Part 2 of KKBB/Shaggy Dog Prompt
Author: lucritus
Title: Cut You, Hurt You, Ow, Your Nose Is Coming Off
Fandom: KKBB/Shaggy Dog
Pairing: Implied Perry/Harry
Rating: R for language
Prompt: Just watched 'The Shaggy Dog' (at my daycare job-worst place in the world to get dirty thoughts) and please please please, somebody incorporate an infected Dr. Kozak into a fic. PLEASE!!!!!!! It will complete my life! Until I itch for a new idea...
When Perry got to their destination, Kozak stared at the house, nose nearly planted against the window out of curiosity. Harry was careful not to let him get too close. God forbid he got the window dirty. "Welcome to your new home," Harry chimed, opening the car door.
Kozak jumped out, sniffing the ground for any suspicious scents. At least it made sense - what if this was all a trap?
"The dog isn't living with us," came Perry's response while he shut the door and locked up the car. "I agreed that we'd take care of it - her - whatever for a little while and if we don't find an owner, which I know we won't by the way, she's going to the pound."
Kozak sneezed, snapping both their attention on him. He did the innocent head tilt and only wished it didn't only work on people with hearts, or something - Perry wasn't buying it.
"Fine, whatever, but I'll bet Harriet will change your mind sooner or later," Harry muttered as he walked to the door, motioning Kozak to follow him.
"What are you doing?" Perry snapped.
"...going inside?"
"The dog stays outside," Perry said firmly.
"But she needs a bath! We agreed!"
"Harry, we don't even have dog shampoo and I'm not letting that filthy thing on my floors!"
"I'm sure dogs can use baby shampoo or something-" Harry began.
"And you have said product?"
"Yeah, maybe I do! So what?"
Kozak was starting to find this argument boring and wondered if this whole thing was worth it. He laid down on the grass and put his paws over his face, exasperated.
"If you don't want her getting your 'sacred' floors so dirty, I'll carry her into the bathroom," Harry suggested as he crossed his arms. Perry raised an eyebrow.
"Right...like you can carry a dog that size on your own."
Harry seemed pretty determined to prove otherwise as he stalked up closer to Kozak, who he noticed seemed to be hiding himself. "Aww! Perry, look! Our yelling upset her..."
No, you're insanity is just giving me a fucking migraine... Kozak whined.
"Fine, whatever. You know what, Harry? You are purposefully testing my patience today." Perry walked over and knelt down. Harry blinked. "Come on, idiot, you want to carry the dog inside or not?"
Harry's confused expression quickly turned to a goofy grin before he helped Perry lift Kozak, who seemed a bit jarred from the action and yipped in surprise.
This will all be over soon, Kozak told himself. I just have to put up with this for one day - tonight I'll get out of here.
Once inside the bathroom, Perry slammed the door behind Harry. "Until that mutt's completely clean and dry, I don't want her anywhere in the house! And if she does any business either? She's fucking dead."
"All right!" Harry sighed. "I guess Perry's more of a cat person," he muttered as he and Kozak turned to look at each other.
I could have guessed that a mile away. The guy's prissy enough, Kozak muttered in his thoughts. He nearly jumped when the water sprang from the faucet. Harry calmed him down, chuckling. "Sorry, should have warned you, huh?"
You think? Kozak shook his head and huffed as Harry reached up for the shower rod and tested the water. "Well, here we go..." he said while he searched for the baby shampoo. When he came up with the bottle, Kozak shouldn't have really been surprised.
Kozak's coat seemed to be giving Harry some problems while he was washing him, mostly the matted parts of his fur hard to get out. Mud and blood seemed to make its way down the drain and even Harry hadn't missed that detail.
Brown eyes narrowed in concern as he felt through fur and touched scar tissue and healing scabs. Some like.. incisions. Large cuts, precise ones.
"Uh...Perry? Perry!"
Kozak groaned inwardly. Why couldn't these things just go unnoticed?
