fic for simourva
Title: Opposites Attract: Or, Things Jin Learned in the Afterlife
By: katmillia
Pairing: Jin/Kame
Word count: ~12,000
Rating: PG
Warnings: Language, large privileges taken with the whole "afterlife" concept
Notes: Much, much thanks to my beta, for looking over this at the last minute, and for everyone on my tlist who assured me that this was, in fact, not crap. Much obliged. ♥
Summary: It was a weird twist of something (Jin refused to call it fate, because he didn't work in the Department of Destined Life Events, and was pretty sure they didn't deal with other angels anyway) that landed Jin in Matchmaking, and one he wasn't too happy about.
The smoke billowed up to the sky, dark against the bright, brilliant blue, and then there was a loud crash as the ceiling gave out again, sending splintered beams and smoldering wood down to the ground. The force of the whole thing sent embers shooting out in every direction, and the foundation started to creak and moan and sag in on itself, and then there was a long, creaking moan from the sides.
When the walls fell in on themselves, the crash was loud enough to make Jin cover his ears. He also squeezed his eyes shut, just in case the whole thing would disappear by the time he opened them again, but wishful thinking like that never actually happened. When he cracked his eyelids again, there was still smoke, and fire, and the shed probably only had moments left. Which was pretty much bad news for everyone involved, which was mostly just Jin.
And the cat.
After a long minute, there was the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat behind him. Jin winced, shoulders tensing.
He turned to see Tackey standing a few feet back, hands on his hips. He looked annoyed, but not surprised, and that was honestly the worst part of the whole thing. Jin was pretty sure that Tackey had probably expected something like that to happen, and the thought of his boss thinking so low of him made Jin's stomach churn.
"Listen," Jin said, holding his hands out in front of him. "I can totally explain."
"My office," Tackey said, all final-sounding and resolute and shit. "Now."
--
"No, I'm serious," Jin whined, slumping down in the chair. Tackey kept really uncomfortable chairs opposite his desk, and Jin was pretty sure he did it on purpose, just to make people even more tense during meetings. "I had a really great plan, and it all-"
"Jin," Tackey said. He was rubbing his fingers over his eyes like he was really, really tired or something. Jin couldn't see how Tackey could possibly be that tired, it's not like he just tried to save a family's beloved pet cat. "In the last six months, you have been responsible for the demise of three dogs, six cats-"
"That bobcat was not my fault!" Jin interjected, shoes screeching against the tiles.
Tackey just kept going like he hadn't heard him (he was probably ignoring Jin again). "-two mice, one talking parrot, and an exotic, rainbow salamander. This is easily the worst record I've ever seen, and I've been doing this for a really long time."
Jin bit back a retort about Tackey's age. It was probably a bad idea, considering the circumstances. Tackey picked up a file folder, brimming and overflowing with papers, like Jin was supposed to know what the crap meant or something. Obviously, Jin didn't.
"What is that?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"The grievances that have been filed against you," Tackey said, and slammed the folder back down on his desk.
Alright, to be fair, it did look kind of thick.
"Listen," Jin said. "This is seriously not my fault. I swear, something is working against me. I had absolutely no idea that dry grass would catch on fire like that, I really didn't."
Tackey gave him a long, hard look, and Jin shrank back down in the chair again. His boss sighed, sounding more dramatic than he really needed to, and then stood up, moving over to the set of filing cabinets against the far wall.
"You know how important our work here is, Jin," he said, rifling through some papers without really looking in Jin's direction, which was kind of rude. "As angels, the agency provides invaluable help to those living below, and it's our duty to see every assignment through to the best of our ability."
"Yeah, I know all this," Jin mumbled.
"You, however," Tackey continued, and opened one of the cabinets with a loud, rattling bang, "are not the best of our ability. I'm sorry, Jin, I really am, but I am going to have to transfer you out of the Animal Guardianship department. We just can't have you messing up any more of these assignments."
He didn't seem to be kidding. He looked serious. Jin started to panic, because he really, really didn't want to get demoted. Again. He'd already been demoted three times, and he wasn't sure how much lower he could actually get before he was resigned to Fax Duty in the agency copy room. And he so did not want to work with Nagase again. His ass could only handle so much groping.
"Tackey," he started, prepared to beg.
"I've got your transfer paperwork all ready," Tackey told him. He even held it up, like he didn't think Jin believed him or something. "Look, you just.... need to learn some finesse. And restraint. And I've got a place to put you where I think you can learn both. I've got somebody who is willing to show you the ropes and he's really motivated, and organized, and the higher-ups really think he's going to move through the ranks quickly-"
Jin sort of cut him off by lunging off the chair and grappling for Tackey's legs. So, in hindsight, not the brightest idea he'd ever had, but maybe if Tackey couldn't walk, he couldn't get the transfer papers signed. Jin had to hope.
"Please!" Jin cried, squeezing his arms tighter around Tackey's legs as he flailed a bit to get his legs back underneath him. "I'll do anything! Hamster Duty! Goldfish Duty, please! Please, please don't transfer me to Matchmaking!"
"Jin," Tackey sighed. He sort of kicked at Jin a bit, and his knee almost caught Jin in the face.
All Jin could see were wings. Wings and white diapers and bows with arrows that had hearts on the end. He could see nothing but his masculinity being sucked out of him all at once. He couldn't do it. He couldn't be a cupid. He would rather be saving pet hermit crabs than work in Matchmaking. Hell, he'd take Fax Duty instead.
"Please," Jin moaned.
"Don't give me that shit," Tackey said. "The papers are already signed. You report to floor 8 tomorrow morning."
--
"Chin up, Jin," Pi told him. He was sort of not paying attention though, which was irritating, but someone had tipped him off that there might be some donuts left in one of the break room cupboards, and apparently rooting through free food stashes was more important than Jin's incredibly horrible and degrading crisis. "Matchmaking isn't that bad."
"Oh my god, you fucking liar," Jin exclaimed into the tabletop. It came out a bit muffled since his face was pressed against the surface. His nose was sort of smushed, but whatever. The pain was better than the anguish of knowing he was about to become another agency joke. "You are the worst best friend ever."
Footsteps sounded outside the break room and then there was a smack of palm against the back of Jin's head.
"Retracted," Jin whimpered, reaching up to gingerly touch his stinging scalp. "Ryo, you're the worst best friend ever."
"Seems like kind of an oxymoron," Ryo said, and pulled out one of the empty chairs to sit down. "Heard you got transferred to the love department."
"Die in a fire," Jin told him.
Pi made a pleased sounding noise in the back of his throat, which probably just meant that he'd found an extra Long John, and not that he'd thought of any brilliant and awesome way to get Jin out of his bleak-looking future employment.
"How hard can that work be, anyway?" Ryo scoffed. "So, what, you go in, play some sexy music on a harp or some shit, and then get them both really drunk so they have sex. Game, set, match- voila! You're done."
Pi sat down at the table, licking donut icing off his fingers. "You know that isn't how it works."
"What are you talking about?" Ryo said. "That's how my life works."
"And that's why Vanessa over in Elderly Miracles won't answer your calls anymore," Pi pointed out.
"Whatever," Ryo said.
"This is all great and all," Jin said, lifting his head up from the tabletop, "except that, you know, it isn't, and NONE OF THIS IS HELPING ME."
From across the table, Pi gave him a vaguely sympathetic look. "Jin, I hate to tell you this, but I don't think you're going to be able to get out of your transfer. Tackey is hard to break, and you broke him. With sucking. A lot."
"Yeah, you dug your own grave here," Ryo laughed. Then he stopped, and looked contemplative. "You know, I mean figuratively."
Jin slumped back down over the table, groaning. He was already feeling very depressed. Maybe those free counseling sessions the agency offered would finally come in handy.
There was a hand patting his arm. "Cheer up!" Pi said. "It can't be that bad. Besides, you get to help people fall in love every day. Isn't that an awesome job description?"
"Maybe for you," Ryo snorted. "Fairy."
"I'm going to go home and rethink my afterlife," Jin sighed. He pushed himself up from the table.
"Hey, wait," Ryo said, as Jin was leaving the room. "I heard something about a bobcat, don't hold out on me."
Jin waved lazily over his shoulder. "Bye, guys. See you 'round, after I've lost all my dignity."
He was pretty sure Ryo threw the remains of Pi's donut at him, but Ryo's aim was pretty horrible, and it just hit the door instead.
--
Matchmaking was, of course, not the department's official title. The sign as Jin stepped off the elevator read Bureau of Soul-matched Romantic Fates, and he thought that was really just a crock of shit, since he didn't believe in soul-mates (but that wasn't the sort of thing one admitted when one was, you know, an angel). Matchmaking was just what everybody called it, usually with some level of disdain. At least in Jin's circle of friends, anyway.
Jin strolled past the secretary and collapsed into one of the chairs in the lobby, strewn with hearts and streamers and nauseating crap that Jin thought was pretty unnecessary, all things considered. He had just gotten himself into a somewhat comfortable position and was about to fall asleep on his hand when a nasally voice jerked him out of his doze.
