fic for wooden_buttons (2/2)
Part 1
_____
He ponders about the kiss while he is taking his bath. He thinks that it should have never happened because maybe, Jin doesn't swing that way. Maybe Jin was just blinded by the situation and so he ended up kissing him. The way Jin had acted when he drove them back to Hamamatsu-jo led him to that conclusion and it left an ugly feeling that rendered him jittery and muddled in his seat.
Kame stares at his hands, at his fingers that caressed Jin’s lips and curled into Jin’s hair as they kissed earlier. Still befuddled with his thoughts, he inhales deeply before he slides and submerges himself into the warm water, eyes closed and letting out little bubbles of air to come to the surface as he lay deep in the tub, trying to drown those unwanted thoughts that prick at his heart. He wouldn't want Jin to distance himself from him just because of the incident.
No, he doesn’t want that.
_____
Kame ties his robe and stares into the mirror. He’s still the same; fair skin, brown eyes, dark lashes, crooked nose, and thin lips. He’s still him and yet, he feels he’s changed into someone he doesn’t know. There are still those familiar traces of him but there’s something entirely new, something he couldn’t put his finger on.
We meet people because we are destined to meet them...
Kame shakes his head at the thought and convinces himself that it's impossible. It’s impossible for someone to change in a short span of time and it’s definitely impossible to develop feelings of the intimate kind for someone he's only just met. He ends up questioning himself - what if meeting Jin is a predetermined event; something inevitable and necessary in his life?
The idea only frustrates him because he knows he's lying to himself, saying it shouldn’t affect him, when his fucking heart aches so badly when he thinks of leaving Jin a few days from now. He shouldn’t feel anything like this, like something akin to despair and excruciating sadness that creeps into his heart. But he does. Kame doesn’t know who to blame for turning what should be a plain and simple friendship into something deeper and complicated.
With a last heavy sigh, Kame ignores the nagging feeling inside him and turns to leave the bathroom only to be shoved back inside and he hears a definite click.
He isn't able to speak as he's pressed against the wall and his lips are already sealed with a plump pair. It's soft, a bit chapped, but it becomes addictive against his lips. It doesn't take a genius to know that it's Jin so he gives in and kisses back; the kiss is wet and demanding before they gradually change to mere touching of skin against skin. They give each other chaste, feather-like kisses like fools, like awkward and hesitant highschool boys making out with their newfound girlfriend.
Kame giggles when Jin briefly lets go of his lips and feels Jin smiling against the contours of his own, only to close his eyes and sigh softly as Jin drops kisses all over his face.
Jin draws away a little to lean his forehead against Kame's. Their breathing is shallow, their chests rising and falling in a rhythm. He strokes Kame's cheek, gently and tenderly. It’s Kame who tilts his head a little to press his lips once again against his. This time their kiss tastes desperate and sweet.
"Jin," Kame pants when they break apart. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I'm sure," Jin whispers truthfully against Kame's mouth, pressing his lips on Kame's again. He meets Kame's eyes and thinks they're more beautiful than before - there are a bit of sparkles against the colour of cinnamon and a hazy cloud of lust. "I'm sure that I want this."
"I want you, Kazuya."
Kame realizes in that moment that he needs this in the same way Jin does.
"No turning back?" he whispers and brushes his lips against Jin's. His hand moves under Jin's shirt, feeling the heated skin beneath the fabric. "Won't you regret this?" he mutters under his breath as his fingers brush lightly against Jin's left nipple.
Jin pulls on Kame's right hand that's roaming his chest to hold it against his heart. "Trust me, I know what I’m getting myself into," he whispers, breathing warm breaths on the soft spot behind Kame's ear. Kame ends up kissing Jin for the second time.
There are no words spoken between them anymore, and it doesn't take long for Kame's robe to be forgotten on the floor and Jin's clothes to have formed a small pile in a corner of the bathroom. Their hands roaming, feeling the smooth and hard planes and curves their skin could touch. Jin kisses back when Kame leans in to kiss him, soft and gentle at first, then growing more demanding as teeth lightly bite on Jin’s lower lip for a response. Kame reaches up with both hands, lacing his fingers together at the back of Jin's neck, pulling Jin to him and deepening the kiss.
He bites his lower lip to muffle his moan when Jin's lips descend to the curve of his neck and go further down to take a taut nipple inside his mouth. He arches into Jin with every teasing flick of Jin's tongue, teeth grazing gently on his skin. Kame wraps his arms tighter around Jin, fingers curling at the tips of Jin's hair that rests on his nape down to the broad shoulders, his arms cascade down to trace the bumps of Jin's spine that lightly protrude from Jin's sinewy back. Kame thinks Jin has a well-defined body; lean and muscular, soft and hard in the appropriate places.
Jin feels Kame. Kame is warm, panting, sweaty and pressing against him. He thinks Kame is perfect.
Kame kisses him again and he buries his face on Kame's shoulder when he feels a hand stroking his length. It escalates his arousal, even more so when the tips of Kame's fingers brush on the underside of his cock. He opens his mouth, teeth clenching around the flesh on Kame's shoulder to stop himself from moaning out loud when Kame thumbs the tip of his cock. Kame is good with his hands and lips and hips, and when he feels him rubbing against him as he grinds down on Kame their erections rub together and he feels himself nearing release as Kame strokes him a few more times. He comes shuddering and Kame swallows his moan in a deep kiss.
Jin is still panting really hard and doesn't know if it's because of the intensity of his orgasm or because Kame has sucked all the air out of his lungs through his kisses.
"God, you're good…and hot," he manages to say when he's calmed down, lips pressing briefly on Kame's own.
"I know." Kame feels kind of smug as he smirks, fingers trailing ever so teasingly on Jin's collarbones and when Jin's lips part open to gasp, he slips his tongue in and tastes Jin for the nth time. Kissing Jin has become highly addictive for him.
When Jin takes over, Kame thinks the world is nearing its end because the pleasure he is subjected to renders him breathless. His hands make their way to the top of Jin's head, fisting lustrous hair, but careful enough not to tear them from Jin's head. He wouldn't want him to bitch about it and be left hanging with a painful fucking hard-on.
Jin is down on his knees, one hand resting on Kame’s hip, the other stroking his length. His mouth is warm and wet around Kame’s length, his teeth scraping slightly on the shaft. Kame bucks his hip when Jin sucks him a bit too hard. He watches Jin work on him; full lips around his length, taking him in deeper. He hears his moans, raw, raspy and lust-filled, resounding from the walls of the bathroom. When he feels the uncoiling begin in the pits of his stomach, he tries to pull Jin up to kiss him but Jin doesn't move from his place. Instead, Jin glances at him with his eyes smoldering and teasing. He could feel the tip of Jin’s tongue pressing on the tip of his cock and he grunts, muscles in his body spasm as he comes undone inside Jin’s mouth when Jin sucked on him hard. When Jin finally stands on his feet, he is still tingly and shuddering a little, but Jin still kisses him full on the lips.
"This could be a good prelude." Kame's breath brushes over Jin's sweaty shoulder as he leans all of his weight on the other, tired yet satiated. "
Yeah, prelude," Jin agrees, dropping a kiss on Kame's temple before he grabs the younger male by the wrist, leading him out to the bedroom. "But the futon is waiting for the main act." Kame laughs but the sounds eventually drown into low, breathy moans when their foreplay begins.
Under the moonlight, silhouettes of two bodies becoming one are the only décor printed on the wall.
