighed. There were so many things to say but he couldn't find the right way to say them. "When I talked with Rachel and Finn the other day and they told me all about you guys, I... I remembered," he said looking at all of them around the long table, trying to make them understand. "I tried for so long not to remember," he said almost to himself with a smile devoid of all laughter. "Look I know I didn't handle... things in the smartest of ways. I know it was juvenile and selfish and desperately weak but at the time, it was literally all I could do. I know I hurt your feelings and for that I am deeply sorry but you have to know that I really cared about you guys. I still do," he finished almost pleading now.

"Why now?" Artie asked. His voice had gone graver over the years and he didn't dress as colorfully as he used to but it was still Artie, asking the right questions.

"I don't know. To be honest when Rachel invited me, I said I wouldn't come. But the idea of seeing all of you together again, wouldn't leave me alone. I had to come. I had to see if you remembered me a little too," he finished and looked back at Mercedes. Her eyebrows had settled and her arms were uncrossed; Richard was holding her hand. She didn't look ready for hugs and kisses but she didn't look ready to punch him either. And for now that was enough.

Looking at her now, this wonderful woman who had achieved every goal she had set for herself and more, he felt his chest squeeze almost painfully. He regretted not being there for their journeys. He wished he could have been part of it all; the failures, the successes, the smiles and the tears. He had missed all the good parts and he just felt like he needed to be there for and with them again. And maybe, just maybe, they could be there for him too. With a bit of luck, he wouldn't have to be so alone anymore.

He smiled sadly. "I just missed my friends."

He knew he was on the right path when he saw Rachel and Mercedes exchange a nod.

"You were always good with words," Quinn drawled, her pretty green eyes warmer than a few minutes ago.

"Dapper as ever," Mike added with a nod and a slight smirk. Blaine's smile grew lighter.

"I suggest we sleep on it," Lauren said.

"Meaning?" Blaine asked apprehensively.

"Meaning you're gonna have a bit of cake, then you're gonna go home so we can do some bashing," Santana said. Her words were as bitchy as ever but she was smiling at him. Blaine wanted to grin.

"Got a problem with that?" Mercedes asked.

"None whatsoever," he chuckled softly, relieved beyond words. It wasn't over but it was a something; it was a start.

"Mhm!" Santana acquiesced.

Everybody seemed to relax after that and because he really felt happier now, Blaine sighed in relief once again.

"How 'bout some cake?" Zoe proposed.

"Yes, please," Finn smiled.

"I'll go get the kids," Rachel said.

"I'll come with you," Blaine offered and she nodded with a smile. They left the room quietly but they were both aware of the furious whispering that started right after them.

"It was very sweet, what you said," Rachel said, her smile growing tender. She nudged his shoulder playfully and he remembered the many times in the past they had shared a quiet moment like this and how the guys in the glee club used to make fun of him because Blaine and Rachel were of similar height. He couldn't contain his smile and he didn't want to anyway. He felt lighter somehow. No matter what happened next, he was glad he'd come and said his piece.

"I meant every word."

"I know you did and although it doesn't really seem like it right now, we missed you as well."

There was nothing to add after that so they walked in silence toward whatever room the kids were in. Now that he thought about it, it probably was several rooms; there were seventeen of them after all. Blaine looked around himself and noted the elegant, classy and warm way Tina had decorated the loft. It must have taken a lot of time to turn this gigantic place into a home.

There were several paintings and pictures on the walls. Wedding portraits, picture of the Chang children from different ages and in different locations. There were also a few group pictures with the New Direction gang. Some old, some recent, some where the group wasn't yet what it was today; complete. Blaine stopped in front of a picture of Kurt, Burt, Carole, Mike, Tina and a pretty woman with jet black hair and stunning blue eyes. Finn had his arms wrapped around her from behind and she was smiling up at him. Blaine looked more closely but couldn't place her.

"That's Hannah Michaelson," Rachel said stopping next to him.

"What's the occasion?"

"Kurt's first Tony award. You can't see it in the picture because Finn had hidden it," Rachel said with a shake of head. Blaine swallowed painfully but other than that, he gave no other outward sign of his thoughts. Kurt had won Tony awards. He knew that but he never thought he'd ever see evidence of it.