"Are you Akanishi Jin?" the figure, a suit-clad young guy with thin eyebrows asked. He was holding something that looked like Jin's official transfer notice.
"Oh," Jin said, and stood up, dusting his hands off on his jeans. "Yeah, that's me."
The guy gave him a once-over, and then frowned. "You're thirty minutes late," was all he said, before turning and disappearing into the corner office. Apparently, he expected Jin to follow him inside.
Which Jin did, but not before deciding that he already hated this guy, whoever he was.
The inside of Suit's office looked like the most boring place Jin had ever stepped into. There was nothing decorating the walls to make it personal. Fortunately, there also weren't any annoyingly cheery pink and red hearts hanging from the ceiling, like there were out in the lobby, and Jin figured he should be thankful for small favors.
"So," Jin said, hoisting his feet up on the chair opposite the one he sat down in. "What am I doing first? Some cute schoolgirl and her crush? An old couple who have been separated through years and are reuniting on a beach to some magical background music?"
The other man gave Jin a look that spoke volumes about how unfunny he thought Jin was. "What you will be starting with," he said, slowly, as if he was talking to a small child, "will be merely observing another angel to see how the process works."
"What," Jin said, straightening in irritation. "Wait, I'm not even getting my own cases? Aw, come on! I'm not a new recruit here!"
"No, but you seem to be incapable of finishing any assignments without some kind of untimely accident," the other man shot back. "So you will be observing."
Jin made an appropriate bitch face and sat back. "Who's the lucky cupid?"
That seemed to be the last straw.
"First of all, we are not cupids," Suit said, drawing himself up behind his desk. As much as Jin was loathe to admit, he actually cut a pretty impressive figure, and it was only half because of the shoulder pads Jin was guessing he'd gotten sewn into the jacket. "What we do is important and highly personalized. Our work requires gentle hands and subtle prodding, and without the right amount of study and care, the whole thing will come crashing down around us. You will show us the respect we deserve, and refrain from calling us names."
Jin blinked at him, and the other man didn't seem to be stopping any time soon.
"Secondly," he continued, standing up and pointing down at Jin with all the ire that he could manage, which seemed to be an awful lot, "since having you lumbering around and messing up cases doesn't exactly seem to make someone 'lucky', I think you are the lucky one to even still be here at all, and it's only because I owed Tackey a personal favor that I allowed your transfer request to even go through, you lazy, talentless hack of a guardian."
"Hey!" Jin protested. "Fuck off, I'm not talentless!"
Suit glared at him, and then abruptly sat back down, going through papers like the documents themselves had offended him. "And you will be following with me."
"You know, you really have some attitude, Mr...." Jin trailed off, glancing down to the nameplate he'd not really taken any notice of before then. "Kamenashi."
"You'll do well to notice that here at BSRF, we work overtime, and we start the day promptly at 8 AM," Kamenashi told him. "I expect you to be on time from now on."
Jin stared at him. It was worse than Nagase down in the copy room feeling around Jin's ass and trying to get to his junk. It was five hundred times worse than that, because Kamenashi was one of those 'live by the job' types, if, you know, any of them were actually still alive anymore. And worst of all, he seemed to want to play by every single rule and adhere to every last damn byline.
Jin hated rules. And he really hated bylines, but mostly because he never read the fine print and they always came back to bite him in the ass.
"You-" Jin managed to sputter out, and that was it. Kamenashi was looking at him with an expression that said this conversation is over all over it.
"You can see Janice at the front desk for some notes on the past assignments you should read up on," Kamenashi told him, raising one of his stupidly manicured eyebrows. "And after lunch, you'll sit in the conference room to watch some instructional videos. Tomorrow morning, I expect you here at 8 AM sharp to come with me on my assignments."
Jin kind of sorta might have purposefully knocked one of Kamenashi's framed inspirational photographs off the wall on his way out. The noise it made when it hit the floor was really, really satisfying.
--
"Pi," Jin whined into the phone. "It's horrible. My boss is an asshole. And he's all blah blah regulations and blah blah we make soul mates happen, like it's some fucking miracle that anyone ever gets together and bones or something."
"Well, Jin," Pi's voice said from the receiver, and he sounded distracted. Jin was pretty sure he was still at work- sometimes he had long days, if the crop harvests failed, "maybe this is a chance to prove that you do have skills in something."
Jin sifted through channels picked up from down below, which never seemed to come through very well and always ended up sort of grainy with a three-second sound delay. It was disconcerting watching the mouths move and then having to wait for the appropriate dialogue to follow. "What are you talking about, I have a ton of skills."
"No, you don't," Pi told him. "But hey, maybe you can finally get through a week without killing some poor defenseless pet."
"You're supposed to be making me feel better!" Jin cried. He turned off the television in annoyance. Ryo's TV always got better reception, but the bastard was off schmoozing the redhead from Accounts Payable.
"Jin," Pi sighed, "I'm very busy right now. We've got an entire harvest failure in Peru and I really need to deal with getting some of these locusts taken care of, or else everybody's going to call it a plague and then we're really going to have shit on our hands. Can I call you back later?"
"Pi!" Jin shouted.
But Pi was already moving away from the receiver, and Jin could hear it in his voice. "Listen, don't kill any more bobcats, okay?"
"THAT WASN'T MY FAULT," Jin exclaimed, and hung up, even though he was pretty sure Pi had hung up first.
He waited about five minutes, and then texted Ryo.
When all he got back was see if Kamenashi can HOOK you up with some fashion skills while you're at it, Jin threw his phone onto the couch and resigned himself to his fate of going in the next morning and playing cupid.
No matter what shit Kamenashi said about the nickname being degrading.
--
Jin was actually five minutes early the next morning. He'd intended to be about fifteen minutes early, just to be a snot, but that particular plan had backfired when his alarm had failed to go off (it was possibly that he had turned it off in his sleep, but until proven, he was going with mechanical failure).
Kamenashi looked surprised that Jin was there on time when Jin finally strolled through the door, but very quickly got his face back into a mask of neutrality.
"Good," he said, standing up with a clipboard in his hands. "We can get started."
"What are we doing?" Jin asked. Kamenashi was moving quickly out the door like he had wings on the back of his damn, shiny shoes, and Jin just really needed some coffee. Some really, really strong coffee. He followed Kamenashi out into the lobby and noticed the secretary had a pot sitting on the edge of the cabinets next to her, smelling like heaven (had Jin not already, you know, been living there). He even managed to swipe a cup as they were waiting for the elevator, though Kamenashi glared at him while Jin was pouring it.
"You're here merely to observe," Kamenashi told him. He looked all severe like that, glaring down his nose at Jin. "This is a standard romantic fate procedure. We have our two subjects names, and I've done background research on them; now, usually, this is done by the receptionists and the interns, but I prefer to do my own research because then I know the subjects more, and can better create situations for them to interact."
Jin forgot about the cup of coffee in his hands. He just stared at the other man like Kamenashi had suddenly sprouted an extra head.
"What?" Kamenashi asked, looking confused.
"You," Jin said.
That didn't seem to help much. "Me, what?" Kamenashi leaned forward.
"You are the single biggest nerd I have ever met, and that's including Nakamaru over in Near-Heavenly Musical Gifts and Abilities," Jin told him.
Kamenashi didn't really react the way Jin thought he was going to. Instead of immediately bristling and getting all angry and pissed off, which Jin thought might actually be kind of amusing to see, he sort of slumped in on himself a bit. It was very quick, just for a second, and then he was all straight and business-like again, tugging on his suit jacket.
"Whatever," the other man sighed. "At least I'm going places."
"Yeah, well, so am I," Jin said, as they stepped into the elevator doors and Jin jammed his thumb against the button marked with a 'G'. "Down, down, down."
Kamenashi didn't say anything else as they made their way out the building. Jin didn't exactly have clearance to just pop in and out of the mortal world given his recent demotion, which was pretty humiliating, and Kamenashi had to reach over to grab his elbow in order to zap them both down to the street corner. It was early, but there was already a steady flow of activity on the sidewalks: business men walking with leather briefcases, students with overflowing backpacks making their way towards campus. Jin liked being with the mortals- it was exciting, and there was always something going on. Heaven got pretty boring, after awhile.
"Now, pay attention," Kamenashi said. "Yamada Tsubasa, he's one of our subjects. 29, salary man, works as an accountant at a large bank branch in downtown."
Jin leaned closer to get a peak at Kamenashi's papers, which had tons of notes and charts and graphs that looked very professional and like maybe Kamenashi spent a little too much time on Excel. "What is that?"
"In this department," Kamenashi said, with what sounded like thinning patience, "you have to figure out nuances. It's a very delicate matter, getting two people to fall in love. And once you know your subjects, you can attempt to create a situation where they can meet. So often it's just getting them to meet- that's one of the hardest part."