When the larger man stormed towards the door and swung it open, he paused before he decided to yell. The look of worry on Harry's face made him uncomfortably worried himself. "What?"
"Look," he muttered quietly, lifting one of Kozak's paws, nearly tipping him off balance. Kozak decided to sit down at that point.
Perry fought to roll his eyes and stepped forward, leaning down to have a look. When Harry's thumb left the red scar where no fur was growing and traced over several more around the front legs, Perry was not amused. "I haven't even checked the back legs...or really anywhere else but...Perry...who would do this? These aren't normal."
Kozak peeked over through his soaked fur bangs, unable to see clearly. But he heard right - Harry's voice was shaking.
Perry sighed and put a hand on Harry's back. "She was probably a rescued animal from one of those testing facilities...something like that. Don't worry about it."
"But...but if we bring her to the pound, won't those people get a hold of her again? I can't...Perry, don't tell me you don't care about this!"
Perry's frown deepened and he stared at his friend. He did not want to get Harry worked up and bawling over something like this. Best to just agree with him. For now. "Harry," he sighed. "I'll try to - look more into this, all right? We'll take care of her for as long as we can. The dog looks old anyway..." he didn't finish that last statement. He was not going to have an angsting Harry worrying about a dog's death that hadn't even happened yet.
Just as Perry got up to leave, he heard a quiet "thank you" from Harry before he shut the door.
Kozak didn't know why he did it, not that he should care about these two strange people, but this whole mood was depressing and he did not like it. So he shook himself, water splashing Harry to jolt the guy out of his mood.
"Hey!" Harry yelped before laughing, a smirk on his face before he ruffled the top of Kozak's head. "Yeah, I get it," he chuckled, finishing the rinsing. "You are going to take so long to dry...I hope Perry doesn't mind me using his hair dryer."
Kozak huffed at that, shaking somewhat again. He didn't care what method. Feeling wet like this was uncomfortable. Too much weight on him from the fur.
"Well, he did insist you to be completely dry," Harry shrugged, helping his canine companion out of the tub and onto the floor, first drying him as best he could with a towel.
Drying was a lot more complicated than he thought. At least for Harry. The matted balls of fur in his coat were giving him trouble in brushing him, so Harry resorted in cutting them out. At least - well, he had a lot of fur. Kozak swore though, that once he was back being human and if he found a bald spot, there would be hell to pay.
The rest of the day was pretty much Harry and Perry arguing over something stupid, and the fact they didn't have dog food and Harry was feeding Kozak scraps. That apparently didn't sit well with Perry. Eventually the man gave in and let Kozak have some left over pieces of steak, which was fine by him. His only complaint was that they were cold.
When it came to the evening, Kozak should have seen the next conversation coming. Kozak was nearly asleep on the floor, eyes barely open. He knew he shouldn't fall asleep, couldn't. Not with them around. He always changed back in his sleep.
Harry walked up to him then and knelt to pet him, smiling just as sleepily. "I think it's time we went to bed, huh?"
Perry raised an eyebrow and looked over from his laptop. "If you want to sleep with that dog, you're not going to bed with me tonight. You get the couch. The dog isn't allowed on it."
"Aw, come on, Per," Harry pouted, but Perry would have none of that and closed his laptop up before he walked past the two of them.
"Not this time, idiot. And if I come down stairs in the morning and that dog is on the couch with you..." he let his threat to be decided on. He liked to watch Harry squirm, thinking about it. "Got it?"
Harry gave in and nodded. No way he could win every battle with Perry.
Kozak lifted a furry eyebrow in response to this, looking up. They normally slept together? Okay, they were obviously not just friends. He really didn't need to think about that.
"Come on, Harriet, don't let him be a spoil sport," Harry said quietly when Perry was out of earshot and sight. Kozak grunted but got up. No point in fighting the enthusiasm in this guy. It was ridiculous.
Harry unfolded the blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch and patted the cushion next to him. Kozak sighed inwardly and jumped up onto it. Well, at least Perry wouldn't be able to do anything worse to him than those scientists back at the facility.
