SGA Fic - Culture Clash
Title: Culture Clash
Rating: G, gen, humor
Characters: Team
Warnings: Involves a discussion that may squick some. See bottom of story for more details.
Summary: Everyone's culture is weird. Yes, that's right, an SGA fic! Just a little humorous ficlet that popped into my head. Not beta'd, but edited like crazy.
Culture Clash
“I want to apologize.”
John and Rodney looked up from their video game at Ronon. John asked, “For what, buddy?”
Teyla elbowed Ronon. He grunted petulantly. “For calling your world stupid.”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “And what aspect of our culture were you sneering at this time?”
“The needle thing.”
“I believe you call it acupuncture,” Teyla said.
John blinked. “O-kaaaay?”
“Barbaric voodoo medicine at its worst,” Rodney mumbled, shoulders hunched.
“Your needles are too tiny,” said Ronon. “They don't even draw any blood. I don't see the point.”
“The point is it's supposed to help you relax,” John said.
Ronon's eyebrows lifted. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Then why'd McKay call it barbaric?”
“Because it is!” Rodney snapped. “I mean, hello, needles. Lots and lots of needles.”
John snorted. “It's not that bad. Buddy of mine used to do the acupuncture thing for his bad backs all the time.”
“And did it cure him of his bad backs?” Rodney challenged.
“I think they stuck so many needles in him that he bled to death.”
Rodney gave John a withering look that made John smirk.
“So it's not a test of endurance?” Ronon said.
“Depends on who you ask,” Rodney muttered.
“On Sateda, some would train themselves to endure pain by piercing the flesh all over their bodies with needles as thick as a man's finger.”
Rodney paled. “All over?”
“All over.”
John grimaced, briefly. “Some cultures on our world'll stick giant bones through their nose, lips and ears. Suppose that's not the same, though.”
“Some ancient Satedan clans would do that. Some clans, they would puncture the skin of their back, stick pegs through the holes, attach rope to the pegs and pull things.”
John nodded sagely. “I went to a freak show where a guy would put meat-hooks through these holes in his back and hang from the hooks.”
“Knew a guy who could hang from a rope by his tongue.” Ronon grinned. “Used to impress the hell out of women.”
“Walking on glass or hot coals is a big thing on our world,” Sheppard said.
“Young Athosian hunters would cover themselves in animal blood in order to draw out the Rakros,” said Teyla. “They are like your world's sharks, only land dwellers that hunt in large packs. The practice was banned when the number of dead hunters was more than the number of skins collected.”
“So what, exactly, brought all this up?” Rodney huffed.
Ronon beamed. “The archaeologists asked us about our cultures again.”
“Yeah, you need to stop talking to them,” Rodney returned his attention to the game. Blessed silence followed. He sighed in relief.
John said, “You know, we've got this one culture--”
The end
Warning: Discussion includes mentions of harmless, freak-show/Fear Factor style self-mutilation.
Rating: G, gen, humor
Characters: Team
Warnings: Involves a discussion that may squick some. See bottom of story for more details.
Summary: Everyone's culture is weird. Yes, that's right, an SGA fic! Just a little humorous ficlet that popped into my head. Not beta'd, but edited like crazy.
Culture Clash
“I want to apologize.”
John and Rodney looked up from their video game at Ronon. John asked, “For what, buddy?”
Teyla elbowed Ronon. He grunted petulantly. “For calling your world stupid.”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “And what aspect of our culture were you sneering at this time?”
“The needle thing.”
“I believe you call it acupuncture,” Teyla said.
John blinked. “O-kaaaay?”
“Barbaric voodoo medicine at its worst,” Rodney mumbled, shoulders hunched.
“Your needles are too tiny,” said Ronon. “They don't even draw any blood. I don't see the point.”
“The point is it's supposed to help you relax,” John said.
Ronon's eyebrows lifted. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Then why'd McKay call it barbaric?”
“Because it is!” Rodney snapped. “I mean, hello, needles. Lots and lots of needles.”
John snorted. “It's not that bad. Buddy of mine used to do the acupuncture thing for his bad backs all the time.”
“And did it cure him of his bad backs?” Rodney challenged.
“I think they stuck so many needles in him that he bled to death.”
Rodney gave John a withering look that made John smirk.
“So it's not a test of endurance?” Ronon said.
“Depends on who you ask,” Rodney muttered.
“On Sateda, some would train themselves to endure pain by piercing the flesh all over their bodies with needles as thick as a man's finger.”
Rodney paled. “All over?”
“All over.”
John grimaced, briefly. “Some cultures on our world'll stick giant bones through their nose, lips and ears. Suppose that's not the same, though.”
“Some ancient Satedan clans would do that. Some clans, they would puncture the skin of their back, stick pegs through the holes, attach rope to the pegs and pull things.”
John nodded sagely. “I went to a freak show where a guy would put meat-hooks through these holes in his back and hang from the hooks.”
“Knew a guy who could hang from a rope by his tongue.” Ronon grinned. “Used to impress the hell out of women.”
“Walking on glass or hot coals is a big thing on our world,” Sheppard said.
“Young Athosian hunters would cover themselves in animal blood in order to draw out the Rakros,” said Teyla. “They are like your world's sharks, only land dwellers that hunt in large packs. The practice was banned when the number of dead hunters was more than the number of skins collected.”
“So what, exactly, brought all this up?” Rodney huffed.
Ronon beamed. “The archaeologists asked us about our cultures again.”
“Yeah, you need to stop talking to them,” Rodney returned his attention to the game. Blessed silence followed. He sighed in relief.
John said, “You know, we've got this one culture--”
The end
Warning: Discussion includes mentions of harmless, freak-show/Fear Factor style self-mutilation.