Primeval Fic - Christmas Escapades - Secret Santa for Telperion15
Title: Christmas Escapades
Author: knitekat
Word Count: 8036
Characters: James Lester, Danny Quinn… and others (see the end for the list)
Rating: 15
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N 1: For Telperion15’s Secret Santa and her prompts: i. "Do you have any feelings about goose instead of turkey?" ii. Unusual Christmas traditions iii. "What on earth made you think this was a good idea?" and iv. Father Christmas is real and he lives on the other side of an anomaly. I didn’t get them all in, and some are potentially more miss than hit.
A/N 2: idk what this is, but I hope you enjoy it.
A/N 3: Thanks go to the ever wonderful Fred for beta-duties. Any remaining mistakes are mine, especially as I added to it.
I felt the wind buffeting us and I certainly didn’t like the look of the clouds we were heading towards, grey and heavy with snow. I would have turned around, except I’d given my word we - I - would do this… task, and I preferred not to break that promise. Especially…
A movement beside me gained my attention and I turned towards the ever-irritating Quinn, enquiring, “Is there a problem?”
“You had a migraine, guv.”
“It’s better.” I paused as I considered my immediate answer, almost surprised that my migraine had indeed receded to a faint niggle and I made a mental note to obtain the headache cure recipe from our host.
“Is it?” Quinn sounded concerned and for a moment I thought he might care for me as more than just as his boss, that he might… but then he continued, “You’ve been driving for hours. How about you take a break and let me take over?”
“I think not.” The disaster Quinn would no doubt cause didn’t bear thinking about.
“Guv...”
The almost whine in that word had me rolling my eye. “Acting like a child, Quinn.”
“I’m not,” Quinn almost snapped before wincing, possibly realising just how childlike he’d sounded, before he made another attempt. “Aren’t you tired?”
“Somewhat,” I reluctantly admitted, but then I’d be a fool to deny it considering the circumstances.
“Then…”
I cut him off with a somewhat harsh, “Quinn, for the last time, no!”
“It was an accident.”
“An accident? You drove through a bloody anomaly!”
“The car skidded, guv.”
Quinn sounded defensive, and I might, reluctantly, have to agree with his protestation of innocence, but that didn’t stop me adding, “You’re lucky that Nick is in a forgiving mood.”
***
Several hours earlier
I winced when someone turned up the volume of the banal Christmas songs echoing around the atrium and wondered if I’d made the correct decision in taking the Christmas Eve shift. But then, I had nothing to rush home for, not this year. Although my wife - ex-wife - might have enjoyed the lifestyle my position provided, she hadn’t appreciated the late nights and missed family events.
My thoughts turned to past Christmas Eves, to the building anticipation in my children as the clock ticked closer to midnight and Father Christmas began his journey…
I shook my head, that was in the past and I had to deal with the present. Even if I was tired, cranky and desperately needed to see my children, even if it led to another argument when I turned up at my ex-wife’s. Instead, I was left to deal with the fallout of yet another anomaly, the antics of Quinn and Becker, and one angry professor.
I gave a bone-weary sigh when my phone chose that exact minute to ring, the caller’s identify clear and I winced when the minister proceeded to bellow down the phone. I could still hear every word he uttered a good six inches from my ear, as he demanded answers now, if not last week, for the current debacle
My head had started to ache within five minutes, after forty, I could feel the familiar tension and knew I was heading for a migraine. I made the correct responses or non-responses to each demand as I searched my desk drawer for painkillers. I dry swallowed the tablets, even though I knew they wouldn’t subdue it for long, just long enough that I wouldn’t verbally spew the words I was thinking about the inadequate man. I had no wish to be removed from the ARC, even less to be replaced by someone as transparent in her plans as Christine Johnson, even if they were opaque to the minister.
I rubbed my temples when the minister finally rang off and considered whether I could face the somewhat curled sandwiches I hadn’t managed to eat for lunch. My stomach roiled at even the thought of food and I knew better than to drink any coffee.
A knock on my door had me blinking blurrily up at my visitor, mentally cursing when I found Quinn leaning against the jamb. Before I could gather my wits to say anything, Quinn spoke, his voice unexpectedly soft. “You’ve got a headache.”
I was about to award Quinn a prize for stating the blindingly obvious when I winced as pain stabbed through my brain.
“Scratch that, it’s a bloody migraine, isn’t it.” He didn’t wait for an answer before he continued, “You need to rest, guv. Now, you could bunk down here, or I can drive you home.”
“I’m perfectly capable…” I broke off as a red-hot needle seared through my brain.
“No, you’re not.”
“Why the sudden concern for my welfare, Quinn?” I demanded, knowing it couldn’t be because… ah. “What have you done now?”
“Nothing, guv.” Quinn tried his most innocent look with me, not that I believe it for a second. “I’m… that is… I… er… I just don’t want you to wrap your pride and joy around a tree on the way home.” Quinn paused for a moment, clearly rethinking whatever he’d been about to say, before adding, “I saw too much of that as a copper.”
I sighed, of course Quinn only saw me as his boss, although, why would he see me as anything else? I was a cold-hearted civil servant, and no one saw past that facade. I shook my head at my self-pity and realised Quinn had taken that as a refusal when he added, “Please, James, get someone to drive you home.”
Before I could think of a suitable response to his use of my given name, a vicious stab of pain lanced through my temples and I winced, possibly even greying from the look of concern on Quinn’s face. “That’s it, James. You’re going home. I’ll find ...”
“No!”
“Guv?”
“Don’t disturb anyone who’s actually working, Quinn. You can drive me.”
“Thank you.” Quinn not only sounded relieved, he helped me stand up and put my jacket on, before guiding me into the passenger seat of an ARC car… and the only thought running through my mind was ‘Thank fuck it wasn’t his motorcycle”.
Thankfully, Quinn was silent as he drove, presumably in deference to my bludgeoning migraine. I was almost nodding off when Quinn clearly decided he needed company. “So, guv… you got any plans for Christmas?”
I wondered for a moment if he was fishing, if he could possibly be interested in me, before I dismissed it as Quinn not being able to remain quiet for long. “A leisurely lie-in followed by plentiful helpings of turkey and all the trimmings, chased down by brandy.”
“Sounds nice,” Quinn said, sounding wistful, and making me wonder once again if… no, Quinn wasn't, couldn’t be interested in me. “And watching your children open their presents?”
“My children will be opening their presents,” I agreed before hesitating and seeing Quinn shoot a look at me, one that me wondering if… I almost snorted at my self-deception and shook my head to scatter some rather lovely thoughts before they had an unfortunate effect upon me. Unfortunately, that set my head thudding painfully.
“Guv?” Quinn sounded concerned, and I didn’t need that, not with my wayward thoughts.
“Keep your eyes on the road, Quinn,” I ordered, before relenting slightly at his expression. “I apologise, Mr Quinn.”
“Danny,” he interjected.
“Mr Quinn,” I repeated firmly. “I’m afraid I am not good company tonight.”
“And excited kids won’t help.”
“No, but then…” Quinn shot me a glance as my words trailed off and I could see the curiosity forming. Having little wish to be the subject of gossip, I sighed again. “They’ll be spending it with my… my ex, Quinn.”
Quinn’s eyebrow rose and he glanced towards me once more just as something darted out in front of us, dragging an urgent “Look out!” from me. Quinn reacted by wrenching the wheel sideways. Not the most sensible action in this weather and I assume Quinn agreed from the muttered cursing I could hear before I realised the car was sliding sideways. “Quinn!”
“I know. Hold on, things could get a little lively.” Quinn pressed lightly on the accelerator and steered into the skid, a manoeuvrer which appeared to be working until a bloody anomaly opened right in front of us, and I knew we couldn’t stop in time. Even as Quinn instinctively pressed the brakes and we spun sickeningly. I swallowed several times as my empty stomach roiled and then I felt a thud as we hit something.
We sat still in stunned silence for several seconds, long enough for me to realised that the lack of lighting meant we’d gone through the anomaly, even worse, that it had closed behind us.
*snort*
The loud sound startled me and I demanded, “What the hell did you hit?”
I managed to clamber from the car, grateful it wasn’t mine, and glanced around. I rubbed my eyes and looked around again. Well, wherever we were, it was clearly still Christmas. At least, I assumed so from the sleigh lying on its side, along with several presents scattered this way and that.
A loud groan from the wrecked sleigh had me slogging through the shin deep snow, mentally consigning my shoes to the bin, before I stopped and felt Quinn collide with my back. I stared at the red-clad, white haired and bearded man sitting in the damaged sleigh, rubbing his head as he muttered, “I think we took that corner too fast there, Blitzen.”
***
We followed the man - Nick - and being followed by a small herd of reindeer, we made it to his abode. And things didn’t improve when the door opened and we quickly found ourselves in the middle of an argument.
A rather short man - was that pointed ears sticking out from under his hat? - had stood on a chair and was waving his arms for attention. As the room quietened, he gave a loud sigh. “There is no other option, we’ll have to cancel.” At the cries of distress and disbelief from the crowd of equally short men and women, also with pointed ears, the man raised his arms again. “Look, I know it’s not ideal and the children will miss out, but, what else can we do?”
“Kids?” Quinn asked, his eyes fixed on the red-nosed reindeer that was peering rather intently at him. Not that I could blame him for the beast certainly appeared to be floating an inch or so above the ground.
“Well, yes,” a second man said. “Without Nick, the presents won’t be delivered and the children will go without this year.” He sighed and shook his head. “They’ll think they were bad this year when they weren’t.”
“And what exactly does this task involve?” I asked, still half-hoping this was merely a charity supporting an orphanage or hospital. Of course, the reindeer chose that moment to shove its glowing red nose in my face before floating on its back in mid-air. “Is that…” I trailed off, even with all I’d seen, a red-nosed floating reindeer was, well, unusual and… well, it couldn’t possibly mean… could it?
“Yes, that’s Rudolph. I see he’s been on the eggnog again.”
“He’s floating,” Quinn murmured and I was thankful I wasn’t the only one having trouble believing what I was seeing.
“Flying,” Nick corrected, stroking his white beard before sighing. “Alas, there will be no flying tonight for either of us.”
I wasn’t convinced this, whatever this was, was real - although I had never hallucinated due to a migraine before - but… on the other hand, if it was real … I glanced around at Nick, at the wobbly, floating Rudolph and the disappointed crowd of … well, elves, I supposed, and I made my decision. “How can we help?”
