Forgive Me
Title : Forgive Me
Rating: PG-13
Summary: As an angel Castiel isn't used to apologising. It shows.
Warnings: Spoilers for s7.
Author's Notes: This was totally born from a need to get myself into the Sassy mind fame once more. I feel like I'm falling slowly out of love with Supernatural a little bit, which is killing me, so I'm trying to make things right again...Team Free Will forever!
“I don’t…” Castiel turned his gaze upon the floor, wide eyes searching for the right words. “I cannot begin to apologise enough.”
“Look…” Sam squirmed; thumb tracing the faded scar on his hand without even realising. “You don’t have to worry about it. I’ve been there, remember? You did what you thought was right at the time man. I know what that’s like. I’m the last person you need to apologise to.”
Eyes swivelled back up to meet his, narrowed in disbelief.
“You cannot be serious.” Castiel straightened his back, chin jutting outward. “Sam, I broke the wall. I knew the consequences, but I was blinded by my own foolish ignorance and pride. What happened to you, with the hallucinations and the torment was entirely my fault. I can only hope you will someday forgive me.”
“Cas. There’s nothing to forgive.”
Castiel stared for a moment, body going completely rigid. Suddenly his hand slammed against the wall over Sam’s shoulder, body pressing the taller man into it. Sam flinched back, hands scrabbling against the wall for some purchase.
(“Will you, boy?”)
“You must…” Castiel tilted his head upwards, stubble grazing against Sam’s cheek. Breath caressed his ear as the angel whispered, the heavy rhythm matching the pounding pulse in Sam’s throat.
(“Don’t ask stupid questions.”)
“You must forgive me.” Castiel murmured, voice wrecked. Sam’s hands moved away from the wall, hovering uncertainly at the other man’s sides. He turned his head slightly and froze, startled at how close to Castiel’s face he found himself when the tip of his nose brushed Castiel’s cheekbone. “Please.”
“You’re-“ Sam’s breath hitched as Castiel’s gaze dropped to his moving lips automatically. “I forgive you.”
Castiel’s eyes slammed shut, all the breath in his body leaving him in one shaky exhale against Sam’s mouth. Sam jerked back at the sensation, head smacking dizzyingly on the wall. He blinked away the pain and black spots in his vision to come back to the feel of a hand sliding onto his shoulder, upwards to cup his neck. He clenched a hand around Castiel’s arm before it went too far, ignoring the clenching in his stomach.
“You should probably talk to Dean.” Sam commanded, but somewhere in the air between them the words turned weak and pleading.
“…Of course.” After a moment Castiel took a step backwards, and the oxygen swept back into the room. “Thank you.”
Sam tried to avoid Cas’ hurt eyes and tugged at his shirt nervously.
“No problem, man.”
A few seconds of silence passed as they looked anywhere but at each other.
“I should be going to Dean. To talk.”
“Yeah. I’ll stay out of your way for a while.”
Castiel paused awkwardly, then turned to leave the room in a swirl of trench coat. Sam reached out impulsively and found himself with a thumb and forefinger encircling one of Castiel’s wrists.
“Cas.”
The angel looked back over his shoulder, first at where their hands met before nervously meeting Sam’s eyes. Suddenly breathless and thoughtless he found himself without words and he floundered clumsily before settling on a jerky, graceless nod. Castiel tilted his head and bestowed a small, rare smile before slipping out of the room.
Sam gazed down at his trembling hands and sighed.