fic for changetje (1/4)
Title: Soto Mawari
By: sweetpaopuwind / bluebirdsongs
Pairing: Kame/Jin
Word count: ~35,800
Rating: R
Genre/Warnings: Romance, Fluff, Slice-of-life, Angst... Can't really think of any warnings other than language, implied smut, drinking, maybe some melodrama...whoops. :D;
Notes: Thanks so much to A, J, B, M, and L for all of their individual and collective contributions to this. From brainstorming to betaing to fixing nagging plotholes and pronoun usage, this fic never would have gotten finished without any of the people listed above. Thank you!!
Summary: The Yamanote line runs in a circle.
The Yamanote line runs in a circle. Stopping at each of the 29 stations on the 34.5 kilometer track, it takes about an hour to complete a full loop. Trains depart each station at a regular interval of 2½ to 4 minutes, depending on the time of day, and they run like clockwork. They have to, or else the daily commutes of up to three million passengers could be affected. Therefore, for all JR East employees, but particularly for those servicing the Yamanote line, efficiency is crucial.
Akanishi Jin, one of the attendants assigned to platforms 3 and 4 at Tamachi Station, servicing the outer circle of the Yamanote line and the Keihin-Tohoku line, knows this. From the moment the first gust of wind from an incoming train hits his face to when the doors close and the vehicle departs again, he has only minutes-sometimes mere seconds-to make sure everything on the platform is in proper order to facilitate the transfer of passengers on and off the trains so that they stay on schedule according to the digital marquee above the track.
It's a simple job, really-all he has to do is wave his red flag down the length of the platform to signal the approach of a train, exchange a few words with the driver when it stops, make sure the passengers get off and on in an orderly fashion, and signal his all-clear so the train can depart. At rush hour, though, when noisy bodies choke the platform, the overflow spilling up the stairs and over the yellow lines painted on the concrete marking a safe distance from the track, this is easier said than done. At those times, Jin has to shout instructions until he goes hoarse in order to be heard over the the din and sometimes he has to throw his full weight into forcing bodies inside to fill the last few centimeters of space available within the car so the doors can close. The only thing harder than that, he thinks, are the few tense seconds as the train leaves when he has to look into the eyes of the poor souls pressed uncomfortably against the glass.
Thankfully, though, Jin works the evening shift, when traffic is more spread out than it is in the morning, so he only has to deal with really crowded trains at the very peak hours and when special events that draw large crowds take place in the surrounding area, whereas his coworkers who work the morning rush hour have to do that sort of thing every 2½ minutes for up to four hours at a time. He doesn't envy them, but his own shift isn't without its pitfalls, either. Working the evening shift means he's also on board for the late-night shift, during which part of maintaining order on the platform means cleaning up after sloppy, drunk salarymen and finding polite ways to wake up those who doze off in the seats, the waiting rooms, and sometimes on the floor of the platform itself while waiting for the next train. When he's standing on the platform, hiding yawns behind his white-gloved hands and fighting off sleep himself until 2AM when his shift ends, he wishes he had the luxury of working strictly the lazy afternoon hours, but there's a system of seniority even among train station platform attendants, and those shifts only go to older men-those who have been serving the company the longest. Having been employed by JR for less than six months, Jin doubts he'll ever get one of those jobs, so he resolves to just bear with it until something better comes along that grants him the opportunity to quit.
Or maybe, he sometimes thinks after he's worked a particularly hard night, maybe I'll just quit.
And his night shifts have been particularly difficult lately. During the winter months, depression sweeps through Tokyo like a plague, and the mood of the passengers turns gloomier; their eyes turn constantly downcast, and their lips press together in hard, thin lines as they shuffle on and off the trains. In the few hours of downtime between the evening commute and the late night rush, Jin stands awkwardly at the end of the platform, picking at his uniform as he thinks back on one of the recent personnel meetings he'd been called in at 8AM for.
"Due to the high number of accidents in recent weeks," his boss had started, "we strongly advise all employees to be on special alert and to act immediately on all suspicious behavior."
Jin and his fellow attendants had nodded solemnly and lowered their heads. Although the Tamachi Station manager hadn't explicitly said so, they all understand that by 'accidents' he'd of course meant 'human accidents,' which referred almost exclusively to suicides, the victims of which were referred to in off-duty station employee conversations as 'jumpers'. For Jin, there's nothing more depressing about his job than being instructed to be on the lookout for people who look like they might be looking to end their lives by throwing themselves in front of a piece of stainless steel machinery moving at 90 kilometers per hour and then being given training on how to recognize the signs and respond appropriately.
That's training Jin's very glad to say he hasn't had to draw upon yet. He's never personally borne witness to a suicide, but there had been one on the Keihin-Tohoku line the week before, and when word of that event had reached him, for a moment he'd felt frozen with the realization that somewhere, probably not too far from him, someone had just passed out of the world, but then he'd had to snap back to the reality of the situation, which was that one of the busiest rapid-service lines in the city was now out of commission, and now he had to deal with the repercussions. Traffic had been snarled for hours, and the overflow of disgruntled passengers to the Yamanote line had been so great that Jin had found himself thinking at one point that whatever fine the victim's surviving family members would have to pay JR for the damages and the inconvenience caused by the suicide would be justified. He'd not been proud of himself that night, and he'd stumbled away from a bar at four in the morning with the thought that he really needed a new job.
So far, though, nothing had presented itself, so he would be stuck on platform 3 at Tamachi Station for at least a while longer, flagging trains ahead, cleaning up puke, rousing sleeping commuters, and keeping an eye out for potential suicides. For his own peace of mind, he'd like very much to not have to consider the possibility of someone dying before his eyes, but he works the very end of the platform, the first part of the station the train passes, and also where it's going the fastest. If someone were really intent on committing suicide on that particular platform, they'd be smart to do it on Jin's territory, where there would be a higher probability of instant, painless death. Really, the fact that Jin has yet to see it happen is the result of sheer dumb luck.
A sick feeling of dread rolls over him in waves when it seems as though his luck is about to run out. Among the small crowd of passengers waiting in line for the next train, a young salaryman suddenly stumbles forward. He looks worn and haggard, and his thin, wiry frame barely fills out his standard-issue three-piece suit. Jin hears the sound of his own pulse beating furiously in his ears as the young man doesn't stop at the line forming to board the last train car, instead making his way towards Jin and the very end of the platform. What is he thinking? Is he drunk? Instead of flushed with drink, the man's face looks sickly and pale, and the fact that he seems unsteady on his feet has bile creeping up the back of Jin's throat. For some reason, most JR platforms don't have guardrails like those at the subway stations do, so if this guy were to lose his balance, there would be nothing to break his fall and prevent him from toppling all the way onto the tracks. Unless that's what he's trying to do, Jin's mind helpfully provides, and Jin swallows thickly. "Sir, please wait behind the yellow line!" he tries calling out, but the other makes no acknowledgment that he's heard him.
The breeze suddenly picks up, lifting Jin's hair from the nape of his neck-air being displaced by the force of an approaching train. The regular recorded chime and message announcing the train's arrival play across the platform, and when he sees the young salaryman's eyes fixed on the vehicle's headlights, he realizes with a sense of horror that the guy's probably going to try to jump. Adrenaline kicks in, and with a shout, he launches himself at the man just as the train glides into the station.
He doesn't realize until they're sprawled in a tangled heap of limbs on the concrete that the other hadn't moved when he'd tackled him.
"Ow, motherfucker, that hurt,"the guy exclaims, clutching at the back of his head where it must have made contact with the platform. "What the hell did you do that for?!"
Jin clambers backwards, and he wilts a little under the other's heated glare. I...you...it looked like you..." He ends up trailing off, unable to think of a polite way to say, "You looked like you were about to off yourself."
"I wasn't trying to jump, if that's what you're thinking. I just needed some air."
Jin's eyes go wide. "Oh," he says lamely, and then continues with, "sorry," lowering his head out of habit, but he has to fight back a wave of irritation at the thought that he's apologizing for trying to save someone's life. Though, in the process of trying to save a life that apparently hadn't been in need of saving, he'd probably gone and given the man a concussion, so maybe an apology was in order. The least he can do now is see if the guy's all right...
Staggering to his feet, Jin offers him a hand and helps pull him to his feet. "Sorry, I understand it's late and you probably want to go home, but I'll need to take you to the first aid room to get that bump on your head checked out first. Also, there's likely some paperwork that you'll need to fill out."
The other sighs in a way that Jin takes to mean, "Well, if it can't be helped," so Jin pages one of his coworkers on the walkie-talkie at his hip to relieve him so he can escort the injured man upstairs.
