#27 [EXO, Lu Han/Kai]
Fandom: EXO
Title: Between The Pages
Rating: NC17
Pairing(s)/Focus: Luhan/Jongin
Length: 2,793 words
Summary: Luhan confesses to Jongin in his latest book, but Jongin doesn't seem to be getting it.
Notes: I sincerely hope I did justice to the original.
Remixee author: michaelwesten
Title of work you remixed: Wait For A Word
Link to work you remixed: http://fridaysblues.livejournal.com/5713.html
Luhan knows he’s in over his head when Jongin moves in. It wasn’t something they discussed - had never even been brought up before, but Jongin always makes decisions and doesn’t think twice. So when the final two suitcases filled with Jongin’s clothes are discarded on top of Luhan’s bed, he feels the bottom of his stomach drop and a flicker of panic darts across his features.
Jongin doesn’t notice.
This is an arrangement, an agreement of sorts that has them sleeping together for their mutual benefit. No emotions, no attachment and certainly no invading Luhan’s one place away from the world, but he can’t find it in himself to say no.
There’s something about Jongin’s assuredness, settling into the cracks of Luhan’s apartment like those spaces were waiting specifically for him. And when Jongin leans down and presses soft lips to his, Luhan drags him in for more, kicking the suitcases to the floor so he can celebrate this new step in their not-relationship properly. He can deal with the aftermath later.
“You wrote a book about him,” Minseok supplies and Luhan’s head falls to his desk momentarily.
“It’s not about him so much as for him,” he clarifies, although his argument is weak and Minseok is giving him a look that indicates they both know better. And they do. It makes Luhan sag in his chair and the way it squeaks is loud in the empty lecture hall.
“Maybe you’d be better off just letting him know.”
Luhan’s mouth opens and then promptly shuts, teeth clacking together. Coming to terms that he practically confessed his feelings for Jongin - feelings that he shouldn’t have - between the pages of a novel and then asked him to read it was all he had the nerve to do. When Jongin made the big move, Luhan assumed it was because of the book, but then he’d found it mostly unread and sitting on the kitchen counter this morning, a dog-eared page near the front marked as his place.
It had taken a lot for Luhan to force his eyes to pass over the familiar cover and let himself be kissed back into reality, Jongin slipping a leg between his thighs as lips descended down his neck. Jongin tasted like coffee - his coffee, a bite of bitterness soothed over with the sweetness of sugar and cream that stuck to his tongue. And because Jongin has this way of moving that completely enraptures Luhan, it was easy to lose himself in the moment, let Jongin bend himself over the kitchen table with his hands gripping the sides as Luhan fucked into him from behind.
Jongin is asleep when he gets home, dressed only in boxers and halfway hanging off the couch. Luhan had stayed late, trapped inside a musty room in the library as he worked away the hours. The way Jongin is at ease inside his apartment, how he’s fit himself into Luhan’s life even before he moved in only serves to make Luhan fall harder. His smile fades to pursed lips and a sigh, setting down his bag full of notes and papers to grade before slipping off his shoes. He’s going to be up even later and Jongin needs to be someplace that isn’t going to have him complaining about his back the next day.
Jongin is warm, both arms wrapped around Luhan from behind as Luhan walks them into the bedroom. Mostly, he thinks, Jongin is still asleep and just using him as a guide, the glide of his lips across the back of his neck almost making Luhan jump out of his skin. He holds a hand over his heart and then lets it drop to pry Jongin’s arms off so he falls on the mattress. It doesn’t end up like he planned, Luhan bouncing on the bed after Jongin manages to get him down too. He wriggles and Jongin wraps around him tighter, arms and legs locked and breath fanning across the side of Luhan’s face.
It’s quite the predicament.
The popcorn ceiling in his apartment never really bothered him before, but now it does. Shadows from the still lit living room force the raised plaster to form these creepy images he could do without and he wonders if management would let him take it down. Luhan’s head falls to the side, landing on his novel, the one Jongin is still reading and he sees a slip of paper nestled about a third of the way in.
