Bat fic: Stakeout, by kuonji (PG-13)
Title: Stakeout
Series: Guardian Knight
Author: kuonji
Fandom: Batman
Characters: Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne
Pairings: mention of Bruce/FC
Category: character study, humor, family, alternate universe
Rating: PG-13
Words: ~1590
Summary: "Stakeout's no fun without company."
A/N: This takes place in the universe of Nocturnal Visitor. I suggest you read that first. I'm calling the series Guardian Knight for now, but if you think of a better name, let me know. :)
Stakeout
by kuonji
1. "Oh man, I snuck up on the Batman!"
"Show yourself."
"Oh man, I snuck up on the Batman!"
"...You didn't sneak up on me."
"Hey, don't get all defensive. I wouldn't have noticed you, except I was looking to set up a surveillance post here myself. See, I brought sandwiches. Do you want one?"
"...No, thank you. Why are you here?"
"Same reason you are. The Downtown Gotham Central case."
"I thought Bullock had you and Lee watching Otis."
"He did. That's what I was doing all day today. Most boring. Day. Ever. And totally useless. I knew Randall was our guy."
"How do you know that?"
"I got a look at the case file. Figured some things out. Besides, you're here, aren't you? That proves I'm right."
"I don't have the answers, Dick. I'm just running an investigation, the same as Bullock."
"Dios mío, don't make me laugh. You? Like Bullock?"
"I admit our practices are different-- Are you done?"
"...Yeah, I'm cool. 'Different', oh god."
"He's crass and abrasive and stubborn, I know, but he's a good detective. You should try to learn from him. You're still young and inexperienced. If this is truly what you want, you need to take every chance to better yourself."
"Okay. I'm sorry. I'll try harder. I will. It's just... I felt like I wasted my entire day when we could have been catching the real guy."
"Sometimes a case takes a surprising turn. Whether he's the mastermind behind the robbery or not, Otis is still a person of interest."
"When you put it like that... okay. Fine. Maybe I wasn't wasting my time. But I still think it's Randall."
"..."
"Sure you don't want a sandwich? Spam, mayonnaise, and paprika. Mrs. Almos used to make them like this. You won't regret it. Here, try a corner."
"Hm. It's... not bad."
"You don't have to be nice. Acquired taste, I know."
"..."
"Batman."
"Hn?"
"It is Randall, though, isn't it?"
"Without a doubt."
***
2. "Stakeout's no fun without company."
"I've known you were coming since you approached the building from across the street and entered through the door in the alley."
"Aw, I knew I could never sneak up on you again, so I didn't try real hard."
"You didn't sneak up on me last time."
"Sure, sure. Sandwich?"
"...No, thank you."
"It's ham this time."
"I already ate."
"Okay."
"...This isn't your case, Dick."
"I know."
"Why are you here?"
"Stakeout's no fun without company."
"Stakeouts aren't meant to be 'fun'. Don't you have an early shift tomorrow?"
"Yeah, so this way I won't be late."
"You're never late to work."
"True. This will guarantee it, right?"
"..."
"..."
"Bullock likes you."
"Huh?"
"I heard you received a commendation. It takes a lot to impress Bullock."
"Never had anyone who'd put up with him like I do, I'm guessing."
"Good work."
"Yeah, well, after what you said that first time, I realized I was blowing him off for no reason. You were right. He knows some good stuff."
"You could-- There's movement. It's Vito. He's early. I don't like this. Call it in and keep watch. I'm going in."
"Hey, wait, I can help!"
***
3. "I remember."
"Thanks for the note. I know you don't actually like me hanging around with you like this."
"I never said that."
"I wouldn't want to cramp your style."
"We're sitting on a rooftop. There's no style to speak of."
"...I'm sorry I messed up last time."
"You didn't."
"That man could've died."
"You did everything right."
"Except sweep the building for occupants, and shoot straight, for god's sake. It's lucky you stopped the car."