Jin sits in the office filling out his side of the paperwork regarding the incident while his boss ushers the 'victim' in for a brief medical exam. He hopes that relating his version of events to management will be enough to be granted permission to clock out early on the grounds of acute psychological trauma, but after he submits the documents, they just clap him on the back for following protocol and send him back downstairs, his shoulders slumped in disappointment. He gets distracted on the way back down to the platform, though, by the sight of a young, thin salaryman with a strip of gauze wrapped around his head standing on the pedestrian bridge just beyond the entrance to the station. Without really thinking about what he's doing, Jin jumps the ticket gate and runs after him. "Hey!"
His shout startles not only the people passing by, but the man himself, too, and Jin finds himself apologizing again when the other looks up from his phone to regard him nervously. "Yes?"
Hands on his knees, Jin keeps his gaze fixed firmly on his scuffed dress shoes as he bows. "I'm really sorry about...you know, what happened on the platform. How's your, uh..." Straightening again, he gestures vaguely to the thin strip of cloth wound around the crown of the man's head.
"Oh...it's fine. No concussion, just a bad bump. Painkillers and rest should take care of it."
For as angry as he had seemed on the platform, Jin's surprised and relieved to see the corners of the other's mouth turn upwards in the beginnings of a courteous (but still genuine, as far as Jin can tell) smile. He wonders for a moment where all of that anger went, but then figures that maybe the adrenaline from being tackled by a complete stranger had drawn out that furious tone, or perhaps he's already gotten some painkillers for the bump on his head, and the pills are making him happy. Regardless of where it came from, the sight of it, even though his complexion still looks rather ashen and he has deep, dark circles beneath his eyes, is enough to make Jin smile, too, and he absentmindedly reaches a hand up to scratch at the back of his head. "If it wouldn't cause you any more trouble, can I at least treat you to coffee or something to make up for it?"
The man seems to consider for a moment, and something unreadable (appraisal, maybe?) flashes in his eyes before he says, "Sure. Is tomorrow okay? I'll be in the area, and I'm free after one."
Jin nods and fishes his cell phone out of the pocket of his uniform jacket. "Tomorrow's good. Ah, should we maybe get each other's contact information? Just in case..." His cheeks flush a little at the thought that maybe exchanging phone numbers and e-mail addresses isn't necessary for a one-time meeting, but the other doesn't question him and instead holds his phone to his to establish the infrared connection between them.
While the data transfers, he says, "There's a café right across from Keio's East Gate, down the street from Tokyo Tower. I'll meet you there between one and one-thirty?"
A beep sounds from Jin's phone indicating a successful completion of the transfer. "Sounds good...Kamenashi," he adds with a smile after checking his updated contact list.
Kamenashi smiles and does the same. "Nice to meet you, Akanishi. I've got to run for now, but I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
After Kamenashi lowers his head a little and turns away, it takes Jin a few seconds to realize that at some point in the conversation he'd gone from apologizing to flirting, and Kamenashi had seemed to respond well to it. When he eventually gets back to work, the rest of his shift on the platform seems to fly by, but when he retires to the station's sleeping quarters set up for the employees who work past the last train (Jin's found it ironic since his very first day that even though he works for the train company, he can't catch a train home after work until the following morning), it finally clicks in his head that Kamenashi had mentioned Keio University because he's not a salaryman at all, but a college student, and likely a rich one at that.
The only thing he can think of to say to that is, "Oh, shit."
~*~*~*~
After catching about 2½ hours' worth of rest in the sleeping room, Jin grabs a seat on the first southbound Keihin-Tohoku line train of the morning to roll through Tamachi (at an ungodly 5:14AM), snoozes all the way to his transfer point at Higashikanagawa, gets off the Yokohama line at Kikuna, and falls back into bed in his crappy apartment overlooking the station by about six. Normally, he'd be dead to the world until two or three in the afternoon after working all night, but before he falls asleep he remembers he has a date with rich college kid Kamenashi Kazuya across from Keio University's main campus in Mita at one, so he blearily sets his phone alarm for eleven, tosses it somewhere beside him on the mattress, and smashes his face into his pillow.
It's not until several hours later, when he's standing helplessly in front of his closet trying to figure out what to wear that he remembers it's not a date. By that point, though, it doesn't matter. He's gone into full-blown panic mode, and not because he can't figure out which not-girly necklace best brings out the different shades of brown in his eyes. While he would like to dress a bit more nicely than usual to make a good impression, his problem lies more with trying to remember the last time he wore a shirt that cost more than 300 yen. High school, maybe, but he can't very well show up to the café in his old uniform jacket or trousers, even if there was a chance they still fit him. After going through all of his clothes three times, he realizes he has absolutely nothing he can wear that would win him the approval of someone who goes to Keio, because it's the kind of university where both the professors and the students show up to class in Alfa Romeros, and...yeah, there's just no way Jin can compete with that. He'd have to win the lottery or become the next CEO of JR first-two things that are very unlikely to happen to him any time soon.
In the end he goes with a pair of faded, baggy jeans that as far as he can tell don't have any rips or stains other than artistic ones and a shirt that looks like it could be designer, but isn't, which one of his friends had brought back for him from a trip to LA. Mindful of the time, he pulls on a pair of boots as quickly as he can and grabs a nondescript white hoodie and his keys on the way out.
When he gets to the café (only a few minutes late, thanks to most of his preparation time being spent throwing clothes over his shoulder onto his bed with varying amounts of disgust), he finds Kamenashi already seated at a table waiting for him, and when the other stands up to wave him over, Jin sees he's dressed in another suit. A quick glance around at the other tables as he makes his way over reveals that the café is packed with students, most if not all of them dressed similarly to Kamenashi, which makes him feel even more out of place in his distinctly plebeian garb. A blush spreads across his cheeks, and he feels his face only heat further when he gets close enough to notice that Kamenashi's dark pinstripe suit is far nicer than the one he'd been wearing the night before at the train station, its stylish cut showing off the lines of his slender body instead of hanging off his frame...
A chair leg suddenly appears in Jin's path, and he yelps a little when it makes contact with his shin. The chair in question turns out to be the one across from Kamenashi, and he drops down into it before he can embarrass himself any further. "Hi."
Instead of sitting back down, Kamenashi moves around the table to get a better look when Jin lowers a hand to rub at what he's sure will later be a nasty bruise. "You okay?"
Jin finds it a little unsettling having Kamenashi so close so suddenly. Even though they'd had two separate conversations the night before, seeing him and talking to him away from work feels like something entirely different. The night before at the station, even after he'd seen Kamenashi lurch dangerously on the platform and tackled him (which had been a first for him, thank you very much), Kamenashi had still been just another passenger, his face one of thousands to appear before Jin each day. Like all of the others, his distinguishing features had gotten processed and conveyed to Jin's brain in electric pulses that flickered for a few seconds before dying out again, already forgotten. In most cases, Jin doesn't even try to remember, zoning out while the details of his workday enter and leave his consciousness like a shinkansen going through a tunnel.
That would have been Kamenashi's fate if the end of their interaction had come down on the platform. Jin could have gone home with just the knowledge that he'd made an error in judgment and launched himself at some poor, unsuspecting salaryman in the middle of his shift (and he'd have sworn the guy to high heaven and back as he told the story to his friends over beer, because he'd been right to act, and apologizing out of obligation even when one's in the right just blows). He'd have gone on with his life never knowing the guy wasn't a salaryman at all, but a rich (he presumes) student attending one of the most prestigious universities in the country, and he certainly wouldn't have wound up about to have coffee with said guy across the street from said university. But then he'd seen Kamenashi standing there on the bridge, one hand on the railing looking out over the street while the other fiddled with his cell phone, and everything had changed. Even though he'd still been at work and still been in full uniform, running through the ticket gate and feeling the crisp air of a chilly February night settle in his lungs had lifted the spell of numbness and lethargy that settles over him at work and allows him to go blissfully blank. He'd been himself for a moment-kind, honest, fair, and (he can admit to himself, in hindsight), the slightest bit opportunistic. He's fairly confident he wouldn't have made the same offer to personally make up for the inconvenience he'd caused had his victim in fact been the average middle-aged salaryman.
But still, even with his decidedly less than pure motivations for extending the first invitation, the situation is completely different now. Yes, he's seeing the same face before him as he had the night before, but now he's seeing it and committing its features to memory tagged with a name. It doesn't take him long to realize that the alertness and focus he sees in Kamenashi's intense, almond-shaped eyes, despite the puffiness and dark circles in the hollows beneath them, have him captivated. Likewise, he likes the curious bump in the bridge of his nose and the way his thin lips so easily quirk upwards at the corners. He even finds it endearing the way his sculpted eyebrows furrow, kind of like they're doing now, as though expecting some sort of answer to...wait, had Kamenashi asked him a question just now? Was he supposed to respond? Shit. Shit shit shit.
