tying the knot (2/2) [arashi rps]
tying the knot [2/2]
Jun/Nino | 嵐 RPS | R | ~14,000 words
Part 1
Vancouver was warmer than Toronto, and between the mountains and ocean, felt somewhat less alien. Even just putting sheer physical distance between the events of the past day made Jun feel somehow refreshed as they got off the plane.
They could hear the noise of a waiting crowd as they are going through security, and Jun couldn't help but feel excited. This was the best part of the tour, in some ways - knowing that there were people who were waiting for them, who had been waiting to see them.
As they stepped out of arrivals, however, the welcome wasn't exactly as he had been anticipating.
First of all, the crowd was huge, and it looked like the security staff are struggling to set up extra barriers and keep the crowd back. Even in Toronto, not even half this number had come out - there were reporters, too, lots of them, and Jun had a sinking feeling that they weren't just here to report on the concert tour.
The mood of the crowd was distinctly mixed. He could see uchiwa and signs, and heard the roar and high-pitched screams of waiting fans - but there were faces that were staring, glaring, yelling in what did not look like a happy manner.
Their manager herded them together, three beefy security guys descending to surround them. "Stay together and move quickly. We weren't expecting this," he glanced over his shoulder at the crowds, "We'll just get out quickly."
Jun kept close to the others, feeling Aiba grip his elbow as loud boos started to echo from the crowd. He craned his neck to find where they were coming from, and saw a large group of people with rainbow flags, standing under a banner that he couldn't read.
Two men kissed pointedly as they walked by. One of them was holding a sign that said OUR LOVE IS NOT A JOKE.
"I didn't realize…" Aiba's voice was thick with anxiety - guilt - all of the things that were also welling up in Jun. He hadn't realized how used he was to being treated like gold everywhere he went. He could hear fans cheering, but the jeers and yells of the protesters were louder, and the five of them were doing nothing but slinking away. It made him feel sick to his stomach.
After what seemed like hours, they made it out of a side door and piled into a van. No one talked for a minute.
Sho spoke up first, his voice shaky, "What the hell was that?"
Their manager collapsed into the front seat, looking exhausted. "Protesters - security said it was the Vancouver Rainbow Coalition, a gay-rights group. Maybe some other groups, too."
"But why -" Jun remembered the sign. "People are that angry?"
Their manager shrugged. "Gay marriage is legal in Canada, but it didn't happen without a fight. People get pretty touchy when you come in and step on their values."
"I get that, but - " Jun felt frustrated, "We didn't mean for this to happen."
"Maybe we should make a statement," Ohno said quietly.
"No statements," says their manager quickly, a kneejerk Johnny's reaction.
"It might make things better -"
"I know," their manager said. "It might make them worse, too. Maybe the media are all over this right now, but give it two days, and everyone will realize that it's not a big deal. Anyways, these are orders from the top. Wait it out, let things settle down."
Luckily, there were no protestors waiting at their hotel, and after unloading their luggage and changing, they piled back into the van to go to the sushi restaurant along the harbor that Sho had promised to show them.
The fish was delicious and unbelievably fresh, but Jun couldn't get his mind off the scene at the airport. He didn't seem to be the only one, either; all five were unusually subdued.
Aiba was staring morosely into his beer, Ohno scratching the long grains of the wooden table with a fingernail, Nino pushing around stray grains of rice into designs on his plate, and Sho eating with forced gusto, as if he expected food to heal the whole situation.
"Maybe you should say something during the MC," Aiba said suddenly, once their manager has left the table to take a phone call and it was just the five of them.
"Aiba," Sho sighed. "They said we're not talking about it."
"What are they going to do, cut off the mics?" Aiba argued. "Besides - like this - isn't it worse? We just look like puppets. I know it wasn't our fault, but isn't it our responsibility, too? We should say what we think," he finished, voice slightly unsteady. "I hate it like this."
"What could we even say?" Nino pointed out. "We thought it was a stupid joke, too. If they're saying that we were treating it like a joke - they're right."
"Then we should apologize."
They sat in silence for a minute.
"Nino, Jun-kun," Ohno spoke up. "This is about you two more than anyone else. What do you think?"
Jun wanted so badly to say something; he was sure that they could fix things. About to speak, he caught Nino's eye. Nino looks wary, somehow - almost fearful.
"Let's not say anything yet. We don't know what's going to happen in the next day or so. We should focus on doing our best in rehearsals."
"That's that, then," Ohno said, voice turning quieter as their manager approached again.
"Well, we've got a bit more trouble," their manager said, reaching for his beer. He looked harried. "That was the producer for VS Arashi. Two of the Canadian celebrities that signed on to appear in the taping tomorrow have cancelled."
"Cancelled?" It had been Jun's idea to have them try to tape a full VS Arashi episode in Vancouver, with Canadian guests and audience. It had been a huge expense to send over all of the equipment and sets needed, but there had been a great response, and they had all been really looking forward to it.
"Is it because of…" Sho fumbled for words, and eventually just gestured around at Nino, Jun, and the whole situation.
"I'm afraid so." Their manager was glumly typing out a text. "Not surprising, I guess. I'm going to go meet with the producer now - the van will take you over to the stadium for rehearsals when you're finished." He drained the rest of his beer and stood up, leaving the five of them alone again.
