Check (One-shot)
Title: Check
Chapters: n/a
Author: konicoffee
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story.
Warnings: Mentions of attempted suicide.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Saga/Shou, mention of Kenzo (Ayabie)/Shou
Synopsis: Saga and Shou play a little game of chess.
Comments: Requested by roku_kitty whose Alice Nine fics are like freshly baked cookies - hot, sweet, yummy, kinda sticky sometimes, and incredibly satisfying. This fic was a lot more intellectual and clever when I was imagining it, but alas, I'm not intellectual. Yay! But it is my first Alice Nine fic, and it really is about time that I write one. So I hope you like it anyways!
From behind a large glass window, I watched the sun set in a field of clouds on a gradient sky. The buildings outside bathed in the sunset’s soft light. So melancholy, the world looked, yet oddly warm and comforting. From a distance I could see stretches of roads with power lines draped over them. Seeing this often made me want to go out for a long drive. To escape.
“Your turn, Shou.”
I crash landed back into reality at the sound of a man’s voice. My eyes slid toward Saga, who sat on the other side of the coffee table in my apartment’s living room. The sunset outlined his figure in white, making him stand out in the room that had now been painted with velvet shadows. I glanced at the coffee table between us and the chess board on top of it. He chuckled as I checked if he switched any of the chess pieces while I wasn’t looking. Convinced that everything was still in its place, save for the bishop he just moved, I touched one of the white pieces.
I placed a bishop one square forward to evade the rook he revealed. “We have dress rehearsal tomorrow, don’t we?”
“Don’t we always have one before a live?” Saga retorted as he moved a black pawn forward, attacking one of my knights. “I thought you’d be used to it by now.”
“To rehearsals with you guys, yes,” I replied, placing that knight a few steps back, taking it out of harm’s way. “But rehearsals for a live with his band, that’s a different story.”
I looked out the window once more. The sun sinking in a cradle of clouds did nothing to soothe the feeling of what seemed like a crack in my heart. He and I always watched sunsets like this. His hand would be in mine. But those days have ended, and I knew they wouldn’t come back.
“Shou,” said the bassist, moving a black knight to attack my white queen. “You and Kenzo broke up six months ago.”
I sighed. The time that passed since Kenzo and I ended our relationship felt much longer than six months, but the scars from that day made me feel like it had been only moments ago. It still felt strange that he would no longer walk into my apartment, and then march into my room to shake me out of sleep. I still half-expected to find his clothes in my closet. Thoughts of Ayabie’s drummer raced in my head as I stared at the white bishop that Saga’s rook would crush if I took out the knight that was chasing my queen. The best option was to get the queen out of the way. But not without fighting back.
I placed my queen one square to the left. Now my queen was attacking his knight. “Why are we performing with Ayabie anyway?”
Saga didn’t let his knight run away. Instead, he placed another black knight to protect the threatened chess piece and attack two of my pawns. I wasn’t sure which was more unexpected; his chess move, or the haunting gaze my eyes met.
“Why can’t you get over him, Shou?” He asked me in that deep, kind voice of his. I said nothing as I nervously moved a knight back toward me. I needed him there to strengthen my defenses. He moved his queen one step to my right, getting it ready to attack. His eyes were still fixed on me.
I averted his gaze and stared at the chess board, pretending to contemplate on my next move. I nervously placed a knight on E3, bracing myself for Saga’s invasion. “Don’t answer with a question.”
He breathed a sigh as he moved one of his rooks behind his queen. “Shou.” That drugging gaze of his never left me. “What else can I do to console you?”
Waves of guilt hit me as I locked my eyes onto Saga. The setting sun drew highlights on the bassist’s beautiful face. The light emphasized his features. It accented his apparent sadness.
Saga had always been there for me. He had been there for me, always supporting me, even before I met Kenzo. And when I was with that man, he still supported me. He went as far as filling in for me when I was scheduled to record tracks for backup vocals but couldn’t because I was out of town with Ayabie’s drummer. And at the lowest point of my life, Saga was right by my side. He brought me home when I tried to drown my sorrow in copious amounts of alcohol. He wrestled the blade out of my hand when I attempted to cut myself. And when I tried to poison myself, he rushed me to the hospital and stayed with me the entire time.
The entire time.
