Primeval fic: Never Good Enough
Title: Never Good Enough
Author: knitekat
Word Count: ~1490
Characters: Hilary Becker, Tom Ryan
Rating: 18
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N: For Fred for all her beta-ing and paw-holding. Her prompt was Ryan/Becker and Men in Black. Sorry it has taken so long and um, definitely angsty. Thanks go to Fifi for the beta, cheers m'dear.
Captain Hilary Becker let his office door close behind him before leaning on it with a sigh. Yet again he'd led a mission and yet again he'd heard his men discuss how the blessed Captain Ryan would have handled it differently - and no doubt, better.
He knew what they had said about him when he'd first arrived at the ARC. A pretty boy who'd obviously only got to where he was by either his family connections, or taking it up the arse to smooth his course though Sandhurst and beyond. As much as he hated the latter rumour, the former wasn't true either. How was it his fault his father was a general? At least they'd never had to live up to impossible standards every day of their lives.
Until today, Becker had thought he'd finally made some headway with his men, but their chatter today just showed how mistaken he'd been. Oh, they were respectful to his face, but as soon as his back was turned... He sighed. If they didn't respect him then they wouldn't follow his orders without question and something would go wrong on a shout and it would all be his fault.
Becker had dared to think making captain would have proven his abilities to everyone, but he should have known better. He would just have to try harder to show himself just as good a man and captain as Ryan had been. He'd had to excel at everything from childhood, showing over and over again that he was worth something, that it would be nothing new to him. He'd show them all - his father included - that he had earned his commission.
***
The next shout went smoothly, the creatures - some sort of mid-sized plant-eater - sent home without incident and with no casualties on either side. Becker felt a prickle of pride in that success before he ruthlessly squashed it and returned to his work. He only nodded when one of his men bid him goodnight. Immersed as he was in planning how the mission could have gone better, what he could have done differently, he didn't hear one of his men invite him to join them down the pub. He didn't see the soldier shake his head and mutter about 'stick-up-his-arse' captains who wouldn't socialise with the men.
***
Becker swore as the lumbering armoured beast charged towards an oblivious Connor. He was too far away to push Connor out of the way, although he didn't let that stop him trying. He yelled out a warning to Connor as he flew across the ground heedless of his own safety.
The anomaly flickered once more and a smaller dark shape raced through, pausing as they took in the scene before charging towards Connor and sending the young man to the ground and safely clear of the charging beast.
Becker slowed to a jog and his eyebrow rose at the sight of the man who knelt beside Connor. The blond hair and gray eyes familiar from the photo even if the dirty, torn and ragged uniform had seen better days. Becker watched with a stab of jealousy as the team and the other soldiers greeted the man like the long-lost friend he was. Just what he needed, Captain Ryan back from the dead.
As Becker watched Ryan, he knew he could never compete with the man. His easy comradeship with his men, with the team, was something Becker hadn't been able to achieve in the past six months. And now, with Ryan back, it looked as if Becker would never have the chance.
***
Becker took his time writing his report before he headed for the locker room, hoping that his men would be finished in there by then. He had no wish to run into his - or maybe Ryan's now he was back - men and hear more about the blessed Captain Ryan and how the sun shone out of his bloody arse.
He stripped without ceremony, grabbed his supplies and definitely did not stomp to the showers before realising that he wasn't alone. Becker's mouth opened as he stared at the rivulets of water running down the toned, muscular and broad back of one Captain Ryan. He was still staring when Ryan turned and, god, you could bounce coins off his abs.
“Can I help you, Captain Becker?”
Becker only just stopped himself nodding as his eyes dropped further down to the lovely, large cock, half hard in its nest of blond. He licked his lips unconsciously before tearing his eyes away and back up to look at Ryan. The half smile on the other captain's face had Becker's shoulders slump as he turned away. Just what he needed, Ryan would tell his men that Becker was gay and that would be it. They'd finally think they had proof he'd slept his way to his position and any authority he might have gained would be fatally undermined with that untruth.
He heard Ryan sigh before the larger man's hand caught Becker's shoulder and swung him around. Becker's eyes were still downcast and widened when he noticed Ryan's cock was slowly filling beneath his gaze.
“I've been talking to my... your men, Becker.” At Becker's sigh, Ryan chuckled softly and continued. “They are still your men. You're been driving them and yourself too hard.”
Becker shook his head. “They think...” His words were cut off when Ryan kissed him, hard and demanding and oh fuck, that felt good.
“No, they don't. Not any more.” Ryan snorted softly. “I think you've got that stick jammed so far up your arse that it's made you deaf. How about I replace it with something else?”
