Crossing the Line/O.T.T. Part 13/?
Title: Crossing the Line/O.T.T. (Part 13/?)
Author: cunningdeb
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: adam/kris
Summary: Set between the Idol finale and the start of the summer tour. Adam gets too much attention from a few of his “adoring” fans
Disclaimer: I do not own the people involved. This story does not depict the majority of Adam’s fans - idea brought on by stalker incident in Tampa.
Warnings: language, angst, violence, anxiety issues. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE TRIGGERS. I don’t know if it’s classified as non-con but Adam didn’t want the kind of attention he was given - recalled in conversation, remembrances.
Part One - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/2135.html#cutid1
Part Two - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/2471.html#cutid1
Part Three - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/2575.html#cutid1
Part Four - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/3170.html#cutid1
Part Five - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/3170.html#cutid1
Part Six - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/3453.html#cutid1
Part Seven - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/3610.html#cutid1
Part Eight - http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/904034.html#cutid1
Part Nine - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/4139.html#cutid1
Part Ten - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/4489.html#cutid1
Part Eleven - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/4732.html#cutid1
Part Twelve - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/5018.html#cutid1
Deb’s notes: Okay be ready to hate me. Another gut wrenching chapter and cliffhanger. I found this very difficult to write. Please, please take my warnings seriously, especially regarding triggers. This is the angstiest angst I’ve written to date and I hope no one is turned off. As the saying goes, things can only get better from here on.
PART THIRTEEN
The double doors opened on chaos. Outside their room, Goliath was leaning against the wall, hand on his head, Allison tending to him. Voices reached him like a sonic boom -
Lil: “Adam, baby, calm down, calm down.”
Adam: “GO AWAY! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”
Megan: “Put that down…Adam, sweetie…please put that down!”
Adam: “GET OUT! DON’T COME NEAR ME!”
Crash. Screaming.
The boys bolted past Kris, sprinting to the room.
Male voice: “Adam, you have to stop this. Don’t make us use force.”
Kris recognized the voice; it belonged to another member of their security team. The staff elevator at the other end of the hall opened and the hotel manager emerged, followed by more security.
“What’s going on here?” The hotel manager was furious, his security surrounding the door. “I’m calling the police.”
“No! Don’t!”
Kris snapped out of his haze and was in the thrall within seconds. “Please, don’t. Let me handle this.”
He gave his cell to Goliath.
“Call Dr. Keeling - tell her what’s happening - ask her to come now.”
Goliath still looked dazed but nodded.
“I’ll help him - you help Adam,” Allison pleaded, her face tear stained.
The rest of the boys had entered the room and the doorway was so crowded, Kris couldn’t get through or see over it.
Lil: “Everything’s going to be okay baby, we’re hear to help you.”
Adam: “NO, YOU WANT TO HURT ME! GO AWAY….please!”
Kris heard Adam’s voice crack, pleading like a child. He tried to push through but the wall of bodies might as well have been made of granite.
“Adam! Adam! I’m here, I’m here,” Kris yelled unnoticed. Everyone was yelling, trying different approaches to get through to Adam.
Adam’s screaming reached a fevered pitch. “STAY AWAY! NNNOOOOOO!”
“What’s happening! ADAMMMMMM!!!!”
Using strength he never knew he possessed, Kris fought his way through, not caring if anyone got hurt in the process. The only thoughts racing in his head were ‘I must get to Adam! I must get to Adam!’.
Finally, he burst through the other end and stopped dead. His heart jumped into his throat, choking him as he watched the action playing out before him.
Somehow, and for a reason unknown to Kris, two security guards had gotten hold of Adam. The room was nearly destroyed - much worse than when Adam had been hiding out. Each man had Adam by an arm, holding on with a vice grip. His arms pulled back, Adam was bent over, tugging, struggling, roaring, a proud lion in a hunter’s snare.
The harder he fought them, the harder they held on. Adam’s face was down, his black hair a wild mess and dripping in sweat.
“LET ME GO! I DON’T WANT THIS! DON’T TOUCH ME!”
Adam peered up through his bangs, spying Kris. Adam’s makeup was all over his red face, zombie like eyes seeing Kris but not seeing him.
“Kris, run, get away, get away, they’ll take you too….RUN, PLEASE, RUN!”