"Who's Hannah?" he asked just to clear his head.

"Finn's ex. They were engaged actually," Rachel surprised him with her light tone. Blaine looked to look at her with a question mark almost appearing on his forehead. "Yes, Finn was engaged to another woman before me. It was a long time and I happened to have a fiancé of my own at the time." She resumed walking so he had no choice but to follow her.

"You did?" he asked his voice higher than usual.

"Mhm. Eli James. Very charming and a talented musician. He made me feel like I was the best thing since the invention of sliced bread," she told him her eyes smiling. "I'll spare you the epic dramatic tale of how this unfolded but I'll tell you this: if it weren't for Kurt, I wouldn't have married Finn. He brought us back together," she said her eyes shinning with love. Blaine wished they had the time for the epic dramatic tale but they had finally arrived at the end of possibly the longest hallway in Manhattan. They turned the corner and Blaine heard a piano and soft, small voices singing along. He turned his head toward Rachel and they exchanged a smile.

When they entered the room, he only spared a quick look at his surroundings. He barely noticed the shelves stacked with hundreds of toys, board games, the huge TV screen, the video games, the books, the blue rays or even the huge trampoline. Almost as soon as he entered what was probably heaven on earth, his eyes flew to the group gathered around the keyboard. Kurt was sitting in front of it with little Charlotte snuggled at his side, while the older kids were gathered around him. Harmoniously, they sang Amazing Grace as if they were born to do it. The smaller kids were seated on the trampoline and were watching them, enthralled.

Blaine caught his breath, his feet glued to the floor, he was unable to do anything but watch and smile. The children were not only at ease with each other but also with Kurt. The kind of ease that only came from the comfort of really knowing and loving someone. It almost brought tears to Blaine's eyes.

"You do this often?" he whispered in a croak to Rachel while he leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Every now and then," she whispered back with a soft smile. "This is their favorite song, and they're always ready to perform when Kurt's around," she explained further. He nodded thoughtfully, his gaze drinking them in.

Aware of another older familiar voice joining them, he turned to see Rachel approaching them. She put her hands on Paul and Penny's shoulders (Artie's son and Sam's daughter, if he wasn't mistaken). The kids smiled at her and Blaine saw pride shine brilliantly in her chocolate eyes. His heart seemed to expand and squeeze at the same time. They were amazing.

The song came to an end and the children on the trampoline jumped to their feet, erupting in exuberant applause. It had to be the cutest thing he'd ever seen, since a few of them were barely able to walk yet. Blaine joined in, grinning from ear to ear. His gaze went to Kurt and he found himself looking at beautiful sky blue eyes. He inhaled sharply but wasn't able to look away. That was something he had never been able to forget, just how very much he'd loved Kurt's expressive eyes. Before he realized it was happening, they were smiling at each other. The moment was interrupted by Rachel's loud voice.

"I think I heard Aunt Tina mention dessert..." she teased and they were all suddenly running toward the door. "No running!" Rachel shouted but she was smiling still and went unheard anyway. Several of the kids, amongst them Melisande and Will, ran to Kurt to kiss him before running for the door. On her way out Melisande grabbed Blaine's hand and he had no choice but follow. It seemed it was all he'd been doing lately; following the Hudson-Berry girls.

Kurt wasn't one to indulge in sugary treats (that is if you don't take into account a certain ex-Warbler). However, when it came to Zoe's cakes, he was a total goner. Tonight, there were several choices, amongst them her famous carrot cake. It was so creamy and soft and sweet, it had to be a sin. Kurt got himself a rather gigantic piece, exchanged a few words with Mercedes to reassure her that, yes he was perfectly fine, took his scandalously full plate and escaped to the balcony. Tina and Mike lived on the fifteenth and last floor of the building and the view from her large balcony was breathtaking.

Kurt gazed at the city lights and took a deep breath. After all this time, he still had to pinch himself from time to time. He guessed he'd never fully get over how lucky he was. He took a piece of cake and told himself he'd send a gift to Zoe to thank her for her existence. A sapphire seemed adequate.