***
Becker let his head loll back against the wall, his hands gripping Ryan's muscular shoulders tightly as his blond head bobbled up and down on his cock. Fuck! He didn't care if Ryan was the better soldier, not with the way the man was licking and sucking at him. He groaned deeply when Ryan took all of him, deep-throating him and swallowing around him until Becker's hips jerked and he spurted.
Ryan sat back on his heels, looking like the cat that had got the cream as he licked his lips as a drop of come ran down his chin until he caught it with a finger and sucked the digit clean.
Becker groaned at the sight and quickly turned to lean against the tiled wall, his legs spread and his arse pushed backwards in a clear invite. “Captain Ryan, would you care to replace that stick up my arse?”
Ryan growled low in his throat and Becker gasped as large hands gripped his hips before a tongue licked along his crack. Over and over again until Becker was wiggling with need and opened easily when first one and then two questing fingers breached him, slick with something that was probably shower gel. “Fuck!”
Becker shivered in need when Ryan breathed against his neck, and groaned deeply as Ryan split him open, driving that gloriously thick cock balls deep inside and setting up the pounding rhythm both men needed. Becker shoved back to meet each thrust, gasping as Ryan's gun-calloused hand wrapped around him and jerked him just right until he came, spurting over the tiles. He clenched hard around Ryan and felt him falter and fill him.
Becker felt Ryan withdraw and let his head drop, now was the moment Ryan told him he was a good fuck and left. Or to be precise, this was the moment he was on his way to a brand new posting and Ryan took back his men.
Ryan nuzzled his shoulder. “I don't make a habit of shagging and running, Becker.” He pressed a finger into Becker's loose hole. “How about we finish up here and go to yours?”
“And tomorrow?” Becker had to know.
“And tomorrow we talk Lester into needing two captains at the ARC.”
Becker smiled and leaned in to kiss Ryan tentatively. “Sounds good. You like pizza?”
Ryan snorted. “After months eating things I don't want to think about, pizza sounds like heaven.” He pulled Becker in for another kiss, his lips moving languidly upon Becker's. “As does spending time with you.”
Becker found it hard to get his head around the thought that Ryan actually wanted to spend time with him. None of his other lovers, if he could call them that, had stayed around for longer than a quick fuck. They'd never had the slightest time for him once they'd had his arse and it had merely made it crystal clear to Becker that he wasn't good enough. The thought that Ryan wanted more was intoxicating and he couldn't help smile as he imagined waking up in Ryan's bed, in his arms. That maybe, finally, he was worth something.
Author: knitekat
Word Count: ~1490
Characters: Hilary Becker, Tom Ryan
Rating: 18
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N: For Fred for all her beta-ing and paw-holding. Her prompt was Ryan/Becker and Men in Black. Sorry it has taken so long and um, definitely angsty. Thanks go to Fifi for the beta, cheers m'dear.
Captain Hilary Becker let his office door close behind him before leaning on it with a sigh. Yet again he'd led a mission and yet again he'd heard his men discuss how the blessed Captain Ryan would have handled it differently - and no doubt, better.
He knew what they had said about him when he'd first arrived at the ARC. A pretty boy who'd obviously only got to where he was by either his family connections, or taking it up the arse to smooth his course though Sandhurst and beyond. As much as he hated the latter rumour, the former wasn't true either. How was it his fault his father was a general? At least they'd never had to live up to impossible standards every day of their lives.
Until today, Becker had thought he'd finally made some headway with his men, but their chatter today just showed how mistaken he'd been. Oh, they were respectful to his face, but as soon as his back was turned... He sighed. If they didn't respect him then they wouldn't follow his orders without question and something would go wrong on a shout and it would all be his fault.
Becker had dared to think making captain would have proven his abilities to everyone, but he should have known better. He would just have to try harder to show himself just as good a man and captain as Ryan had been. He'd had to excel at everything from childhood, showing over and over again that he was worth something, that it would be nothing new to him. He'd show them all - his father included - that he had earned his commission.
***
The next shout went smoothly, the creatures - some sort of mid-sized plant-eater - sent home without incident and with no casualties on either side. Becker felt a prickle of pride in that success before he ruthlessly squashed it and returned to his work. He only nodded when one of his men bid him goodnight. Immersed as he was in planning how the mission could have gone better, what he could have done differently, he didn't hear one of his men invite him to join them down the pub. He didn't see the soldier shake his head and mutter about 'stick-up-his-arse' captains who wouldn't socialise with the men.
***
Becker swore as the lumbering armoured beast charged towards an oblivious Connor. He was too far away to push Connor out of the way, although he didn't let that stop him trying. He yelled out a warning to Connor as he flew across the ground heedless of his own safety.
The anomaly flickered once more and a smaller dark shape raced through, pausing as they took in the scene before charging towards Connor and sending the young man to the ground and safely clear of the charging beast.
