Round 8: Pack a Bag With All Your Luggage
Title: Pack a Bag With All Your Luggage
Team: Canon
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: SS501
Pairing: Hyungjun/Jungmin
Summary: In the beginning of his solo career, Hyungjun wonders whether or not he wants to continue to be in the industry any longer than he needs to. Jungmin is the only part of his former life in a band that seems to follow him and remind him why he wants to keep at it.
Prompt Used: Ga-In- Irreversible
Hyungjun is flitting thin fingers through hair made to stand still with hairspray and gel and thin wooden sticks. He remembers once upon a time when after a long day of practice and sore throats they could all rely on someone to fall into bed with and feel the comforting heat at their side. With how things are as of late he has to go out of his way to even hear a familiar voice, whether it be to whisper that he call them back later or one to comfort him past muted tears. They were alone more or less, no matter how much they didn't want to be.
He had honestly thought that he would be suffering the most with the group's hiatus. So used to seeing four other men for the past few years and now barely being able to remember what Youngsaeng sounded like too early in the morning or Kyujong's sleep bloated face looked like, any characteristic or another about Hyunjoong. Perhaps he could try a little harder to keep in contact, like how he has with Jungmin.
But then again, Jungmin forces himself onto Hyungjun. He knows he'll get harassed for not returning a call or for not keeping contact for more than two days. 'Just because we don't see each other as often doesn't mean you have the right to pretend you're off meeting people better than I am; I doubt you even know anyone that comes near me.'
Hence why he's here playing parent to a recovering Jungmin. Too proud to ask for someone to care for him but needy enough to send a chain of messages to Hyungjun's phone informing him that his owner wasn't feeling up to par and needed his stupidity to feel better. "You know," Hyungjun begins as Jungmin changes the channel on the big screen TV mounted on his hotel room wall, "would it have been too hard to just ask that I come see you?"
The channels are flipped through so quickly that Hyungjun only collects neon green numbers changing in a corner; the pictures are all a blur as he flips past the news, cartoons, and featured movies of the day. "Would you believe that there's nothing to watch? Don't hotel rooms have at least decent porn on at a time like this?" A time like this is a few minutes past midnight, that meant the hotel should supply nothing but porn on cable in Jungmin's eyes.
They settle for some documentary on the mental health care in Asia. Without even noticing it, a half hour passes and Hyungjun is between a soft sleep and awake when he hears Jungmin say something. He asks that the other repeat.
Jungmin huffs like if he was asking to borrow an obscene amount of money a second or third time, "I said we should get ourselves checked into an institution as well."
It is odd to hear Jungmin speak with such a deflated tone, whether sick and tired or healthy and well slept. "Why?"
"Contracts are done and what do we do? We sign up for a few years more torture; you don't think that makes us insane?" Jungmin plays with the remote control in hand, fingertips ghosting past the protruding buttons as he turns the object in his hand. Hyungjun takes it out of his hand and tosses it away from both of them, hitting Jungmin's shin before it falls to the side of it. Jungmin does not retaliate and that scares Hyungjun in itself.
"I was pretty healthy coming into this; you were the one that drove us all up the wall. SS401 sounds just as successful groups don’t you think," Hyungjun jokes as he looks at the nurse on the television.
He gets a jab at his side and a familiar pain shoots up his ribcage until it reaches the smile forming at his mouth. Jungmin had been too serious for his own liking and in all honesty, he might have missed some of the physical torture Jungmin forced on him (smaller doses of it would still be best).
"We're all doing well."
"Are we? I don't remember being this physically weak when I was with you."
Hyungjun doesn't know if that 'with you' is referring to 'with you' in the group or 'with you' and only you.
"Now hurry up and change the channel before I die from boredom. The porn should be starting in a few minutes."
Hyungjun stretches to retrieve the control and starts channel surfing to appease Jungmin. He knows nothing remotely sexual will be airing except for perhaps the suggestive shows from overseas which flash a breast at most. Getting comfortable on the bed he pushes Jungmin aside and he lies on his stomach, bunched comforter serving as a pillow under his chin.
After a minute or two, he finds what might be a documentary on what could be mail order brides of prostitutes from Thailand, Hyungjun asks Jungmin if this is okay. He receives no response and turns to check on the other. Jungmin's body has turned to give him his back. When Hyungjun sits up to make sure he really is sleeping, he sees the small sleeping mask is pulled over his eyes. The medication works thankfully, as easy as Jungmin is to fall asleep, he attempts to fight sleep to revel in those few minutes he can share with the others.
He turns off the television and puts the control on the bedside table, eyes sweeping over the now dark room. If it was anyone else, he would have climbed into bed and spend the night. Jungmin still isn't one to enjoy company in bed when he was sleeping. Deciding it was better he actually slept and wasn't up all night fearing for his safety, Hyungjun gathers his things and heads out. First thing tomorrow morning, he reminds himself, he has to call to make sure Jungmin takes the other half of the medication. The automatic lock clicks behind him as he softly shuts the door behind him locking him out for the night.
--
Jungmin slides in before the swinging door closes behind the nurse. Hyungjun looks up at him after managing to fix his arm without disrupting his IV and produces a small smile. The guest assesses the situation and realizes with a puff that nothing it too out of the ordinary. Taking casual steps towards the younger man, he pushes his glasses up into his hair, "your brother never picks up his phone and neither do you. I thought you were dying."
Hyungjun laughs as Jungmin comes around his bedside and looks down at the needle penetrating the frail skin of his forearm. It is not as uncommon a sight as anyone in their industry hopes. "Have you been sleeping well," Jungmin asks as he puts his bag down at Hyungjun's feet.
The question is ignored in favor of another. "Fluff my pillows?"
He fixes his coat sash first before he does as he is asked. He looks down at Hyungjun and released a soft sigh in relief that there was no immediate danger. "Kibum said that you were dying; his message made it seem like if you were within minu-"
"Of dying of boredom. He was right about that."
