Author:
kpopforlifeWord Count: 2727
Rating: PG-13 (overall NC-17)
Pairing/Focus: Jongyu
Genre: omega!verse
Warnings: Omega!verse, knotting, dom!jinki
Summary: As soon as Jinki stepped off of the elevator he knew something was off. There was a tension, a faint whiff of something different, something foreign that laced the stagnant air with the most delicious aroma he had ever encountered. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was amiss. His senses were heightened, body reacting on its own accord, alpha pheromones immediately stirring, but for what he wasn’t quite sure.
lethallycute beta<3
Prev Minho peaked into Jinki’s room to see the elder sitting like a stoic statue on the bed, his face completely emotionless; a deceptively calm mask.
“Hyung, I- I brought you some tea,” he said lamely. Realizing now how stupidly simple his gesture probably seemed in light of everything that had happened. Minho was just really bad in these kinds of situations. How was he supposed to comfort Jinki when the elder continued to try and hide how badly he was hurting? How was he supposed to make Jinki feel better when he had absolutely no idea how deep the cuts to his soul truly went?
“I yelled at him,” Jinki breathed, his voice expressionless and void, as if all his emotions had bleed out onto the floor, leaving only a human shell in its wake.
Minho set the orange polka dot mug down on Jinki’s bedside table; he had picked Jinki’s favorite in hopes of cheering him up on whatever meaningless level it could, but Minho realized now how completely idiotic that was. As if a measly piece of pottery could fix the brokenness inside of Jinki. Minho settled for sitting awkwardly next to the older boy, thinking that maybe his presence would help to give the older boy some moral support.
“I yelled at him,” Jinki repeated quietly, obviously as surprised by his own actions as the rest of them were.
“It’s okay hyung,” Minho cooed gently.
“I- I was so rough with him and- and I was really going to hurt Taemin. It- it took everything in me not to just… put his head through that wall. I’ve never been so angry, so absolutely out of control-livid in my life,” Jinki’s muttered, his words sounding detached from any and all emotions.
“Hyung…”
“And then he touched my arm and once again my whole world shifted perspective. Just because he didn’t want me to hurt Taemin meant I literally couldn’t have if I wanted to anymore. Do you have any idea how confusing that is? How infuriating it is to feel all these intense emotions all the time and have no control, no power over your own mind? It’s like I can feel it in my bones now; I just need Jonghyun and this will all stop. I’m a hormonal little girl because the only person I need in life won’t even look at me. He’s the only reason I get up in the morning; the only thing that keeps me going and… he has no idea. He’s my everything and all he sees me as is a burden that’s has fallen into his lap,” Jinki looked up for the first time, his eyes meeting Minho’s as he let a few of those walls down.
“Hyung he doesn’t really understand. Sure he has read about it, but he will never fully understand what it means to be bonded. He will never truly understand unless you tell him; show him. I know that right now he’s making that difficult but I’m sure you guys will work it out. You two have been best friends since debut. That’s gotta stand for something. I’m not happy about the way Jonghyun is acting right now and trust me, if I didn’t think you would rip my head off I would give him a much deserved punch to that stupid nose of his, maybe it would wake him up a bit...”
Jinki actually cracked a small smile at his words, “Of course you can’t punch him. I like his stupid nose too much.”
“I know hyung so I will refrain but… I wish you would be more honest about how you are feeling. You don’t have to hide all the time. I get wanting to keep it from Jonghyun, but when it’s just us, you don’t have to play the strong leader role anymore. Lean on me for once. Us alphas gotta stick together, right?” Minho said gently.
Jinki gave him a watery smile in response, looping an arm around the younger boys small waist and resting his forehead against Minho’s shoulder. “I just- I can’t believe he would do something like that. He really doesn’t care about me at all does he?” Jinki’s words were raw with emotion, laden with a sadness Minho couldn’t even being to comprehend.
Minho’s arms tightened around the elder in response, knowing that words will never be enough to console the brokenness in Jinki right now.
“What am I supposed to do?” Jinki whispered; the tears starting to well up in his eyes once again as his mask finally shattered completely, his fists balling into Minho’s shirt.
“I don’t know hyung,” Minho said honestly, “I really don’t know.”
It felt like Minho sat there for an eternity, his arms full of a broken shell of a man; trying to be the rock his hyung needed and knowing it would never be enough.
~~~
They found themselves in yet another dorm-wide tension over the next week. Kibum came back from Daegu to hear about the falling out that had happened and logically sided with Jonghyun. Taemin, however, was determined to stay neutral, referring to himself as ‘Switzerland’ any time an argument arose. With Taemin’s willful lack of participation, this made them evenly divided now.