“Stop it, let him go!”
“We can’t. He’s going to hurt somebody or himself.”
“No! You’re hurting him, stop! Please!”
The struggles continued a few minutes more, than Adam’s legs gave out from under him and he sank like a brick onto the carpet. His captors eased his descent, letting go. Adam curled into himself, rocking back and forth, his forceful screams reduced to heartbreaking whimpers.
Kris fell to his knees before him. He placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder and Adam scurried away on all fours into the corner of the room, turning his face to the wall, back to the staring crowd, arms over his head. One hand scratched the wall.
“Go away,” he pleaded softly, “I gave you autographs, I gave you pictures, I gave you my heart, why are you hurting me?”
Kris turned to the crowd behind him. Every face was drenched in tears, some held on to each other. The fog slowly parted. He replayed Adam’s words in his mind - ‘leave me alone’, ‘don’t come near me’, ‘let me go’, ‘I don’t want this’, ‘don’t touch me’,
‘I gave you autographs…pictures…my heart…why…are…you…hurting…me’.
A flashback - Adam was trapped in a horrific flashback of the attack. Kris looked again at the crowd - men and women, male and female - just like the gang that surrounded him in that abandoned store. Adam was hallucinating, reliving that day.
Kris stood, placing himself between Adam and the well meaning group. Adam’s whimpering echoed in the now silent room.
“Everyone leave. If you really want to help Adam, leave us alone.”
“But Kris,” one of the security guys uttered, “are you sure. He’s been so violent. He might hurt you.”
Megan spoke up, speaking for their friends. “Adam would never hurt Kris. He’s lost, we can see that. Kris knows what he’s doing.”
Everyone filtered out, closing the door behind them. Kris turned to Adam. Like hell he knew what he was doing. If he knew what the fuck he was doing, he would have insisted Adam get professional help earlier instead of trying to be the supportive buddy and not pressure him. This episode was partially his fault.
Kris went to his knees once more but didn’t invade Adam’s space.
“Adam, they’re gone, it’s just you and me.”
Adam jerkily moved his head, unblinking eyes scanning the room and falling in the end on Kris.
“You okay, they hurt you too?” Adam whispered as if ‘they’ would hear him.
“I’m fine. Nobody hurt me. You’re fine too.”
Adam’s head shook violently, one word tripping over the other. “No, no, they hurt me, they want things from me, I said no, they laughed, didn’t listen, touched me, took from me, everywhere, they’re everywhere, never going away.”
Kris ventured closer. Adam seemed to accept his presence. “They ARE gone Adam, they can never hurt you again. Remember, we made sure of that?”
“NO!”
A worried head popped through the door. Kris turned and waved them away. The door closed.
Adam pointed at the door, his finger stabbing the air. “See, see, always here, everywhere, in the shadows, in my head, always in my head, out there in my world, sucking away my air, never going to stop, never going to stop, you tried, I tried, others tried, never going to happen.”
Kris moved closer til he could reach his friend, his love. Slowly, Kris placed his hands on Adam’s shoulders, Adam flinched.
“It’s okay baby, I’m the one touching you, only me. Come to me Adam, hold on tight.”
Adam withdrew out of his huddle and fell into Kris’ arms. His head on Kris’s chest, he was swallowed in love, in Kris’ strong, safe arms. Kris rested his cheek on Adam’s head, whispering calming words of love. Adam’s breath ragged, he didn’t cry, didn’t speak, just disappeared into his own sorrow.
The door to their room opened once more and a man and woman entered. It was Dr. Keeling and Kris assumed the man was Dr. Evans. They ignored the mess around them and joined the couple entwined on the floor.
Dr. Keeling brushed Adam’s hair from his face. Adam didn’t notice someone else was there, he just hung on to Kris like a child clings to his mother.
“Good Lord Kris what happened?”
Kris recanted the event. “I’ve never heard of an anxiety attack like this,” he concluded.
“That’s because Adam isn’t suffering from anxiety attacks,” the man spoke up, his voice soothing.
“Kris, this is Dr. Evans.”
Kris gave him a tired smile. Adams started mumbling and Kris tightened his hold.
“I reviewed his file. It seems to me he’s suffering from PSTD - post traumatic stress disorder.”
“Isn’t that what soldier’s get when they come back from war?”