“Help?” one of the elves, their spokeself, I supposed, said, puffing up in anger.
“Now, now, Bushy, it was an accident. Ice and the portal were simply in the wrong place.”
My eyebrows rose. “You use the anomalies - the portals - to travel?”
“How did you think my dear Nicholas travels around the entire world in a single night?” a somewhat short yet formidable-looking woman asked as she stepped around the group of elves. “Oh, my. Dear me, what’s happened here?”
“It was an accident,” Quinn protested once more.
“Hah!” Bushy cried.
“I will admit Quinn is a pain and a bit of a maverick, er ...Bushy,” I said, ignoring Quinn’s indigent glare. “But he isn’t malignant. The car hit an icy patch, invisible in the dark, and spun out of control and through the anomaly. It was just bad timing that the sleigh was there and we… collided.”
“Of course it was, my dear James,” Nick agreed, dispensing a look at Bushy that made the elf grumble but give a short nod of agreement.
“Excellent,” Nick declared before turning towards the woman. “Ah, how rude of me. Jessica, my dearest, these are guests of ours, James and Daniel.” Nick took a step towards her and winced as he put weight on his leg.
“Dear me,” Jessica muttered before hurrying forward to help Nick to a nearby chair. “This won’t do, this won’t do at all. What of the children?”
Nick wrapped her in a hug before beaming at me and I wondered just what I’d volunteered myself and Quinn for. “James here has offered to help.”
Jessica looked at me before removing her spectacles, cleaning them and looking again. “Ah, James Peregrine Lester, I remember you.”
“You do?” I couldn’t help asking.
“Oh yes. Let me think. Yes, a drum set in 1979,” Jessica continued and I caught Quinn’s raised eyebrows. “And a guitar a few years later...”
“What about me?” Quinn almost cut her off.
“Hmm,” Jessica considered him, somewhat like a bug beneath a lens. “As I recall, a Daniel Brendan Quinn was often on the naughty list. I believe several lumps of coal were delivered to you and… yes, to you.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me,” I murmured, before my migraine chose that moment to remind me of its presence.
“Are you all right?” Jessica asked, concern clear in her voice as she took a step towards me.
Before I could reply, Quinn grabbed my arm and guided me to another chair. “Migraine,” he informed our hosts.
“Nasty things,” Jessica agreed, squeezing Nick’s shoulder. “My dear Nick gets them this time of year too and we have the perfect cure.” She raised her voice and called out, “Sugarplum!”
A female voice called back, “Yes?”
“Can you bring a batch of Headache Remover Number…” Jessica considered me for a moment before continuing, “Seven, please.”
“Seven?” Sugarplum queried as she hurried in, a large amber bottle in her hands. “That’s not… Oh, who are you?” she asked as she noticed Quinn and myself.
“They’re our new friends, James and Daniel,” Nick informed Sugarplum as she headed towards him. “Oh, that’s not for me, oh no. It’s for James.”
“Only half a cup, Sugarplum,” Jessica added. “James and Daniel are going to be helping us this year.”
“Oh, that’s lovely,” Sugarplum cried as she quickly measured out half a cup and handed it to me. “You must have been especially good this year to get to help us out.”
Bushy snorted before muttering in a rather loud voice, “They crashed into the new sleigh and hurt Nick.”
“What!” Sugarplum cried.
“And we’re cancelling Christmas,” Bushy added.
“No we’re not,” Nick declared. “Alabaster, Shinny, Wunorse, prepare my old sleigh. Pepper, Sugarplum, please introduce James and Daniel to the reindeer.”
“Reindeer!” Quinn hissed at me.
I just raised an eyebrow at him even if, truthfully, I might not have thought things through when I had volunteered but… well, if Nick meant what I thought he mean, it was the logical answer. In a world where reindeer flew, and anomalies spewed forth creatures from other times. I saw no choice but to see where my, admittedly somewhat reckless, promise led. “Please lead on, Pepper and Sugarplum.” I rose and frowned, my hand going to my temples.
“Guv?” Quinn was at my side in an instance. “Sit down before you fall down.”
“I’m fine, Quinn,” I informed him. “I actually feel wonderful.” And I did, whatever was in Headache Remover Number Seven had miraculously cured my migraine, it was just a pity this would be the only time I had it. Not something to dwell upon at the moment, and I drew myself up to my full height, shook Quinn’s hand from my arm and turned towards the indicated elves. “If you could lead the way, Pepper and Sugarplum.”
Pepper nodded and linked arms with Sugarplum. “This way.”
“Although we need to stop off in the kitchen.”
“We do?” I asked, curious as to the detour.
“Of course.” Pepper nodded vigorously. “We need carrots!”
“Won’t they get carrots tonight?” Quinn asked, reddening slightly at my quirked eyebrow. “Kids put carrots out for them,” he added somewhat defensively.
I nodded and turned my attention back to Pepper and Sugarplum. “Quinn is correct; my children…” I stumbled over those words for a moment before rallying. “My children always put carrots out for the reindeer and a mince pie for Santa.”
Jessica exchanged a glance with Nick before dragging me into a hug. I admit I allowed her to, well, it was manners after all. I finally cleared my throat and she stepped back after squeezing my arm. I ignored Quinn’s confused and curious expression as I straightened my tie.
“The carrots don’t go far between eight,” Jessica informed me before pausing at Rudolph’s sigh. “I’m sorry, Ruddy, but you know you can’t drink and fly.” She turned back to us. “The reindeer use up a lot of energy, even with the portals.”
I nodded. “Well, time travel would certainly answer the question of how all the presents are delivered in one night.”
“Precisely.”
Nick frowned at me as he said that, and I almost cursed when I recalled we’d already had this conversation. I met his gaze before glancing at the cup of Headache Remover, and then, before he could ask about my health, I clapped my hands together. “Excellent. Now, it there anything else before we meet the reindeer?”
Nick looked troubled, and for a moment I thought he’d question if I was sure I was up to this… escapade. Then he glanced again at the cup and gave me an almost imperceptible nod, obviously knowing how effective the cure was.
“Is there a problem?” Quinn asked, glancing between us, and I cursed his perceptiveness.
Before I could say anything, Nick looked slightly guilty and shrugged. “I was just thinking about how much I was looking forward to a bowl or two of Risengrod.”
“I’m sorry?” I said over Quinn’s ‘What?’
“Risengrod?” At my nod, Nick continued, “It’s rice pudding with cinnamon. It gets left out for me in Denmark.”
“Oh God!” Quinn murmured and I felt the same as the enormity of what we were about to do struck. We were going to deliver presents to the entire world!
“Do you need to sit down?” Jessica asked. “It is a bit of a shock, isn’t it?”
“Just a bit,” I murmured.
“Well, fortify yourself with some of the drinks - not too many as we don’t drink and fly - and the food on offer,” Nick advised.
I nodded and glanced at the elves, before frowning. “I doubt we’d manage to eat or drink everything, does anyone have any requests?”
Several sets of eyes lit up and everyone began to talk at once.
“Oi!” Quinn proved his lung power with that yell. “One at a time,” he bellowed as he dug out a notebook and pen. “OK, er, Nick do you want anything else?”
“As I said, a bowl or two of Risengrod would be excellent, and maybe some chocolate madeleine biscuits. They’re from France.”
Quinn nodded. “OK. Jessica?”
“Oh my,” Jessica paused for a moment. “Nick would love a glass or three of milk, too.”
“There’s nothing wrong with milk,” I declared, indeed, I found it refreshed the palate.
“Precisely,” Jessica agreed. “For myself, could I trouble you for a glass of sherry - usually the English provide that - and some mince pies or, well, I am rather partial to a slice or two of Chilean sponge - it is filled with fruit, ginger and honey. You should definitely try some, it’s delicious.”
“We will,” Quinn said as he looked around. “Next?”
“Er…” Sugarplum said, glancing around at the others, before continuing. “Could I have some of the Australian fruitcake and maybe a bowl of Risengrod as well?”
“Nothing to drink?” Quinn enquired.
“Well… I am quite fond of a pint of Guinness.”
Pepper grinned before saying, “Well, I just love the Piparkukan, they’re spiced gingerbread cookies from Latvia. Oh… and if you can, a drop of whisky.”
“I’m Alabaster,” a white-haired elf said as he sketched a bow. “Could I have a few clementines from Italy, and a Piparkukan or two as well? Oh, and um… I am partial to the coffee they provide in Sweden.”
Quinn nodded as he continued to scribble his notes.
“Shinny or I,” one of the younger-looking elves began, “oh, I’m Wunorse, by the way, well, we’d quite like the Icelandic Laufabradad, that’s leaf bread and it is very tasty.” Shinny nudged Wunorse, who added, “Oh, and some milk please.”
“OK,” Quinn said before looking at the so far silent Bushy, pen at the ready for his request.
Bushy looked around at all the smiling faces and his sombre expression faded. “If it isn’t too much trouble, could I have the mince pies or the fruitcake and, maybe a brandy or two?”
“Excellent, is that everyone?” Quinn asked before wincing as Rudolph nudged him. “Oh, yeah. Carrots?” Rudolph nodded and nuzzled Quinn.
“Not to put a dampener on proceedings, but how do we transport the food and drink back in one piece?” I asked before pausing and adding, when I recalled the size of the sleigh, “Or carry all the presents?”
Nick smiled. “Excellent questions, my dear James. Pepper, if you could bring the food sack…” When Pepper dashed off to do so, he continued, “If you put the food and drink in the food sack, it will reappear here. As for the presents, they’ll be checked and restocked while you’ll flying, so you have the correct presents for each child
“More portals?” I queried, before deciding I probably didn’t want to know the answer.
“Of course,” Nick declared. “How else could I carry enough presents? Now, away with you to meet the reindeer.”
“Yes.” Pepper suddenly appeared at my elbow and tugged me along. “Bushy will get annoyed if we tarry. Sugarplum!”
“Coming!” Sugarplum cried out and grabbed my other arm.
“Do come along, Quinn,” I cried as I was guided from the room.
“Right behind you, guv,” Quinn replied.
***
I eyed the eight reindeer, as Rudolph was grounded, and looked at Pepper and Sugarplum. “Any tips?” I asked, somewhat helplessly.
“Well,” Pepper replied slowly, clearly thinking through the options. “Blitzen here,” Pepper nodded to a particularly large reindeer. “Likes to lead, if he can get away with it.” Blitzen looked me in the eye and pawed the snow as he snorted, as Pepper continued, “And Dancer kicks if you get behind ‘im.”
