fic for reiicharu
Title: Threads
By: nightinbird
Pairing: Akame
Word count: 7,012
Rating: PG
Genre/Warnings: Romance/Angst
Notes: reiicharu, I hope you'll enjoy this! ^^ A hundred thousand sparkly and melodramatic thanks to my beta, you rock! <3
Summary: There is a thread glinting in the darkness, invisible to them both. It lies waiting, curling and uncurling, whispering of fate.
1 ---
Night has fallen. The beach is quiet, deserted but for a small tent and a trailer parked a few meters away. The blinds were drawn closed just a bit after midnight, when the drunken laughter of the crew had subsided and everyone had gone to bed.
Inside the tent, Jin and Kame lie huddled in their sleeping bags. They've stopped talking in their hushed voices half an hour ago, but both are still awake.
Both wonder if the other is asleep.
Jin shifts restlessly, and every other minute, he opens his mouth like he wants to say something, then seems to think otherwise, and goes back to staring gloomily at the roof of the tent.
Maybe he's looking for courage.
Kame is curled up on his side, clutching his sleeping bag tightly. He is squinting at the older boy beside him, but he can't make out more than a silhouette in the dark.
They've known each other for three years, and during that time, they've gone from audition comrades to dance practice buddies to… something neither has yet acknowledged.
There is a thread glinting in the darkness, invisible to them both. It lies waiting, curling and uncurling, whispering of fate.
Then the younger boy clears his throat, and the thread stills, quivering in anticipation.
"Jin?"
The word hangs between them, and for a second, both are holding their breath. Then Jin exhales, and rolls onto his side.
"Hm?"
"Thank you," says Kame. His voice sounds uncertain.
Jin seems confused. "What for?"
The tent rustles in the wind. Kame's answer is spoken so quietly that it's hard to make out the words as he whispers: "For choosing me."
Jin's eyes widen. Then a bright grin spreads over his face. "Idiot," he says fondly, reaching out to ruffle Kame's spiky hair. "Who else would I choose?"
When the younger boy squirms, Jin lets his hand drop onto a bony shoulder. "Kame," he says, hesitating. Maybe, in another time and place, he'd stop there, but under the cover of dark, he continues.
"You're my best friend. Seriously, who else would I choose?"
Kame doesn't answer, but his grip on the sleeping bag has softened, and a smile is slowly forming. "Best friends?" he asks, and his voice is breathy with excitement.
"Yeah," Jin murmurs, embarrassed.
They don't speak after that. But as their breathing evens out towards sleep, Jin's hand never leaves Kame's shoulder.
In the darkness, the thread glitters between them, knotting slowly around their wrists.
2 ---
"I'm really not sure if this is a good idea," Kame says, just for the record.
Jin ignores him, walking with determined strides toward the cash register.
"Jin! Could you just listen for a second and-"
"Stop it," Jin says, and gets in line behind a middle-aged salary man nervously fiddling with a tiny box. From the way the guy's eyes keep flicking to the windows at the front of the jewellery store, Kame doesn't think the purchase is going to his wife.
Clutching a similar box in his fist, Jin is staring resolutely at the back of the man's head. For someone who announced a minute ago that this was totally cool, not gay at all, and would definitely set off a nationwide trend among guys, he is blushing way too hard.
"This is insane," Kame mutters, though he knows Jin is already aware of his thoughts on the matter. Unfortunately, his friend can be more stubborn than a herd of mules combined.
The salary man slinks away, and it's their turn. The cashier flashes them a practiced smile, not batting an eyelash at the contents of the box.
Then again, there's no way for her to know who they're buying it for.
"That will be 19,900 yen," she chirps, voice bare of any curiosity.
Kame shifts his duffel bag onto his other shoulder and tries to wrestle his wallet out of his too tight jeans pocket. Just when he has managed to pull it out and is about to flip it open to pay for his share, an elbow hits him hard in the side.
"I'm paying," Jin hisses, nearly dropping the bills in his haste to push them at the cashier.
For a second, Kame is confused, because as far as he can remember, they were going to split the costs evenly.
Then Jin flashes him a fake smile and exclaims in an equally fake cheerful voice: "Thanks for your help, man! Haruka-chan is going to love these! "
He should've known Jin would get cold feet after all.
"She'll be thrilled," Kame deadpans, and pockets his wallet.
While the cashier is wrapping the box in glittering foil and purple ribbon, he elbows Jin back and raises a single eyebrow.
Chicken, he mouths.
Jin glares. As soon as the cashier has finished, he swipes the neatly wrapped box off the counter and storms out of the shop, heading straight for the next side street. Kame follows him at what he considers a more inconspicuous pace.
Once they're out of sight, Jin turns around sharply. "I'm not chickening out!"
"Hmm," Kame says.
"And even if I was," Jin adds, clumsily tugging off the ribbon, "we've already bought them, so we might as well go through with it."
He is still blushing fiercely, but there is a determined edge to his voice that Kame knows only too well. It means Jin is about to jump, and he's going to take Kame down with him.
It's fortunate for them, and for KAT-TUN, that Kame has learned to dig in his heels.
"You just got flustered in front of a cashier who didn't even care," Kame says, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "What are you going to do if the papers misinterpret it? Because making up a girlfriend won't be an option then." Not unless they wanted to make headlines with a love triangle.
"I'll just tell them the truth," Jin says stubbornly, and begins to tear at the wrapping. There's glitter dusting all over his hands. "We were going to get bracelets, but you thought they were all fuck ugly, so we had no choice but to go for rings instead."
Kame narrows his eyes. "You do want me to wear mine, right?"
Jin snickers. "Calm down, I'll make it sound pretty." He takes a moment to flip the box open. "Dear sweet fangirls," he continues, voice pitched as high as the time he'd been dressed up as a nurse. "I present to you these rings as the token of mine and Kame's platonic but fanservice-heavy friendship. We could've bought bracelets like everybody else, but we think rings are cooler. Now shriek, please."
Kame snorts and looks down at the rings that gleam innocently in the afternoon sun. "They'll definitely scream their heads off when they see these."
"Yeah, and you'll enjoy every second of it."
"As if you won't."
Jin grins sheepishly, and Kame feels his resistance crumbling.
He takes a deep, calming breath. "Alright," he says, once again shoving his hand into his pocket in search of his wallet. It'd make things weird if he let Jin pay for him, like someone's girlfriend. "I give up. We'll do it."
Whooping gleefully, Jin snatches the smaller ring out of the box and grabs Kame's free hand with his glittery fingers.
"Oi!" Kame hisses, struggling against Jin's grip, because this definitely counts as making things weird, but Jin is stronger and Kame has trouble working his other hand back out of his jeans pocket.
While he's cursing himself for ever agreeing to this, he feels the ring being pushed onto his finger.
"Are you insane?" Kame jerks his hand away, and sends what he hopes is a death-inducing glare in Jin's direction. He can feel his cheeks flare in embarrassment. "What if someone got a picture of that?"
"Don't worry, I checked, there's no cameras around," Jin says happily, slipping the other ring over his finger. Like Kame's, somehow, it fits.
Kame groans. "I get it. You are insane. Why do I even put up with you?"
"Because I'm special?" Jin looks down at him with wide puppy eyes.
Kame flicks him in the forehead. "Don't bother, you know that doesn't work on me." Except it does, every single time. But he certainly isn't going to admit to that. "Let's get away from here. I want to have pasta one last time before our manager kills us."
He doesn't kill them. When they arrive, he is on the phone with the boss, holding pictures of them slurping Italian noodles, the pinky rings sparkling cheerfully in the electric candlelight.
Johnny laughs and orders them a raise.
3 ---
"Those rings are gayer than your next Shounen Club outfit," Pi says, weeks later, and takes a drag of the cigarette they're sharing. "Couldn't you have bought something less flashy? What's wrong with friendship bracelets?"
"You sound like my mom," Jin grumbles, leaning back against the door of the bathroom stall. "Admit it, you're just jealous I didn't get you one."
Pi chuckles and blows a lungful of smoke towards the ceiling. Not that anyone will care. Being the agency's only bathroom without a smoke detector, the place reeks of cigarettes already.
"Jin, I love you and all, but sharing rings? No way." Pi hands the rest of the cigarette to Jin, and fishes a box of mint drops out of his pocket. "I mean, I know management loves it, and the fans love it, hell, even that guy directing your new drama loves it, but… doesn't it feel weird?"
"No… -not really." Jin considers the rest of the cigarette. After a second, he throws it in the toilet bowl, unfinished. If he doesn't leave now, he'll be late for rehearsal, which means he'll suffer Kame's widely underestimated wrath, rings notwithstanding.
Pi snickers and throws him a mint. "Pussy-whipped."
Flipping him off, Jin reaches for the door handle. His ring clinks against the metal as he walks out of the stall.