“Yes, some of them suffer from it, but so do those who have experienced traumatic events, such as a violent assault and sexual or physical abuse.”
“You can help him, can’t you?”
“Yes, Kris, we can.”
Dr. Keeling reached into her purse and pulled out a syringe and vial.
“What’s that for?” Kris’s voice was tinged with panic.
“It’s just a sedative to help him rest. He won’t last long, just long enough for his mind to calm down so we can all talk about this. Is that okay with you?”
“I guess…you’ve taken good care of him before.”
Adam didn’t feel her hands rolling up his sleeve or the pin prick of the needle. His eyes got heavy and the noise in his head faded away. A blanket of darkness covered him and he felt at peace.
Dr. Evan’s helped Kris carry Adam to the bed. Dr. Keeling checked Adam over as Dr. Evans drew Kris to the side.
“Do you have any idea what triggered the flashback?”
“No,” Kris replied. “but I sure as hell am going to find out.”
--*--
Kris found Goliath in Allison’s room. He had a bloody cloth on the side of his head. Allison was insisting he needed stitches.
“Goliath, what happened?”
“I’m not entirely sure. I was waiting outside the room for him and heard the phone ring. I think he said you weren’t in and could he take a message. Then there was this crash and Adam was yelling ‘no, no, no, no, no….’ I knocked on his door, asked if everything was okay and he starts screaming at me to get away, to leave him alone.”
“How did you get hit?”
“I used my pass key. I went in, couldn’t see him. Something came crashing down on my head and the next thing I remember, the girls are dragging me out and all hell broke loose.”
“Was it his cell? The hotel phone?”
“The hotel phone.”
Kris picked up the hotel phone beside him and dialed the operator. He asked them to trace the last call to his room. Moments later, he got an answer he didn’t want - it was the police.
Travers answered. He explained his associate had placed the call but obviously called the room number instead of Kris’ private number - they were both listed on the contact sheet. This associate didn’t realize Adam was the voice on the other end as he delivered the earth shattering news.
It went down just as Travers had warned. The judge was lenient and set them free with a warning. They each paid a fine and were told to stay away from Adam - that was that. They were walking the streets, probably celebrating their triumph, and Adam was left to deal.
tbc
Author: cunningdeb
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: adam/kris
Summary: Set between the Idol finale and the start of the summer tour. Adam gets too much attention from a few of his “adoring” fans
Disclaimer: I do not own the people involved. This story does not depict the majority of Adam’s fans - idea brought on by stalker incident in Tampa.
Warnings: language, angst, violence, anxiety issues. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE TRIGGERS. I don’t know if it’s classified as non-con but Adam didn’t want the kind of attention he was given - recalled in conversation, remembrances.
Part One - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/2135.html#cutid1
Part Two - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/2471.html#cutid1
Part Three - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/2575.html#cutid1
Part Four - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/3170.html#cutid1
Part Five - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/3170.html#cutid1
Part Six - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/3453.html#cutid1
Part Seven - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/3610.html#cutid1
Part Eight - http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/904034.html#cutid1
Part Nine - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/4139.html#cutid1
Part Ten - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/4489.html#cutid1
Part Eleven - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/4732.html#cutid1
Part Twelve - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/5018.html#cutid1
Deb’s notes: Okay be ready to hate me. Another gut wrenching chapter and cliffhanger. I found this very difficult to write. Please, please take my warnings seriously, especially regarding triggers. This is the angstiest angst I’ve written to date and I hope no one is turned off. As the saying goes, things can only get better from here on.
PART THIRTEEN
The double doors opened on chaos. Outside their room, Goliath was leaning against the wall, hand on his head, Allison tending to him. Voices reached him like a sonic boom -
Lil: “Adam, baby, calm down, calm down.”
Adam: “GO AWAY! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”
Megan: “Put that down…Adam, sweetie…please put that down!”
Adam: “GET OUT! DON’T COME NEAR ME!”
Crash. Screaming.
The boys bolted past Kris, sprinting to the room.
Male voice: “Adam, you have to stop this. Don’t make us use force.”
Kris recognized the voice; it belonged to another member of their security team. The staff elevator at the other end of the hall opened and the hotel manager emerged, followed by more security.
“What’s going on here?” The hotel manager was furious, his security surrounding the door. “I’m calling the police.”