"Uh...I think I'll go with a latte. Half-and-half instead of whole milk and light on the whipped cream, please."
Jin finds it attractive, too, how it appears as though Kamenashi has to hold a hand to his mouth to physically contain his giggles, but he'd very much prefer it if Kamenashi wasn't laughing at his expense. Apparently that hadn't been the answer the other was looking for. What had he even been asked? Damn.
"I think you'd better tell that to the barista, not to me," Kamenashi says, his eyes sparkling with laughter and crinkling at the corners from the width of his smile. "You must need a pick-me-up as badly as I do if you're that out of it. You do look pretty beat... Are the higher-ups at JR all slavedrivers or something? I asked you if your leg was okay, because that sounded like it hurt..."
Jin sits in stunned silence for a moment, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Kamenashi is apparently an enthusiastic talker, when he definitely wouldn't have pegged him as one. Though, when Jin had formed that impression of him, Kamenashi had looked exhausted, and then he'd unexpectedly had his head slammed against the ground. Jin doesn't imagine he'd be too talkative, either, if something like that had happened to him. Still, though, it takes him by surprise, and he has to take a moment to catch up with the other's words before he can even think of something to say in response.
"Oh," he starts, not at all surprised to feel his cheeks start to burn again, "sorry, I zoned out for a second. But 'slavedrivers,' yeah, that sounds about right. It certainly feels like it when I get home from a late shift at six in the morning. But yeah, my leg's all right. Thanks for asking." To be honest, he'd completely forgotten he'd hurt it at all when he'd gotten lost in thought, but he's not about to admit to Kamenashi what it was that had distracted him.
Somewhere above him, he hears Kamenashi click his tongue. "Six in the morning, huh? That's rough-no wonder you look worn out. Come on, let's get some coffee in you and perk you up-you're buying, remember!"
With that, Kamenashi tilts his head in the direction of the counter, making his wavy brown hair fall away from his shoulder, and Jin has to try very hard to play it cool when the smile Kamenashi gives him makes his heart do something weird and fluttery, disguising a surprised gasp as a short round of high-pitched chortles. Jin fails pretty hard at acting cool sometimes, and he mentally kicks himself for his lack of coolness all the way to the counter when they go to place their orders.
About five minutes later, they settle into their seats, steaming cups of caffeinated beverages in hand. Ironically, the espresso Kamenashi ordered seems to calm him down, as he lets out a contented hum after his first sip and afterwards begins speaking at a noticeably slower clip while his fingers wrap around the ceramic cup. "You know, it might not seem like it, but actually where we're sitting could be considered a lions' den."
Jin's eyebrows shoot towards his hairline behind his own cup as he takes another sip of his latte. "What?"
Kamenashi glances around at the other tables, which makes Jin nervously do the same. "What I mean is...Keio's main campus, the one across the street here, is the upperclassmen campus. And now that the fall semester's over," he says, pausing for a moment to take another sip of his espresso, "everyone's focus is shifting to their careers, meaning they're in for countless weeks of job searching, resumé writing, and interviews." Cup in hand, he leans back in his seat and crosses one knee over the other, revealing to Jin's gaze a sleek pair of black pointed-toed dress shoes, completing Kamenashi's look, which altogether probably costs more than Jin's rent. If Kamenashi notices anything off about how Jin's looking at him, he doesn't say so, instead continuing, "...Myself included. Just before this, I had an interview with Sumitomo Mitsui."
From his words, Jin would accuse Kamenashi of bragging about the opportunities available to him, except his expression behind his coffee cup looks strangely ambivalent for someone who just revealed he'd had an interview to work at one of the biggest banks in Japan. Instead of voicing his observation, however, he says, "Ah, so you are a student," to confirm his initial hunch, which might make him look a little stupid, but that's better than following the thread of a potentially awkward conversation. Around the rip of his coffee cup, he asks, "What year?"
"Actually, I'll graduate in March."
Jin raises his cup with a smile in congratulations, and a light blush comes to Kamenashi's cheeks, matching his sudden burst of bashful laughter. "Congratulate me after I've found a job. I said it's like a lions' den-with the economy the way it is, even within the corporations that specifically look to hire Keio graduates, everyone seems to be fighting for the same few spots."
"That's a shame. What's your major?"
"Economics."
Jin lets out a low whistle and says, "Impressive," which makes Kamenashi blush again and lower his gaze to the pointed toe of his polish-shined shoe. "Not really...it's the most common undergraduate major at Keio."
"I didn't go to college."
Jin doesn't say it with any resentment or bite so much as that he's just stating a fact, but Kamenashi still flinches a little, as though he feels he's offended him. "Oh," he says quietly. They're both silent for a moment, perhaps the most awkward they've been since they sat down together, but Kamenashi doesn't let the feeling linger long, continuing with, "So what did you do instead? Have you always worked for JR, or...?"
For a moment, Jin just stares down at his now-empty coffee cup, turning it in circles on the surface of the table between his fingers, but then he raises a hand to the back of his head in a modest gesture and admits, "Actually, I've worked at a bunch of different places since high school. I've only been with JR for about six months."
When he looks up again, Jin's surprised to see he has Kamenashi's full attention, and it doesn't seem negative, as he might have expected for trying to twist his words to put a positive spin in the fact that he's been out of high school for more than six years and yet he's still nothing more than a lowly freeter. But no, Kamenashi's actually looking at him like he wants to know more, a sentiment that gets confirmed when in the next moment he asks, "Ah, I see. So what did you do before JR?"
Jin looks away again, not exactly proud to admit where it was he held down the longest job of his working life. "I worked at a Family Mart for three years. In Jiyūgaoka." In that moment, he feels like he's going to lose whatever, if any, respect Kamenashi holds for him by revealing his greatest accomplishment in his "career" is working the register at a convenience store, so he's quick to clarify, saying, "For what it's worth, I really enjoyed the time I spent there. It was easy work, I had good co-workers, and we had a really good atmosphere in the store."
"So what happened?" Kamenashi asks, and again, Jin's shocked that the question comes laced with a tone of genuine concern instead of scorn, as though maintaining a minimum-wage job at a convenience store is something to aspire to.
"It got depressing after a while. The longer I was there, the more people recognized me when they came in, and they treated me like dirt because I was still working the same crappy job while they spent those three years...I don't know, advancing their lives, or whatever their justification for that was. That, and after every semester, new high school-age part-timers would come in, and I realized that if things were changing around me, I should probably try to change, too, so...I left."
Kamenashi nods in understanding, his eyes going wide with what appears to be (Jin can hardly believe it) admiration. "Good for you. Must be nice to have the freedom to change jobs whenever you feel like it, not like a salaryman, who's stuck working at the same place his entire life..."
Jin would argue that being a salaryman has its own perks, namely the salary part of it, but he doesn't know if that's a good point to make when all of a sudden the look in Kamenashi's eyes seems tinged with bitterness, and he wonders if the other is really that glum about his own prospects. It fascinates him to think that even though they clearly come from such different walks of life, it's possible they harbor the same doubts and cynicism regarding their own futures and the future of their society. It makes him want to ignore the warning bells going off in his head telling him not to open such a deep thread of conversation during a first meeting with someone he could potentially have a romantic interest in. Above all, he really wants to know what makes Kamenashi tick, but it's unlikely this is the time or the place for it. "Yeah, I guess," he eventually says, shutting the door on that particular conversation before it can escalate into a full debate, asking instead, "So what about you? How did you get to be where you are now?"
Kamenashi snaps back to attention at the sudden question, but before he can answer, his stomach audibly rumbles, and he lets out a peal of shy, surprised laughter as he clutches at his middle, which Jin finds absolutely adorable. "Ah, sorry-forgot I haven't eaten yet. Are you hungry? Do you mind if I get something?"
It takes Kamenashi's admission for Jin to realize that he'd forgotten the same, and when he reveals that, Kamenashi scoots closer with the menu so they can both see it. They both end up getting sandwich sets and another round of drinks, and when their food comes, Kamenashi asks to swap half of his tuna and mayo for Jin's ham, egg, and cheese. Jin lets him, feeling a bit like he's back in elementary school swapping lunches with his best friend, which he realizes isn't a bad feeling at all as he watches Kamenashi lift what had been half of his sandwich to his lips to take a bite. After chewing and swallowing behind a dainty hand, Kamenashi licks his lips once and says, "Just as I thought, yours is better than mine."