And that’s when I remembered why I hooked up with Kenzo in the first place. I was in love with someone else; another guy. But I was afraid of what might happen if I admitted my feelings for him. I was afraid of ruining the band whose success we and our band mates worked so hard for. I was afraid of ruining our friendship. That friendship I held so dear. And because of that fear, I tried falling in love with another person. And I did love him, but I ended up getting more hurt than I care to admit.
But the person I really loved was probably hurt too. Maybe much more than I was.
“Saga.” I moved my bishop backward. I had to let it escape. I had to run away.
“I would do anything,” the bassist said, lifting a black knight off the board. “I would give anything.” My eyes widened as he took one of my pawns with his knight, placing it right beside my king. “Anything, Shou, to make you happy.”
I felt my heart cracking as I took the knight out with my king. A black rook crushed one of my knights in return. “Why couldn’t you see that?” he asked me in a tender, yet sad tone. I avoided his stare as I took that rook out with my bishop. The clicking sound of a chess piece knocking against another resounded in the room as Saga eliminated one of my pawns with another knight. Check.
I couldn’t look at him. Not when tears were pouring out of my eyes. “Sorry,” I choked. “I’m so sorry.”
None of my chess pieces could protect my king. I moved the king forward, taking it out of the knight’s way. I couldn’t escape him for long as Saga moved his knight again. Check. I cursed under my breath as I moved my king, yet again unable to find a chess piece that could protect it. And every move I made, Saga would chase me. I had eventually taken his queen, but every move he made still resulted in a check.
He always did chase me. And I always ran away.
“Do you finally realize it now?”
“Yeah,” I replied as more tears ran down my cheeks. I moved my king away from his bishop’s path, yet again attempting to escape him.
He moved a pawn forward. Check. “Look at me, Shou,” he said.
But I still couldn’t look at him. I moved my king toward him and took out the pawn that threatened me. “Not when I’m still the wreck Kenzo made me, Saga,” I said, my voice shaking. “You deserve better than me at my worst.”
He moved his rook back, toward my king. “If I have to be the rebound guy,” he whispered, his fingers now gently stroking my face. “That's fine. I’ll take what I can get.”
I finally looked at him. I watched him lean closer and knock over some chess pieces as his face moved closer to mine. There was no way we could continue our game, but it didn’t matter. I had no more moves to make, and I could no longer run away.
Checkmate.
He captured me.
Chapters: n/a
Author: konicoffee
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story.
Warnings: Mentions of attempted suicide.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Saga/Shou, mention of Kenzo (Ayabie)/Shou
Synopsis: Saga and Shou play a little game of chess.
Comments: Requested by roku_kitty whose Alice Nine fics are like freshly baked cookies - hot, sweet, yummy, kinda sticky sometimes, and incredibly satisfying. This fic was a lot more intellectual and clever when I was imagining it, but alas, I'm not intellectual. Yay! But it is my first Alice Nine fic, and it really is about time that I write one. So I hope you like it anyways!
From behind a large glass window, I watched the sun set in a field of clouds on a gradient sky. The buildings outside bathed in the sunset’s soft light. So melancholy, the world looked, yet oddly warm and comforting. From a distance I could see stretches of roads with power lines draped over them. Seeing this often made me want to go out for a long drive. To escape.
“Your turn, Shou.”
I crash landed back into reality at the sound of a man’s voice. My eyes slid toward Saga, who sat on the other side of the coffee table in my apartment’s living room. The sunset outlined his figure in white, making him stand out in the room that had now been painted with velvet shadows. I glanced at the coffee table between us and the chess board on top of it. He chuckled as I checked if he switched any of the chess pieces while I wasn’t looking. Convinced that everything was still in its place, save for the bishop he just moved, I touched one of the white pieces.
I placed a bishop one square forward to evade the rook he revealed. “We have dress rehearsal tomorrow, don’t we?”
“Don’t we always have one before a live?” Saga retorted as he moved a black pawn forward, attacking one of my knights. “I thought you’d be used to it by now.”
“To rehearsals with you guys, yes,” I replied, placing that knight a few steps back, taking it out of harm’s way. “But rehearsals for a live with his band, that’s a different story.”
I looked out the window once more. The sun sinking in a cradle of clouds did nothing to soothe the feeling of what seemed like a crack in my heart. He and I always watched sunsets like this. His hand would be in mine. But those days have ended, and I knew they wouldn’t come back.
“Shou,” said the bassist, moving a black knight to attack my white queen. “You and Kenzo broke up six months ago.”
