Let me begin with saying that I think you are an awesome artist. With that said, mind if I pepper it with a small bit of criticism?
A) I can't help but notice that in your fight scenes, there's always a character whose line of sight seems to be divorced from the fight itself. Case in point, the guy doing the capoeira kick seems to be staring at his knee rather than at his opponent
B) Try making your word bubbles a little less verbose, and a little more polished. "This battle is not even necessary!" can just as well be "We don't have to do this!" or "We don't have to fight!". Gospel doesn't look like some starched English aristocrat, and he doesn't need to talk like one.
Anyway, I just wanted to help you out! No cruel intentions here, so don't take this the wrong way!
Good eye...knight_rhythmDecember 9 2008, 18:42:22 UTC
Thank you for pointing out the points in my work that I could improve on... greatly appreciate it!
A) I never even caught that point until you pointed that out! I could have tilled his head back more to make sure Rhythm was looking at his opponent.
B) Yeah, my dialogue needs work, I know at some point, I'll need someone to proof before updating on the site. One of my friends told to have Rhythm either stick with proper English, Slang, or Jamaican accent when speaking. So I probably stick with two style depending on his mood on who he is talking to.
Comments 2
A) I can't help but notice that in your fight scenes, there's always a character whose line of sight seems to be divorced from the fight itself. Case in point, the guy doing the capoeira kick seems to be staring at his knee rather than at his opponent
B) Try making your word bubbles a little less verbose, and a little more polished.
"This battle is not even necessary!" can just as well be "We don't have to do this!" or "We don't have to fight!". Gospel doesn't look like some starched English aristocrat, and he doesn't need to talk like one.
Anyway, I just wanted to help you out! No cruel intentions here, so don't take this the wrong way!
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A) I never even caught that point until you pointed that out! I could have tilled his head back more to make sure Rhythm was looking at his opponent.
B) Yeah, my dialogue needs work, I know at some point, I'll need someone to proof before updating on the site. One of my friends told to have Rhythm either stick with proper English, Slang, or Jamaican accent when speaking. So I probably stick with two style depending on his mood on who he is talking to.
Thanks again!
If you have a chance, drop a line at the official site: http://www.webcomicsnation.com/iriemangastudios/city_lites/series.php
Could use some comments there too!
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