"Because there are so many people in the world," Jin nodded.
Kamenashi eyed him warily. "Yes," the other man agreed. "The odds aren't in their favor. That's where we come in."
"Cool," Jin said. His coffee was gone, so he flicked the cup into the nearest trash can. "Seems pretty easy. Where's this accountant dude?"
"There," Kamenashi said. He was pointing across the street to a nerdy-looking guy wearing glasses and carrying a briefcase that looked just like everybody else's. "Alright, he's on his way to the building from the train station. We need to follow him. If he behaves like I think he will, we may be able to get this assignment wrapped up within a couple of days."
Jin trailed behind Kamenashi's quick-moving figure. He was just happy to be down below again, mingling with the people still breathing. They were fun. They were all full of thoughts and passions and shit like that which made them all unique, and Jin liked that. He liked feeling like he was in a crowd and surrounded by people again, even though he knew that none of them could actually see him. Occasionally there was a doe-eyed girl or youngest son who would be able to visualize the angels' forms, but those were pretty easy to write off with some quick-thinking from the Department of Rationalizing Angelic Sightings (Matsumoto was pretty good with inventing wild stories on the spot).
Their subject- and Kamenashi- stopped outside a coffee shop a few blocks away from the bank headquarters. Kamenashi peered in through the windows almost like a kid in a candy store.
"Okay," he said, sounding pleased. "Good. He did what I thought."
"Stopped for a caffeine fix?" Jin asked. He failed to see how this was helpful at all. Also, the smell of coffee was making him want more. Seriously, it was way too early to be even thinking about matchmaking.
"She's going to be here, too," Kamenashi said. "She'll come up just as he's leaving. If he sees her today, he'll stop again tomorrow. Tomorrow, he'll see her inside the shop. And then the next day, we can get their orders mixed up, so they have to talk to each other. It's perfect."
Jin grabbed for the clipboard, scanning to find the woman's name. "Hitashi Asako," he read. Then he looked up at the female figure approaching them one the sidewalk, one hand clutching a large tote bag. "Is that her?"
Kamenashi turned. "Yes, that's her."
Tsubasa was coming out of the store with his java in hand. Jin looked at him, and then back at Asako, who hadn't even taken any notice of the rather plain looking fellow a few yards ahead of her.
"Why can't we just make them meet now?" Jin asked.
"Because things have to be done delicately," Kamenashi snapped, and grabbed for his clipboard back. "I've tracked their data with this graph here, and they will probably see each other without our help but they definitely won't interact. He thinks she's pretty, but he's too shy to say anything. We've got to just be patient for a few more days, and then get them here at the same time."
"But they're here now," Jin said. "Like, look, they are right here."
Kamenashi started to move away, making notes with some fancy-looking pen and clearly ignoring Jin completely. Tsubasa, for his part, had noticed Asako and paused. Jin knew that look. It was the look of a guy who had just seen a woman far too beautiful to ever talk to him, and he knew it. Jin actually felt bad for him, until he realized they were soul mates, and that meant some shit about getting together and taking long walks on the beach and sharing stupid, mushy looks for all eternity.
Gross.
He had a few seconds, if that. Jin looked at Tsubasa, and then at Asako, and then took one step forward quickly and pushed at the random guy going past on his bicycle. The guy swerved, Asako screamed, and Tsubasa lunged forward to save her from getting run over by the crazily zigzagging bike.
"Akanishi!" Kamenashi exclaimed. He even dropped the pen he'd been using to write, so Jin must have really surprised him. "What the fuck are you doing, what are you even thinking, you can't just-"
"Look," Jin cut him off, pointing towards the couple.
Tsubasa was holding Asako by the waist, and they were just looking at each other. Gazing, if Jin had to call it anything, and it was mushy and romantic and there should have been some sort of music swelling in the background.
Kamenashi started. He seemed momentarily stymied. "You..."
"Well, that saved us at least three days," Jin said. "Cool. Does this mean I get some free vacation time?"
--
What it earned him was Kamenashi forcibly dragging him back to the agency headquarters and practically throwing Jin into his office, which wasn't even his office and was more like a loaner office until Kamenashi got his official 'promotion', or whatever. Jin tripped over one of the chairs on the way in and hit his knee and Kamenashi didn't even seem to care.
"You cannot just go in there and mess things up like that!" Kamenashi yelled. He even threw the clipboard down on his desk, so Jin figured he had to be really mad. "You can't just do that! These things have to be done subtly, and you can't shove people in front of moving bicycles!"
"It worked!" Jin cried. "Who cares how it happened, they are together! Yay! Now we can all just move on!"
Apparently, Kamenashi cared how it happened.
"You," he said, getting all up in Jin's personal space and smelling like... well, like nice cologne, actually, which sort of just pissed Jin off more. "You will do things my way or I will see your ass fired."
And then Kamenashi made the fatal mistake. He had his finger held out in front of him like he was wagging it at Jin for stealing treats before dinner, and he moved his hand forward as if he was going to poke Jin's shoulder. Only he hit Jin's collarbone instead, and the horrible shivers worked themselves all the way down to Jin's toes, curling them inside his sneakers.
"Aasjflkja!" Jin shrieked, flapping and flailing wildly trying to get away.
He ended up crashing into a potted plant, and took the whole fern down with him. There were several pretty humiliating seconds in which he battled with it on the ground, and ended up spilling half the dirt all over Kamenashi's office carpet, and he was expecting Kamenashi to freak out on him for the mess. By the time he'd gotten his face out of the leaves, he figured the other man was going to have him thrown out the door.
Instead, he found Kamenashi laughing. Laughing so hard that he had tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What," the other man wheezed between laughs, "the hell?"
"Don't do that!" Jin said. His face was burning- he was half convinced that he was actually in hell, and this was his eternal punishment for being lazy. And not cleaning his apartment. And that one time when he'd broken Pi's favorite glass and claimed that Ryo did it.
Kamenashi was laughing so hard he was bent over his desk, messing up the stacks of paper and apparently not even caring.
Jin took one final look at him, shoulders heaving with mirth, and stomped out of the room with as much dignity as he could muster, which, to be quite honest, wasn't really much. Especially considering he had dirt inside his pants.
--
Jin showed up late the next day, half because he was still pretty mortified and wanted to never show his face in Matchmaking again at all, and half because he was thinking that if he gave Kamenashi a reason to get mad at him, maybe it would distract Kamenashi from Jin and the fern's unfortunate tango the day before.
He shouldn't have worried at all. He arrived on floor 8 to find that the entirety of the staff was running around like chickens with their heads cut off in a flurry of nervous activity. It took him awhile just to work his way around everyone to Kamenashi's office, which was open and seemed to be the center of all of the activity. There were a lot of people there, and a few of them were shaking Kamenashi's hand for something.
"The hell is going on here?" Jin mumbled, pressed up against the back wall.
"Kamenashi got a huge important assignment," the woman closest to him answered, and it scared Jin a little because he hadn't actually realized he'd been thinking out loud. "The Prime Minister! He's the youngest angel to ever get an assignment this big."
Jin stared across the office at the activity happening near Kamenashi's desk. His mentor certainly did look happy- his cheeks were flushed and he was grinning, and he kept bowing to people as they came in and out. "Hm," Jin said.
That was when Kamenashi caught sight of him, and rounded the desk to grab at Jin's jacket. He dragged Jin towards the center of the room as Jin sputtered and flailed and tried to get away from the obviously insane person.
"Good, you're here!" Kamenashi said, with no comment on how extremely late Jin was. "I'm sure you've heard the news, but since you're shadowing me, you'll be part of this assignment, too."
"Wait," Jin tried. Everyone was looking at him, and he hadn't even run a brush through his hair that morning.
Kamenashi's hand tightened around his bicep. "And I'm sure you don't do anything stupid to mess this up," the other man hissed under his breath. As if to prove his point, his fingers squeezed even further, and Jin squeaked.
"Great," Jin sighed.
--
And that was how Jin found himself standing in the middle of the 3rd floor of the Kantei, next to Kamenashi and about fifty pages of notes the man had obviously printed up that morning. Jin wondered if Matchmaking had printing quotas.
"Obviously, you know Mr. Higashiyama," Kamenashi said, as he sorted through some pages with colorful looking graphs on them.
"Um," Jin replied.
Kamenashi stared at him incredulously, and Jin didn't much like the way the other man was obviously judging him. It wasn't like Jin had been real up to date on current events in Japan when he'd been trying to angelically mojo kittens out of trees or anything.
"Kame, don't give me that look," Jin sighed. "Just tell me what it is I need to know."
"What did you call me?" Kamenashi asked. His eyebrows unfurrowed and shot straight up to his hairline.
"I'm sorry, but your name is really long," Jin said. "Like I'm going to say all those syllables every time."
Kame didn't object any more to his new nickname, but it was pretty obvious that Jin had caught him off-guard. There was a long second of silence, and then Kame shook his head and sort of just opened his mouth wordlessly before tugging free one of the pages in his stupid clipboard.