The bed dips at his feet with Jungmin taking a seat. He rubs at one of his knees while looking back at the needle. He had all but broken his leg rushing out of his schedule as soon as he was done. It was one thing to get a message to come see him when he had time because he was getting an IV drip and another entirely to be informed that he was dying. As annoying as Hyungjun could be at times, he was more or less his best friend. Jungmin takes a deep breath and begins to tell the younger man of his adventure, the insane obstacles he had to overcome to see him. Pissed off managers, fangirls trying to climb into his van, enraged sponsors and the likes find their way into Jungmin's animated story, complete with a handful of mentions of how hungry he was.
There's nothing in the room that Hyungjun can offer him sadly enough. He thinks perhaps he has an energy bar in his bag but even that is too far away to grab while he is held back by the IV. Jungmin gets up on his own though, he looks through the few bags of useless things Hyungjun had had on him when he came into the hospital. "This brand is a waste of money," Jungmin comments as he holds up a Piro Piro neck pillow.
Hyungjun rolls his eyes at the comment knowing not to take it seriously. Jungmin continues to pull out a few more prototypes of his products, each item receiving criticism. Hyungjun pays him mind then, Jungmin is as critical as any consumer and any comment that could help the final product be that much better helps.
"How long are you going to be here?"
"For a night or so."
Nodding his head, Jungmin moves towards the bag with Hyungjun's other belongings. He pulls out his wallet and begins to sift through the bills inside. Hyungjun expects another comment about the money in his wallet but Jungmin simply puts the wallet aside and keeps looking through his things. Just as Hyungjun had thought, there was an energy bar within, most likely somewhat melted with the angle it was at.
"Ah, the dinner of CEOs and idols."
He returns to the bed after putting Hyungjun's belongings back into his bag. Getting comfortable atop the bed, legs pulled up under him, Jungmin begins to eat. He eats silently for a minute as Hyungjun only stares at him, brow raised in question. Jungmin is not one to be this silent unless he is sleeping or giving him the cold shoulder. It almost bothers him.
"Kyujong called me earlier this week." Jungmin's hand is up covering his mouth, all manners and politeness even when it is only Hyungjun in the room with him. "Really? I haven't talked to him in a few days. How is he?"
Hyungjun reclines as Jungmin drinks from bottled water he produced from inside his bag and starts telling him about the slow but sure process of Youngsaeng's album and the even slower creation of his. He closes his eyes and lets his head loll a bit, mind already making Jungmin's voice a lullaby as he totters between sleep and wake. If he ignores the topic, he can almost pretend it was another situation in another day in the life of a boy band member.
He has to be crazy to want to do for a few more years. The IV must be providing him the sense he didn't have before. Jungmin's voice quiets down and the familiar sound of fingertips hitting a touch screen takes over. Jungmin finally is considerate of him after all these years.
--
"Is this what it's going to be like if I comeback as a solo artist?"
Kibum stands at the entrance of his bedroom. He takes Hyungjun's ignoring him as permission to enter and comes in before his brother verbally denies him entrance. Hyungjun is looking through a few sheets of printed music from his earlier strike of muse. "What do you think of this?"
He hands over a thin stack of papers and Kibum looks over them with only half interest. His older brother has been spending what few free hours he should be dedicating to sleep and relaxation to additional work.
"It's not bad. You still haven't answered me though, what's wrong?"
Hyungjun looks away from the notes in front of him and shrugs as an answer. Kibum is both his younger brother and his junior in the industry, if anyone knows how to handle pressures and any trouble from their jobs, it is him.
"Did you help put away the groceries," Hyungjun innocently asks as he scribbles down a few names to call later on that day. He can have Kibum call them later on, he has yet to truly keep busy. It was expected, he hadn't had any free time in months. Kibum nods out of the corner of his eye before he lies on his brother's bed on his stomach, chin captured in his palm. "Hyung..."
The keys are all of a sudden making noises with every descent of Hyungjun's fingertips upon them. He swears the keyboard wasn't as loud before he was trying to ignore Kibum's pestering. He is not up for this, all this talking about the same topics and discussing things that are in the past. There was no sense in doing that. Hyungjun was still doing what he loves, what he had wanted for years prior.
But sometimes Hyungjun knows he wants better for himself. Kibum may have gone through his ordeal and he may be readjusting still, but he was being given a new chance, a new face. He could continue being an idol or fall back into the safety or normalcy if he felt like it. Hyungjun felt he couldn't. That was a face of his he would carry until he couldn't anymore. Moments like these, how he wishes he could go somewhere else and not be recognized. For once in his life, he would love it if people on the street confused him for a foreigner himself. He and his brother really are crazy to want to keep doing this.
Realizing that his questions were useless, Kibum pushes himself up and crawls off of the bed. There are other things he can do instead of watching Hyungjun unsuccessfully drown himself in his work.
"I hope I can handle it better than you are when I'm promoting my song. But then again I was one of the more popular members of my group. That's more than you can say."
A smile finally breaks Hyungjun's tired face. He looks over at his younger brother and sighs, "I'm sorry Kibum ah, my band was actually somewhat popular."
Kibum however is already leaving the room, middle finger extended and proud until he is fully out of his view. Where Kibum got that attitude from one would never know.
--
"Let's take another, wait a minute."
The picture is uploaded before Hyungjun is able to reach across Jungmin's lap to snatch the phone out of his hand. It would not have killed him to retake it the single extra time; the first handful of pictures are necessary to find the best lighting of course.
Hyungjun falls back into his chair with a pout (an ugly stupid one Jungmin comments). They have only been in the air for a few minutes and Hyungjun already feels the call to sleep ebbing over his thoughts. He hasn't slept much since he started promoting and he had hoped to at least sleep three hours on the plane. Jungmin has other plans for him.
"Hyung, can we please take a nap first?" Jungmin's smile drops only the smallest bit and he shrugs. He bends down to pick up his bag and sifts through it looking for something. He pulls out his IPod and a new face mask, this one with a baby lamb's design. He plugs in his earphones and places his mask comfortably over his eyes, "you better not wake me up."
