ashes, ashes, we all fall down
ashes, ashes, we all fall down
(dbsk/snsd) ≈2550wds; pg-13; ot3!jessica/jaejoong/changmin
changmin slid two hundred and twenty five letters under her door after she broke his heart.
■ for keepthelight (heartcall), who makes amazing graphics of these ot3!
also in hope that she would post see no devil (that may or may not be the name of that fic)
■ and special thanks to implicited who helped me get through writer's block. 나는 영원히 당신을 사랑~ ♥
■ yes, this AU! thing of mine have gone overboard. And yes, I am out of my mind so enjoy!
■ sountrack/fanmix included at the very end, just cause I'm obsess with making it now a days.
■ don't want to spoil it so won't tell you how but you can read this in a couple of ways (you will have to break it down...)
■ it took me forever to finish this, I keep deleting and editing because I wasn't sastisfied with it. Even until now, I'm not that happy with it but this is really the best I could do.
10 AFTER
They can’t stop killing.
The feeling of slicing through young flesh, blood dirtying their hands, gun tricker being pulled and bullet buried deep in helpless strangers’ skull. The thrill of it all, it was something that Kim Jaejoong and co. can’t resist.
“What do we do now?”
He doesn’t look at Jessica’s pale lips nor does he look at Jaejoong’s gleaming eyes when he throws the bag of lifeless bodies over the bridge.
“Dump them”
They don’t watch the bag sinks into the river.
They get on the same old van, drive off and don’t ever look back.
1 BEFORE
One night in the freezing winter; Jaejoong and Changmin were too high from the stolen joints to
speak without hiccupping in laughter between words while discussing the delusional dreams of their future once they get out of this hell hole known as the Seoul’s mental hospital.
It was until one single, small knock could be heard from the other side of the door that they no longer find it in themselves to laugh.
The two boys exchanged a look of panic when the second knock occurred. Jaejoong hurriedly removed the joints from their lips, throwing it on the wooden floor and stamping on it roughly.
“What are you doing?” Changmin hissed when the older boy pulled the sheet off them and marched towards the door.
“What do you think?” Jaejoong said smugly. “Inviting our guests in, of couse.”
Jaejoong hand grasped the knob and before Changmin could say another word to stop him, the door flung open in one quick motion.
Just a patient, a blonde girl in her teen with her back pressed against the wall.
“About time,” The unfamiliar stranger rolled her eyes as she pushed pass them. “I almost thought no one was ever going to come get the door.”
They watched, appalled as the blonde dropped on Changmin’s bed, glancing around the room with furrowed brows.
“Do you know her?” Changmin whispered to Jaejoong, his eyes locked on the unknown girl on his bed.
“No,” Jaejoong answered and reached for the packet of cigarette on the night stand. “That doesn't mean we can't enjoy her company”
11 AFTER
It’s too much of a risk to keep heading down the road tonight. They stop behind the bushes, camping out somewhere no one would ever find them. If luck is on their side, they might be able to take off by tomorrow early morning.
Changmin and Jessica sit beside each other, watching the fire crackles and burns the evidence of their wrong doing to ashes.
“Do you think it’s alright, Changmin? To be afraid, that is”
“Yes”
“Then is it - is it alright to be afraid of someone?” she pauses, her glassy eyes meeting his. “To be afraid of someone you love?”
Her voice was almost inaudible to the ears, as if she was ashamed to say it, “I’m afraid of Jaejoong”
Changmin holds her hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly, reminding her of broken promises they couldn’t keep.
“I’m afraid too,” he stops feeding her lie. “Every seconds of every day - I’m afraid he will kill you.”
02 BEFORE
Jaejoong discovered later on that Jessica did not belong here, just like how Changmin and he did not.
They were not out of their mind nor were they crazy nor were they dangerous, just misunderstood.
He had a fascination for flames so he unintentionally, burned mother’s pet cat alive. His parents feared him and shipped him off as far as possible with a hope that he would never return. Changmin pulled the trigger on his older brother just as he was about to kill his little sister and so the court deemed him mentally disturbed. And there was Jessica, beautiful, blonde bombshell with her perfect, one million dollar smile.
Plunged a knife into her parents’ heart.
“Why?” He asked her one night when Changmin’s asleep in his own bed and she’s curled up in his.
“Because they didn’t love me.”
Possibly, the only thing that was wrong with Jessica was her fear of being unwanted.
