Fic: Overdue
Title: Overdue
Author: morganlight
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: PG. Dialogue fic. Much speculation and cheesy pop psychology.
Notes: Welcome to the second part [of three or four?] of the fanfic that ATE MY GODDAMNED LIFE. I seriously couldn't go a single day at work without tweaking the hell out of this thing. Bits of dialogue came to me in my sleep. And it's still not done. This is only the second part of So Much To Say, which is turning into a series of 'Charles Browder shares his wisdom and slaps some sense into Kris Allen' stories. It has also become my bit of 'Kradam therapy'. I seriously can't deal with these guys being apart; it's pathetic.
Overdue
You are my guiding lightning strike
I can’t find the words to say
but they’re overdue
--Muse, ‘I Belong To You’
“I chickened out.”
“You what?”
Kris let his head fall against the headboard of the hotel bed. “On that last night. I told myself to stop procrastinating and attack this head-on, like you said. I was so ready. I went to his room right after the show - told everyone I would meet them at the after-party - and I had all these brilliant things to say, and then…”
“… then?”
“I forgot every single one of them.”
Kris could hear Charles shaking his head, even on the other end of a wireless line. “This is why you should never plan ahead, Kris. Don’t think. Just do.”
“I couldn’t just waltz in there and embarrass myself.”
“Why not?”
“Dude. Just no.”
“Fine. So what happened, exactly?”
“Well…” Kris felt sheepish, even in the Detroit hotel room with Manchester miles away. “I went to his room. His hotel room.”
“We’ve established that. Carry on.”
“He was just getting out of the shower, and his hair was all wet and messy, so I felt like I was intruding-”
“Kris, I can almost guarantee he was happy to see you. Be real.”
“But he really looked surprised. Said he thought I was with Katy, that he wasn’t expecting me. And I said that I wasn’t expecting me, either, but there was something I needed to figure out.”
“Okay. So far so good. What went wrong?”
“I don’t know, he has these ridiculous eyeballs, right? You’ve seen them - they’re like fluorescent blueberries or something. And with him looking at me, while I was facing those eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything rash or risk anything or-”
“I think that has less to do with his eyes and more to do with his effect on you, honestly.”
“Well either way, I ended up saying, ‘I want to make sure we won’t lose touch after the tour. Promise me you’ll call, or text, at least. Promise you won’t disappear.’
“And he said, ‘I promise.’
“Then we just stared at each other for what felt like five years. I couldn’t say what I wanted to say, because I’d in effect already said it, several times over - I just hadn’t done anything about it. And I was getting up the courage to change that. Or I thought I was.”
“Chronic procrastinator. You haven’t changed.”
“Then Adam said, ‘I think there’s still silly string in your hair.’ He giggled, and he ran a finger through it. Through my hair. And it was nice. But he pulled back after just a second, like-like I had a fever he couldn’t afford to catch. He’d been doing that all night - checking himself. I couldn’t figure out why.
“So I said, ‘We’ll talk in Detroit,’ and I left. And that was it. We didn’t even hug. I mean, we saw each other later, but it was… weird. Distant.”
“Think he sensed your nervousness? That kind of thing is pretty palpable, especially to people so sensitive.”
“I wasn’t nervous, exactly. Just trying to convince myself... ”
“Well, what I meant was that he probably knew something had changed. In your attitude. You said he had been careful around you all night, right? When did you decide to ‘attack the thing head-on’, as you put it?”
“That last day, I guess. A last chance. Totally your fault, by the way.”
“Right. Ignore the part about it taking two weeks. Talk about overdue. But still- there you have it. You feel new things, you finally decided to make a move, you changed your behavior, and he changed his, in response. Makes sense to me.”
“Charles, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you had a degree in psychology.”
“How do you know I don’t?”
“Yeah right.”
“Well. Call me after Detroit, in any case. You guys still doing the duet?”
“Yeah, we are. And I will.”
“Don’t embarrass yourself.”
“You wish.”
Kris felt a little bit like a kid at college calling his parents, but if he ever someone to reassure him and tell him what the fuck was going on, it was right now.