_____
New York, USA
It's the last week of April, three months since he woke up alone in Hamamatsu-jo. He's now back in New York, having another lazy afternoon. He decides to open a folder in his desktop, trying to relive the times he spent in Tokyo and Shizuoka. The memories make his lips curl into a bitter smile.
"Kame-chan," Taguchi's voice breaks through his reverie. "Ueda-kun's inviting us out tomorrow. Clubbing, I guess."
"That's nice," he replies. "But I can't. I've something to do tomorrow night but you're free to go with them if you want."
"Okay," Taguchi says and turns his attention back to his computer. "You sure you don't want to come? It'll be nice, I think. We haven't gone out for a while now."
"I'll be fine. Besides, I’ve got work to do tomorrow morning."
"Don't you ever get tired of working?"
"You know that I do," Kame answers in all honesty but his voice doesn't bear any hint of weariness.
"It's not obvious though," Taguchi says. "You've been working yourself to exhaustion since you came back. Worse, you don't even laugh at my jokes anymore." he shrugs; voice a bit depressed and doesn't notice Kame raising his brows, grimacing even.
Taguchi suddenly stretches, yawning before he says, "Give me a call if ever you change your mind. I've got to go now."
He watches Taguchi collect his things and leave with a bright smile and his hand waving goodbye. When Taguchi closes the door, he leans back on his chair, reaching for his mobile and dials a number. "What time are we going to meet for dinner tomorrow?" he asks when his call is answered then hangs up, despite the whines on the other line after he's listed down the name of the restaurant.
Before leaving his studio, Kame takes hold of the glossy, black-coloured ticket lying on his desk and scans it as briefly as he could. It's elegant-looking with petals of the Sakura tree accenting the card, the letters embossed in gold ink. Kame read the characters 赤西 仁.
Maybe seeing Jin for the last time is the closest he'd get to some form of closure.
_____
Kame is dressed in an elegant black suit. The restaurant is classy, cozy and is known to offer authentic Italian dishes and fine wine. The Italian trattoria is decorated with gold, russet and brown colours along with rustic, wooden furniture. He has to give credit to Pi for choosing such a nice place. Besides, he doesn't expect less from a model who poses for high-end fashion brands in both Japan and the US.
"Ah, you're finally here!"
He takes his seat and casually leans back on the cushioned backrest. "It seems I am, Pi," he replies, opting to call the other by his pet name.
Yamashita Tomohisa smiles and pours wine for the younger man. "I've already taken care of our orders. Hope you don't mind."
"As long as it doesn't have tomatoes in it."
"Of course it doesn't have any!" Yamapi gasps in genuine horror. "Do you seriously think I'd forget?"
He shrugs. “I just know you would,” he says nonchalantly and studies his friend under his lashes. He likes his best friend, Pi. He's laid-back and usually funny and he likes him because he's smart and can talk for ages, even if the latter is only applicable to people the great Yamashita Tomohisa knows. He also knows and is aware, that at one point in time, he had loved his best friend.
"It's not like I intend to! Besides, this is an Italian restaurant, Kame. You don't expect them to use squid as the main ingredient." Pi then chortles. "Ah, it's been a while since we hang out together, right?"
"A while?" Kame snorts. "Pi, you do realize that the last time we went out together was six months ago, right?"
Yamapi shrugs. "Well, work has been a bitch lately. And besides, it's not like I didn't get in contact with you in those times!"
"Tell me about it. I just had a break myself."
"Where did you go? Paris again?"
Kame shakes his head. "Japan, actually."
"Japan?" Yamapi contemplates on the thought. "You should've told me. We could've gone home together. But anyway, how was your trip?"
Kame’s fingers curl into the cut-rimmed glass, bring it up to his lips and then he takes a long, quiet sip before he starts telling Pi about his trip, complete with laughter in between and details of the places he'd been to. There’s no point in hiding things from Pi anyway.
Pi watches Kame move his hands in an animated fashion as he speaks. He listens and couldn't help but notice the tinge of sadness that crosses Kame's eyes whenever he mentions this person named Jin he met in Shizuoka. He knows that Kame's trying to hide it but right now Kame's failing at what he usually does best. He's known Kame long enough, since Kame was fourteen actually, to know how Kame functions and he also knows that he has to know more about that person rather than some old castle, Japanese gardens, and koi ponds.
"Say Kame," he says when he's finally had the opportunity to interrupt. "Mind telling me more about this friend you've met? He seems interesting." When Kame gives him a small smile for an answer, Pi knows that that's something his friend doesn't want to talk about. Yet.
But he is stubborn. Kame should know that himself. He’s the kind of person who wants to know everything. Pi is nosy and can get really obnoxious, especially when it comes to a friend.
Pi nudges Kame in the knee with his shoe. Kame gives him an annoyed stare.
"I'll kill you if I see even a tiny smudge of dirt on my pants."
"Well, you are not getting away from me either," Pi replies instead after he swallows a piece of meat. "I'm just letting you know."
"We're only having dinner. It's not like I'm staying with you overnight."
"Nah-uh." Pi wiggles a finger at Kame, reaching for his goblet and taking a long sip of his wine. "There's a reason why you told me to buy you a ticket for tonight's exhibit at the garden. I'm tagging along."
"I didn't even ask you to," Kame says, pushing the tomato to the side of his plate.
"I didn't even ask you to," Pi imitates his friend. "There's something fishy in here and you know that I like fishy things."
"Fishy?"
"I'm guessing that you're somehow involved with this Japanese painter. You've never been into paintings, Kame. You find them absolutely absurd!" Yamapi is looking incredibly smug. "And you said you went to Japan and you met this Jin there. The painter is from Japan and his first name is Jin and you asked me to get you a ticket for the exhibit. That is one fishy thing, Kame, and fishy things add spark in my oh-so-boring life!"
"Whatever, Pi." Kame rolls his eyes.
"Like duh, Kame."
Yamapi smirks when Kame ignores him. Yes, he knows Kame very well indeed.
_____
赤西 仁: Romantic Delusions Under the Cherry Trees
April 27, 2011 - 8:00pm - 11:00 pm
"A one-night-only event, huh?" Kame mutters under his breath as he stares at the voucher he has in his hands.
"Yo, Kazu-chan, let's go!"
He looks ahead of him and sees Pi by the entrance, handing his own ticket to the Japanese lady wearing an authentic kimono who greets him with a warm smile and a 'konbanwa, Yamashita-san.'
Kame rolls his eyes when Pi suddenly, and not-so-subtly, flirted with the girl whose cheeks then turn pink, like cherry blossoms at full peak. When he reaches the entrance, he hits Pi on the back of his head and hands the lady his ticket.
Yamapi leaves him alone as soon as they get in, saying something about stalking a French woman.
_____
The garden is beautiful and Kame wishes he had brought his camera with him. The Sakura trees are in full bloom, slender tendrils gently swaying with the night wind. The blossoms appear to be white in the bright lights that light the garden where the exhibit is being held.
The paintings are supported by display easels that are ornately carved in wood and coloured in a soft mahogany. They vary in size to accommodate each and every painting placed under the cherry trees. Two bluish, almost white lights lay on the ground, centered and focused on every painting. Kame thinks he has been transported back to Japan because most paintings are inspired by the Hanami in different regions of Japan; one even has Mt. Fuji with the evening sky as its background. There are also two pieces that show Japanese temples, Kame remembers one to be the shrine he'd visited in Hamamatsu. He walks some more and stops at a painting he finds to be intriguing.
