You're Guaranteed to Run This Town 16/?
Title: You’re Guaranteed To Run This Town 16/?
Rating: R
Summary: Adam has the problem that he dates all the wrong guys, and it seems that it’s going to happen all over again when he meets Kris - a young punk who’s really just a softie under all the leather and false confidence.
Warnings: Gallons of cussing, self-worth issues?
Notes: Late again. :/ I think the schedule for this is change to seven or ten days instead of five during this holiday season, there's too much crazy going on to get to write all this down in time. Sowwy. :(
“Your hair’s starting to get kind of long.” Adam muttered as he brushed a hand through it. He flinched as Adam’s fingers made some of the strands start tickling at his ears. “Maybe you should get it cut.”
Maybe… but… He grimaced and wiggled until Adam’s hand fell back into his lap. It’s a part of my mask… I’m not myself with this and I don’t want to show him what’s under all of this. He brushed some of the longer strands behind his ear and paused. But maybe I should trim up the sides again…
It was a pretty quiet night in the apartment, and after spending a few weeks with Adam now, he could say that Adam was a great help with everything, and so patient with him and everything but… There was something missing. He frowned and glanced over to Adam, who had given up on the hair and had one hand resting on Kris’ thigh, the other scribbling away in a notebook. We haven’t done anything yet… I… What if he doesn’t want me…?
“Kris?” He focused back in on Adam and saw blue eyes looking over him curiously. “You okay? You look a little…” He looked over Kris for a moment before he frowned. “Sad…” He set the notebook aside and turned so he was fully facing Kris. “What’s wrong?”
He fixed on a smile automatically and shrugged. “’m fine.”
Adam shook his head. “No you’re not.” He shifted closer on the couch, his hand squeezing on his thigh. “Come on, what’s wrong, Kris? You know you can tell me.”
But… He bit into his lip and flinched, looking away. What if… what if he gets mad or something? Or… fuck, what if after I say something he starts to realize that’s actually how he feels and-Fuck! I need to stop doing this. Now. Get with the program, Kristopher. “I, um…” He brought a hand up behind his neck, trying to look anywhere but at Adam. Just… spit it out. “I… I don’t feel like… like you want me.” Oh, perfect. Now I sound like a teenage girl. Great.
Adam though, just leaned into him, smiling against his neck. He tilted his head away, his lips brushing against his jaw. “I… so want you…” He opened his mouth enough to scrape his teeth against his jaw line, making Kris shudder all over. “It’s scary… how much I want you…”
Then… what about… mmm… He gasped, licking his lips as Adam’s mouth moved over his skin, sliding up over his lips and biting into his fleshy bottom lip. Fuck…
Adam sucked on his lip for a bit longer, before he nipped on it and pulled away, grinning. “But, we need to be sure we’re ready for that.”
I am fucking ready. He licked his lips again and shifted on the couch, shaking his head. “I… I want… But…” Remember, you need to be ready for this. First legitimate relationship in a really long time you do not want to fuck this up, Kristopher. “Maybe… not right now… but…” He took a breath and ducked his head down. “I just… I was worried that… about it… I… I don’t…”
He trailed off when Adam’s hand closed around his and looked up into soft blue eyes that he felt like he was drowning in. Adam’s freckled coral lips curled and he shook his head. “You really don’t have to worry about that. Trust me.”
Is he just saying that or… He looked over Adam for a few moments, before locking back with those huge, genuine eyes. Yeah. He smiled and leaned into Adam. “Good.” He does want me… at least a little bit. That’s good enough.
The rest of the week Adam spent reminding Kris of just how wanted he was; lips brushing over skin, lustful glances from across the room followed almost immediately by those freckle fingertips skirting along the skin peeking above his jeans. It was… maddening, and made Kris want more and more but he… he had to wait for it. He wanted Adam but… there was still something there, some wall stopping him from just going for it, for dragging Adam back into the bedroom and…
Fuck… this isn’t going to stop… Maybe… He felt his hands tighten around the box he was carrying and growled into the bags of coffee grounds. He wasn’t going to fucking cheat, no matter how long it took. He was not some whore who couldn’t go without sex for a while.