"Here," he said. "Just read this over while I get a handle on the lay of the office."
Okay, so Jin didn't really want to read some Wikipedia article's worth of background information on the guy. As long as he knew the basics, which were his job and his name, both of which Jin now had, he figured he was alright, and Kame would take care of the rest. Kame disappeared around the corner and Jin headed off in the opposite direction.
The Kantei was full of people. Most of them looked busy and important, and they were all wearing suits more expensive than anything Jin had ever owned while alive (not much had changed in his afterlife, he was loathe to admit). Higashiyama's secretary was a dull-looking woman who looked to be near 50, and Jin didn't think she was the man's love match. However, she did have some candy sitting on a jar at the edge of her desk, and Jin swiped a few to munch on while he continued moving around.
Most of the people working there were male. None of them looked exciting, save for one guy who was having a very animated phone conversation with what seemed to be an ambassador from France. Jin kept moving down the hallway until he got to the last row of cubicles; obviously, the people who were the least important and didn't merit having a corner office.
He was about to turn around and head back towards where Kame had zapped them to begin with, only something stopped him. Something was drifting over the air towards his ears, and damn if Jin didn't know how to pick up the bass line of a Lil' Wayne song from twenty yards away. He snuck closer to the cubicles and wove in and out of them- it was always a bit weird to be walking right next to, and sometimes directly through, people who could neither see nor hear him.
He found what he was looking for at the last cubicle in the row, decorated with some posters of American R&B artists and artsy looking modern art prints of guitars and drum sets.
"This is definitely my kind of cubicle," Jin commented to himself. The girl sitting inside- who was pretty and young and when she pushed hair back behind her ear, was sporting an industrial piercing- hummed along with the music as she was typing into her laptop.
Jin perched himself up on top of her cabinets and sang along with the song until it ended, and then figured he'd wasted enough time and Kame was probably looking for him. He was right; by the time he got back past Higashiyama's secretary's desk, Kame was glaring at him and tapping one toe against the carpet.
"What?" Jin asked. "Oh, come on, I got bored."
"Did you at least read the information I gave you?" Kame asked.
Jin thought it was probably best NOT to lie. "Yeah, no," he admitted. "But, I did walk around a bit, and found that almost everyone here is really, really boring."
"Akanishi," Kame sighed.
"Hey!" Jin cried. "You know, this might work in our favor, because this guy..." He trailed off and finally glanced down at the print-off Kame had handed him. "... 'is one of the youngest Prime Ministers to ever be elected after rising quickly through the ranks of the government officials and serving a term as a cabinet official to the last'- okay, see? Totally boring. Perfect."
Kame snatched the information sheet back, huffy. "Higashiyama is not boring. He's brilliant, and he works hard, and he's going to do great things for his country. Just because he enjoys things like calligraphy and tai chi does not mean-"
"Oh my god, shut up," Jin moaned. "He so does not. Tell me you are lying."
Kame didn't have time to say anything. Higashiyama came out of his office with a flurry of office workers and interns and various other officials following him, all talking at the same time. Kame was immediately preoccupied with trying to follow them, like it mattered if they did or not. Jin was pretty sure they could just pop themselves in and out of wherever they needed to be.
"Okay," Kame told him, dragging Jin along behind Higashiyama's posse. "We are going to spend today watching him and taking notes of his individual personality quirks."
"What? Why?" Jin asked.
"Because this is a huge and very important assignment," Kame said, in a way that implied Jin was not supposed to argue (but then again, when did Jin ever listen to things like that?). "We are going to carefully observe him and then we can tailor our decisions based on his reactions."
It was the single most boring day of Jin's afterlife, and he'd had some real snoozers. They followed Higashiyama to a cabinet meeting where all they did was discuss place settings for the next dinner with the ambassadors. They followed Higashiyama to a meeting with his secretary, where they reassigned some of the office duties. They followed Higashiyama to the Diet building for yet another meeting that Jin wasn't even sure what was for, because he fell asleep five minutes in and only woke up when Kame poked him none too gently in the shoulder as Higashiyama was leaving again.
"You don't even need me here," Jin grumbled, as they followed the Prime Minister back out across the street towards the Kantei.
"This is your job," Kame snapped. "You officially work for me."
"What is the point to all of this, anyway?" Jin asked. "All we've done is follow him from meeting to meeting, and all he's talked about is boring, political stuff. None of this is going to help us!"
Kame pulled out two full sheets of paper with hand-written notes on them, including little bits at the sides with arrows and circles. He'd stopped short of highlighting the important words, but Jin wouldn't put it past him to go home that night and get out his 5-color highlighter set to do just that.
"You are insane," Jin said.
"And you're just worthless," Kame replied.
Jin stopped, right in the middle of the lobby. Higashiyama was headed back to his office, and Jin didn't care to go with him. "I am not worthless," Jin said. "Geezus, you know, I have a lot of talents."
"Like what?" Kame asked.
"Like..." Jin was too mad to come up with anything. "I play a fucking awesome air guitar, okay? And I'm a pretty good singer, too."
Kame was just standing there looking all high and mighty and Mr. Made for the Job, and the whole thing just pissed Jin off even more. "Akanishi, this is a job. You are an angel. And if you don't start helping with this, you may not even be that anymore. Now, I agreed to let you come to shadow me because Tackey asked me to, and I respect him. But I'm not going to deal with somebody who hardly bothers to try at all, especially on an assignment this big and this important."
"This is not helping anyone!" Jin cried, spreading his arms out to either side. "We don't even know who the match is, and even if we did, I wouldn't-"
"Her," Kame said suddenly, cutting Jin off mid-rant. He was pointing at someone behind Jin. Jin lowered his arms and turned around and saw the girl from earlier, with the industrial piercing and the R&B iPod playlist. She was dropping off an armful of documents with Higashiyama's secretary, that looked like inconsequential memos and copies flagged with colored post-its.
Jin turned back to Kame. "Are you kidding me?"
"No," Kame said. "Her name is Namura Aya."
"Her," Jin clarified.
Kame looked annoyed. "Yes, her."
"Kame, you're insane," Jin said. "She listens to American hip hop and collects cheap prints from something like posters.com having to do with rock and roll. I guarantee you that she goes home to an apartment that is barely clean, with her five dogs, and lounges around watching bad movies and drinking cheap beer until way too late in the morning."
Kame's eyebrows did that furrowing thing again. He started going through his papers, checking facts and graphs and whatever else he'd printed out that morning.
"Are you sure?" he asked. "Because I know that's her, and I mean, I thought she'd be a little older to be a good match, but age isn't always a good indication of how well people will-"
"Kame," Jin said.
He didn't need to say anything else. Kame reached forward and grabbed Jin's arm again and zapped them both outside. Aya was heading home, colorful purse dangling on one shoulder. Walking behind her, Jin could see that her demure black business skirt hid her colorful and way too high to be politically appropriate pumps. She had ear buds in her ears as she made her way down to the station, and played cell phone games and checked her mixi profile once she got on the train.
Jin could see Kame's anguish level slowly rising as they followed her back to her apartment which was, unsurprisingly, just as Jin had figured it would be. There was laundry all over the floor and posters of idols pinned to the walls, in-between the prints of American artists like Justin Timberlake and Usher. She didn't have any dogs but she did have two cats, both of which came up to greet her after she kicked her shoes off in the entryway.
"Well, I did tell you," Jin said, as Kame slumped against the wall looking completely depressed.
"This is impossible," he moaned. "This can't be done. There's no way."
Jin shrugged and watched Aya make herself some instant ramen. "Well, you know what they say. Opposites attract."
"She was supposed to be a smart, savvy business woman," Kame continued. "Or a secretary with a heart of gold and a passion for knitting. They were supposed to have common interests! She's just some university intern who doesn't care about the political system and dreams about being in some kind of rock band!"
He looked pretty upset. Jin thought it was great, but only because Aya seemed like someone he'd actually want to hang out with.
"There's obviously some reason they gave you this match," he started, and that seemed to be the worst thing he ever could have said, ever.
"This is a joke," Kame hissed, surging upright once more. "They gave me this as a cruel joke. Just to watch me flounder with this, because it can't possibly be done."
"That's not actually what I-" Jin started.
Kame was bristling and moving towards the door, all bent out of shape. In fact, Jin didn't even know why he was bothering with the door at all, considering they just needed to zap back into the agency upstairs. Apparently, he was really rattled.
"And you," the other man continued, out in the hallway, giving Jin no choice but to follow if he wanted a way back home, given his current lack of transportation clearance. "You are just part of this whole joke. Designed to make me go crazy."
"When did this all become my fault?" Jin asked.
Kame just mumbled something under his breath and reached out to grab Jin's shoulder. A split second later, and they were back on floor 8 of the agency, and Kame was already moving away towards his office.
"Kame!" Jin cried. The other man ignored him.
Fed up, Jin decided his work day was done, and he was going to go home.