"That’s a turtle," Kame hears a voice from behind him. "It's a turtle and this one here is a panda." He follows the dainty finger that points at the canvas where whites and blacks are prominent.
He turns and he sees Jin looking good and sexy as hell in his slim-fit, black blazer, white V-neck undershirt paired with dark-washed jeans that aren't too tight nor too loose. His curls are gone now but he thinks that Jin’s new hairstyle suits him really well. Jin looks neat and fresh. He's got a small loop earring on his left ear and a silver necklace dangles around his neck, the pendant settling just above the hollow space between his collarbones.
They fall silent though, no one daring to speak as they stare at each other. Jin tries to read Kame’s face; tries to decipher the younger man’s expression. It was blank yet still with that familiar elegant beauty that haunts his dreams at night. Seeing Kame again is something he has longed for. He actually wanted to follow him as soon as he learnt that Kame had left Hamamtsu-jo but couldn’t until today, because he knew he needed time to be certain of his feelings for the younger male.
When Kame left, it felt as if his world had shattered, as if the sun had just crashed down upon him, with that feeling of dread and heartbreaking desolation. He has had relationships in the past but had never felt anything like that before. He misses everything about Kame and the sheer knowledge that he wouldn’t be able to be with Kame anymore scares him. Those thoughts are cruel. They twist into claws of ice that stab deep into his chest. The aching in his heart, the certain sadness he has, had never been relieved since then, not until he caught sight of Kame today.
He would have never guessed that he’d have something, cliché as it may sound, like that of a whirlwind romance. And with a guy.
"Why paint something like that and call it a masterpiece?" Kame finds himself asking, eyes no longer gazing at Jin but back at the painting. "Ne, Jin, are those teardrops?" He refers to the light brushes of colours that trail from the panda’s eyes down to its cheeks.
"Yeah," Jin confirms. "The panda's crying because the turtle has left."
"Why would he cry? It’s not like they can be together in the first place." Kame, sometimes, doesn’t really understand art nor how the minds of artists work.
"Exactly,” Jin replies.
“Exactly?”
“Because, maybe, the panda fell in love with someone he really shouldn't have."
_____
Kame feels uncomfortable now that he has Jin walking next to him. It feels awkward and there's a tension so thick between them that he wishes he could make a knife appear and break it in half. Or maybe cut it until it disappears completely. He doesn't know how he should react exactly. But he knows that he just couldn't greet Jin and kiss him the next minute even if he had missed Jin.
"Kame," Jin calls out softly, reaching a hand out to hold Kame's. "Can we ta-"
"Kazu?" Jin instantly retreats his hand. Kame turns only to see Yamapi behind him.
Jin doesn’t like the way the new guy called Kame, Kazu. He doesn’t like the close proximity between Kame and the new guy. He especially doesn’t like it when the new guy holds Kame’s hand and laces their fingers together. The gesture breaks him inside.
Did he make Kame wait for too long?
And that’s when he realizes that Kame didn’t even know if they would be able to meet again because in retrospect, it was the panda that first left and not the turtle.
"Kazu, is he your friend?" Yamapi's voice is curious but there’s that hint of coldness. He wants to show the man that he’s possessive, even if it’s just a show.
"Pi, he’s the friend I talked to you about. He’s Jin. From Japan, remember?" Kame says, trying to discreetly tug his hand away from his friend’s hold but Yamapi’s grip only tightens.
Yamapi ignores Kame’s attempts of freeing his hand as he nods and looks straight into Jin’s eyes, giving the man a small smile.
“Thank you for looking after, Kazuya.”
“It was nothing.” Jin’s voice is quiet and as he stares at both men, he feels something akin to... jealousy. And he hates how it’s creeping up on him.
When Yamapi glances at Jin again, there’s hurt looming in the man’s eyes. Maybe, he's really gifted, Yamapi thinks, because he gets everything spot on. An idea crosses his mind and he turns to face Kame.
"Hey baby, I've to make a call," Yamapi tells the younger male, voice soft and sweet; affectionate. "You can catch up with your friend here. I’ll be back soon." He leans in and presses his lips on Kame’s forehead, feeling Kame go stiff in his arms. He bids Jin and his friend a ‘see you later’ before he walks away, making sure that the distance between him and Kame and Jin isn't really that far.
The minute Pi is gone, the tension between Kame and Jin rises again.
"What was it that you wanted to say?" Kame asks, finally finding his voice. He'll think of ways of how to make Pi suffer an agonizing death once he's done with Jin.
"Is he your boyfriend?" Jin knows he sounds impatient and demanding.
Kame looks straight into Jin's eyes and there's that little voice inside his head telling him to say no and try to talk to Jin about why he left. But when he remembers what Jin did, Kame decides it’s better to leave things the way they are. Maybe Jin isn’t ready.
Maybe he isn’t ready.
"Yes, he is," he answers. His answer soothes his wounded ego but not the yearning heart inside his chest.
Jin just nods his head slowly, as if he understood everything even if he’s trying to hide the fact that his throat hurt and he feels like crying.
When Kame says he has to go, Jin remembers the image of the hurting panda he created and he discreetly wipes that warm moisture that has gathered in his eyes. They're not tears; Jin tries to convince himself, because men don't cry.
_____
"Pi?"
Yamapi lazily peels himself away from the tree, faking a show of pocketing his phone. "You done talking with him?" he asks and when Kame nods slightly, Pi drapes an arm around Kame's shoulder because there's an empty look in Kame's eyes that seems to creep inside of him.
“I had sex with him, Pi.”
Yamapi just chuckles. “See? I told you you’d always fall for Japanese guys. Pretty ones, too.” He pats Kame on the shoulder. “You guys are like gay and lesbian porn in one.” He tries to fight the fits of giggles from erupting but Kame’s smile didn’t even reach his eyes.
”It will be alright, Kazu.”
It will be alright…
_____
"Hey Kame, my manager just sent me a message. Said we need to talk tonight about that gig in Tokyo," Yamapi says suddenly, fingers busy fiddling with the screen of his phone as he types his reply. "I have to go now."
"We can go home together," Kame answers, eyes directed to Pi's. "I've seen enough anyways."
"Don't let me spoil the fun," Yamapi says, patting the younger man on the head. "I'm sure there are still lots you haven't seen. I'll be alright. I'll give you a call once I'm with my manager if you want."
"But-"
"But for now, I've to go." Yamapi shifts and gives Kame a brotherly hug before he flees.
Kame sighs, thinking whether he should follow Pi and leave as well. He is left wondering while his feet start moving and his eyes scrutinize each and every painting he sees.
_____
The paintings under the The Eternal Collection are all beautiful. The swirls of different colours and the vivid, brilliant images awaken something inside him and constrict whatever it is that is essential to his breathing. They are all familiar to him - the scenes in the paintings. Kame's heart thuds wildly inside his chest as his eyes fall on that familiar painting he's seen in the garden way back when he was in Hamamatsu.
It was Reio's.
He hastens his pace to the next set of paintings and sees the places he's been to. The golden waterfall, the beach, the garden and castle; everything is not making sense in his head.
His heart jumps when he sees a portrait of a little girl. There is a tiny hint of a sunny smile in her face, her cheeks rosy. In the painting, the little girl appears to be standing in front of the bushes, dark shades of green colouring the leaves behind her, making her stand out in her gold and white taffeta dress, the bloomy sleeves making her shoulders broader than they really are. She is looking down to the apple she has in her tiny hands and her hair is falling freely down to her shoulders, a narrow brush of red on top of her head makes for a hairband. He knows the little girl pretty well and he would always recognize her even if a part of her life has been preserved using oil on cloth.