Oh really? You sure about the whore part? If I remember correctly, a few years ago you were the definition of a whore. You’ve probably fucked through the entire city. Who knows, you could’ve been the whore that Hayden slept with before-
He dropped the box onto the floor and stopped, his jaw clenched tightly and his hands tight around the door frame. He squeezed his eyes shut, yelling at the mocking voice again and again to shut up, shutupshutup.
“Kris?” He loosened his hands around the door and turned to see Tommy, looking over him worriedly. “You alright?”
He gave what he hoped was a solid smile - it felt wobbly and wrong - and shrugged. “Just tired.” He stretched out for a moment before he moved the box into place with his foot. “I think I’ll call up early today.”
Tommy looked over him for a bit before he nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll go call Adam.”
No! “Wait, I’ll…” He chewed on his lip for a bit before he looked up at Tommy again. “I… I kind of… wanted to talk to Aiden.”
Tommy looked panicked for a moment before his expression turned thoughtful. “I still don’t feel good about you walking alone on those streets, but you could have Ad come get you here, and find Aiden, and the two of you can talk at his place, right? Or Aiden can come to ours.”
That works. “Ours.” He shrugged. “I miss home anyway.” Tommy smiled and nodded before walking out with his cell phone. Kris let out a breath and leaned back against the wall, staring down at the floor as that voice from before starting creeping in through the cracks again. That wall of his that had been cracking bit by bit ever since he’d met Adam that night a month ago. What’s wrong with me…?
You know what’s wrong with you. Freak. Dirty, broken little boy. It’s only a matter of time before he sees what you are. You should just save yourself the pain and end it, there’s already so much pain.
He grimaced and shook his head, he knew Adam wouldn’t hurt him, he knew it. Adam didn’t… he didn’t think the things that he thought of himself. Adam didn’t think he was broken… did he?
“Adam’s on his way.” He looked up to see Tommy peering back into the room, still looking a little worried.
“Alright. Thanks, Tommy.” He smiled and waited until Tommy was out of view until he dropped his head back against the wall, flinching. Having to remind himself that Adam wouldn’t hurt him, Adam didn’t think he was damaged or anything. Adam was worth all the little cracks in his armor… and he wouldn’t give Kris a reason to build it up again…
“Thanks for this Adam.” He smiled over at him, watching those blue eyes looking over him with a bit of worry. “I’ll call you tomorrow, alright?”
“Yeah.” He smiled half-heartedly and looked back at Aiden as he was getting out of the backseat. “Keep an eye on him, okay?”
Aiden turned around and ducked into the car to smirk at Adam. “Of course. I’m like little Krissy’s knight in armor.” He saluted. “He is safe with me.”
Adam nodded, looked back to Kris and gave him a kiss before he started driving away. Kris sighed and he heard Aiden huff. “So, please tell me this is not about him.” When Kris gave him no answer and a meaningless glare he rolled his eyes. “You are completely ridiculous. The guy cares for you, and he loves you, I already know that.”
“You met him five minutes ago.” Kris mumbled as he started walking into the apartment.
Aiden smirked. “And that, my friend, is really all I need to know that. It is that obvious.” He hesitated when Kris didn’t respond, didn’t even glare at him or anything. His lips fell and he stopped Kris, turning the small brunette to look at him. “Hey, come on. We all knew this would be hard, but you can’t chicken out part way through. You want to be happy Kris, and if he’s what makes you happy - which I can see he does - then you need to keep with this, stay with your happiness. There will be bumps but, you’ll be happy and safe and more loved than you’ve ever known in no time.” He grinned. “You’ll practically be begging for all the joy to give you a break, I promise.”
Kris smiled softly up at his friend before he shook his head and ducked under his arm, shivering. Aiden laughed lightly and patted Kris on the back. “Now let’s go inside get nice and warm and talk about all of this over a nice cup of some of Alli’s hot cocoa.”
“Yeah.” This is for my happiness, and Adam’s happy, too… He felt his lips tug down slightly. But… do I… do I deserve that? No… I don’t… but I still want it. Maybe... being a little selfish isn't so bad, as long as I'm not the only one reaping the benefits. He smiled to himself and walked into the apartment, only feeling a little bit sad about not being able to sleep next to Adam that night. If everything went right in the future, he could be next to Adam every night to make up for it.