--
Part 2
By: katmillia
Pairing: Jin/Kame
Word count: ~12,000
Rating: PG
Warnings: Language, large privileges taken with the whole "afterlife" concept
Notes: Much, much thanks to my beta, for looking over this at the last minute, and for everyone on my tlist who assured me that this was, in fact, not crap. Much obliged. ♥
Summary: It was a weird twist of something (Jin refused to call it fate, because he didn't work in the Department of Destined Life Events, and was pretty sure they didn't deal with other angels anyway) that landed Jin in Matchmaking, and one he wasn't too happy about.
The smoke billowed up to the sky, dark against the bright, brilliant blue, and then there was a loud crash as the ceiling gave out again, sending splintered beams and smoldering wood down to the ground. The force of the whole thing sent embers shooting out in every direction, and the foundation started to creak and moan and sag in on itself, and then there was a long, creaking moan from the sides.
When the walls fell in on themselves, the crash was loud enough to make Jin cover his ears. He also squeezed his eyes shut, just in case the whole thing would disappear by the time he opened them again, but wishful thinking like that never actually happened. When he cracked his eyelids again, there was still smoke, and fire, and the shed probably only had moments left. Which was pretty much bad news for everyone involved, which was mostly just Jin.
And the cat.
After a long minute, there was the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat behind him. Jin winced, shoulders tensing.
He turned to see Tackey standing a few feet back, hands on his hips. He looked annoyed, but not surprised, and that was honestly the worst part of the whole thing. Jin was pretty sure that Tackey had probably expected something like that to happen, and the thought of his boss thinking so low of him made Jin's stomach churn.
"Listen," Jin said, holding his hands out in front of him. "I can totally explain."
"My office," Tackey said, all final-sounding and resolute and shit. "Now."
--
"No, I'm serious," Jin whined, slumping down in the chair. Tackey kept really uncomfortable chairs opposite his desk, and Jin was pretty sure he did it on purpose, just to make people even more tense during meetings. "I had a really great plan, and it all-"
"Jin," Tackey said. He was rubbing his fingers over his eyes like he was really, really tired or something. Jin couldn't see how Tackey could possibly be that tired, it's not like he just tried to save a family's beloved pet cat. "In the last six months, you have been responsible for the demise of three dogs, six cats-"
"That bobcat was not my fault!" Jin interjected, shoes screeching against the tiles.
Tackey just kept going like he hadn't heard him (he was probably ignoring Jin again). "-two mice, one talking parrot, and an exotic, rainbow salamander. This is easily the worst record I've ever seen, and I've been doing this for a really long time."
Jin bit back a retort about Tackey's age. It was probably a bad idea, considering the circumstances. Tackey picked up a file folder, brimming and overflowing with papers, like Jin was supposed to know what the crap meant or something. Obviously, Jin didn't.
"What is that?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"The grievances that have been filed against you," Tackey said, and slammed the folder back down on his desk.
Alright, to be fair, it did look kind of thick.
"Listen," Jin said. "This is seriously not my fault. I swear, something is working against me. I had absolutely no idea that dry grass would catch on fire like that, I really didn't."
Tackey gave him a long, hard look, and Jin shrank back down in the chair again. His boss sighed, sounding more dramatic than he really needed to, and then stood up, moving over to the set of filing cabinets against the far wall.
"You know how important our work here is, Jin," he said, rifling through some papers without really looking in Jin's direction, which was kind of rude. "As angels, the agency provides invaluable help to those living below, and it's our duty to see every assignment through to the best of our ability."
"Yeah, I know all this," Jin mumbled.
"You, however," Tackey continued, and opened one of the cabinets with a loud, rattling bang, "are not the best of our ability. I'm sorry, Jin, I really am, but I am going to have to transfer you out of the Animal Guardianship department. We just can't have you messing up any more of these assignments."
He didn't seem to be kidding. He looked serious. Jin started to panic, because he really, really didn't want to get demoted. Again. He'd already been demoted three times, and he wasn't sure how much lower he could actually get before he was resigned to Fax Duty in the agency copy room. And he so did not want to work with Nagase again. His ass could only handle so much groping.
"Tackey," he started, prepared to beg.
"I've got your transfer paperwork all ready," Tackey told him. He even held it up, like he didn't think Jin believed him or something. "Look, you just.... need to learn some finesse. And restraint. And I've got a place to put you where I think you can learn both. I've got somebody who is willing to show you the ropes and he's really motivated, and organized, and the higher-ups really think he's going to move through the ranks quickly-"
Jin sort of cut him off by lunging off the chair and grappling for Tackey's legs. So, in hindsight, not the brightest idea he'd ever had, but maybe if Tackey couldn't walk, he couldn't get the transfer papers signed. Jin had to hope.
"Please!" Jin cried, squeezing his arms tighter around Tackey's legs as he flailed a bit to get his legs back underneath him. "I'll do anything! Hamster Duty! Goldfish Duty, please! Please, please don't transfer me to Matchmaking!"
"Jin," Tackey sighed. He sort of kicked at Jin a bit, and his knee almost caught Jin in the face.
All Jin could see were wings. Wings and white diapers and bows with arrows that had hearts on the end. He could see nothing but his masculinity being sucked out of him all at once. He couldn't do it. He couldn't be a cupid. He would rather be saving pet hermit crabs than work in Matchmaking. Hell, he'd take Fax Duty instead.
"Please," Jin moaned.
"Don't give me that shit," Tackey said. "The papers are already signed. You report to floor 8 tomorrow morning."
--
"Chin up, Jin," Pi told him. He was sort of not paying attention though, which was irritating, but someone had tipped him off that there might be some donuts left in one of the break room cupboards, and apparently rooting through free food stashes was more important than Jin's incredibly horrible and degrading crisis. "Matchmaking isn't that bad."
"Oh my god, you fucking liar," Jin exclaimed into the tabletop. It came out a bit muffled since his face was pressed against the surface. His nose was sort of smushed, but whatever. The pain was better than the anguish of knowing he was about to become another agency joke. "You are the worst best friend ever."
Footsteps sounded outside the break room and then there was a smack of palm against the back of Jin's head.
"Retracted," Jin whimpered, reaching up to gingerly touch his stinging scalp. "Ryo, you're the worst best friend ever."
"Seems like kind of an oxymoron," Ryo said, and pulled out one of the empty chairs to sit down. "Heard you got transferred to the love department."
"Die in a fire," Jin told him.
Pi made a pleased sounding noise in the back of his throat, which probably just meant that he'd found an extra Long John, and not that he'd thought of any brilliant and awesome way to get Jin out of his bleak-looking future employment.
"How hard can that work be, anyway?" Ryo scoffed. "So, what, you go in, play some sexy music on a harp or some shit, and then get them both really drunk so they have sex. Game, set, match- voila! You're done."
Pi sat down at the table, licking donut icing off his fingers. "You know that isn't how it works."
"What are you talking about?" Ryo said. "That's how my life works."
"And that's why Vanessa over in Elderly Miracles won't answer your calls anymore," Pi pointed out.
"Whatever," Ryo said.
"This is all great and all," Jin said, lifting his head up from the tabletop, "except that, you know, it isn't, and NONE OF THIS IS HELPING ME."
From across the table, Pi gave him a vaguely sympathetic look. "Jin, I hate to tell you this, but I don't think you're going to be able to get out of your transfer. Tackey is hard to break, and you broke him. With sucking. A lot."
"Yeah, you dug your own grave here," Ryo laughed. Then he stopped, and looked contemplative. "You know, I mean figuratively."
Jin slumped back down over the table, groaning. He was already feeling very depressed. Maybe those free counseling sessions the agency offered would finally come in handy.
There was a hand patting his arm. "Cheer up!" Pi said. "It can't be that bad. Besides, you get to help people fall in love every day. Isn't that an awesome job description?"
"Maybe for you," Ryo snorted. "Fairy."
"I'm going to go home and rethink my afterlife," Jin sighed. He pushed himself up from the table.
"Hey, wait," Ryo said, as Jin was leaving the room. "I heard something about a bobcat, don't hold out on me."
Jin waved lazily over his shoulder. "Bye, guys. See you 'round, after I've lost all my dignity."
He was pretty sure Ryo threw the remains of Pi's donut at him, but Ryo's aim was pretty horrible, and it just hit the door instead.
--
Matchmaking was, of course, not the department's official title. The sign as Jin stepped off the elevator read Bureau of Soul-matched Romantic Fates, and he thought that was really just a crock of shit, since he didn't believe in soul-mates (but that wasn't the sort of thing one admitted when one was, you know, an angel). Matchmaking was just what everybody called it, usually with some level of disdain. At least in Jin's circle of friends, anyway.
Jin strolled past the secretary and collapsed into one of the chairs in the lobby, strewn with hearts and streamers and nauseating crap that Jin thought was pretty unnecessary, all things considered. He had just gotten himself into a somewhat comfortable position and was about to fall asleep on his hand when a nasally voice jerked him out of his doze.
