Round 26: Artificial Sweetener
Title: Artificial Sweetener
Team: AU
Rating: pg-13
Fandom: JYJ
Pairing: JaeSu
Summary: It was only for so long that Junsu could pretend that everything was okay.
Author's Note: Whew. Originally…this was supposed to be a thriller fic with lots of death but…I couldn’t do that to my boys and changed it. Instead, I just broken Junsu’s heart into pieces. GG. Shout outs to Team Despair and all of Team AU, WE MADE IT <3
Prompt Used: Girl’s Day - Something
If Junsu had to describe Jaejoong in one word, that word would be
Sugar.
“Junsu-yah?”
From the smell of the bakery on his clothes to the taste of his lips, Junsu couldn’t think of another way to describe him.
But Jaejoong was anything but sweet.
“...Hello, Junsu-yah? Anyone there?”
Junsu blinked out of his own thoughts, dragging his eyes up from Jaejoong’s open collar where he spotted… something... and easily plastered on a fake smile.
“Sorry, got distracted. Today’s practice was really hard. What did you say?”
Jaejoong pursed his lips and looked at him. Briefly, Junsu wondered if this was the moment-
The moment he had been waiting for where the pin would finally drop and that Jaejoong would see through everything-
“You work too much. You deserve more rest being the team’s star player, especially with the way you win games for them” Jaejoong’s lips stretched into an equally sweet smile. The smile Junsu had loved, once upon a time.
Now, it just made Junsu want to vomit as well as shove everything on the table to the ground.
What were they even doing? Who were they even kidding?
Not themselves.
Not anymore.
But they continued their charade for the rest of the night, cleaning up the dishes, sitting side by side as Jaejoong carefully massaged the cramps out of Junsu’s shins from soccer practice, both trying not to show any emotion as the main character of the drama they watched propose to his girlfriend.
Junsu, in his typical nervous habit, spun the ring on his left thumb.
Junsu, in his typical habit, peeked up a Jaejoong and then eventually back down at his open collar, the bruise in the crook of his neck now more visible from the angle he had leaning against Jaejoong’s shoulder.
Junsu, in his typical habit, closed his eyes once more to the site and, instead, breathed in the sweet smell of pastries and creme that always lingered on Jaejoong.
Yes, Jaejoong was sugar, but he wasn’t the real kind. He wasn’t truly sweet. He was the artificial sweetener used to mix into coffee to make it less bitter. He was the calorie free pink packets used for tea that made the tea taste sickeningly sweet instead of just the right a lot.
Jaejoong was fake sugar- He was fake.
But that was okay. Junsu could be fake too. Junsu would be fake too.
Everything about them fake these days and instead of wondering where it went wrong, what they could do to fix it, Junsu just forced a smile. He kept up the act, he continued the charade.
It would be easy to call him out for it. So easy to reach up and tear open Jaejoong’s shirt, to push him against the couch and demand what the hell a hickey was doing on his neck when Junsu hadn’t seen him in three days thanks to an away match and practice.
Since the first time, more than once, Junsu caught his hand itching to do just that. To upset the dangerous balance they created, this charade on a tightrope that only the best of the best could keep up with.
Because without it- without this balancing act, without this strange play they found themselves caught up in-
Junsu would have nothing.
-
A long time ago, Junsu fell in love with a smile.
It was a smile that was often hidden behind a hand, so every time that he actually saw it, Junsu’s heart stopped as the view imprinted itself on his heart.
Kim Jaejoong.
He worked at his family bakery that was near the field that Junsu’s old college soccer team practiced at. Too many times had his team came in and practically bought the place out, looking to fill their stomachs with carbs as soon as they could. But every time Junsu walked into the door, he walked out with a full heart instead.
It took him three years to ask Jaejoong on a date.
He still remembered the way on his senior year, right after he had been scouted for a pro team in Seoul, that he marched into the bakery in his sweaty uniform and kissed Jaejoong right over the fresh tray of creme puffs in his hands, happier beyond belief.
They had only been on two dates at that point, but as they pulled apart, Jaejoong smiled the most beautiful smile and said-
“Finally.”
-
It was after Junsu graduated and moved to a new apartment, along with Jaejoong of course, that the first time it happened.