I sighed. The time that passed since Kenzo and I ended our relationship felt much longer than six months, but the scars from that day made me feel like it had been only moments ago. It still felt strange that he would no longer walk into my apartment, and then march into my room to shake me out of sleep. I still half-expected to find his clothes in my closet. Thoughts of Ayabie’s drummer raced in my head as I stared at the white bishop that Saga’s rook would crush if I took out the knight that was chasing my queen. The best option was to get the queen out of the way. But not without fighting back.
I placed my queen one square to the left. Now my queen was attacking his knight. “Why are we performing with Ayabie anyway?”
Saga didn’t let his knight run away. Instead, he placed another black knight to protect the threatened chess piece and attack two of my pawns. I wasn’t sure which was more unexpected; his chess move, or the haunting gaze my eyes met.
“Why can’t you get over him, Shou?” He asked me in that deep, kind voice of his. I said nothing as I nervously moved a knight back toward me. I needed him there to strengthen my defenses. He moved his queen one step to my right, getting it ready to attack. His eyes were still fixed on me.
I averted his gaze and stared at the chess board, pretending to contemplate on my next move. I nervously placed a knight on E3, bracing myself for Saga’s invasion. “Don’t answer with a question.”
He breathed a sigh as he moved one of his rooks behind his queen. “Shou.” That drugging gaze of his never left me. “What else can I do to console you?”
Waves of guilt hit me as I locked my eyes onto Saga. The setting sun drew highlights on the bassist’s beautiful face. The light emphasized his features. It accented his apparent sadness.
Saga had always been there for me. He had been there for me, always supporting me, even before I met Kenzo. And when I was with that man, he still supported me. He went as far as filling in for me when I was scheduled to record tracks for backup vocals but couldn’t because I was out of town with Ayabie’s drummer. And at the lowest point of my life, Saga was right by my side. He brought me home when I tried to drown my sorrow in copious amounts of alcohol. He wrestled the blade out of my hand when I attempted to cut myself. And when I tried to poison myself, he rushed me to the hospital and stayed with me the entire time.
The entire time.
And that’s when I remembered why I hooked up with Kenzo in the first place. I was in love with someone else; another guy. But I was afraid of what might happen if I admitted my feelings for him. I was afraid of ruining the band whose success we and our band mates worked so hard for. I was afraid of ruining our friendship. That friendship I held so dear. And because of that fear, I tried falling in love with another person. And I did love him, but I ended up getting more hurt than I care to admit.
But the person I really loved was probably hurt too. Maybe much more than I was.
“Saga.” I moved my bishop backward. I had to let it escape. I had to run away.
“I would do anything,” the bassist said, lifting a black knight off the board. “I would give anything.” My eyes widened as he took one of my pawns with his knight, placing it right beside my king. “Anything, Shou, to make you happy.”
I felt my heart cracking as I took the knight out with my king. A black rook crushed one of my knights in return. “Why couldn’t you see that?” he asked me in a tender, yet sad tone. I avoided his stare as I took that rook out with my bishop. The clicking sound of a chess piece knocking against another resounded in the room as Saga eliminated one of my pawns with another knight. Check.
I couldn’t look at him. Not when tears were pouring out of my eyes. “Sorry,” I choked. “I’m so sorry.”
None of my chess pieces could protect my king. I moved the king forward, taking it out of the knight’s way. I couldn’t escape him for long as Saga moved his knight again. Check. I cursed under my breath as I moved my king, yet again unable to find a chess piece that could protect it. And every move I made, Saga would chase me. I had eventually taken his queen, but every move he made still resulted in a check.
He always did chase me. And I always ran away.
“Do you finally realize it now?”
“Yeah,” I replied as more tears ran down my cheeks. I moved my king away from his bishop’s path, yet again attempting to escape him.
He moved a pawn forward. Check. “Look at me, Shou,” he said.
But I still couldn’t look at him. I moved my king toward him and took out the pawn that threatened me. “Not when I’m still the wreck Kenzo made me, Saga,” I said, my voice shaking. “You deserve better than me at my worst.”
He moved his rook back, toward my king. “If I have to be the rebound guy,” he whispered, his fingers now gently stroking my face. “That's fine. I’ll take what I can get.”
I finally looked at him. I watched him lean closer and knock over some chess pieces as his face moved closer to mine. There was no way we could continue our game, but it didn’t matter. I had no more moves to make, and I could no longer run away.
Checkmate.
He captured me.