Our Mean Entertainments (after Ehrenreich)

[krinndnz]

Let me tell you about a terrible habit of mine. I think less of my money-starved friends when, for instance, they make serial videogame purchases, they go see movies, they eat out. I shout in my head - no! what are you thinking, those are luxuries, save your money and fight the poverty

Comments

[bossgoji]

Apology accepted, hon. I still don't think it's a bad decision, personally, but your heart is definitely in the right place. <3

Re: The relativity of bad decisions

[circuit_four]

Errr, I might have to jump in and play champion to my little sister here. 'Cause you're kinda doing that thing again, dear. :) Not necessarily the O thing, but the thing that IMHO sorta demands a response of "Yes, but..."

As in, "Yes, but is anyone already in a stressed-out state going to be in a good headspace to receive and act upon any of this great wisdom?" And "Yes, but is the emotional damage and frustration you're likely to inflict by laying it out on the line so bluntly, however well it relieves your own needs, actually going to help, or harm, the cause of inducing behaviors you think are better and healthier?"

Darlin', you know your emotional credit is WAY in the black with me, but you're stepping in on an apology, and probably a pretty productive and necessary one that looks like it was hard come by for everyone involved. I think it's safe to say we all value your opinion highly and, umm... "yes, you're very perceptive." >_>; It might feel to you like all the extra equivocation is padding the blow, but I have a worried

Re: The relativity of bad decisions

[ff00ff]

Of course, this all comes coupled with the dilemma that poverty is treated in this country as a moral failing, which means that one can't say "you don't have the money for that" without implying by default "you aren't good enough for it," and that, I think, is the furthest thing from anyone's mind.

I think, "you're not good enough for that," is explicitly on a lot of people's minds in this situation. I wouldn't accuse anyone I know of of that sort of spiteful thinking, but it's a subtetxt in so many arguments about managing poor finances.

[ff00ff]

Morale is critical in a long term survival situation. Being poor, not having access to medical help, healthy food, safe shelter, is a long term survival situation. In a condition of poor morale any crisis might kill you. When on the verge of a psychological crisis, caused by poor morale, sometimes all I can do is make an otherwise irrational purchase. Cold comfort can only be lived on for so long. Rationing satisfaction and happiness eventually starts to starve you of it. Alertness for ways to minimize the next crisis is exhausting. A replenishing splurge of self gratification is needed. If movies and video games are your only vice you're probably managing your poverty fairly well.

[circuit_four]

This.

[circuit_four]

And if you don't get "This," then you can end up going Bad Crazy, and shoplifting trading-game cards from WOTC and energy bars from the local grocery.

It was not a happy time in my life, though it was fortunately brief. I'm not proud of it.

[tixen]

We didn't have a Wizards of the Coast where I grew up. I had to shoplift my trading-game cards from the small local chain of gaming stores that had a location in town. Energy bars, candy and the nice pencils were shoplifted from the grocery store down the street.

I never felt worse about this phase in my life then when I revisited that small town to find the aforementioned chain of gaming stores had gone out of business. ;_;

[sabotabby]

This is a really good post.

I have to admit that I get taken aback when my kids don't have lunch money but they own cell phones or PSPs. And then I do the same sort of thought process that you posted about. And also that they don't deserve these toys less than rich kids do.

(Weirdly, when I was growing up, I seldom got new clothes and didn't get many toys, not to mention heat in the winter, because my mother believed it was very important to save like the Man tells you to. But I understand why others wouldn't take to that attitude.)

[krinndnz]

Hey, thanks. I trust the quivering of your antennae about class issues.

[tixen]

I wrote a long comment, but my mouse ate it. I am tixen's rage.

[seritaph]

Y'know, it's funny. I have, for all practical intents and purposes, developed a pathological fear of "the other shoe dropping." This has affected my larger purchase plans (car upgrade, housing) to the point where if I am forced into a situation where I have to commit to such a cost it tends to affect my health from the sheer stress of being endlessly terrified that everything is about to go south again. I actually feel better when things go to hell since hey, I do not have to worry about it anymore

[seritaph]

Er, sorry. This is really not in theme with your post or the other comments. Time for me to get some sleep!