sethrenn wrote this, but it is about both them and ourselves.

[ksol1460]

"... About the rather scary number of people in both of our lives who have told us "You look better than I've ever seen you...", "you look more alive than I've ever seen...", "you have a light in you these days that's wonderful to see...", "you're finally coming out of your shell and starting to flourish, I can see how much better you're doing..."

Comments

[jhonathand]

"This actually isn't even just an attitude we've received from therapists-- sometimes it seems like nearly every single person in our life has responded with some variation of this to us."

-The Wall of Mundane Denial. Most of our friends will automaticaly put the lable of "Unhappy" on us when in all reality we are more content with things than we have been in a long time. People like to project their issues on those whom they call their nearest and dearest because they want Validation to what they're actually feeling.

"or we're fundamentally wrong about what we're feeling and everyone else is right. Going with the latter interpretation never helped us any, although we tried valiantly to believe it at times."

-Second Guessing always leads to failure. It's tough to stick to your guns and proceed with "Feeling" or "Expierencing" what you think is the True emotion at the time.

"When we're doing our own thing and being our own selves, that's when we've been perceived as unhappy and withdrawn."- The Mundane population seems to take

[catskillmarina]

We really don't even try to look like a singlet. We may not explain our switching to people
but we do not try to stop it or cover it up.

We were taught be be ourselves as a kid and we stuck to it.

...and we really have no problems because of it.

[sethrenn]

I think something possibly relevant here is that both you and we have run into a fair number of people who thought their way of being was superior to others' and more enlightened, not necessarily in singlicity vs. pluralanity but in their morals, worldview, etc.

Hence when we gave signs of shutting up and agreeing with everything they said, or behaving like little clones of them, we were suddenly alive in a way we'd never been before.

[spookshow_girl]

More than a little telling really.

BTW: You're icon is amusing, in part because we have anecdotal evidence of this. If we got a bunch of our friends in the room, and had them say who was the first, etc, a fight might break out.

--Me

[spookshow_girl]

I know the feeling, somewhat. I've been lucky with some specific friends.

More often than not, people have no idea what's going on, unless I tell them, and since telling people has a habit of being to my disadvantage, I'm rarely inclined to. That has entertaining side effects at times.

That said; I've noticed how certain friends have an easy time being led on, so to speak, while others really do catch on, and notice when our states are improving, or worsening.

Some people don't seem to really want more than an image of a friend. Preferably a collected or together friend.

We're not "For Entertainment Purposes Only". We, nor do you or sethrenn for that matter, are not there to make them feel better about their worldview, or confirm their paradigms. We aren't there to fit their pretty picture of what it means for us to be okay.

I think I'm trying to get at something philosophical, or something. Damned if I can clearly express it, maybe I can, but I'm kind of distracted by a similar issue.

--Me

[sagashimashite]

Ack, bad HTML! (This is a repost of a deleted comment with the same text, all italics from bad typing)

Our truth was often uncomfortable for others, it seems, which apparently justified their trying to force us back into a position where we'd shut up about it, so that our well-being could be sacrificed for THEIR well-being. People get uncomfortable for some reason at the idea that they don't know The Real True You.If there is one thing that we are certain about, it's that we don't know The Real True ANYONE. It's a dangerous assumption. For one thing, people change over time: the man who wades into the river isn't the same one that emerges on the other side, or even the one in the very middle of the riverbed. You can find yourself holding on to an outdated view of someone for a long, long time, just because you somehow didn't notice the changes over the years

"Mack is not always the fun one"

[brandon2431]

We often have a similar experience, and it gets quite amusing.
We have a member named Alex, who is supposed to be "the angry one". Well, of course, he isn't angry all the time, or even most of the time. And the rest of us have tempers too. So (of course) any time any of us get mad, it's supposed to be that "Alex came out".
Alex absolutely loves it. He gets credit for so much stuff that he had nothing to do with!

The rest of us have similar experiences/problems as well. We're trying to find a balance of accepting how popular thought on the subject tends to go....without being complicit in how popular thought on the subject goes. Because popular thought on the subject, is wrong. (Sigh...people are slow.)