Jin laughs and takes a sip of his hot green tea. "Why didn't you order that, then?"
"I wanted to, but I couldn't decide between that and the tuna. But thanks to you, now I can have both!"
He's really cute, Jin realizes, watching Kamenashi wrap his lips around the straw of his caramel and whipped cream-topped blended iced coffee thing. He can smell the sweetness of it, and it's overpowering, but not nearly as much as Kamenashi himself, who smells nicely of expensive cologne and still hasn't moved back to the other side of the table. Clearing his head of a rapid-fire thought process that ended with him wondering what it would be like to taste Kamenashi instead of his meal or his drink, he leans a little bit closer and tries again, "So, your life story..."
Kamenashi laughs and runs his fingers over the rim of his cup. "What about it?"
"How'd you end up as an economics major at Keio?"
Kamenashi smiles, but it looks a little tight at the corners, and his tongue slips out to run over his lips again. "In a word, baseball."
Jin's eyebrows shoot up again, as that had been one of the last things he'd expected to hear. "Baseball," he echoes disbelievingly. "You know that's going to require elaboration."
Kamenashi takes another sip of his sugary concoction, and the caramel sweetness that Jin can smell on his breath when he chuckles makes a shiver run down the length of his back. "Are you sure you have time for that? It's kind of a long story."
Jin doesn't even bother checking his watch. "Yeah, it's fine. I don't have to be at work until around quarter to six."
"Well, then," Kamenashi starts, and he launches into his story, starting with his memories of his elementary school years, when his father had signed him up for tee-ball, soccer, and even dance classes (for building better coordination, he'd claimed) to encourage the continuation of a long legacy of athletes in the Kamenashi family, as his two older brothers had proved hopeless at any and all sports. Then when he'd gotten a little older, he'd discovered an innate talent for pitching, and baseball became his passion. Kamenashi admits he doesn't remember a lot from junior high other than throwing himself into training, his Little League games, and studying his butt off for the grueling entrance exams for Keio's feeder high school, which would put him on the fast track for getting accepted into the university. He'd set his sights on the Kantō region's prestigious Big Six league, of which Keio University was a member, and he would stop at nothing to earn a walk-on spot on the roster.
Never really a fan of baseball, a lot of the details of Kamenashi's explanation, like switch-hitting and pitch counts, go over Jin's head, but he again finds himself captivated by the motivation he sees in Kamenashi's eyes. Except the story thus far doesn't line up with the man he sees before him, so when Kamenashi suddenly stops speaking, he prompts, "So how was it when you got to college?" He doesn't want to come out and say it, but he doesn't see how anyone so set on making it as far as the Big Six can come away from it with anything other than a pro career, and yet here's Kamenashi talking about going to work for a bank.
Instead of answering his question, though, Kamenashi announces his need for a bathroom break. "All the coffee," he shyly explains, and Jin realizes he needs the same, rising from the table once Kamenashi returns.
When he comes back, he finds Kamenashi checking his phone with a frown. "Something wrong?" He moves to retake his seat, but stops short when Kamenashi turns his phone so he can see the clock on the screen, revealing that it's already after five, which means he'll be needing to head out soon if he wants to make it to the station in time to change into his uniform and check in with his boss before his shift on the platform starts. "Oh..."
Even through his displeasure at having to bring their afternoon together to an end, Jin feels something decidedly happy flutter in his belly when Kamenashi seems to echo his disappointment with a hum. "Well," he says, slowly rising from the table to stand beside Jin, "shall we?"
Jin nods, and when they go to pay, he tries to put down enough to cover the whole bill, but Kamenashi insists he doesn't have to, arguing that it wouldn't be fair for him to pay for both their meals when he originally only offered to treat him to a cup of coffee. They squabble about it for a little bit, but then Kamenashi playfully bumps Jin out of the way with his hip so he can pay for his share, and that settles that.
Out on the street, they're both all smiles again when Jin says, "This was fun."
The way Kamenashi doesn't hesitate for a moment in responding, "Yeah, we should do it again sometime," makes Jin feel warm all over, and it fills him with enough bravery to say, "I'd like that. You're a really interesting guy."
Kamenashi laughs loud and long, and there's a smile in his voice when he asks, "Yeah? How do you figure?"
Jin shoves his pockets into the pockets of his jeans and slows his pace a little, trying to make the short walk over to Tamachi Station last as long as possible. "Last night I would have guessed you were the quiet type, but then when I got to the café you seemed kind of...hyper, and now you're somewhere in the middle."
Kamenashi stops walking suddenly, and Jin notices that they've reached the pedestrian bridge leading to the station already, making him realize there probably hadn't been much point in trying to slow his pace when they'd had so little ground to cover in the first place. But Kamenashi stopping just short of their destination is (hopefully) a promising sign, and he feels his heart racing in his throat as he waits for the other to speak.
"Well, last night I was a bit disoriented-understandably," he says, pointing to the spot on the back of his head where his hair lays a little unnaturally due to the bump beneath it, "but today..." He pauses for a moment to flash Jin a shy smile. "I was nervous, because I thought you were really cute at the station last night, and it's nerve-wracking when you know you're about to meet a really cute guy."
It strikes Jin as a little odd that someone can be simultaneously self-conscious and charming, but Kamenashi seems to pull it off effortlessly. "I can relate," he ends up saying, his smile a pair with Kamenashi's.
"I'm nervous again now," the other continues, but the look he gives Jin from long lashes suggests he's anything but, and Jin finds he doesn't mind at all when he realizes he's succumbing to Kamenashi's charms.
"Oh yeah?" he prompts, and Kamenashi's smile widens a little.
He doesn't come out and clarify what it is that's making him nervous, but he doesn't have to, because the way his gaze flickers to Jin's lips gives him away. Jin sees the light of something akin to happiness come to Kamenashi's eyes as he steps closer so that the shadow of the staircase hides them from view, and he isn't surprised to feel the weight of arms around his neck.
Their mouths find each other seamlessly, if tentatively. One brush of Jin's mouth against Kamenashi's has the other grinning into it, and Jin doesn't mind at all when the arms around his neck tighten, giving Kamenashi the leverage to kiss him more firmly. When Jin feels a hand reach up to tangle in his hair, he has to focus very, very hard on his upcoming eight-hour shift on the train station platform to not give into his urge to wrap his arms around Kamenashi and make out with him like an inexperienced teenager.
Kamenashi seems to be thinking along similar lines, because he lets out a quiet sound when Jin starts to pull away and chases his lips a couple times for a few more soft pecks.
Jin feels the slightest bit woozy and unsteady on his feet as he tries to catch his breath. "...So you wouldn't be against doing this again sometime?"
Kamenashi smiles and lowers his hands to Jin's elbows, holding him close but not close enough to make him want to stay longer than he can get away with. "You have my number. I hope you'll use it."
"I will," Jin says, and he lets out a sigh, still hesitating to leave even though he knows he has to. "I hope I'm not keeping you from anything right now..."
Kamenashi shakes his head. "No, I was just going to go home after this."
"Oh yeah? And where's home for you?"
"Naka-Meguro."
Jin's eyebrows shoot up. "Nice area. So you'll transfer at...Ebisu?"
"Yup, to the subway. What about you?"
"Kikuna."
"Ah, okay. Same line as me, but on the Tokyū side, right? That's convenient."
"I'll say."
They both laugh a little when they realize the low, playful tone doesn't leave either of their voices, maintaining the suggestive air of the conversation, even when the content of it doesn't necessarily lend itself to that.
"C'mon," Jin continues, pressing their foreheads together to steal one more kiss before pulling away, which prompts a giggle from Kamenashi. "I'll walk you to the platfom."
After he leads Kamenashi across the bridge, Jin tells him to wait for a moment, and then he disappears behind an 'Employees Only' door. When he emerges a few minutes later, he's dressed in his full uniform, and he responds to the clear interest he sees in Kamenashi's eyes with a wink before heading down with him on the escalator to the tracks. Once he's seen him off on the Yamanote train bound for Ebisu with a salute, Jin moves to the end of the very same platform to start his shift.
The excitement of this new, promising...something he has with Kamenashi tingles just beneath the surface of his skin, and it keeps him smiling throughout his shift. When he goes to his locker to change once he's off the clock, he's thrilled to see an unread text message from Kamenashi waiting for him in his inbox. It would seem he'd meant it when he said he'd hoped Jin would call him, and he's not shy about initiating contact, either.
Just wanted to let you know I had a really good time today. Call me sometime! (wink)(sparkle)(thumbs-up)(grin)
--Kame
For the first time in a long time, Jin flops down on the bed in the sleeping quarters with a smile.