Jongin should have some reaction by now.
He’ll ask in the morning, but for now, he carefully disentangles himself from Jongin’s clutches and slips away, closing the door behind him.
Luhan does manage to ask if Jongin is enjoying it and he gets an enthusiastic nod just before Jongin smirks and smears raspberry jam across his mouth and cheek. As Luhan gapes, Jongin flicks his tongue over his mess. It makes for another satisfying morning, managing to get all the way into the living room before Jongin rolls a condom over Luhan’s cock and then sinks down on it. There are half moons littering Jongin’s hips, courtesy of Luhan’s nails as he tried to make him pick up the pace, rock just a little faster because watching the pleasure play out on Jongin’s features has always been one of his favorite parts. (He doesn’t enjoy having to clean up, but Jongin had an early class to teach at the studio and they managed to dirty the cushion in his rush to get out the door. Luhan writes febreeze down on his grocery list before jumping in the shower.)
He doesn’t remember that Jongin hadn’t answer his question until he’s stopping mid-speech at the end of his lecture. Furrowed eyebrows give way to a frown and he waves off questions of his health when the students start asking.
“So nothing?” Minseok asks over lunch and Luhan shakes his head, picking at the bun on his sandwich. There’s a smiley face staring at him now so he stabs it with a plastic fork.
“Maybe it’s too much,” he says as he sulks. “I could have scared him and he’s just pretending to not know so our arrangement doesn’t end.”
Minseok rolls his eyes and reaches over to steal Luhan’s pickles right off his massacred sandwich. “Right, because he can’t go get laid by someone else.”
Luhan’s stomach lurches and clenches and suddenly there’s nausea climbing his throat as saliva pools in his mouth. No, he doesn’t like that idea at all.
He sees Jongin’s toothbrush next to his; it’s not the throw away one he’d gotten for him when Jongin first started staying over. No, this is an expensive toothbrush, one that’s more long lasting and suddenly Luhan’s twisting it away so he doesn’t have to stare at the firm green and blue bristles.
He keeps waiting for that moment when Jongin bounds in the room with that knowing gleam because it can’t take that long to read a book. He’s had it since before he moved in and it’s been over a week now. Even Minseok has already finished it and moved on to something else, and Minseok is a frustratingly slow reader. Luhan had nearly chewed all his nails to bloody stubs by the time he’d finished reading over the final draft.
“You’ve got it bad,” is all he’d said when he slid the flashdrive into Luhan’s pocket.
Luhan runs hands through his hair, holding it out of his face as he slumps down on the bed. There’s something he’s missing.
A small inkling of what’s really going on has Luhan sitting up straight, eyes wide and mouth open. He’s on his feet and padding into the living room on a mission, finding the book lying on the coffee table, the paper a little further along. Luhan flips open to Jongin’s place and skims. There’s no way Jongin hasn’t figured something out. Which leaves just one conclusion.
Jongin isn’t reading it at all.
Luhan tests his theory later that night just as Jongin’s coming out of the shower. There’s a towel wrapped around his waist and another draped across his shoulders to catch the water dripping from his hair and for a brief moment, Luhan’s mouth goes dry. He swallows, gathers a little courage and turns on the couch, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose.
“How are you liking the book?” he asks casually, the hint of a smile teasing the corner of his lip. He watches Jongin closely, sees the way his hand freezes enroute to the remote and his tongue swipes over his bottom lip. Both towels drop to the floor an instant later and Luhan startles a little at the brisk reaction.
Jongin pulls Luhan off the couch, carefully takes off his glasses and folds them before setting them on the coffee table. And then they’re kissing, Jongin running a nose across Luhan’s cheek before their lips meet. Jongin’s good at this game, drowning all Luhan’s inquiries with a quick suck on his tongue and hands settling on his ass to squeeze and bring him in further.