He has never been as happy to see Jungmin fall asleep as easily as he is then. Hyungjun fully lowers the airplanes window and pulls his sunglasses off of his head to cover his eyes. He settles comfortably, Jungmin's long legs taking up more of their shared space and finds himself falling asleep just as easily as Jungmin had only moments ago.
--
"Is this flight long enough for a meal; do we get snacks?" Jungmin whispers into the curve of Hyungjun's shoulder.
The other man was still asleep and while Jungmin did enjoy the silence during his own short nap, the sudden pang in his stomach from hunger refused to let him continue his sleep. Of course he knows he is more than hungry, but the food he has been eating to keep off the few pounds he had lost never kept him full for long.
"Yah, are you ignoring your hyung?"
Hyungjun is asleep and doesn't hear any of it. Jungmin stares at the slumbering former magnae, gives him another few seconds of shut eye before he demands the other wake with a jab at his side. Hyungjun starts and voices his pain with curses and groans, hands groping his side to ease the pain. The woman with a young child looks at her from across the plane and her eyes cut into him. She probably knows who he is, some singer every girl looks up to, if only they could see the mouth on him now.
Meeting her eyes, he gently bows his head in apology. Jungmin all the while looks up at him with a smirk, eyes darting between him and the woman. If anything, his smile is that of a child who got away with framing a younger sibling while he escaped scot free. As Hyungjun sits, side still feeling as if it were splitting down his rib cage, Jungmin purses his lips in a mocking fashion. "Such a filthy mouth Hyungjun ah."
"I was asleep," Hyungjun says through clenched teeth.
Jungmin's head turns to the side as if not seeing the problem at all. "And I was bored," because that’s enough of a reason apparently. He was so tired, the too short nap hadn't done much for him unlike Jungmin who was probably sleeping more now that he wasn't actively promoting. Hyungjun turns to look at Jungmin, pleading with his eyes for a few more minutes of sleep. Jungmin though, never hears past his own necessities.
Unbuckling his seatbelt to get comfortable, Jungmin softly smiles at Hyungjun, "entertain me."
"Shall I juggle our cell phones or swallow the plastic knives?"
Laughter brightens up Jungmin's face, his sadistic little smirk suddenly disappearing and making him appear relaxed. Jungmin taps at his chin in mock thought, every second of silence making Hyungjun worry more for his well being.
"Ah, I know." His finger is up in the air to emphasize his point. "Let's play a game."
Both of them are competitive, especially with one another. Now that Hyungjun has learned how to defend himself somewhat after being on his own, he actually feels like he could take on Jungmin. His body might end up with a few bruises but it would be a worthy sacrifice to be able to gloat for the next day or two. Jungmin for sure would be shoving it in his face for hours to come if he won.
Hyungjun's forehead is flicked without mercy. The victim looks up, fingertips rubbing at the slowly reddening spot. "What was that for?"
"Penalty for taking too long."
A few hours later with their game becoming more and more rough and in-between meals and bathroom breaks, Hyungjun is happily walking out of the airplane. Jungmin is smiling as well, just a bit less enthusiastic, losers aren't ever happy. "What's wrong hyung?"
Jungmin rolls his eyes behind his glasses and ignores the victor of the game he himself had proposed. The flash of cameras finally hits them as they pass certain doors and are pressed together in the center of a small circle of bodyguards while their things are fetched. The two of them exchange room numbers from their hotel with intention to meet up later on if they are allowed.
Hyungjun thinks that even with all the fans around them and only a body or two separating them from the fans, he feels fine the first time he has felt this way in weeks really. He looks up at Jungmin, his face calm as Jungmin look around and feels content at the familiarity of the situation. It's almost as if it had been a year ago. Hyungjun comes close and pinches his cheek, cooing at what a baby he was being. Fans liked happy idols when they came to visit their country.
After his hand was back at his side, Jungmin's hand comes at his chin to shake it gently. Watch yourself magnae, the notion says.
The notion goes ignored. But the playfulness that Jungmin has enlisted Hyungjun for has yet to run out. When Jungmin turns around, he rests his body on Jungmin's much more broad shoulders, the difference in his height a tad bit more uncomfortable for him.
This was poking too much fun at him though. Memories of Jungmin getting back at him no matter how late, but still equally painful hit him. His arms drop from Jungmin's body immediately. Hyungjun's manager comes at his side and mumbles something to him. "Let's go."
Jungmin moves ahead and Hyungjun follows him and his manager past the small crowd of fans and onto the bus. The second the bus doors close Hyungjun gets punched in the arm. "Yah, you're not cute enough to get away with that anymore. Pft, using me as a rest."
--
"If our music was supposedly sweeping through Thailand, why are we still alive?" Hyungjun takes a swig out of his water bottle before settling back onto the small counter in front of them both. It sounds almost as if Jungmin is disappointed he isn't surrounded by the screaming fans who want to just touch him or make sure he remembers their faces because they professed their love the loudest. It was a good thing to finally be able out in the public eye without having to hide his face all that much.
"What must the old people think of us?"
Jungmin begins to chew the too hot food in his mouth waiting for Hyungjun's reply but it doesn't come as quickly as he is used to. "Two good looking guys out alone in the middle of the night eating? All sorts of bad things, I'm sure of it."
For a second or so, Jungmin's mind relapses and all his manners leave him as he begins to laugh in earnest, mouth agape with chewed food visible for all who look in his direction to see. Hyungjun hasn't seen him laugh his hard in quite a few weeks. While he can't follow the example, he can let out a short laugh, Jungmin's energy managing to get that much out of him at least.
"Two? I'm pretty sure it's one good looking guy and the average one who trails behind him."
They are both dead tired after the stress and endless movements from the concert and had been looking to unwind while walking the city at night. He had always liked walking the city at night, no matter where they had been at. The last he had been in Thailand had been amazing with exotic foods and an entertaining walk with his members. Three members were missing but Jungmin was loud and obnoxious enough to cover for the others.