13 AFTER
“Jaejoong,” she manages to muster up the courage to say. “Jae”
He’s observing the shining bullet between his finger, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles on her thighs and a cigarette between his lips.
“What?”
“Do you still love me?”
“Why do you ask all o -“
“Just answer the question,” Jessica pleads in desperation as he loads up the gun with a satisfied smirk.
“Please?”
“How many times do we have to go through this, Jessica?” Jaejoong let out a sigh of frustration, placing the newly purchased gun down on the leather seat, giving her his full attention. “I love you, always have and always will.”
He shoots a husband of two young children later that afternoon; the poor man didn’t even get the chance to scream for help. Jessica closes her eyes and grips onto Changmin’s arm, hoping and praying it was only a night mare.
She looks at Jaejoong and all she sees is her dead lover.
03 BEFORE
She showed up with beer cans hidden in her coats, putting on a poker face when walking passed the nurses, her arms crossed across her chest and her head held up high.
“You look ridiculous,” Changmin whispered, holding in his laughter as soon as the door to her room shut closed.
“I’m the one that carried the alcohol, so shut up.”
And they laughed then they talk and then they’re drunk.
The process of it all was too fast. As a younger boy, Jaejoong and he had done all kind of illegal activities. Cigarette, joints, drugs, they’ve done it all but never once have Changmin drunk this much that he’d lost the ability to stand.
“Hey, Changmin” She called when the night welcomed them, her head shifting on his shoulder as she
nudged him lightly with her elbow.
“What?”
“I think I’m falling for Jaejoong.”
He heard something shattered (was it his heart?)
“And I think I’m falling for you, Jessica.”
AFTER14
Jaejoong’s obsession with blood and flesh stops. Only for a week but somewhat of an eternity of peace to them.
They’re sitting in the van, Jessica with her icy pole and Changmin with his newspaper. She tells him she thinks everything will return to normal now. It will be just the three of them on the road and nothing else.
That glimpse of hope doesn’t last long enough for him to believe in.
The door slides open, wind hitting them in the face along with the unfortunate reality. A young blonde in her early teen this time with few uncanny resemblances to Jessica, Changmin feels sick after one glance.
Jaejoong flashes them a triumphant smile as he , “Still alive, just a bit drugged up.”
“Need to go check for dumping locations, I’ll be back in an hour or two.”
When Jaejoong kisses her goodbye, Changmin wonders if he catches the single tear sliding down her cheek.
04 BEFORE
Jessica rushed into the room one summer afternoon, huffing and puffing as she held onto the door frame for support.
“He killed him,” she says finally and Changmin felt his heart dropped. “Jae - he beat him up, I begged him to stop but he woul -“
There was no time for the story, he only grabbed her arms and let her lead the way.
By the time they got there, Jaejoong was slumped on the ground, rocking back and forth with his bloodied hand wrapped around his knees.
The bastard strike her in the face a week ago for some idiotic reason, even for a bully and now he was declared dead, lifeless, heart not beating.
She blames herself, he could see it in her glassy eyes.
It wasn't her fault, she needed to understand because the blood was on Jaejoong’s hand.
“This is all my fa -“
“Don’t” Changmin whispered dangerously low, his eyes avoiding Jaejoong’s bloodshot ones when he pulled her back, knowing the consequence if he let her go any closer. “I need you to trust me and walk away.”
They left Jaejoong there that day.
Jessica kicked and screamed as he dragged her away from the love of her life, out of the room, out the hospital’s door and out of Jaejoong’s touch.
Changmin could only save one of them, Jessica from Jaejoong and Jaejoong from himself.
He chose her, the one person that ever meant something to them.
15 AFTER
“I - I’ll get the duct tape off, okay?” Jessica’s having a panic attack, her hand buries in the girl’s curl as she tries to comfort. “B - but you will ne - need to be a good girl for me and not scream - not run, o - okay?”
“Jess,” He calls softly, resting his hand on her shoulder. “If you do this, he will kill us a -“
“Okay? Ca - can you promise me and this nice man here?”
The girl nod frantically, her eyes pleading for help and Jessica smiles back kindly, peeling the tape covering her mouth. Wrapping her arms around the younger girl immediately, muffling her soft cry with her hand.
It didn’t matter, Changmin realizes.
They’re already dead, inside and out.