~*~*~*~
Part Two
By: sweetpaopuwind / bluebirdsongs
Pairing: Kame/Jin
Word count: ~35,800
Rating: R
Genre/Warnings: Romance, Fluff, Slice-of-life, Angst... Can't really think of any warnings other than language, implied smut, drinking, maybe some melodrama...whoops. :D;
Notes: Thanks so much to A, J, B, M, and L for all of their individual and collective contributions to this. From brainstorming to betaing to fixing nagging plotholes and pronoun usage, this fic never would have gotten finished without any of the people listed above. Thank you!!
Summary: The Yamanote line runs in a circle.
The Yamanote line runs in a circle. Stopping at each of the 29 stations on the 34.5 kilometer track, it takes about an hour to complete a full loop. Trains depart each station at a regular interval of 2½ to 4 minutes, depending on the time of day, and they run like clockwork. They have to, or else the daily commutes of up to three million passengers could be affected. Therefore, for all JR East employees, but particularly for those servicing the Yamanote line, efficiency is crucial.
Akanishi Jin, one of the attendants assigned to platforms 3 and 4 at Tamachi Station, servicing the outer circle of the Yamanote line and the Keihin-Tohoku line, knows this. From the moment the first gust of wind from an incoming train hits his face to when the doors close and the vehicle departs again, he has only minutes-sometimes mere seconds-to make sure everything on the platform is in proper order to facilitate the transfer of passengers on and off the trains so that they stay on schedule according to the digital marquee above the track.
It's a simple job, really-all he has to do is wave his red flag down the length of the platform to signal the approach of a train, exchange a few words with the driver when it stops, make sure the passengers get off and on in an orderly fashion, and signal his all-clear so the train can depart. At rush hour, though, when noisy bodies choke the platform, the overflow spilling up the stairs and over the yellow lines painted on the concrete marking a safe distance from the track, this is easier said than done. At those times, Jin has to shout instructions until he goes hoarse in order to be heard over the the din and sometimes he has to throw his full weight into forcing bodies inside to fill the last few centimeters of space available within the car so the doors can close. The only thing harder than that, he thinks, are the few tense seconds as the train leaves when he has to look into the eyes of the poor souls pressed uncomfortably against the glass.
Thankfully, though, Jin works the evening shift, when traffic is more spread out than it is in the morning, so he only has to deal with really crowded trains at the very peak hours and when special events that draw large crowds take place in the surrounding area, whereas his coworkers who work the morning rush hour have to do that sort of thing every 2½ minutes for up to four hours at a time. He doesn't envy them, but his own shift isn't without its pitfalls, either. Working the evening shift means he's also on board for the late-night shift, during which part of maintaining order on the platform means cleaning up after sloppy, drunk salarymen and finding polite ways to wake up those who doze off in the seats, the waiting rooms, and sometimes on the floor of the platform itself while waiting for the next train. When he's standing on the platform, hiding yawns behind his white-gloved hands and fighting off sleep himself until 2AM when his shift ends, he wishes he had the luxury of working strictly the lazy afternoon hours, but there's a system of seniority even among train station platform attendants, and those shifts only go to older men-those who have been serving the company the longest. Having been employed by JR for less than six months, Jin doubts he'll ever get one of those jobs, so he resolves to just bear with it until something better comes along that grants him the opportunity to quit.
Or maybe, he sometimes thinks after he's worked a particularly hard night, maybe I'll just quit.
And his night shifts have been particularly difficult lately. During the winter months, depression sweeps through Tokyo like a plague, and the mood of the passengers turns gloomier; their eyes turn constantly downcast, and their lips press together in hard, thin lines as they shuffle on and off the trains. In the few hours of downtime between the evening commute and the late night rush, Jin stands awkwardly at the end of the platform, picking at his uniform as he thinks back on one of the recent personnel meetings he'd been called in at 8AM for.
"Due to the high number of accidents in recent weeks," his boss had started, "we strongly advise all employees to be on special alert and to act immediately on all suspicious behavior."
Jin and his fellow attendants had nodded solemnly and lowered their heads. Although the Tamachi Station manager hadn't explicitly said so, they all understand that by 'accidents' he'd of course meant 'human accidents,' which referred almost exclusively to suicides, the victims of which were referred to in off-duty station employee conversations as 'jumpers'. For Jin, there's nothing more depressing about his job than being instructed to be on the lookout for people who look like they might be looking to end their lives by throwing themselves in front of a piece of stainless steel machinery moving at 90 kilometers per hour and then being given training on how to recognize the signs and respond appropriately.
That's training Jin's very glad to say he hasn't had to draw upon yet. He's never personally borne witness to a suicide, but there had been one on the Keihin-Tohoku line the week before, and when word of that event had reached him, for a moment he'd felt frozen with the realization that somewhere, probably not too far from him, someone had just passed out of the world, but then he'd had to snap back to the reality of the situation, which was that one of the busiest rapid-service lines in the city was now out of commission, and now he had to deal with the repercussions. Traffic had been snarled for hours, and the overflow of disgruntled passengers to the Yamanote line had been so great that Jin had found himself thinking at one point that whatever fine the victim's surviving family members would have to pay JR for the damages and the inconvenience caused by the suicide would be justified. He'd not been proud of himself that night, and he'd stumbled away from a bar at four in the morning with the thought that he really needed a new job.
So far, though, nothing had presented itself, so he would be stuck on platform 3 at Tamachi Station for at least a while longer, flagging trains ahead, cleaning up puke, rousing sleeping commuters, and keeping an eye out for potential suicides. For his own peace of mind, he'd like very much to not have to consider the possibility of someone dying before his eyes, but he works the very end of the platform, the first part of the station the train passes, and also where it's going the fastest. If someone were really intent on committing suicide on that particular platform, they'd be smart to do it on Jin's territory, where there would be a higher probability of instant, painless death. Really, the fact that Jin has yet to see it happen is the result of sheer dumb luck.
A sick feeling of dread rolls over him in waves when it seems as though his luck is about to run out. Among the small crowd of passengers waiting in line for the next train, a young salaryman suddenly stumbles forward. He looks worn and haggard, and his thin, wiry frame barely fills out his standard-issue three-piece suit. Jin hears the sound of his own pulse beating furiously in his ears as the young man doesn't stop at the line forming to board the last train car, instead making his way towards Jin and the very end of the platform. What is he thinking? Is he drunk? Instead of flushed with drink, the man's face looks sickly and pale, and the fact that he seems unsteady on his feet has bile creeping up the back of Jin's throat. For some reason, most JR platforms don't have guardrails like those at the subway stations do, so if this guy were to lose his balance, there would be nothing to break his fall and prevent him from toppling all the way onto the tracks. Unless that's what he's trying to do, Jin's mind helpfully provides, and Jin swallows thickly. "Sir, please wait behind the yellow line!" he tries calling out, but the other makes no acknowledgment that he's heard him.
The breeze suddenly picks up, lifting Jin's hair from the nape of his neck-air being displaced by the force of an approaching train. The regular recorded chime and message announcing the train's arrival play across the platform, and when he sees the young salaryman's eyes fixed on the vehicle's headlights, he realizes with a sense of horror that the guy's probably going to try to jump. Adrenaline kicks in, and with a shout, he launches himself at the man just as the train glides into the station.
He doesn't realize until they're sprawled in a tangled heap of limbs on the concrete that the other hadn't moved when he'd tackled him.
"Ow, motherfucker, that hurt,"the guy exclaims, clutching at the back of his head where it must have made contact with the platform. "What the hell did you do that for?!"
Jin clambers backwards, and he wilts a little under the other's heated glare. I...you...it looked like you..." He ends up trailing off, unable to think of a polite way to say, "You looked like you were about to off yourself."
"I wasn't trying to jump, if that's what you're thinking. I just needed some air."
Jin's eyes go wide. "Oh," he says lamely, and then continues with, "sorry," lowering his head out of habit, but he has to fight back a wave of irritation at the thought that he's apologizing for trying to save someone's life. Though, in the process of trying to save a life that apparently hadn't been in need of saving, he'd probably gone and given the man a concussion, so maybe an apology was in order. The least he can do now is see if the guy's all right...
Staggering to his feet, Jin offers him a hand and helps pull him to his feet. "Sorry, I understand it's late and you probably want to go home, but I'll need to take you to the first aid room to get that bump on your head checked out first. Also, there's likely some paperwork that you'll need to fill out."
The other sighs in a way that Jin takes to mean, "Well, if it can't be helped," so Jin pages one of his coworkers on the walkie-talkie at his hip to relieve him so he can escort the injured man upstairs.