“Unfortunate incident with a St. Bernard,” Sugarplum confided.
“Donner loves carrots and will scoff the lot if you don’t keep your eyes open,” Pepper continued, pointing out a reindeer hiding at the back, who gave me a ‘Who me? Not me, guv’ look I recognised from Quinn.
“Oi!” Quinn cried out as he was shoved from behind and into a pile of snow by one of the reindeer. I raised an eyebrow at the innocent-looking reindeer, innocent-looking until it broke into, I assume, the reindeer equivalent of laughter.
“Oh, yes,” Sugarplum said, hands on hips. “And that’s Prancer.”
“I see,” I murmured, wondering just what I’d let myself in for. “Any other suggestions?”
“A firm hand,” Pepper advised in a serious voice.
“Shouldn’t be a problem for you, guv,” Quinn quipped from the snowdrift before lobbing a snowball at Prancer, who dodged.
“Children!” I didn’t bellow, but my voice carried and had both miscreants freezing and looking at me. “If you’ve quite finished?” I waited for a heartbeat as they looked at each other before I continued, “If I can remind you, we have a large number of presents to deliver and…” I trailed off as I realised something and turned to the elves. “And neither Quinn or I know the way.” I turned my full attention to Blitzen. “Now, do you want to help, or do you want to let all the childlike down?” Blitzen tilted his head slightly, before nodding. “Excellent.” Although I had the definite feeling Blizten would be leading, and Quinn and I would merely be along for the ride. Not that I cared, not as long as the presents were delivered… including to my own children.
My musings were soon proven correct when Blizten nudged all the other reindeer into position and then looked at me expectantly. “Right, let’s get going… Oh, Quinn, do stop playing in the snow.”
***
The sleigh thumped onto the first roof, and I could only hope no one below was still awake... or had been woken. Although none of the reindeer seemed concerned; indeed, Donnor just looked impatient for us to start… probably eager for any carrots we found. I rose on slightly shaky legs and clambered out onto the roof.
“Be careful, guv,” Quinn cried out as he grabbed me when my shoes slipped and I ended up clutching the sleigh in a white-knuckled grip. I forced my fingers to relax and reached out for the thankfully light present sack with one hand and, holding the harness with the other, I slowly edged forward.
“Maybe I should do this?” Quinn declared as he took the present sack from me and walked off without waiting for my reply. I soon heard him cry out and leaned against Blitzen, shaking my head and heard Blitzen’s agreeing snort. “Minions, hmm, Blitzen.” I can’t say I was surprised when Blitzen nodded in agreement and we strolled forward together to see what mess Quinn had got himself into now.
The sight that met our eyes brought Blitzen and I to a halt, and I sighed deeply. I eyed Quinn’s legs sticking out of the chimney and asked, remarkably calmly I felt, “What on earth made you think this was a good idea?”
“Nick does it all the time,” Quinn said, his muffled and somewhat indignant voice echoing back.
I heard and ignored a definite sniggering snort from behind me as I said, “Two points, Mr Quinn.” I settled into the lecturing position that N… the professor favoured, usually when trying to get his point across to me. “One, it is one night a year.”
“This night!” Quinn protested.
“And two,” I continued as if he hadn’t interrupted. “We have this.”
“What?”
Quinn’s voice reminded me that he could hardly see in his current position, and now was not the time to think about how good he looked with his arse in the air. I shook my head and those thoughts from my mind, gave myself a stern talking to and reminded myself why we were here. “This… I have no idea what it is called, but Pepper showed it to me. It opens short range anomalies… portals from the roof to the Christmas tree.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Quinn groused.
“Because I didn’t think, although God knows why, that you’d dive head-first down a bloody chimney.” I said as I moved around and gave myself another stern talking to as I noted his arse really did look rather splendid. I took a deep breath, ignored the mutterings of the reindeer behind me and the sudden thought they had a book on whether Quinn and I were - or would be - together, and took a firm grip on Quinn’s hips. I paused, forced down my arousal, and then pulled. After some time - which did little good for my composure - he finally slithered out of the chimney like a cork from a bottle. I ended up sitting down on the roof with a painful bump, a squirming Quinn in my lap. I groaned at the sensation before pushing Quinn off before his actions led to a rather unfortunate reaction. Besides, the roof tiles were cold, and my arse hurt.
“No need for that, guv.” Quinn pouted at me before offering a hand to pull me up. He frowned at my wince. “Headache?”
“No, I landed on my coccyx.”
“Oh, ouch!” Quinn’s concern died then as he asked. “Do you want me to drive?”
“The answer is still no.” I rubbed my sore arse before nodding to the toys the sack had produced. “Grab those and we’ll deliver them. Hopefully, no one was woken up by all your antics.”
Thankfully not only did the short-range portal opener work and deposit us safe and sound beside the Christmas tree, but no one had been woken up by Quinn’s antics on the roof. I swiftly checked and placed the presents around the tree, while Quinn made a beeline for the food and drink. “Stock up and let’s get on.”
Quinn nodded, sniffing at the bowl of some sort of rice pudding - Risengrod, I assumed - before shoving it into the bag. The bag glowed for a moment before the empty bowl reappeared. “All done, guv.”
“Excellent,” I said, taking a quick look around before I sent us back to the roof and we continued on our way.
***
The houses sped by one after the other, with Quinn and I falling into a routine - and at least he didn’t end up stuck in another chimney, even if the view had been lovely. The thump of hooves on roof brought me back to the here and now and I shook my head, scattering those thoughts once again, lovely thought it was. I glanced around and realised Quinn was already waiting for me, a worried look on his face.
“Guv?” Quinn asked, concern clear in his voice as his hand reached out for me.
“Do stop dawdling, Quinn,” I barked. “We still have a lot to do and little time to do it.” I turned away from his attention and quickly retrieved the present sack from the back of the sleigh. I felt my foot slide in my haste and grabbed hold of what turned out to be Dancer, and I was precariously close to its hindquarters. “It is just me, Dancer, not a St. Bernard,” I said, my voice calm as I felt muscles flex beneath my fingers.
“Careful, guv!” Quinn called out, his hand reaching out.
“Easy, both of you,” I said, my voice firm and full of command. I took a deep breath, patted Dancer and stepped past, out of range of any flying hooves, and made my way to the spot indicated by portal opener. I glanced back at the sleigh, noticed the look Dancer and Blitzen exchanged and that Quinn was frowning. “Come on then, Quinn, we haven’t got all night.”
“Coming, guv,” Quinn called out as he skirted Dancer and hurried to join me.
I pressed the portal opener and wondered if I’d feel as comfortable strolling through a ‘normal’ anomaly, and then I was standing beside a Christmas tree. I frowned as a photograph caught my attention and wondered over to the fireplace, leaving Quinn to place the presents. Instead, I raised a hand, almost but not quite touching the photographs.
“Guv? James!”
I had the feeling that wasn’t the first time Quinn had called my name. “Is there a problem, Quinn?”
“Are you OK?”
I felt Quinn’s hand on my arm and nodded. Clearly not convincing Quinn as he squeezed my shoulder and peered at the photographs. “Guv? Talk to me.”
“I…” I paused as I stared at the photographs once more. “This is my first Christmas without my children, Quinn.”
“Ah.” Quinn rubbed the back of his neck. “You said. The divorce, it was recent then?” At my nod, Quinn continued, “I’m sorry, guv. What happened?”
“The ARC. The anomalies. Too many missed family events without reasonable explanations,” I admitted.
“And not being able to tell you wife didn’t help?”
Quinn began before I cut in, “Ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife,” Quinn continued smoothly. “The truth didn’t help?”
“Not really,” I agreed. “She… she was convinced I was lying about why I wasn’t there. That I was seeing another m… someone behind her back.” I glanced back at the photographs and smiled, a finger grazing one of the images, and I answered Quinn’s so far unasked question. After all, it would be the question I would have asked in the same circumstances. “The one on the far left is William, Wills, our… my eldest. Then we have Thomas and my youngest, Marcus.”
I heard Quinn curse and then his hand squeezed my shoulder again. “Do you want to see them?”
“More than anything,” I admitted, although I didn’t move a step. “But I don’t want to wake them. How would I explain my - our - presence? And if Alice saw me…” I shook my head, just imagining her reaction.
“Ah, not good for sorting out custody?”
“All sorted, but…” I shrugged, not ready to say more. Not that me being with another man would shock Alice, she’d known I was bisexual when we married and would be happy I’d found someone… but even so, finding me here in the middle of the night, let alone with another man, would not be appreciated.
Quinn clearly understood. “Being caught here wouldn’t go down well?”
“Not at all.” As much as I knew I should go, I wanted to see my sons. A noise had Quinn and I freezing as I listened with every sense, barely breathing, before I realised it had been one of the reindeer growing impatient. It took every ounce of will I had to leave the fireplace and move back to the portal point, and even then, Quinn had to activate it.
I almost ran to the sleigh, uncaring that I was slipping and scrabbling on the roof tiles. I clambered into the sleigh, rubbing the tears from my face and ignoring the looks everyone - man and reindeer - directed at me and the soft querying snort.
Quinn sat beside me, and I sensed his concern, but thankfully he refrained from any comment, merely squeezing my arm again. He turned to the reindeer, calling out, “Next house, please, Blitzen.”
Blitzen glanced at Quinn before turning his attention back to me. His head tilted then he snorted, a gentle comforting sound, before following it with nodding and grunting. At that noise, the sleigh began to move and soon we left my family, my boys, behind.
We sat in silence for some time, although Quinn was clearly not going to allow me to wallow in memories for long. “When will you see them?” When I just looked at him, he seemed to see the need to clarify. “Your children?”
“In the New Year.” I swallowed when my voice cracked slightly. “We… we didn’t want to interrupt the boys’ Christmas and decided it was better for them to spend it in one place.”
Quinn nodded. “You mean Alice decided and you went along with it.”
I nodded and noticed the reindeer exchange glances. “And you lot can knock it off as well.”
***
Quinn put an arm out to stop me at our next destination. “Stay here, guv. I’ll do this one.”
“Quinn,” I began, only for Blitzen to nudge me, his eyes sad. “Look, I’m fine.” I stroked his silken nose. “I am. I just… I just miss being with them for Christmas. Getting to see them open their presents and…” I cut myself off before I became maudlin, already fighting the tears I could feel welling. I took a deep breath, told myself firmly that worse things happened than not seeing my children at Christmas and I gathered my facade around me as if it was armour. “And I’ll see them on New Year’s Day.”