05 BEFORE
His first kiss was with Jessica. She was fifteen and he was eighteen, they were young and very foolish. It was no longer only attraction, Jaejoong decided and held her tight against him, never wanting to let her go.
“I love you” he said to Jessica after five minutes of kisses and embraces.
She leaned against his shoulder and whispered into the silence, “I know, I think know since the day I came knocking on your door.”
16 AFTER
“Let’s run”
“What?”
His eyes darken as his hand brushes her cheeks. So young, so beautiful, such a mess. He could save her, if she lets him.
“You and me, we starts the car and leave this all behind. Just us, no more killing, no more blood, no more guilt.”
In the aftermath of the stun silence, he reaches over to press his lips on hers. She tasted like his childhood in his mouth and he regrets not doing this before, it was only the first time and possibly the last time.
“I can’t -“
“Don’t bother,” he snarled. “It’s always going to be Jaejoong, isn’t it?”
06 BEFORE
Changmin slid two hundred and twenty five letters under her door after she broke his heart. She threw them all in the trash cans without even bothering to read any.
He finally caught her sitting in the garden after two weeks of avoiding him, he grabbed her before she could run like she always does.
“I will always be here for you,” she tells him honestly. “But it’s Jaejoong, it’s always going to be Jaejoong.”
Changmin lets her go, just like that and she wondered if it was so wrong to love both of them.
17 AFTER
Three days passes and the girl was still alive, Jessica prays Jaejoong would stop the abuse and kill her soon.
Bruises, cuts, dried blood, it would be less painful to kill her now than to try keep her alive.
“Changmin,” She whispered, barely loud enough for even his keen hearing to pick, shaking him awake. “I let
her go, the girl - she’s gone.”
“What?”
“Leave with me, just us.”
At this point, Jessica knew she would have to break Changmin’s heart again.
07 BEFORE
It had occurred to Jaejoong that they were never going to get out of here.
They were bound to spend the rest of their lives as freaks, someone the society will never accept or respect.
He couldn’t live with that.
“Let me out of here”
It had been almost six years and a second more is unacceptable. A stolen kitchen knife pressed to the back of the doctor was a pleasurable feeling, to be in control, getting to watch blood ran cold, fear washed over his face, trembling lips as the man give him useless explanations of why he couldn’t let him walk.
When he killed his first victim, he thinks of Jessica and her kisses.
18 AFTER
They lasted two days out in the woods before Jaejoong found them.
“You betrayed me! For what? A wortlhless fifteen fucking years old bitch?” He ground out his voice beginning to waver, faltering and failing her as he grabbed Changmin by the collar.
“And you?” his eyes soften, looking like a lost child when he sees Jessica. “You said you love me.”
“Love is not enough, Jaejoong.”
Her hand reached for the deadly object discreetly hidden in her back pocket and he wishes it could have been different, three of them alive by the end of this.
“I’m sorry, I do really love you.” she whispered quickly her weak voice filling the space between them with her sadness as she pointed the gun at Jaejoong’s chest, right where his heart lays.
“But yo - you don’t love me”
An earthshattering ‘bang’ and the monster within had taken Kim Jaejoong along to its death.
08 BEFORE
The fact: Jaejoong goes into the darkness and they followed blindly, unable to let him go.
He killed someone.
They killed someone.
19 AFTER
Jessica doesn’t cry when she watch Jaejoong bleeds to death.
She stands still in the same spot, staring down at the love of her life emotionlessly with the very pistol that killed him gripped tightly in her hand.
“Have I ever told you….” She half sobs, half laughs with a relief that shakes her to the core, the adrenaline still coursing through her veins as she mutters. “T - that I love him.”
“Yes”
“Then you would know that I would do anything,” Jessica says painfully before she forces herself back to reality, to look at his lifeless body. “Anything, that’s how much I love Kim Jaejoong, dead or alive, good or bad.”
In a flash, barrel against to her head, her finger already on the trigger.
And somehow Changmin knew. Knows exactly what this meant, she was saying goodbye too.
He asks a question, he already knows the answer to. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I don’t think I have ever said those three words to you before, you should know by now already.”
“Don’t you da -“
“I love you”
It’s always been Jaejoong and after all this time it’s still Jaejoong.
After all, he’s still here and they’re both gone.
Until the very end, Jessica chose him.
09 BEFORE
They burned down the hospital.