He didn't protest when Harry literally snuggled him. He might as well let the guy have his time with "Harriet", seeing as Kozak was ready to escape out of there the second the moron was asleep.
Of course, he needed to sleep a little as well, to be human again and steal the things he needed. So a little nap wouldn't hurt.
Kozak shut his heavy eyelids finally while Harry ran his fingers through the soft fur on top of his head, eventually falling asleep around the same time.
Kozak never did wake up at the time he wanted to - and still wasn't awake when Harry started to stir.
Harry found it odd that he felt like there was a heavier weight on him than there had been when he had fallen asleep. His hand that had been petting Harriet was still against something soft - but it wasn't exactly the same. His first thought was that Perry had joined them - but that would have been kind of difficult. The couch was big, sure, but not that big.
That and whatever it was didn't smell like Perry. It smelled like baby shampoo. He turned his head a little to get a good look, squinting from the morning rays peeking through the blinds.
Okay, well, this was not Harriet. Or a dog at all for that matter. Harry stared, unable to really say a word at this point. He couldn't even really move.
There was, well, how could he put it? There was a naked man on top of him, and if Harry looked closer, the man also had a tail. One very similar to Harriet's.
His first initial thought was that this guy ate his dog - but that was far fetched even for Harry. That or he was still dreaming and that it was one fucked up dream - because the guy also looked a lot like him actually from what he could see...and that was really weird.
"Fuck..."
It didn't help matters that the obviously still asleep stranger was nuzzling into his hand, which he had yet to pull away. But what if he did and the guy woke up? Then things would get really awkward and Harry was fine with just this level of awkward which was a lot of awkward - and shit, Harry was so going to be fucked when Perry made it down into the living room.
"How the hell can I explain this? Some fucked up version of the Swan Princess? Fuck!" Harry hissed at himself, stilling when the stranger started stirring a bit. "Don't wake up...don't wake up..." Like that ever worked.
And as per usual, Fate loved to fuck with Harry and, well, the guy woke up.
Title: Cut You, Hurt You, Ow, Your Nose Is Coming Off
Fandom: KKBB/Shaggy Dog
Pairing: Implied Perry/Harry
Rating: R for language
Prompt: Just watched 'The Shaggy Dog' (at my daycare job-worst place in the world to get dirty thoughts) and please please please, somebody incorporate an infected Dr. Kozak into a fic. PLEASE!!!!!!! It will complete my life! Until I itch for a new idea...
When Perry got to their destination, Kozak stared at the house, nose nearly planted against the window out of curiosity. Harry was careful not to let him get too close. God forbid he got the window dirty. "Welcome to your new home," Harry chimed, opening the car door.
Kozak jumped out, sniffing the ground for any suspicious scents. At least it made sense - what if this was all a trap?
"The dog isn't living with us," came Perry's response while he shut the door and locked up the car. "I agreed that we'd take care of it - her - whatever for a little while and if we don't find an owner, which I know we won't by the way, she's going to the pound."
Kozak sneezed, snapping both their attention on him. He did the innocent head tilt and only wished it didn't only work on people with hearts, or something - Perry wasn't buying it.
"Fine, whatever, but I'll bet Harriet will change your mind sooner or later," Harry muttered as he walked to the door, motioning Kozak to follow him.
"What are you doing?" Perry snapped.
"...going inside?"
"The dog stays outside," Perry said firmly.
"But she needs a bath! We agreed!"
"Harry, we don't even have dog shampoo and I'm not letting that filthy thing on my floors!"
"I'm sure dogs can use baby shampoo or something-" Harry began.
"And you have said product?"
"Yeah, maybe I do! So what?"
Kozak was starting to find this argument boring and wondered if this whole thing was worth it. He laid down on the grass and put his paws over his face, exasperated.
"If you don't want her getting your 'sacred' floors so dirty, I'll carry her into the bathroom," Harry suggested as he crossed his arms. Perry raised an eyebrow.
