DS fic: Hazards In The Discount Aisle, by kuonji (G)
Title: Hazards In The Discount Aisle
Author: kuonji
Fandom: Due South
Characters: Francesca Vecchio, Diefenbaker, Turtle
Pairings: none
Category: humor
Rating: G
Words: ~670
Summary: Frannie would never have guessed it, but Diefenbaker made an excellent shopping buddy.
Written for brigantine1 as part of the 2011 Due South/C6D Homecoming Fest Thanksgiving Mini-Exchange.
Prompt: I would love something with Frannie and Dief, or with Turtle, or all three of them. Prompt is: "I never would have guessed!"
Hazards In The Discount Aisle
by kuonji
Frannie would never have guessed it, but Diefenbaker made an excellent shopping buddy. Fraser had told her once that wolves, contrary to popular belief, actually had a pretty good range of color vision. Plus, he had a nose that could tell nylon from polyester at a hundred paces.
"How's this, Dief?" she asked, holding up a powder blue top with ruffles. It was a little 80s, but the color was nice, and Fraser was an old-fashioned kind of guy, wasn't he?
Dief cocked his head to one side, considering. Then he sneezed.
"You think so? Okay." She put it back on the hanger. This was a breeze. She totally understood why Fraser talked to the wolf all the time.
Her purse bumped against a shelf as she reached for a pair of moccasin-like shoes. "Sorry!" she said. Opening her purse, she peered inside. Orange eyes stared back at her through the sliver of space Turtle had opened in his shell. Frowning, she asked Dief, "Are you sure he wanted to come?"
***
Dief barked in acknowledgement.
Sitting around inside a little glass box couldn't be much fun. He was doing Turtle a favor. He snuffled at the bottom of the purse where he knew Turtle was pouting. "This is nicer than being at home, isn't it?" he asked.
Turtle remained resoundingly uncommunicative. Well, a wolf could only try.
Dief skipped in front of Frannie and waved a paw in the air.
"You hungry?" she asked, the magical words he was waiting to hear. He barked and sat back on his haunches with his forelegs in front of him. Benton would scold him or maybe just drop dead from shock if he ever caught Diefenbaker begging like some lap dog, but Frannie had the most wonderful snacks.
He watched narrowly as she opened her purse and reached inside for the beef jerky he could smell in there. Vibrations from the floor caused him to snap his attention towards the back of the store, however, just as a man came barrelling at them. He smacked straight into Frannie, sprawling her slight frame to the floor.
A woman emerged from the change rooms in the back. Her lipsticked mouth formed the words, "Stop him! He stole my bag!"
***
Turtle toddled out of the cave of Frannie's purse, annoyed at the jarring drop and the commotion. He craned his neck up high and studied the situation. Frannie was just picking herself up beside him. A man was backing toward them, herded by a furious Diefenbaker, barking, "Get him! Get him! Get him!"
There was no help for it. He put his head back down and walked himself forward a precise five steps. Then he pulled in his head and all four legs and closed himself up tight.
A few seconds later, something kicked against him, followed by a loud shout, a wail, and a resounding thump. He heard Diefenbaker snarling very close by and Frannie doing the human equivalent of a growl. He opened the front hinge of his shell enough to see her beating the man, who was now lying on the ground, with a pair of boots from the display.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Ow! Please, stop!" the man begged.
There was an inquiring whine from Diefenbaker, and Frannie said, "Yeah, you're right. It'd be a waste to use a genuine leather purse strap. I'll go ask the service desk if they have something to tie him up with."
Satisfied that the situation was under control, Turtle poked his head out slightly to look around.
Frannie picked him up and kissed his nose. Startled, he drew back in with a whoosh of air. She smiled at him. "That was amazing! We're like some super crime-fighting team!"
She settled him back in her purse, where he was happy to stay. Super crime-fighting turtles needed their sleep.
***
"Frannie, we got the call. Are you okay? Hey, is that-- What's my turtle doing here?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, bro."
END.
