off the hinges, twinleaf oneshot

[kouriko]

It's 4 AM and I can't sleep.

It's... a long story. But technically I'm trapped in my dorm at the moment, with a dead cell phone. My cell phone is, sadly, my alarm clock. xD I left my charger at home and sure as hell don't feel up for a late-night driving adventure extreme. So I can't go to sleep tonight. :| I need to wake up in 4 hours, anyway, so

Comments

[caddyeverafter7]

Awe, this was so cute :) I love when you write Jun/Hikari because you always seem to capture their characters so well. Fantastic job. <3

[kouriko]

Thank you! ♥

[pkleos]

Jun x Hikari is love! ♥

My cellphone is also dead. And sadly is also my alarm clock XDD oh god lol. But Idk what's wrong with it =w=

Also, staying up like in REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LATE, has happened to me too XD, and when I need to get up around 7am 'cause of work, and yeah... I just die there. But at the end of the week(like now) I just go home, and stay on the bed the whole day! \o/

[kouriko]

They've become my favorite over the past year or so. Haha. I don't know why, but I just love them. ♥

Doesn't it suck!? I rely on my phone for almost everything now, and just fall apart without it in the morning!

I still haven't slept since... staying on the bed the whole day sounds incredibly appealing. xD

[pkleos]

OMG! you need to sleep now XD

And, yeah, gotta send my cellphone to get some in-checking, maybe there's something about the keyboard, but may need to buy the piece and stuff. :\ I may get it repaired by 60$, which is not cool XD, I'd rather buy a new one, than repairing that one... but dunno.

Staying in bed the whole day is enough appealing to me :>

[chrysa]

uwah this is cute Q__Q I really liked your use of onomatopoeia and the repetition of certain sounds. It gave it this a very organic, grassy kind of feel.

I particularly loved the imagery in this line: It’s tiny, with nothing but houses and snow-coated shoreline. There’s a lot of empty space, filled only with memories. It's very gorgeous, and very very vHe opened it and closed again and again and now it’s tilted. ivid.

“If you love me like you said, you’ll find me.”
>:C JUN. Love should not be conditional.

Just a few things I saw:
He opened it and closed again and again and now it’s tilted.
*He'd opened it; past tense in present tense writing is needs the had to modify the verb, unless if it's like... very repetitive.

She wonders if he’ll ever give it a fresh coat of paint like she is to his banged-up wall.
I... am confused by this line for some reason. @_@

Also: IF YOU WRITE ANY MORE JUNKARI FOR POKEPROMPTS, YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME THAT JUNKARI GIRL OKAY.

[kouriko]

Thank you. ;----; I was worried that all the noises would be really distracting, but I'm glad you liked it!

Normally my writing gets too filled with big words, so I was aiming for really... simple imagery this time. Or I tried to, anyway. I'm relieved you found it vivid, because with my writing it's either too simple or too... pompous. xD ;--;

Thanks for catching those! I'll edit that later.

AND MAYBE I WANT TO BE THE JUNKARI GIRL, OKAY.

;------------------------------; I-I ♥ them.

[chrysa]

...i just realized i accidentally pasted a random quote in the middle of a sentence. i can't even care anymore. *sigh*

[kouriko]

xD I skipped around it and figured out what you said. It's all good.