Before the door can fall shut behind him, Pi pushes it open again.
"Hey," he says, voice soft. "He really is something special to you, isn't he?"
Jin stops in his tracks, reflexively rubbing his thumb over the thin band of silver around his finger. He thinks of the brilliant smile on Kame's face two days ago, right after they'd been told about Gokusen. The way his arms had wrapped around Jin's shoulders in a crushing embrace.
"Yeah," Jin finally says. "I guess he is."
4 ---
From the doorframe of Jin's apartment, Kame watches the last four letters of KAT-TUN walk down the hallway toward the elevator. Staggering drunkenly in his rock star boots, Ueda has one arm slung around an equally swaying Nakamaru, while his other arm clumsily swats at Taguchi, who is skipping down the hall like it isn't four in the morning. Koki trudges after them, turning around every few steps to wave Kame goodbye.
When the elevator doors slide shut behind them, Kame shuffles back into the apartment. It's dark, except for a dim light in the living room.
"Are they gone?" Jin slurs from where he is sprawled over his brand new couch. "They were taking so long, I thought I'd clean up a bit."
Kame looks down at the coffee table. The black wood is hardly visible beneath the chaos of beer bottles, glasses, spilled food, overflowing ashtrays and the handfuls of gummy bears Jin and Ueda kept throwing at each other until Kame had brought out Jin's guitar to divert their attention.
"If that's your definition of cleaning up, this place is going to mutate into a dump within weeks," Kame says, and begins to stack the shot glasses, ignoring the way his aim is slightly off. A few bottles of beer aren't going to keep him from annihilating this mess.
"Kaaame," Jin whines. "Do we really have to clean this up tonight? It's still my special day."
Kame throws a gummy bear at him. "It's your apartment's special day! We shouldn't let it fall asleep dirty on its first night with people inside!"
"My mum said she'd come over tomorrow to help me clean, anyway," Jin points out, popping the gummy bear into his mouth.
"Spoiled brat." Kame tries to get up without dropping all the glasses, but the floor seems somewhat tilted, and they begin to wobble dangerously. He quickly puts them down again.
"Kaaame," Jin drawls again. "Why can't we just do this tomorrow? You are staying the night, right?"
Kame shakes his head. "I was going to, but Ichihara-san mailed a couple of hours ago. Says I have to be at the agency at six for some urgent meeting."
"What?" Jin looks confused. "Hang on, isn't that in two hours?" Eyes wide, he sits up straight. "Did you do something stupid?"
Kame shrugs. "Not that I know of. I'll wait and see." Knowing the agency, it could be anything from a change of hairstyle to winning an Oscar to being suspended for illegal drinking, but if he freaked out about every unscheduled meeting in his life, he'd go into cardiac arrest before he hit thirty.
He is about to head for the kitchen to inspect the dishes when Jin makes a distressed sound, the way he always does when he's drunk too much and needs to run for the bathroom. Kame's head snaps around so fast his body has problems following through. He really doesn't want to have to deal with cleaning up after that.
But Jin doesn't look like he's in need of a bucket. Eyes downcast, he is curled up in the corner of the couch, fiddling with the ring on his finger.
"Hey," Kame says, and sits down onto the cushion next to him. Cleaning while tipsy is a bad idea, anyway."Really, it's going to be okay. I didn't do anything stupid for them to suspend me, I promise."
"I know you didn't," Jin says and lets himself flop down miserably onto Kame's lap. Alcohol tends to make him forget things like personal space.
"It's just this feeling I have…" he says, gazing miserably at his pinky ring."I've been thinking… things have been so good for all of us this year; I still can't believe it. The tour, and the drama, and now moving out… It's too many good things at once. I don't trust it and… I'm afraid." He looks up at Kame, drunkenly vulnerable. "I'm afraid they'll tear it all apart."
The thought of the agency crushing their dreams with the stroke of a pen makes Kame see red, and the vehemence in his own voice takes him by surprise. "I won't let them!" He looks down at Jin, whose eyes have widened at his sudden outburst. "I won't let them take you away from me."
For a second, Jin lies perfectly still, gazing up at Kame in something akin to wonder. Then he slowly pushes himself up with one arm until their faces are just inches apart. Kame can see the tiny threads of red in Jin's bloodshot eyes.
"When did you get so strong?" Jin murmurs, and his breath fans warmly over Kame's lips.
In the back of his mind, something's screaming at Kame to back away right now, but Jin's gaze is warm, so warm, and familiar and maybe, Kame thinks while he's forgetting to breathe, just maybe, they've been circling around this for a long, long time.
By the time Jin's eyelashes flutter shut before him, Kame has forgotten what they were talking about, and when Jin sways close to clumsily kiss him for the first time, it stops mattering altogether.
- -
One hour later, Kame gets up from the couch, draping a blanket over Jin's sleeping form before he leaves.
Two hours later, with his lips still flushed from their kisses, he sits in front of their manager and refuses to accept a spot in a drama that comes with a CD debut alongside Yamashita Tomohisa.
Four hours later, he leaves Johnny's office and makes it to the closest bathroom just in time before he breaks down and sobs like a child. When he buries his face in his shaking hands, his pinky finger is bare.
Ten hours later, Jin wakes up. His head hurts like someone's played a round of baseball with it, and a strong wave of nausea has him stumbling for the toilet. When his knees hit the tiled floor, he remembers.
Ten and a half hours later, Jin checks his emails. There's only one, and it consists of four words.
It was a mistake.
Two days and fifteen rejected calls later, Jin storms into their dressing room to make Kame explain, but stops short when his gaze drops to Kame's left hand. It's all the explanation he needs.
One year later, Jin tells a shell-shocked KAT-TUN that he's leaving them for good.
His ring lies buried in a bottom drawer.
5 ---
Stretched thin across an entire ocean, a thread that once hummed of fate is slowly unravelling, tugging weakly at two hearts that are broken.
Then New York happens in an austere meeting room, where it takes Kame just one heart-stopping glance at Jin to realize that he'll never be able to let go of this man, not completely.
"Welcome back," he says, shocking the rest of KAT-TUN into silence, and the careful smile he receives in response tells him they'll make it through this eventually.
Even if colleagues is all they're going to be from now on, Kame will put his all into it.
Around his wrist, under the leather bracelet he's worn for years, the thread begins to gleam a timid red once again.
6 ---
They've only made it through half the Hokkaido concerts, but Jin seriously doubts he can get up from the ratty dressing room couch again, let alone walk onstage and dance his way through today's evening show, or the two concerts tomorrow.
He's cold under a pile of blankets. It's getting hard to keep his eyes open, and he dizzily wonders what exactly the agency doctor put into the IV attached to his arm. He squints at the transparent bag dangling from the costume rack someone pushed next to the couch, but the liquid inside is clear, like water, and Jin is none the wiser. He should have asked the guy what was in there, he thinks, allowing his eyes to droop. Should have written it down because… allergies… and…
He jerks awake at a touch on his arm, stomach cramping in protest against the sudden movement.
"What…?"
"It's alright, Akanishi-san," a male voice says in a smooth, professional tone. The doctor, Jin realizes. "Just a small injection, then you can go back to sleep again."
Jin reluctantly relaxes. The tour manager made it clear that he's expected to continue performing until the agency considers him unable to do so. Given the fact they'd once made Kame limp back onstage, drugged to the brink with painkillers after a two meter fall, Jin doesn't think they'll let him miss the concert unless he starts vomiting blood.
The doctor is dabbing the back of Jin's hand with an alcohol swab when suddenly the door bangs open and Kame storms in. Jin raises a feeble hand to wave at him reassuringly, but his band mate doesn't even glance at him, crossing the room in furious strides and yanking the doctor away from Jin's side.
"OUT!" Kame yells, and he looks more furious than Jin has ever seen him.
Kame never, never raises his voice at people older than himself, and especially not agency employees.
Dumbfounded, Jin watches with wide eyes as the doctor stumbles backward, bowing and mumbling apologies. "I… your manager said he'd consented… it wasn't my decision to-"
"Shut up!" Kame hisses, using the harshest form of Japanese. "I thought we made it very, very clear: if you so much as go near him with that shit, you can pack your bags immediately and just get the hell out!"
The doctor's face goes white. "It's… we've used it many times in the past… it's never caused any long-lasting problems, and it'd ensure his performance is sufficiently energetic so that the fans-"
"Fuck the fans!" From the couch, Jin has a perfect view of Kame's hands bunching into fists, and the way his back ripples as he closes in on the doctor. "It's illegal, and it's fucking dangerous! I don't give a shit how many guys you've doped up with it - in this group, it won't be tolerated. It won't. Do you understand me?"