Quinn still pulled me into a hug and I could feel at least two reindeer pressing in as well. I was outnumbered and not so foolish as to deny myself comfort. I finally pulled away, dashed any escaped tears from my face and announced, “Back to work everyone, we’ve still got deliveries to make.”
I must admit, it became easier the further away from my family we flew. House after house, food and drink consumed or placed in the food sack. Clean and empty dishes returned. We were racing the dawn and the reindeer put their all into it. Quinn and I fell back into our rhythm, and we managed to get the time spent on each house down to minutes.
***
Nick clapped his hands when we landed in a flurry of snow and snorting reindeer, tired but well fed with carrots. Each was unharnessed by the elves and taken to rest in their comfortable stable, although Blitzen detoured and nudged me, almost making me stumble into Quinn, who grabbed my arm to stop me falling.
I rolled my eyes when I heard Sugarplum hiss ‘Not subtle’ at Blitzen as she led him away.
Nick cleared his throat before I could say anything. “Excellent my dear boys, excellent. Now, to get you home in time for Christmas.”
Quinn perked up. “So… do we get presents?”
“Quinn!” I hissed.
“What?”
“Well,” Nick interrupted. “You did crash into my new sleigh and injure me.”
“That was an accident.”
I rolled my eyes. “I rather doubt you did it on purpose, Quinn.”
“Exactly,” Nick agreed. “As I was saying,” he continued, “I believe helping to save Christmas by delivering all the presents has taken your name off the naughty list.” I snorted at that, before covering it with a cough, meeting Nick’s amused gaze as he said, “Yes, both of you are on the nice list, so let’s get you home for your presents.”
“Oh, Nick,” Jessica called from the kitchen. “I’ve just made eggnog for us all… yes, yes, Rudolph, you too.”
It would be churlish to refuse and so Quinn and I, followed by Nick and the returned elves, crowded into the kitchen and, well, I must say the eggnog was delicious. “I don’t suppose I could have the recipe?” I enquired.
“We’ll see,” Jessica said before her eyes darted upwards and a knowing smile appeared on her face. “But first, look up.”
I frowned, knowing what must be above our heads and almost sighed when it did indeed prove to be mistletoe. I could hardly refuse to kiss Quinn, not that kissing him would be a hardship. No, kissing him and never getting to do so again would be. I met Quinn’s gaze and then our lips touched and, well, it took a cough and a snort to break us apart and we found all the reindeer trying to see what we were up to as well as the elves cheering. I noticed Nick and Jessica exchange a look before spotting at least a few carrots changing hooves.
“Home, guv?” Quinn asked as he linked his arm with mine.
“Definitely,” I murmured, before saying to Nick, “You said you could send us home?”
“Of course, and it will still be Christmas Eve so you can have a lovely long sleep…” Jessica said before hushing the sniggering reindeer.
***
I woke feeling unusually refreshed after a migraine. And then I recalled my very strange dream, I put it down to it being Christmas Eve, or rather Christmas Day and not getting to see my children until the New Year. And then I remembered Quinn and the kiss and I so wanted it to be real, even if it could be nothing but a dream with Nick and Jessica, the elves and reindeer.
A noise had me sitting up as I recalled I couldn’t remember getting home last night… had Quinn stayed to keep an eye on me? At least, I hoped it was Quinn, otherwise I had an intruder and that would just make this Christmas bloody perfect.
I rose, wrapped my dressing gown around myself and crept down the hall and into my kitchen, to find one Daniel Quinn making a coffee. “I take mine with a splash of milk,” I remarked, a grin flickering across my features when he jumped.
“Ah, guv,” Quinn rubbed a hand through his hair. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing here last night…” He trailed off with a frown.
“Problem?” I queried, not sure what I was hoping he’d say.
“Um…” Quinn hesitated, shifting from foot to foot. “Do you remember getting home… here last night?”
“Don’t you?” I asked, after all, he hadn’t had a migraine and was therefore a more reliable witness then myself, at least for last night.
“No… the last thing…” Quinn frowned again before moving to look out of my window.
“Quinn?”
“I remember skidding…”
“And then?” I prodded, wanting, no, needing to know what he remembered of last night.
“A bloody weird dream. Father Christmas, Nick, that is, and his wife and elves and a bunch of sniggering reindeer…” He trailed off with a shrug.
I wondered if it was possible to share a dream, before deciding it wasn’t a very odd one considering it was Christmas… except, could it have been real? I had to know. “Nick, Jessica, Alabaster, Pepper, Bushy…”
Quinn finished my list with me, “Shinny, Sugarplum and Wunorse.” He looked around for a moment. “Did we have the same dream? Is that even possible?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Did you rush off and get stuck in a chimney?”
“And you pulled me out and hurt your coccyx?” Quinn asked, frowning before asking, “Does it still hurt?”
I frowned, recalling it had been a little tender and gently prodded the area, wincing slightly when it did indeed hurt. “I could just have slept awkwardly.”
“I would say about your children, but they’re in your file.” Quinn looked disappointed for a moment, before brightening for a moment. “Although your divorce isn’t mentioned.”
I shrugged. “Temple breaks into it far too often and I didn’t want any pity.”
Quinn nodded. “Makes sense.” He tilted his head to one side. “Apart from that and sniggering reindeer… do you remember a kiss beneath the mistletoe?”
Before I could reply, Quinn suddenly darted into my lounge, and I trailed behind him in my curiosity, stopping when I saw the decorations. “Quinn…” I shook my head when he looked back at me, if he didn’t recall bring me home last night, he wouldn’t recall decorating… and these decorations didn’t even look like the ones I owned. I ignored his enquiring look as I stepped past him, my fingers barely trailing across the decorations on the tree. “I didn’t decorate.”
“What!?”
At Quinn’s astonished exclamation, I rethought my comment and amended it, “Not like this, I don’t own this stuff.”
“Well, if you didn’t do it and I certainly didn’t, who did?” Quinn asked, frowning slightly as he stepped forward and reach for one of the presents beneath the tree. He turned it this way and that before his eyes widened when he read the label. “Fuck!”
“Quinn?” I asked, removing the present from his lax grip and read the label myself. And again. And for a third time. My mouth opened once or twice before I managed to read it aloud, almost as if hoping that would make it a lie… or what had happened the truth. I wasn’t sure which, or what I wanted. “To James and Daniel. May this Christmas be all you hope for. Thanks for all the help. Love and kisses from Nick, Jessica, Bushy, Alabaster, Pepper, Shinny, Sugarplum and Wunorse and all the reindeer...”
“Was it all real?” Quinn asked.
“It can’t have been,” I replied. It just couldn’t have been real, could it? No, this was more likely some type of practical joke from one of my resident jokers. “Is this yours and Becker’s idea of fun, Mr Quinn?”
“What?” Quinn sounded surprised, upset and… was that disappointed? “I promise, guv, it was nothing to do with me. Scout’s honour.”
“Were you ever a scout, Quinn?” And to think I thought I might have had a chance with Quinn. I turned away, my shoulders’ slumping, this was shaping up to be the very worse Christmas ever.
“I… gu… James!” Quinn almost cried out.
“What?” I turned back to him, my free hand clenched at my side.
“Look, I promise you, it wasn’t me. And I don’t see how it could be Becks, he’s gone to visit his family.”
I so wanted to believe him, but… that would mean the dream wasn’t a dream. How? I mean, I know I now lived in a world where time spat out creatures long dead or not yet born, but Father Christmas being real? Somehow, that was just so much harder to accept. I stared at the present in my hand almost as if it would bite me… thoughts tumbling in my mind until I heard Quinn’s voice, insistent even if I couldn’t make out the words. “What?”
“I said, open the present.” Quinn reached out a hand before dropping it to his side. “Please, James, I didn’t do this. I think… I think it really happened, including that rather lovely kiss.” He grinned at the memory, before sobering and nodding at the present. “That might prove that it did.”
I glanced down at the present before meeting Quinn’s eyes, honesty and sincerity shining in them… along with an emotion I wasn’t ready to accept. I nodded, my fingers teasing the paper open to reveal a carved wooden box. I swallowed as I identified the carved images and dismissed any thought this was from Nick, after all Father Christmas didn’t send out X-rated gifts, did he? I didn’t know if some of those positions were even possible… I shook my head, scattered some interesting thoughts about finding out with Quinn, and opened the box. I smiled when I spotted an amber bottle labelled ‘Headache Remover Number Seven’ before realising if it was real, then the dream hadn’t been a dream. We had really met Father Christmas and… I glanced at Quinn. I had really kissed Quinn.
Quinn moved so he could look inside, and his choked gasp had me looking again and, well, I couldn’t blame him for his reaction.
“And I thought Santa was all for toys and fun and games,” Quinn finally managed as he nudged the other contents.
“Hmmm.” I frowned as I recalled the look that past between Nick and Jessica when Quinn had jumped to his feet when I had swayed, and then there were the book-betting reindeer and the mistletoe…
“James?”
“How about you make another coffee and I start the turkey.”
“James?” Quinn repeated himself and I wondered if his brain had been short-circuited by the contents of the box… or that we really had met Father Christmas?
“Coffee,” I repeated before opening my fridge and frowning at the contents. “Qu…” I paused, if we were going to do what I thought, hoped, we were, then, “Danny, do you have any feelings about goose instead of turkey?”
“Goose?” Quinn… Danny asked, walking up beside me to stare into the fridge. “I’ve never had one.” He let out a yelp as he jumped away from me and rubbed his arse. “That’s not funny, James.”
“Oh, I plan to do a lot more than that, my dear boy,” I almost purred. “Now, do hurry up with the coffee.”
Quinn almost raced to my coffee machine, clearly eager as ever, and I turned my attention to our meal. The sooner I finished its preparation, well, the sooner I could begin another, far more pleasurable preparation. After all, the carvings on the box had given me several ideas for fun and games, even if toys weren’t my thing, and it wouldn’t do to ignore the other contents within.
Additional Characters:-
Nick (Father Christmas)
Jessica (his wife)
An assortment of Elves - Alabaster Snowball; Bushy Evergreen; Pepper Minstix; Shinny Upatree; Sugarplum Mary and Wunorse Openslae
And the irreplaceable reindeer - Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Dasher, Dancer, Donner, Prancer, Vixen and not forgetting, Ruldolph.