There was no any other way, Jaejoong’s unfortunate faith became theirs once they help him get rid of Doctor Lee’s body. He promised them a new start, a future in life, a career if lucky and happiness if fortunate enough.
They made a vow, a small cut on the palm, blood dripping as they held hand and made their vow to be
together forever.
Kill or be killed, that was the only rule to surviving.
20 AFTER
Kim Jaejoong
May 29, 2010
A friend and beloved, boyfriend
Jung Jessica
May 29, 2010
A friend and beloved, girl friend
Shim Changmin
May 30, 2010
(1) SKINNY LOVE
CHANGMIN > JESSICA
in the morning I'll be with you
but it will be a different "kind"
i'll be holding all the tickets
and you'll be owning all the fines (birdy)
(2) BLOODSTREAM
JESSICA X CHANGMIN x JAEJOONG
i think I might have inhaled you
i could feel you behind my eyes
you've gotten into my bloodstream
i could feel you floating in me (stateless)
(3) SATELLITE HEART
JESSICA > JAEJOONG & CHANGMIN
i'm a satellite heart
lost in the dark
i'm spun out so far
you stop, I start
but I'll be true to you (anya marina)
(4) ASHES AND WINE
JESSICA > CHANGMIN
don't know if our fate's already sealed
this days are spinning circus on a wheel
and I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
coffee laced intoxicating on her lips (a fine frenzy)
(5) I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK
JESSICA X CHANGMIN X JAEJOONG
love of mine some day you will die
but I'll be close behind
i'll follow you into the dark (death cab for cutie)
(6) ZEPHYRUS
JAEJOONG > JESSICA
and your face is still wet from the night before
as your tears hit the ground blue flowers spring from them
baby, I'm ashamed of the things I put you through
baby, I'm ashamed of the man I was for you (bloc party)
(7) LOVE IS A SUICIDE
JESSICA > JAEJOONG
you like the smell of blood
when it’s pumpin’ like a factory
ooh, you like your words to cut (natalia kills)
(8) RUNAWAY
CHANGMIN > JESSICA & JAEJOONG
no sense of time
i'd like you to stay,
want keep you inside (the yeah yeah yeahs)
DOWNLOAD
8 songs/ 49.69 MB / mediafire
(dbsk/snsd) ≈2550wds; pg-13; ot3!jessica/jaejoong/changmin
changmin slid two hundred and twenty five letters under her door after she broke his heart.
■ for keepthelight (heartcall), who makes amazing graphics of these ot3!
also in hope that she would post see no devil (that may or may not be the name of that fic)
■ and special thanks to implicited who helped me get through writer's block. 나는 영원히 당신을 사랑~ ♥
■ yes, this AU! thing of mine have gone overboard. And yes, I am out of my mind so enjoy!
■ sountrack/fanmix included at the very end, just cause I'm obsess with making it now a days.
■ don't want to spoil it so won't tell you how but you can read this in a couple of ways (you will have to break it down...)
■ it took me forever to finish this, I keep deleting and editing because I wasn't sastisfied with it. Even until now, I'm not that happy with it but this is really the best I could do.
10 AFTER
They can’t stop killing.
The feeling of slicing through young flesh, blood dirtying their hands, gun tricker being pulled and bullet buried deep in helpless strangers’ skull. The thrill of it all, it was something that Kim Jaejoong and co. can’t resist.
“What do we do now?”
He doesn’t look at Jessica’s pale lips nor does he look at Jaejoong’s gleaming eyes when he throws the bag of lifeless bodies over the bridge.
“Dump them”
They don’t watch the bag sinks into the river.
They get on the same old van, drive off and don’t ever look back.
1 BEFORE
One night in the freezing winter; Jaejoong and Changmin were too high from the stolen joints to
speak without hiccupping in laughter between words while discussing the delusional dreams of their future once they get out of this hell hole known as the Seoul’s mental hospital.
It was until one single, small knock could be heard from the other side of the door that they no longer find it in themselves to laugh.
The two boys exchanged a look of panic when the second knock occurred. Jaejoong hurriedly removed the joints from their lips, throwing it on the wooden floor and stamping on it roughly.
“What are you doing?” Changmin hissed when the older boy pulled the sheet off them and marched towards the door.
“What do you think?” Jaejoong said smugly. “Inviting our guests in, of couse.”
Jaejoong hand grasped the knob and before Changmin could say another word to stop him, the door flung open in one quick motion.