"Kamenashi-san, please. The agency will have both our heads if I don't-"
"Forget it!" Kame shoves the doctor out the door and into the adjoining room. "He'll do the concert, we agreed to that, he agreed to that, he will do the concert. He'll look pretty, he'll do some of his singing live, he'll move as much as he can without throwing up. That's it. They want anything more, they're welcome to try and get past me."
Jin didn't know Kame's voice could get so cold. It sends a shiver down his spine, and he burrows closer into the threadbare cushions of the couch. His head feels sluggish, like someone stuffed it with cotton balls, and his stomach cramps with a new wave of nausea.
He doesn't hear what else Kame says, but it seems to do the trick. A door slams shut, and for a moment, there's silence. Then something clicks, and the room goes dark except for the gleam of the emergency exit sign.
Jin feels the nausea subside a bit at the sudden lack of light, and he draws the blankets higher.
"Kamenashi?"
Familiar steps shuffle close, and the couch sags next to him as Kame says, "I'll stay here until we're due for the second round."
"Hmm." Jin can feel himself getting sleepy again. Must be the stuff in the IV kicking in. "How long?"
"Two hours. We're starting one hour later than planned, and Kisumai will do their songs before we go on stage, instead of in the second half."
Jin feels a lump form in his throat. "That's… good of them," he manages.
"I didn't give them much choice," Kame says, and Jin feels him shift on the couch. The next moment, there's a light touch over his hair. "Now stop thinking and rest."
Through the blankets, Jin can feel the heat of Kame's body, firm and reassuring. It feels… good, he thinks, and… familiar.
In the dark dressing room, hearing Kame's breath steady and calm beside him, his muddled brain recalls the last time they were sitting this close.
"Kame," he mumbles drowsily, half-asleep, and images of one night he'd vowed to forget and this one of Kame, shouting down a doctor, blur and overlap until Jin can't tell where one night ends and the other begins. "When… did you get so strong?"
He barely feels Kame go still beside him. Then nothing, and he's falling, drifting, dozing off, and then, just as he's slipping away into sleep, the back of someone's fingers stroke softly down his temple, and there's a whisper of… something. But what….?
- -
When Jin opens his eyes again, his stomach doesn't hurt quite as much anymore, and part of the nausea seems to have abated. The lights are back on and the rest of the band are quietly changing into their first layers of costumes. Kame is fluffing up his hair with the help of a small, handheld mirror. He is still sitting by Jin's side.
"I feel better," Jin rasps, and Kame looks up without pause. It takes effort, but Jin manages a lopsided smile. "So, no doctor anymore. You don't happen to know how to remove an IV?"
Kame snickers, and promptly messes up a lock of hair in the process. "No, but I do know someone who used to make a very fine nurse."
Jin chuckles, but stops when it sends a stab of pain through his stomach. While he's busy gritting his teeth, Taguchi announces that he'll go fetch someone from one of the medical teams on standby. Kame nods and is about to get up, but Jin reaches out and stops him.
"Did I…" He swallows, hesitating. "Before I fell asleep, did I… say anything weird?"
For a second, he sees something flash in Kame's eyes, but then Kame smiles smoothly and shakes his head, getting up. "Let me put it like this way: if you said anything, it didn't feel weird to me."
That's not what Jin was asking, but he isn't going to get any more out of man, because their tour manager chooses that moment to burst into the dressing room. They're due in fifteen minutes.
The announcement earns Jin several worried looks from the rest of his group, but he knows he can count on them to get him through this.
7 ---
Kame pushes open the door to the agency rooftop. One hand is already going for the pack cigarettes in his coat when he sees the lone figure, crouched low against the parapet, breathing wisps of smoke into the dark grey sky.
"Yo," he calls. Yamapi looks up in surprise as Kame walks over to him. "Okay if I join you?"
"No need to ask," Yamapi says lightly, and Kame leans against the fence circling the rooftop above the parapet. "Ultimate Wheels, right? Things not going to plan?"
"The usual," Kame says, nodding. He rummages around for his lighter and frowns when he remembers he'd leant it to Koki earlier. "But we'll have it under control by the first television appearance, I think." Something nudges at his hip. When he looks down, Yamapi is holding a lighter out to him. "Ah, thanks."
"No problem," Yamapi says. He pauses, flicking away the ash at the end of his cigarette, then sighs. "You're still having trouble, aren't you? Because of him."
Kame lights his cigarette, feeling his muscles relax at the first lungful of nicotine. "Not really," he says. He wouldn't call it trouble, not anymore. Back in the summer, it'd shaken them to the roots, to have Jin taken away after supporting his solo activities to the point of going on tour without him. In the immediate aftermath, no one had felt comfortable. And unlike last time, they couldn't blame Jin, who was feeling more miserable about the whole mess than any of them.
"Not really," Kame repeats, handing the lighter back to Yamapi. "But I guess we'll never stop missing him as part of the group."
Yamapi takes a deep drag, looking down at the steel-capped toes of his boots. After a moment, he blows a cloud of smoke down toward the concrete floor, and then he says quietly, "He misses being a part of the group too sometimes. When he hears a song on the radio, or he sees you on TV. Or after he comes home from one of your nights at Ueda's."
"I know," Kame says. "We all know. He slips up sometimes."
They're both silent for a while, smoking slowly while the agency bustles with activity below their feet. Then Yamapi drops his cigarette to the ground, and stamps it out. "He told me the three of you were coming to see him in Osaka this weekend: you, Ueda, and Nakamaru." Casually, he plucks the butt from the dirty floor and stashes it away in a portable ashtray. "But… grapevine has it you're not supposed to go at all."
Kame lets his head drop back against the fence. "The grapevine has it right; I'm still working on getting permission. I'll convince them eventually."
"Playing it by the book, I see," Pi says carefully, standing up. He steps away toward the door, but pauses halfway. "Sometimes I wonder --," he looks hesitant, "-- why you go through so much trouble for him. After all that… happened."
Kame smiles wistfully, and takes a last drag of his cigarette. "He's special, I guess."
He can't read the strange look Yamapi gives him, so he just waves and turns around to watch the city lights before him. When he hears the door fall shut, he takes out his phone, and sends Jin a quick email.
Looking forward to the concert. ^^v Make me proud to be your friend.
- -
After the concert, Kame, Nakamaru and Ueda are taken aside by a member of staff who leads them backstage to Jin's dressing room. One look at the chaos of make-up, clothes, brushes and lyric sheets spread all over the room and the three of them break into laughter. Jin hasn't changed at all.
After a few minutes, the door to the adjoining bathroom opens and Jin comes flying in, still dripping and wearing nothing but a towel knotted hastily around his hip.
"You came!" he shouts, grinning all over his face, and tackles Nakamaru and Ueda in a huge hug that gets them both wet. Amused, Kame watches Nakamaru splutter indignantly and Ueda just roll his eyes, clapping Jin on the back.
Then Jin whirls around, and his smile gains another few megawatts before Kame is wrapped in a damp pair of arms. "You came," Jin breathes giddily, and Kame can hear the adrenaline from the show in his voice. "Did I make you proud?"
Kame raises his arms to return the hug, squeezing affectionately. "You did," he says, and grins back.
He firmly ignores the way his heart beats faster.
8 ---
This far into the night, the dance floor is crowded, packed tight with sweaty bodies flopping to Gaga's latest; colorful liquid sloshing in too many glasses, spilling over shirts, leggings and boots, dripping onto the floor, where a staccato rhythm of high heels grinds it into a sticky layer of dirt.
Jin is slumped on his favorite couch, half-watching the crowd, half-listening to the drunken chatter of his friends. He was supposed to be way more buzzed at this point, but somehow, the right mood hasn't struck him yet. The pink champagne in his glass had stopped bubbling an hour ago.
Maybe he should just give up and call it a night.
Spinning a new beat, the DJ begins to dance wildly behind his turntables, and the people on the dance floor follow his lead, cheering. The crowd shifts, and for a moment, Jin can see right across to the bar by the entrance, where a man with a hat pulled low over his face is gesturing to the bartender.
Jin stills, staring, because through the multicolored beams of the party lights, the man looks a lot like Kame. Then the crowd surges again, and Jin's line of sight is blocked again once more. He blinks. He could've sworn…
Then he remembers where he is, and tries to recall the last time Kame set foot in a club, let alone this club. He comes up empty, of course he does, because Kame just… doesn't do things like that. Doesn't allow himself to do things like that.
Not to mention the agency would throw a fit if well-behaved, responsible Kamenashi Kazuya was caught sleazing in one of Akanishi Jin's favorite haunts.
Next to Jin, Pi breaks into raucous laughter, and promptly chokes on his drink. Jin turns his attention away from the crowd to clap his friend on the back.
"Thanks, man," Pi rasps, when he can breathe again, and then scoots away from Jin to steal Lizzy's drink. Rolling his eyes, Jin glances back towards the dance floor. And freezes.