"Just don't make those mistakes again."
"'Every mistake is a lesson, not a failure.'"
"...What was that?"
"You said that to me. A long time ago. You-- I guess you don't remember. Never mind."
"I remember."
***
4. "And she likes yellow carnations."
"What do you know about the Commissioner's daughter?"
"..."
"..."
"She enjoys playing with computers and electronic gadgets. The last man she dated was an excellent cook. And she likes yellow carnations. I suggest you start with the flowers, since I've seen the state of your kitchen and you don't even know what a CPU is."
"...Thanks."
"We need to work on the subtlety of your interrogation technique."
"Oh my god, shut up."
***
5. "You should give it a try."
"Congratulations."
"I almost still can't believe it. I feel like-- I know it sounds totally arrogant, but I feel really special."
"You should. The GCPD is perpetually short of funds, and detectives' salaries don't come cheap. Commissioner Gordon pushed your promotion on the fast-track for a reason."
"Your sponsorship must have helped a lot."
"You're overestimating my influence on the regular police force. Not to mention, the politics involved with being associated with a vigilante. Jim's had experience navigating those waters. He saw something in you that he was willing to cash in some goodwill for. Don't let him down."
"I won't."
"Good."
"...Do you think Babs will consider it now that I'm a detective?"
"I don't think that's what was stopping her before."
"Ouch. Don't hold back."
"...I'm sorry."
"It's okay. No one loves Batman for his tact."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So... Do you have anyone special?"
"What?"
"Are you dating anyone? Or am I not allowed to know?"
"We're not-- No. I'm not."
"Oh-ho, sounds like a mystery to me! Who is she?"
"It doesn't matter."
"So there is someone!"
"I said it doesn't matter."
"Why not?"
"It would never work out."
"Maybe you should give it try? Even if it hurts, you'll at least know you did your best. Trust me."
***
6. "Holy fishsticks!"
"I did what you said."
"Huh?"
"The... woman I spoke of. We're in a relationship now. Of sorts."
"Of sorts? What does that mean? Are you seeing other people? Are you just fucking?"
"Language."
"Are you just sl-ee-ping to-ge-ther?"
"I'm... pretty sure it's more than that."
"Jesus, does she know--"
"Language."
"Does she know who you are?"
"...Yes."
"Oh. Wow. That's pretty major, then."
"Dick, I'm sorry--"
"No, I get it. It's okay. I've got too many connections to you already."
"..."
"So who's the lucky lady, anyway?"
"..."
"Batman?"
"She's-- You probably don't know her."
"Doesn't mean I don't want to learn more about her. What's her name?"
"Selina."
"That's a pretty name. Heh, Catwoman's named-- oh my god."
"What?"
"You-- You made a face."
"I didn't 'make a face'."
"You did! You totally did! Holy f-- fr-- fishsticks! You're going out with Catwoman? O mój Boże! Que estás loco!"
"You told me I should give it a try."
"I didn't know she was a criminal!"
***
7. "Where are we going?"
"I brought turkey this time... Hey, what's wrong?"
"There's no stakeout tonight."
"Oh-- Oh. That's okay. I'll just... Is this about last time? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get all in your face like that."
"I surprised you."
"Yeah, but, well, you can date who you like. It's not like you need to ask my permission or anything. It doesn't... affect me."
"Doesn't it?"
"..."
"Come with me."
"Where are we going?"
"To the car, for starters."
"Aw, come on, I just climbed eight flights of stairs to get up here. If this is your way of hinting that I'm gaining weight..."
"There is a quicker way down."
"...Seriously? I thought that was only for swooning damsels and fleeing criminals."
"Your choice."
"As if I'd pass on the chance to swing with the Batman."
"Hold on."
"Whoa!!"
"...Are you all right?"
"Are you kidding me? That was... That was... Wow! That was amazing! What I wouldn't give to be able to do that."