"Like I was saying, if this had been us last year even at this late hour, fans would have been here. They stalk out hotels until the next morning; you know that for a fact."
They exchange duties, Hyungjun now eating while Jungmin continues to be pensive as he drinks water. He looks at the younger man, question in his eyes waiting for his confirmation of his saddening belief or hope in that he will contradict him. Neither of them want to be the boys of a has been group who find only decent success in singles and are only mildly interesting in group.
"Our fans are older now Jungmin. They have things to take care of first."
As he blows on a piece of what he hopes is pork or chicken, Jungmin nods his head. "What will happen to us in another few years then? Ajumma fans only?"
Hyungjun snorts, struggles to hold the food inside his mouth. He eyes Jungmin with a bright smile even thinking of the five of them in a concert in another two or three years. "I'm the youngest, I can keep a solo career going if anything."
About to take a bite out of his pork-chicken, Hyungjun's hand is stopped. "You're only as interesting as I allow you to be. Fans only like you because of me really." Jungmin moves his hand towards his mouth and takes the final bite, leaving Hyungjun without any left. "I still have money I have to waste. Pay the woman and let's go."
As if to prove his earlier statement about being the one leading them, Jungmin took larger steps ahead causing Hyungjun to fall back behind. The woman he had just paid gave him back the change with a smile. With the last few words of faulty English that he could remember he whispered to the woman, "he is Japanese erotic movie star."
--
"Don't you wish this was something we could do whenever we wanted?"
Hyungjun looks up from the pair of jeans he had been looking over on the chrome mannequin. His brow raises in question at the sudden change in spirits. Not too long ago, they had been going through stores that held brands they didn't want to break their wallets for and now this? Jungmin also had gotten his good few laughs when he had nearly crapped himself looking for a bathroom (some food from earlier had not agreed with his stomach).
Hyungjun decides it best he did not invest too much in Jungmin's mood swing. "We shop all the time in Seoul."
Fingering the material of a too thin shirt, he continues to search for one in his size. Jungmin wanders off towards a rack with too tight shirts. He may have lost weight but he is still too small to fit into one of those. But Jungmin has never been one to accept no.
"Okay, I'm getting this, let's pay." Hyungjun doesn’t even bother telling him that he isn't that size. Jungmin shoves it in his hand and gestures he go towards the register with some money in his hand as he wanders off to check out a few hats being displayed a few feet away. Like the caring and obedient best friend that he is, he makes his way over to the register only to find that the girl has been staring at him all along. He frowns already knowing what will occur.
She nervously smiles as she takes the shirt and folds it delicately before placing it within a bag. Her hands come out respectfully to take the money from him. Hyungjun tries to be as casual as possible and not excite her too much. He is handed over his receipt and it about to turn and leave when she smiles and holds out a pen. "Please sign," the girl asks with a nervous accent to her Korean. He nods his head, already feeling pleased with the fact that at least she hasn't done anything too rash to draw attention to them.
"I hope you do well as a solo artist Kibum oppa."
Hyungjun looks up from the notebook she had just handed over to him. He raises a brow and leans forward, body language asking she repeat herself. "Kibum?"
"Did I pronounce it wrong?" He shakes his head disregarding her rising insecurity. "It's okay."
If anything he feels more insecure about his English as he tries to communicate with her in as much of a language as he can understand. He makes a camera notion with his hand asking if she would like a picture and she immediately nods her head fishing through her pockets for her phone. She comes out to meet him and he wraps and arm around her shoulders and smiles as she takes a picture of them both. Hyungjun hugs her lightly and quickly signs back as accurately he can his brother's signature.
"Hwaiting Kibum oppa." She tries again to encourage him and Hyungjun nods his head, smiling as he suddenly feels loads better. He grabs Jungmin's wrist as he nears the door pulling him out of the shop. Jungmin keeps to his steps, "you're right, those hats were way too expensive."
At this moment, Hyungjun would have pulled out his wallet to pay any price for the most random of things, Jungmin's hat included. "Are you hungry for dessert," he asks Jungmin with too much enthusiasm he can barely control.
Jungmin looks at him, sensing the new change in Hyungjun but he does not bother to question it. Making their way in the direction of the taxis to find a place to eat once again, he simply returns the smile.
--
"Did you go back to the shady parts of the city and hook up with some whore?"
Hyungjun sighs as he stretches his legs out in front of him. They are both headed back towards the airport, Korea only a few hours away for the both of them.
The last time he had left Thailand, close to a year ago, he had left in high spirits as well. Hyungjun remembers having Youngsaeng let him share one of his ear buds to listen to some soft ballad to help keep the soft lull of sleep close by to fall to it the second they were on the airplane; Kyujong had offered to sit behind with him and they had let both their heads rest side by side on one of Kyujong's small traveling pillows. Hyunjoong had been kind enough to lend him one of the new pair of glasses he had bought on their trip, his own having broken from an accidental sitting. Jungmin had been the one who had been lost in his own world.
And yet he was here now. What he had not been able to have the year before he is reaping in tons as of late. "I'm just happy."
His explanations have never been one to suffice in Jungmin's opinion, the way his eyes narrow at him says so. He was sane for wanting to continue his lifestyle, the only thing that kept him sane. The only thing that made him crazy was that he keeps calling the same idiot along for the ride.
"I'm just saying, you could have called me and I would have gone with you. I've been pretty stressed too. I need help with that."
Hyungjun pushes Jungmin's knee away from his own, the constant bumping of their too bony legs finally irking him. "I didn't get a whore. I'm famous for crying out loud, I could get it for free."
"With that face, I'd want to be paid just to have to look at it up close. You are so unfortunate looking."
This situation calls for a sudden burst of sleepiness. Hyungjun plugs himself into his phone and searches for a song to listen to, a recent ballad that he used to hum to in bed to ease his mind. "Yah, are you ignoring me again?"
Hyungjun almost swears he remembers those same words being shouted an hour, a week, a year ago. He still doesn't tell Jungmin to shut up like he wants to, it's one of the things he wishes would stay the same for years to come.