Jin sits in the office filling out his side of the paperwork regarding the incident while his boss ushers the 'victim' in for a brief medical exam. He hopes that relating his version of events to management will be enough to be granted permission to clock out early on the grounds of acute psychological trauma, but after he submits the documents, they just clap him on the back for following protocol and send him back downstairs, his shoulders slumped in disappointment. He gets distracted on the way back down to the platform, though, by the sight of a young, thin salaryman with a strip of gauze wrapped around his head standing on the pedestrian bridge just beyond the entrance to the station. Without really thinking about what he's doing, Jin jumps the ticket gate and runs after him. "Hey!"
His shout startles not only the people passing by, but the man himself, too, and Jin finds himself apologizing again when the other looks up from his phone to regard him nervously. "Yes?"
Hands on his knees, Jin keeps his gaze fixed firmly on his scuffed dress shoes as he bows. "I'm really sorry about...you know, what happened on the platform. How's your, uh..." Straightening again, he gestures vaguely to the thin strip of cloth wound around the crown of the man's head.
"Oh...it's fine. No concussion, just a bad bump. Painkillers and rest should take care of it."
For as angry as he had seemed on the platform, Jin's surprised and relieved to see the corners of the other's mouth turn upwards in the beginnings of a courteous (but still genuine, as far as Jin can tell) smile. He wonders for a moment where all of that anger went, but then figures that maybe the adrenaline from being tackled by a complete stranger had drawn out that furious tone, or perhaps he's already gotten some painkillers for the bump on his head, and the pills are making him happy. Regardless of where it came from, the sight of it, even though his complexion still looks rather ashen and he has deep, dark circles beneath his eyes, is enough to make Jin smile, too, and he absentmindedly reaches a hand up to scratch at the back of his head. "If it wouldn't cause you any more trouble, can I at least treat you to coffee or something to make up for it?"
The man seems to consider for a moment, and something unreadable (appraisal, maybe?) flashes in his eyes before he says, "Sure. Is tomorrow okay? I'll be in the area, and I'm free after one."
Jin nods and fishes his cell phone out of the pocket of his uniform jacket. "Tomorrow's good. Ah, should we maybe get each other's contact information? Just in case..." His cheeks flush a little at the thought that maybe exchanging phone numbers and e-mail addresses isn't necessary for a one-time meeting, but the other doesn't question him and instead holds his phone to his to establish the infrared connection between them.
While the data transfers, he says, "There's a café right across from Keio's East Gate, down the street from Tokyo Tower. I'll meet you there between one and one-thirty?"
A beep sounds from Jin's phone indicating a successful completion of the transfer. "Sounds good...Kamenashi," he adds with a smile after checking his updated contact list.
Kamenashi smiles and does the same. "Nice to meet you, Akanishi. I've got to run for now, but I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
After Kamenashi lowers his head a little and turns away, it takes Jin a few seconds to realize that at some point in the conversation he'd gone from apologizing to flirting, and Kamenashi had seemed to respond well to it. When he eventually gets back to work, the rest of his shift on the platform seems to fly by, but when he retires to the station's sleeping quarters set up for the employees who work past the last train (Jin's found it ironic since his very first day that even though he works for the train company, he can't catch a train home after work until the following morning), it finally clicks in his head that Kamenashi had mentioned Keio University because he's not a salaryman at all, but a college student, and likely a rich one at that.
The only thing he can think of to say to that is, "Oh, shit."
~*~*~*~
After catching about 2½ hours' worth of rest in the sleeping room, Jin grabs a seat on the first southbound Keihin-Tohoku line train of the morning to roll through Tamachi (at an ungodly 5:14AM), snoozes all the way to his transfer point at Higashikanagawa, gets off the Yokohama line at Kikuna, and falls back into bed in his crappy apartment overlooking the station by about six. Normally, he'd be dead to the world until two or three in the afternoon after working all night, but before he falls asleep he remembers he has a date with rich college kid Kamenashi Kazuya across from Keio University's main campus in Mita at one, so he blearily sets his phone alarm for eleven, tosses it somewhere beside him on the mattress, and smashes his face into his pillow.
It's not until several hours later, when he's standing helplessly in front of his closet trying to figure out what to wear that he remembers it's not a date. By that point, though, it doesn't matter. He's gone into full-blown panic mode, and not because he can't figure out which not-girly necklace best brings out the different shades of brown in his eyes. While he would like to dress a bit more nicely than usual to make a good impression, his problem lies more with trying to remember the last time he wore a shirt that cost more than 300 yen. High school, maybe, but he can't very well show up to the café in his old uniform jacket or trousers, even if there was a chance they still fit him. After going through all of his clothes three times, he realizes he has absolutely nothing he can wear that would win him the approval of someone who goes to Keio, because it's the kind of university where both the professors and the students show up to class in Alfa Romeros, and...yeah, there's just no way Jin can compete with that. He'd have to win the lottery or become the next CEO of JR first-two things that are very unlikely to happen to him any time soon.
In the end he goes with a pair of faded, baggy jeans that as far as he can tell don't have any rips or stains other than artistic ones and a shirt that looks like it could be designer, but isn't, which one of his friends had brought back for him from a trip to LA. Mindful of the time, he pulls on a pair of boots as quickly as he can and grabs a nondescript white hoodie and his keys on the way out.
When he gets to the café (only a few minutes late, thanks to most of his preparation time being spent throwing clothes over his shoulder onto his bed with varying amounts of disgust), he finds Kamenashi already seated at a table waiting for him, and when the other stands up to wave him over, Jin sees he's dressed in another suit. A quick glance around at the other tables as he makes his way over reveals that the café is packed with students, most if not all of them dressed similarly to Kamenashi, which makes him feel even more out of place in his distinctly plebeian garb. A blush spreads across his cheeks, and he feels his face only heat further when he gets close enough to notice that Kamenashi's dark pinstripe suit is far nicer than the one he'd been wearing the night before at the train station, its stylish cut showing off the lines of his slender body instead of hanging off his frame...
A chair leg suddenly appears in Jin's path, and he yelps a little when it makes contact with his shin. The chair in question turns out to be the one across from Kamenashi, and he drops down into it before he can embarrass himself any further. "Hi."
Instead of sitting back down, Kamenashi moves around the table to get a better look when Jin lowers a hand to rub at what he's sure will later be a nasty bruise. "You okay?"
Jin finds it a little unsettling having Kamenashi so close so suddenly. Even though they'd had two separate conversations the night before, seeing him and talking to him away from work feels like something entirely different. The night before at the station, even after he'd seen Kamenashi lurch dangerously on the platform and tackled him (which had been a first for him, thank you very much), Kamenashi had still been just another passenger, his face one of thousands to appear before Jin each day. Like all of the others, his distinguishing features had gotten processed and conveyed to Jin's brain in electric pulses that flickered for a few seconds before dying out again, already forgotten. In most cases, Jin doesn't even try to remember, zoning out while the details of his workday enter and leave his consciousness like a shinkansen going through a tunnel.
That would have been Kamenashi's fate if the end of their interaction had come down on the platform. Jin could have gone home with just the knowledge that he'd made an error in judgment and launched himself at some poor, unsuspecting salaryman in the middle of his shift (and he'd have sworn the guy to high heaven and back as he told the story to his friends over beer, because he'd been right to act, and apologizing out of obligation even when one's in the right just blows). He'd have gone on with his life never knowing the guy wasn't a salaryman at all, but a rich (he presumes) student attending one of the most prestigious universities in the country, and he certainly wouldn't have wound up about to have coffee with said guy across the street from said university. But then he'd seen Kamenashi standing there on the bridge, one hand on the railing looking out over the street while the other fiddled with his cell phone, and everything had changed. Even though he'd still been at work and still been in full uniform, running through the ticket gate and feeling the crisp air of a chilly February night settle in his lungs had lifted the spell of numbness and lethargy that settles over him at work and allows him to go blissfully blank. He'd been himself for a moment-kind, honest, fair, and (he can admit to himself, in hindsight), the slightest bit opportunistic. He's fairly confident he wouldn't have made the same offer to personally make up for the inconvenience he'd caused had his victim in fact been the average middle-aged salaryman.
But still, even with his decidedly less than pure motivations for extending the first invitation, the situation is completely different now. Yes, he's seeing the same face before him as he had the night before, but now he's seeing it and committing its features to memory tagged with a name. It doesn't take him long to realize that the alertness and focus he sees in Kamenashi's intense, almond-shaped eyes, despite the puffiness and dark circles in the hollows beneath them, have him captivated. Likewise, he likes the curious bump in the bridge of his nose and the way his thin lips so easily quirk upwards at the corners. He even finds it endearing the way his sculpted eyebrows furrow, kind of like they're doing now, as though expecting some sort of answer to...wait, had Kamenashi asked him a question just now? Was he supposed to respond? Shit. Shit shit shit.
