Hey there- very lovely story!! I enjoyed the interaction between Steve and Danny intensely and loved how you made Danny have knowledge that Steve lacked that helped them survive.
Only one tiny quibble? I cannot see anyone from New Jersey EVER being a Red Sox fan unless their mother or father were and they grew up there... Danny is a Giants fan where football is concerned, so he'd very likely be a Yankee fan... and every Yankee fan I have ever met (married one LOL) HATES the Sox with a passion. ;D It is a tiny thing, but I figure you might want to know ;)
I made a tiny tweak to one of the sentences to help with Danny being a Sox fan based on your suggestion so it might be less jarring for some. I have friends in New Jersey who do not like the Yankees and like the Red Sox, so there is proof the whole state is not single-minded in those regards. :-P
I admit I'm more of a football fan so I am not an expert.
Great adventure :-) Parts of this are hella-intense and it has a great pace. Some great little details, too! Can you really scrape salt of mango fronds?
Thank you!! I wanted something fun, but realistic when it came to the rain forest.
Steve scraped salt off the bark of a Mangrove which is a woody tree that grows in the tropics. They retain salt through their roots. Who knew! They originated in Asia before migrating. And no, I had no clue about them. :-P
You would be surprised how hard it is to find salt in a rainforest if you are not near the ocean. Every survival site assumes you have salt, or that you are stranded on the beach. It wasn't until I found an Army Guide for commandos specifically written for jungle survival that I read about the Mangrove tree and the of use animal blood for salt and electrolytes. /o\
My treat was to sit in peace and quiet nd read this. Thoroughly enjoyed it. You capture their exchanges well and I could actually see parts of it happening. Love how they need each other, their personal experiences and knowledge filling in the blanks for the other - you show that well.
Thank you! One of the biggest compliments is to know a reader can visualize what is on the page. I wanted Steve and Danny to each have knowledge and skills and to be in positions to support one another.
I'm so grateful we had a minor cooling off yesterday and last night or reading this today might've thrown me right over the edge of Too Hot, Too Humid, Too "I Need A Snowbank NOW". :-) I've only ever been in my area's subtropical heat and (way too generous) humidity, but that was enough of a leg up to make me feel even worse for Danny and Steve, with all those days stacked together of it -- just the discomfort alone would've been hellish even before adding in the dangers and survival factors
( ... )
You have no idea how stoked I was to hear you had a chance to read this. Yay for a cool spell and some spare time to relax and enjoy yourself!
I really wanted to dive into the real nitty gritty of jungle survival. The heat, humidity, all the bugs, the unclean conditions. But of course I wanted to add all that water to really muck things up. I feel bad for the guys, they were a catharsis vehicle for some miserable weeks.
I wanted Steve and Danny to both have their own skills and knowledge. But Steve's kind of hyper aware of all the dangers and he falls back on his training and it's those skills that not only help keep them alive, but is his mental coping mechanism. And Danny takes Steve's lead, but he won't be bossed around. No, sir :)
It was fun to put them through hell and see how they came out at the end. Together. Leaning on one another, trusting and caring for one another.
Where do I begin. Yaaaaaaaah. The sense of realism was real. At one point as I was reading, I realised that I had my hand over my mouth, because it was so visceral. The uncleanliness of their slow trek through the tropical rain forest jungle. Ewwwww. My skin was crawling. I was right there.
Steve would be more experienced at manoeuvring his way through this environment. Danny balked, but the reality (and he recognises it) is that Steve is more experienced, yet he won’t allow himself to be bossed. That characterisation is spot on for the pair of them.
Tree torches. I kind of really want to try to make on of these. What a good idea. If I am ever lost on a tropical island, this will be a valuable lesson.
Thoroughly enjoyable.
Oh and:
Fidget fidget fidget. Steve fidgets, I love that observation, because it is so true. Steve the fidgeter.
Ps. Was the snake poisonous? Non-indigenous Boiga irregularis?
At one point as I was reading, I realised that I had my hand over my mouth, because it was so visceral.
*beams*
This means a lot coming from you. I really wanted the reader to feel the misery of such horrible conditions, then I wanted to make things worse by throwing non-stop rain on the situation, because that really screws with your ability to survive.
I discovered the tree torch late in the story and it really was this beautifully, simple thing. Thank goodness for military resources :)
The snake was not poisonous and your author admits to the mistake of writing stripes and not diamond markings. :)
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Only one tiny quibble? I cannot see anyone from New Jersey EVER being a Red Sox fan unless their mother or father were and they grew up there... Danny is a Giants fan where football is concerned, so he'd very likely be a Yankee fan... and every Yankee fan I have ever met (married one LOL) HATES the Sox with a passion. ;D It is a tiny thing, but I figure you might want to know ;)
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I made a tiny tweak to one of the sentences to help with Danny being a Sox fan based on your suggestion so it might be less jarring for some. I have friends in New Jersey who do not like the Yankees and like the Red Sox, so there is proof the whole state is not single-minded in those regards. :-P
I admit I'm more of a football fan so I am not an expert.
Reply
Reply
Steve scraped salt off the bark of a Mangrove which is a woody tree that grows in the tropics. They retain salt through their roots. Who knew! They originated in Asia before migrating. And no, I had no clue about them. :-P
You would be surprised how hard it is to find salt in a rainforest if you are not near the ocean. Every survival site assumes you have salt, or that you are stranded on the beach. It wasn't until I found an Army Guide for commandos specifically written for jungle survival that I read about the Mangrove tree and the of use animal blood for salt and electrolytes. /o\
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Thanks!!
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:)
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I really wanted to dive into the real nitty gritty of jungle survival. The heat, humidity, all the bugs, the unclean conditions. But of course I wanted to add all that water to really muck things up. I feel bad for the guys, they were a catharsis vehicle for some miserable weeks.
I wanted Steve and Danny to both have their own skills and knowledge. But Steve's kind of hyper aware of all the dangers and he falls back on his training and it's those skills that not only help keep them alive, but is his mental coping mechanism. And Danny takes Steve's lead, but he won't be bossed around. No, sir :)
It was fun to put them through hell and see how they came out at the end. Together. Leaning on one another, trusting and caring for one another.
So, glad you enjoyed it, hon!! *smiches*
Reply
Steve would be more experienced at manoeuvring his way through this environment. Danny balked, but the reality (and he recognises it) is that Steve is more experienced, yet he won’t allow himself to be bossed. That characterisation is spot on for the pair of them.
Tree torches. I kind of really want to try to make on of these. What a good idea. If I am ever lost on a tropical island, this will be a valuable lesson.
Thoroughly enjoyable.
Oh and:
Fidget fidget fidget. Steve fidgets, I love that observation, because it is so true. Steve the fidgeter.
Ps. Was the snake poisonous? Non-indigenous Boiga irregularis?
Reply
*beams*
This means a lot coming from you. I really wanted the reader to feel the misery of such horrible conditions, then I wanted to make things worse by throwing non-stop rain on the situation, because that really screws with your ability to survive.
I discovered the tree torch late in the story and it really was this beautifully, simple thing. Thank goodness for military resources :)
The snake was not poisonous and your author admits to the mistake of writing stripes and not diamond markings. :)
Reply
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