He turned around and caught sight of Melisande seating on Blaine's lap and whispering something in his ear. He laughed loudly at whatever she told him and Kurt's little niece smiled beautifully. It made him smile, he couldn't help it. Melisande was generally as socially comfortable as a six year-old could be but she always seemed so serious. Tonight, however, he'd seen her smile, laugh and even joke and Kurt knew it was due to 'Prince Caramel-eyes'. He didn't know how to feel about the man or the fact that he'd reappeared so unexpectedly in his life and seemed to want to stay but Kurt couldn't deny that he liked Blaine's relationship with Melisande.

Kurt ate for a while reflecting on the event of the evening, trying to think clearly. He hated to admit it but there was a part of himself -it was a bit scary how big that part was- which actually rejoiced in seeing Blaine.

Santana, Mercedes and Britt had taken Kurt aside to give him a gist of what had been said when he had left the room with Alex and the kids. Guilt gnawed at his insides. He hadn't asked of Blaine to completely cut himself off but Kurt knew that he was a lot responsible for what happened after their break up. When the guilt abated a bit, he took notice of the quiet but growing gladness that was filling him.

Blaine had missed them. Kurt wondered if he realized how much they had missed him.

It was weird that after the last few days and the emotional roller-coaster they had been, he felt so calm now. That didn't mean he wouldn't tear Rachel a new one as soon as he could but he wasn't as angry or as unsettled as he thought he would be.

That was a good thing because the French doors opened behind him and he knew without turning around who it was.

Blaine came to the railing and leaned his forearms on it. He stood a few feet away from Kurt, taking in the view.

"Stunning, isn't it?" Kurt said softly.

"Yeah," Blaine breathed.

Four words. Fifteen years and their first conversation was four words long. Kurt wanted to roll his eyes, instead he ate a small piece of cake.

"You look good," it was blunt and Blaine said it so softly that Kurt almost didn't hear him but he did and he blushed furiously. He was used to all sorts of compliment; in his profession they were often as cheap and false as the bashing could be harsh. Hearing Blaine's words uttered so softly made his heart beat at a dangerous pace.

"Thank you." What else could he say? Then he thought of something. "You too."

Blaine's lips turned up at the corner and Kurt wasn't ashamed to admit that his breath stuttered. Damn it but Blaine did look good. He was wearing a simple but expansive black sweater over a stark white shirt and snug dark jeans. He looked older but it was mostly due to the scruff on his jaw. His hair was a lot curlier than in his memories.

After leaving Dalton for WMHS in their senior year, it took him a while to lose the dapper and oh so very proper look he was known for. He'd seemed to relax as the weeks went by and he'd allowed himself more freedom with his clothes but his hair had stayed off limits. No matter how much Kurt had begged, Blaine had kept gelling his beautiful hair as if his life depended on it. Today however, the curls were let loose and were free to be as cute as they wished.

Oh boy!

"Thank you," came the reply. Kurt tried to think of something to say but he seemed out of words. What do you say to your first (and let's be honest here, only) love after fifteen years of silence?

Sorry for the broken heart. How 'bout 'em runways? I missed you so much. Do you? Can you send me a picture of you in those green scrubs because I didn't get enough of an eyeful the other day?

Somehow, he didn't think any of those were appropriate conversation starters.

In the end, he went with the classic, "How are you?"

"That's a loaded question if I ever heard one," Blaine said. Kurt heard the humor in his voice before his old friend even turned his head to smirk at him. Kurt chuckled. It was that or tell him that his voice was still the best sound on this earth. "I'm well; I work a lot but I love what I do so it's alright and I live in New York which is an adventure in itself."

Kurt smiled in understanding.

"Do you still perform?" He didn't know why he asked that. Blaine was a surgeon now, he couldn't possibly have the time to sing but it was important to Kurt. Blaine was one of the most talented people he knew.

"I do." Blaine smiled such a beautiful smile that Kurt's heart jumped in his chest. "It's not much but there this piano bar, not far from here actually, called The Blue Room. I play there when I have the time. It's pretty laid back but it's a good energy."

"You love it," Kurt concluded.

