Possession -- Part 2
Kris watched Danny closely the next day, looking for any signs of lingering anger toward Adam; but he seemed to have forgotten the incident completely. Danny acted completely normal with both Kris and Adam, both in public and in private, laughing and joking and behaving as if his fury of the night before was nothing more than a distant memory. With each hour that passed without incident, or any trace of resentment on Danny’s part, Kris felt himself begin to relax a little bit, hoping that the tension had passed.
But even if it has… it’s probably a good idea to have Danny skip his turn this time around… just to be safe…
Kris knew that of the entire group, Danny was the one with the most vindictive nature. They all knew that his turn with Adam was only a couple of nights away. Kris wouldn’t put it past him to pretend that he was no longer angry just long enough to get his hands on Adam, so that he could take out his anger on him in private, without Kris there to intervene.
According to the rules of their arrangement, Adam had to go to whomever Kris ordered him to, and do whatever they asked of him. However, he did have recourse if one of the other Idols ever tried to take advantage of his position, or demanded of him something he was utterly unwilling to give.
Adam had the option to refuse the advances of anyone, as long as he immediately went to Kris afterwards, explained his objections, and asked Kris to make a decision on the matter. So far, he had never had occasion to object, beyond a couple of times when he’d gone to Kris beforehand and told him that he was too tired or not feeling well; and if those times happened to have both taken place on Danny’s night, well - Kris chose to believe that it was nothing more than coincidence.
It was an unspoken understanding among them all that, whenever this sort of thing occurred, Kris was almost certain to make the decision in favor of Adam’s wishes.
In fact, Kris had considered taking Danny off the list entirely, although Adam had never asked him directly to do so; but Kris had his reasons to be hesitant about such a drastic measure. After all, Danny had a sneaky, mean streak to him, and out of the entire group, Kris thought him the most likely to expose their secret arrangement to the public if he was given a reason to do so. Of course, that would mean exposing his own participation in it as well; but Kris knew that he could easily claim that the others were simply trying to get back at him for exposing them, and Danny’s loyal fan base would almost certainly believe him.
No, since Danny had been involved in the situation from the beginning, it was best to avoid pushing him out of it, if at all possible, for the good of everyone involved.
But, after last night… if Adam doesn’t feel safe with him…
Although Adam had yet to voice any objection to Danny’s taking his turn as usual, as the days passed leading up to it - first Michael’s turn, then Anoop’s the next night - Kris could tell that he was anxious about it. It was clear in the way he shied away any time Danny accidentally happened too near to him, or the way he would sometimes just stare in the direction of the other man, his brow furrowed with worry, biting the side of his lower lip in a gesture that made him look childlike and vulnerable - a gesture Kris had come to know well, as he had come to know Adam.
Kris had come to enjoy the power his position gave him over his lover, the authority Adam had willingly relinquished to him; and at this point, he was unwilling to give it up. Still, he recognized that with that power came the obligation to protect Adam from any harm - to make sure that he was safe and happy, and never placed in a position to be vulnerable to abuse or violation.
And he hasn’t even said a word… he’s being so submissive, so good about all of this… but I know he doesn’t want to go with Danny tomorrow night…
By the time they checked into the hotel rooms where they would stay that night, and the following, Kris had already made his decision.
Danny would skip his turn this time around. If he didn’t like it, well - Kris really didn’t care.
What mattered most was that Adam felt safe.
By the next time his turn comes around, Danny should have forgotten all about what happened the other night, and it should be totally safe…
Kris made his way down the hall to Adam’s room to tell him his decision. As usual Adam had asked for two keys and then immediately given one of them to Kris, so Kris did not bother to knock, but simply let himself in. Adam was sitting on the edge of his bed, tense and tapping one foot anxiously, clearly waiting for Kris to arrive.
As Kris entered the room, Adam immediately rose to his feet, his trembling hands clenched into pale fists at his sides. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it in hesitation, then finally ventured in a tone of quiet defiance.