____
Women and men have gathered to that last painting that is still covered and draped with a white fabric. Everyone appears to be curious, whispers and speculations about the painting echoes in his ears and he wonders what is so special about it. He empties his glass of champagne and gets another one when he gets the chance.
When time seems to pass slowly, he loses himself in his own world, thinking about the collection of paintings he's just seen and Akanishi Jin. To say that everything that's happening right now is just a plain coincidence would be a bit too absurd.
He knows better than to blame it all on coincidence.
A voice echoes softly in the area and he is taken out of his little world when he hears it, telling them that the time has come for the last piece to be revealed. He shifts in his place, feeling anxious and excited for the piece to be unraveled. He fixes his eyes on the covered artwork and his heart stops when he sees Jin taking his place next to the painting, fingers curling on the silken sheet and slowly, very slowly, removing it so everyone can see what is being hidden from their eyes.
When the fabric finally comes off, Kame's eyes widen, his jaw drops and he feels himself stop breathing.
____
The composition of the painting can often create the power a painting has, by having unity, harmony or contrast. Paintings are prized and are treasured because they can capture a moment in time and possess it forever. The masterpieces have always been a symbol of stature, class, culture, and education and the subjects have their own social meaning.
"This nude painting entitled Kizuna is chosen to be the finest piece in the exhibit because according to Akanishi-san, the painting stood out among the others. He claims that this hyper realistic painting reveals a multitude of characteristics and tastes. This painting has captured reality and fantasy and is truly a romantic delusion to others…"
The voice trails off because Kame doesn't understand it all. All he knows is that the portrait is solemn and true with the style the painter has used to penetrate the painting, fill it with emotions only a few could understand. The excellent blends of textures are sure to capture everyone's attention.
In his eyes, the painting is enchanting, intimate, and heartbreaking because painted on the canvas are two naked men, an exact replica of him and Jin.
Jin had painted him leaning against the wall, arms wrapping around Jin. Jin has his face half-buried in the crook of his neck, a palm pressing against the wall beside his head and the other is resting on the side of his hip where his pelvic bone protrudes. They are naked, portions of their anatomy in shadows, relatively unfinished from below the hip. The colours are well-blended, from the blacks and browns of their bodies to the créme-coloured wall. There is a great blending of light to dark. In truth, it is the outline, form, and shape of Jin's body that are open for public scrutiny but he feels he's the one who's more exposed - inner-life and emotion-wise - even if half of his face is darkened and shaded. It allowed people to catch a glimpse of his feelings for Jin. The details of his face showed how much he’s attuned to Jin and Jin to him.
The painting is a full-blown artwork of detail and sensual provocation, from Jin's broad and toned back to his closed eyes and slightly-parted lips, from the stray wisps of their hair to the way their pinkies have linked. It's a work where intimate feelings and lust have been taken in and preserved.
It is a compendium of a love story and scandal, of intrigue and romance.
He doesn't know how long he’s been holding his breath but when he exhales, he does it slowly. With this secret unraveled, he thinks that the world has changed. It's making him feel dizzy and jaded and he feels the need to walk away from the undecided crowd even if most of them are awed, others quiet, some gaping and shocked, probably thinking that the painting is ludicrous.
Kame thinks it's perfect.
____
Jin sees Kame walking away. The crowd is curious of his art and he answers some inquiries before excusing himself in the most polite manner he could. He makes sure that his eyes never leave Kame's figure and watches as Kame slips to another area of the park where it is dark and far from the public.
"What do you think about it?" he asks when he finally reaches the secluded area and sees Kame leaning against a tree trunk.
Kame turns his head to the right and sees Jin, standing a few feet away from him with his hands buried in the pockets on the sides of his jeans.
"It looks too realistic for a painting of something that's supposed to be just an image inside your head," Kame drawls out lazily, tilting his head up to peer at the blossoms on the tree. "But I think you did a good job."
"Kame-"
"I just want to know why you left that morning, Jin."
Jin fidgets and he could practically feel how hard it is to explain and apologize when Kame is doing a good job of avoiding his eyes by looking up to the tree. He wonders if Kame is wishing for a falling star to wish upon or a meteorite to crush on him instead. Jin cringes at the latter thought.
"I left because I got scared."
"Scared?" Kame chuckles, even if it's a bit sarcastic, before meeting Jin's gaze. "Are you for real? Why would you be scared of me then paint us in a very provocative manner? Seriously, I don't get it." His breathing is hard by the time he’s finished, and he’s starting to realize just how much Jin’s action has affected him.
It takes Jin a moment, taken aback by Kame’s words, before he finds whatever it is that he wants to say.
"I got scared because the minute I woke up with you lying next to me, warm and comfortable, naked and sexy, I told myself I could get used to this," his fingers are clenching in the denim material of his jeans. "I know that we don't know much about each other yet but when I've decided to confess and ask you to try having a relationship with me, you're already gone."
"And you didn't even try to find me?" Kame remarks bitterly, glowering at the other.
"Well, for starters, I didn’t know how to find you. I guess I’m just lucky enough to have kept your picture with your niece. It has your family’s home address written at the back."
"And that's how you found me?"
Jin scratches his head and breaks into a hesitant grin. "Um, yeah? I kind of stalked your family…uh, especially your niece. The daughter of my mom's friend works at the pre-school she's attending, you know, and I kind of befriended her. Your niece is really friendly and cute."
Kame crosses his arms in front of his chest and breaks into a smile, amused at what he had found out. "She's adorable, isn't she?"
"She is." Jin agrees, nodding his head.
"Anything more you have to say?" Kame suddenly, keeping his voice monotone even if he feels his heart leaping inside his chest. Having Jin here, telling him things that left him unsettled, made him happy and hopeful.
“Um, I know that…we, uh, didn’t, uhh...I was wrong to-“
“Get straight to the point, Akanishi.”
"Can we give it a try?" Jin hesitates.
“It?”
“Relationship. You know, like...a commitment?” Jin supplies. “Don’t make me say more girly stuff, Kame. Please.” He looks almost ashamed.
Kame’s shoulders shake as he laughs. "Jin, it took you three months," he says, relaxing a bit more casually against the tree. "Long enough to be forgotten, actually."
"Oh."
"That's it?" Kame asks when he sees the other with a dejected look.
"Well, there's nothing else I can do to change your stubborn mind and I know-"
The words are left hanging since he’s been pulled down for a kiss, soft lips claiming his own. Kame's lips are warm and sweet and he moans softly into the kiss when he feels Kame's tongue slip inside his mouth, tasting him. He kisses back, as fervently as he could and with much ardour and passion.
"What about your boyfriend?" he whispers against Kame's lips, breathing still heavy from their kiss.
"Your idiocy astounds me," Kame says then grins, eyes sparkling in the night like bright stars. "Do you think I'd be making out with you here if I had a boyfriend?"
"But you said-"
Kame rolls his eyes. He brushes the pink petals that fell on top of Jin's head before he cups Jin's face in his hands. "I lied.”
This time it is Jin who pouts but he smiles like a child before he kisses Kame. Kame knows he wouldn’t mind waking up next to Jin every day. It wouldn’t even matter anymore if he wakes up with the other side of his bed empty because from this moment on, he is sure that Jin would come back to him.