"Are you Akanishi Jin?" the figure, a suit-clad young guy with thin eyebrows asked. He was holding something that looked like Jin's official transfer notice.
"Oh," Jin said, and stood up, dusting his hands off on his jeans. "Yeah, that's me."
The guy gave him a once-over, and then frowned. "You're thirty minutes late," was all he said, before turning and disappearing into the corner office. Apparently, he expected Jin to follow him inside.
Which Jin did, but not before deciding that he already hated this guy, whoever he was.
The inside of Suit's office looked like the most boring place Jin had ever stepped into. There was nothing decorating the walls to make it personal. Fortunately, there also weren't any annoyingly cheery pink and red hearts hanging from the ceiling, like there were out in the lobby, and Jin figured he should be thankful for small favors.
"So," Jin said, hoisting his feet up on the chair opposite the one he sat down in. "What am I doing first? Some cute schoolgirl and her crush? An old couple who have been separated through years and are reuniting on a beach to some magical background music?"
The other man gave Jin a look that spoke volumes about how unfunny he thought Jin was. "What you will be starting with," he said, slowly, as if he was talking to a small child, "will be merely observing another angel to see how the process works."
"What," Jin said, straightening in irritation. "Wait, I'm not even getting my own cases? Aw, come on! I'm not a new recruit here!"
"No, but you seem to be incapable of finishing any assignments without some kind of untimely accident," the other man shot back. "So you will be observing."
Jin made an appropriate bitch face and sat back. "Who's the lucky cupid?"
That seemed to be the last straw.
"First of all, we are not cupids," Suit said, drawing himself up behind his desk. As much as Jin was loathe to admit, he actually cut a pretty impressive figure, and it was only half because of the shoulder pads Jin was guessing he'd gotten sewn into the jacket. "What we do is important and highly personalized. Our work requires gentle hands and subtle prodding, and without the right amount of study and care, the whole thing will come crashing down around us. You will show us the respect we deserve, and refrain from calling us names."
Jin blinked at him, and the other man didn't seem to be stopping any time soon.
"Secondly," he continued, standing up and pointing down at Jin with all the ire that he could manage, which seemed to be an awful lot, "since having you lumbering around and messing up cases doesn't exactly seem to make someone 'lucky', I think you are the lucky one to even still be here at all, and it's only because I owed Tackey a personal favor that I allowed your transfer request to even go through, you lazy, talentless hack of a guardian."
"Hey!" Jin protested. "Fuck off, I'm not talentless!"
Suit glared at him, and then abruptly sat back down, going through papers like the documents themselves had offended him. "And you will be following with me."
"You know, you really have some attitude, Mr...." Jin trailed off, glancing down to the nameplate he'd not really taken any notice of before then. "Kamenashi."
"You'll do well to notice that here at BSRF, we work overtime, and we start the day promptly at 8 AM," Kamenashi told him. "I expect you to be on time from now on."
Jin stared at him. It was worse than Nagase down in the copy room feeling around Jin's ass and trying to get to his junk. It was five hundred times worse than that, because Kamenashi was one of those 'live by the job' types, if, you know, any of them were actually still alive anymore. And worst of all, he seemed to want to play by every single rule and adhere to every last damn byline.
Jin hated rules. And he really hated bylines, but mostly because he never read the fine print and they always came back to bite him in the ass.
"You-" Jin managed to sputter out, and that was it. Kamenashi was looking at him with an expression that said this conversation is over all over it.
"You can see Janice at the front desk for some notes on the past assignments you should read up on," Kamenashi told him, raising one of his stupidly manicured eyebrows. "And after lunch, you'll sit in the conference room to watch some instructional videos. Tomorrow morning, I expect you here at 8 AM sharp to come with me on my assignments."
Jin kind of sorta might have purposefully knocked one of Kamenashi's framed inspirational photographs off the wall on his way out. The noise it made when it hit the floor was really, really satisfying.
--
"Pi," Jin whined into the phone. "It's horrible. My boss is an asshole. And he's all blah blah regulations and blah blah we make soul mates happen, like it's some fucking miracle that anyone ever gets together and bones or something."
"Well, Jin," Pi's voice said from the receiver, and he sounded distracted. Jin was pretty sure he was still at work- sometimes he had long days, if the crop harvests failed, "maybe this is a chance to prove that you do have skills in something."
Jin sifted through channels picked up from down below, which never seemed to come through very well and always ended up sort of grainy with a three-second sound delay. It was disconcerting watching the mouths move and then having to wait for the appropriate dialogue to follow. "What are you talking about, I have a ton of skills."
"No, you don't," Pi told him. "But hey, maybe you can finally get through a week without killing some poor defenseless pet."
"You're supposed to be making me feel better!" Jin cried. He turned off the television in annoyance. Ryo's TV always got better reception, but the bastard was off schmoozing the redhead from Accounts Payable.
"Jin," Pi sighed, "I'm very busy right now. We've got an entire harvest failure in Peru and I really need to deal with getting some of these locusts taken care of, or else everybody's going to call it a plague and then we're really going to have shit on our hands. Can I call you back later?"
"Pi!" Jin shouted.
But Pi was already moving away from the receiver, and Jin could hear it in his voice. "Listen, don't kill any more bobcats, okay?"
"THAT WASN'T MY FAULT," Jin exclaimed, and hung up, even though he was pretty sure Pi had hung up first.
He waited about five minutes, and then texted Ryo.
When all he got back was see if Kamenashi can HOOK you up with some fashion skills while you're at it, Jin threw his phone onto the couch and resigned himself to his fate of going in the next morning and playing cupid.
No matter what shit Kamenashi said about the nickname being degrading.
--
Jin was actually five minutes early the next morning. He'd intended to be about fifteen minutes early, just to be a snot, but that particular plan had backfired when his alarm had failed to go off (it was possibly that he had turned it off in his sleep, but until proven, he was going with mechanical failure).
Kamenashi looked surprised that Jin was there on time when Jin finally strolled through the door, but very quickly got his face back into a mask of neutrality.
"Good," he said, standing up with a clipboard in his hands. "We can get started."
"What are we doing?" Jin asked. Kamenashi was moving quickly out the door like he had wings on the back of his damn, shiny shoes, and Jin just really needed some coffee. Some really, really strong coffee. He followed Kamenashi out into the lobby and noticed the secretary had a pot sitting on the edge of the cabinets next to her, smelling like heaven (had Jin not already, you know, been living there). He even managed to swipe a cup as they were waiting for the elevator, though Kamenashi glared at him while Jin was pouring it.
"You're here merely to observe," Kamenashi told him. He looked all severe like that, glaring down his nose at Jin. "This is a standard romantic fate procedure. We have our two subjects names, and I've done background research on them; now, usually, this is done by the receptionists and the interns, but I prefer to do my own research because then I know the subjects more, and can better create situations for them to interact."
Jin forgot about the cup of coffee in his hands. He just stared at the other man like Kamenashi had suddenly sprouted an extra head.
"What?" Kamenashi asked, looking confused.
"You," Jin said.
That didn't seem to help much. "Me, what?" Kamenashi leaned forward.
"You are the single biggest nerd I have ever met, and that's including Nakamaru over in Near-Heavenly Musical Gifts and Abilities," Jin told him.
Kamenashi didn't really react the way Jin thought he was going to. Instead of immediately bristling and getting all angry and pissed off, which Jin thought might actually be kind of amusing to see, he sort of slumped in on himself a bit. It was very quick, just for a second, and then he was all straight and business-like again, tugging on his suit jacket.
"Whatever," the other man sighed. "At least I'm going places."
"Yeah, well, so am I," Jin said, as they stepped into the elevator doors and Jin jammed his thumb against the button marked with a 'G'. "Down, down, down."
Kamenashi didn't say anything else as they made their way out the building. Jin didn't exactly have clearance to just pop in and out of the mortal world given his recent demotion, which was pretty humiliating, and Kamenashi had to reach over to grab his elbow in order to zap them both down to the street corner. It was early, but there was already a steady flow of activity on the sidewalks: business men walking with leather briefcases, students with overflowing backpacks making their way towards campus. Jin liked being with the mortals- it was exciting, and there was always something going on. Heaven got pretty boring, after awhile.
"Now, pay attention," Kamenashi said. "Yamada Tsubasa, he's one of our subjects. 29, salary man, works as an accountant at a large bank branch in downtown."
Jin leaned closer to get a peak at Kamenashi's papers, which had tons of notes and charts and graphs that looked very professional and like maybe Kamenashi spent a little too much time on Excel. "What is that?"
"In this department," Kamenashi said, with what sounded like thinning patience, "you have to figure out nuances. It's a very delicate matter, getting two people to fall in love. And once you know your subjects, you can attempt to create a situation where they can meet. So often it's just getting them to meet- that's one of the hardest part."
"Because there are so many people in the world," Jin nodded.
