Tainted -- Chapter 11
Dr. Peter Brighton expected several different things from Leila Lambert when he told her the full truth of what he knew about what Adam had gone through: tears, cursing, denial - total emotional breakdown.
What he didn’t expect was the calm, steady composure with which she regarded him as he sat down behind his desk, across from her. Her gaze was level and piercing, searching out the answers to her questions in his eyes as she spoke in a quiet, even voice.
“What happened to my son, Dr. Brighton?”
He suddenly felt very self-conscious, a little uncomfortable under the power of her scrutiny. He swallowed hard, looking away for a moment before meeting her gaze and taking a deep breath.
“You know that Adam was… very severely beaten. He has three cracked ribs, extensive bruising, as well as various… cuts, and… first and second degree burns. He was…” He hesitated over the next word.
Leila didn’t. “Tortured,” she stated, her voice cold though her eyes were smoldering with protective rage. “My son was tortured, Dr. Brighton. I’m aware of that.” She paused before adding, a little softer, “I also know there’s more to what happened than that. Adam couldn’t tell me, but… I know. I just need you to… to confirm what I already know. To say the words out loud.”
Dr. Brighton hesitated, bracing himself for the explosion of pain he knew would follow his words. Despite how difficult it would be for her to hear, he knew that Leila Lambert deserved to hear the truth. His voice was low and apologetic as he slowly stated the answer he wished he didn’t have to give her.
“Mrs. Lambert, Adam was... Adam was raped.”
He was quiet, watching with concern for her reaction, but Leila barely flinched, her jaw set with determination and strength as she waited for him to go on.
“From what I could tell during my examination,” the doctor continued cautiously, his eyes never leaving hers, “more than once. There was… extensive physical damage, which we had to surgically repair. He’s in a lot of pain, and… naturally, deeply traumatized. He’s going to need… therapy, counseling, possibly medication…”
Leila nodded slowly, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I knew. He didn’t tell me, but… I knew.” She paused, her tone pensive when she went on. “He wouldn’t let his own brother touch him when we got here.”
“He tried to cover it up, but he was terrified when I came into his room,” Dr. Brighton confirmed with a grim nod of his own. “It was almost as if he… he thought I was one of his attackers.” He hesitated before observing quietly. “I think it’s very likely that he never actually saw the faces of the kidnappers - perhaps they kept him blindfolded - so that he might have actually have believed that to be the case - especially considering that he seemed to calm down when I spoke to him.”
The hard edge returned to Leila’s eyes at the reminder of the brutality and degradation that had been inflicted upon her son. When she spoke, again, it was in a cool, restrained tone that was almost a little frightening, “Has he told you anything at all about… about the men who did this to him? Any details at all about what happened?” She shook her head, a note of despair in her words as she confessed, “I can’t get him to talk to me. He needs to… to get this out, if only for his own… his own healing… but also, so we can find the monsters who did this and make sure that they pay for it.”
“No, I’m sorry,” Dr. Brighton replied, shaking his head apologetically. “He hasn’t told anyone anything about the entire ordeal, I’m afraid. I can’t be sure without his opening up about it a little, but it seems to me that Adam is probably keeping silent out of a fear of retaliation. They probably… threatened him - told him not to tell anyone, or go to the police, or…or they’d hurt someone he loves, or come after him again. It’s really… terribly common in these cases.”
Leila was quiet for a moment, taking in those words, and Dr. Brighton wondered - not for the first time in the course of this conversation - whether or not he’d perhaps said too much. When she finally replied, her voice was calm and controlled, almost frighteningly soft, but carrying a certainty that left no doubt in his mind as to how deeply she meant her words.
“If those animals try to touch Adam again, there’ll be no need to go to the police.” She rose to her feet, picking up her handbag and putting it over her shoulder, meeting the doctor’s eyes again as she stated calmly, “In fact, they’d better hope the police find them before I do.”
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It took every ounce of strength Kris possessed to respect Adam’s wishes and turn and walk away when he asked him to.
He knew there was something Adam was keeping from him, some reason why he was pushing him away, though he couldn’t begin to guess at what it might be. Adam hadn’t pulled away from Kris when he’d reached out to touch him; in fact, Kris knew he had not imagined the desperation and longing in Adam’s eyes in that moment. For just an instant, Kris had felt relief, reassured that Adam wanted his friendship and support just as badly as Kris wanted to give it to him.
And then, Adam had pulled away - and the illusion had shattered into shards of painful reality.
Adam had asked him - no, begged him - to leave.
And the broken tears that had filled his eyes as he’d done it had broken Kris’s heart as well. All he wanted was to support his best friend through what was probably the worst ordeal of his entire life; and Adam wouldn’t let him near, wouldn’t let him in - wouldn’t let him so much as touch him for more than a few seconds.
But why? He’s not mad at me. He said he doesn’t blame me for what happened. So why doesn’t he want me near him? I just don’t understand…
“No! Surely they didn’t… no…”
The sound of Danny’s shocked, outraged voice drew Kris’s attention, and he looked up as he reached the waiting area where Adam’s family and colleagues had been camping out since he’d been admitted. During the few brief minutes he’d spent in Adam’s room, Michael, Matt, and Danny had shown up and joined Larissa, who was seated in a secluded corner of the room. As Kris approached, he heard Michael add his own protest to whatever had just been said.
“No, that’s not… that’s… no. No, that can’t be it.”