_____
_____
He ponders about the kiss while he is taking his bath. He thinks that it should have never happened because maybe, Jin doesn't swing that way. Maybe Jin was just blinded by the situation and so he ended up kissing him. The way Jin had acted when he drove them back to Hamamatsu-jo led him to that conclusion and it left an ugly feeling that rendered him jittery and muddled in his seat.
Kame stares at his hands, at his fingers that caressed Jin’s lips and curled into Jin’s hair as they kissed earlier. Still befuddled with his thoughts, he inhales deeply before he slides and submerges himself into the warm water, eyes closed and letting out little bubbles of air to come to the surface as he lay deep in the tub, trying to drown those unwanted thoughts that prick at his heart. He wouldn't want Jin to distance himself from him just because of the incident.
No, he doesn’t want that.
_____
Kame ties his robe and stares into the mirror. He’s still the same; fair skin, brown eyes, dark lashes, crooked nose, and thin lips. He’s still him and yet, he feels he’s changed into someone he doesn’t know. There are still those familiar traces of him but there’s something entirely new, something he couldn’t put his finger on.
We meet people because we are destined to meet them...
Kame shakes his head at the thought and convinces himself that it's impossible. It’s impossible for someone to change in a short span of time and it’s definitely impossible to develop feelings of the intimate kind for someone he's only just met. He ends up questioning himself - what if meeting Jin is a predetermined event; something inevitable and necessary in his life?
The idea only frustrates him because he knows he's lying to himself, saying it shouldn’t affect him, when his fucking heart aches so badly when he thinks of leaving Jin a few days from now. He shouldn’t feel anything like this, like something akin to despair and excruciating sadness that creeps into his heart. But he does. Kame doesn’t know who to blame for turning what should be a plain and simple friendship into something deeper and complicated.
With a last heavy sigh, Kame ignores the nagging feeling inside him and turns to leave the bathroom only to be shoved back inside and he hears a definite click.
He isn't able to speak as he's pressed against the wall and his lips are already sealed with a plump pair. It's soft, a bit chapped, but it becomes addictive against his lips. It doesn't take a genius to know that it's Jin so he gives in and kisses back; the kiss is wet and demanding before they gradually change to mere touching of skin against skin. They give each other chaste, feather-like kisses like fools, like awkward and hesitant highschool boys making out with their newfound girlfriend.
Kame giggles when Jin briefly lets go of his lips and feels Jin smiling against the contours of his own, only to close his eyes and sigh softly as Jin drops kisses all over his face.
Jin draws away a little to lean his forehead against Kame's. Their breathing is shallow, their chests rising and falling in a rhythm. He strokes Kame's cheek, gently and tenderly. It’s Kame who tilts his head a little to press his lips once again against his. This time their kiss tastes desperate and sweet.
"Jin," Kame pants when they break apart. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I'm sure," Jin whispers truthfully against Kame's mouth, pressing his lips on Kame's again. He meets Kame's eyes and thinks they're more beautiful than before - there are a bit of sparkles against the colour of cinnamon and a hazy cloud of lust. "I'm sure that I want this."
"I want you, Kazuya."
Kame realizes in that moment that he needs this in the same way Jin does.
"No turning back?" he whispers and brushes his lips against Jin's. His hand moves under Jin's shirt, feeling the heated skin beneath the fabric. "Won't you regret this?" he mutters under his breath as his fingers brush lightly against Jin's left nipple.
Jin pulls on Kame's right hand that's roaming his chest to hold it against his heart. "Trust me, I know what I’m getting myself into," he whispers, breathing warm breaths on the soft spot behind Kame's ear. Kame ends up kissing Jin for the second time.
There are no words spoken between them anymore, and it doesn't take long for Kame's robe to be forgotten on the floor and Jin's clothes to have formed a small pile in a corner of the bathroom. Their hands roaming, feeling the smooth and hard planes and curves their skin could touch. Jin kisses back when Kame leans in to kiss him, soft and gentle at first, then growing more demanding as teeth lightly bite on Jin’s lower lip for a response. Kame reaches up with both hands, lacing his fingers together at the back of Jin's neck, pulling Jin to him and deepening the kiss.
He bites his lower lip to muffle his moan when Jin's lips descend to the curve of his neck and go further down to take a taut nipple inside his mouth. He arches into Jin with every teasing flick of Jin's tongue, teeth grazing gently on his skin. Kame wraps his arms tighter around Jin, fingers curling at the tips of Jin's hair that rests on his nape down to the broad shoulders, his arms cascade down to trace the bumps of Jin's spine that lightly protrude from Jin's sinewy back. Kame thinks Jin has a well-defined body; lean and muscular, soft and hard in the appropriate places.
Jin feels Kame. Kame is warm, panting, sweaty and pressing against him. He thinks Kame is perfect.
Kame kisses him again and he buries his face on Kame's shoulder when he feels a hand stroking his length. It escalates his arousal, even more so when the tips of Kame's fingers brush on the underside of his cock. He opens his mouth, teeth clenching around the flesh on Kame's shoulder to stop himself from moaning out loud when Kame thumbs the tip of his cock. Kame is good with his hands and lips and hips, and when he feels him rubbing against him as he grinds down on Kame their erections rub together and he feels himself nearing release as Kame strokes him a few more times. He comes shuddering and Kame swallows his moan in a deep kiss.
Jin is still panting really hard and doesn't know if it's because of the intensity of his orgasm or because Kame has sucked all the air out of his lungs through his kisses.
"God, you're good…and hot," he manages to say when he's calmed down, lips pressing briefly on Kame's own.
"I know." Kame feels kind of smug as he smirks, fingers trailing ever so teasingly on Jin's collarbones and when Jin's lips part open to gasp, he slips his tongue in and tastes Jin for the nth time. Kissing Jin has become highly addictive for him.
When Jin takes over, Kame thinks the world is nearing its end because the pleasure he is subjected to renders him breathless. His hands make their way to the top of Jin's head, fisting lustrous hair, but careful enough not to tear them from Jin's head. He wouldn't want him to bitch about it and be left hanging with a painful fucking hard-on.
Jin is down on his knees, one hand resting on Kame’s hip, the other stroking his length. His mouth is warm and wet around Kame’s length, his teeth scraping slightly on the shaft. Kame bucks his hip when Jin sucks him a bit too hard. He watches Jin work on him; full lips around his length, taking him in deeper. He hears his moans, raw, raspy and lust-filled, resounding from the walls of the bathroom. When he feels the uncoiling begin in the pits of his stomach, he tries to pull Jin up to kiss him but Jin doesn't move from his place. Instead, Jin glances at him with his eyes smoldering and teasing. He could feel the tip of Jin’s tongue pressing on the tip of his cock and he grunts, muscles in his body spasm as he comes undone inside Jin’s mouth when Jin sucked on him hard. When Jin finally stands on his feet, he is still tingly and shuddering a little, but Jin still kisses him full on the lips.
"This could be a good prelude." Kame's breath brushes over Jin's sweaty shoulder as he leans all of his weight on the other, tired yet satiated. "
Yeah, prelude," Jin agrees, dropping a kiss on Kame's temple before he grabs the younger male by the wrist, leading him out to the bedroom. "But the futon is waiting for the main act." Kame laughs but the sounds eventually drown into low, breathy moans when their foreplay begins.
Under the moonlight, silhouettes of two bodies becoming one are the only décor printed on the wall.