Kamenashi eyed him warily. "Yes," the other man agreed. "The odds aren't in their favor. That's where we come in."
"Cool," Jin said. His coffee was gone, so he flicked the cup into the nearest trash can. "Seems pretty easy. Where's this accountant dude?"
"There," Kamenashi said. He was pointing across the street to a nerdy-looking guy wearing glasses and carrying a briefcase that looked just like everybody else's. "Alright, he's on his way to the building from the train station. We need to follow him. If he behaves like I think he will, we may be able to get this assignment wrapped up within a couple of days."
Jin trailed behind Kamenashi's quick-moving figure. He was just happy to be down below again, mingling with the people still breathing. They were fun. They were all full of thoughts and passions and shit like that which made them all unique, and Jin liked that. He liked feeling like he was in a crowd and surrounded by people again, even though he knew that none of them could actually see him. Occasionally there was a doe-eyed girl or youngest son who would be able to visualize the angels' forms, but those were pretty easy to write off with some quick-thinking from the Department of Rationalizing Angelic Sightings (Matsumoto was pretty good with inventing wild stories on the spot).
Their subject- and Kamenashi- stopped outside a coffee shop a few blocks away from the bank headquarters. Kamenashi peered in through the windows almost like a kid in a candy store.
"Okay," he said, sounding pleased. "Good. He did what I thought."
"Stopped for a caffeine fix?" Jin asked. He failed to see how this was helpful at all. Also, the smell of coffee was making him want more. Seriously, it was way too early to be even thinking about matchmaking.
"She's going to be here, too," Kamenashi said. "She'll come up just as he's leaving. If he sees her today, he'll stop again tomorrow. Tomorrow, he'll see her inside the shop. And then the next day, we can get their orders mixed up, so they have to talk to each other. It's perfect."
Jin grabbed for the clipboard, scanning to find the woman's name. "Hitashi Asako," he read. Then he looked up at the female figure approaching them one the sidewalk, one hand clutching a large tote bag. "Is that her?"
Kamenashi turned. "Yes, that's her."
Tsubasa was coming out of the store with his java in hand. Jin looked at him, and then back at Asako, who hadn't even taken any notice of the rather plain looking fellow a few yards ahead of her.
"Why can't we just make them meet now?" Jin asked.
"Because things have to be done delicately," Kamenashi snapped, and grabbed for his clipboard back. "I've tracked their data with this graph here, and they will probably see each other without our help but they definitely won't interact. He thinks she's pretty, but he's too shy to say anything. We've got to just be patient for a few more days, and then get them here at the same time."
"But they're here now," Jin said. "Like, look, they are right here."
Kamenashi started to move away, making notes with some fancy-looking pen and clearly ignoring Jin completely. Tsubasa, for his part, had noticed Asako and paused. Jin knew that look. It was the look of a guy who had just seen a woman far too beautiful to ever talk to him, and he knew it. Jin actually felt bad for him, until he realized they were soul mates, and that meant some shit about getting together and taking long walks on the beach and sharing stupid, mushy looks for all eternity.
Gross.
He had a few seconds, if that. Jin looked at Tsubasa, and then at Asako, and then took one step forward quickly and pushed at the random guy going past on his bicycle. The guy swerved, Asako screamed, and Tsubasa lunged forward to save her from getting run over by the crazily zigzagging bike.
"Akanishi!" Kamenashi exclaimed. He even dropped the pen he'd been using to write, so Jin must have really surprised him. "What the fuck are you doing, what are you even thinking, you can't just-"
"Look," Jin cut him off, pointing towards the couple.
Tsubasa was holding Asako by the waist, and they were just looking at each other. Gazing, if Jin had to call it anything, and it was mushy and romantic and there should have been some sort of music swelling in the background.
Kamenashi started. He seemed momentarily stymied. "You..."
"Well, that saved us at least three days," Jin said. "Cool. Does this mean I get some free vacation time?"
--
What it earned him was Kamenashi forcibly dragging him back to the agency headquarters and practically throwing Jin into his office, which wasn't even his office and was more like a loaner office until Kamenashi got his official 'promotion', or whatever. Jin tripped over one of the chairs on the way in and hit his knee and Kamenashi didn't even seem to care.
"You cannot just go in there and mess things up like that!" Kamenashi yelled. He even threw the clipboard down on his desk, so Jin figured he had to be really mad. "You can't just do that! These things have to be done subtly, and you can't shove people in front of moving bicycles!"
"It worked!" Jin cried. "Who cares how it happened, they are together! Yay! Now we can all just move on!"
Apparently, Kamenashi cared how it happened.
"You," he said, getting all up in Jin's personal space and smelling like... well, like nice cologne, actually, which sort of just pissed Jin off more. "You will do things my way or I will see your ass fired."
And then Kamenashi made the fatal mistake. He had his finger held out in front of him like he was wagging it at Jin for stealing treats before dinner, and he moved his hand forward as if he was going to poke Jin's shoulder. Only he hit Jin's collarbone instead, and the horrible shivers worked themselves all the way down to Jin's toes, curling them inside his sneakers.
"Aasjflkja!" Jin shrieked, flapping and flailing wildly trying to get away.
He ended up crashing into a potted plant, and took the whole fern down with him. There were several pretty humiliating seconds in which he battled with it on the ground, and ended up spilling half the dirt all over Kamenashi's office carpet, and he was expecting Kamenashi to freak out on him for the mess. By the time he'd gotten his face out of the leaves, he figured the other man was going to have him thrown out the door.
Instead, he found Kamenashi laughing. Laughing so hard that he had tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What," the other man wheezed between laughs, "the hell?"
"Don't do that!" Jin said. His face was burning- he was half convinced that he was actually in hell, and this was his eternal punishment for being lazy. And not cleaning his apartment. And that one time when he'd broken Pi's favorite glass and claimed that Ryo did it.
Kamenashi was laughing so hard he was bent over his desk, messing up the stacks of paper and apparently not even caring.
Jin took one final look at him, shoulders heaving with mirth, and stomped out of the room with as much dignity as he could muster, which, to be quite honest, wasn't really much. Especially considering he had dirt inside his pants.
--
Jin showed up late the next day, half because he was still pretty mortified and wanted to never show his face in Matchmaking again at all, and half because he was thinking that if he gave Kamenashi a reason to get mad at him, maybe it would distract Kamenashi from Jin and the fern's unfortunate tango the day before.
He shouldn't have worried at all. He arrived on floor 8 to find that the entirety of the staff was running around like chickens with their heads cut off in a flurry of nervous activity. It took him awhile just to work his way around everyone to Kamenashi's office, which was open and seemed to be the center of all of the activity. There were a lot of people there, and a few of them were shaking Kamenashi's hand for something.
"The hell is going on here?" Jin mumbled, pressed up against the back wall.
"Kamenashi got a huge important assignment," the woman closest to him answered, and it scared Jin a little because he hadn't actually realized he'd been thinking out loud. "The Prime Minister! He's the youngest angel to ever get an assignment this big."
Jin stared across the office at the activity happening near Kamenashi's desk. His mentor certainly did look happy- his cheeks were flushed and he was grinning, and he kept bowing to people as they came in and out. "Hm," Jin said.
That was when Kamenashi caught sight of him, and rounded the desk to grab at Jin's jacket. He dragged Jin towards the center of the room as Jin sputtered and flailed and tried to get away from the obviously insane person.
"Good, you're here!" Kamenashi said, with no comment on how extremely late Jin was. "I'm sure you've heard the news, but since you're shadowing me, you'll be part of this assignment, too."
"Wait," Jin tried. Everyone was looking at him, and he hadn't even run a brush through his hair that morning.
Kamenashi's hand tightened around his bicep. "And I'm sure you don't do anything stupid to mess this up," the other man hissed under his breath. As if to prove his point, his fingers squeezed even further, and Jin squeaked.
"Great," Jin sighed.
--
And that was how Jin found himself standing in the middle of the 3rd floor of the Kantei, next to Kamenashi and about fifty pages of notes the man had obviously printed up that morning. Jin wondered if Matchmaking had printing quotas.
"Obviously, you know Mr. Higashiyama," Kamenashi said, as he sorted through some pages with colorful looking graphs on them.
"Um," Jin replied.
Kamenashi stared at him incredulously, and Jin didn't much like the way the other man was obviously judging him. It wasn't like Jin had been real up to date on current events in Japan when he'd been trying to angelically mojo kittens out of trees or anything.
"Kame, don't give me that look," Jin sighed. "Just tell me what it is I need to know."
"What did you call me?" Kamenashi asked. His eyebrows unfurrowed and shot straight up to his hairline.
"I'm sorry, but your name is really long," Jin said. "Like I'm going to say all those syllables every time."
Kame didn't object any more to his new nickname, but it was pretty obvious that Jin had caught him off-guard. There was a long second of silence, and then Kame shook his head and sort of just opened his mouth wordlessly before tugging free one of the pages in his stupid clipboard.