"You might learn. If you want."
"You're joking, right?"
"No. You have the musculature for it. You just need training and practice. Though it might be more practical to teach you some moves that you can use on the job first. You did excellent in the physicals at the Academy, I saw. That's a good start."
"Well, my parents were trapeze artists, after all. After I found out more about them, I tried to-- But it was just on my own. I couldn't even afford to play sports in school. You really think I could do some of the stuff you do?"
"You won't have my armor and equipment, but you can do some of it, yes. Get in."
"...Holy shit, I'm sitting in the Batmobile."
"Language. And seatbelt."
"Yes, Mr. Batman, sir. I'll be a good boy-- Holy lightspeed on a stick!"
"..."
"You can stop smirking now and watch the road!"
"It has auto-crash-avoidance."
"Wow. That's just... wow. So, where are we going? A crime scene? A tour of Old Gotham? The super-secret Batcave?"
"..."
"No way."
"..."
"Really?"
"..."
"Is it really a cave, or is it more like an office building?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"It's a cave."
"I knew it!"
"..."
"Batman?"
"...?"
"Look, it's not like I don't appreciate it -- and I am really excited -- but why? Why now?"
"...Talking about Selina made me realize how little you really know about me. How little I've let you know about me. You deserve more than that. I know you're trustworthy. You've kept my secrets since you were three."
"..."
"Dick?"
"Thanks. I-- Thank you. That means a lot to me."
"..."
"Ahem. So, I bet you have all sorts of cool stuff, huh? Bat-bikes, Bat-radios, Bat-laser guns, Bat-stationery on your Bat-desk..."
"Wait until you see the dinosaur."
"What?!"
END.
If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:
The Correlation Of Youth To Maturity (Batman), by kuonji
Conversations On The Stairs (Stargate SG-1), by kuonji
Good Afternoon, Officer (Nightwing), by Dunyazade
Reunion (Nightwing, Batman), by klose and Silencing
The Bat and Officer Grayson (Nightwing art), by st00pz
Series: Guardian Knight
Author: kuonji
Fandom: Batman
Characters: Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne
Pairings: mention of Bruce/FC
Category: character study, humor, family, alternate universe
Rating: PG-13
Words: ~1590
Summary: "Stakeout's no fun without company."
A/N: This takes place in the universe of Nocturnal Visitor. I suggest you read that first. I'm calling the series Guardian Knight for now, but if you think of a better name, let me know. :)
Stakeout
by kuonji
1. "Oh man, I snuck up on the Batman!"
"Show yourself."
"Oh man, I snuck up on the Batman!"
"...You didn't sneak up on me."
"Hey, don't get all defensive. I wouldn't have noticed you, except I was looking to set up a surveillance post here myself. See, I brought sandwiches. Do you want one?"
"...No, thank you. Why are you here?"
"Same reason you are. The Downtown Gotham Central case."
"I thought Bullock had you and Lee watching Otis."
"He did. That's what I was doing all day today. Most boring. Day. Ever. And totally useless. I knew Randall was our guy."
"How do you know that?"
"I got a look at the case file. Figured some things out. Besides, you're here, aren't you? That proves I'm right."
"I don't have the answers, Dick. I'm just running an investigation, the same as Bullock."
"Dios mío, don't make me laugh. You? Like Bullock?"
"I admit our practices are different-- Are you done?"
"...Yeah, I'm cool. 'Different', oh god."
"He's crass and abrasive and stubborn, I know, but he's a good detective. You should try to learn from him. You're still young and inexperienced. If this is truly what you want, you need to take every chance to better yourself."
"Okay. I'm sorry. I'll try harder. I will. It's just... I felt like I wasted my entire day when we could have been catching the real guy."
"Sometimes a case takes a surprising turn. Whether he's the mastermind behind the robbery or not, Otis is still a person of interest."
"When you put it like that... okay. Fine. Maybe I wasn't wasting my time. But I still think it's Randall."
