(Untitled)

[krazykitkat]

Was reading a discussion about drabbles and whether they're just scenes (of a whole) or should be a self contained story. I've kinda written both, but there is one that is up there with Athenaeum in terms of quality (imo), and I think it would be less of a story if more words were added. Excuse my moment of remincising, it's just been so long

Comments

[raedbard]

I think I've read this before, but I think it must be vastly more painful this time around, with all the canon behind us. I'm sitting here with my hand over my mouth, reading it over. It's so beautiful and so achingly sad, and I think you're spot on putting it up there with 'Athenaeum', which you know I think is a masterpiece.

The first two lines are absolutely amazing - imagery, structure, sense. The brevity which gives it the right sense of inevitability. I don't know who I'm feeling more broken for, him or her. ♥

[krazykitkat]

*sniff*

Thank you. I do love those first two lines, especially that imagery (I struggle with imagery).

It's funny, CJ/Danny are my love, but my best stories have been CJ/Toby. It's the dynamics of the pairings I guess.

[lifeasanamazon]

That's just so bloody wonderful. You've made me cry.

[krazykitkat]

*hands over tissues*

I'm glad I reposted it, feeling a bit better about myself.

[gypsygem81]

Sweet! That is so sweet! I love the 'I told you he was a good man' flashback.

[krazykitkat]

Thank you :)

[athena4lynn]

Beautiful! And you're right, self-contained. I'm not sure it would be quite so painful if expanded. It certainly COULD be, but...It works better this way. Definitely.

[krazykitkat]

I definitely think so. It is a moment, but it says everything you need to know.

Thank you.

cries

[vegawriters]

The images in this will stay with me the rest of the day. This is beautiful. And compeltely a story in and of itself.

Re: cries

[krazykitkat]

Thank you very much.

*tissues*