Just a patient, a blonde girl in her teen with her back pressed against the wall.
“About time,” The unfamiliar stranger rolled her eyes as she pushed pass them. “I almost thought no one was ever going to come get the door.”
They watched, appalled as the blonde dropped on Changmin’s bed, glancing around the room with furrowed brows.
“Do you know her?” Changmin whispered to Jaejoong, his eyes locked on the unknown girl on his bed.
“No,” Jaejoong answered and reached for the packet of cigarette on the night stand. “That doesn't mean we can't enjoy her company”
11 AFTER
It’s too much of a risk to keep heading down the road tonight. They stop behind the bushes, camping out somewhere no one would ever find them. If luck is on their side, they might be able to take off by tomorrow early morning.
Changmin and Jessica sit beside each other, watching the fire crackles and burns the evidence of their wrong doing to ashes.
“Do you think it’s alright, Changmin? To be afraid, that is”
“Yes”
“Then is it - is it alright to be afraid of someone?” she pauses, her glassy eyes meeting his. “To be afraid of someone you love?”
Her voice was almost inaudible to the ears, as if she was ashamed to say it, “I’m afraid of Jaejoong”
Changmin holds her hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly, reminding her of broken promises they couldn’t keep.
“I’m afraid too,” he stops feeding her lie. “Every seconds of every day - I’m afraid he will kill you.”
02 BEFORE
Jaejoong discovered later on that Jessica did not belong here, just like how Changmin and he did not.
They were not out of their mind nor were they crazy nor were they dangerous, just misunderstood.
He had a fascination for flames so he unintentionally, burned mother’s pet cat alive. His parents feared him and shipped him off as far as possible with a hope that he would never return. Changmin pulled the trigger on his older brother just as he was about to kill his little sister and so the court deemed him mentally disturbed. And there was Jessica, beautiful, blonde bombshell with her perfect, one million dollar smile.
Plunged a knife into her parents’ heart.
“Why?” He asked her one night when Changmin’s asleep in his own bed and she’s curled up in his.
“Because they didn’t love me.”
Possibly, the only thing that was wrong with Jessica was her fear of being unwanted.
13 AFTER
“Jaejoong,” she manages to muster up the courage to say. “Jae”
He’s observing the shining bullet between his finger, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles on her thighs and a cigarette between his lips.
“What?”
“Do you still love me?”
“Why do you ask all o -“
“Just answer the question,” Jessica pleads in desperation as he loads up the gun with a satisfied smirk.
“Please?”
“How many times do we have to go through this, Jessica?” Jaejoong let out a sigh of frustration, placing the newly purchased gun down on the leather seat, giving her his full attention. “I love you, always have and always will.”
He shoots a husband of two young children later that afternoon; the poor man didn’t even get the chance to scream for help. Jessica closes her eyes and grips onto Changmin’s arm, hoping and praying it was only a night mare.
She looks at Jaejoong and all she sees is her dead lover.
03 BEFORE
She showed up with beer cans hidden in her coats, putting on a poker face when walking passed the nurses, her arms crossed across her chest and her head held up high.
“You look ridiculous,” Changmin whispered, holding in his laughter as soon as the door to her room shut closed.
“I’m the one that carried the alcohol, so shut up.”
And they laughed then they talk and then they’re drunk.
The process of it all was too fast. As a younger boy, Jaejoong and he had done all kind of illegal activities. Cigarette, joints, drugs, they’ve done it all but never once have Changmin drunk this much that he’d lost the ability to stand.
“Hey, Changmin” She called when the night welcomed them, her head shifting on his shoulder as she
nudged him lightly with her elbow.
“What?”
“I think I’m falling for Jaejoong.”
He heard something shattered (was it his heart?)
“And I think I’m falling for you, Jessica.”
AFTER14
Jaejoong’s obsession with blood and flesh stops. Only for a week but somewhat of an eternity of peace to them.
They’re sitting in the van, Jessica with her icy pole and Changmin with his newspaper. She tells him she thinks everything will return to normal now. It will be just the three of them on the road and nothing else.
That glimpse of hope doesn’t last long enough for him to believe in.
The door slides open, wind hitting them in the face along with the unfortunate reality. A young blonde in her early teen this time with few uncanny resemblances to Jessica, Changmin feels sick after one glance.
