Tainted -- Chapter 17
Allison watched, unnoticed by Adam and Larissa, as Larissa gave him what appeared to be a very intimate goodbye. She frowned, troubled by the way Adam was looking at Larissa - the wide-eyed panic in his gaze, the shiver that passed through him as she spoke softly into his ear. She couldn’t quite put her finger on why, but a niggling voice whispered over and over in Allison’s mind.
Something’s not right. No, something is very wrong here…
She had already tried talking to Adam and knew his resolve when she saw it. Allison knew there was no way that Adam would tell her what was going on; yet she was fairly certain after witnessing the strange exchange between him and Larissa, and seeing Larissa in the hall outside his room a couple of nights earlier, that it had something to do with her.
Maybe that’s why he won’t talk to Kris.
Oh… Kris. He can help me…
Allison waited until Larissa had said goodbye to her boyfriend and gone back up to her hotel room to finish packing and wait for her own flight before making her way toward Kris, reaching him just as he was about to board the boys’ bus.
“Kris.” She caught his arm, tugging him back down off the step and around to face her. “Can I talk to you?”
Kris glanced at the driver headed toward the bus and then back at Allison with an apologetic half-smile. “If you can make it quick. I think they’re about ready to go…”
“Can you ride with us for a little while? It’s really important.”
Kris frowned, troubled by her tone and the look in her eyes, before nodding slowly. “Sure, Allie, that’s no problem. Give me just a second.”
Allison went to her own bus as Kris gathered a few personal belongings from the boys’ bus. He frowned, noticing that the curtain was closed around Adam’s bunk. Once again, he resisted his own desire to try to talk to Adam, and instead made his way to the front of the bus to speak to the handlers. A few minutes later, he joined Allison on the girls’ bus. Lil and Megan, who were playing a game of cards at the small dining table near the center of the bus, smiled and nodded at Kris as he followed Allison to the back of the bus where they could have a little privacy.
“Okay… this is… really awkward, but… I’ve been noticing some stuff lately… about Adam, and… I think maybe I’ve got an idea why he’s acting so weird with you,” she confessed in a rush, her expression strangely guilty and uncertain.
Kris was quiet, waiting with a questioning expression for her to go on.
Allison described what she’d seen of the conversation outside the bus, and then explained how she’d seen Larissa in the hall just a few minutes before she’d found Adam in tears in his room. As she explained her observations to Kris, Allison began to feel a little silly, realizing that it was really very little to go on - especially for the guy who was dating Larissa, and therefore a lot less likely to see any wrongdoing of which she might be guilty.
To Allison’s relief, Kris seemed worried and upset with Larissa, frowning and lowering his face into his hand, letting out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what to do with her,” he muttered, shaking his head before looking up to meet Allison’s eyes. “I’m sure she doesn’t mean any harm, but she’s just like… useless in situations like this.” His frustration was evident in his tone. “She said something really stupid back at the hospital - really freakin’ insensitive - and if I know her, I think she was probably trying to set it right.” Kris rolled his eyes, giving Allison a troubled look. “It sounds like all she did was freak Adam out worse, though.”
Allison hesitated. Her gut was telling her that it was something a lot more than that; but she was afraid to tell Kris so, for fear of offending him and causing him to shut her out. She drew in a deep breath, pausing before finally venturing a last leading question.
“Do you think… maybe whatever she’s saying to Adam has something to do with why he won’t talk to you?”
Kris’s frown deepened, his head tilting slightly as he considered that possibility. “I don’t know. Like what?”
“I… don’t know.” Allison shrugged, looking away, doing her best to be non-committal. “I just thought… maybe… it seems like a little bit of a coincidence, don’t you think?”
Kris thought a moment longer before his frown eased and he shook his head in relief. “No, because he was refusing to talk to me at the hospital before she ever said a word to him. It was like… one minute he was fine, let me hug him, very clearly wanted me there… and the next time I saw him, he completely shut me out. And Rissa was with me the whole time, so… no, that can’t be it.”
Allison was quiet, not wanting to press the issue and risk alienating her only ally - but her fears were not eased by Kris’s seemingly logical explanation.
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I can’t do this… I can’t do this…
Adam stood backstage, struggling just to breathe through the panic that was swiftly overtaking him. His heart raced, his palms wet and trembling as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his head against the railing behind him, closing his eyes and listening to the screams of the crowd. They were screaming for Danny, who was performing directly before him - but Adam heard his name a few times in the midst of the tumult, knew that the crowd was eager for him to go onstage.
But… he’s out there… in that crowd… watching.
A cold, sick shiver ran through Adam and he choked back a sob, his breathing ragged and uneven as wide, dread-filled eyes rolled toward the stage. He thought of his performance the night before - how he’d thrown everything he had into it, how he’d shimmied and swayed and felt the confidence rush back with the thrill of knowing how much the audience loved him… how badly they wanted him…
Now, the thought made him want to vomit.
He was watching… when I was dancing, and… he was sitting out there… watching… the man who… who raped me…
“Five minutes, Adam,” one of the handlers approached him, touching his arm. Adam flinched violently away from her, and her eyes widened with alarm. “You okay? What’s going on?”