Becker slowed to a jog and his eyebrow rose at the sight of the man who knelt beside Connor. The blond hair and gray eyes familiar from the photo even if the dirty, torn and ragged uniform had seen better days. Becker watched with a stab of jealousy as the team and the other soldiers greeted the man like the long-lost friend he was. Just what he needed, Captain Ryan back from the dead.
As Becker watched Ryan, he knew he could never compete with the man. His easy comradeship with his men, with the team, was something Becker hadn't been able to achieve in the past six months. And now, with Ryan back, it looked as if Becker would never have the chance.
***
Becker took his time writing his report before he headed for the locker room, hoping that his men would be finished in there by then. He had no wish to run into his - or maybe Ryan's now he was back - men and hear more about the blessed Captain Ryan and how the sun shone out of his bloody arse.
He stripped without ceremony, grabbed his supplies and definitely did not stomp to the showers before realising that he wasn't alone. Becker's mouth opened as he stared at the rivulets of water running down the toned, muscular and broad back of one Captain Ryan. He was still staring when Ryan turned and, god, you could bounce coins off his abs.
“Can I help you, Captain Becker?”
Becker only just stopped himself nodding as his eyes dropped further down to the lovely, large cock, half hard in its nest of blond. He licked his lips unconsciously before tearing his eyes away and back up to look at Ryan. The half smile on the other captain's face had Becker's shoulders slump as he turned away. Just what he needed, Ryan would tell his men that Becker was gay and that would be it. They'd finally think they had proof he'd slept his way to his position and any authority he might have gained would be fatally undermined with that untruth.
He heard Ryan sigh before the larger man's hand caught Becker's shoulder and swung him around. Becker's eyes were still downcast and widened when he noticed Ryan's cock was slowly filling beneath his gaze.
“I've been talking to my... your men, Becker.” At Becker's sigh, Ryan chuckled softly and continued. “They are still your men. You're been driving them and yourself too hard.”
Becker shook his head. “They think...” His words were cut off when Ryan kissed him, hard and demanding and oh fuck, that felt good.
“No, they don't. Not any more.” Ryan snorted softly. “I think you've got that stick jammed so far up your arse that it's made you deaf. How about I replace it with something else?”
***
Becker let his head loll back against the wall, his hands gripping Ryan's muscular shoulders tightly as his blond head bobbled up and down on his cock. Fuck! He didn't care if Ryan was the better soldier, not with the way the man was licking and sucking at him. He groaned deeply when Ryan took all of him, deep-throating him and swallowing around him until Becker's hips jerked and he spurted.
Ryan sat back on his heels, looking like the cat that had got the cream as he licked his lips as a drop of come ran down his chin until he caught it with a finger and sucked the digit clean.
Becker groaned at the sight and quickly turned to lean against the tiled wall, his legs spread and his arse pushed backwards in a clear invite. “Captain Ryan, would you care to replace that stick up my arse?”
Ryan growled low in his throat and Becker gasped as large hands gripped his hips before a tongue licked along his crack. Over and over again until Becker was wiggling with need and opened easily when first one and then two questing fingers breached him, slick with something that was probably shower gel. “Fuck!”
Becker shivered in need when Ryan breathed against his neck, and groaned deeply as Ryan split him open, driving that gloriously thick cock balls deep inside and setting up the pounding rhythm both men needed. Becker shoved back to meet each thrust, gasping as Ryan's gun-calloused hand wrapped around him and jerked him just right until he came, spurting over the tiles. He clenched hard around Ryan and felt him falter and fill him.
Becker felt Ryan withdraw and let his head drop, now was the moment Ryan told him he was a good fuck and left. Or to be precise, this was the moment he was on his way to a brand new posting and Ryan took back his men.
Ryan nuzzled his shoulder. “I don't make a habit of shagging and running, Becker.” He pressed a finger into Becker's loose hole. “How about we finish up here and go to yours?”
“And tomorrow?” Becker had to know.
“And tomorrow we talk Lester into needing two captains at the ARC.”
Becker smiled and leaned in to kiss Ryan tentatively. “Sounds good. You like pizza?”
Ryan snorted. “After months eating things I don't want to think about, pizza sounds like heaven.” He pulled Becker in for another kiss, his lips moving languidly upon Becker's. “As does spending time with you.”
Becker found it hard to get his head around the thought that Ryan actually wanted to spend time with him. None of his other lovers, if he could call them that, had stayed around for longer than a quick fuck. They'd never had the slightest time for him once they'd had his arse and it had merely made it crystal clear to Becker that he wasn't good enough. The thought that Ryan wanted more was intoxicating and he couldn't help smile as he imagined waking up in Ryan's bed, in his arms. That maybe, finally, he was worth something.