Matter over mind this time, Jongin’s mouth on his neck as he’s carried into the bedroom over the weight bogging down his heart. Luhan arches when Jongin kisses down his chest, teeth teasing a nipple and fingers stroking him into hardness. It’s so familiar a thing to stretch Jongin open with lube slick fingers and fuck him with long, steady thrusts that have them both falling apart. Jongin is pliant under him, head thrown back and hips moving with the rhythm before they both crash.
Luhan stares up at his awful ceiling as Jongin falls asleep beside him.
Luhan would be lying if he said he wasn’t taking advantage of the situation. He likes to mention the book more often just to see how flustered Jongin can get before his posture goes from guarded to sexy, eyes smoldering as he climbs over Luhan and they fuck the night away. And as great as it is (especially when Jongin had slipped under the table at dinner to blow him last night) it’s not really what Luhan wants. He can’t keep this up without knowing if Jongin feels anything real for him.
It’s been a particularly long day, all his energy drained and shoulders taut with tension. He’s hunched over when he gets home, shuffling and dropping his bag by the door with his shoes. There’s something wound tight in his chest and he’s waiting for it to pop. Luhan is down the hall and headed toward their bedroom when Jongin files in behind him, digs thumbs into the muscles on either side of his spine and it feels amazing.
“I really need to ask you something,” Luhan mumbles, finding himself falling back into Jongin’s touch.
“Anything.”
And he hadn’t realized how close Jongin’s mouth was, hot breath hitting the shell of his ear. Luhan smiles to himself and his head falls back onto Jongin’s shoulder. “You’re nearly finished with the book, yes?”
Jongin increases the pressure, massaging out a knot by Luhan’s shoulder blade despite the awkward position. “How about we get you taken care.”
Luhan wants to laugh because Jongin already has one hand sliding around his side and heading between his legs. And he’s really too tired to fight it, surrendering to Jongin like he does every other time. “Not in the hall,” Luhan manages to say before his breath hitches when Jongin’s palm pushes down pleasantly on his rapidly hardening cock.
The bed isn’t made and Luhan barely has the comforter tossed to the side before Jongin has him on his back with his pants off. It would be amusing if it weren’t for the image of Jongin naked and crawling over him, eyes dark and cock already hard. Luhan manages to get the rest of his clothes off with a little help and then Jongin is kissing the air from his lungs.
Sex with Jongin has never been a dull experience and if anything, Luhan only wants more and more which is what prompted him to start that book in the first place. As he wrote, he discovered how much deeper his feelings went and it’s all led here, to Luhan pinching the tip of the condom just before Jongin bats his hand away so he can slide down on his cock.
Luhan’s heels dig into the sheets, knees bent so he can thrust up as Jongin’s body comes down. He watches the way his cock disappears inside Jongin, how his stomach muscles clench and his head falls back to expose the long line of his neck. Jongin suddenly falls forward, bottom lip in his teeth as he bounces, speeding faster and faster as Luhan grips his waist just so he can keep up.
Toes curl in the fabric and Luhan’s thighs are aching, breathing irregular as he tries to gulp down enough air. He’d been on his last dregs of energy when he got home and now he’s scraping the bottom of the barrel, hoping to hold on as Jongin fucks himself down with those dancer’s hips of his. He manages to get a hand between their bodies, winding fingers around Jongin’s cock to pump.
Jongin clenches around him, sinks teeth into Luhan’s shoulder and it’s all over. White spills over Luhan’s stomach and Jongin rocks against him until Luhan fills the condom. Spots dance in his vision and Luhan presses a kiss on Jongin’s head. He ends up with a mouth full of hair and Jongin laughs as he pulls away.
There’s usually a towel by the bed for instances such as this and Jongin plucks it off the floor and uses it to wipe down Luhan’s stomach before taking care of the condom. Luhan watches with interest, smiles when Jongin grins at him and feels himself falling a little more. Things can’t stay like this.
Jongin flops onto the bed beside Luhan with a satisfied noise and Luhan finds himself staring at the ceiling just so he doesn’t have to see his face.