"I do. Of course it doesn't compare to winning Tony awards," Blaine teased and this time Kurt did roll his eyes.

"It's nothing," he mumbled feeling his whole face heating up.

"Au contraire, it's everything."

"No it's not," Kurt insisted. He turned around to look inside and pointed at his friends, his family. "These people are everything."

Blaine seemed to understand because he nodded. There was something sad about it, though.

"Melisande seems to like you very much," Kurt said trying to take away the sad look and it worked because Blaine smiled brilliantly.

"She's special."

"That she is," Kurt agreed and he knew he was smiling like a fool. "Will is more of handful but he's just as lovely."

"How are your parents?"

"Dad and Carole are great. They're coming tomorrow for Will's birthday. How are yours?" Blaine's smile faded and he had to clear his throat before answering.

"Mom's fine. She lives here now, too," his voice was quiet but pained.

"Alone?" Blaine nodded. "What happened?" Kurt asked with dread.

"Dad passed away a few years ago," he replied his voice heavy with sorrow.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt said and he really was. He remembered Blaine's father. He had been a hard man that shared a difficult relationship with his son but he'd been a good man and Kurt knew that despite their differences the two men had loved and respected each other deeply. Kurt extended his hand wanting -needing- to offer some comfort but he retreated it, not sure of... anything.

Blaine shook his head. "It was a long time ago."

"For some things, time doesn't come into account," Kurt said. Blaine looked up surprised. Something passed between them; an awareness. Without acknowledging it aloud, they understood that things wouldn't always be awkward and difficult between them. They both understood that Kurt had been talking about more than just grief over Blaine's father.

"I know," Blaine murmured and that was that. They remained in the balcony, chatting about nothing and everything and Kurt thought that he might not kill Rachel, after all.

"They look sad," Brittany said with a compassionate pout. "Poor dolphins."

"I wish I could hear what they're saying," Rachel shared, anxious.

"He better not mess this up," Mercedes threatened, her voice like steel.

"I don't understand why you keep blaming Blaine for what happened. We don't actually know what happened, why they broke up. For all we know, Kurt might have done the breaking," Tina pointed out, unable to tear her eyes away from the men outside.

"Women! Get out of there! Let them be," Puck all but shouted from the kitchen but he was completely ignored.

"I can't imagine it being Kurt's idea," Mercedes insisted.

"Again, you can't know for sure," Quinn decided to join the conversation. The women were gathered in the spacious living room trying to look discreet while blatantly spying on Blaine and Kurt. They had given the gist of the situation to Alexandra and Zoe and they were both as desirous to see what will happen as the New Direction girls.

Mercedes harrumphed but had to concede the point. She wasn't above pointing and fuming, though so she indulged herself.

"Aww! Look!" Brittany urged them. "They're being cute again." They all focused on the balcony where Blaine and Kurt were in fact smiling at each other rather adorably. Their collective jaws fell on the floor when Kurt offered his plate full of delicious cake and Blaine took a piece with his fingers before bringing it to his lips. Kurt swallowed, visibly attentive. The women exchanged looks, clearly fascinated and enjoying themselves.

"Zoe, dear, another miracle from your saintly hands," Rachel laughed.

"You do know that if Kurt sees you, he's gonna get mad, right? And when he's mad he gets mean," Finn said poking his head through the double doors.

"Get lost, Hudson," Santana said without sparing him a glance. Finn rolled his eyes but he knew a lost cause when he saw it so he went back to the men who were gathered in the kitchen, cleaning up. The kids were under the surveillance of Eric and Sam.

The woman kept on watching in silence, noting every nuance without being able to hear anything. It didn't matter much because, with Blaine and Kurt, body language was always more important than words. Their conversation looked a bit awkward sometimes but as it carried on, it gained ease.

Santana surprised them with what she said next, "I'm glad he's back." There was a pause then where they all gaped at her. Santana just shrugged.

"We don't know if he's really back for good," Lauren felt the need to remind her.

"I have a good feeling about this," Rachel said.

There was no more talking after that mysterious confession but they all hoped for the same thing: the best.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Now leave me some suga'!