Rating: R
Summary: Adam has the problem that he dates all the wrong guys, and it seems that it’s going to happen all over again when he meets Kris - a young punk who’s really just a softie under all the leather and false confidence.
Warnings: Gallons of cussing, self-worth issues?
Notes: Late again. :/ I think the schedule for this is change to seven or ten days instead of five during this holiday season, there's too much crazy going on to get to write all this down in time. Sowwy. :(
“Your hair’s starting to get kind of long.” Adam muttered as he brushed a hand through it. He flinched as Adam’s fingers made some of the strands start tickling at his ears. “Maybe you should get it cut.”
Maybe… but… He grimaced and wiggled until Adam’s hand fell back into his lap. It’s a part of my mask… I’m not myself with this and I don’t want to show him what’s under all of this. He brushed some of the longer strands behind his ear and paused. But maybe I should trim up the sides again…
It was a pretty quiet night in the apartment, and after spending a few weeks with Adam now, he could say that Adam was a great help with everything, and so patient with him and everything but… There was something missing. He frowned and glanced over to Adam, who had given up on the hair and had one hand resting on Kris’ thigh, the other scribbling away in a notebook. We haven’t done anything yet… I… What if he doesn’t want me…?
“Kris?” He focused back in on Adam and saw blue eyes looking over him curiously. “You okay? You look a little…” He looked over Kris for a moment before he frowned. “Sad…” He set the notebook aside and turned so he was fully facing Kris. “What’s wrong?”
He fixed on a smile automatically and shrugged. “’m fine.”
Adam shook his head. “No you’re not.” He shifted closer on the couch, his hand squeezing on his thigh. “Come on, what’s wrong, Kris? You know you can tell me.”
But… He bit into his lip and flinched, looking away. What if… what if he gets mad or something? Or… fuck, what if after I say something he starts to realize that’s actually how he feels and-Fuck! I need to stop doing this. Now. Get with the program, Kristopher. “I, um…” He brought a hand up behind his neck, trying to look anywhere but at Adam. Just… spit it out. “I… I don’t feel like… like you want me.” Oh, perfect. Now I sound like a teenage girl. Great.
Adam though, just leaned into him, smiling against his neck. He tilted his head away, his lips brushing against his jaw. “I… so want you…” He opened his mouth enough to scrape his teeth against his jaw line, making Kris shudder all over. “It’s scary… how much I want you…”
Then… what about… mmm… He gasped, licking his lips as Adam’s mouth moved over his skin, sliding up over his lips and biting into his fleshy bottom lip. Fuck…
Adam sucked on his lip for a bit longer, before he nipped on it and pulled away, grinning. “But, we need to be sure we’re ready for that.”
I am fucking ready. He licked his lips again and shifted on the couch, shaking his head. “I… I want… But…” Remember, you need to be ready for this. First legitimate relationship in a really long time you do not want to fuck this up, Kristopher. “Maybe… not right now… but…” He took a breath and ducked his head down. “I just… I was worried that… about it… I… I don’t…”
He trailed off when Adam’s hand closed around his and looked up into soft blue eyes that he felt like he was drowning in. Adam’s freckled coral lips curled and he shook his head. “You really don’t have to worry about that. Trust me.”
Is he just saying that or… He looked over Adam for a few moments, before locking back with those huge, genuine eyes. Yeah. He smiled and leaned into Adam. “Good.” He does want me… at least a little bit. That’s good enough.
The rest of the week Adam spent reminding Kris of just how wanted he was; lips brushing over skin, lustful glances from across the room followed almost immediately by those freckle fingertips skirting along the skin peeking above his jeans. It was… maddening, and made Kris want more and more but he… he had to wait for it. He wanted Adam but… there was still something there, some wall stopping him from just going for it, for dragging Adam back into the bedroom and…
Fuck… this isn’t going to stop… Maybe… He felt his hands tighten around the box he was carrying and growled into the bags of coffee grounds. He wasn’t going to fucking cheat, no matter how long it took. He was not some whore who couldn’t go without sex for a while.