“I-I’m fine,” he whispered, his eyes drawn once more to the stairs leading up to the rear of the stage. “I’m okay.”
“Like hell you are,” the handler muttered, moving in closer, eyes narrowed in scrutiny. “Adam, you’re on in like… three minutes. What the hell?”
As she spoke, Allison made her way toward them, ready to go on again when it was time for her duet with Adam. When she saw the look on his face and the hushed, intent way in which the handler was speaking, she hurried her pace, a concerned frown replacing her calm expression.
“Adam, what is it?” she anxiously asked him, automatically reaching out to touch his arm. “Are you okay?”
“Yes!” he snapped, his voice trembling as he jerked away from her, his hands raised in instinctive self-defense against the two of them. “God, would you two just stop touching me? I’m fine!” He glanced toward the stage again, his voice faltering as he repeated desperately, “I’m… fine… I am…”
“Oh shit,” the handler muttered, turning away, slapping her palm to her forehead after glancing at her watch. “Two minutes, guys…”
“What’s going on?”
Kris approached the intense little scene, his guitar in hand, ready for his own set. When he saw how pale Adam was, how violently he was trembling, his back pressed against the railing behind him as if he could somehow press through it and hide away - the resolve Kris had felt to leave Adam to deal with the situation on his own terms disappeared. He hurried to Adam’s side, setting his guitar down and pushing gently past Allison and the handler to take Adam’s arms in his hands, his dark eyes seeking Adam’s gaze intently.
“Adam?” His voice was soft, carefully calm. “Adam, what is it? Talk to me.”
Adam just shook his head, cringing away from Kris, but not quite pulling away. “I can’t,” he whispered simply. “I can’t, I can’t…”
“Adam… Adam, look at me…” Kris whispered, raising a hand to rest at the back of Adam’s head and pull him down a little, his forehead nearly touching Adam’s as he waited until Adam reluctantly met his gaze. “Adam… you’re okay. All right? You’re safe. You’re okay. You hear me?”
Adam nodded, closing his eyes in despair, clearly not believing what he heard.
“No, listen to me, Adam, you can do this,” Kris insisted softly. “Listen to me. You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna go out there and give them the show of your life.”
Adam’s eyes snapped open, and he looked up at Kris abruptly in horror. He glanced toward the stage again, scanning what he could see of the crowd with wide, fearful eyes, before pulling away from Kris’s touch, his wild gaze darting back and forth between his friend and the stage.
“Stop,” he whispered breathlessly, his words all coming out in a panicked rush. “Stop, get away, if he sees you…” His eyes widened as he looked at Kris, momentarily realizing what he’d said, but his panic drew his gaze back toward the stage an instant later, more focused on a more immediate threat than having let his secret slip to Kris.
Not that Kris had a clue what that secret might be.
Kris frowned, an uneasy feeling beginning in the pit of his stomach. “If who sees me?” he asked urgently. “Adam… if who sees?”
But Adam didn’t answer. He straightened his shoulders, biting his lower lip, his brow furrowed in concentration as with an effort he steadied his breathing. He swallowed hard, nodding once as if confirming something to himself, already focused on the stairs he was supposed to climb, as the lights in the auditorium went down and his intro began to play.
“Adam…”
Kris tried to get his attention, reaching out to touch his arm, but Adam pulled away from him without looking at him.
“Gotta give them what they want,” he whispered, shaking his head, seemingly unaware that he was even speaking the words aloud at all. “Gotta keep up the show… no matter what.”
Kris watched in dismay and bewilderment as Adam made his way on trembling legs up onto the stage. Allison stepped up to stand beside him as the first terrified and now relieved handler hurried off somewhere in search of another problem to deal with. When Kris felt Allison’s hand on his arm, he turned to look at her in troubled concern.
“What was he talking about?” he asked, shaking his head. “If who sees… what?”
Allison just shook her head, at a loss, staring at the stage where Adam was launching into the words of “Whole Lotta Love”. If his voice trembled a little where it usually didn’t, or if his dance lacked a bit of the swagger he usually carried, the lights and the music would surely serve to mask it to the eyes and ears of the screaming, adoring crowd. Allison frowned as she looked out at the crowd, however, Adam’s words sending a sinister chill of apprehension down her spine.
“He was fine last night,” Kris observed, shrugging helplessly. “I don’t get it. What’s going on with him?”
Allison didn’t answer, though she found confirmation for her half-formed fears in Kris’s words.
He was fine last night… before Larissa talked to him at the buses today…
What is he hiding from us? Something that she knows about? Why would she know about it, when he won’t even tell Kris? And who’s the ‘he’ that Adam’s worried about seeing him with Kris? Does Larissa have something to do with that?
Allison was almost certain that she did. There were simply too many coincidences to exist without some explanation to connect them. Her thoughts darkened with protective anger as she remembered Adam’s expression as Larissa had talked to him earlier that day - an expression eerily, heartbreakingly similar to the panic on his face only moments before.
So… what did she do to put it there?
What did she say to him?
TBC...