"Uh...I think I'll go with a latte. Half-and-half instead of whole milk and light on the whipped cream, please."
Jin finds it attractive, too, how it appears as though Kamenashi has to hold a hand to his mouth to physically contain his giggles, but he'd very much prefer it if Kamenashi wasn't laughing at his expense. Apparently that hadn't been the answer the other was looking for. What had he even been asked? Damn.
"I think you'd better tell that to the barista, not to me," Kamenashi says, his eyes sparkling with laughter and crinkling at the corners from the width of his smile. "You must need a pick-me-up as badly as I do if you're that out of it. You do look pretty beat... Are the higher-ups at JR all slavedrivers or something? I asked you if your leg was okay, because that sounded like it hurt..."
Jin sits in stunned silence for a moment, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Kamenashi is apparently an enthusiastic talker, when he definitely wouldn't have pegged him as one. Though, when Jin had formed that impression of him, Kamenashi had looked exhausted, and then he'd unexpectedly had his head slammed against the ground. Jin doesn't imagine he'd be too talkative, either, if something like that had happened to him. Still, though, it takes him by surprise, and he has to take a moment to catch up with the other's words before he can even think of something to say in response.
"Oh," he starts, not at all surprised to feel his cheeks start to burn again, "sorry, I zoned out for a second. But 'slavedrivers,' yeah, that sounds about right. It certainly feels like it when I get home from a late shift at six in the morning. But yeah, my leg's all right. Thanks for asking." To be honest, he'd completely forgotten he'd hurt it at all when he'd gotten lost in thought, but he's not about to admit to Kamenashi what it was that had distracted him.
Somewhere above him, he hears Kamenashi click his tongue. "Six in the morning, huh? That's rough-no wonder you look worn out. Come on, let's get some coffee in you and perk you up-you're buying, remember!"
With that, Kamenashi tilts his head in the direction of the counter, making his wavy brown hair fall away from his shoulder, and Jin has to try very hard to play it cool when the smile Kamenashi gives him makes his heart do something weird and fluttery, disguising a surprised gasp as a short round of high-pitched chortles. Jin fails pretty hard at acting cool sometimes, and he mentally kicks himself for his lack of coolness all the way to the counter when they go to place their orders.
About five minutes later, they settle into their seats, steaming cups of caffeinated beverages in hand. Ironically, the espresso Kamenashi ordered seems to calm him down, as he lets out a contented hum after his first sip and afterwards begins speaking at a noticeably slower clip while his fingers wrap around the ceramic cup. "You know, it might not seem like it, but actually where we're sitting could be considered a lions' den."
Jin's eyebrows shoot towards his hairline behind his own cup as he takes another sip of his latte. "What?"
Kamenashi glances around at the other tables, which makes Jin nervously do the same. "What I mean is...Keio's main campus, the one across the street here, is the upperclassmen campus. And now that the fall semester's over," he says, pausing for a moment to take another sip of his espresso, "everyone's focus is shifting to their careers, meaning they're in for countless weeks of job searching, resumé writing, and interviews." Cup in hand, he leans back in his seat and crosses one knee over the other, revealing to Jin's gaze a sleek pair of black pointed-toed dress shoes, completing Kamenashi's look, which altogether probably costs more than Jin's rent. If Kamenashi notices anything off about how Jin's looking at him, he doesn't say so, instead continuing, "...Myself included. Just before this, I had an interview with Sumitomo Mitsui."
From his words, Jin would accuse Kamenashi of bragging about the opportunities available to him, except his expression behind his coffee cup looks strangely ambivalent for someone who just revealed he'd had an interview to work at one of the biggest banks in Japan. Instead of voicing his observation, however, he says, "Ah, so you are a student," to confirm his initial hunch, which might make him look a little stupid, but that's better than following the thread of a potentially awkward conversation. Around the rip of his coffee cup, he asks, "What year?"
"Actually, I'll graduate in March."
Jin raises his cup with a smile in congratulations, and a light blush comes to Kamenashi's cheeks, matching his sudden burst of bashful laughter. "Congratulate me after I've found a job. I said it's like a lions' den-with the economy the way it is, even within the corporations that specifically look to hire Keio graduates, everyone seems to be fighting for the same few spots."
"That's a shame. What's your major?"
"Economics."
Jin lets out a low whistle and says, "Impressive," which makes Kamenashi blush again and lower his gaze to the pointed toe of his polish-shined shoe. "Not really...it's the most common undergraduate major at Keio."
"I didn't go to college."
Jin doesn't say it with any resentment or bite so much as that he's just stating a fact, but Kamenashi still flinches a little, as though he feels he's offended him. "Oh," he says quietly. They're both silent for a moment, perhaps the most awkward they've been since they sat down together, but Kamenashi doesn't let the feeling linger long, continuing with, "So what did you do instead? Have you always worked for JR, or...?"
For a moment, Jin just stares down at his now-empty coffee cup, turning it in circles on the surface of the table between his fingers, but then he raises a hand to the back of his head in a modest gesture and admits, "Actually, I've worked at a bunch of different places since high school. I've only been with JR for about six months."
When he looks up again, Jin's surprised to see he has Kamenashi's full attention, and it doesn't seem negative, as he might have expected for trying to twist his words to put a positive spin in the fact that he's been out of high school for more than six years and yet he's still nothing more than a lowly freeter. But no, Kamenashi's actually looking at him like he wants to know more, a sentiment that gets confirmed when in the next moment he asks, "Ah, I see. So what did you do before JR?"
Jin looks away again, not exactly proud to admit where it was he held down the longest job of his working life. "I worked at a Family Mart for three years. In Jiyūgaoka." In that moment, he feels like he's going to lose whatever, if any, respect Kamenashi holds for him by revealing his greatest accomplishment in his "career" is working the register at a convenience store, so he's quick to clarify, saying, "For what it's worth, I really enjoyed the time I spent there. It was easy work, I had good co-workers, and we had a really good atmosphere in the store."
"So what happened?" Kamenashi asks, and again, Jin's shocked that the question comes laced with a tone of genuine concern instead of scorn, as though maintaining a minimum-wage job at a convenience store is something to aspire to.
"It got depressing after a while. The longer I was there, the more people recognized me when they came in, and they treated me like dirt because I was still working the same crappy job while they spent those three years...I don't know, advancing their lives, or whatever their justification for that was. That, and after every semester, new high school-age part-timers would come in, and I realized that if things were changing around me, I should probably try to change, too, so...I left."
Kamenashi nods in understanding, his eyes going wide with what appears to be (Jin can hardly believe it) admiration. "Good for you. Must be nice to have the freedom to change jobs whenever you feel like it, not like a salaryman, who's stuck working at the same place his entire life..."
Jin would argue that being a salaryman has its own perks, namely the salary part of it, but he doesn't know if that's a good point to make when all of a sudden the look in Kamenashi's eyes seems tinged with bitterness, and he wonders if the other is really that glum about his own prospects. It fascinates him to think that even though they clearly come from such different walks of life, it's possible they harbor the same doubts and cynicism regarding their own futures and the future of their society. It makes him want to ignore the warning bells going off in his head telling him not to open such a deep thread of conversation during a first meeting with someone he could potentially have a romantic interest in. Above all, he really wants to know what makes Kamenashi tick, but it's unlikely this is the time or the place for it. "Yeah, I guess," he eventually says, shutting the door on that particular conversation before it can escalate into a full debate, asking instead, "So what about you? How did you get to be where you are now?"
Kamenashi snaps back to attention at the sudden question, but before he can answer, his stomach audibly rumbles, and he lets out a peal of shy, surprised laughter as he clutches at his middle, which Jin finds absolutely adorable. "Ah, sorry-forgot I haven't eaten yet. Are you hungry? Do you mind if I get something?"
It takes Kamenashi's admission for Jin to realize that he'd forgotten the same, and when he reveals that, Kamenashi scoots closer with the menu so they can both see it. They both end up getting sandwich sets and another round of drinks, and when their food comes, Kamenashi asks to swap half of his tuna and mayo for Jin's ham, egg, and cheese. Jin lets him, feeling a bit like he's back in elementary school swapping lunches with his best friend, which he realizes isn't a bad feeling at all as he watches Kamenashi lift what had been half of his sandwich to his lips to take a bite. After chewing and swallowing behind a dainty hand, Kamenashi licks his lips once and says, "Just as I thought, yours is better than mine."