Oh really? You sure about the whore part? If I remember correctly, a few years ago you were the definition of a whore. You’ve probably fucked through the entire city. Who knows, you could’ve been the whore that Hayden slept with before-
He dropped the box onto the floor and stopped, his jaw clenched tightly and his hands tight around the door frame. He squeezed his eyes shut, yelling at the mocking voice again and again to shut up, shutupshutup.
“Kris?” He loosened his hands around the door and turned to see Tommy, looking over him worriedly. “You alright?”
He gave what he hoped was a solid smile - it felt wobbly and wrong - and shrugged. “Just tired.” He stretched out for a moment before he moved the box into place with his foot. “I think I’ll call up early today.”
Tommy looked over him for a bit before he nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll go call Adam.”
No! “Wait, I’ll…” He chewed on his lip for a bit before he looked up at Tommy again. “I… I kind of… wanted to talk to Aiden.”
Tommy looked panicked for a moment before his expression turned thoughtful. “I still don’t feel good about you walking alone on those streets, but you could have Ad come get you here, and find Aiden, and the two of you can talk at his place, right? Or Aiden can come to ours.”
That works. “Ours.” He shrugged. “I miss home anyway.” Tommy smiled and nodded before walking out with his cell phone. Kris let out a breath and leaned back against the wall, staring down at the floor as that voice from before starting creeping in through the cracks again. That wall of his that had been cracking bit by bit ever since he’d met Adam that night a month ago. What’s wrong with me…?
You know what’s wrong with you. Freak. Dirty, broken little boy. It’s only a matter of time before he sees what you are. You should just save yourself the pain and end it, there’s already so much pain.
He grimaced and shook his head, he knew Adam wouldn’t hurt him, he knew it. Adam didn’t… he didn’t think the things that he thought of himself. Adam didn’t think he was broken… did he?
“Adam’s on his way.” He looked up to see Tommy peering back into the room, still looking a little worried.
“Alright. Thanks, Tommy.” He smiled and waited until Tommy was out of view until he dropped his head back against the wall, flinching. Having to remind himself that Adam wouldn’t hurt him, Adam didn’t think he was damaged or anything. Adam was worth all the little cracks in his armor… and he wouldn’t give Kris a reason to build it up again…
“Thanks for this Adam.” He smiled over at him, watching those blue eyes looking over him with a bit of worry. “I’ll call you tomorrow, alright?”
“Yeah.” He smiled half-heartedly and looked back at Aiden as he was getting out of the backseat. “Keep an eye on him, okay?”
Aiden turned around and ducked into the car to smirk at Adam. “Of course. I’m like little Krissy’s knight in armor.” He saluted. “He is safe with me.”
Adam nodded, looked back to Kris and gave him a kiss before he started driving away. Kris sighed and he heard Aiden huff. “So, please tell me this is not about him.” When Kris gave him no answer and a meaningless glare he rolled his eyes. “You are completely ridiculous. The guy cares for you, and he loves you, I already know that.”
“You met him five minutes ago.” Kris mumbled as he started walking into the apartment.
Aiden smirked. “And that, my friend, is really all I need to know that. It is that obvious.” He hesitated when Kris didn’t respond, didn’t even glare at him or anything. His lips fell and he stopped Kris, turning the small brunette to look at him. “Hey, come on. We all knew this would be hard, but you can’t chicken out part way through. You want to be happy Kris, and if he’s what makes you happy - which I can see he does - then you need to keep with this, stay with your happiness. There will be bumps but, you’ll be happy and safe and more loved than you’ve ever known in no time.” He grinned. “You’ll practically be begging for all the joy to give you a break, I promise.”
Kris smiled softly up at his friend before he shook his head and ducked under his arm, shivering. Aiden laughed lightly and patted Kris on the back. “Now let’s go inside get nice and warm and talk about all of this over a nice cup of some of Alli’s hot cocoa.”
“Yeah.” This is for my happiness, and Adam’s happy, too… He felt his lips tug down slightly. But… do I… do I deserve that? No… I don’t… but I still want it. Maybe... being a little selfish isn't so bad, as long as I'm not the only one reaping the benefits. He smiled to himself and walked into the apartment, only feeling a little bit sad about not being able to sleep next to Adam that night. If everything went right in the future, he could be next to Adam every night to make up for it.