_____
New York, USA
It's the last week of April, three months since he woke up alone in Hamamatsu-jo. He's now back in New York, having another lazy afternoon. He decides to open a folder in his desktop, trying to relive the times he spent in Tokyo and Shizuoka. The memories make his lips curl into a bitter smile.
"Kame-chan," Taguchi's voice breaks through his reverie. "Ueda-kun's inviting us out tomorrow. Clubbing, I guess."
"That's nice," he replies. "But I can't. I've something to do tomorrow night but you're free to go with them if you want."
"Okay," Taguchi says and turns his attention back to his computer. "You sure you don't want to come? It'll be nice, I think. We haven't gone out for a while now."
"I'll be fine. Besides, I’ve got work to do tomorrow morning."
"Don't you ever get tired of working?"
"You know that I do," Kame answers in all honesty but his voice doesn't bear any hint of weariness.
"It's not obvious though," Taguchi says. "You've been working yourself to exhaustion since you came back. Worse, you don't even laugh at my jokes anymore." he shrugs; voice a bit depressed and doesn't notice Kame raising his brows, grimacing even.
Taguchi suddenly stretches, yawning before he says, "Give me a call if ever you change your mind. I've got to go now."
He watches Taguchi collect his things and leave with a bright smile and his hand waving goodbye. When Taguchi closes the door, he leans back on his chair, reaching for his mobile and dials a number. "What time are we going to meet for dinner tomorrow?" he asks when his call is answered then hangs up, despite the whines on the other line after he's listed down the name of the restaurant.
Before leaving his studio, Kame takes hold of the glossy, black-coloured ticket lying on his desk and scans it as briefly as he could. It's elegant-looking with petals of the Sakura tree accenting the card, the letters embossed in gold ink. Kame read the characters 赤西 仁.
Maybe seeing Jin for the last time is the closest he'd get to some form of closure.
_____
Kame is dressed in an elegant black suit. The restaurant is classy, cozy and is known to offer authentic Italian dishes and fine wine. The Italian trattoria is decorated with gold, russet and brown colours along with rustic, wooden furniture. He has to give credit to Pi for choosing such a nice place. Besides, he doesn't expect less from a model who poses for high-end fashion brands in both Japan and the US.
"Ah, you're finally here!"
He takes his seat and casually leans back on the cushioned backrest. "It seems I am, Pi," he replies, opting to call the other by his pet name.
Yamashita Tomohisa smiles and pours wine for the younger man. "I've already taken care of our orders. Hope you don't mind."
"As long as it doesn't have tomatoes in it."
"Of course it doesn't have any!" Yamapi gasps in genuine horror. "Do you seriously think I'd forget?"
He shrugs. “I just know you would,” he says nonchalantly and studies his friend under his lashes. He likes his best friend, Pi. He's laid-back and usually funny and he likes him because he's smart and can talk for ages, even if the latter is only applicable to people the great Yamashita Tomohisa knows. He also knows and is aware, that at one point in time, he had loved his best friend.
"It's not like I intend to! Besides, this is an Italian restaurant, Kame. You don't expect them to use squid as the main ingredient." Pi then chortles. "Ah, it's been a while since we hang out together, right?"
"A while?" Kame snorts. "Pi, you do realize that the last time we went out together was six months ago, right?"
Yamapi shrugs. "Well, work has been a bitch lately. And besides, it's not like I didn't get in contact with you in those times!"
"Tell me about it. I just had a break myself."
"Where did you go? Paris again?"
Kame shakes his head. "Japan, actually."
"Japan?" Yamapi contemplates on the thought. "You should've told me. We could've gone home together. But anyway, how was your trip?"
Kame’s fingers curl into the cut-rimmed glass, bring it up to his lips and then he takes a long, quiet sip before he starts telling Pi about his trip, complete with laughter in between and details of the places he'd been to. There’s no point in hiding things from Pi anyway.
Pi watches Kame move his hands in an animated fashion as he speaks. He listens and couldn't help but notice the tinge of sadness that crosses Kame's eyes whenever he mentions this person named Jin he met in Shizuoka. He knows that Kame's trying to hide it but right now Kame's failing at what he usually does best. He's known Kame long enough, since Kame was fourteen actually, to know how Kame functions and he also knows that he has to know more about that person rather than some old castle, Japanese gardens, and koi ponds.
"Say Kame," he says when he's finally had the opportunity to interrupt. "Mind telling me more about this friend you've met? He seems interesting." When Kame gives him a small smile for an answer, Pi knows that that's something his friend doesn't want to talk about. Yet.
But he is stubborn. Kame should know that himself. He’s the kind of person who wants to know everything. Pi is nosy and can get really obnoxious, especially when it comes to a friend.
Pi nudges Kame in the knee with his shoe. Kame gives him an annoyed stare.
"I'll kill you if I see even a tiny smudge of dirt on my pants."
"Well, you are not getting away from me either," Pi replies instead after he swallows a piece of meat. "I'm just letting you know."
"We're only having dinner. It's not like I'm staying with you overnight."
"Nah-uh." Pi wiggles a finger at Kame, reaching for his goblet and taking a long sip of his wine. "There's a reason why you told me to buy you a ticket for tonight's exhibit at the garden. I'm tagging along."
"I didn't even ask you to," Kame says, pushing the tomato to the side of his plate.
"I didn't even ask you to," Pi imitates his friend. "There's something fishy in here and you know that I like fishy things."
"Fishy?"
"I'm guessing that you're somehow involved with this Japanese painter. You've never been into paintings, Kame. You find them absolutely absurd!" Yamapi is looking incredibly smug. "And you said you went to Japan and you met this Jin there. The painter is from Japan and his first name is Jin and you asked me to get you a ticket for the exhibit. That is one fishy thing, Kame, and fishy things add spark in my oh-so-boring life!"
"Whatever, Pi." Kame rolls his eyes.
"Like duh, Kame."
Yamapi smirks when Kame ignores him. Yes, he knows Kame very well indeed.
_____
赤西 仁: Romantic Delusions Under the Cherry Trees
April 27, 2011 - 8:00pm - 11:00 pm
"A one-night-only event, huh?" Kame mutters under his breath as he stares at the voucher he has in his hands.
"Yo, Kazu-chan, let's go!"
He looks ahead of him and sees Pi by the entrance, handing his own ticket to the Japanese lady wearing an authentic kimono who greets him with a warm smile and a 'konbanwa, Yamashita-san.'
Kame rolls his eyes when Pi suddenly, and not-so-subtly, flirted with the girl whose cheeks then turn pink, like cherry blossoms at full peak. When he reaches the entrance, he hits Pi on the back of his head and hands the lady his ticket.
Yamapi leaves him alone as soon as they get in, saying something about stalking a French woman.
_____
The garden is beautiful and Kame wishes he had brought his camera with him. The Sakura trees are in full bloom, slender tendrils gently swaying with the night wind. The blossoms appear to be white in the bright lights that light the garden where the exhibit is being held.
The paintings are supported by display easels that are ornately carved in wood and coloured in a soft mahogany. They vary in size to accommodate each and every painting placed under the cherry trees. Two bluish, almost white lights lay on the ground, centered and focused on every painting. Kame thinks he has been transported back to Japan because most paintings are inspired by the Hanami in different regions of Japan; one even has Mt. Fuji with the evening sky as its background. There are also two pieces that show Japanese temples, Kame remembers one to be the shrine he'd visited in Hamamatsu. He walks some more and stops at a painting he finds to be intriguing.