Author: morganlight
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: PG. Dialogue fic. Much speculation and cheesy pop psychology.
Notes: Welcome to the second part [of three or four?] of the fanfic that ATE MY GODDAMNED LIFE. I seriously couldn't go a single day at work without tweaking the hell out of this thing. Bits of dialogue came to me in my sleep. And it's still not done. This is only the second part of So Much To Say, which is turning into a series of 'Charles Browder shares his wisdom and slaps some sense into Kris Allen' stories. It has also become my bit of 'Kradam therapy'. I seriously can't deal with these guys being apart; it's pathetic.
Overdue
You are my guiding lightning strike
I can’t find the words to say
but they’re overdue
--Muse, ‘I Belong To You’
“I chickened out.”
“You what?”
Kris let his head fall against the headboard of the hotel bed. “On that last night. I told myself to stop procrastinating and attack this head-on, like you said. I was so ready. I went to his room right after the show - told everyone I would meet them at the after-party - and I had all these brilliant things to say, and then…”
“… then?”
“I forgot every single one of them.”
Kris could hear Charles shaking his head, even on the other end of a wireless line. “This is why you should never plan ahead, Kris. Don’t think. Just do.”
“I couldn’t just waltz in there and embarrass myself.”
“Why not?”
“Dude. Just no.”
“Fine. So what happened, exactly?”
“Well…” Kris felt sheepish, even in the Detroit hotel room with Manchester miles away. “I went to his room. His hotel room.”
“We’ve established that. Carry on.”
“He was just getting out of the shower, and his hair was all wet and messy, so I felt like I was intruding-”
“Kris, I can almost guarantee he was happy to see you. Be real.”
“But he really looked surprised. Said he thought I was with Katy, that he wasn’t expecting me. And I said that I wasn’t expecting me, either, but there was something I needed to figure out.”
“Okay. So far so good. What went wrong?”
“I don’t know, he has these ridiculous eyeballs, right? You’ve seen them - they’re like fluorescent blueberries or something. And with him looking at me, while I was facing those eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything rash or risk anything or-”
“I think that has less to do with his eyes and more to do with his effect on you, honestly.”
“Well either way, I ended up saying, ‘I want to make sure we won’t lose touch after the tour. Promise me you’ll call, or text, at least. Promise you won’t disappear.’
“And he said, ‘I promise.’
“Then we just stared at each other for what felt like five years. I couldn’t say what I wanted to say, because I’d in effect already said it, several times over - I just hadn’t done anything about it. And I was getting up the courage to change that. Or I thought I was.”
“Chronic procrastinator. You haven’t changed.”
“Then Adam said, ‘I think there’s still silly string in your hair.’ He giggled, and he ran a finger through it. Through my hair. And it was nice. But he pulled back after just a second, like-like I had a fever he couldn’t afford to catch. He’d been doing that all night - checking himself. I couldn’t figure out why.
“So I said, ‘We’ll talk in Detroit,’ and I left. And that was it. We didn’t even hug. I mean, we saw each other later, but it was… weird. Distant.”
“Think he sensed your nervousness? That kind of thing is pretty palpable, especially to people so sensitive.”
“I wasn’t nervous, exactly. Just trying to convince myself... ”
“Well, what I meant was that he probably knew something had changed. In your attitude. You said he had been careful around you all night, right? When did you decide to ‘attack the thing head-on’, as you put it?”
“That last day, I guess. A last chance. Totally your fault, by the way.”
“Right. Ignore the part about it taking two weeks. Talk about overdue. But still- there you have it. You feel new things, you finally decided to make a move, you changed your behavior, and he changed his, in response. Makes sense to me.”
“Charles, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you had a degree in psychology.”
“How do you know I don’t?”
“Yeah right.”
“Well. Call me after Detroit, in any case. You guys still doing the duet?”
“Yeah, we are. And I will.”
“Don’t embarrass yourself.”
“You wish.”
Kris felt a little bit like a kid at college calling his parents, but if he ever someone to reassure him and tell him what the fuck was going on, it was right now.