Poll Round 8: Pack a Bag With All Your Luggage
Team: Canon
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: SS501
Pairing: Hyungjun/Jungmin
Summary: In the beginning of his solo career, Hyungjun wonders whether or not he wants to continue to be in the industry any longer than he needs to. Jungmin is the only part of his former life in a band that seems to follow him and remind him why he wants to keep at it.
Prompt Used: Ga-In- Irreversible
Hyungjun is flitting thin fingers through hair made to stand still with hairspray and gel and thin wooden sticks. He remembers once upon a time when after a long day of practice and sore throats they could all rely on someone to fall into bed with and feel the comforting heat at their side. With how things are as of late he has to go out of his way to even hear a familiar voice, whether it be to whisper that he call them back later or one to comfort him past muted tears. They were alone more or less, no matter how much they didn't want to be.
He had honestly thought that he would be suffering the most with the group's hiatus. So used to seeing four other men for the past few years and now barely being able to remember what Youngsaeng sounded like too early in the morning or Kyujong's sleep bloated face looked like, any characteristic or another about Hyunjoong. Perhaps he could try a little harder to keep in contact, like how he has with Jungmin.
But then again, Jungmin forces himself onto Hyungjun. He knows he'll get harassed for not returning a call or for not keeping contact for more than two days. 'Just because we don't see each other as often doesn't mean you have the right to pretend you're off meeting people better than I am; I doubt you even know anyone that comes near me.'
Hence why he's here playing parent to a recovering Jungmin. Too proud to ask for someone to care for him but needy enough to send a chain of messages to Hyungjun's phone informing him that his owner wasn't feeling up to par and needed his stupidity to feel better. "You know," Hyungjun begins as Jungmin changes the channel on the big screen TV mounted on his hotel room wall, "would it have been too hard to just ask that I come see you?"
The channels are flipped through so quickly that Hyungjun only collects neon green numbers changing in a corner; the pictures are all a blur as he flips past the news, cartoons, and featured movies of the day. "Would you believe that there's nothing to watch? Don't hotel rooms have at least decent porn on at a time like this?" A time like this is a few minutes past midnight, that meant the hotel should supply nothing but porn on cable in Jungmin's eyes.
They settle for some documentary on the mental health care in Asia. Without even noticing it, a half hour passes and Hyungjun is between a soft sleep and awake when he hears Jungmin say something. He asks that the other repeat.
Jungmin huffs like if he was asking to borrow an obscene amount of money a second or third time, "I said we should get ourselves checked into an institution as well."
It is odd to hear Jungmin speak with such a deflated tone, whether sick and tired or healthy and well slept. "Why?"
"Contracts are done and what do we do? We sign up for a few years more torture; you don't think that makes us insane?" Jungmin plays with the remote control in hand, fingertips ghosting past the protruding buttons as he turns the object in his hand. Hyungjun takes it out of his hand and tosses it away from both of them, hitting Jungmin's shin before it falls to the side of it. Jungmin does not retaliate and that scares Hyungjun in itself.
"I was pretty healthy coming into this; you were the one that drove us all up the wall. SS401 sounds just as successful groups don’t you think," Hyungjun jokes as he looks at the nurse on the television.
He gets a jab at his side and a familiar pain shoots up his ribcage until it reaches the smile forming at his mouth. Jungmin had been too serious for his own liking and in all honesty, he might have missed some of the physical torture Jungmin forced on him (smaller doses of it would still be best).
"We're all doing well."
"Are we? I don't remember being this physically weak when I was with you."
Hyungjun doesn't know if that 'with you' is referring to 'with you' in the group or 'with you' and only you.
"Now hurry up and change the channel before I die from boredom. The porn should be starting in a few minutes."
Hyungjun stretches to retrieve the control and starts channel surfing to appease Jungmin. He knows nothing remotely sexual will be airing except for perhaps the suggestive shows from overseas which flash a breast at most. Getting comfortable on the bed he pushes Jungmin aside and he lies on his stomach, bunched comforter serving as a pillow under his chin.
After a minute or two, he finds what might be a documentary on what could be mail order brides of prostitutes from Thailand, Hyungjun asks Jungmin if this is okay. He receives no response and turns to check on the other. Jungmin's body has turned to give him his back. When Hyungjun sits up to make sure he really is sleeping, he sees the small sleeping mask is pulled over his eyes. The medication works thankfully, as easy as Jungmin is to fall asleep, he attempts to fight sleep to revel in those few minutes he can share with the others.
He turns off the television and puts the control on the bedside table, eyes sweeping over the now dark room. If it was anyone else, he would have climbed into bed and spend the night. Jungmin still isn't one to enjoy company in bed when he was sleeping. Deciding it was better he actually slept and wasn't up all night fearing for his safety, Hyungjun gathers his things and heads out. First thing tomorrow morning, he reminds himself, he has to call to make sure Jungmin takes the other half of the medication. The automatic lock clicks behind him as he softly shuts the door behind him locking him out for the night.
--
Jungmin slides in before the swinging door closes behind the nurse. Hyungjun looks up at him after managing to fix his arm without disrupting his IV and produces a small smile. The guest assesses the situation and realizes with a puff that nothing it too out of the ordinary. Taking casual steps towards the younger man, he pushes his glasses up into his hair, "your brother never picks up his phone and neither do you. I thought you were dying."
Hyungjun laughs as Jungmin comes around his bedside and looks down at the needle penetrating the frail skin of his forearm. It is not as uncommon a sight as anyone in their industry hopes. "Have you been sleeping well," Jungmin asks as he puts his bag down at Hyungjun's feet.
The question is ignored in favor of another. "Fluff my pillows?"
He fixes his coat sash first before he does as he is asked. He looks down at Hyungjun and released a soft sigh in relief that there was no immediate danger. "Kibum said that you were dying; his message made it seem like if you were within minu-"
"Of dying of boredom. He was right about that."
