[Hanazakari no Kimitachi e] Fool's Paradise
Title: Fool's Paradise
Genre: General
Rating: PG
Pairing: Akiha x Umeda
Disclaimer: Very much not mine.
Summary: Eyes narrowing when the idiot hops off the chair he's been sitting in, he watches the idiot - there is no need for names when shallow graves are involved - trot over happily.
Notes: For ninjatrauma who requested Akiha/Umeda with the prompt 'Getaway'. More notes under the cut because I'm just all kinds of chatty tonight.
The aforementoned notes, a.k.a. The (not so) Untold Story:
Just so you know? After reading your comment my original idea was a crossover with YnM, KwG and Hanakimi where they all (by some magical, magical coincidence) happened to be at the same resort at the same time. And then Akiha would run into the Greenwood boys (also by magical, magical coincidence) and ask Mitsuru to pose for him, only Mitsuru would think he was just some dirty old man asking him to pose for...I don't know, gay pornographic reasons or something, and would be all 'omg, wtf?'. Shinobu (who would totally know who Akiha was) would be all 'nikoniko, okay!', thereby prompting Mitsuru to be all 'omg, you BASTARD!', because his boyfriend just sold him into gay porn slavery. Or something. And then Watari and Tatsumi would somehow (via magical, magical coincidence, no doubt) meet Akiha and Umeda, and Watari would so totally bond with Akiha and the two of them would be like GIRLS, chattering away while Tatsumi and Umeda watched in horror. The two of them would then be forced to band together out of the shared desire for mutual self-preservation.
The End.
Only...I realized there was no way I could ever, ever write that in a way that would actually work, so you get this instead. :3
When he comes to it's to find that he's bound hand and foot, and not anywhere vaguely recognizable.
And also? There's an idiot staring at him.
A big, so about to be dead idiot that starts beaming at him the moment he realizes Umeda's awake as though he sees nothing at all wrong with kidnapping people and dragging them off to who knows where.
Eyes narrowing when the idiot hops off the chair he's been sitting in, he watches the idiot - there is no need for names when shallow graves are involved - trot over happily.
"Sempai! I'm so glad you woke up! How was your nap?"
Teeth bared in what could only loosely be considered a smile, Umeda waves his bound hands at the idiot. "Untie me and find out."
The idiot's eyes go big and wounded, with a little bit of extra shininess, and he stops just out of arms reach. "I don't think that would be a good idea right now." He says, looking conflicted. "Your sister - "
"What?" It's a low hiss, and even though he knows she isn't there, she can't be, there's no overwhelming aura of evil, he can't help but search the room for her. The surprisingly well-appointed room with a scenic view. "My sister put you up to this?" He doesn't even need to ask which sister, because he knows there is only one truly capable of bending the weak-minded to her will so completely.
"Sempai, how could you?"
And now the eyes are wellsprings of sorrow leaking all over the damn place and he needs to make sure Mizuki stops infecting him and that he stops reading the books the other students leave behind because he almost, almost feels bad for the idiot. And is quite frankly terrified at the additions to his vocabulary, but that's something he never, ever intends to share with anyone. Ever.
"How could I what?" He asks, knowing he's going to regret it, because he's talking to the biggest idiot that ever existed.
The idiot sniffles loudly and looks up at him, all wounded eyes and tear tracks and...poofy-sleeved shirts, and wipes his face. "We had plans, remember? For our very own romantic weekend - "
He can't actually slap a hand over the idiot's mouth to stop the rest of the sentence from coming out, but what he can do is tackle him, so he does. It takes more effort than he'd like to think about, but he manages to get enough leverage to launch himself at the idiot, hitting him in the stomach and knocking the breath out of him when he brings him down.
"If you know what's good for you, you won't finish that sentence, understood?"
He's well aware of the fact that he's hardly the one with the upper hand at the moment, what with his being tied up, but he does have his knee in a vital and very much unprotected spot.