Near the entrance to the VIP area, the man from earlier, now sans hat, is dancing enthusiastically to the blaring music, a purple drink in one hand. Raising his other hand into the air, he throws his head back, lets his eyes flutter close and his mouth fall open a bit while his hips sway in obvious invitation.
It's Kame.
And Jin's brain seems unable to process this bit of information, so he just keeps watching. He watches Kame's body move smoothly, seductively. Watches as a couple of models dancing near him go wide-eyed, and one of them begins to edge closer. Watches as Kame opens his eyes and looks her up and down, cocking his head. Jin swallows.
Then someone grips his shoulder, and a voice that sounds like Pi's says, "Oh god. I don't believe this." Jin doesn't believe it either.
For a few long seconds, they both stare at Kame, who is shaking his head at the model and stumbles a few steps back, spilling half of his drink.
"Is he drunk?" Pi breathes, and when Jin glances over at him, his friend seems just as shocked as he is to see Kame rolling his hips on the dance floor of their favorite club.
"We need to stop this," Pi says slowly, as Kame begins to eye another girl. But she doesn't seem to be aware of him, so he tries to weave his way through the people around her. The move brings him closer to where Jin and his friends are sitting, behind the barrier that divides the seats and tables from the rest of the club.
Maybe it's the diamonds on Ryo's watch that catch his eye, or maybe it's the combined weight of Jin's and Pi's incredulous stares - whatever it is, for a second, Kame stops short, squinting through the flashing strobe lights, letting his eyes sweep over the semi-darkness of the VIP section. Then recognition brightens his face, and he waves. Taking care to keep his head low and stick to the edges of the dance floor, he makes his way toward them, drink wobbling dangerously in his hand.
On the other side of their table, Ryo finally snaps to attention. Slowly setting his beer down, he watches Kame approach with a dumbfounded look on his face.
"Hi," Kame says cheerfully when he reaches them, and plops down in the small space left between Pi and Jin on the couch. Without further ado, he takes a long swig of his cocktail and leans back against the black leather, not bothering to keep his shoulder from brushing Jin's.
"Hi?" Jin manages weakly, edging back a bit because this is insane, surreal even, because he knows Kame and how he insists on being careful, on avoiding places like this to stop scandals before they can happen.
It seems Pi has recovered faster from the initial shock. "Kame-chan," he says carefully, like he is talking to a person smiling with a knife in their hand. "What are you doing here?"
Kame giggles.
On the other side of the table, Ryo looks like the world as he knew it has ended.
"Having a night out, what else?" Kame laughs, and gulps down the rest of his glass, swaying a bit as he puts it down on the table."Too sweet," he sighs, and then he flashes a bright smile straight at Lizzy.
"Hello darling," he slurs in heavily accented English, and winks at her. "Kazuya Kamenashi, nice to meet you. Wanna dance?"
While Lizzy stumbles over her self-introduction, Jin sits there, gaping, and Ryo's eyes seem on the verge of rolling back into his head. Granted, Ryo has had a lot to drink tonight.
Fortunately, Pi at least can keep his head through even the weirdest shit. Over the top of Kame's head, he gives Jin a look that screams Do something!
And Jin snaps out of it.
Grabbing Kame's wrist, he stands up. "Excuse us, guys."
He makes it to a darker, more secluded corner of the VIP-area in a matter of seconds, Kame stumbling clumsily after him, but Jin thinks he saw a mobile phone in the hands of a model they passed, and he knows they're probably being watched already by gossip-greedy eyes.
He can feel cold sweat forming between his shoulder blades as he frantically wonders how much it's going to cost the agency to silence this.
"Are you out of your mind?" he whispers, and moves in front of Kame, so he's blocking most of the view from the couches closest to them. "What do you think you're doing?"
Kame shrugs gracelessly, and leans his head against the wall. "I'm causing a scandal."
"Causing a… WHAT?" Jin stares at him, incredulous. "Are you joking?"
"Hmm." Kame twists a strand of hair around his finger and looks past Jin's shoulder. "I was thinking that blonde would work nicely, but you interrupted."
"I interrupted--?" Jin feels his voice sliding up an octave. "Are you high on something?" He leans closer to take a look at Kame's eyes.
"Nah," Kame says, swatting at Jin's chest. "Just a few drinks before I came here. Liquid courage, and more authentic that way." He scowls. "It's not supposed to look like it's deliberate; and you're ruining that now."
"Deliberate?" Jin manages, beginning to feel like a parrot. "Wait, someone actually put you up to this?"
"Of course." Kame rolls his eyes, giving Jin an exasperated look like he's the dumbest kid on the block. "New drama this winter. They did some… analysis, and apparently I've gotten boring. No scandals, too much baseball." He cocks his head, and scrunches up his eyebrows the way Jin remembers their manager doing, whenever he was trying to look grave. "Kamenashi, please go and get caught with a nice-looking lady. Preferably somewhere shadier than a restaurant, but less scandalous than in front of a hotel."
Jin blinks. "So you decided to come here?"
Kame waves his hand sloppily, gesturing in the direction of the dance floor. "I thought of the seediest places that still get celebrities in, and remembered how much you used to rave about this place. That's why I came." He looks back up at Jin, smiling tentatively, face flushed from the drinks he's downed. "It's insane, I know, but it's not like I have much choice. You know how it works. So…. will you let me go back to that blonde, please?"
Jin's brain promptly supplies him with the image of an intoxicated Kame grinding against Lizzy on the dance floor, and it sends a rush of jealousy stabbing through his chest.
The problem is, it's not Kame's place he wants to be in.
But he'd rather not analyze that, so he quickly presses on. "Listen Kame, I don't get it. You don't let the agency meddle in your private life," he says, because this is Kamenashi, who once dated a woman twenty years his senior and damned the consequences. "You never have. Why are you going along with this all of a sudden?"
Kame's face falls, and he begins to fiddle with the bracelets around his wrist.
"It wouldn't be the first time I let them meddle," he finally says, and when his eyes meet Jin's, they are dark and sad, like Jin should know what he's talking about, like… But then he closes them, slumping back against the wall, defeated. "That was a long time ago, it's not like it matters anymore. Forget I said anything."
And suddenly, Jin wonders.
About… that, back then.
He blinks. And wonders some more.
And, looking back now, really looking, without all the anger and bitterness that used to cloud his memory, really thinking about it while the music from the speakers blares around them… he sees.
What could have happened. Afterwards.
"That night…" he starts, voice thick, but finds himself unable to continue. He is afraid of the answer. He's afraid of what it might mean for all the things he's done.
Unbidden, his gaze drops down to the lush curve of Kame's lips, and his heart skips a beat. He tries to remember how they felt under his, long ago; warm maybe, soft. Welcoming.
He swallows, starts a second time."That night we…. When-"
"It doesn't matter," Kame repeats, refusing to meet Jin's eyes. He pushes himself away from the wall, swaying dangerously as he attempts to move past.
Without thinking, Jin grabs his wrist. "You're wrong," he says slowly. "It does matter."
For a moment, Kame goes perfectly still.
Then, slowly, painstakingly slowly, he raises his head until he is looking up at Jin, wide-eyed, searching. Jin doesn't dare move a single muscle, but in his chest, his heart is pumping to a frantic beat. He's vaguely aware that he's still holding Kame's hand.
Then Kame's chest rises with a slow intake of breath, his mouth falling open slightly, and there's something akin to wonder forming in his eyes. He takes a small step forward. Then another. A glance over Jin's shoulder, and he licks his lips, leaning in slightly. When his eyes meet Jin's again, they are warm, so warm, and bright with hope.
"So," he says, pulse racing beneath Jin's hand. "Will you be my scandal?"
"Nah," Jin breathes. "I'd rather take you home with me."
And he does.
- -
Two hours later, Jin watches Kame fall asleep beside him, praying to whatever god might be listening that Kame will remember this in the morning.
Five hours later, when the sun has barely risen, Jin is woken up by a warm pair of lips on his neck.
Ten hours later, Kame sits in front of his manager and refuses to explain the pictures of Jin holding his wrist. Instead, he tells the man to stop meddling in his private life.
Twelve hours later, he leaves Johnny's office with his head held high. Whatever the agency might have thought, he had grown stronger after all.
Thirteen hours later, way past noon, Jin wakes up sore but deliriously happy. There's an email in his inbox.
Made it out alive. Be back soon.
Love you,
Kazuya
One year later, on a rare day off between tour dates, single promotions, and filming schedules, they watch the sun set from a secluded beach in Okinawa, and Jin silently thanks his younger self for choosing the awkward boy who grew into the man beside him. He won't let go of him again.
Between their hands, an invisible red thread shines brightly, thrumming with fate.