Jin laughs and takes a sip of his hot green tea. "Why didn't you order that, then?"
"I wanted to, but I couldn't decide between that and the tuna. But thanks to you, now I can have both!"
He's really cute, Jin realizes, watching Kamenashi wrap his lips around the straw of his caramel and whipped cream-topped blended iced coffee thing. He can smell the sweetness of it, and it's overpowering, but not nearly as much as Kamenashi himself, who smells nicely of expensive cologne and still hasn't moved back to the other side of the table. Clearing his head of a rapid-fire thought process that ended with him wondering what it would be like to taste Kamenashi instead of his meal or his drink, he leans a little bit closer and tries again, "So, your life story..."
Kamenashi laughs and runs his fingers over the rim of his cup. "What about it?"
"How'd you end up as an economics major at Keio?"
Kamenashi smiles, but it looks a little tight at the corners, and his tongue slips out to run over his lips again. "In a word, baseball."
Jin's eyebrows shoot up again, as that had been one of the last things he'd expected to hear. "Baseball," he echoes disbelievingly. "You know that's going to require elaboration."
Kamenashi takes another sip of his sugary concoction, and the caramel sweetness that Jin can smell on his breath when he chuckles makes a shiver run down the length of his back. "Are you sure you have time for that? It's kind of a long story."
Jin doesn't even bother checking his watch. "Yeah, it's fine. I don't have to be at work until around quarter to six."
"Well, then," Kamenashi starts, and he launches into his story, starting with his memories of his elementary school years, when his father had signed him up for tee-ball, soccer, and even dance classes (for building better coordination, he'd claimed) to encourage the continuation of a long legacy of athletes in the Kamenashi family, as his two older brothers had proved hopeless at any and all sports. Then when he'd gotten a little older, he'd discovered an innate talent for pitching, and baseball became his passion. Kamenashi admits he doesn't remember a lot from junior high other than throwing himself into training, his Little League games, and studying his butt off for the grueling entrance exams for Keio's feeder high school, which would put him on the fast track for getting accepted into the university. He'd set his sights on the Kantō region's prestigious Big Six league, of which Keio University was a member, and he would stop at nothing to earn a walk-on spot on the roster.
Never really a fan of baseball, a lot of the details of Kamenashi's explanation, like switch-hitting and pitch counts, go over Jin's head, but he again finds himself captivated by the motivation he sees in Kamenashi's eyes. Except the story thus far doesn't line up with the man he sees before him, so when Kamenashi suddenly stops speaking, he prompts, "So how was it when you got to college?" He doesn't want to come out and say it, but he doesn't see how anyone so set on making it as far as the Big Six can come away from it with anything other than a pro career, and yet here's Kamenashi talking about going to work for a bank.
Instead of answering his question, though, Kamenashi announces his need for a bathroom break. "All the coffee," he shyly explains, and Jin realizes he needs the same, rising from the table once Kamenashi returns.
When he comes back, he finds Kamenashi checking his phone with a frown. "Something wrong?" He moves to retake his seat, but stops short when Kamenashi turns his phone so he can see the clock on the screen, revealing that it's already after five, which means he'll be needing to head out soon if he wants to make it to the station in time to change into his uniform and check in with his boss before his shift on the platform starts. "Oh..."
Even through his displeasure at having to bring their afternoon together to an end, Jin feels something decidedly happy flutter in his belly when Kamenashi seems to echo his disappointment with a hum. "Well," he says, slowly rising from the table to stand beside Jin, "shall we?"
Jin nods, and when they go to pay, he tries to put down enough to cover the whole bill, but Kamenashi insists he doesn't have to, arguing that it wouldn't be fair for him to pay for both their meals when he originally only offered to treat him to a cup of coffee. They squabble about it for a little bit, but then Kamenashi playfully bumps Jin out of the way with his hip so he can pay for his share, and that settles that.
Out on the street, they're both all smiles again when Jin says, "This was fun."
The way Kamenashi doesn't hesitate for a moment in responding, "Yeah, we should do it again sometime," makes Jin feel warm all over, and it fills him with enough bravery to say, "I'd like that. You're a really interesting guy."
Kamenashi laughs loud and long, and there's a smile in his voice when he asks, "Yeah? How do you figure?"
Jin shoves his pockets into the pockets of his jeans and slows his pace a little, trying to make the short walk over to Tamachi Station last as long as possible. "Last night I would have guessed you were the quiet type, but then when I got to the café you seemed kind of...hyper, and now you're somewhere in the middle."
Kamenashi stops walking suddenly, and Jin notices that they've reached the pedestrian bridge leading to the station already, making him realize there probably hadn't been much point in trying to slow his pace when they'd had so little ground to cover in the first place. But Kamenashi stopping just short of their destination is (hopefully) a promising sign, and he feels his heart racing in his throat as he waits for the other to speak.
"Well, last night I was a bit disoriented-understandably," he says, pointing to the spot on the back of his head where his hair lays a little unnaturally due to the bump beneath it, "but today..." He pauses for a moment to flash Jin a shy smile. "I was nervous, because I thought you were really cute at the station last night, and it's nerve-wracking when you know you're about to meet a really cute guy."
It strikes Jin as a little odd that someone can be simultaneously self-conscious and charming, but Kamenashi seems to pull it off effortlessly. "I can relate," he ends up saying, his smile a pair with Kamenashi's.
"I'm nervous again now," the other continues, but the look he gives Jin from long lashes suggests he's anything but, and Jin finds he doesn't mind at all when he realizes he's succumbing to Kamenashi's charms.
"Oh yeah?" he prompts, and Kamenashi's smile widens a little.
He doesn't come out and clarify what it is that's making him nervous, but he doesn't have to, because the way his gaze flickers to Jin's lips gives him away. Jin sees the light of something akin to happiness come to Kamenashi's eyes as he steps closer so that the shadow of the staircase hides them from view, and he isn't surprised to feel the weight of arms around his neck.
Their mouths find each other seamlessly, if tentatively. One brush of Jin's mouth against Kamenashi's has the other grinning into it, and Jin doesn't mind at all when the arms around his neck tighten, giving Kamenashi the leverage to kiss him more firmly. When Jin feels a hand reach up to tangle in his hair, he has to focus very, very hard on his upcoming eight-hour shift on the train station platform to not give into his urge to wrap his arms around Kamenashi and make out with him like an inexperienced teenager.
Kamenashi seems to be thinking along similar lines, because he lets out a quiet sound when Jin starts to pull away and chases his lips a couple times for a few more soft pecks.
Jin feels the slightest bit woozy and unsteady on his feet as he tries to catch his breath. "...So you wouldn't be against doing this again sometime?"
Kamenashi smiles and lowers his hands to Jin's elbows, holding him close but not close enough to make him want to stay longer than he can get away with. "You have my number. I hope you'll use it."
"I will," Jin says, and he lets out a sigh, still hesitating to leave even though he knows he has to. "I hope I'm not keeping you from anything right now..."
Kamenashi shakes his head. "No, I was just going to go home after this."
"Oh yeah? And where's home for you?"
"Naka-Meguro."
Jin's eyebrows shoot up. "Nice area. So you'll transfer at...Ebisu?"
"Yup, to the subway. What about you?"
"Kikuna."
"Ah, okay. Same line as me, but on the Tokyū side, right? That's convenient."
"I'll say."
They both laugh a little when they realize the low, playful tone doesn't leave either of their voices, maintaining the suggestive air of the conversation, even when the content of it doesn't necessarily lend itself to that.
"C'mon," Jin continues, pressing their foreheads together to steal one more kiss before pulling away, which prompts a giggle from Kamenashi. "I'll walk you to the platfom."
After he leads Kamenashi across the bridge, Jin tells him to wait for a moment, and then he disappears behind an 'Employees Only' door. When he emerges a few minutes later, he's dressed in his full uniform, and he responds to the clear interest he sees in Kamenashi's eyes with a wink before heading down with him on the escalator to the tracks. Once he's seen him off on the Yamanote train bound for Ebisu with a salute, Jin moves to the end of the very same platform to start his shift.
The excitement of this new, promising...something he has with Kamenashi tingles just beneath the surface of his skin, and it keeps him smiling throughout his shift. When he goes to his locker to change once he's off the clock, he's thrilled to see an unread text message from Kamenashi waiting for him in his inbox. It would seem he'd meant it when he said he'd hoped Jin would call him, and he's not shy about initiating contact, either.
Just wanted to let you know I had a really good time today. Call me sometime! (wink)(sparkle)(thumbs-up)(grin)
--Kame
For the first time in a long time, Jin flops down on the bed in the sleeping quarters with a smile.
~*~*~*~
Part Two