Kris frowned, troubled by the tremor of horror in Michael’s voice. Larissa looked up when she saw him coming, and Danny and Michael both looked away, a little guiltily, as if embarrassed to be caught discussing whatever it was they were discussing. Matt was just staring at Larissa, eyes wide with dismay and disbelief.
“Hey, baby,” Larissa began, her tone uneasy as she rose to give him a quick peck on the cheek and a reassuring hug. “How is he?”
“Fine,” Kris replied automatically, not really thinking about the question or his answer, glancing warily between the faces of the little group before allowing his gaze to settle on the last to speak - Michael. “What can’t be it? Can’t be what? What are you guys talking about?”
Put on the spot, Michael looked desperately around at the others, but found none of them willing to come to his aid. He cleared his throat, looking downward for a moment before venturing reluctantly to answer Kris’s question. His obvious unease began a sick quiver in the pit of Kris’s stomach, as he wondered what could be so horrible that it would provoke such a reaction among his friends.
It was far worse than he could have imagined.
“We just… well, Larissa was just saying… she thinks… maybe Adam was…” Michael’s voice trailed off, and he shook his head. “I can’t…”
“What?” Kris snapped, his voice trembling as he took a step nearer to Michael and the others, shrugging out of Larissa’s hand on his arm before giving her a wary, accusing look. “Maybe Adam was what? What are you saying?”
“Raped.”
Kris flinched as if from a blow, turning wide, stunned eyes on Danny, who had spoken up when no one else seemed willing to answer Kris’s demanding questions. He swallowed hard, holding Kris’s gaze, his own somber and troubled as he clarified unnecessarily.
“She said she thinks that Adam was… probably raped.”
Kris shook his head slowly in horrified denial, before looking toward Larissa in disbelief.
“He was wherever they had him for three days, Kris,” Larissa hurriedly spoke up, an unmistakably defensive note to her voice. “They didn’t want money; they didn’t make any demands or do anything to draw media attention toward themselves. What do you think they wanted with him?”
“No!” Kris fairly exploded, jerking away when Larissa moved toward him “No, there’s no way! That did not happen!”
“I was talking to Neil earlier,” Matt finally spoke up, his voice soft and stricken, as if he was barely processing his own words as he spoke them. “He said… he said Adam wouldn’t even let him hug him when they went in his room.”
“And… he doesn’t want you to get close, either, does he? Hasn’t let any of the other guys in to see him at all,” Larissa pointed out, her tone gentle and sympathetic, her eyes troubled and earnest as she cautiously reached out to touch Kris’s arm. “Baby, I’m not trying to be gross or insensitive or whatever… I’m just saying… he’s so traumatized, Kris. He’s scared of everyone, and so secretive and… and I just think… if we think about it, we all already know what must have happened.”
Kris was silent, struggling to process the evidence Larissa had just presented for her suggestion, while his mind rebelled violently against the very idea. He couldn’t even fathom the idea of Adam - strong, bold, confident Adam - being so utterly degraded and victimized. The sick feeling in the pit of his stomach intensified, and he swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat. His voice was hushed, barely over a whisper, as he finally responded to his girlfriend’s words.
“You… you really think that’s what happened.”
Larissa nodded sadly, meeting his eyes with sorrow and sympathy as she moved in close to him, placing her hands on his arm in a supportive gesture. “I do.”
“Then…” Kris stared at her for a long moment, studying her expression before abruptly pulling away, taking a step backward and shaking his head. “… you disgust me.”
“Kris… what?” Larissa gasped in bewildered dismay. “Why would you…?”
“So… you come up with this… twisted, sick idea of what happened to him… and you really think that’s what he’s dealing with… that’s why he’s being secretive and keeping everything to himself,” Kris began, his voice carefully controlled, barely betraying the slowly smoldering rage building beneath his words. “And your response to that is to tell everyone you know?”
“Kris… no, I didn’t…”
“No, just all the guys he has to be around every day. Just all the people he’s been trying to hide it from.” Kris’s lips twisted into a grimace as he slowly shook his head in disgusted disbelief. “Are you trying to humiliate him?”
“No!” Larissa insisted, her voice trembling with fear and confusion. “Kris… I just thought… if that’s what happened, then we should know what we’re dealing with…”
“No, we should know whatever Adam decides that we should know!” Kris countered, raising his voice enough that several strangers in the waiting room directed their attention toward the tense little group gathered in the corner. “If he wants to keep whatever happened to him a secret, then that’s his choice!”
Kris stepped past a nearly frantic Larissa to face Matt, Danny, and Michael, meeting each of their eyes in turn in an intent, warning gaze as he pointed a finger toward them and declared in a tone of inarguable authority, “This stops right here. Until Adam says it happened, it didn’t happen. All right? The last thing Adam needs is for this crap to get back to him - or anyone else. Understood?”
The guys all nodded their acceptance, quiet and subdued, unwilling to further anger Kris when he was already in a far more volatile state than any of them had ever seen him. Having secured their agreement, Kris turned on his heel to leave the room. Larissa caught his arm, trying to pull him back.
“Kris, wait a second!” she cried, desperate.
“Don’t touch me.” Kris jerked away from her, giving her a resentful glare. He hesitated a moment, shaking his head before he added a bewildered question to which he didn’t really expect an answer. “How dare you? How dare you do this to him?”
He left her standing there behind him, having no response. He stalked down the hall toward the nearest restroom, where he locked himself into the nearest stall and immediately collapsed over the toilet, heaving up the remnants of his last meal, while trying to shut out the painful, horrifying thoughts that filled his mind.
What if she’s right? Oh, God, what if she’s right?
TBC...