"That’s a turtle," Kame hears a voice from behind him. "It's a turtle and this one here is a panda." He follows the dainty finger that points at the canvas where whites and blacks are prominent.
He turns and he sees Jin looking good and sexy as hell in his slim-fit, black blazer, white V-neck undershirt paired with dark-washed jeans that aren't too tight nor too loose. His curls are gone now but he thinks that Jin’s new hairstyle suits him really well. Jin looks neat and fresh. He's got a small loop earring on his left ear and a silver necklace dangles around his neck, the pendant settling just above the hollow space between his collarbones.
They fall silent though, no one daring to speak as they stare at each other. Jin tries to read Kame’s face; tries to decipher the younger man’s expression. It was blank yet still with that familiar elegant beauty that haunts his dreams at night. Seeing Kame again is something he has longed for. He actually wanted to follow him as soon as he learnt that Kame had left Hamamtsu-jo but couldn’t until today, because he knew he needed time to be certain of his feelings for the younger male.
When Kame left, it felt as if his world had shattered, as if the sun had just crashed down upon him, with that feeling of dread and heartbreaking desolation. He has had relationships in the past but had never felt anything like that before. He misses everything about Kame and the sheer knowledge that he wouldn’t be able to be with Kame anymore scares him. Those thoughts are cruel. They twist into claws of ice that stab deep into his chest. The aching in his heart, the certain sadness he has, had never been relieved since then, not until he caught sight of Kame today.
He would have never guessed that he’d have something, cliché as it may sound, like that of a whirlwind romance. And with a guy.
"Why paint something like that and call it a masterpiece?" Kame finds himself asking, eyes no longer gazing at Jin but back at the painting. "Ne, Jin, are those teardrops?" He refers to the light brushes of colours that trail from the panda’s eyes down to its cheeks.
"Yeah," Jin confirms. "The panda's crying because the turtle has left."
"Why would he cry? It’s not like they can be together in the first place." Kame, sometimes, doesn’t really understand art nor how the minds of artists work.
"Exactly,” Jin replies.
“Exactly?”
“Because, maybe, the panda fell in love with someone he really shouldn't have."
_____
Kame feels uncomfortable now that he has Jin walking next to him. It feels awkward and there's a tension so thick between them that he wishes he could make a knife appear and break it in half. Or maybe cut it until it disappears completely. He doesn't know how he should react exactly. But he knows that he just couldn't greet Jin and kiss him the next minute even if he had missed Jin.
"Kame," Jin calls out softly, reaching a hand out to hold Kame's. "Can we ta-"
"Kazu?" Jin instantly retreats his hand. Kame turns only to see Yamapi behind him.
Jin doesn’t like the way the new guy called Kame, Kazu. He doesn’t like the close proximity between Kame and the new guy. He especially doesn’t like it when the new guy holds Kame’s hand and laces their fingers together. The gesture breaks him inside.
Did he make Kame wait for too long?
And that’s when he realizes that Kame didn’t even know if they would be able to meet again because in retrospect, it was the panda that first left and not the turtle.
"Kazu, is he your friend?" Yamapi's voice is curious but there’s that hint of coldness. He wants to show the man that he’s possessive, even if it’s just a show.
"Pi, he’s the friend I talked to you about. He’s Jin. From Japan, remember?" Kame says, trying to discreetly tug his hand away from his friend’s hold but Yamapi’s grip only tightens.
Yamapi ignores Kame’s attempts of freeing his hand as he nods and looks straight into Jin’s eyes, giving the man a small smile.
“Thank you for looking after, Kazuya.”
“It was nothing.” Jin’s voice is quiet and as he stares at both men, he feels something akin to... jealousy. And he hates how it’s creeping up on him.
When Yamapi glances at Jin again, there’s hurt looming in the man’s eyes. Maybe, he's really gifted, Yamapi thinks, because he gets everything spot on. An idea crosses his mind and he turns to face Kame.
"Hey baby, I've to make a call," Yamapi tells the younger male, voice soft and sweet; affectionate. "You can catch up with your friend here. I’ll be back soon." He leans in and presses his lips on Kame’s forehead, feeling Kame go stiff in his arms. He bids Jin and his friend a ‘see you later’ before he walks away, making sure that the distance between him and Kame and Jin isn't really that far.
The minute Pi is gone, the tension between Kame and Jin rises again.
"What was it that you wanted to say?" Kame asks, finally finding his voice. He'll think of ways of how to make Pi suffer an agonizing death once he's done with Jin.
"Is he your boyfriend?" Jin knows he sounds impatient and demanding.
Kame looks straight into Jin's eyes and there's that little voice inside his head telling him to say no and try to talk to Jin about why he left. But when he remembers what Jin did, Kame decides it’s better to leave things the way they are. Maybe Jin isn’t ready.
Maybe he isn’t ready.
"Yes, he is," he answers. His answer soothes his wounded ego but not the yearning heart inside his chest.
Jin just nods his head slowly, as if he understood everything even if he’s trying to hide the fact that his throat hurt and he feels like crying.
When Kame says he has to go, Jin remembers the image of the hurting panda he created and he discreetly wipes that warm moisture that has gathered in his eyes. They're not tears; Jin tries to convince himself, because men don't cry.
_____
"Pi?"
Yamapi lazily peels himself away from the tree, faking a show of pocketing his phone. "You done talking with him?" he asks and when Kame nods slightly, Pi drapes an arm around Kame's shoulder because there's an empty look in Kame's eyes that seems to creep inside of him.
“I had sex with him, Pi.”
Yamapi just chuckles. “See? I told you you’d always fall for Japanese guys. Pretty ones, too.” He pats Kame on the shoulder. “You guys are like gay and lesbian porn in one.” He tries to fight the fits of giggles from erupting but Kame’s smile didn’t even reach his eyes.
”It will be alright, Kazu.”
It will be alright…
_____
"Hey Kame, my manager just sent me a message. Said we need to talk tonight about that gig in Tokyo," Yamapi says suddenly, fingers busy fiddling with the screen of his phone as he types his reply. "I have to go now."
"We can go home together," Kame answers, eyes directed to Pi's. "I've seen enough anyways."
"Don't let me spoil the fun," Yamapi says, patting the younger man on the head. "I'm sure there are still lots you haven't seen. I'll be alright. I'll give you a call once I'm with my manager if you want."
"But-"
"But for now, I've to go." Yamapi shifts and gives Kame a brotherly hug before he flees.
Kame sighs, thinking whether he should follow Pi and leave as well. He is left wondering while his feet start moving and his eyes scrutinize each and every painting he sees.
_____
The paintings under the The Eternal Collection are all beautiful. The swirls of different colours and the vivid, brilliant images awaken something inside him and constrict whatever it is that is essential to his breathing. They are all familiar to him - the scenes in the paintings. Kame's heart thuds wildly inside his chest as his eyes fall on that familiar painting he's seen in the garden way back when he was in Hamamatsu.
It was Reio's.
He hastens his pace to the next set of paintings and sees the places he's been to. The golden waterfall, the beach, the garden and castle; everything is not making sense in his head.
His heart jumps when he sees a portrait of a little girl. There is a tiny hint of a sunny smile in her face, her cheeks rosy. In the painting, the little girl appears to be standing in front of the bushes, dark shades of green colouring the leaves behind her, making her stand out in her gold and white taffeta dress, the bloomy sleeves making her shoulders broader than they really are. She is looking down to the apple she has in her tiny hands and her hair is falling freely down to her shoulders, a narrow brush of red on top of her head makes for a hairband. He knows the little girl pretty well and he would always recognize her even if a part of her life has been preserved using oil on cloth.