An effective cold war had taken over their small living space. Jinki had decided to take Minho’s advice and simply stopped pretending like he was fine, going as far as to avoid any and all interaction with the rest of the members. The majority of his free time was spent locked away in his room, his eyes constantly puffy from crying and lack of sleep. The manager had let it slip to Minho that Jinki was now taking some anti-depressants- company’s orders- and apparently the drugs made him restless, bordering on insomnia. Minho kept it quiet from the others, knowing that Jinki wouldn’t want them to know how bad it really was; he was still the leader after all but it only made Minho worry even more. It was heartbreaking to watch Jinki drag himself through their schedules, the layers of makeup getting thicker and thicker with each passing day as his smile became more and more of a distant memory. Minho tried to provide as much moral support as he was able but they all knew it wasn’t something he or anyone else could fix. Well, anyone but Jonghyun that is.
~~~
The days turned into weeks and nothing changed. It was quickly becoming exhausting for all of them. The tension was always high and it was causing unnecessary stress to all of them.
Their typically busy schedules helped serve as a distraction but the continuous need to fake friendly relations was tiring and only made things that much more strained once they all got home.
Their endless battle of wills finally came to a close when Key went into heat once again. This was routine procedure by now; Jinki and Minho would spend the night with their hyungs and the betas would stay home and deal with Key. However, Jinki had been quite serious in his stance that Jonghyun would no longer be participating in such activities. While he might have avoided all interaction with Jonghyun for the last few weeks, that in no way lessened his resolve. He was having a hard enough time as it was; he wasn’t about to back down now. He made this clear by refusing to leave the dorm without Jonghyun.
“Hyung just go with him, my god!” Taemin yelled at Jonghyun, his face red with anger at the two having a stand off in the living room.
“No! Being the leader doesn’t give him this indiscriminate power. I’m not leaving,” Jonghyun fired back, his hands clinched into fists making his veins press harshly against his skin.
“Then neither am I,” Jinki responded simply, crossing his arms across his chest with an air of finality.
“You can’t stay. Kibum is in heat,” Jonghyun responded lamely, annoyance lacing his words as they continued to talk in circles.
“That’s alright, I’m already bonded. His heat really won’t affect me too much,” Jinki responded with a sarcastic smirk, clearly enjoying the way his words were pissing off the younger. It had been weeks since they had been able to have a civil conversation, or really any conversation, so it felt good to have Jonghyun’s undivided attention, even if it was negative. Apparently this was his life now, annoying his bond-mate into talking to him. It was silly but it after so much silence he supposed he would have to take what he could get.
“Hyung you can’t,” Jonghyun said exasperatedly, “Do you have any idea what it will do to Kibum? He can’t be in the same room with an alpha all night when he is in heat! You know that!”
“Well I guess it is decided then, I will just have to leave,” Jinki agreed.
“That’s what I’ve been saying!”
“But I will only leave if you come with me,” that self-satisfied smirk was back on his face.
“Lee Jinki!”
“Hyung just fucking go!” Taemin screeched, giving Jonghyun a push towards the door. The whimpering coming from the bedroom was getting louder with each passing minute like it was simply torture for Kibum.
“Why should I have to leave? Hyung needs to go, not me!”
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“I mean no, I’m not leaving without you.”
“Why?!”
“Because being bonded actually means something to me even if it means nothing to you,” Jinki said coolly, his voice level and even as if he had rehearsed this speak a million times.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? I’ve tried to be understanding about all this, but this is too far. Don’t you care about anything but yourself and your stupid bond? You don’t own me; I’m not yours. If you cared about me, not just about being bonded to me, then maybe you would understand that. Just because your bond says you love me doesn’t mean I’m going to fall into your arms like some damsel in distress. I don’t want you, Lee Jinki. I don’t love you. I don’t even like you anymore! I don’t want someone who can’t even see me as a fucking person. I’m more than a damn bond, Jinki.”
Jinki’s face crumbled at his words; stabbing far deeper than either of them was prepared for. “As am I, Jonghyun, but I think the only person who can’t seem to see beyond the bond is you,” Jinki said quietly, the lines of hurt etched deep into his face, suddenly the dark circles from lack of sleep and the ashen tone his skin had recently taken seemed more prominent than ever before.
“Jonghyun hyung,” Taemin said quietly, his small voice cutting like a knife through the thick tension in the air, “I think it would be best if you just go.”