The bed dips at his feet with Jungmin taking a seat. He rubs at one of his knees while looking back at the needle. He had all but broken his leg rushing out of his schedule as soon as he was done. It was one thing to get a message to come see him when he had time because he was getting an IV drip and another entirely to be informed that he was dying. As annoying as Hyungjun could be at times, he was more or less his best friend. Jungmin takes a deep breath and begins to tell the younger man of his adventure, the insane obstacles he had to overcome to see him. Pissed off managers, fangirls trying to climb into his van, enraged sponsors and the likes find their way into Jungmin's animated story, complete with a handful of mentions of how hungry he was.
There's nothing in the room that Hyungjun can offer him sadly enough. He thinks perhaps he has an energy bar in his bag but even that is too far away to grab while he is held back by the IV. Jungmin gets up on his own though, he looks through the few bags of useless things Hyungjun had had on him when he came into the hospital. "This brand is a waste of money," Jungmin comments as he holds up a Piro Piro neck pillow.
Hyungjun rolls his eyes at the comment knowing not to take it seriously. Jungmin continues to pull out a few more prototypes of his products, each item receiving criticism. Hyungjun pays him mind then, Jungmin is as critical as any consumer and any comment that could help the final product be that much better helps.
"How long are you going to be here?"
"For a night or so."
Nodding his head, Jungmin moves towards the bag with Hyungjun's other belongings. He pulls out his wallet and begins to sift through the bills inside. Hyungjun expects another comment about the money in his wallet but Jungmin simply puts the wallet aside and keeps looking through his things. Just as Hyungjun had thought, there was an energy bar within, most likely somewhat melted with the angle it was at.
"Ah, the dinner of CEOs and idols."
He returns to the bed after putting Hyungjun's belongings back into his bag. Getting comfortable atop the bed, legs pulled up under him, Jungmin begins to eat. He eats silently for a minute as Hyungjun only stares at him, brow raised in question. Jungmin is not one to be this silent unless he is sleeping or giving him the cold shoulder. It almost bothers him.
"Kyujong called me earlier this week." Jungmin's hand is up covering his mouth, all manners and politeness even when it is only Hyungjun in the room with him. "Really? I haven't talked to him in a few days. How is he?"
Hyungjun reclines as Jungmin drinks from bottled water he produced from inside his bag and starts telling him about the slow but sure process of Youngsaeng's album and the even slower creation of his. He closes his eyes and lets his head loll a bit, mind already making Jungmin's voice a lullaby as he totters between sleep and wake. If he ignores the topic, he can almost pretend it was another situation in another day in the life of a boy band member.
He has to be crazy to want to do for a few more years. The IV must be providing him the sense he didn't have before. Jungmin's voice quiets down and the familiar sound of fingertips hitting a touch screen takes over. Jungmin finally is considerate of him after all these years.
--
"Is this what it's going to be like if I comeback as a solo artist?"
Kibum stands at the entrance of his bedroom. He takes Hyungjun's ignoring him as permission to enter and comes in before his brother verbally denies him entrance. Hyungjun is looking through a few sheets of printed music from his earlier strike of muse. "What do you think of this?"
He hands over a thin stack of papers and Kibum looks over them with only half interest. His older brother has been spending what few free hours he should be dedicating to sleep and relaxation to additional work.
"It's not bad. You still haven't answered me though, what's wrong?"
Hyungjun looks away from the notes in front of him and shrugs as an answer. Kibum is both his younger brother and his junior in the industry, if anyone knows how to handle pressures and any trouble from their jobs, it is him.
"Did you help put away the groceries," Hyungjun innocently asks as he scribbles down a few names to call later on that day. He can have Kibum call them later on, he has yet to truly keep busy. It was expected, he hadn't had any free time in months. Kibum nods out of the corner of his eye before he lies on his brother's bed on his stomach, chin captured in his palm. "Hyung..."
The keys are all of a sudden making noises with every descent of Hyungjun's fingertips upon them. He swears the keyboard wasn't as loud before he was trying to ignore Kibum's pestering. He is not up for this, all this talking about the same topics and discussing things that are in the past. There was no sense in doing that. Hyungjun was still doing what he loves, what he had wanted for years prior.
But sometimes Hyungjun knows he wants better for himself. Kibum may have gone through his ordeal and he may be readjusting still, but he was being given a new chance, a new face. He could continue being an idol or fall back into the safety or normalcy if he felt like it. Hyungjun felt he couldn't. That was a face of his he would carry until he couldn't anymore. Moments like these, how he wishes he could go somewhere else and not be recognized. For once in his life, he would love it if people on the street confused him for a foreigner himself. He and his brother really are crazy to want to keep doing this.
Realizing that his questions were useless, Kibum pushes himself up and crawls off of the bed. There are other things he can do instead of watching Hyungjun unsuccessfully drown himself in his work.
"I hope I can handle it better than you are when I'm promoting my song. But then again I was one of the more popular members of my group. That's more than you can say."
A smile finally breaks Hyungjun's tired face. He looks over at his younger brother and sighs, "I'm sorry Kibum ah, my band was actually somewhat popular."
Kibum however is already leaving the room, middle finger extended and proud until he is fully out of his view. Where Kibum got that attitude from one would never know.
--
"Let's take another, wait a minute."
The picture is uploaded before Hyungjun is able to reach across Jungmin's lap to snatch the phone out of his hand. It would not have killed him to retake it the single extra time; the first handful of pictures are necessary to find the best lighting of course.
Hyungjun falls back into his chair with a pout (an ugly stupid one Jungmin comments). They have only been in the air for a few minutes and Hyungjun already feels the call to sleep ebbing over his thoughts. He hasn't slept much since he started promoting and he had hoped to at least sleep three hours on the plane. Jungmin has other plans for him.
"Hyung, can we please take a nap first?" Jungmin's smile drops only the smallest bit and he shrugs. He bends down to pick up his bag and sifts through it looking for something. He pulls out his IPod and a new face mask, this one with a baby lamb's design. He plugs in his earphones and places his mask comfortably over his eyes, "you better not wake me up."