“No! Don’t!”
Kris snapped out of his haze and was in the thrall within seconds. “Please, don’t. Let me handle this.”
He gave his cell to Goliath.
“Call Dr. Keeling - tell her what’s happening - ask her to come now.”
Goliath still looked dazed but nodded.
“I’ll help him - you help Adam,” Allison pleaded, her face tear stained.
The rest of the boys had entered the room and the doorway was so crowded, Kris couldn’t get through or see over it.
Lil: “Everything’s going to be okay baby, we’re hear to help you.”
Adam: “NO, YOU WANT TO HURT ME! GO AWAY….please!”
Kris heard Adam’s voice crack, pleading like a child. He tried to push through but the wall of bodies might as well have been made of granite.
“Adam! Adam! I’m here, I’m here,” Kris yelled unnoticed. Everyone was yelling, trying different approaches to get through to Adam.
Adam’s screaming reached a fevered pitch. “STAY AWAY! NNNOOOOOO!”
“What’s happening! ADAMMMMMM!!!!”
Using strength he never knew he possessed, Kris fought his way through, not caring if anyone got hurt in the process. The only thoughts racing in his head were ‘I must get to Adam! I must get to Adam!’.
Finally, he burst through the other end and stopped dead. His heart jumped into his throat, choking him as he watched the action playing out before him.
Somehow, and for a reason unknown to Kris, two security guards had gotten hold of Adam. The room was nearly destroyed - much worse than when Adam had been hiding out. Each man had Adam by an arm, holding on with a vice grip. His arms pulled back, Adam was bent over, tugging, struggling, roaring, a proud lion in a hunter’s snare.
The harder he fought them, the harder they held on. Adam’s face was down, his black hair a wild mess and dripping in sweat.
“LET ME GO! I DON’T WANT THIS! DON’T TOUCH ME!”
Adam peered up through his bangs, spying Kris. Adam’s makeup was all over his red face, zombie like eyes seeing Kris but not seeing him.
“Kris, run, get away, get away, they’ll take you too….RUN, PLEASE, RUN!”
“Stop it, let him go!”
“We can’t. He’s going to hurt somebody or himself.”
“No! You’re hurting him, stop! Please!”
The struggles continued a few minutes more, than Adam’s legs gave out from under him and he sank like a brick onto the carpet. His captors eased his descent, letting go. Adam curled into himself, rocking back and forth, his forceful screams reduced to heartbreaking whimpers.
Kris fell to his knees before him. He placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder and Adam scurried away on all fours into the corner of the room, turning his face to the wall, back to the staring crowd, arms over his head. One hand scratched the wall.
“Go away,” he pleaded softly, “I gave you autographs, I gave you pictures, I gave you my heart, why are you hurting me?”
Kris turned to the crowd behind him. Every face was drenched in tears, some held on to each other. The fog slowly parted. He replayed Adam’s words in his mind - ‘leave me alone’, ‘don’t come near me’, ‘let me go’, ‘I don’t want this’, ‘don’t touch me’,
‘I gave you autographs…pictures…my heart…why…are…you…hurting…me’.
A flashback - Adam was trapped in a horrific flashback of the attack. Kris looked again at the crowd - men and women, male and female - just like the gang that surrounded him in that abandoned store. Adam was hallucinating, reliving that day.
Kris stood, placing himself between Adam and the well meaning group. Adam’s whimpering echoed in the now silent room.
“Everyone leave. If you really want to help Adam, leave us alone.”
“But Kris,” one of the security guys uttered, “are you sure. He’s been so violent. He might hurt you.”
Megan spoke up, speaking for their friends. “Adam would never hurt Kris. He’s lost, we can see that. Kris knows what he’s doing.”
Everyone filtered out, closing the door behind them. Kris turned to Adam. Like hell he knew what he was doing. If he knew what the fuck he was doing, he would have insisted Adam get professional help earlier instead of trying to be the supportive buddy and not pressure him. This episode was partially his fault.
Kris went to his knees once more but didn’t invade Adam’s space.
“Adam, they’re gone, it’s just you and me.”
Adam jerkily moved his head, unblinking eyes scanning the room and falling in the end on Kris.
“You okay, they hurt you too?” Adam whispered as if ‘they’ would hear him.