Author: knitekat
Word Count: 8036
Characters: James Lester, Danny Quinn… and others (see the end for the list)
Rating: 15
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N 1: For Telperion15’s Secret Santa and her prompts: i. "Do you have any feelings about goose instead of turkey?" ii. Unusual Christmas traditions iii. "What on earth made you think this was a good idea?" and iv. Father Christmas is real and he lives on the other side of an anomaly. I didn’t get them all in, and some are potentially more miss than hit.
A/N 2: idk what this is, but I hope you enjoy it.
A/N 3: Thanks go to the ever wonderful Fred for beta-duties. Any remaining mistakes are mine, especially as I added to it.
I felt the wind buffeting us and I certainly didn’t like the look of the clouds we were heading towards, grey and heavy with snow. I would have turned around, except I’d given my word we - I - would do this… task, and I preferred not to break that promise. Especially…
A movement beside me gained my attention and I turned towards the ever-irritating Quinn, enquiring, “Is there a problem?”
“You had a migraine, guv.”
“It’s better.” I paused as I considered my immediate answer, almost surprised that my migraine had indeed receded to a faint niggle and I made a mental note to obtain the headache cure recipe from our host.
“Is it?” Quinn sounded concerned and for a moment I thought he might care for me as more than just as his boss, that he might… but then he continued, “You’ve been driving for hours. How about you take a break and let me take over?”
“I think not.” The disaster Quinn would no doubt cause didn’t bear thinking about.
“Guv...”
The almost whine in that word had me rolling my eye. “Acting like a child, Quinn.”
“I’m not,” Quinn almost snapped before wincing, possibly realising just how childlike he’d sounded, before he made another attempt. “Aren’t you tired?”
“Somewhat,” I reluctantly admitted, but then I’d be a fool to deny it considering the circumstances.
“Then…”
I cut him off with a somewhat harsh, “Quinn, for the last time, no!”
“It was an accident.”
“An accident? You drove through a bloody anomaly!”
“The car skidded, guv.”
Quinn sounded defensive, and I might, reluctantly, have to agree with his protestation of innocence, but that didn’t stop me adding, “You’re lucky that Nick is in a forgiving mood.”
***
Several hours earlier
I winced when someone turned up the volume of the banal Christmas songs echoing around the atrium and wondered if I’d made the correct decision in taking the Christmas Eve shift. But then, I had nothing to rush home for, not this year. Although my wife - ex-wife - might have enjoyed the lifestyle my position provided, she hadn’t appreciated the late nights and missed family events.
My thoughts turned to past Christmas Eves, to the building anticipation in my children as the clock ticked closer to midnight and Father Christmas began his journey…
I shook my head, that was in the past and I had to deal with the present. Even if I was tired, cranky and desperately needed to see my children, even if it led to another argument when I turned up at my ex-wife’s. Instead, I was left to deal with the fallout of yet another anomaly, the antics of Quinn and Becker, and one angry professor.
I gave a bone-weary sigh when my phone chose that exact minute to ring, the caller’s identify clear and I winced when the minister proceeded to bellow down the phone. I could still hear every word he uttered a good six inches from my ear, as he demanded answers now, if not last week, for the current debacle
My head had started to ache within five minutes, after forty, I could feel the familiar tension and knew I was heading for a migraine. I made the correct responses or non-responses to each demand as I searched my desk drawer for painkillers. I dry swallowed the tablets, even though I knew they wouldn’t subdue it for long, just long enough that I wouldn’t verbally spew the words I was thinking about the inadequate man. I had no wish to be removed from the ARC, even less to be replaced by someone as transparent in her plans as Christine Johnson, even if they were opaque to the minister.
I rubbed my temples when the minister finally rang off and considered whether I could face the somewhat curled sandwiches I hadn’t managed to eat for lunch. My stomach roiled at even the thought of food and I knew better than to drink any coffee.
A knock on my door had me blinking blurrily up at my visitor, mentally cursing when I found Quinn leaning against the jamb. Before I could gather my wits to say anything, Quinn spoke, his voice unexpectedly soft. “You’ve got a headache.”
I was about to award Quinn a prize for stating the blindingly obvious when I winced as pain stabbed through my brain.
“Scratch that, it’s a bloody migraine, isn’t it.” He didn’t wait for an answer before he continued, “You need to rest, guv. Now, you could bunk down here, or I can drive you home.”
“I’m perfectly capable…” I broke off as a red-hot needle seared through my brain.
“No, you’re not.”
“Why the sudden concern for my welfare, Quinn?” I demanded, knowing it couldn’t be because… ah. “What have you done now?”
“Nothing, guv.” Quinn tried his most innocent look with me, not that I believe it for a second. “I’m… that is… I… er… I just don’t want you to wrap your pride and joy around a tree on the way home.” Quinn paused for a moment, clearly rethinking whatever he’d been about to say, before adding, “I saw too much of that as a copper.”
I sighed, of course Quinn only saw me as his boss, although, why would he see me as anything else? I was a cold-hearted civil servant, and no one saw past that facade. I shook my head at my self-pity and realised Quinn had taken that as a refusal when he added, “Please, James, get someone to drive you home.”
Before I could think of a suitable response to his use of my given name, a vicious stab of pain lanced through my temples and I winced, possibly even greying from the look of concern on Quinn’s face. “That’s it, James. You’re going home. I’ll find ...”
“No!”
“Guv?”
“Don’t disturb anyone who’s actually working, Quinn. You can drive me.”
“Thank you.” Quinn not only sounded relieved, he helped me stand up and put my jacket on, before guiding me into the passenger seat of an ARC car… and the only thought running through my mind was ‘Thank fuck it wasn’t his motorcycle”.
Thankfully, Quinn was silent as he drove, presumably in deference to my bludgeoning migraine. I was almost nodding off when Quinn clearly decided he needed company. “So, guv… you got any plans for Christmas?”
I wondered for a moment if he was fishing, if he could possibly be interested in me, before I dismissed it as Quinn not being able to remain quiet for long. “A leisurely lie-in followed by plentiful helpings of turkey and all the trimmings, chased down by brandy.”
“Sounds nice,” Quinn said, sounding wistful, and making me wonder once again if… no, Quinn wasn't, couldn’t be interested in me. “And watching your children open their presents?”
“My children will be opening their presents,” I agreed before hesitating and seeing Quinn shoot a look at me, one that me wondering if… I almost snorted at my self-deception and shook my head to scatter some rather lovely thoughts before they had an unfortunate effect upon me. Unfortunately, that set my head thudding painfully.
“Guv?” Quinn sounded concerned, and I didn’t need that, not with my wayward thoughts.
“Keep your eyes on the road, Quinn,” I ordered, before relenting slightly at his expression. “I apologise, Mr Quinn.”
“Danny,” he interjected.
“Mr Quinn,” I repeated firmly. “I’m afraid I am not good company tonight.”
“And excited kids won’t help.”
“No, but then…” Quinn shot me a glance as my words trailed off and I could see the curiosity forming. Having little wish to be the subject of gossip, I sighed again. “They’ll be spending it with my… my ex, Quinn.”
Quinn’s eyebrow rose and he glanced towards me once more just as something darted out in front of us, dragging an urgent “Look out!” from me. Quinn reacted by wrenching the wheel sideways. Not the most sensible action in this weather and I assume Quinn agreed from the muttered cursing I could hear before I realised the car was sliding sideways. “Quinn!”
“I know. Hold on, things could get a little lively.” Quinn pressed lightly on the accelerator and steered into the skid, a manoeuvrer which appeared to be working until a bloody anomaly opened right in front of us, and I knew we couldn’t stop in time. Even as Quinn instinctively pressed the brakes and we spun sickeningly. I swallowed several times as my empty stomach roiled and then I felt a thud as we hit something.
We sat still in stunned silence for several seconds, long enough for me to realised that the lack of lighting meant we’d gone through the anomaly, even worse, that it had closed behind us.
*snort*
The loud sound startled me and I demanded, “What the hell did you hit?”
I managed to clamber from the car, grateful it wasn’t mine, and glanced around. I rubbed my eyes and looked around again. Well, wherever we were, it was clearly still Christmas. At least, I assumed so from the sleigh lying on its side, along with several presents scattered this way and that.
A loud groan from the wrecked sleigh had me slogging through the shin deep snow, mentally consigning my shoes to the bin, before I stopped and felt Quinn collide with my back. I stared at the red-clad, white haired and bearded man sitting in the damaged sleigh, rubbing his head as he muttered, “I think we took that corner too fast there, Blitzen.”
***
We followed the man - Nick - and being followed by a small herd of reindeer, we made it to his abode. And things didn’t improve when the door opened and we quickly found ourselves in the middle of an argument.
A rather short man - was that pointed ears sticking out from under his hat? - had stood on a chair and was waving his arms for attention. As the room quietened, he gave a loud sigh. “There is no other option, we’ll have to cancel.” At the cries of distress and disbelief from the crowd of equally short men and women, also with pointed ears, the man raised his arms again. “Look, I know it’s not ideal and the children will miss out, but, what else can we do?”
“Kids?” Quinn asked, his eyes fixed on the red-nosed reindeer that was peering rather intently at him. Not that I could blame him for the beast certainly appeared to be floating an inch or so above the ground.
“Well, yes,” a second man said. “Without Nick, the presents won’t be delivered and the children will go without this year.” He sighed and shook his head. “They’ll think they were bad this year when they weren’t.”
“And what exactly does this task involve?” I asked, still half-hoping this was merely a charity supporting an orphanage or hospital. Of course, the reindeer chose that moment to shove its glowing red nose in my face before floating on its back in mid-air. “Is that…” I trailed off, even with all I’d seen, a red-nosed floating reindeer was, well, unusual and… well, it couldn’t possibly mean… could it?
“Yes, that’s Rudolph. I see he’s been on the eggnog again.”
“He’s floating,” Quinn murmured and I was thankful I wasn’t the only one having trouble believing what I was seeing.
“Flying,” Nick corrected, stroking his white beard before sighing. “Alas, there will be no flying tonight for either of us.”
I wasn’t convinced this, whatever this was, was real - although I had never hallucinated due to a migraine before - but… on the other hand, if it was real … I glanced around at Nick, at the wobbly, floating Rudolph and the disappointed crowd of … well, elves, I supposed, and I made my decision. “How can we help?”
