Good Enough After All
American Idol 8 RPF: Good Enough After All
Rating: NC 17(overall)
Summary: Kris thinks he isn't good enough for anyone in his life- most of all, Adam.
Beta: Many thanks to the wonderful laurahellomoto
Warnings: Angst, plenty of angst. Mentions of major character suicidal thinking/attempts(don't worry nobody dies). Mentions of Adommy(but no in story scenes of anything above friendship there).
Author's notes: I am breaking a hard and steadfast rule by writing Kradam.This is my first RPF ever, for any fandom. I had said I'd never do it, but too many stories were floating around in my head for me to resist. Be gentle, but honest. Feedback rocks.
Disclaimer: I do not know these people, and this was just done for fun. No offense intended, and no profit. If you got here by googling youself or someone you know, for the love of every deity I don't believe in leave now.
Good Enough After All
Chapter 1/?
Kris Allen was nervous. He stood looking out at the gorgeous view of the Los Angeles skyline from his 15th floor penthouse suite as the last traces of the sun slowly sank away. The manila envelope Kris was clutching was already a bit worn and dog- eared, as he had looked at its contents at least twenty- five times since its arrival the day before yesterday. The envelope was his gift to the love of his life, one Adam Lambert. It was the only way to prove to Adam that they could truly be together once and for all, that they could stop sneaking around and lying to their management and to the press and to their families. Divorce papers. Everything that was left of his eight year relationship with Katy was right there in that envelope. IT felt strange to have what used to be the most important part of his life reduced to official documents stuffed into an envelope. Kris knew that it had been the right thing to do, that Katy had been right to throw him out and tell him that their marriage was over, that she knew about him and Adam and that she knew she couldn’t win, that his heart didn’t belong to her anymore. Maybe it never had. He knew that he should feel relieved that she had ended it so that he wouldn’t have to. He should feel free. But all he felt like was a failure.
Finally the knock he had been waiting for came. He turned from the sliding glass door where he had been looking at the skyline and hurried to the door. That would be Adam. He could tell him the news, and they could move on. Tomorrow they could talk to their management at 19E and prepare press releases- get all the technical parts of this mess over with so that they could just be together. The wheels turning in Kris’s head came to an abrupt stop when he opened the door. There stood Adam, beautiful as ever, in impossibly tight skinny jeans, a Queen T- shirt, and plain black boots. His hair was soft and product free, just the way Kris liked it, and he was wearing just the tiniest hint of eyeliner. Kris stared, as he always did when he looked at Adam after not seeing him for awhile, rendered speechless by his beauty.
But suddenly Kris realized something as he stood aside automatically to let Adam into the suite. Adam had not come to see Kris alone. Standing off to the side, still in the hallway, obviously unsure of his welcome, was Tommy Joe Ratliff. Tommy was Adam’s impossibly perfect bassist, all delicate bones and gorgeous, messy, bleach blonde hair. He was also the one Adam had run to on the lonely nights when Kris had to go home to his wife. Kris stood frozen for a second, looking from Adam to Tommy. He then turned and walked back into the suite, motioning wordlessly for Tommy to enter.
“Kris…” Adam finally spoke, walking over to where Kris had resumed his earlier post, staring out of the sliding glass balcony door at the LA night, still clutching the manila envelope containing his divorce papers. Adam wrapped his arms around Kris, mumbling endearments, but Kris just stood there stiffly, not returning the gesture, waiting for an explanation for Tommy’s presence. Finally Kris pushed Adam away.
“What the fuck Adam?” he spat angrily. ”We don’t see each other for three months, and you bring him along? You’re with him every day and every damn night, and you couldn’t leave him home just this once?”