Jaejoong flashes them a triumphant smile as he , “Still alive, just a bit drugged up.”
“Need to go check for dumping locations, I’ll be back in an hour or two.”
When Jaejoong kisses her goodbye, Changmin wonders if he catches the single tear sliding down her cheek.
04 BEFORE
Jessica rushed into the room one summer afternoon, huffing and puffing as she held onto the door frame for support.
“He killed him,” she says finally and Changmin felt his heart dropped. “Jae - he beat him up, I begged him to stop but he woul -“
There was no time for the story, he only grabbed her arms and let her lead the way.
By the time they got there, Jaejoong was slumped on the ground, rocking back and forth with his bloodied hand wrapped around his knees.
The bastard strike her in the face a week ago for some idiotic reason, even for a bully and now he was declared dead, lifeless, heart not beating.
She blames herself, he could see it in her glassy eyes.
It wasn't her fault, she needed to understand because the blood was on Jaejoong’s hand.
“This is all my fa -“
“Don’t” Changmin whispered dangerously low, his eyes avoiding Jaejoong’s bloodshot ones when he pulled her back, knowing the consequence if he let her go any closer. “I need you to trust me and walk away.”
They left Jaejoong there that day.
Jessica kicked and screamed as he dragged her away from the love of her life, out of the room, out the hospital’s door and out of Jaejoong’s touch.
Changmin could only save one of them, Jessica from Jaejoong and Jaejoong from himself.
He chose her, the one person that ever meant something to them.
15 AFTER
“I - I’ll get the duct tape off, okay?” Jessica’s having a panic attack, her hand buries in the girl’s curl as she tries to comfort. “B - but you will ne - need to be a good girl for me and not scream - not run, o - okay?”
“Jess,” He calls softly, resting his hand on her shoulder. “If you do this, he will kill us a -“
“Okay? Ca - can you promise me and this nice man here?”
The girl nod frantically, her eyes pleading for help and Jessica smiles back kindly, peeling the tape covering her mouth. Wrapping her arms around the younger girl immediately, muffling her soft cry with her hand.
It didn’t matter, Changmin realizes.
They’re already dead, inside and out.
05 BEFORE
His first kiss was with Jessica. She was fifteen and he was eighteen, they were young and very foolish. It was no longer only attraction, Jaejoong decided and held her tight against him, never wanting to let her go.
“I love you” he said to Jessica after five minutes of kisses and embraces.
She leaned against his shoulder and whispered into the silence, “I know, I think know since the day I came knocking on your door.”
16 AFTER
“Let’s run”
“What?”
His eyes darken as his hand brushes her cheeks. So young, so beautiful, such a mess. He could save her, if she lets him.
“You and me, we starts the car and leave this all behind. Just us, no more killing, no more blood, no more guilt.”
In the aftermath of the stun silence, he reaches over to press his lips on hers. She tasted like his childhood in his mouth and he regrets not doing this before, it was only the first time and possibly the last time.
“I can’t -“
“Don’t bother,” he snarled. “It’s always going to be Jaejoong, isn’t it?”
06 BEFORE
Changmin slid two hundred and twenty five letters under her door after she broke his heart. She threw them all in the trash cans without even bothering to read any.
He finally caught her sitting in the garden after two weeks of avoiding him, he grabbed her before she could run like she always does.
“I will always be here for you,” she tells him honestly. “But it’s Jaejoong, it’s always going to be Jaejoong.”
Changmin lets her go, just like that and she wondered if it was so wrong to love both of them.
17 AFTER
Three days passes and the girl was still alive, Jessica prays Jaejoong would stop the abuse and kill her soon.
Bruises, cuts, dried blood, it would be less painful to kill her now than to try keep her alive.
“Changmin,” She whispered, barely loud enough for even his keen hearing to pick, shaking him awake. “I let
her go, the girl - she’s gone.”
“What?”
“Leave with me, just us.”
At this point, Jessica knew she would have to break Changmin’s heart again.
07 BEFORE
It had occurred to Jaejoong that they were never going to get out of here.
They were bound to spend the rest of their lives as freaks, someone the society will never accept or respect.
He couldn’t live with that.
“Let me out of here”
It had been almost six years and a second more is unacceptable. A stolen kitchen knife pressed to the back of the doctor was a pleasurable feeling, to be in control, getting to watch blood ran cold, fear washed over his face, trembling lips as the man give him useless explanations of why he couldn’t let him walk.