Jaejoong came home one night drunk...with a friend.
If Junsu closed his eyes, he could still see the exact scene.
The door opening had woken him up and Junsu had quietly walked into their living room to greet his boyfriend. But he quickly hid for some reason when he saw what he did.
Jaejoong giggling in the doorway, flushed face visible from the light outside the door. Their voices were quiet as they talked, Junsu never knew what they said that night, but soon Jaejoong’s friend was pressing him gently against the door with a kiss.
And Jaejoong…
Jaejoong did nothing.
He just let his friend kiss him and bid him a good night.
Maybe it was because Jaejoong did nothing that Junsu didn’t make his presence known and he just slipped back into bed.
He faked sleep when Jaejoong crawled in, smelling of sugar and beer as he wrapped himself around Junsu.
Maybe, back then, Junsu had hoped it was just a misunderstanding, that it was just alcohol, that Jaejoong would tell him about when they woke up over coffee.
Jaejoong would add just the right amount of syrup to Junsu’s and splash a bit of milk into his own before spilling out the words and apologizing for something that wasn’t his fault.
It was those thoughts that allowed Junsu to fall asleep then...and it was those words that would haunt him for the following years.
For the next morning...Jaejoong said nothing.
And the next time it happened...still nothing.
And next time and the next-
Nothing.
-
One time, in the locker room, the topic of cheating came up.
His teammate had cheated on his girlfriend with some model and was too proud of it.
“It’s not like she knew, so it was great. I’ll probably do it again”
The next thing he knew, Junsu was standing over his teammate, staring down at his now bloody nose.
“Junsu, what the FUCK.”
It took four of his teammates to pull him away and he was suspended from practice for a week and two games.
When his coach asked for a reason why he would do something so stupid to endanger his career, Junsu had no answer for him.
He asked again, and then asked if Junsu had been cheated on and if that set him off.
“That’s none of your business, sir.”
Junsu left and when he came back from his suspension, the bruise from his hand was gone and so was that teammate.
-
The day that everything ended was the day that Jaejoong became too bold.
It was also the day that Junsu became too optimistic.
Junsu was supposed to be away for a game, but seeing as it was their anniversary, he wanted to do...something.
Two of his teammates had recently got married and it made him want something more- something better for himself. But when he thought about the future, about the things that made him happy, all he could see was that smile he fell in love with when he was nothing but a sweaty, bruised eighteen year old.
No matter what happened, he wanted to wake up to that smile everyday, knowing that it was his and his alone.
The whole train ride back to Seoul, he spent twisting the gold ring that Jaejoong had given to him as his first birthday gift, when Junsu turned twenty. It was the most precious thing he owned, despite everything. When he arrived, he took a taxi to one of the richest department stores and dropped a lot of money on something that came in an extremely small bag.
After that, it felt like a sprint to their apartment.
Junsu ran up the ten flights of stairs, too impatient for the elevator. He slammed in their keycode and kicked off his sneakers next to Jaejoong’s favorite boots, trying to catch his breath.
Jaejoong was home, that was good.
He panted, taking in deep breathes as he walked into the living room, looking around. Something felt strange, like it was too quiet. It wasn’t until he slipped and fell on a t-shirt that he noticed.
Clothes were everywhere.
Socks, jeans, shirts-
Boxers.
They made a trail leading to the most obvious place and Junsu’s hand hovered over the door.
Everything that he had thought that day... From the moment he scored the final goal for his team and decided that today was a good day to start again to the moment he bought-
His hand carefully opened the door before he could stop it. The naked bodies on the bed weren’t surprising, but the smile on Jaejoong’s face-
The smile that Junsu had only seen directed at him, HIS smile was directed at some stranger in his bed.
“Jaejoong.”
He ignored the heartbreak in his voice and just dropped the tiny bag in his hand.
“Junsu- Shit-”
“Jaejoong, who in the hell-”
When the smell of sugar surrounded him, Junsu could no longer hear or feel anything, for there was nothing for him to even try to deny anymore.
His feet had slipped from him on the tightrope, the stage cracked beneath him, the carefully carved mask he had taken such good care of over the years was finally broken.
This was truly the end.