By: nightinbird
Pairing: Akame
Word count: 7,012
Rating: PG
Genre/Warnings: Romance/Angst
Notes: reiicharu, I hope you'll enjoy this! ^^ A hundred thousand sparkly and melodramatic thanks to my beta, you rock! <3
Summary: There is a thread glinting in the darkness, invisible to them both. It lies waiting, curling and uncurling, whispering of fate.
1 ---
Night has fallen. The beach is quiet, deserted but for a small tent and a trailer parked a few meters away. The blinds were drawn closed just a bit after midnight, when the drunken laughter of the crew had subsided and everyone had gone to bed.
Inside the tent, Jin and Kame lie huddled in their sleeping bags. They've stopped talking in their hushed voices half an hour ago, but both are still awake.
Both wonder if the other is asleep.
Jin shifts restlessly, and every other minute, he opens his mouth like he wants to say something, then seems to think otherwise, and goes back to staring gloomily at the roof of the tent.
Maybe he's looking for courage.
Kame is curled up on his side, clutching his sleeping bag tightly. He is squinting at the older boy beside him, but he can't make out more than a silhouette in the dark.
They've known each other for three years, and during that time, they've gone from audition comrades to dance practice buddies to… something neither has yet acknowledged.
There is a thread glinting in the darkness, invisible to them both. It lies waiting, curling and uncurling, whispering of fate.
Then the younger boy clears his throat, and the thread stills, quivering in anticipation.
"Jin?"
The word hangs between them, and for a second, both are holding their breath. Then Jin exhales, and rolls onto his side.
"Hm?"
"Thank you," says Kame. His voice sounds uncertain.
Jin seems confused. "What for?"
The tent rustles in the wind. Kame's answer is spoken so quietly that it's hard to make out the words as he whispers: "For choosing me."
Jin's eyes widen. Then a bright grin spreads over his face. "Idiot," he says fondly, reaching out to ruffle Kame's spiky hair. "Who else would I choose?"
When the younger boy squirms, Jin lets his hand drop onto a bony shoulder. "Kame," he says, hesitating. Maybe, in another time and place, he'd stop there, but under the cover of dark, he continues.
"You're my best friend. Seriously, who else would I choose?"
Kame doesn't answer, but his grip on the sleeping bag has softened, and a smile is slowly forming. "Best friends?" he asks, and his voice is breathy with excitement.
"Yeah," Jin murmurs, embarrassed.
They don't speak after that. But as their breathing evens out towards sleep, Jin's hand never leaves Kame's shoulder.
In the darkness, the thread glitters between them, knotting slowly around their wrists.
2 ---
"I'm really not sure if this is a good idea," Kame says, just for the record.
Jin ignores him, walking with determined strides toward the cash register.
"Jin! Could you just listen for a second and-"
"Stop it," Jin says, and gets in line behind a middle-aged salary man nervously fiddling with a tiny box. From the way the guy's eyes keep flicking to the windows at the front of the jewellery store, Kame doesn't think the purchase is going to his wife.
Clutching a similar box in his fist, Jin is staring resolutely at the back of the man's head. For someone who announced a minute ago that this was totally cool, not gay at all, and would definitely set off a nationwide trend among guys, he is blushing way too hard.
"This is insane," Kame mutters, though he knows Jin is already aware of his thoughts on the matter. Unfortunately, his friend can be more stubborn than a herd of mules combined.
The salary man slinks away, and it's their turn. The cashier flashes them a practiced smile, not batting an eyelash at the contents of the box.
Then again, there's no way for her to know who they're buying it for.
"That will be 19,900 yen," she chirps, voice bare of any curiosity.
Kame shifts his duffel bag onto his other shoulder and tries to wrestle his wallet out of his too tight jeans pocket. Just when he has managed to pull it out and is about to flip it open to pay for his share, an elbow hits him hard in the side.
"I'm paying," Jin hisses, nearly dropping the bills in his haste to push them at the cashier.
For a second, Kame is confused, because as far as he can remember, they were going to split the costs evenly.
Then Jin flashes him a fake smile and exclaims in an equally fake cheerful voice: "Thanks for your help, man! Haruka-chan is going to love these! "
He should've known Jin would get cold feet after all.
"She'll be thrilled," Kame deadpans, and pockets his wallet.
While the cashier is wrapping the box in glittering foil and purple ribbon, he elbows Jin back and raises a single eyebrow.
Chicken, he mouths.
Jin glares. As soon as the cashier has finished, he swipes the neatly wrapped box off the counter and storms out of the shop, heading straight for the next side street. Kame follows him at what he considers a more inconspicuous pace.
Once they're out of sight, Jin turns around sharply. "I'm not chickening out!"
"Hmm," Kame says.
"And even if I was," Jin adds, clumsily tugging off the ribbon, "we've already bought them, so we might as well go through with it."
He is still blushing fiercely, but there is a determined edge to his voice that Kame knows only too well. It means Jin is about to jump, and he's going to take Kame down with him.
It's fortunate for them, and for KAT-TUN, that Kame has learned to dig in his heels.
"You just got flustered in front of a cashier who didn't even care," Kame says, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "What are you going to do if the papers misinterpret it? Because making up a girlfriend won't be an option then." Not unless they wanted to make headlines with a love triangle.
"I'll just tell them the truth," Jin says stubbornly, and begins to tear at the wrapping. There's glitter dusting all over his hands. "We were going to get bracelets, but you thought they were all fuck ugly, so we had no choice but to go for rings instead."
Kame narrows his eyes. "You do want me to wear mine, right?"
Jin snickers. "Calm down, I'll make it sound pretty." He takes a moment to flip the box open. "Dear sweet fangirls," he continues, voice pitched as high as the time he'd been dressed up as a nurse. "I present to you these rings as the token of mine and Kame's platonic but fanservice-heavy friendship. We could've bought bracelets like everybody else, but we think rings are cooler. Now shriek, please."
Kame snorts and looks down at the rings that gleam innocently in the afternoon sun. "They'll definitely scream their heads off when they see these."
"Yeah, and you'll enjoy every second of it."
"As if you won't."
Jin grins sheepishly, and Kame feels his resistance crumbling.
He takes a deep, calming breath. "Alright," he says, once again shoving his hand into his pocket in search of his wallet. It'd make things weird if he let Jin pay for him, like someone's girlfriend. "I give up. We'll do it."
Whooping gleefully, Jin snatches the smaller ring out of the box and grabs Kame's free hand with his glittery fingers.
"Oi!" Kame hisses, struggling against Jin's grip, because this definitely counts as making things weird, but Jin is stronger and Kame has trouble working his other hand back out of his jeans pocket.
While he's cursing himself for ever agreeing to this, he feels the ring being pushed onto his finger.
"Are you insane?" Kame jerks his hand away, and sends what he hopes is a death-inducing glare in Jin's direction. He can feel his cheeks flare in embarrassment. "What if someone got a picture of that?"
"Don't worry, I checked, there's no cameras around," Jin says happily, slipping the other ring over his finger. Like Kame's, somehow, it fits.
Kame groans. "I get it. You are insane. Why do I even put up with you?"
"Because I'm special?" Jin looks down at him with wide puppy eyes.
Kame flicks him in the forehead. "Don't bother, you know that doesn't work on me." Except it does, every single time. But he certainly isn't going to admit to that. "Let's get away from here. I want to have pasta one last time before our manager kills us."
He doesn't kill them. When they arrive, he is on the phone with the boss, holding pictures of them slurping Italian noodles, the pinky rings sparkling cheerfully in the electric candlelight.
Johnny laughs and orders them a raise.
3 ---
"Those rings are gayer than your next Shounen Club outfit," Pi says, weeks later, and takes a drag of the cigarette they're sharing. "Couldn't you have bought something less flashy? What's wrong with friendship bracelets?"
"You sound like my mom," Jin grumbles, leaning back against the door of the bathroom stall. "Admit it, you're just jealous I didn't get you one."
Pi chuckles and blows a lungful of smoke towards the ceiling. Not that anyone will care. Being the agency's only bathroom without a smoke detector, the place reeks of cigarettes already.
"Jin, I love you and all, but sharing rings? No way." Pi hands the rest of the cigarette to Jin, and fishes a box of mint drops out of his pocket. "I mean, I know management loves it, and the fans love it, hell, even that guy directing your new drama loves it, but… doesn't it feel weird?"
"No… -not really." Jin considers the rest of the cigarette. After a second, he throws it in the toilet bowl, unfinished. If he doesn't leave now, he'll be late for rehearsal, which means he'll suffer Kame's widely underestimated wrath, rings notwithstanding.
Pi snickers and throws him a mint. "Pussy-whipped."
Flipping him off, Jin reaches for the door handle. His ring clinks against the metal as he walks out of the stall.