If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:
Didn't See That Come-Around (Due South), by kuonji
Dief And Turtle's Day Off (Due South art), by look_turtles
Author: kuonji
Fandom: Due South
Characters: Francesca Vecchio, Diefenbaker, Turtle
Pairings: none
Category: humor
Rating: G
Words: ~670
Summary: Frannie would never have guessed it, but Diefenbaker made an excellent shopping buddy.
Written for brigantine1 as part of the 2011 Due South/C6D Homecoming Fest Thanksgiving Mini-Exchange.
Prompt: I would love something with Frannie and Dief, or with Turtle, or all three of them. Prompt is: "I never would have guessed!"
Hazards In The Discount Aisle
by kuonji
Frannie would never have guessed it, but Diefenbaker made an excellent shopping buddy. Fraser had told her once that wolves, contrary to popular belief, actually had a pretty good range of color vision. Plus, he had a nose that could tell nylon from polyester at a hundred paces.
"How's this, Dief?" she asked, holding up a powder blue top with ruffles. It was a little 80s, but the color was nice, and Fraser was an old-fashioned kind of guy, wasn't he?
Dief cocked his head to one side, considering. Then he sneezed.
"You think so? Okay." She put it back on the hanger. This was a breeze. She totally understood why Fraser talked to the wolf all the time.
Her purse bumped against a shelf as she reached for a pair of moccasin-like shoes. "Sorry!" she said. Opening her purse, she peered inside. Orange eyes stared back at her through the sliver of space Turtle had opened in his shell. Frowning, she asked Dief, "Are you sure he wanted to come?"
***
Dief barked in acknowledgement.
Sitting around inside a little glass box couldn't be much fun. He was doing Turtle a favor. He snuffled at the bottom of the purse where he knew Turtle was pouting. "This is nicer than being at home, isn't it?" he asked.
Turtle remained resoundingly uncommunicative. Well, a wolf could only try.
Dief skipped in front of Frannie and waved a paw in the air.
"You hungry?" she asked, the magical words he was waiting to hear. He barked and sat back on his haunches with his forelegs in front of him. Benton would scold him or maybe just drop dead from shock if he ever caught Diefenbaker begging like some lap dog, but Frannie had the most wonderful snacks.
He watched narrowly as she opened her purse and reached inside for the beef jerky he could smell in there. Vibrations from the floor caused him to snap his attention towards the back of the store, however, just as a man came barrelling at them. He smacked straight into Frannie, sprawling her slight frame to the floor.
A woman emerged from the change rooms in the back. Her lipsticked mouth formed the words, "Stop him! He stole my bag!"
***
Turtle toddled out of the cave of Frannie's purse, annoyed at the jarring drop and the commotion. He craned his neck up high and studied the situation. Frannie was just picking herself up beside him. A man was backing toward them, herded by a furious Diefenbaker, barking, "Get him! Get him! Get him!"
There was no help for it. He put his head back down and walked himself forward a precise five steps. Then he pulled in his head and all four legs and closed himself up tight.
A few seconds later, something kicked against him, followed by a loud shout, a wail, and a resounding thump. He heard Diefenbaker snarling very close by and Frannie doing the human equivalent of a growl. He opened the front hinge of his shell enough to see her beating the man, who was now lying on the ground, with a pair of boots from the display.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Ow! Please, stop!" the man begged.
There was an inquiring whine from Diefenbaker, and Frannie said, "Yeah, you're right. It'd be a waste to use a genuine leather purse strap. I'll go ask the service desk if they have something to tie him up with."
Satisfied that the situation was under control, Turtle poked his head out slightly to look around.
Frannie picked him up and kissed his nose. Startled, he drew back in with a whoosh of air. She smiled at him. "That was amazing! We're like some super crime-fighting team!"
She settled him back in her purse, where he was happy to stay. Super crime-fighting turtles needed their sleep.
***
"Frannie, we got the call. Are you okay? Hey, is that-- What's my turtle doing here?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, bro."
END.
If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:
Didn't See That Come-Around (Due South), by kuonji
Dief And Turtle's Day Off (Due South art), by look_turtles