“Help?” one of the elves, their spokeself, I supposed, said, puffing up in anger.
“Now, now, Bushy, it was an accident. Ice and the portal were simply in the wrong place.”
My eyebrows rose. “You use the anomalies - the portals - to travel?”
“How did you think my dear Nicholas travels around the entire world in a single night?” a somewhat short yet formidable-looking woman asked as she stepped around the group of elves. “Oh, my. Dear me, what’s happened here?”
“It was an accident,” Quinn protested once more.
“Hah!” Bushy cried.
“I will admit Quinn is a pain and a bit of a maverick, er ...Bushy,” I said, ignoring Quinn’s indigent glare. “But he isn’t malignant. The car hit an icy patch, invisible in the dark, and spun out of control and through the anomaly. It was just bad timing that the sleigh was there and we… collided.”
“Of course it was, my dear James,” Nick agreed, dispensing a look at Bushy that made the elf grumble but give a short nod of agreement.
“Excellent,” Nick declared before turning towards the woman. “Ah, how rude of me. Jessica, my dearest, these are guests of ours, James and Daniel.” Nick took a step towards her and winced as he put weight on his leg.
“Dear me,” Jessica muttered before hurrying forward to help Nick to a nearby chair. “This won’t do, this won’t do at all. What of the children?”
Nick wrapped her in a hug before beaming at me and I wondered just what I’d volunteered myself and Quinn for. “James here has offered to help.”
Jessica looked at me before removing her spectacles, cleaning them and looking again. “Ah, James Peregrine Lester, I remember you.”
“You do?” I couldn’t help asking.
“Oh yes. Let me think. Yes, a drum set in 1979,” Jessica continued and I caught Quinn’s raised eyebrows. “And a guitar a few years later...”
“What about me?” Quinn almost cut her off.
“Hmm,” Jessica considered him, somewhat like a bug beneath a lens. “As I recall, a Daniel Brendan Quinn was often on the naughty list. I believe several lumps of coal were delivered to you and… yes, to you.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me,” I murmured, before my migraine chose that moment to remind me of its presence.
“Are you all right?” Jessica asked, concern clear in her voice as she took a step towards me.
Before I could reply, Quinn grabbed my arm and guided me to another chair. “Migraine,” he informed our hosts.
“Nasty things,” Jessica agreed, squeezing Nick’s shoulder. “My dear Nick gets them this time of year too and we have the perfect cure.” She raised her voice and called out, “Sugarplum!”
A female voice called back, “Yes?”
“Can you bring a batch of Headache Remover Number…” Jessica considered me for a moment before continuing, “Seven, please.”
“Seven?” Sugarplum queried as she hurried in, a large amber bottle in her hands. “That’s not… Oh, who are you?” she asked as she noticed Quinn and myself.
“They’re our new friends, James and Daniel,” Nick informed Sugarplum as she headed towards him. “Oh, that’s not for me, oh no. It’s for James.”
“Only half a cup, Sugarplum,” Jessica added. “James and Daniel are going to be helping us this year.”
“Oh, that’s lovely,” Sugarplum cried as she quickly measured out half a cup and handed it to me. “You must have been especially good this year to get to help us out.”
Bushy snorted before muttering in a rather loud voice, “They crashed into the new sleigh and hurt Nick.”
“What!” Sugarplum cried.
“And we’re cancelling Christmas,” Bushy added.
“No we’re not,” Nick declared. “Alabaster, Shinny, Wunorse, prepare my old sleigh. Pepper, Sugarplum, please introduce James and Daniel to the reindeer.”
“Reindeer!” Quinn hissed at me.
I just raised an eyebrow at him even if, truthfully, I might not have thought things through when I had volunteered but… well, if Nick meant what I thought he mean, it was the logical answer. In a world where reindeer flew, and anomalies spewed forth creatures from other times. I saw no choice but to see where my, admittedly somewhat reckless, promise led. “Please lead on, Pepper and Sugarplum.” I rose and frowned, my hand going to my temples.
“Guv?” Quinn was at my side in an instance. “Sit down before you fall down.”
“I’m fine, Quinn,” I informed him. “I actually feel wonderful.” And I did, whatever was in Headache Remover Number Seven had miraculously cured my migraine, it was just a pity this would be the only time I had it. Not something to dwell upon at the moment, and I drew myself up to my full height, shook Quinn’s hand from my arm and turned towards the indicated elves. “If you could lead the way, Pepper and Sugarplum.”
Pepper nodded and linked arms with Sugarplum. “This way.”
“Although we need to stop off in the kitchen.”
“We do?” I asked, curious as to the detour.
“Of course.” Pepper nodded vigorously. “We need carrots!”
“Won’t they get carrots tonight?” Quinn asked, reddening slightly at my quirked eyebrow. “Kids put carrots out for them,” he added somewhat defensively.
I nodded and turned my attention back to Pepper and Sugarplum. “Quinn is correct; my children…” I stumbled over those words for a moment before rallying. “My children always put carrots out for the reindeer and a mince pie for Santa.”
Jessica exchanged a glance with Nick before dragging me into a hug. I admit I allowed her to, well, it was manners after all. I finally cleared my throat and she stepped back after squeezing my arm. I ignored Quinn’s confused and curious expression as I straightened my tie.
“The carrots don’t go far between eight,” Jessica informed me before pausing at Rudolph’s sigh. “I’m sorry, Ruddy, but you know you can’t drink and fly.” She turned back to us. “The reindeer use up a lot of energy, even with the portals.”
I nodded. “Well, time travel would certainly answer the question of how all the presents are delivered in one night.”
“Precisely.”
Nick frowned at me as he said that, and I almost cursed when I recalled we’d already had this conversation. I met his gaze before glancing at the cup of Headache Remover, and then, before he could ask about my health, I clapped my hands together. “Excellent. Now, it there anything else before we meet the reindeer?”
Nick looked troubled, and for a moment I thought he’d question if I was sure I was up to this… escapade. Then he glanced again at the cup and gave me an almost imperceptible nod, obviously knowing how effective the cure was.
“Is there a problem?” Quinn asked, glancing between us, and I cursed his perceptiveness.
Before I could say anything, Nick looked slightly guilty and shrugged. “I was just thinking about how much I was looking forward to a bowl or two of Risengrod.”
“I’m sorry?” I said over Quinn’s ‘What?’
“Risengrod?” At my nod, Nick continued, “It’s rice pudding with cinnamon. It gets left out for me in Denmark.”
“Oh God!” Quinn murmured and I felt the same as the enormity of what we were about to do struck. We were going to deliver presents to the entire world!
“Do you need to sit down?” Jessica asked. “It is a bit of a shock, isn’t it?”
“Just a bit,” I murmured.
“Well, fortify yourself with some of the drinks - not too many as we don’t drink and fly - and the food on offer,” Nick advised.
I nodded and glanced at the elves, before frowning. “I doubt we’d manage to eat or drink everything, does anyone have any requests?”
Several sets of eyes lit up and everyone began to talk at once.
“Oi!” Quinn proved his lung power with that yell. “One at a time,” he bellowed as he dug out a notebook and pen. “OK, er, Nick do you want anything else?”
“As I said, a bowl or two of Risengrod would be excellent, and maybe some chocolate madeleine biscuits. They’re from France.”
Quinn nodded. “OK. Jessica?”
“Oh my,” Jessica paused for a moment. “Nick would love a glass or three of milk, too.”
“There’s nothing wrong with milk,” I declared, indeed, I found it refreshed the palate.
“Precisely,” Jessica agreed. “For myself, could I trouble you for a glass of sherry - usually the English provide that - and some mince pies or, well, I am rather partial to a slice or two of Chilean sponge - it is filled with fruit, ginger and honey. You should definitely try some, it’s delicious.”
“We will,” Quinn said as he looked around. “Next?”
“Er…” Sugarplum said, glancing around at the others, before continuing. “Could I have some of the Australian fruitcake and maybe a bowl of Risengrod as well?”
“Nothing to drink?” Quinn enquired.
“Well… I am quite fond of a pint of Guinness.”
Pepper grinned before saying, “Well, I just love the Piparkukan, they’re spiced gingerbread cookies from Latvia. Oh… and if you can, a drop of whisky.”
“I’m Alabaster,” a white-haired elf said as he sketched a bow. “Could I have a few clementines from Italy, and a Piparkukan or two as well? Oh, and um… I am partial to the coffee they provide in Sweden.”
Quinn nodded as he continued to scribble his notes.
“Shinny or I,” one of the younger-looking elves began, “oh, I’m Wunorse, by the way, well, we’d quite like the Icelandic Laufabradad, that’s leaf bread and it is very tasty.” Shinny nudged Wunorse, who added, “Oh, and some milk please.”
“OK,” Quinn said before looking at the so far silent Bushy, pen at the ready for his request.
Bushy looked around at all the smiling faces and his sombre expression faded. “If it isn’t too much trouble, could I have the mince pies or the fruitcake and, maybe a brandy or two?”
“Excellent, is that everyone?” Quinn asked before wincing as Rudolph nudged him. “Oh, yeah. Carrots?” Rudolph nodded and nuzzled Quinn.
“Not to put a dampener on proceedings, but how do we transport the food and drink back in one piece?” I asked before pausing and adding, when I recalled the size of the sleigh, “Or carry all the presents?”
Nick smiled. “Excellent questions, my dear James. Pepper, if you could bring the food sack…” When Pepper dashed off to do so, he continued, “If you put the food and drink in the food sack, it will reappear here. As for the presents, they’ll be checked and restocked while you’ll flying, so you have the correct presents for each child
“More portals?” I queried, before deciding I probably didn’t want to know the answer.
“Of course,” Nick declared. “How else could I carry enough presents? Now, away with you to meet the reindeer.”
“Yes.” Pepper suddenly appeared at my elbow and tugged me along. “Bushy will get annoyed if we tarry. Sugarplum!”
“Coming!” Sugarplum cried out and grabbed my other arm.
“Do come along, Quinn,” I cried as I was guided from the room.
“Right behind you, guv,” Quinn replied.
***
I eyed the eight reindeer, as Rudolph was grounded, and looked at Pepper and Sugarplum. “Any tips?” I asked, somewhat helplessly.
“Well,” Pepper replied slowly, clearly thinking through the options. “Blitzen here,” Pepper nodded to a particularly large reindeer. “Likes to lead, if he can get away with it.” Blitzen looked me in the eye and pawed the snow as he snorted, as Pepper continued, “And Dancer kicks if you get behind ‘im.”