Before the door can fall shut behind him, Pi pushes it open again.
"Hey," he says, voice soft. "He really is something special to you, isn't he?"
Jin stops in his tracks, reflexively rubbing his thumb over the thin band of silver around his finger. He thinks of the brilliant smile on Kame's face two days ago, right after they'd been told about Gokusen. The way his arms had wrapped around Jin's shoulders in a crushing embrace.
"Yeah," Jin finally says. "I guess he is."
4 ---
From the doorframe of Jin's apartment, Kame watches the last four letters of KAT-TUN walk down the hallway toward the elevator. Staggering drunkenly in his rock star boots, Ueda has one arm slung around an equally swaying Nakamaru, while his other arm clumsily swats at Taguchi, who is skipping down the hall like it isn't four in the morning. Koki trudges after them, turning around every few steps to wave Kame goodbye.
When the elevator doors slide shut behind them, Kame shuffles back into the apartment. It's dark, except for a dim light in the living room.
"Are they gone?" Jin slurs from where he is sprawled over his brand new couch. "They were taking so long, I thought I'd clean up a bit."
Kame looks down at the coffee table. The black wood is hardly visible beneath the chaos of beer bottles, glasses, spilled food, overflowing ashtrays and the handfuls of gummy bears Jin and Ueda kept throwing at each other until Kame had brought out Jin's guitar to divert their attention.
"If that's your definition of cleaning up, this place is going to mutate into a dump within weeks," Kame says, and begins to stack the shot glasses, ignoring the way his aim is slightly off. A few bottles of beer aren't going to keep him from annihilating this mess.
"Kaaame," Jin whines. "Do we really have to clean this up tonight? It's still my special day."
Kame throws a gummy bear at him. "It's your apartment's special day! We shouldn't let it fall asleep dirty on its first night with people inside!"
"My mum said she'd come over tomorrow to help me clean, anyway," Jin points out, popping the gummy bear into his mouth.
"Spoiled brat." Kame tries to get up without dropping all the glasses, but the floor seems somewhat tilted, and they begin to wobble dangerously. He quickly puts them down again.
"Kaaame," Jin drawls again. "Why can't we just do this tomorrow? You are staying the night, right?"
Kame shakes his head. "I was going to, but Ichihara-san mailed a couple of hours ago. Says I have to be at the agency at six for some urgent meeting."
"What?" Jin looks confused. "Hang on, isn't that in two hours?" Eyes wide, he sits up straight. "Did you do something stupid?"
Kame shrugs. "Not that I know of. I'll wait and see." Knowing the agency, it could be anything from a change of hairstyle to winning an Oscar to being suspended for illegal drinking, but if he freaked out about every unscheduled meeting in his life, he'd go into cardiac arrest before he hit thirty.
He is about to head for the kitchen to inspect the dishes when Jin makes a distressed sound, the way he always does when he's drunk too much and needs to run for the bathroom. Kame's head snaps around so fast his body has problems following through. He really doesn't want to have to deal with cleaning up after that.
But Jin doesn't look like he's in need of a bucket. Eyes downcast, he is curled up in the corner of the couch, fiddling with the ring on his finger.
"Hey," Kame says, and sits down onto the cushion next to him. Cleaning while tipsy is a bad idea, anyway."Really, it's going to be okay. I didn't do anything stupid for them to suspend me, I promise."
"I know you didn't," Jin says and lets himself flop down miserably onto Kame's lap. Alcohol tends to make him forget things like personal space.
"It's just this feeling I have…" he says, gazing miserably at his pinky ring."I've been thinking… things have been so good for all of us this year; I still can't believe it. The tour, and the drama, and now moving out… It's too many good things at once. I don't trust it and… I'm afraid." He looks up at Kame, drunkenly vulnerable. "I'm afraid they'll tear it all apart."
The thought of the agency crushing their dreams with the stroke of a pen makes Kame see red, and the vehemence in his own voice takes him by surprise. "I won't let them!" He looks down at Jin, whose eyes have widened at his sudden outburst. "I won't let them take you away from me."
For a second, Jin lies perfectly still, gazing up at Kame in something akin to wonder. Then he slowly pushes himself up with one arm until their faces are just inches apart. Kame can see the tiny threads of red in Jin's bloodshot eyes.
"When did you get so strong?" Jin murmurs, and his breath fans warmly over Kame's lips.
In the back of his mind, something's screaming at Kame to back away right now, but Jin's gaze is warm, so warm, and familiar and maybe, Kame thinks while he's forgetting to breathe, just maybe, they've been circling around this for a long, long time.
By the time Jin's eyelashes flutter shut before him, Kame has forgotten what they were talking about, and when Jin sways close to clumsily kiss him for the first time, it stops mattering altogether.
- -
One hour later, Kame gets up from the couch, draping a blanket over Jin's sleeping form before he leaves.
Two hours later, with his lips still flushed from their kisses, he sits in front of their manager and refuses to accept a spot in a drama that comes with a CD debut alongside Yamashita Tomohisa.
Four hours later, he leaves Johnny's office and makes it to the closest bathroom just in time before he breaks down and sobs like a child. When he buries his face in his shaking hands, his pinky finger is bare.
Ten hours later, Jin wakes up. His head hurts like someone's played a round of baseball with it, and a strong wave of nausea has him stumbling for the toilet. When his knees hit the tiled floor, he remembers.
Ten and a half hours later, Jin checks his emails. There's only one, and it consists of four words.
It was a mistake.
Two days and fifteen rejected calls later, Jin storms into their dressing room to make Kame explain, but stops short when his gaze drops to Kame's left hand. It's all the explanation he needs.
One year later, Jin tells a shell-shocked KAT-TUN that he's leaving them for good.
His ring lies buried in a bottom drawer.
5 ---
Stretched thin across an entire ocean, a thread that once hummed of fate is slowly unravelling, tugging weakly at two hearts that are broken.
Then New York happens in an austere meeting room, where it takes Kame just one heart-stopping glance at Jin to realize that he'll never be able to let go of this man, not completely.
"Welcome back," he says, shocking the rest of KAT-TUN into silence, and the careful smile he receives in response tells him they'll make it through this eventually.
Even if colleagues is all they're going to be from now on, Kame will put his all into it.
Around his wrist, under the leather bracelet he's worn for years, the thread begins to gleam a timid red once again.
6 ---
They've only made it through half the Hokkaido concerts, but Jin seriously doubts he can get up from the ratty dressing room couch again, let alone walk onstage and dance his way through today's evening show, or the two concerts tomorrow.
He's cold under a pile of blankets. It's getting hard to keep his eyes open, and he dizzily wonders what exactly the agency doctor put into the IV attached to his arm. He squints at the transparent bag dangling from the costume rack someone pushed next to the couch, but the liquid inside is clear, like water, and Jin is none the wiser. He should have asked the guy what was in there, he thinks, allowing his eyes to droop. Should have written it down because… allergies… and…
He jerks awake at a touch on his arm, stomach cramping in protest against the sudden movement.
"What…?"
"It's alright, Akanishi-san," a male voice says in a smooth, professional tone. The doctor, Jin realizes. "Just a small injection, then you can go back to sleep again."
Jin reluctantly relaxes. The tour manager made it clear that he's expected to continue performing until the agency considers him unable to do so. Given the fact they'd once made Kame limp back onstage, drugged to the brink with painkillers after a two meter fall, Jin doesn't think they'll let him miss the concert unless he starts vomiting blood.
The doctor is dabbing the back of Jin's hand with an alcohol swab when suddenly the door bangs open and Kame storms in. Jin raises a feeble hand to wave at him reassuringly, but his band mate doesn't even glance at him, crossing the room in furious strides and yanking the doctor away from Jin's side.
"OUT!" Kame yells, and he looks more furious than Jin has ever seen him.
Kame never, never raises his voice at people older than himself, and especially not agency employees.
Dumbfounded, Jin watches with wide eyes as the doctor stumbles backward, bowing and mumbling apologies. "I… your manager said he'd consented… it wasn't my decision to-"
"Shut up!" Kame hisses, using the harshest form of Japanese. "I thought we made it very, very clear: if you so much as go near him with that shit, you can pack your bags immediately and just get the hell out!"
The doctor's face goes white. "It's… we've used it many times in the past… it's never caused any long-lasting problems, and it'd ensure his performance is sufficiently energetic so that the fans-"
"Fuck the fans!" From the couch, Jin has a perfect view of Kame's hands bunching into fists, and the way his back ripples as he closes in on the doctor. "It's illegal, and it's fucking dangerous! I don't give a shit how many guys you've doped up with it - in this group, it won't be tolerated. It won't. Do you understand me?"
