Comments | kitfallen: Unfinished HP Drabbles

kitfallen

Unfinished HP Drabbles

Mar 07, 2009 00:48

Title: Yes, You-You Are a Fag
Genre: Harry Potter, Marauder-Era
Rating: PG14
Main Character: Sirius Black
Pairings: L/J, R/S, possible others
Summary: Sirius spends a bit too much time thinking--which everyone knows is unhealthy for handsome bastards like Sirius.

( …Surely if one were a homosexual, they could tell, right? )

hp: marauders, hp: siriuscentric, hp: au, fanfic, hp: remuscentric, fic: drabbles, hp: remus/sirius, fanfic: harry potter

Comments 6

spacefragments March 7 2009, 14:54:17 UTC

i liked the second one! even if it's unfinished. it *is* finished, in a way. a... suspenseful way. yeah.

and hope you don't mind me saying this, but i found the random bold bits of dialogue distracting and a bit off-putting. the two fragments at the beginning of each section are fine, but the rest just look weird. you can just change the dialogue a bit so that's it's not a direct quote anymore or just add a note at the beginning or end that says that you used fragments of text from the original book. that should be more than enough, i think.

kitfallen March 8 2009, 06:57:05 UTC

They're sort of finished in a unfinished way, lol.

I know it's impossibly distracting.. I kept trying to figure out better ways to do it--for a while I had it all in italics, but that was annoying..

MLA citations have ruined me in the way that I just can't copy something without somehow marking what is mine and what's not mine. I started the fic with not labeling anything, and it was driving me absolutely mad. It's all rather pathetic, really.

rhye March 7 2009, 18:10:42 UTC

What nk_aoede said, all of it. That is actually quite a brilliant plot device. It sort of is finished. Certainly the readers' minds can take it from there, and sometimes the best stories are the ones that make the readers' minds take over and be an active part of the storytelling. If you finished with a note of more finality, maybe even just a sentence about how Dumbledore lifted his wand or something, it would be a great jumping off point for readers' imaginations. But I also found that the bold text very distracting. I'd just drop it entirely and say you used pieces of book dialogue in the beginning and be done with it. Your story is clearly unique and not stealing from the book.

Also, Fred and George *shakes head in disappointment*

But I really did enjoy it quite a bit!

kitfallen March 8 2009, 07:02:58 UTC

*shrugs and points to her reply above* I enjoy figuring out the little details that, if changed, can lead to dramatically different events. I mean, that 'crazy urge' is in the text, but Harry just never acts on it--he could have, but didn't.

I probably should have ended with something more final, but I just couldn't bring myself to write another word. I tried a few more sentences, but nothing fit, so I just left it as it is.

I totally blame my English teacher for my inability to copy word for word without marking it, somehow, that it's not mine. It was less distracting when it was in italics, but that didn't fit so well with my style of writing.

*grins at the twins* I added that scene on a whim and fell in utter love with it. My favorite part of the fic, if you ask me.

vanishing_cake March 11 2009, 02:26:24 UTC

You are a horrible, horrible person. *brandishes nearest blunt object threateningly* You KNOW I hate it when you don't finish the scene, the sentence, but not finishing the word? Don't expect me to shut up about it, you probably do it just to annoy me.

Is your car fixed? I, er, may have let slip in my joy you might be coming to visit, and some of our hall-mates are really excited.

kitfallen March 12 2009, 18:22:41 UTC

XDDDD
I might have left it unfinished just to annoy you. :3

My car's running awesomely. All plans are in motion and everything's ready and set!