“I’m not upset that you didn’t read it,” Luhan starts and he hears Jongin’s gasp beside him. “I just wish you would have told me.”
“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” he hears Jongin admit after a brief silence.
Luhan sighs and there’s an unpleasant taste in his mouth. He sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “I guess it’s not.” He hears Jongin shifting behind him, but doesn’t pay much attention, willing himself to stand. But he’s stopped with an arm around his waist and Jongin’s chin on his shoulder. “I thought if you knew I’d written it for you, you’d be at least a little bit curious.” His laugh at the end is a little pained and Luhan winces at the sound of his own voice.
“Hey,” he whispers, thumb running circles on Luhan’s stomach. “It is a big deal and I’m sorry. I’ll read it.”
“I’m not going to force you.”
“Maybe you can tell me about it?” Jongin suggests and Luhan can feel the smile in his words. It sends a shudder down his frame.
“I wrote it because I was too much of a coward to confess how I feel about you to your face. The actual story itself was just a mechanism, unimportant.”
A soft kiss lands on Luhan’s neck and he feels the warmth of Jongin’s body behind him as he scoots closer. “And how do you feel about me?”
Luhan’s heart is pounding in his chest and he’s never been more nervous, but this is his chance and if Jongin hasn’t shoved him away yet, it has to be a good sign. “I want more,” he says, looking down at the way Jongin’s hand is still moving over his skin. “I want to call you all mine and not just for sex, even if the sex is great.”
The silence is deafening and Luhan is waiting for Jongin to get up and leave.
“I’d like that,” Jongin mumbles against his skin and Luhan finds himself taking in a long, shaky breath of relief. “I don’t move in with just anyone, you know.”
Luhan finally relaxes and he turns his head to face Jongin when he feels him nuzzling against his cheek. Their kiss is soft, sweet and Luhan brings up a hand to wipe damp bangs off his face. Jongin’s smile is blinding and they fall back onto the bed. “I’ll start reading tomorrow,” Jongin promises and Luhan believes him. But that doesn’t mean he won’t check.
Title: Between The Pages
Rating: NC17
Pairing(s)/Focus: Luhan/Jongin
Length: 2,793 words
Summary: Luhan confesses to Jongin in his latest book, but Jongin doesn't seem to be getting it.
Notes: I sincerely hope I did justice to the original.
Remixee author: michaelwesten
Title of work you remixed: Wait For A Word
Link to work you remixed: http://fridaysblues.livejournal.com/5713.html
Luhan knows he’s in over his head when Jongin moves in. It wasn’t something they discussed - had never even been brought up before, but Jongin always makes decisions and doesn’t think twice. So when the final two suitcases filled with Jongin’s clothes are discarded on top of Luhan’s bed, he feels the bottom of his stomach drop and a flicker of panic darts across his features.
Jongin doesn’t notice.
This is an arrangement, an agreement of sorts that has them sleeping together for their mutual benefit. No emotions, no attachment and certainly no invading Luhan’s one place away from the world, but he can’t find it in himself to say no.
There’s something about Jongin’s assuredness, settling into the cracks of Luhan’s apartment like those spaces were waiting specifically for him. And when Jongin leans down and presses soft lips to his, Luhan drags him in for more, kicking the suitcases to the floor so he can celebrate this new step in their not-relationship properly. He can deal with the aftermath later.
“You wrote a book about him,” Minseok supplies and Luhan’s head falls to his desk momentarily.
“It’s not about him so much as for him,” he clarifies, although his argument is weak and Minseok is giving him a look that indicates they both know better. And they do. It makes Luhan sag in his chair and the way it squeaks is loud in the empty lecture hall.
“Maybe you’d be better off just letting him know.”
Luhan’s mouth opens and then promptly shuts, teeth clacking together. Coming to terms that he practically confessed his feelings for Jongin - feelings that he shouldn’t have - between the pages of a novel and then asked him to read it was all he had the nerve to do. When Jongin made the big move, Luhan assumed it was because of the book, but then he’d found it mostly unread and sitting on the kitchen counter this morning, a dog-eared page near the front marked as his place.