The idiot stares up at him wide-eyed and nods.
"Good. Now untie me."
Crawling out from under him, the idiot eyes him a little warily. "Are you mad at me?"
"What?"
"Are you mad at me?" The idiot repeats, head cocked to the side. "Because you were working so hard and everyone thought you could use a break and then your sister called me and I told her all about our plans for our romantic weekend..." The idiot catches himself in time and shuffles back a bit, once again just out of arm's reach. "Anyway, are you mad at me?"
Lying on his side in a luxuriously carpeted room with a gentle ocean breeze blowing in through the windows, it does seem a bit uncharitable to be mad in spite of the kidnapping and ropes. Even if the idiot is there too, with his idiot smile and idiot questions.
"...no."
The idiot perks up, and he can all but see where he went wrong in answering the way he did.
"Really? So it's safe for me to untie you? No pushing me off the balcony? No kicking me out of windows? Because we're a few stories up and it would hurt. A lot."
Eyes narrowing, he gives a reluctant nod and the idiot moves closer to undo the knots on the ropes binging his hands, massaging his wrists even though the ropes weren't really all that tight, chattering on the entire time about great beaches, the whole spa package, and dinner on the patio under the stars.
"Oh, and you need to see this!" The idiot practically chirps, pulling him to his feet and dragging him towards the balcony and out into the late afternoon sunlight and a breathtaking view of the ocean that goes on and on and on, a vast exspanse of unending blue. "Isn't it great?" The idiot asks, drawing his attention, and what he sees reflected in the idiot's eyes makes him stop and stare.
Sighing inwardly, he decides that if it's a tossup between the nagging headache he's had all week and the nagging headache giving him such a hopeful look, there's really only one option left open to him.
"Are you going to untie my legs, or are you just going to gawk at the view all day?"
The idiot's smile gets bigger and even though he sees it coming, there's no way to prepare for it when the idiot pounces on him, laughing happily and knocking the breath from both their lungs when they hit the floor this time around.
Genre: General
Rating: PG
Pairing: Akiha x Umeda
Disclaimer: Very much not mine.
Summary: Eyes narrowing when the idiot hops off the chair he's been sitting in, he watches the idiot - there is no need for names when shallow graves are involved - trot over happily.
Notes: For ninjatrauma who requested Akiha/Umeda with the prompt 'Getaway'. More notes under the cut because I'm just all kinds of chatty tonight.
The aforementoned notes, a.k.a. The (not so) Untold Story:
Just so you know? After reading your comment my original idea was a crossover with YnM, KwG and Hanakimi where they all (by some magical, magical coincidence) happened to be at the same resort at the same time. And then Akiha would run into the Greenwood boys (also by magical, magical coincidence) and ask Mitsuru to pose for him, only Mitsuru would think he was just some dirty old man asking him to pose for...I don't know, gay pornographic reasons or something, and would be all 'omg, wtf?'. Shinobu (who would totally know who Akiha was) would be all 'nikoniko, okay!', thereby prompting Mitsuru to be all 'omg, you BASTARD!', because his boyfriend just sold him into gay porn slavery. Or something. And then Watari and Tatsumi would somehow (via magical, magical coincidence, no doubt) meet Akiha and Umeda, and Watari would so totally bond with Akiha and the two of them would be like GIRLS, chattering away while Tatsumi and Umeda watched in horror. The two of them would then be forced to band together out of the shared desire for mutual self-preservation.
The End.
Only...I realized there was no way I could ever, ever write that in a way that would actually work, so you get this instead. :3
When he comes to it's to find that he's bound hand and foot, and not anywhere vaguely recognizable.
And also? There's an idiot staring at him.
A big, so about to be dead idiot that starts beaming at him the moment he realizes Umeda's awake as though he sees nothing at all wrong with kidnapping people and dragging them off to who knows where.