____
Women and men have gathered to that last painting that is still covered and draped with a white fabric. Everyone appears to be curious, whispers and speculations about the painting echoes in his ears and he wonders what is so special about it. He empties his glass of champagne and gets another one when he gets the chance.
When time seems to pass slowly, he loses himself in his own world, thinking about the collection of paintings he's just seen and Akanishi Jin. To say that everything that's happening right now is just a plain coincidence would be a bit too absurd.
He knows better than to blame it all on coincidence.
A voice echoes softly in the area and he is taken out of his little world when he hears it, telling them that the time has come for the last piece to be revealed. He shifts in his place, feeling anxious and excited for the piece to be unraveled. He fixes his eyes on the covered artwork and his heart stops when he sees Jin taking his place next to the painting, fingers curling on the silken sheet and slowly, very slowly, removing it so everyone can see what is being hidden from their eyes.
When the fabric finally comes off, Kame's eyes widen, his jaw drops and he feels himself stop breathing.
____
The composition of the painting can often create the power a painting has, by having unity, harmony or contrast. Paintings are prized and are treasured because they can capture a moment in time and possess it forever. The masterpieces have always been a symbol of stature, class, culture, and education and the subjects have their own social meaning.
"This nude painting entitled Kizuna is chosen to be the finest piece in the exhibit because according to Akanishi-san, the painting stood out among the others. He claims that this hyper realistic painting reveals a multitude of characteristics and tastes. This painting has captured reality and fantasy and is truly a romantic delusion to others…"
The voice trails off because Kame doesn't understand it all. All he knows is that the portrait is solemn and true with the style the painter has used to penetrate the painting, fill it with emotions only a few could understand. The excellent blends of textures are sure to capture everyone's attention.
In his eyes, the painting is enchanting, intimate, and heartbreaking because painted on the canvas are two naked men, an exact replica of him and Jin.
Jin had painted him leaning against the wall, arms wrapping around Jin. Jin has his face half-buried in the crook of his neck, a palm pressing against the wall beside his head and the other is resting on the side of his hip where his pelvic bone protrudes. They are naked, portions of their anatomy in shadows, relatively unfinished from below the hip. The colours are well-blended, from the blacks and browns of their bodies to the créme-coloured wall. There is a great blending of light to dark. In truth, it is the outline, form, and shape of Jin's body that are open for public scrutiny but he feels he's the one who's more exposed - inner-life and emotion-wise - even if half of his face is darkened and shaded. It allowed people to catch a glimpse of his feelings for Jin. The details of his face showed how much he’s attuned to Jin and Jin to him.
The painting is a full-blown artwork of detail and sensual provocation, from Jin's broad and toned back to his closed eyes and slightly-parted lips, from the stray wisps of their hair to the way their pinkies have linked. It's a work where intimate feelings and lust have been taken in and preserved.
It is a compendium of a love story and scandal, of intrigue and romance.
He doesn't know how long he’s been holding his breath but when he exhales, he does it slowly. With this secret unraveled, he thinks that the world has changed. It's making him feel dizzy and jaded and he feels the need to walk away from the undecided crowd even if most of them are awed, others quiet, some gaping and shocked, probably thinking that the painting is ludicrous.
Kame thinks it's perfect.
____
Jin sees Kame walking away. The crowd is curious of his art and he answers some inquiries before excusing himself in the most polite manner he could. He makes sure that his eyes never leave Kame's figure and watches as Kame slips to another area of the park where it is dark and far from the public.
"What do you think about it?" he asks when he finally reaches the secluded area and sees Kame leaning against a tree trunk.
Kame turns his head to the right and sees Jin, standing a few feet away from him with his hands buried in the pockets on the sides of his jeans.
"It looks too realistic for a painting of something that's supposed to be just an image inside your head," Kame drawls out lazily, tilting his head up to peer at the blossoms on the tree. "But I think you did a good job."
"Kame-"
"I just want to know why you left that morning, Jin."
Jin fidgets and he could practically feel how hard it is to explain and apologize when Kame is doing a good job of avoiding his eyes by looking up to the tree. He wonders if Kame is wishing for a falling star to wish upon or a meteorite to crush on him instead. Jin cringes at the latter thought.
"I left because I got scared."
"Scared?" Kame chuckles, even if it's a bit sarcastic, before meeting Jin's gaze. "Are you for real? Why would you be scared of me then paint us in a very provocative manner? Seriously, I don't get it." His breathing is hard by the time he’s finished, and he’s starting to realize just how much Jin’s action has affected him.
It takes Jin a moment, taken aback by Kame’s words, before he finds whatever it is that he wants to say.
"I got scared because the minute I woke up with you lying next to me, warm and comfortable, naked and sexy, I told myself I could get used to this," his fingers are clenching in the denim material of his jeans. "I know that we don't know much about each other yet but when I've decided to confess and ask you to try having a relationship with me, you're already gone."
"And you didn't even try to find me?" Kame remarks bitterly, glowering at the other.
"Well, for starters, I didn’t know how to find you. I guess I’m just lucky enough to have kept your picture with your niece. It has your family’s home address written at the back."
"And that's how you found me?"
Jin scratches his head and breaks into a hesitant grin. "Um, yeah? I kind of stalked your family…uh, especially your niece. The daughter of my mom's friend works at the pre-school she's attending, you know, and I kind of befriended her. Your niece is really friendly and cute."
Kame crosses his arms in front of his chest and breaks into a smile, amused at what he had found out. "She's adorable, isn't she?"
"She is." Jin agrees, nodding his head.
"Anything more you have to say?" Kame suddenly, keeping his voice monotone even if he feels his heart leaping inside his chest. Having Jin here, telling him things that left him unsettled, made him happy and hopeful.
“Um, I know that…we, uh, didn’t, uhh...I was wrong to-“
“Get straight to the point, Akanishi.”
"Can we give it a try?" Jin hesitates.
“It?”
“Relationship. You know, like...a commitment?” Jin supplies. “Don’t make me say more girly stuff, Kame. Please.” He looks almost ashamed.
Kame’s shoulders shake as he laughs. "Jin, it took you three months," he says, relaxing a bit more casually against the tree. "Long enough to be forgotten, actually."
"Oh."
"That's it?" Kame asks when he sees the other with a dejected look.
"Well, there's nothing else I can do to change your stubborn mind and I know-"
The words are left hanging since he’s been pulled down for a kiss, soft lips claiming his own. Kame's lips are warm and sweet and he moans softly into the kiss when he feels Kame's tongue slip inside his mouth, tasting him. He kisses back, as fervently as he could and with much ardour and passion.
"What about your boyfriend?" he whispers against Kame's lips, breathing still heavy from their kiss.
"Your idiocy astounds me," Kame says then grins, eyes sparkling in the night like bright stars. "Do you think I'd be making out with you here if I had a boyfriend?"
"But you said-"
Kame rolls his eyes. He brushes the pink petals that fell on top of Jin's head before he cups Jin's face in his hands. "I lied.”
This time it is Jin who pouts but he smiles like a child before he kisses Kame. Kame knows he wouldn’t mind waking up next to Jin every day. It wouldn’t even matter anymore if he wakes up with the other side of his bed empty because from this moment on, he is sure that Jin would come back to him.
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