Jonghyun made an annoyed grunt as he spun on his heel, grabbing his jacket on his way out of the apartment; the door thudded shut with a resounding click, leaving a deafening silence in its wake.
Taemin bit his lip uncertainly, looking worriedly at the elder still sitting silently on the couch but Jinki just continued to study the carpet grains with an emotionless expression.
“Hyung?” Taemin said, approaching him carefully. He was ashamed to say he had been avoiding Jinki since the incident because he figured Jinki needed some space but also because he was a little bit frightened after what had happened. Who wouldn’t be scared of someone who tried to strangle you? The two of them used to be so close but ever since Jinki had bonded he had been drifting away from all of them, locking himself away in his own little world of pain and loneliness.
Jinki glanced up, waiting for Taemin to continue.
“I’m sorry. You know he doesn’t really mean that. Just give him some time. He cares about you more than he is willing to admit,” Taemin tried to be reassuring, wanting to put a little of the hope that Jonghyun had effectively smashed back into his hyung’s eyes.
“Thanks Minnie,” Jinki said with a sad smile, “I’ll get out of your hair, sorry,” Jinki muttered as he quickly pulled himself off the couch, throwing on his shoes and leaving Taemin to deal with Kibum.
~~~~
Jinki gripped the steering wheel tighter as he drove aimlessly, tear tracks easily removing any residual makeup from his schedules that day. He never imagined it would be so hard to be bonded. Did everyone go through this in the beginning? Was it just a beta thing? The resistance? The doubt? Jinki would have thought that the years of friendship would hold some weight in his favor but according to Jonghyun, nothing mattered now that he was bonded. Apparently to him, Jinki didn’t have any real feelings anymore. Everything was about the bond. Well, if his feelings weren’t real then why did Jinki feel like he was being strangled by emotions these days?
Jinki quickly pulled his car off the road at a slightly abandoned-looking area of the park near the Han River. It was far too late for many people to be out anyway so he didn’t worry too much about being seen. He grabbed a jacket from his back seat and dropping his phone in the cup holder before slipping out of his car. He just really needed to be alone right now.
The thrum of the city around his gave him a sense of calm. The background noise of traffic combined with the gentle lapping of the waves against the shore in front of him blended wonderfully with the bright lights reflecting off the dark, glassy water and slowly help ease his racing heart and erratic emotions.
He took a seat on the small bench by the water, pulling his knees up to his chest as he let the soothing sounds and cool night air wash away all of his stress and worries. He sat there for hours, letting every possible option roll through his brain but still coming up empty as to what he should do about Jonghyun. He wanted very much to make Jonghyun happy, but making Jonghyun happy meant Jinki was utterly miserable. It felt selfish to say that he couldn’t give into to Jonghyun’s demands, but the younger was being selfish as well. There had to be a compromise. There just had to be.
He felt just as frustrated and lost as before, but now the cold was starting to seep through his clothes to bite at his skin, so he slowly made his way back to the car.
Feeling almost ready to face the world again he glanced at his phone while turning the ignition, giving the car a minute to warm up only to find no less than 17 missed calls from Minho and a handful from Taemin. Before he had much time to question it, the device started buzzing in his hand, the ID reading: ‘Minho.’
“Hello?”
“Oh my god! Finally!”
“What’s wrong?”
“Hyung, first just- sit down or something.”
“What? What’s the matter Minho?” the faintest note of fear slowly began entering his heart at Minho’s tone. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
“It’s about Jonghyun,” Jinki’s blood ran cold at the words; nails digging into the soft leather of the steering wheel.
“W-what is it?”
“He was in a car accident. He’s okay! Don’t freak out,” Minho quickly explained.
“Where is he?” Jinki’s voice was threaded with obvious panic.
“He’s really okay hyung. He’s at the hospital but manager hyung said he might have broken his nose.”
“Where is he? Which hospital?”
“The one near the dance studio. Hyung just called a little while ago with an update.”
Jinki snapped the phone shut without another word, accidentally revving the engine as he rushed to get to his mate’s side. Jonghyun could hate him for life for all Jinki cared right now, he simply had to be there, he had to know that the younger was really okay, he had to see him, to do anything he could to make Jonghyun feel better. He had to be with his bond-mate; the man he was irrevocable in love with.
Next~~~
Well that took a hot minute didn't it? Sorry. Life you guys, it happens. But this story is still very much active even if it takes me ages and ages to finish a chapter. And ummm... I guess that's it? Thanks for reading ^^