"Right...like you can carry a dog that size on your own."
Harry seemed pretty determined to prove otherwise as he stalked up closer to Kozak, who he noticed seemed to be hiding himself. "Aww! Perry, look! Our yelling upset her..."
No, you're insanity is just giving me a fucking migraine... Kozak whined.
"Fine, whatever. You know what, Harry? You are purposefully testing my patience today." Perry walked over and knelt down. Harry blinked. "Come on, idiot, you want to carry the dog inside or not?"
Harry's confused expression quickly turned to a goofy grin before he helped Perry lift Kozak, who seemed a bit jarred from the action and yipped in surprise.
This will all be over soon, Kozak told himself. I just have to put up with this for one day - tonight I'll get out of here.
Once inside the bathroom, Perry slammed the door behind Harry. "Until that mutt's completely clean and dry, I don't want her anywhere in the house! And if she does any business either? She's fucking dead."
"All right!" Harry sighed. "I guess Perry's more of a cat person," he muttered as he and Kozak turned to look at each other.
I could have guessed that a mile away. The guy's prissy enough, Kozak muttered in his thoughts. He nearly jumped when the water sprang from the faucet. Harry calmed him down, chuckling. "Sorry, should have warned you, huh?"
You think? Kozak shook his head and huffed as Harry reached up for the shower rod and tested the water. "Well, here we go..." he said while he searched for the baby shampoo. When he came up with the bottle, Kozak shouldn't have really been surprised.
Kozak's coat seemed to be giving Harry some problems while he was washing him, mostly the matted parts of his fur hard to get out. Mud and blood seemed to make its way down the drain and even Harry hadn't missed that detail.
Brown eyes narrowed in concern as he felt through fur and touched scar tissue and healing scabs. Some like.. incisions. Large cuts, precise ones.
"Uh...Perry? Perry!"
Kozak groaned inwardly. Why couldn't these things just go unnoticed?
When the larger man stormed towards the door and swung it open, he paused before he decided to yell. The look of worry on Harry's face made him uncomfortably worried himself. "What?"
"Look," he muttered quietly, lifting one of Kozak's paws, nearly tipping him off balance. Kozak decided to sit down at that point.
Perry fought to roll his eyes and stepped forward, leaning down to have a look. When Harry's thumb left the red scar where no fur was growing and traced over several more around the front legs, Perry was not amused. "I haven't even checked the back legs...or really anywhere else but...Perry...who would do this? These aren't normal."
Kozak peeked over through his soaked fur bangs, unable to see clearly. But he heard right - Harry's voice was shaking.
Perry sighed and put a hand on Harry's back. "She was probably a rescued animal from one of those testing facilities...something like that. Don't worry about it."
"But...but if we bring her to the pound, won't those people get a hold of her again? I can't...Perry, don't tell me you don't care about this!"
Perry's frown deepened and he stared at his friend. He did not want to get Harry worked up and bawling over something like this. Best to just agree with him. For now. "Harry," he sighed. "I'll try to - look more into this, all right? We'll take care of her for as long as we can. The dog looks old anyway..." he didn't finish that last statement. He was not going to have an angsting Harry worrying about a dog's death that hadn't even happened yet.
Just as Perry got up to leave, he heard a quiet "thank you" from Harry before he shut the door.
Kozak didn't know why he did it, not that he should care about these two strange people, but this whole mood was depressing and he did not like it. So he shook himself, water splashing Harry to jolt the guy out of his mood.
"Hey!" Harry yelped before laughing, a smirk on his face before he ruffled the top of Kozak's head. "Yeah, I get it," he chuckled, finishing the rinsing. "You are going to take so long to dry...I hope Perry doesn't mind me using his hair dryer."
Kozak huffed at that, shaking somewhat again. He didn't care what method. Feeling wet like this was uncomfortable. Too much weight on him from the fur.
"Well, he did insist you to be completely dry," Harry shrugged, helping his canine companion out of the tub and onto the floor, first drying him as best he could with a towel.