When he killed his first victim, he thinks of Jessica and her kisses.
18 AFTER
They lasted two days out in the woods before Jaejoong found them.
“You betrayed me! For what? A wortlhless fifteen fucking years old bitch?” He ground out his voice beginning to waver, faltering and failing her as he grabbed Changmin by the collar.
“And you?” his eyes soften, looking like a lost child when he sees Jessica. “You said you love me.”
“Love is not enough, Jaejoong.”
Her hand reached for the deadly object discreetly hidden in her back pocket and he wishes it could have been different, three of them alive by the end of this.
“I’m sorry, I do really love you.” she whispered quickly her weak voice filling the space between them with her sadness as she pointed the gun at Jaejoong’s chest, right where his heart lays.
“But yo - you don’t love me”
An earthshattering ‘bang’ and the monster within had taken Kim Jaejoong along to its death.
08 BEFORE
The fact: Jaejoong goes into the darkness and they followed blindly, unable to let him go.
He killed someone.
They killed someone.
19 AFTER
Jessica doesn’t cry when she watch Jaejoong bleeds to death.
She stands still in the same spot, staring down at the love of her life emotionlessly with the very pistol that killed him gripped tightly in her hand.
“Have I ever told you….” She half sobs, half laughs with a relief that shakes her to the core, the adrenaline still coursing through her veins as she mutters. “T - that I love him.”
“Yes”
“Then you would know that I would do anything,” Jessica says painfully before she forces herself back to reality, to look at his lifeless body. “Anything, that’s how much I love Kim Jaejoong, dead or alive, good or bad.”
In a flash, barrel against to her head, her finger already on the trigger.
And somehow Changmin knew. Knows exactly what this meant, she was saying goodbye too.
He asks a question, he already knows the answer to. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I don’t think I have ever said those three words to you before, you should know by now already.”
“Don’t you da -“
“I love you”
It’s always been Jaejoong and after all this time it’s still Jaejoong.
After all, he’s still here and they’re both gone.
Until the very end, Jessica chose him.
09 BEFORE
They burned down the hospital.
There was no any other way, Jaejoong’s unfortunate faith became theirs once they help him get rid of Doctor Lee’s body. He promised them a new start, a future in life, a career if lucky and happiness if fortunate enough.
They made a vow, a small cut on the palm, blood dripping as they held hand and made their vow to be
together forever.
Kill or be killed, that was the only rule to surviving.
20 AFTER
Kim Jaejoong
May 29, 2010
A friend and beloved, boyfriend
Jung Jessica
May 29, 2010
A friend and beloved, girl friend
Shim Changmin
May 30, 2010
(1) SKINNY LOVE
CHANGMIN > JESSICA
in the morning I'll be with you
but it will be a different "kind"
i'll be holding all the tickets
and you'll be owning all the fines (birdy)
(2) BLOODSTREAM
JESSICA X CHANGMIN x JAEJOONG
i think I might have inhaled you
i could feel you behind my eyes
you've gotten into my bloodstream
i could feel you floating in me (stateless)
(3) SATELLITE HEART
JESSICA > JAEJOONG & CHANGMIN
i'm a satellite heart
lost in the dark
i'm spun out so far
you stop, I start
but I'll be true to you (anya marina)
(4) ASHES AND WINE
JESSICA > CHANGMIN
don't know if our fate's already sealed
this days are spinning circus on a wheel
and I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
coffee laced intoxicating on her lips (a fine frenzy)
(5) I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK
JESSICA X CHANGMIN X JAEJOONG
love of mine some day you will die
but I'll be close behind
i'll follow you into the dark (death cab for cutie)
(6) ZEPHYRUS
JAEJOONG > JESSICA
and your face is still wet from the night before
as your tears hit the ground blue flowers spring from them
baby, I'm ashamed of the things I put you through
baby, I'm ashamed of the man I was for you (bloc party)
(7) LOVE IS A SUICIDE
JESSICA > JAEJOONG
you like the smell of blood
when it’s pumpin’ like a factory
ooh, you like your words to cut (natalia kills)
(8) RUNAWAY
CHANGMIN > JESSICA & JAEJOONG
no sense of time
i'd like you to stay,
want keep you inside (the yeah yeah yeahs)
DOWNLOAD
8 songs/ 49.69 MB / mediafire