It had taken a lot for Luhan to force his eyes to pass over the familiar cover and let himself be kissed back into reality, Jongin slipping a leg between his thighs as lips descended down his neck. Jongin tasted like coffee - his coffee, a bite of bitterness soothed over with the sweetness of sugar and cream that stuck to his tongue. And because Jongin has this way of moving that completely enraptures Luhan, it was easy to lose himself in the moment, let Jongin bend himself over the kitchen table with his hands gripping the sides as Luhan fucked into him from behind.
Jongin is asleep when he gets home, dressed only in boxers and halfway hanging off the couch. Luhan had stayed late, trapped inside a musty room in the library as he worked away the hours. The way Jongin is at ease inside his apartment, how he’s fit himself into Luhan’s life even before he moved in only serves to make Luhan fall harder. His smile fades to pursed lips and a sigh, setting down his bag full of notes and papers to grade before slipping off his shoes. He’s going to be up even later and Jongin needs to be someplace that isn’t going to have him complaining about his back the next day.
Jongin is warm, both arms wrapped around Luhan from behind as Luhan walks them into the bedroom. Mostly, he thinks, Jongin is still asleep and just using him as a guide, the glide of his lips across the back of his neck almost making Luhan jump out of his skin. He holds a hand over his heart and then lets it drop to pry Jongin’s arms off so he falls on the mattress. It doesn’t end up like he planned, Luhan bouncing on the bed after Jongin manages to get him down too. He wriggles and Jongin wraps around him tighter, arms and legs locked and breath fanning across the side of Luhan’s face.
It’s quite the predicament.
The popcorn ceiling in his apartment never really bothered him before, but now it does. Shadows from the still lit living room force the raised plaster to form these creepy images he could do without and he wonders if management would let him take it down. Luhan’s head falls to the side, landing on his novel, the one Jongin is still reading and he sees a slip of paper nestled about a third of the way in.
Jongin should have some reaction by now.
He’ll ask in the morning, but for now, he carefully disentangles himself from Jongin’s clutches and slips away, closing the door behind him.
Luhan does manage to ask if Jongin is enjoying it and he gets an enthusiastic nod just before Jongin smirks and smears raspberry jam across his mouth and cheek. As Luhan gapes, Jongin flicks his tongue over his mess. It makes for another satisfying morning, managing to get all the way into the living room before Jongin rolls a condom over Luhan’s cock and then sinks down on it. There are half moons littering Jongin’s hips, courtesy of Luhan’s nails as he tried to make him pick up the pace, rock just a little faster because watching the pleasure play out on Jongin’s features has always been one of his favorite parts. (He doesn’t enjoy having to clean up, but Jongin had an early class to teach at the studio and they managed to dirty the cushion in his rush to get out the door. Luhan writes febreeze down on his grocery list before jumping in the shower.)
He doesn’t remember that Jongin hadn’t answer his question until he’s stopping mid-speech at the end of his lecture. Furrowed eyebrows give way to a frown and he waves off questions of his health when the students start asking.
“So nothing?” Minseok asks over lunch and Luhan shakes his head, picking at the bun on his sandwich. There’s a smiley face staring at him now so he stabs it with a plastic fork.
“Maybe it’s too much,” he says as he sulks. “I could have scared him and he’s just pretending to not know so our arrangement doesn’t end.”
Minseok rolls his eyes and reaches over to steal Luhan’s pickles right off his massacred sandwich. “Right, because he can’t go get laid by someone else.”
Luhan’s stomach lurches and clenches and suddenly there’s nausea climbing his throat as saliva pools in his mouth. No, he doesn’t like that idea at all.
He sees Jongin’s toothbrush next to his; it’s not the throw away one he’d gotten for him when Jongin first started staying over. No, this is an expensive toothbrush, one that’s more long lasting and suddenly Luhan’s twisting it away so he doesn’t have to stare at the firm green and blue bristles.