“I won’t be with Danny tomorrow night.”
Kris froze, struck - and not at all pleased - by Adam’s demeanor. He considered for a moment, deciding to give Adam the opportunity to back down, to place his trust in Kris’s judgment. He chose to deliberately misinterpret Adam’s words, leaving him the option of pretending that they had been a poorly worded request rather than a demand. Still, his tone was clipped, edged with warning, when he finally moved again, calmly crossing the room toward Adam.
“Not if I don’t think it’s safe.”
“No, you… you don’t understand,” Adam protested, his gaze faltering for a moment under the sharp look Kris gave him, but then returning to meet Kris’s eyes, his jaw set with stubborn determination. “No matter what you think - whether or not it’s safe - I won’t do it. Period.”
Frustration and anger warred with understanding and sympathy in Kris’s heart, which sank under the weight of what he knew he had to do next. Adam was supposed to trust him, supposed to know that he would always make the best choice for him, and protect him. Kris had not planned to subject him to Danny, despite his belief that it was totally safe to do so. He had intended to spare Adam Danny’s turn, simply because of his probably unfounded fears.
But such sheer defiance could not be tolerated.
Adam had left him no choice.
Kris swiftly closed the rest of the distance between them, lashing out and striking Adam hard across the face. Adam stumbled back a bit, the backs of his knees hitting the mattress so that he sat down hard on the side of it. His hands rose, trembling, into a half-pleading, half-defensive gesture in front of him as Kris’s hand whipped out to grasp his hair, jerking his head back and forcing him into a submissive position. Kris’s voice was smooth and hard, velvet over steel, as he spoke in a low, measured tone.
“You will do as you are told.”
Adam’s breath quickened with alarm, his eyes closed, a convulsive swallow visible in his throat. His knuckles were white, his hands still clenched into fists against the mattress as he struggled to maintain some semblance of control. He hesitated a moment before softly replying.
“Not this time. Not if you tell me to do this.”
Kris hesitated, torn. He didn’t want to force Adam into something he didn’t want to do; and yet, he didn’t want to relinquish his authority in the situation, either. He knew that this could only work if Adam was willing to trust him implicitly - to submit to him totally. He sat down on the bed beside Adam, easing his grip on his hair to a caress, tugging his head gently down so that their foreheads rested against each other.
“If you don’t trust me… don’t submit,” he whispered, “then this is useless, Adam. This whole thing. Worthless. But… I can’t force you to trust me if you don’t.” Kris abruptly released Adam, sitting up straight and meeting his questioning, uncertain gaze with unyielding challenge in his own as he spoke in a normal tone again. “So… fine.” He shrugged, the gesture far more careless than his feelings. “Do as you please.” He stood and started toward the door, turning back to add pointedly, “From now on.”
Without another word, he walked out of Adam’s room and headed back toward his own.
He was unsurprised to hear Adam’s door open again a moment later, or to hear the rushing footsteps that followed him down the hall; but he didn’t break his stride, didn’t turn to face his nearly frantic lover.
“Kris! Kris, wait!”
Kris didn’t.
“Kris, stop, wait a minute, talk to me!”
Adam was clearly desperate to stop him, but reluctant to do so physically, easily keeping up with him as he made his way down the hall but not quite daring to touch him. Finally, just outside Kris’s door, Adam grabbed his arm, turning him around to face him. Even as he did so, he flinched slightly, as if expecting to be punished for using such force. Ordinarily, Kris would have at the very least pulled away from him and given him a stern reprimand.
But Kris didn’t pull away, didn’t touch him - just passively allowed him to turn him around, a calm, expectant expression on his face - and that was so much worse.
And Kris knew it was worse.
It meant that Kris had given up on their arrangement - given up on Adam.
Almost frantically, Adam leaned in to push Kris back against his door, kissing him desperately, searchingly, as if trying to find and hold onto something that was swiftly slipping out of his reach. Kris allowed the kiss, yielding to it but not really participating, until Adam finally drew back, breathless and gasping, worried eyes searching Kris’s face for some sort of sign.