He has never been as happy to see Jungmin fall asleep as easily as he is then. Hyungjun fully lowers the airplanes window and pulls his sunglasses off of his head to cover his eyes. He settles comfortably, Jungmin's long legs taking up more of their shared space and finds himself falling asleep just as easily as Jungmin had only moments ago.
--
"Is this flight long enough for a meal; do we get snacks?" Jungmin whispers into the curve of Hyungjun's shoulder.
The other man was still asleep and while Jungmin did enjoy the silence during his own short nap, the sudden pang in his stomach from hunger refused to let him continue his sleep. Of course he knows he is more than hungry, but the food he has been eating to keep off the few pounds he had lost never kept him full for long.
"Yah, are you ignoring your hyung?"
Hyungjun is asleep and doesn't hear any of it. Jungmin stares at the slumbering former magnae, gives him another few seconds of shut eye before he demands the other wake with a jab at his side. Hyungjun starts and voices his pain with curses and groans, hands groping his side to ease the pain. The woman with a young child looks at her from across the plane and her eyes cut into him. She probably knows who he is, some singer every girl looks up to, if only they could see the mouth on him now.
Meeting her eyes, he gently bows his head in apology. Jungmin all the while looks up at him with a smirk, eyes darting between him and the woman. If anything, his smile is that of a child who got away with framing a younger sibling while he escaped scot free. As Hyungjun sits, side still feeling as if it were splitting down his rib cage, Jungmin purses his lips in a mocking fashion. "Such a filthy mouth Hyungjun ah."
"I was asleep," Hyungjun says through clenched teeth.
Jungmin's head turns to the side as if not seeing the problem at all. "And I was bored," because that’s enough of a reason apparently. He was so tired, the too short nap hadn't done much for him unlike Jungmin who was probably sleeping more now that he wasn't actively promoting. Hyungjun turns to look at Jungmin, pleading with his eyes for a few more minutes of sleep. Jungmin though, never hears past his own necessities.
Unbuckling his seatbelt to get comfortable, Jungmin softly smiles at Hyungjun, "entertain me."
"Shall I juggle our cell phones or swallow the plastic knives?"
Laughter brightens up Jungmin's face, his sadistic little smirk suddenly disappearing and making him appear relaxed. Jungmin taps at his chin in mock thought, every second of silence making Hyungjun worry more for his well being.
"Ah, I know." His finger is up in the air to emphasize his point. "Let's play a game."
Both of them are competitive, especially with one another. Now that Hyungjun has learned how to defend himself somewhat after being on his own, he actually feels like he could take on Jungmin. His body might end up with a few bruises but it would be a worthy sacrifice to be able to gloat for the next day or two. Jungmin for sure would be shoving it in his face for hours to come if he won.
Hyungjun's forehead is flicked without mercy. The victim looks up, fingertips rubbing at the slowly reddening spot. "What was that for?"
"Penalty for taking too long."
A few hours later with their game becoming more and more rough and in-between meals and bathroom breaks, Hyungjun is happily walking out of the airplane. Jungmin is smiling as well, just a bit less enthusiastic, losers aren't ever happy. "What's wrong hyung?"
Jungmin rolls his eyes behind his glasses and ignores the victor of the game he himself had proposed. The flash of cameras finally hits them as they pass certain doors and are pressed together in the center of a small circle of bodyguards while their things are fetched. The two of them exchange room numbers from their hotel with intention to meet up later on if they are allowed.
Hyungjun thinks that even with all the fans around them and only a body or two separating them from the fans, he feels fine the first time he has felt this way in weeks really. He looks up at Jungmin, his face calm as Jungmin look around and feels content at the familiarity of the situation. It's almost as if it had been a year ago. Hyungjun comes close and pinches his cheek, cooing at what a baby he was being. Fans liked happy idols when they came to visit their country.
After his hand was back at his side, Jungmin's hand comes at his chin to shake it gently. Watch yourself magnae, the notion says.
The notion goes ignored. But the playfulness that Jungmin has enlisted Hyungjun for has yet to run out. When Jungmin turns around, he rests his body on Jungmin's much more broad shoulders, the difference in his height a tad bit more uncomfortable for him.
This was poking too much fun at him though. Memories of Jungmin getting back at him no matter how late, but still equally painful hit him. His arms drop from Jungmin's body immediately. Hyungjun's manager comes at his side and mumbles something to him. "Let's go."
Jungmin moves ahead and Hyungjun follows him and his manager past the small crowd of fans and onto the bus. The second the bus doors close Hyungjun gets punched in the arm. "Yah, you're not cute enough to get away with that anymore. Pft, using me as a rest."
--
"If our music was supposedly sweeping through Thailand, why are we still alive?" Hyungjun takes a swig out of his water bottle before settling back onto the small counter in front of them both. It sounds almost as if Jungmin is disappointed he isn't surrounded by the screaming fans who want to just touch him or make sure he remembers their faces because they professed their love the loudest. It was a good thing to finally be able out in the public eye without having to hide his face all that much.
"What must the old people think of us?"
Jungmin begins to chew the too hot food in his mouth waiting for Hyungjun's reply but it doesn't come as quickly as he is used to. "Two good looking guys out alone in the middle of the night eating? All sorts of bad things, I'm sure of it."
For a second or so, Jungmin's mind relapses and all his manners leave him as he begins to laugh in earnest, mouth agape with chewed food visible for all who look in his direction to see. Hyungjun hasn't seen him laugh his hard in quite a few weeks. While he can't follow the example, he can let out a short laugh, Jungmin's energy managing to get that much out of him at least.
"Two? I'm pretty sure it's one good looking guy and the average one who trails behind him."
They are both dead tired after the stress and endless movements from the concert and had been looking to unwind while walking the city at night. He had always liked walking the city at night, no matter where they had been at. The last he had been in Thailand had been amazing with exotic foods and an entertaining walk with his members. Three members were missing but Jungmin was loud and obnoxious enough to cover for the others.
"Like I was saying, if this had been us last year even at this late hour, fans would have been here. They stalk out hotels until the next morning; you know that for a fact."