Drying was a lot more complicated than he thought. At least for Harry. The matted balls of fur in his coat were giving him trouble in brushing him, so Harry resorted in cutting them out. At least - well, he had a lot of fur. Kozak swore though, that once he was back being human and if he found a bald spot, there would be hell to pay.
The rest of the day was pretty much Harry and Perry arguing over something stupid, and the fact they didn't have dog food and Harry was feeding Kozak scraps. That apparently didn't sit well with Perry. Eventually the man gave in and let Kozak have some left over pieces of steak, which was fine by him. His only complaint was that they were cold.
When it came to the evening, Kozak should have seen the next conversation coming. Kozak was nearly asleep on the floor, eyes barely open. He knew he shouldn't fall asleep, couldn't. Not with them around. He always changed back in his sleep.
Harry walked up to him then and knelt to pet him, smiling just as sleepily. "I think it's time we went to bed, huh?"
Perry raised an eyebrow and looked over from his laptop. "If you want to sleep with that dog, you're not going to bed with me tonight. You get the couch. The dog isn't allowed on it."
"Aw, come on, Per," Harry pouted, but Perry would have none of that and closed his laptop up before he walked past the two of them.
"Not this time, idiot. And if I come down stairs in the morning and that dog is on the couch with you..." he let his threat to be decided on. He liked to watch Harry squirm, thinking about it. "Got it?"
Harry gave in and nodded. No way he could win every battle with Perry.
Kozak lifted a furry eyebrow in response to this, looking up. They normally slept together? Okay, they were obviously not just friends. He really didn't need to think about that.
"Come on, Harriet, don't let him be a spoil sport," Harry said quietly when Perry was out of earshot and sight. Kozak grunted but got up. No point in fighting the enthusiasm in this guy. It was ridiculous.
Harry unfolded the blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch and patted the cushion next to him. Kozak sighed inwardly and jumped up onto it. Well, at least Perry wouldn't be able to do anything worse to him than those scientists back at the facility.
He didn't protest when Harry literally snuggled him. He might as well let the guy have his time with "Harriet", seeing as Kozak was ready to escape out of there the second the moron was asleep.
Of course, he needed to sleep a little as well, to be human again and steal the things he needed. So a little nap wouldn't hurt.
Kozak shut his heavy eyelids finally while Harry ran his fingers through the soft fur on top of his head, eventually falling asleep around the same time.
Kozak never did wake up at the time he wanted to - and still wasn't awake when Harry started to stir.
Harry found it odd that he felt like there was a heavier weight on him than there had been when he had fallen asleep. His hand that had been petting Harriet was still against something soft - but it wasn't exactly the same. His first thought was that Perry had joined them - but that would have been kind of difficult. The couch was big, sure, but not that big.
That and whatever it was didn't smell like Perry. It smelled like baby shampoo. He turned his head a little to get a good look, squinting from the morning rays peeking through the blinds.
Okay, well, this was not Harriet. Or a dog at all for that matter. Harry stared, unable to really say a word at this point. He couldn't even really move.
There was, well, how could he put it? There was a naked man on top of him, and if Harry looked closer, the man also had a tail. One very similar to Harriet's.
His first initial thought was that this guy ate his dog - but that was far fetched even for Harry. That or he was still dreaming and that it was one fucked up dream - because the guy also looked a lot like him actually from what he could see...and that was really weird.
"Fuck..."
It didn't help matters that the obviously still asleep stranger was nuzzling into his hand, which he had yet to pull away. But what if he did and the guy woke up? Then things would get really awkward and Harry was fine with just this level of awkward which was a lot of awkward - and shit, Harry was so going to be fucked when Perry made it down into the living room.
"How the hell can I explain this? Some fucked up version of the Swan Princess? Fuck!" Harry hissed at himself, stilling when the stranger started stirring a bit. "Don't wake up...don't wake up..." Like that ever worked.
And as per usual, Fate loved to fuck with Harry and, well, the guy woke up.