He keeps waiting for that moment when Jongin bounds in the room with that knowing gleam because it can’t take that long to read a book. He’s had it since before he moved in and it’s been over a week now. Even Minseok has already finished it and moved on to something else, and Minseok is a frustratingly slow reader. Luhan had nearly chewed all his nails to bloody stubs by the time he’d finished reading over the final draft.
“You’ve got it bad,” is all he’d said when he slid the flashdrive into Luhan’s pocket.
Luhan runs hands through his hair, holding it out of his face as he slumps down on the bed. There’s something he’s missing.
A small inkling of what’s really going on has Luhan sitting up straight, eyes wide and mouth open. He’s on his feet and padding into the living room on a mission, finding the book lying on the coffee table, the paper a little further along. Luhan flips open to Jongin’s place and skims. There’s no way Jongin hasn’t figured something out. Which leaves just one conclusion.
Jongin isn’t reading it at all.
Luhan tests his theory later that night just as Jongin’s coming out of the shower. There’s a towel wrapped around his waist and another draped across his shoulders to catch the water dripping from his hair and for a brief moment, Luhan’s mouth goes dry. He swallows, gathers a little courage and turns on the couch, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose.
“How are you liking the book?” he asks casually, the hint of a smile teasing the corner of his lip. He watches Jongin closely, sees the way his hand freezes enroute to the remote and his tongue swipes over his bottom lip. Both towels drop to the floor an instant later and Luhan startles a little at the brisk reaction.
Jongin pulls Luhan off the couch, carefully takes off his glasses and folds them before setting them on the coffee table. And then they’re kissing, Jongin running a nose across Luhan’s cheek before their lips meet. Jongin’s good at this game, drowning all Luhan’s inquiries with a quick suck on his tongue and hands settling on his ass to squeeze and bring him in further.
Matter over mind this time, Jongin’s mouth on his neck as he’s carried into the bedroom over the weight bogging down his heart. Luhan arches when Jongin kisses down his chest, teeth teasing a nipple and fingers stroking him into hardness. It’s so familiar a thing to stretch Jongin open with lube slick fingers and fuck him with long, steady thrusts that have them both falling apart. Jongin is pliant under him, head thrown back and hips moving with the rhythm before they both crash.
Luhan stares up at his awful ceiling as Jongin falls asleep beside him.
Luhan would be lying if he said he wasn’t taking advantage of the situation. He likes to mention the book more often just to see how flustered Jongin can get before his posture goes from guarded to sexy, eyes smoldering as he climbs over Luhan and they fuck the night away. And as great as it is (especially when Jongin had slipped under the table at dinner to blow him last night) it’s not really what Luhan wants. He can’t keep this up without knowing if Jongin feels anything real for him.
It’s been a particularly long day, all his energy drained and shoulders taut with tension. He’s hunched over when he gets home, shuffling and dropping his bag by the door with his shoes. There’s something wound tight in his chest and he’s waiting for it to pop. Luhan is down the hall and headed toward their bedroom when Jongin files in behind him, digs thumbs into the muscles on either side of his spine and it feels amazing.
“I really need to ask you something,” Luhan mumbles, finding himself falling back into Jongin’s touch.
“Anything.”
And he hadn’t realized how close Jongin’s mouth was, hot breath hitting the shell of his ear. Luhan smiles to himself and his head falls back onto Jongin’s shoulder. “You’re nearly finished with the book, yes?”
Jongin increases the pressure, massaging out a knot by Luhan’s shoulder blade despite the awkward position. “How about we get you taken care.”
Luhan wants to laugh because Jongin already has one hand sliding around his side and heading between his legs. And he’s really too tired to fight it, surrendering to Jongin like he does every other time. “Not in the hall,” Luhan manages to say before his breath hitches when Jongin’s palm pushes down pleasantly on his rapidly hardening cock.