The pin had dropped.
Poll
Team: AU
Rating: pg-13
Fandom: JYJ
Pairing: JaeSu
Summary: It was only for so long that Junsu could pretend that everything was okay.
Author's Note: Whew. Originally…this was supposed to be a thriller fic with lots of death but…I couldn’t do that to my boys and changed it. Instead, I just broken Junsu’s heart into pieces. GG. Shout outs to Team Despair and all of Team AU, WE MADE IT <3
Prompt Used: Girl’s Day - Something
If Junsu had to describe Jaejoong in one word, that word would be
Sugar.
“Junsu-yah?”
From the smell of the bakery on his clothes to the taste of his lips, Junsu couldn’t think of another way to describe him.
But Jaejoong was anything but sweet.
“...Hello, Junsu-yah? Anyone there?”
Junsu blinked out of his own thoughts, dragging his eyes up from Jaejoong’s open collar where he spotted… something... and easily plastered on a fake smile.
“Sorry, got distracted. Today’s practice was really hard. What did you say?”
Jaejoong pursed his lips and looked at him. Briefly, Junsu wondered if this was the moment-
The moment he had been waiting for where the pin would finally drop and that Jaejoong would see through everything-
“You work too much. You deserve more rest being the team’s star player, especially with the way you win games for them” Jaejoong’s lips stretched into an equally sweet smile. The smile Junsu had loved, once upon a time.
Now, it just made Junsu want to vomit as well as shove everything on the table to the ground.
What were they even doing? Who were they even kidding?
Not themselves.
Not anymore.
But they continued their charade for the rest of the night, cleaning up the dishes, sitting side by side as Jaejoong carefully massaged the cramps out of Junsu’s shins from soccer practice, both trying not to show any emotion as the main character of the drama they watched propose to his girlfriend.
Junsu, in his typical nervous habit, spun the ring on his left thumb.
Junsu, in his typical habit, peeked up a Jaejoong and then eventually back down at his open collar, the bruise in the crook of his neck now more visible from the angle he had leaning against Jaejoong’s shoulder.
Junsu, in his typical habit, closed his eyes once more to the site and, instead, breathed in the sweet smell of pastries and creme that always lingered on Jaejoong.
Yes, Jaejoong was sugar, but he wasn’t the real kind. He wasn’t truly sweet. He was the artificial sweetener used to mix into coffee to make it less bitter. He was the calorie free pink packets used for tea that made the tea taste sickeningly sweet instead of just the right a lot.
Jaejoong was fake sugar- He was fake.
But that was okay. Junsu could be fake too. Junsu would be fake too.
Everything about them fake these days and instead of wondering where it went wrong, what they could do to fix it, Junsu just forced a smile. He kept up the act, he continued the charade.
It would be easy to call him out for it. So easy to reach up and tear open Jaejoong’s shirt, to push him against the couch and demand what the hell a hickey was doing on his neck when Junsu hadn’t seen him in three days thanks to an away match and practice.
Since the first time, more than once, Junsu caught his hand itching to do just that. To upset the dangerous balance they created, this charade on a tightrope that only the best of the best could keep up with.
Because without it- without this balancing act, without this strange play they found themselves caught up in-
Junsu would have nothing.
-
A long time ago, Junsu fell in love with a smile.
It was a smile that was often hidden behind a hand, so every time that he actually saw it, Junsu’s heart stopped as the view imprinted itself on his heart.
Kim Jaejoong.
He worked at his family bakery that was near the field that Junsu’s old college soccer team practiced at. Too many times had his team came in and practically bought the place out, looking to fill their stomachs with carbs as soon as they could. But every time Junsu walked into the door, he walked out with a full heart instead.
It took him three years to ask Jaejoong on a date.
He still remembered the way on his senior year, right after he had been scouted for a pro team in Seoul, that he marched into the bakery in his sweaty uniform and kissed Jaejoong right over the fresh tray of creme puffs in his hands, happier beyond belief.
They had only been on two dates at that point, but as they pulled apart, Jaejoong smiled the most beautiful smile and said-
“Finally.”
-
It was after Junsu graduated and moved to a new apartment, along with Jaejoong of course, that the first time it happened.
