Losing a friend...

[kseenaa]

I don't even know how to start this post, but...

I found out I've lost a really good friend yesterday. She killed herself. Slit her wrists and her throat. Less than two weeks ago.

We'd known each other for about 5 years. She was such a wonderful woman. Struggling with the incurable disease Lupus or SLE, not to mention sever depression and

Comments

[melluransa]

I'm sorry! How sad. I feel bad for her little boy.

[kseenaa]

Yes. I agree. Although I feel for her room-mate and best friend to, of course, I grieve and worry so much about her son. He's a really good kid and she loved him so much. *sigh*

[zeph317toho]

I am so very sorry for your loss. *hugs*

[kseenaa]

Yeah, I feel horrible. :-/ Trying to deal with it day to day while living my life is not easy, you know? I see all the roleplaying we've done that I could re-read if I wanted, since it's all there... but I just feel like bursting to tears. *sigh* I miss her so much.

[blue_eye]

Stepped back and read this...didn't realize it was so close. I am so sorry for your loss. In 2012, I lost a good LJ friend who took her own life. She lived in NY before she had to move back to Australia. I still wonder today if there was something I could have said/done. Probably not, since she has friends physically closer in real life that couldn't help her.

{{{hugs}}}

[kseenaa]

Thank you. Yeah, it was quite the shock. She's been suffering from depression and quite a bit of other problems since I got to know her, but I never thought it would go this far. I never did. I miss her and think about her every day. :-(

[ledflyd]

well that fucking blows.

[kseenaa]

That would just be the beginning of it. :-/ It's really tough, and I randomly think of her when being online and looking at fandomstuff and get a bit sad. I miss her, and I wish I could have been there more for her, you know?

Thanx for coming over and giving me a random thought. *HUGS* Take good care of Rushi.

[ruchirahni]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had no idea that when I lost Chloe you were going through the same thing at the same time. How are you doing now? I guess the days are easier than they were at the beginning, but I still miss her so much.

It's amazing, how much pain people can be in.

[kseenaa]

Destiny is funny that way, isn't it? It really really sucks that some people are in so much pain emotinally and mentally that the only way out for them is to end it.

I am doing pretty good now, but it strikes me randomly that she is really gone. Like when she had her birthday the other day. Or would have had....

I can't stop thinking about her son. Or feel more or less guilty over the fact I could not be there more for her.

I pray that does not make me selfish. :-P