The bed isn’t made and Luhan barely has the comforter tossed to the side before Jongin has him on his back with his pants off. It would be amusing if it weren’t for the image of Jongin naked and crawling over him, eyes dark and cock already hard. Luhan manages to get the rest of his clothes off with a little help and then Jongin is kissing the air from his lungs.
Sex with Jongin has never been a dull experience and if anything, Luhan only wants more and more which is what prompted him to start that book in the first place. As he wrote, he discovered how much deeper his feelings went and it’s all led here, to Luhan pinching the tip of the condom just before Jongin bats his hand away so he can slide down on his cock.
Luhan’s heels dig into the sheets, knees bent so he can thrust up as Jongin’s body comes down. He watches the way his cock disappears inside Jongin, how his stomach muscles clench and his head falls back to expose the long line of his neck. Jongin suddenly falls forward, bottom lip in his teeth as he bounces, speeding faster and faster as Luhan grips his waist just so he can keep up.
Toes curl in the fabric and Luhan’s thighs are aching, breathing irregular as he tries to gulp down enough air. He’d been on his last dregs of energy when he got home and now he’s scraping the bottom of the barrel, hoping to hold on as Jongin fucks himself down with those dancer’s hips of his. He manages to get a hand between their bodies, winding fingers around Jongin’s cock to pump.
Jongin clenches around him, sinks teeth into Luhan’s shoulder and it’s all over. White spills over Luhan’s stomach and Jongin rocks against him until Luhan fills the condom. Spots dance in his vision and Luhan presses a kiss on Jongin’s head. He ends up with a mouth full of hair and Jongin laughs as he pulls away.
There’s usually a towel by the bed for instances such as this and Jongin plucks it off the floor and uses it to wipe down Luhan’s stomach before taking care of the condom. Luhan watches with interest, smiles when Jongin grins at him and feels himself falling a little more. Things can’t stay like this.
Jongin flops onto the bed beside Luhan with a satisfied noise and Luhan finds himself staring at the ceiling just so he doesn’t have to see his face.
“I’m not upset that you didn’t read it,” Luhan starts and he hears Jongin’s gasp beside him. “I just wish you would have told me.”
“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” he hears Jongin admit after a brief silence.
Luhan sighs and there’s an unpleasant taste in his mouth. He sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “I guess it’s not.” He hears Jongin shifting behind him, but doesn’t pay much attention, willing himself to stand. But he’s stopped with an arm around his waist and Jongin’s chin on his shoulder. “I thought if you knew I’d written it for you, you’d be at least a little bit curious.” His laugh at the end is a little pained and Luhan winces at the sound of his own voice.
“Hey,” he whispers, thumb running circles on Luhan’s stomach. “It is a big deal and I’m sorry. I’ll read it.”
“I’m not going to force you.”
“Maybe you can tell me about it?” Jongin suggests and Luhan can feel the smile in his words. It sends a shudder down his frame.
“I wrote it because I was too much of a coward to confess how I feel about you to your face. The actual story itself was just a mechanism, unimportant.”
A soft kiss lands on Luhan’s neck and he feels the warmth of Jongin’s body behind him as he scoots closer. “And how do you feel about me?”
Luhan’s heart is pounding in his chest and he’s never been more nervous, but this is his chance and if Jongin hasn’t shoved him away yet, it has to be a good sign. “I want more,” he says, looking down at the way Jongin’s hand is still moving over his skin. “I want to call you all mine and not just for sex, even if the sex is great.”
The silence is deafening and Luhan is waiting for Jongin to get up and leave.
“I’d like that,” Jongin mumbles against his skin and Luhan finds himself taking in a long, shaky breath of relief. “I don’t move in with just anyone, you know.”
Luhan finally relaxes and he turns his head to face Jongin when he feels him nuzzling against his cheek. Their kiss is soft, sweet and Luhan brings up a hand to wipe damp bangs off his face. Jongin’s smile is blinding and they fall back onto the bed. “I’ll start reading tomorrow,” Jongin promises and Luhan believes him. But that doesn’t mean he won’t check.