“Unfortunate incident with a St. Bernard,” Sugarplum confided.
“Donner loves carrots and will scoff the lot if you don’t keep your eyes open,” Pepper continued, pointing out a reindeer hiding at the back, who gave me a ‘Who me? Not me, guv’ look I recognised from Quinn.
“Oi!” Quinn cried out as he was shoved from behind and into a pile of snow by one of the reindeer. I raised an eyebrow at the innocent-looking reindeer, innocent-looking until it broke into, I assume, the reindeer equivalent of laughter.
“Oh, yes,” Sugarplum said, hands on hips. “And that’s Prancer.”
“I see,” I murmured, wondering just what I’d let myself in for. “Any other suggestions?”
“A firm hand,” Pepper advised in a serious voice.
“Shouldn’t be a problem for you, guv,” Quinn quipped from the snowdrift before lobbing a snowball at Prancer, who dodged.
“Children!” I didn’t bellow, but my voice carried and had both miscreants freezing and looking at me. “If you’ve quite finished?” I waited for a heartbeat as they looked at each other before I continued, “If I can remind you, we have a large number of presents to deliver and…” I trailed off as I realised something and turned to the elves. “And neither Quinn or I know the way.” I turned my full attention to Blitzen. “Now, do you want to help, or do you want to let all the childlike down?” Blitzen tilted his head slightly, before nodding. “Excellent.” Although I had the definite feeling Blizten would be leading, and Quinn and I would merely be along for the ride. Not that I cared, not as long as the presents were delivered… including to my own children.
My musings were soon proven correct when Blizten nudged all the other reindeer into position and then looked at me expectantly. “Right, let’s get going… Oh, Quinn, do stop playing in the snow.”
***
The sleigh thumped onto the first roof, and I could only hope no one below was still awake... or had been woken. Although none of the reindeer seemed concerned; indeed, Donnor just looked impatient for us to start… probably eager for any carrots we found. I rose on slightly shaky legs and clambered out onto the roof.
“Be careful, guv,” Quinn cried out as he grabbed me when my shoes slipped and I ended up clutching the sleigh in a white-knuckled grip. I forced my fingers to relax and reached out for the thankfully light present sack with one hand and, holding the harness with the other, I slowly edged forward.
“Maybe I should do this?” Quinn declared as he took the present sack from me and walked off without waiting for my reply. I soon heard him cry out and leaned against Blitzen, shaking my head and heard Blitzen’s agreeing snort. “Minions, hmm, Blitzen.” I can’t say I was surprised when Blitzen nodded in agreement and we strolled forward together to see what mess Quinn had got himself into now.
The sight that met our eyes brought Blitzen and I to a halt, and I sighed deeply. I eyed Quinn’s legs sticking out of the chimney and asked, remarkably calmly I felt, “What on earth made you think this was a good idea?”
“Nick does it all the time,” Quinn said, his muffled and somewhat indignant voice echoing back.
I heard and ignored a definite sniggering snort from behind me as I said, “Two points, Mr Quinn.” I settled into the lecturing position that N… the professor favoured, usually when trying to get his point across to me. “One, it is one night a year.”
“This night!” Quinn protested.
“And two,” I continued as if he hadn’t interrupted. “We have this.”
“What?”
Quinn’s voice reminded me that he could hardly see in his current position, and now was not the time to think about how good he looked with his arse in the air. I shook my head and those thoughts from my mind, gave myself a stern talking to and reminded myself why we were here. “This… I have no idea what it is called, but Pepper showed it to me. It opens short range anomalies… portals from the roof to the Christmas tree.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Quinn groused.
“Because I didn’t think, although God knows why, that you’d dive head-first down a bloody chimney.” I said as I moved around and gave myself another stern talking to as I noted his arse really did look rather splendid. I took a deep breath, ignored the mutterings of the reindeer behind me and the sudden thought they had a book on whether Quinn and I were - or would be - together, and took a firm grip on Quinn’s hips. I paused, forced down my arousal, and then pulled. After some time - which did little good for my composure - he finally slithered out of the chimney like a cork from a bottle. I ended up sitting down on the roof with a painful bump, a squirming Quinn in my lap. I groaned at the sensation before pushing Quinn off before his actions led to a rather unfortunate reaction. Besides, the roof tiles were cold, and my arse hurt.
“No need for that, guv.” Quinn pouted at me before offering a hand to pull me up. He frowned at my wince. “Headache?”
“No, I landed on my coccyx.”
“Oh, ouch!” Quinn’s concern died then as he asked. “Do you want me to drive?”
“The answer is still no.” I rubbed my sore arse before nodding to the toys the sack had produced. “Grab those and we’ll deliver them. Hopefully, no one was woken up by all your antics.”
Thankfully not only did the short-range portal opener work and deposit us safe and sound beside the Christmas tree, but no one had been woken up by Quinn’s antics on the roof. I swiftly checked and placed the presents around the tree, while Quinn made a beeline for the food and drink. “Stock up and let’s get on.”
Quinn nodded, sniffing at the bowl of some sort of rice pudding - Risengrod, I assumed - before shoving it into the bag. The bag glowed for a moment before the empty bowl reappeared. “All done, guv.”
“Excellent,” I said, taking a quick look around before I sent us back to the roof and we continued on our way.
***
The houses sped by one after the other, with Quinn and I falling into a routine - and at least he didn’t end up stuck in another chimney, even if the view had been lovely. The thump of hooves on roof brought me back to the here and now and I shook my head, scattering those thoughts once again, lovely thought it was. I glanced around and realised Quinn was already waiting for me, a worried look on his face.
“Guv?” Quinn asked, concern clear in his voice as his hand reached out for me.
“Do stop dawdling, Quinn,” I barked. “We still have a lot to do and little time to do it.” I turned away from his attention and quickly retrieved the present sack from the back of the sleigh. I felt my foot slide in my haste and grabbed hold of what turned out to be Dancer, and I was precariously close to its hindquarters. “It is just me, Dancer, not a St. Bernard,” I said, my voice calm as I felt muscles flex beneath my fingers.
“Careful, guv!” Quinn called out, his hand reaching out.
“Easy, both of you,” I said, my voice firm and full of command. I took a deep breath, patted Dancer and stepped past, out of range of any flying hooves, and made my way to the spot indicated by portal opener. I glanced back at the sleigh, noticed the look Dancer and Blitzen exchanged and that Quinn was frowning. “Come on then, Quinn, we haven’t got all night.”
“Coming, guv,” Quinn called out as he skirted Dancer and hurried to join me.
I pressed the portal opener and wondered if I’d feel as comfortable strolling through a ‘normal’ anomaly, and then I was standing beside a Christmas tree. I frowned as a photograph caught my attention and wondered over to the fireplace, leaving Quinn to place the presents. Instead, I raised a hand, almost but not quite touching the photographs.
“Guv? James!”
I had the feeling that wasn’t the first time Quinn had called my name. “Is there a problem, Quinn?”
“Are you OK?”
I felt Quinn’s hand on my arm and nodded. Clearly not convincing Quinn as he squeezed my shoulder and peered at the photographs. “Guv? Talk to me.”
“I…” I paused as I stared at the photographs once more. “This is my first Christmas without my children, Quinn.”
“Ah.” Quinn rubbed the back of his neck. “You said. The divorce, it was recent then?” At my nod, Quinn continued, “I’m sorry, guv. What happened?”
“The ARC. The anomalies. Too many missed family events without reasonable explanations,” I admitted.
“And not being able to tell you wife didn’t help?”
Quinn began before I cut in, “Ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife,” Quinn continued smoothly. “The truth didn’t help?”
“Not really,” I agreed. “She… she was convinced I was lying about why I wasn’t there. That I was seeing another m… someone behind her back.” I glanced back at the photographs and smiled, a finger grazing one of the images, and I answered Quinn’s so far unasked question. After all, it would be the question I would have asked in the same circumstances. “The one on the far left is William, Wills, our… my eldest. Then we have Thomas and my youngest, Marcus.”
I heard Quinn curse and then his hand squeezed my shoulder again. “Do you want to see them?”
“More than anything,” I admitted, although I didn’t move a step. “But I don’t want to wake them. How would I explain my - our - presence? And if Alice saw me…” I shook my head, just imagining her reaction.
“Ah, not good for sorting out custody?”
“All sorted, but…” I shrugged, not ready to say more. Not that me being with another man would shock Alice, she’d known I was bisexual when we married and would be happy I’d found someone… but even so, finding me here in the middle of the night, let alone with another man, would not be appreciated.
Quinn clearly understood. “Being caught here wouldn’t go down well?”
“Not at all.” As much as I knew I should go, I wanted to see my sons. A noise had Quinn and I freezing as I listened with every sense, barely breathing, before I realised it had been one of the reindeer growing impatient. It took every ounce of will I had to leave the fireplace and move back to the portal point, and even then, Quinn had to activate it.
I almost ran to the sleigh, uncaring that I was slipping and scrabbling on the roof tiles. I clambered into the sleigh, rubbing the tears from my face and ignoring the looks everyone - man and reindeer - directed at me and the soft querying snort.
Quinn sat beside me, and I sensed his concern, but thankfully he refrained from any comment, merely squeezing my arm again. He turned to the reindeer, calling out, “Next house, please, Blitzen.”
Blitzen glanced at Quinn before turning his attention back to me. His head tilted then he snorted, a gentle comforting sound, before following it with nodding and grunting. At that noise, the sleigh began to move and soon we left my family, my boys, behind.
We sat in silence for some time, although Quinn was clearly not going to allow me to wallow in memories for long. “When will you see them?” When I just looked at him, he seemed to see the need to clarify. “Your children?”
“In the New Year.” I swallowed when my voice cracked slightly. “We… we didn’t want to interrupt the boys’ Christmas and decided it was better for them to spend it in one place.”
Quinn nodded. “You mean Alice decided and you went along with it.”
I nodded and noticed the reindeer exchange glances. “And you lot can knock it off as well.”
***
Quinn put an arm out to stop me at our next destination. “Stay here, guv. I’ll do this one.”
“Quinn,” I began, only for Blitzen to nudge me, his eyes sad. “Look, I’m fine.” I stroked his silken nose. “I am. I just… I just miss being with them for Christmas. Getting to see them open their presents and…” I cut myself off before I became maudlin, already fighting the tears I could feel welling. I took a deep breath, told myself firmly that worse things happened than not seeing my children at Christmas and I gathered my facade around me as if it was armour. “And I’ll see them on New Year’s Day.”