“I’m fine. Nobody hurt me. You’re fine too.”
Adam’s head shook violently, one word tripping over the other. “No, no, they hurt me, they want things from me, I said no, they laughed, didn’t listen, touched me, took from me, everywhere, they’re everywhere, never going away.”
Kris ventured closer. Adam seemed to accept his presence. “They ARE gone Adam, they can never hurt you again. Remember, we made sure of that?”
“NO!”
A worried head popped through the door. Kris turned and waved them away. The door closed.
Adam pointed at the door, his finger stabbing the air. “See, see, always here, everywhere, in the shadows, in my head, always in my head, out there in my world, sucking away my air, never going to stop, never going to stop, you tried, I tried, others tried, never going to happen.”
Kris moved closer til he could reach his friend, his love. Slowly, Kris placed his hands on Adam’s shoulders, Adam flinched.
“It’s okay baby, I’m the one touching you, only me. Come to me Adam, hold on tight.”
Adam withdrew out of his huddle and fell into Kris’ arms. His head on Kris’s chest, he was swallowed in love, in Kris’ strong, safe arms. Kris rested his cheek on Adam’s head, whispering calming words of love. Adam’s breath ragged, he didn’t cry, didn’t speak, just disappeared into his own sorrow.
The door to their room opened once more and a man and woman entered. It was Dr. Keeling and Kris assumed the man was Dr. Evans. They ignored the mess around them and joined the couple entwined on the floor.
Dr. Keeling brushed Adam’s hair from his face. Adam didn’t notice someone else was there, he just hung on to Kris like a child clings to his mother.
“Good Lord Kris what happened?”
Kris recanted the event. “I’ve never heard of an anxiety attack like this,” he concluded.
“That’s because Adam isn’t suffering from anxiety attacks,” the man spoke up, his voice soothing.
“Kris, this is Dr. Evans.”
Kris gave him a tired smile. Adams started mumbling and Kris tightened his hold.
“I reviewed his file. It seems to me he’s suffering from PSTD - post traumatic stress disorder.”
“Isn’t that what soldier’s get when they come back from war?”
“Yes, some of them suffer from it, but so do those who have experienced traumatic events, such as a violent assault and sexual or physical abuse.”
“You can help him, can’t you?”
“Yes, Kris, we can.”
Dr. Keeling reached into her purse and pulled out a syringe and vial.
“What’s that for?” Kris’s voice was tinged with panic.
“It’s just a sedative to help him rest. He won’t last long, just long enough for his mind to calm down so we can all talk about this. Is that okay with you?”
“I guess…you’ve taken good care of him before.”
Adam didn’t feel her hands rolling up his sleeve or the pin prick of the needle. His eyes got heavy and the noise in his head faded away. A blanket of darkness covered him and he felt at peace.
Dr. Evan’s helped Kris carry Adam to the bed. Dr. Keeling checked Adam over as Dr. Evans drew Kris to the side.
“Do you have any idea what triggered the flashback?”
“No,” Kris replied. “but I sure as hell am going to find out.”
--*--
Kris found Goliath in Allison’s room. He had a bloody cloth on the side of his head. Allison was insisting he needed stitches.
“Goliath, what happened?”
“I’m not entirely sure. I was waiting outside the room for him and heard the phone ring. I think he said you weren’t in and could he take a message. Then there was this crash and Adam was yelling ‘no, no, no, no, no….’ I knocked on his door, asked if everything was okay and he starts screaming at me to get away, to leave him alone.”
“How did you get hit?”
“I used my pass key. I went in, couldn’t see him. Something came crashing down on my head and the next thing I remember, the girls are dragging me out and all hell broke loose.”
“Was it his cell? The hotel phone?”
“The hotel phone.”
Kris picked up the hotel phone beside him and dialed the operator. He asked them to trace the last call to his room. Moments later, he got an answer he didn’t want - it was the police.
Travers answered. He explained his associate had placed the call but obviously called the room number instead of Kris’ private number - they were both listed on the contact sheet. This associate didn’t realize Adam was the voice on the other end as he delivered the earth shattering news.
It went down just as Travers had warned. The judge was lenient and set them free with a warning. They each paid a fine and were told to stay away from Adam - that was that. They were walking the streets, probably celebrating their triumph, and Adam was left to deal.
tbc