They exchange duties, Hyungjun now eating while Jungmin continues to be pensive as he drinks water. He looks at the younger man, question in his eyes waiting for his confirmation of his saddening belief or hope in that he will contradict him. Neither of them want to be the boys of a has been group who find only decent success in singles and are only mildly interesting in group.
"Our fans are older now Jungmin. They have things to take care of first."
As he blows on a piece of what he hopes is pork or chicken, Jungmin nods his head. "What will happen to us in another few years then? Ajumma fans only?"
Hyungjun snorts, struggles to hold the food inside his mouth. He eyes Jungmin with a bright smile even thinking of the five of them in a concert in another two or three years. "I'm the youngest, I can keep a solo career going if anything."
About to take a bite out of his pork-chicken, Hyungjun's hand is stopped. "You're only as interesting as I allow you to be. Fans only like you because of me really." Jungmin moves his hand towards his mouth and takes the final bite, leaving Hyungjun without any left. "I still have money I have to waste. Pay the woman and let's go."
As if to prove his earlier statement about being the one leading them, Jungmin took larger steps ahead causing Hyungjun to fall back behind. The woman he had just paid gave him back the change with a smile. With the last few words of faulty English that he could remember he whispered to the woman, "he is Japanese erotic movie star."
--
"Don't you wish this was something we could do whenever we wanted?"
Hyungjun looks up from the pair of jeans he had been looking over on the chrome mannequin. His brow raises in question at the sudden change in spirits. Not too long ago, they had been going through stores that held brands they didn't want to break their wallets for and now this? Jungmin also had gotten his good few laughs when he had nearly crapped himself looking for a bathroom (some food from earlier had not agreed with his stomach).
Hyungjun decides it best he did not invest too much in Jungmin's mood swing. "We shop all the time in Seoul."
Fingering the material of a too thin shirt, he continues to search for one in his size. Jungmin wanders off towards a rack with too tight shirts. He may have lost weight but he is still too small to fit into one of those. But Jungmin has never been one to accept no.
"Okay, I'm getting this, let's pay." Hyungjun doesn’t even bother telling him that he isn't that size. Jungmin shoves it in his hand and gestures he go towards the register with some money in his hand as he wanders off to check out a few hats being displayed a few feet away. Like the caring and obedient best friend that he is, he makes his way over to the register only to find that the girl has been staring at him all along. He frowns already knowing what will occur.
She nervously smiles as she takes the shirt and folds it delicately before placing it within a bag. Her hands come out respectfully to take the money from him. Hyungjun tries to be as casual as possible and not excite her too much. He is handed over his receipt and it about to turn and leave when she smiles and holds out a pen. "Please sign," the girl asks with a nervous accent to her Korean. He nods his head, already feeling pleased with the fact that at least she hasn't done anything too rash to draw attention to them.
"I hope you do well as a solo artist Kibum oppa."
Hyungjun looks up from the notebook she had just handed over to him. He raises a brow and leans forward, body language asking she repeat herself. "Kibum?"
"Did I pronounce it wrong?" He shakes his head disregarding her rising insecurity. "It's okay."
If anything he feels more insecure about his English as he tries to communicate with her in as much of a language as he can understand. He makes a camera notion with his hand asking if she would like a picture and she immediately nods her head fishing through her pockets for her phone. She comes out to meet him and he wraps and arm around her shoulders and smiles as she takes a picture of them both. Hyungjun hugs her lightly and quickly signs back as accurately he can his brother's signature.
"Hwaiting Kibum oppa." She tries again to encourage him and Hyungjun nods his head, smiling as he suddenly feels loads better. He grabs Jungmin's wrist as he nears the door pulling him out of the shop. Jungmin keeps to his steps, "you're right, those hats were way too expensive."
At this moment, Hyungjun would have pulled out his wallet to pay any price for the most random of things, Jungmin's hat included. "Are you hungry for dessert," he asks Jungmin with too much enthusiasm he can barely control.
Jungmin looks at him, sensing the new change in Hyungjun but he does not bother to question it. Making their way in the direction of the taxis to find a place to eat once again, he simply returns the smile.
--
"Did you go back to the shady parts of the city and hook up with some whore?"
Hyungjun sighs as he stretches his legs out in front of him. They are both headed back towards the airport, Korea only a few hours away for the both of them.
The last time he had left Thailand, close to a year ago, he had left in high spirits as well. Hyungjun remembers having Youngsaeng let him share one of his ear buds to listen to some soft ballad to help keep the soft lull of sleep close by to fall to it the second they were on the airplane; Kyujong had offered to sit behind with him and they had let both their heads rest side by side on one of Kyujong's small traveling pillows. Hyunjoong had been kind enough to lend him one of the new pair of glasses he had bought on their trip, his own having broken from an accidental sitting. Jungmin had been the one who had been lost in his own world.
And yet he was here now. What he had not been able to have the year before he is reaping in tons as of late. "I'm just happy."
His explanations have never been one to suffice in Jungmin's opinion, the way his eyes narrow at him says so. He was sane for wanting to continue his lifestyle, the only thing that kept him sane. The only thing that made him crazy was that he keeps calling the same idiot along for the ride.
"I'm just saying, you could have called me and I would have gone with you. I've been pretty stressed too. I need help with that."
Hyungjun pushes Jungmin's knee away from his own, the constant bumping of their too bony legs finally irking him. "I didn't get a whore. I'm famous for crying out loud, I could get it for free."
"With that face, I'd want to be paid just to have to look at it up close. You are so unfortunate looking."
This situation calls for a sudden burst of sleepiness. Hyungjun plugs himself into his phone and searches for a song to listen to, a recent ballad that he used to hum to in bed to ease his mind. "Yah, are you ignoring me again?"
Hyungjun almost swears he remembers those same words being shouted an hour, a week, a year ago. He still doesn't tell Jungmin to shut up like he wants to, it's one of the things he wishes would stay the same for years to come.
Poll Round 8: Pack a Bag With All Your Luggage