"Kamenashi-san, please. The agency will have both our heads if I don't-"
"Forget it!" Kame shoves the doctor out the door and into the adjoining room. "He'll do the concert, we agreed to that, he agreed to that, he will do the concert. He'll look pretty, he'll do some of his singing live, he'll move as much as he can without throwing up. That's it. They want anything more, they're welcome to try and get past me."
Jin didn't know Kame's voice could get so cold. It sends a shiver down his spine, and he burrows closer into the threadbare cushions of the couch. His head feels sluggish, like someone stuffed it with cotton balls, and his stomach cramps with a new wave of nausea.
He doesn't hear what else Kame says, but it seems to do the trick. A door slams shut, and for a moment, there's silence. Then something clicks, and the room goes dark except for the gleam of the emergency exit sign.
Jin feels the nausea subside a bit at the sudden lack of light, and he draws the blankets higher.
"Kamenashi?"
Familiar steps shuffle close, and the couch sags next to him as Kame says, "I'll stay here until we're due for the second round."
"Hmm." Jin can feel himself getting sleepy again. Must be the stuff in the IV kicking in. "How long?"
"Two hours. We're starting one hour later than planned, and Kisumai will do their songs before we go on stage, instead of in the second half."
Jin feels a lump form in his throat. "That's… good of them," he manages.
"I didn't give them much choice," Kame says, and Jin feels him shift on the couch. The next moment, there's a light touch over his hair. "Now stop thinking and rest."
Through the blankets, Jin can feel the heat of Kame's body, firm and reassuring. It feels… good, he thinks, and… familiar.
In the dark dressing room, hearing Kame's breath steady and calm beside him, his muddled brain recalls the last time they were sitting this close.
"Kame," he mumbles drowsily, half-asleep, and images of one night he'd vowed to forget and this one of Kame, shouting down a doctor, blur and overlap until Jin can't tell where one night ends and the other begins. "When… did you get so strong?"
He barely feels Kame go still beside him. Then nothing, and he's falling, drifting, dozing off, and then, just as he's slipping away into sleep, the back of someone's fingers stroke softly down his temple, and there's a whisper of… something. But what….?
- -
When Jin opens his eyes again, his stomach doesn't hurt quite as much anymore, and part of the nausea seems to have abated. The lights are back on and the rest of the band are quietly changing into their first layers of costumes. Kame is fluffing up his hair with the help of a small, handheld mirror. He is still sitting by Jin's side.
"I feel better," Jin rasps, and Kame looks up without pause. It takes effort, but Jin manages a lopsided smile. "So, no doctor anymore. You don't happen to know how to remove an IV?"
Kame snickers, and promptly messes up a lock of hair in the process. "No, but I do know someone who used to make a very fine nurse."
Jin chuckles, but stops when it sends a stab of pain through his stomach. While he's busy gritting his teeth, Taguchi announces that he'll go fetch someone from one of the medical teams on standby. Kame nods and is about to get up, but Jin reaches out and stops him.
"Did I…" He swallows, hesitating. "Before I fell asleep, did I… say anything weird?"
For a second, he sees something flash in Kame's eyes, but then Kame smiles smoothly and shakes his head, getting up. "Let me put it like this way: if you said anything, it didn't feel weird to me."
That's not what Jin was asking, but he isn't going to get any more out of man, because their tour manager chooses that moment to burst into the dressing room. They're due in fifteen minutes.
The announcement earns Jin several worried looks from the rest of his group, but he knows he can count on them to get him through this.
7 ---
Kame pushes open the door to the agency rooftop. One hand is already going for the pack cigarettes in his coat when he sees the lone figure, crouched low against the parapet, breathing wisps of smoke into the dark grey sky.
"Yo," he calls. Yamapi looks up in surprise as Kame walks over to him. "Okay if I join you?"
"No need to ask," Yamapi says lightly, and Kame leans against the fence circling the rooftop above the parapet. "Ultimate Wheels, right? Things not going to plan?"
"The usual," Kame says, nodding. He rummages around for his lighter and frowns when he remembers he'd leant it to Koki earlier. "But we'll have it under control by the first television appearance, I think." Something nudges at his hip. When he looks down, Yamapi is holding a lighter out to him. "Ah, thanks."
"No problem," Yamapi says. He pauses, flicking away the ash at the end of his cigarette, then sighs. "You're still having trouble, aren't you? Because of him."
Kame lights his cigarette, feeling his muscles relax at the first lungful of nicotine. "Not really," he says. He wouldn't call it trouble, not anymore. Back in the summer, it'd shaken them to the roots, to have Jin taken away after supporting his solo activities to the point of going on tour without him. In the immediate aftermath, no one had felt comfortable. And unlike last time, they couldn't blame Jin, who was feeling more miserable about the whole mess than any of them.
"Not really," Kame repeats, handing the lighter back to Yamapi. "But I guess we'll never stop missing him as part of the group."
Yamapi takes a deep drag, looking down at the steel-capped toes of his boots. After a moment, he blows a cloud of smoke down toward the concrete floor, and then he says quietly, "He misses being a part of the group too sometimes. When he hears a song on the radio, or he sees you on TV. Or after he comes home from one of your nights at Ueda's."
"I know," Kame says. "We all know. He slips up sometimes."
They're both silent for a while, smoking slowly while the agency bustles with activity below their feet. Then Yamapi drops his cigarette to the ground, and stamps it out. "He told me the three of you were coming to see him in Osaka this weekend: you, Ueda, and Nakamaru." Casually, he plucks the butt from the dirty floor and stashes it away in a portable ashtray. "But… grapevine has it you're not supposed to go at all."
Kame lets his head drop back against the fence. "The grapevine has it right; I'm still working on getting permission. I'll convince them eventually."
"Playing it by the book, I see," Pi says carefully, standing up. He steps away toward the door, but pauses halfway. "Sometimes I wonder --," he looks hesitant, "-- why you go through so much trouble for him. After all that… happened."
Kame smiles wistfully, and takes a last drag of his cigarette. "He's special, I guess."
He can't read the strange look Yamapi gives him, so he just waves and turns around to watch the city lights before him. When he hears the door fall shut, he takes out his phone, and sends Jin a quick email.
Looking forward to the concert. ^^v Make me proud to be your friend.
- -
After the concert, Kame, Nakamaru and Ueda are taken aside by a member of staff who leads them backstage to Jin's dressing room. One look at the chaos of make-up, clothes, brushes and lyric sheets spread all over the room and the three of them break into laughter. Jin hasn't changed at all.
After a few minutes, the door to the adjoining bathroom opens and Jin comes flying in, still dripping and wearing nothing but a towel knotted hastily around his hip.
"You came!" he shouts, grinning all over his face, and tackles Nakamaru and Ueda in a huge hug that gets them both wet. Amused, Kame watches Nakamaru splutter indignantly and Ueda just roll his eyes, clapping Jin on the back.
Then Jin whirls around, and his smile gains another few megawatts before Kame is wrapped in a damp pair of arms. "You came," Jin breathes giddily, and Kame can hear the adrenaline from the show in his voice. "Did I make you proud?"
Kame raises his arms to return the hug, squeezing affectionately. "You did," he says, and grins back.
He firmly ignores the way his heart beats faster.
8 ---
This far into the night, the dance floor is crowded, packed tight with sweaty bodies flopping to Gaga's latest; colorful liquid sloshing in too many glasses, spilling over shirts, leggings and boots, dripping onto the floor, where a staccato rhythm of high heels grinds it into a sticky layer of dirt.
Jin is slumped on his favorite couch, half-watching the crowd, half-listening to the drunken chatter of his friends. He was supposed to be way more buzzed at this point, but somehow, the right mood hasn't struck him yet. The pink champagne in his glass had stopped bubbling an hour ago.
Maybe he should just give up and call it a night.
Spinning a new beat, the DJ begins to dance wildly behind his turntables, and the people on the dance floor follow his lead, cheering. The crowd shifts, and for a moment, Jin can see right across to the bar by the entrance, where a man with a hat pulled low over his face is gesturing to the bartender.
Jin stills, staring, because through the multicolored beams of the party lights, the man looks a lot like Kame. Then the crowd surges again, and Jin's line of sight is blocked again once more. He blinks. He could've sworn…
Then he remembers where he is, and tries to recall the last time Kame set foot in a club, let alone this club. He comes up empty, of course he does, because Kame just… doesn't do things like that. Doesn't allow himself to do things like that.
Not to mention the agency would throw a fit if well-behaved, responsible Kamenashi Kazuya was caught sleazing in one of Akanishi Jin's favorite haunts.
Next to Jin, Pi breaks into raucous laughter, and promptly chokes on his drink. Jin turns his attention away from the crowd to clap his friend on the back.
"Thanks, man," Pi rasps, when he can breathe again, and then scoots away from Jin to steal Lizzy's drink. Rolling his eyes, Jin glances back towards the dance floor. And freezes.
