art for art's sake
if you had asked me years ago what i thought of art and its role in changing societies, i would have given you this grandiose answer about how it invokes our spirit to take action against injustice or something like that. i would've told you that my "role" in the "movement" was to do my music so my people would be "motivated" to act. i would have been on some self-righteous i-know-more-than-you-cause-i'm-hiphop-and-i-rep-for-the-streets shit. i would have rejected being part of any organizing cause i already knew the truth. i would have chosen an open mic over an educational discussion, would have spent hours writing about a struggle i merely observed in my hood, instead of a struggle i learned about and analyzed and problem-solved collectively with others.
now, years later, i take all that shit back. i fully criticize myself, although i WILL say that that was a necessary part of my process. i needed it. HELLA needed it. all those fierce mc battles every week at foundation, and all that anger and bitterness i spewed monday nights at cafe luna sol... that shit was pretty damn liberating. and more importantly, it also made me feel like i needed to be doing more. it made me question. made me hungry. it ultimately led me to where i am now.
where challenging my own bullshit is a lifelong struggle. where i realize i can't do it alone. where collective growth is a must. where everything i once thought about art is thrown out the window. where the role of the artist is to be a general, not just a soldier. where dialectics is not some radical science, but a practical necessary way of thinking in order to ground one's self and facilitate REAL change.
it took me 3+ years of being in the bay area to realize that i was doing it all wrong. the first rule of dialectics is that "the internal is decisive." my practice was off cause my theory was off. my internal foundation was far from developed. so it was no surprise that "groups" i tried to start didn't really blossom into more than just titles.
it almost sounds corporate, but you need "buy-in" from everyone involved. buy-in creates enthusiasm, creates commitment. and the science of collectivism can't be overlooked. we need each other. to nurture, to challenge, to dialogue, to ally, to laugh, to take care of each other's kids, to get crunk with, to build. especially in the beginning, when the victories are few and far between. to get buy-in, the theory has to be GOT. the ideas have to be mass-lined so that everyone can develop, regardless of how uneven the development is. if not, then we end up with one or two people doing all the work, sound familiar?
so in a way, i'm stepping back from the practice and building my theory. with others, collectively. during this process, i've discovered so many things about myself, about my style of organizing, and how my personality helps or hinders that progress. i've had to check my own tendencies as a peti-bourgeous american-born english-speaking brown male. and especially, MOST especially, as an artist.
it's art, but it transcends art. it's bigger than art. the art makes the movement sexy, but it's the movement that gives the art breath.
exhale.
now, years later, i take all that shit back. i fully criticize myself, although i WILL say that that was a necessary part of my process. i needed it. HELLA needed it. all those fierce mc battles every week at foundation, and all that anger and bitterness i spewed monday nights at cafe luna sol... that shit was pretty damn liberating. and more importantly, it also made me feel like i needed to be doing more. it made me question. made me hungry. it ultimately led me to where i am now.
where challenging my own bullshit is a lifelong struggle. where i realize i can't do it alone. where collective growth is a must. where everything i once thought about art is thrown out the window. where the role of the artist is to be a general, not just a soldier. where dialectics is not some radical science, but a practical necessary way of thinking in order to ground one's self and facilitate REAL change.
it took me 3+ years of being in the bay area to realize that i was doing it all wrong. the first rule of dialectics is that "the internal is decisive." my practice was off cause my theory was off. my internal foundation was far from developed. so it was no surprise that "groups" i tried to start didn't really blossom into more than just titles.
it almost sounds corporate, but you need "buy-in" from everyone involved. buy-in creates enthusiasm, creates commitment. and the science of collectivism can't be overlooked. we need each other. to nurture, to challenge, to dialogue, to ally, to laugh, to take care of each other's kids, to get crunk with, to build. especially in the beginning, when the victories are few and far between. to get buy-in, the theory has to be GOT. the ideas have to be mass-lined so that everyone can develop, regardless of how uneven the development is. if not, then we end up with one or two people doing all the work, sound familiar?
so in a way, i'm stepping back from the practice and building my theory. with others, collectively. during this process, i've discovered so many things about myself, about my style of organizing, and how my personality helps or hinders that progress. i've had to check my own tendencies as a peti-bourgeous american-born english-speaking brown male. and especially, MOST especially, as an artist.
it's art, but it transcends art. it's bigger than art. the art makes the movement sexy, but it's the movement that gives the art breath.
exhale.