Jaejoong came home one night drunk...with a friend.
If Junsu closed his eyes, he could still see the exact scene.
The door opening had woken him up and Junsu had quietly walked into their living room to greet his boyfriend. But he quickly hid for some reason when he saw what he did.
Jaejoong giggling in the doorway, flushed face visible from the light outside the door. Their voices were quiet as they talked, Junsu never knew what they said that night, but soon Jaejoong’s friend was pressing him gently against the door with a kiss.
And Jaejoong…
Jaejoong did nothing.
He just let his friend kiss him and bid him a good night.
Maybe it was because Jaejoong did nothing that Junsu didn’t make his presence known and he just slipped back into bed.
He faked sleep when Jaejoong crawled in, smelling of sugar and beer as he wrapped himself around Junsu.
Maybe, back then, Junsu had hoped it was just a misunderstanding, that it was just alcohol, that Jaejoong would tell him about when they woke up over coffee.
Jaejoong would add just the right amount of syrup to Junsu’s and splash a bit of milk into his own before spilling out the words and apologizing for something that wasn’t his fault.
It was those thoughts that allowed Junsu to fall asleep then...and it was those words that would haunt him for the following years.
For the next morning...Jaejoong said nothing.
And the next time it happened...still nothing.
And next time and the next-
Nothing.
-
One time, in the locker room, the topic of cheating came up.
His teammate had cheated on his girlfriend with some model and was too proud of it.
“It’s not like she knew, so it was great. I’ll probably do it again”
The next thing he knew, Junsu was standing over his teammate, staring down at his now bloody nose.
“Junsu, what the FUCK.”
It took four of his teammates to pull him away and he was suspended from practice for a week and two games.
When his coach asked for a reason why he would do something so stupid to endanger his career, Junsu had no answer for him.
He asked again, and then asked if Junsu had been cheated on and if that set him off.
“That’s none of your business, sir.”
Junsu left and when he came back from his suspension, the bruise from his hand was gone and so was that teammate.
-
The day that everything ended was the day that Jaejoong became too bold.
It was also the day that Junsu became too optimistic.
Junsu was supposed to be away for a game, but seeing as it was their anniversary, he wanted to do...something.
Two of his teammates had recently got married and it made him want something more- something better for himself. But when he thought about the future, about the things that made him happy, all he could see was that smile he fell in love with when he was nothing but a sweaty, bruised eighteen year old.
No matter what happened, he wanted to wake up to that smile everyday, knowing that it was his and his alone.
The whole train ride back to Seoul, he spent twisting the gold ring that Jaejoong had given to him as his first birthday gift, when Junsu turned twenty. It was the most precious thing he owned, despite everything. When he arrived, he took a taxi to one of the richest department stores and dropped a lot of money on something that came in an extremely small bag.
After that, it felt like a sprint to their apartment.
Junsu ran up the ten flights of stairs, too impatient for the elevator. He slammed in their keycode and kicked off his sneakers next to Jaejoong’s favorite boots, trying to catch his breath.
Jaejoong was home, that was good.
He panted, taking in deep breathes as he walked into the living room, looking around. Something felt strange, like it was too quiet. It wasn’t until he slipped and fell on a t-shirt that he noticed.
Clothes were everywhere.
Socks, jeans, shirts-
Boxers.
They made a trail leading to the most obvious place and Junsu’s hand hovered over the door.
Everything that he had thought that day... From the moment he scored the final goal for his team and decided that today was a good day to start again to the moment he bought-
His hand carefully opened the door before he could stop it. The naked bodies on the bed weren’t surprising, but the smile on Jaejoong’s face-
The smile that Junsu had only seen directed at him, HIS smile was directed at some stranger in his bed.
“Jaejoong.”
He ignored the heartbreak in his voice and just dropped the tiny bag in his hand.
“Junsu- Shit-”
“Jaejoong, who in the hell-”
When the smell of sugar surrounded him, Junsu could no longer hear or feel anything, for there was nothing for him to even try to deny anymore.
His feet had slipped from him on the tightrope, the stage cracked beneath him, the carefully carved mask he had taken such good care of over the years was finally broken.
This was truly the end.
The pin had dropped.
Poll