Near the entrance to the VIP area, the man from earlier, now sans hat, is dancing enthusiastically to the blaring music, a purple drink in one hand. Raising his other hand into the air, he throws his head back, lets his eyes flutter close and his mouth fall open a bit while his hips sway in obvious invitation.
It's Kame.
And Jin's brain seems unable to process this bit of information, so he just keeps watching. He watches Kame's body move smoothly, seductively. Watches as a couple of models dancing near him go wide-eyed, and one of them begins to edge closer. Watches as Kame opens his eyes and looks her up and down, cocking his head. Jin swallows.
Then someone grips his shoulder, and a voice that sounds like Pi's says, "Oh god. I don't believe this." Jin doesn't believe it either.
For a few long seconds, they both stare at Kame, who is shaking his head at the model and stumbles a few steps back, spilling half of his drink.
"Is he drunk?" Pi breathes, and when Jin glances over at him, his friend seems just as shocked as he is to see Kame rolling his hips on the dance floor of their favorite club.
"We need to stop this," Pi says slowly, as Kame begins to eye another girl. But she doesn't seem to be aware of him, so he tries to weave his way through the people around her. The move brings him closer to where Jin and his friends are sitting, behind the barrier that divides the seats and tables from the rest of the club.
Maybe it's the diamonds on Ryo's watch that catch his eye, or maybe it's the combined weight of Jin's and Pi's incredulous stares - whatever it is, for a second, Kame stops short, squinting through the flashing strobe lights, letting his eyes sweep over the semi-darkness of the VIP section. Then recognition brightens his face, and he waves. Taking care to keep his head low and stick to the edges of the dance floor, he makes his way toward them, drink wobbling dangerously in his hand.
On the other side of their table, Ryo finally snaps to attention. Slowly setting his beer down, he watches Kame approach with a dumbfounded look on his face.
"Hi," Kame says cheerfully when he reaches them, and plops down in the small space left between Pi and Jin on the couch. Without further ado, he takes a long swig of his cocktail and leans back against the black leather, not bothering to keep his shoulder from brushing Jin's.
"Hi?" Jin manages weakly, edging back a bit because this is insane, surreal even, because he knows Kame and how he insists on being careful, on avoiding places like this to stop scandals before they can happen.
It seems Pi has recovered faster from the initial shock. "Kame-chan," he says carefully, like he is talking to a person smiling with a knife in their hand. "What are you doing here?"
Kame giggles.
On the other side of the table, Ryo looks like the world as he knew it has ended.
"Having a night out, what else?" Kame laughs, and gulps down the rest of his glass, swaying a bit as he puts it down on the table."Too sweet," he sighs, and then he flashes a bright smile straight at Lizzy.
"Hello darling," he slurs in heavily accented English, and winks at her. "Kazuya Kamenashi, nice to meet you. Wanna dance?"
While Lizzy stumbles over her self-introduction, Jin sits there, gaping, and Ryo's eyes seem on the verge of rolling back into his head. Granted, Ryo has had a lot to drink tonight.
Fortunately, Pi at least can keep his head through even the weirdest shit. Over the top of Kame's head, he gives Jin a look that screams Do something!
And Jin snaps out of it.
Grabbing Kame's wrist, he stands up. "Excuse us, guys."
He makes it to a darker, more secluded corner of the VIP-area in a matter of seconds, Kame stumbling clumsily after him, but Jin thinks he saw a mobile phone in the hands of a model they passed, and he knows they're probably being watched already by gossip-greedy eyes.
He can feel cold sweat forming between his shoulder blades as he frantically wonders how much it's going to cost the agency to silence this.
"Are you out of your mind?" he whispers, and moves in front of Kame, so he's blocking most of the view from the couches closest to them. "What do you think you're doing?"
Kame shrugs gracelessly, and leans his head against the wall. "I'm causing a scandal."
"Causing a… WHAT?" Jin stares at him, incredulous. "Are you joking?"
"Hmm." Kame twists a strand of hair around his finger and looks past Jin's shoulder. "I was thinking that blonde would work nicely, but you interrupted."
"I interrupted--?" Jin feels his voice sliding up an octave. "Are you high on something?" He leans closer to take a look at Kame's eyes.
"Nah," Kame says, swatting at Jin's chest. "Just a few drinks before I came here. Liquid courage, and more authentic that way." He scowls. "It's not supposed to look like it's deliberate; and you're ruining that now."
"Deliberate?" Jin manages, beginning to feel like a parrot. "Wait, someone actually put you up to this?"
"Of course." Kame rolls his eyes, giving Jin an exasperated look like he's the dumbest kid on the block. "New drama this winter. They did some… analysis, and apparently I've gotten boring. No scandals, too much baseball." He cocks his head, and scrunches up his eyebrows the way Jin remembers their manager doing, whenever he was trying to look grave. "Kamenashi, please go and get caught with a nice-looking lady. Preferably somewhere shadier than a restaurant, but less scandalous than in front of a hotel."
Jin blinks. "So you decided to come here?"
Kame waves his hand sloppily, gesturing in the direction of the dance floor. "I thought of the seediest places that still get celebrities in, and remembered how much you used to rave about this place. That's why I came." He looks back up at Jin, smiling tentatively, face flushed from the drinks he's downed. "It's insane, I know, but it's not like I have much choice. You know how it works. So…. will you let me go back to that blonde, please?"
Jin's brain promptly supplies him with the image of an intoxicated Kame grinding against Lizzy on the dance floor, and it sends a rush of jealousy stabbing through his chest.
The problem is, it's not Kame's place he wants to be in.
But he'd rather not analyze that, so he quickly presses on. "Listen Kame, I don't get it. You don't let the agency meddle in your private life," he says, because this is Kamenashi, who once dated a woman twenty years his senior and damned the consequences. "You never have. Why are you going along with this all of a sudden?"
Kame's face falls, and he begins to fiddle with the bracelets around his wrist.
"It wouldn't be the first time I let them meddle," he finally says, and when his eyes meet Jin's, they are dark and sad, like Jin should know what he's talking about, like… But then he closes them, slumping back against the wall, defeated. "That was a long time ago, it's not like it matters anymore. Forget I said anything."
And suddenly, Jin wonders.
About… that, back then.
He blinks. And wonders some more.
And, looking back now, really looking, without all the anger and bitterness that used to cloud his memory, really thinking about it while the music from the speakers blares around them… he sees.
What could have happened. Afterwards.
"That night…" he starts, voice thick, but finds himself unable to continue. He is afraid of the answer. He's afraid of what it might mean for all the things he's done.
Unbidden, his gaze drops down to the lush curve of Kame's lips, and his heart skips a beat. He tries to remember how they felt under his, long ago; warm maybe, soft. Welcoming.
He swallows, starts a second time."That night we…. When-"
"It doesn't matter," Kame repeats, refusing to meet Jin's eyes. He pushes himself away from the wall, swaying dangerously as he attempts to move past.
Without thinking, Jin grabs his wrist. "You're wrong," he says slowly. "It does matter."
For a moment, Kame goes perfectly still.
Then, slowly, painstakingly slowly, he raises his head until he is looking up at Jin, wide-eyed, searching. Jin doesn't dare move a single muscle, but in his chest, his heart is pumping to a frantic beat. He's vaguely aware that he's still holding Kame's hand.
Then Kame's chest rises with a slow intake of breath, his mouth falling open slightly, and there's something akin to wonder forming in his eyes. He takes a small step forward. Then another. A glance over Jin's shoulder, and he licks his lips, leaning in slightly. When his eyes meet Jin's again, they are warm, so warm, and bright with hope.
"So," he says, pulse racing beneath Jin's hand. "Will you be my scandal?"
"Nah," Jin breathes. "I'd rather take you home with me."
And he does.
- -
Two hours later, Jin watches Kame fall asleep beside him, praying to whatever god might be listening that Kame will remember this in the morning.
Five hours later, when the sun has barely risen, Jin is woken up by a warm pair of lips on his neck.
Ten hours later, Kame sits in front of his manager and refuses to explain the pictures of Jin holding his wrist. Instead, he tells the man to stop meddling in his private life.
Twelve hours later, he leaves Johnny's office with his head held high. Whatever the agency might have thought, he had grown stronger after all.
Thirteen hours later, way past noon, Jin wakes up sore but deliriously happy. There's an email in his inbox.
Made it out alive. Be back soon.
Love you,
Kazuya
One year later, on a rare day off between tour dates, single promotions, and filming schedules, they watch the sun set from a secluded beach in Okinawa, and Jin silently thanks his younger self for choosing the awkward boy who grew into the man beside him. He won't let go of him again.
Between their hands, an invisible red thread shines brightly, thrumming with fate.