Quinn still pulled me into a hug and I could feel at least two reindeer pressing in as well. I was outnumbered and not so foolish as to deny myself comfort. I finally pulled away, dashed any escaped tears from my face and announced, “Back to work everyone, we’ve still got deliveries to make.”
I must admit, it became easier the further away from my family we flew. House after house, food and drink consumed or placed in the food sack. Clean and empty dishes returned. We were racing the dawn and the reindeer put their all into it. Quinn and I fell back into our rhythm, and we managed to get the time spent on each house down to minutes.
***
Nick clapped his hands when we landed in a flurry of snow and snorting reindeer, tired but well fed with carrots. Each was unharnessed by the elves and taken to rest in their comfortable stable, although Blitzen detoured and nudged me, almost making me stumble into Quinn, who grabbed my arm to stop me falling.
I rolled my eyes when I heard Sugarplum hiss ‘Not subtle’ at Blitzen as she led him away.
Nick cleared his throat before I could say anything. “Excellent my dear boys, excellent. Now, to get you home in time for Christmas.”
Quinn perked up. “So… do we get presents?”
“Quinn!” I hissed.
“What?”
“Well,” Nick interrupted. “You did crash into my new sleigh and injure me.”
“That was an accident.”
I rolled my eyes. “I rather doubt you did it on purpose, Quinn.”
“Exactly,” Nick agreed. “As I was saying,” he continued, “I believe helping to save Christmas by delivering all the presents has taken your name off the naughty list.” I snorted at that, before covering it with a cough, meeting Nick’s amused gaze as he said, “Yes, both of you are on the nice list, so let’s get you home for your presents.”
“Oh, Nick,” Jessica called from the kitchen. “I’ve just made eggnog for us all… yes, yes, Rudolph, you too.”
It would be churlish to refuse and so Quinn and I, followed by Nick and the returned elves, crowded into the kitchen and, well, I must say the eggnog was delicious. “I don’t suppose I could have the recipe?” I enquired.
“We’ll see,” Jessica said before her eyes darted upwards and a knowing smile appeared on her face. “But first, look up.”
I frowned, knowing what must be above our heads and almost sighed when it did indeed prove to be mistletoe. I could hardly refuse to kiss Quinn, not that kissing him would be a hardship. No, kissing him and never getting to do so again would be. I met Quinn’s gaze and then our lips touched and, well, it took a cough and a snort to break us apart and we found all the reindeer trying to see what we were up to as well as the elves cheering. I noticed Nick and Jessica exchange a look before spotting at least a few carrots changing hooves.
“Home, guv?” Quinn asked as he linked his arm with mine.
“Definitely,” I murmured, before saying to Nick, “You said you could send us home?”
“Of course, and it will still be Christmas Eve so you can have a lovely long sleep…” Jessica said before hushing the sniggering reindeer.
***
I woke feeling unusually refreshed after a migraine. And then I recalled my very strange dream, I put it down to it being Christmas Eve, or rather Christmas Day and not getting to see my children until the New Year. And then I remembered Quinn and the kiss and I so wanted it to be real, even if it could be nothing but a dream with Nick and Jessica, the elves and reindeer.
A noise had me sitting up as I recalled I couldn’t remember getting home last night… had Quinn stayed to keep an eye on me? At least, I hoped it was Quinn, otherwise I had an intruder and that would just make this Christmas bloody perfect.
I rose, wrapped my dressing gown around myself and crept down the hall and into my kitchen, to find one Daniel Quinn making a coffee. “I take mine with a splash of milk,” I remarked, a grin flickering across my features when he jumped.
“Ah, guv,” Quinn rubbed a hand through his hair. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing here last night…” He trailed off with a frown.
“Problem?” I queried, not sure what I was hoping he’d say.
“Um…” Quinn hesitated, shifting from foot to foot. “Do you remember getting home… here last night?”
“Don’t you?” I asked, after all, he hadn’t had a migraine and was therefore a more reliable witness then myself, at least for last night.
“No… the last thing…” Quinn frowned again before moving to look out of my window.
“Quinn?”
“I remember skidding…”
“And then?” I prodded, wanting, no, needing to know what he remembered of last night.
“A bloody weird dream. Father Christmas, Nick, that is, and his wife and elves and a bunch of sniggering reindeer…” He trailed off with a shrug.
I wondered if it was possible to share a dream, before deciding it wasn’t a very odd one considering it was Christmas… except, could it have been real? I had to know. “Nick, Jessica, Alabaster, Pepper, Bushy…”
Quinn finished my list with me, “Shinny, Sugarplum and Wunorse.” He looked around for a moment. “Did we have the same dream? Is that even possible?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Did you rush off and get stuck in a chimney?”
“And you pulled me out and hurt your coccyx?” Quinn asked, frowning before asking, “Does it still hurt?”
I frowned, recalling it had been a little tender and gently prodded the area, wincing slightly when it did indeed hurt. “I could just have slept awkwardly.”
“I would say about your children, but they’re in your file.” Quinn looked disappointed for a moment, before brightening for a moment. “Although your divorce isn’t mentioned.”
I shrugged. “Temple breaks into it far too often and I didn’t want any pity.”
Quinn nodded. “Makes sense.” He tilted his head to one side. “Apart from that and sniggering reindeer… do you remember a kiss beneath the mistletoe?”
Before I could reply, Quinn suddenly darted into my lounge, and I trailed behind him in my curiosity, stopping when I saw the decorations. “Quinn…” I shook my head when he looked back at me, if he didn’t recall bring me home last night, he wouldn’t recall decorating… and these decorations didn’t even look like the ones I owned. I ignored his enquiring look as I stepped past him, my fingers barely trailing across the decorations on the tree. “I didn’t decorate.”
“What!?”
At Quinn’s astonished exclamation, I rethought my comment and amended it, “Not like this, I don’t own this stuff.”
“Well, if you didn’t do it and I certainly didn’t, who did?” Quinn asked, frowning slightly as he stepped forward and reach for one of the presents beneath the tree. He turned it this way and that before his eyes widened when he read the label. “Fuck!”
“Quinn?” I asked, removing the present from his lax grip and read the label myself. And again. And for a third time. My mouth opened once or twice before I managed to read it aloud, almost as if hoping that would make it a lie… or what had happened the truth. I wasn’t sure which, or what I wanted. “To James and Daniel. May this Christmas be all you hope for. Thanks for all the help. Love and kisses from Nick, Jessica, Bushy, Alabaster, Pepper, Shinny, Sugarplum and Wunorse and all the reindeer...”
“Was it all real?” Quinn asked.
“It can’t have been,” I replied. It just couldn’t have been real, could it? No, this was more likely some type of practical joke from one of my resident jokers. “Is this yours and Becker’s idea of fun, Mr Quinn?”
“What?” Quinn sounded surprised, upset and… was that disappointed? “I promise, guv, it was nothing to do with me. Scout’s honour.”
“Were you ever a scout, Quinn?” And to think I thought I might have had a chance with Quinn. I turned away, my shoulders’ slumping, this was shaping up to be the very worse Christmas ever.
“I… gu… James!” Quinn almost cried out.
“What?” I turned back to him, my free hand clenched at my side.
“Look, I promise you, it wasn’t me. And I don’t see how it could be Becks, he’s gone to visit his family.”
I so wanted to believe him, but… that would mean the dream wasn’t a dream. How? I mean, I know I now lived in a world where time spat out creatures long dead or not yet born, but Father Christmas being real? Somehow, that was just so much harder to accept. I stared at the present in my hand almost as if it would bite me… thoughts tumbling in my mind until I heard Quinn’s voice, insistent even if I couldn’t make out the words. “What?”
“I said, open the present.” Quinn reached out a hand before dropping it to his side. “Please, James, I didn’t do this. I think… I think it really happened, including that rather lovely kiss.” He grinned at the memory, before sobering and nodding at the present. “That might prove that it did.”
I glanced down at the present before meeting Quinn’s eyes, honesty and sincerity shining in them… along with an emotion I wasn’t ready to accept. I nodded, my fingers teasing the paper open to reveal a carved wooden box. I swallowed as I identified the carved images and dismissed any thought this was from Nick, after all Father Christmas didn’t send out X-rated gifts, did he? I didn’t know if some of those positions were even possible… I shook my head, scattered some interesting thoughts about finding out with Quinn, and opened the box. I smiled when I spotted an amber bottle labelled ‘Headache Remover Number Seven’ before realising if it was real, then the dream hadn’t been a dream. We had really met Father Christmas and… I glanced at Quinn. I had really kissed Quinn.
Quinn moved so he could look inside, and his choked gasp had me looking again and, well, I couldn’t blame him for his reaction.
“And I thought Santa was all for toys and fun and games,” Quinn finally managed as he nudged the other contents.
“Hmmm.” I frowned as I recalled the look that past between Nick and Jessica when Quinn had jumped to his feet when I had swayed, and then there were the book-betting reindeer and the mistletoe…
“James?”
“How about you make another coffee and I start the turkey.”
“James?” Quinn repeated himself and I wondered if his brain had been short-circuited by the contents of the box… or that we really had met Father Christmas?
“Coffee,” I repeated before opening my fridge and frowning at the contents. “Qu…” I paused, if we were going to do what I thought, hoped, we were, then, “Danny, do you have any feelings about goose instead of turkey?”
“Goose?” Quinn… Danny asked, walking up beside me to stare into the fridge. “I’ve never had one.” He let out a yelp as he jumped away from me and rubbed his arse. “That’s not funny, James.”
“Oh, I plan to do a lot more than that, my dear boy,” I almost purred. “Now, do hurry up with the coffee.”
Quinn almost raced to my coffee machine, clearly eager as ever, and I turned my attention to our meal. The sooner I finished its preparation, well, the sooner I could begin another, far more pleasurable preparation. After all, the carvings on the box had given me several ideas for fun and games, even if toys weren’t my thing, and it wouldn’t do to ignore the other contents within.
Additional Characters:-
Nick (Father Christmas)
Jessica (his wife)
An assortment of Elves - Alabaster Snowball; Bushy Evergreen; Pepper Minstix; Shinny Upatree; Sugarplum Mary and Wunorse Openslae
And the irreplaceable reindeer - Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Dasher, Dancer, Donner, Prancer, Vixen and not forgetting, Ruldolph.