"..."
"Sure you don't want a sandwich? Spam, mayonnaise, and paprika. Mrs. Almos used to make them like this. You won't regret it. Here, try a corner."
"Hm. It's... not bad."
"You don't have to be nice. Acquired taste, I know."
"..."
"Batman."
"Hn?"
"It is Randall, though, isn't it?"
"Without a doubt."
***
2. "Stakeout's no fun without company."
"I've known you were coming since you approached the building from across the street and entered through the door in the alley."
"Aw, I knew I could never sneak up on you again, so I didn't try real hard."
"You didn't sneak up on me last time."
"Sure, sure. Sandwich?"
"...No, thank you."
"It's ham this time."
"I already ate."
"Okay."
"...This isn't your case, Dick."
"I know."
"Why are you here?"
"Stakeout's no fun without company."
"Stakeouts aren't meant to be 'fun'. Don't you have an early shift tomorrow?"
"Yeah, so this way I won't be late."
"You're never late to work."
"True. This will guarantee it, right?"
"..."
"..."
"Bullock likes you."
"Huh?"
"I heard you received a commendation. It takes a lot to impress Bullock."
"Never had anyone who'd put up with him like I do, I'm guessing."
"Good work."
"Yeah, well, after what you said that first time, I realized I was blowing him off for no reason. You were right. He knows some good stuff."
"You could-- There's movement. It's Vito. He's early. I don't like this. Call it in and keep watch. I'm going in."
"Hey, wait, I can help!"
***
3. "I remember."
"Thanks for the note. I know you don't actually like me hanging around with you like this."
"I never said that."
"I wouldn't want to cramp your style."
"We're sitting on a rooftop. There's no style to speak of."
"...I'm sorry I messed up last time."
"You didn't."
"That man could've died."
"You did everything right."
"Except sweep the building for occupants, and shoot straight, for god's sake. It's lucky you stopped the car."
"Just don't make those mistakes again."
"'Every mistake is a lesson, not a failure.'"
"...What was that?"
"You said that to me. A long time ago. You-- I guess you don't remember. Never mind."
"I remember."
***
4. "And she likes yellow carnations."
"What do you know about the Commissioner's daughter?"
"..."
"..."
"She enjoys playing with computers and electronic gadgets. The last man she dated was an excellent cook. And she likes yellow carnations. I suggest you start with the flowers, since I've seen the state of your kitchen and you don't even know what a CPU is."
"...Thanks."
"We need to work on the subtlety of your interrogation technique."
"Oh my god, shut up."
***
5. "You should give it a try."
"Congratulations."
"I almost still can't believe it. I feel like-- I know it sounds totally arrogant, but I feel really special."
"You should. The GCPD is perpetually short of funds, and detectives' salaries don't come cheap. Commissioner Gordon pushed your promotion on the fast-track for a reason."
"Your sponsorship must have helped a lot."
"You're overestimating my influence on the regular police force. Not to mention, the politics involved with being associated with a vigilante. Jim's had experience navigating those waters. He saw something in you that he was willing to cash in some goodwill for. Don't let him down."
"I won't."
"Good."
"...Do you think Babs will consider it now that I'm a detective?"
"I don't think that's what was stopping her before."
"Ouch. Don't hold back."
"...I'm sorry."
"It's okay. No one loves Batman for his tact."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So... Do you have anyone special?"
"What?"
"Are you dating anyone? Or am I not allowed to know?"
"We're not-- No. I'm not."
"Oh-ho, sounds like a mystery to me! Who is she?"
"It doesn't matter."
"So there is someone!"
"I said it doesn't matter."
"Why not?"
"It would never work out."
"Maybe you should give it try? Even if it hurts, you'll at least know you did your best. Trust me."
***
6. "Holy fishsticks!"
"I did what you said."
"Huh?"
"The... woman I spoke of. We're in a relationship now. Of sorts."