Eyes narrowing when the idiot hops off the chair he's been sitting in, he watches the idiot - there is no need for names when shallow graves are involved - trot over happily.
"Sempai! I'm so glad you woke up! How was your nap?"
Teeth bared in what could only loosely be considered a smile, Umeda waves his bound hands at the idiot. "Untie me and find out."
The idiot's eyes go big and wounded, with a little bit of extra shininess, and he stops just out of arms reach. "I don't think that would be a good idea right now." He says, looking conflicted. "Your sister - "
"What?" It's a low hiss, and even though he knows she isn't there, she can't be, there's no overwhelming aura of evil, he can't help but search the room for her. The surprisingly well-appointed room with a scenic view. "My sister put you up to this?" He doesn't even need to ask which sister, because he knows there is only one truly capable of bending the weak-minded to her will so completely.
"Sempai, how could you?"
And now the eyes are wellsprings of sorrow leaking all over the damn place and he needs to make sure Mizuki stops infecting him and that he stops reading the books the other students leave behind because he almost, almost feels bad for the idiot. And is quite frankly terrified at the additions to his vocabulary, but that's something he never, ever intends to share with anyone. Ever.
"How could I what?" He asks, knowing he's going to regret it, because he's talking to the biggest idiot that ever existed.
The idiot sniffles loudly and looks up at him, all wounded eyes and tear tracks and...poofy-sleeved shirts, and wipes his face. "We had plans, remember? For our very own romantic weekend - "
He can't actually slap a hand over the idiot's mouth to stop the rest of the sentence from coming out, but what he can do is tackle him, so he does. It takes more effort than he'd like to think about, but he manages to get enough leverage to launch himself at the idiot, hitting him in the stomach and knocking the breath out of him when he brings him down.
"If you know what's good for you, you won't finish that sentence, understood?"
He's well aware of the fact that he's hardly the one with the upper hand at the moment, what with his being tied up, but he does have his knee in a vital and very much unprotected spot.
The idiot stares up at him wide-eyed and nods.
"Good. Now untie me."
Crawling out from under him, the idiot eyes him a little warily. "Are you mad at me?"
"What?"
"Are you mad at me?" The idiot repeats, head cocked to the side. "Because you were working so hard and everyone thought you could use a break and then your sister called me and I told her all about our plans for our romantic weekend..." The idiot catches himself in time and shuffles back a bit, once again just out of arm's reach. "Anyway, are you mad at me?"
Lying on his side in a luxuriously carpeted room with a gentle ocean breeze blowing in through the windows, it does seem a bit uncharitable to be mad in spite of the kidnapping and ropes. Even if the idiot is there too, with his idiot smile and idiot questions.
"...no."
The idiot perks up, and he can all but see where he went wrong in answering the way he did.
"Really? So it's safe for me to untie you? No pushing me off the balcony? No kicking me out of windows? Because we're a few stories up and it would hurt. A lot."
Eyes narrowing, he gives a reluctant nod and the idiot moves closer to undo the knots on the ropes binging his hands, massaging his wrists even though the ropes weren't really all that tight, chattering on the entire time about great beaches, the whole spa package, and dinner on the patio under the stars.
"Oh, and you need to see this!" The idiot practically chirps, pulling him to his feet and dragging him towards the balcony and out into the late afternoon sunlight and a breathtaking view of the ocean that goes on and on and on, a vast exspanse of unending blue. "Isn't it great?" The idiot asks, drawing his attention, and what he sees reflected in the idiot's eyes makes him stop and stare.
Sighing inwardly, he decides that if it's a tossup between the nagging headache he's had all week and the nagging headache giving him such a hopeful look, there's really only one option left open to him.
"Are you going to untie my legs, or are you just going to gawk at the view all day?"
The idiot's smile gets bigger and even though he sees it coming, there's no way to prepare for it when the idiot pounces on him, laughing happily and knocking the breath from both their lungs when they hit the floor this time around.