Kris gave him nothing but a solemn, sympathetic look, reaching out to take his hand and turn it over so that it was palm up in his own. Adam looked down, staring in dumb horror as Kris pressed the extra key to Adam’s room into his hand, then released it and turned his back. He took out his own key and unlocked his door, before looking once more at Adam and speaking in a cool, detached tone.
“Good night, Adam.”
Kris shut the door firmly behind him - shutting Adam out - and then fairly collapsed against it, gasping for breath, his hands covering his face as he fought off what felt like the beginnings of a panic attack. He slid down against the door, bracing his back against it and pulling his knees up against his chest, folding his arms over them and burying his face as he struggled for control. One frantic, fearful thought coursed through his mind over and over again.
I can’t lose him… God, I can’t lose him! Please…
***********************************
Kris woke up the next morning feeling nauseated and uneasy. His hands trembled as he got dressed and brushed his teeth, ignoring his hair completely. He made a cup of coffee in the tiny coffee-maker supplied by the hotel, but didn’t touch it. He was too sick with worry and loss to eat or drink anything.
Finally, he decided that this was simply not worth it.
Yes, he enjoyed their relationship as it was, and he knew that Adam got something that he needed as well out of his total surrender to Kris; but if Adam was no longer willing to do things the way they always had, well - that would have to be okay.
Kris would rather have Adam in any way than to not have him at all.
He returned to the bathroom mirror and ran a hand nervously through his hair, mentally rehearsing his apology, before finally opening the door to venture out into the hall. He froze, his breath catching in his throat, eyes going wide.
Adam stood there, hand poised to knock - looking every bit as startled as Kris felt.
Adam bit his lip anxiously before slipping past Kris into the room and closing the door. He met Kris’s eyes for just a moment before bowing his head, sliding gracefully to his knees.
“I’m sorry.”
The words Kris had been poised to say fell easily from Adam’s lips, and Kris’s heart leapt up into his throat, tears of relief and affection springing to his eyes. Adam’s voice was trembling, broken - utterly vulnerable.
“I’ll do whatever you say. You’re right. I… I should trust your judgment. I’ll… I’ll go to Danny’s room tonight. I’ll do anything you want. Please, Kris… I’m sorry…”
Kris crouched in front of him, reaching out a tender hand to cup Adam’s cheek, his heart breaking a little when Adam leaned his face into the touch, closing his eyes, visibly relishing the affection. Kris rubbed his thumb gently under Adam’s eye, trailing his hand up to run soothingly through his hair.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’s okay, Adam. I forgive you.” He paused, continuing in a tone of gentle reproof. “You just have to trust me. I promise, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
Adam nodded, his voice barely over a whisper. “I know.”
“Danny’s not going to hurt you. I swear to you, you’re going to be perfectly safe.” Kris assured him. “Okay? Do you trust me?”
Adam swallowed hard, but nodded again, the single word he spoke barely audible, betraying his lingering apprehension.
“Y-yes.”
Kris hesitated a moment, considering backing down and letting Adam have his way as he had originally intended when leaving his room that morning - but then decided against it. Adam had given in instead, and Kris needed to hold his ground - to re-establish his dominance in their relationship. If he gave in now, it would only reinforce in Adam’s mind that his defiance had gained him his way.
“You’re going to go to Danny’s room tonight, just like every other time - and you’re going to be just fine. I promise.” Kris’s tone was reassuring but firm. “All right?”
Adam nodded again, silent.
“Do you trust me?” Kris asked once more, his voice hushed and thick with emotion.
Adam raised his head slowly to meet Kris’s eyes, and the depth of devotion and trust Kris saw there stole his breath, even before Adam spoke in a brave, intent tone that made Kris’s heart soar with love for him.
“Yes, Kris. Yes… I trust you."
TBC...