"Of sorts? What does that mean? Are you seeing other people? Are you just fucking?"
"Language."
"Are you just sl-ee-ping to-ge-ther?"
"I'm... pretty sure it's more than that."
"Jesus, does she know--"
"Language."
"Does she know who you are?"
"...Yes."
"Oh. Wow. That's pretty major, then."
"Dick, I'm sorry--"
"No, I get it. It's okay. I've got too many connections to you already."
"..."
"So who's the lucky lady, anyway?"
"..."
"Batman?"
"She's-- You probably don't know her."
"Doesn't mean I don't want to learn more about her. What's her name?"
"Selina."
"That's a pretty name. Heh, Catwoman's named-- oh my god."
"What?"
"You-- You made a face."
"I didn't 'make a face'."
"You did! You totally did! Holy f-- fr-- fishsticks! You're going out with Catwoman? O mój Boże! Que estás loco!"
"You told me I should give it a try."
"I didn't know she was a criminal!"
***
7. "Where are we going?"
"I brought turkey this time... Hey, what's wrong?"
"There's no stakeout tonight."
"Oh-- Oh. That's okay. I'll just... Is this about last time? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get all in your face like that."
"I surprised you."
"Yeah, but, well, you can date who you like. It's not like you need to ask my permission or anything. It doesn't... affect me."
"Doesn't it?"
"..."
"Come with me."
"Where are we going?"
"To the car, for starters."
"Aw, come on, I just climbed eight flights of stairs to get up here. If this is your way of hinting that I'm gaining weight..."
"There is a quicker way down."
"...Seriously? I thought that was only for swooning damsels and fleeing criminals."
"Your choice."
"As if I'd pass on the chance to swing with the Batman."
"Hold on."
"Whoa!!"
"...Are you all right?"
"Are you kidding me? That was... That was... Wow! That was amazing! What I wouldn't give to be able to do that."
"You might learn. If you want."
"You're joking, right?"
"No. You have the musculature for it. You just need training and practice. Though it might be more practical to teach you some moves that you can use on the job first. You did excellent in the physicals at the Academy, I saw. That's a good start."
"Well, my parents were trapeze artists, after all. After I found out more about them, I tried to-- But it was just on my own. I couldn't even afford to play sports in school. You really think I could do some of the stuff you do?"
"You won't have my armor and equipment, but you can do some of it, yes. Get in."
"...Holy shit, I'm sitting in the Batmobile."
"Language. And seatbelt."
"Yes, Mr. Batman, sir. I'll be a good boy-- Holy lightspeed on a stick!"
"..."
"You can stop smirking now and watch the road!"
"It has auto-crash-avoidance."
"Wow. That's just... wow. So, where are we going? A crime scene? A tour of Old Gotham? The super-secret Batcave?"
"..."
"No way."
"..."
"Really?"
"..."
"Is it really a cave, or is it more like an office building?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"It's a cave."
"I knew it!"
"..."
"Batman?"
"...?"
"Look, it's not like I don't appreciate it -- and I am really excited -- but why? Why now?"
"...Talking about Selina made me realize how little you really know about me. How little I've let you know about me. You deserve more than that. I know you're trustworthy. You've kept my secrets since you were three."
"..."
"Dick?"
"Thanks. I-- Thank you. That means a lot to me."
"..."
"Ahem. So, I bet you have all sorts of cool stuff, huh? Bat-bikes, Bat-radios, Bat-laser guns, Bat-stationery on your Bat-desk..."
"Wait until you see the dinosaur."
"What?!"
END.
If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:
The Correlation Of Youth To Maturity (Batman), by kuonji
Conversations On The Stairs (Stargate SG-1), by kuonji
Good Afternoon, Officer (Nightwing), by Dunyazade
Reunion (Nightwing, Batman), by klose and Silencing
The Bat and Officer Grayson (Nightwing art), by st00pz