"Here," he said. "Just read this over while I get a handle on the lay of the office."
Okay, so Jin didn't really want to read some Wikipedia article's worth of background information on the guy. As long as he knew the basics, which were his job and his name, both of which Jin now had, he figured he was alright, and Kame would take care of the rest. Kame disappeared around the corner and Jin headed off in the opposite direction.
The Kantei was full of people. Most of them looked busy and important, and they were all wearing suits more expensive than anything Jin had ever owned while alive (not much had changed in his afterlife, he was loathe to admit). Higashiyama's secretary was a dull-looking woman who looked to be near 50, and Jin didn't think she was the man's love match. However, she did have some candy sitting on a jar at the edge of her desk, and Jin swiped a few to munch on while he continued moving around.
Most of the people working there were male. None of them looked exciting, save for one guy who was having a very animated phone conversation with what seemed to be an ambassador from France. Jin kept moving down the hallway until he got to the last row of cubicles; obviously, the people who were the least important and didn't merit having a corner office.
He was about to turn around and head back towards where Kame had zapped them to begin with, only something stopped him. Something was drifting over the air towards his ears, and damn if Jin didn't know how to pick up the bass line of a Lil' Wayne song from twenty yards away. He snuck closer to the cubicles and wove in and out of them- it was always a bit weird to be walking right next to, and sometimes directly through, people who could neither see nor hear him.
He found what he was looking for at the last cubicle in the row, decorated with some posters of American R&B artists and artsy looking modern art prints of guitars and drum sets.
"This is definitely my kind of cubicle," Jin commented to himself. The girl sitting inside- who was pretty and young and when she pushed hair back behind her ear, was sporting an industrial piercing- hummed along with the music as she was typing into her laptop.
Jin perched himself up on top of her cabinets and sang along with the song until it ended, and then figured he'd wasted enough time and Kame was probably looking for him. He was right; by the time he got back past Higashiyama's secretary's desk, Kame was glaring at him and tapping one toe against the carpet.
"What?" Jin asked. "Oh, come on, I got bored."
"Did you at least read the information I gave you?" Kame asked.
Jin thought it was probably best NOT to lie. "Yeah, no," he admitted. "But, I did walk around a bit, and found that almost everyone here is really, really boring."
"Akanishi," Kame sighed.
"Hey!" Jin cried. "You know, this might work in our favor, because this guy..." He trailed off and finally glanced down at the print-off Kame had handed him. "... 'is one of the youngest Prime Ministers to ever be elected after rising quickly through the ranks of the government officials and serving a term as a cabinet official to the last'- okay, see? Totally boring. Perfect."
Kame snatched the information sheet back, huffy. "Higashiyama is not boring. He's brilliant, and he works hard, and he's going to do great things for his country. Just because he enjoys things like calligraphy and tai chi does not mean-"
"Oh my god, shut up," Jin moaned. "He so does not. Tell me you are lying."
Kame didn't have time to say anything. Higashiyama came out of his office with a flurry of office workers and interns and various other officials following him, all talking at the same time. Kame was immediately preoccupied with trying to follow them, like it mattered if they did or not. Jin was pretty sure they could just pop themselves in and out of wherever they needed to be.
"Okay," Kame told him, dragging Jin along behind Higashiyama's posse. "We are going to spend today watching him and taking notes of his individual personality quirks."
"What? Why?" Jin asked.
"Because this is a huge and very important assignment," Kame said, in a way that implied Jin was not supposed to argue (but then again, when did Jin ever listen to things like that?). "We are going to carefully observe him and then we can tailor our decisions based on his reactions."
It was the single most boring day of Jin's afterlife, and he'd had some real snoozers. They followed Higashiyama to a cabinet meeting where all they did was discuss place settings for the next dinner with the ambassadors. They followed Higashiyama to a meeting with his secretary, where they reassigned some of the office duties. They followed Higashiyama to the Diet building for yet another meeting that Jin wasn't even sure what was for, because he fell asleep five minutes in and only woke up when Kame poked him none too gently in the shoulder as Higashiyama was leaving again.
"You don't even need me here," Jin grumbled, as they followed the Prime Minister back out across the street towards the Kantei.
"This is your job," Kame snapped. "You officially work for me."
"What is the point to all of this, anyway?" Jin asked. "All we've done is follow him from meeting to meeting, and all he's talked about is boring, political stuff. None of this is going to help us!"
Kame pulled out two full sheets of paper with hand-written notes on them, including little bits at the sides with arrows and circles. He'd stopped short of highlighting the important words, but Jin wouldn't put it past him to go home that night and get out his 5-color highlighter set to do just that.
"You are insane," Jin said.
"And you're just worthless," Kame replied.
Jin stopped, right in the middle of the lobby. Higashiyama was headed back to his office, and Jin didn't care to go with him. "I am not worthless," Jin said. "Geezus, you know, I have a lot of talents."
"Like what?" Kame asked.
"Like..." Jin was too mad to come up with anything. "I play a fucking awesome air guitar, okay? And I'm a pretty good singer, too."
Kame was just standing there looking all high and mighty and Mr. Made for the Job, and the whole thing just pissed Jin off even more. "Akanishi, this is a job. You are an angel. And if you don't start helping with this, you may not even be that anymore. Now, I agreed to let you come to shadow me because Tackey asked me to, and I respect him. But I'm not going to deal with somebody who hardly bothers to try at all, especially on an assignment this big and this important."
"This is not helping anyone!" Jin cried, spreading his arms out to either side. "We don't even know who the match is, and even if we did, I wouldn't-"
"Her," Kame said suddenly, cutting Jin off mid-rant. He was pointing at someone behind Jin. Jin lowered his arms and turned around and saw the girl from earlier, with the industrial piercing and the R&B iPod playlist. She was dropping off an armful of documents with Higashiyama's secretary, that looked like inconsequential memos and copies flagged with colored post-its.
Jin turned back to Kame. "Are you kidding me?"
"No," Kame said. "Her name is Namura Aya."
"Her," Jin clarified.
Kame looked annoyed. "Yes, her."
"Kame, you're insane," Jin said. "She listens to American hip hop and collects cheap prints from something like posters.com having to do with rock and roll. I guarantee you that she goes home to an apartment that is barely clean, with her five dogs, and lounges around watching bad movies and drinking cheap beer until way too late in the morning."
Kame's eyebrows did that furrowing thing again. He started going through his papers, checking facts and graphs and whatever else he'd printed out that morning.
"Are you sure?" he asked. "Because I know that's her, and I mean, I thought she'd be a little older to be a good match, but age isn't always a good indication of how well people will-"
"Kame," Jin said.
He didn't need to say anything else. Kame reached forward and grabbed Jin's arm again and zapped them both outside. Aya was heading home, colorful purse dangling on one shoulder. Walking behind her, Jin could see that her demure black business skirt hid her colorful and way too high to be politically appropriate pumps. She had ear buds in her ears as she made her way down to the station, and played cell phone games and checked her mixi profile once she got on the train.
Jin could see Kame's anguish level slowly rising as they followed her back to her apartment which was, unsurprisingly, just as Jin had figured it would be. There was laundry all over the floor and posters of idols pinned to the walls, in-between the prints of American artists like Justin Timberlake and Usher. She didn't have any dogs but she did have two cats, both of which came up to greet her after she kicked her shoes off in the entryway.
"Well, I did tell you," Jin said, as Kame slumped against the wall looking completely depressed.
"This is impossible," he moaned. "This can't be done. There's no way."
Jin shrugged and watched Aya make herself some instant ramen. "Well, you know what they say. Opposites attract."
"She was supposed to be a smart, savvy business woman," Kame continued. "Or a secretary with a heart of gold and a passion for knitting. They were supposed to have common interests! She's just some university intern who doesn't care about the political system and dreams about being in some kind of rock band!"
He looked pretty upset. Jin thought it was great, but only because Aya seemed like someone he'd actually want to hang out with.
"There's obviously some reason they gave you this match," he started, and that seemed to be the worst thing he ever could have said, ever.
"This is a joke," Kame hissed, surging upright once more. "They gave me this as a cruel joke. Just to watch me flounder with this, because it can't possibly be done."
"That's not actually what I-" Jin started.
Kame was bristling and moving towards the door, all bent out of shape. In fact, Jin didn't even know why he was bothering with the door at all, considering they just needed to zap back into the agency upstairs. Apparently, he was really rattled.
"And you," the other man continued, out in the hallway, giving Jin no choice but to follow if he wanted a way back home, given his current lack of transportation clearance. "You are just part of this whole joke. Designed to make me go crazy."
"When did this all become my fault?" Jin asked.
Kame just mumbled something under his breath and reached out to grab Jin's shoulder. A split second later, and they were back on floor 8 of the agency, and Kame was already moving away towards his office.
"Kame!" Jin cried. The other man ignored him.
Fed up, Jin decided his work day was done, and he was going to go home.
--
Part 2