"We need to remember," Sho said after a moment, breaking the silence, "People may not understand here, but it's going to be fine when we go back. This isn't going to last. It's not great, but -"
"We can't just leave it like this," Aiba protested. "It's not right. It's not who we are."
Nino stood up, pushing his chair in. "Going to the bathroom," he muttered, squeezing past them out of their corner table.
Jun watched him go. Nino might act like it's all a joke,, Ohno had said, but that doesn't mean he doesn't take things seriously.
Before he'd even realized what he's doing, he was out of his chair and walking after Nino, not even looking back at the others.
The washroom was small and dimly lit, just two stalls and a large window leaking in pale winter sunlight. Nino was sitting on the windowsill, legs tucked up on the broad ledge. He was rolling a cigarette between his fingers, but it wasn't lit, and it seemed more like a nervous fidget than real intent.
"You can't smoke in here," Jun said automatically. Actually, it didn't seem like there were many places in Vancouver where you could smoke. At least it wasn't as cold as Toronto had been.
"I know that," Nino said gruffly, tucking the cigarette back into a pack he produced from his pocket.
Having followed him in here, Jun wasn't sure exactly what he wanted to say. He was aware of how ridiculous they looked - one standing uncertainly in the doorway of the bathroom, the other perched on the window like a large bird.
"We can say something if you want," Jun said. "If you want this to stop. But it's up to you."
Nino fixed Jun with a particularly sharp look. "Why is it up to me?"
"Because -" Jun wished he had a better idea of what Ohno had meant. He felt like he was treating Nino like a fragile egg, with no idea of what come out if he let it crack. "I don't know what you think about all this."
Nino snorted. "It's just a pain, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but - oh, forget it." There was no reason in trying to protect Nino's feelings when he wasn't sure exactly what they were, or if they even existed at all. They were getting nowhere with this.
"What about you?" Nino asked, swiveling on the window ledge to face Jun. There was an intensity to his gaze that was a little unnerving. "The other night, when you were creeping on me - what were you thinking about?"
Jun hesitated, but this wasn't Nino bantering. Nino wanted the truth, and that was probably the only thing that would get him anything honest out of Nino in return.
"It's a pain, but - just for a moment, I thought," He moved over to the sinks, pretending to check his reflection. He couldn't look at Nino. "If it was real, it would…it would be okay."
The silence that followed was unbearably heavy.
"It's not for real, Jun-kun." Nino's voice was gentle, but cautious - and closer.
Jun turned to find that Nino had left the ledge, and was leaning against the sink next to him. His expression was hard to read - Nino could close off his feeling like a door. Jun had often wished he could do the same.
"I know," Jun said, willing his voice to sound flippant. "Good thing, too."
Nino smiled at that. Then he leaned over, and Jun only had a brief second to panic before Nino kissed his cheek gently.
"Good thing," Nino agreed, moving towards the doorway. "We would fuck things up pretty badly."
Jun stared at him as he left, wondering (not for the first time in his life) exactly how the hell Nino's mind worked.
+
Rehearsal went smoothly, and it was an unimaginable relief to be able to immerse himself in the million little details that needed to be woven together to create their concert. He could forget everything else and just do what he did best.
Despite everything that had happened, Jun could feel the rising excitement among everyone for the concert. This was the final, and the largest concert so far.
He was feeling much more upbeat by the time they reached the hotel after rehearsal. He had stayed at the venue for about an hour after the others, going over transitions for their solos, making sure everyone was on the same page.
He was heading to his room to go change before meeting some of the staff for drinks when the door next to his clicked open, and Sho's head poked out.
"Are you free for a moment?" Sho asked. He moved out into the hallway, barefoot and holding his laptop almost protectively to his chest. "There's something you should see."
"Sure, come in." Jun unlocked his door, gesturing for Sho to go in ahead of him. Sho padded in and set the laptop on the large desk, motioning for Jun to sit down and read.
Jun sat in the chair, squinting at the bright screen. It was an article from a tabloid, and he scrolled down, feeling anxious.
MATSUMOTO JUN IS A WELL-KNOWN HEARTTHROB WHOSE GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM ARE SURE TO ENSNARE MANY LADIES.
HOWEVER, STRANGELY ENOUGH, HE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SUBJECT OF MORE THAN UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMOUR ABOUT HIS CONNECTIONS TO -
"When do tabloids ever deal in substantive rumour?" Jun asked dryly.
"Keep reading," Sho insisted.
IS HE REALLY THAT DISCREET? OR DOES HE HAVE A DEEPER SECRET?
A RELIABLE SOURCE IN JOHNNY'S MANAGEMENT TELLS US THAT THESE MARRIAGE HIJINKS ARE ACTUALLY MORE COMPLICATED THAN ONE MIGHT EXPECT.
"ALTHOUGH THE MARRIAGE ITSELF IS FAKE, IT WAS PLANNED TO TEST THE PUBLIC REACTION TO A JOHNNY'S IDOL INVOLVED IN AN OPEN GAY RELATIONSHIP," SAYS A COMPANY INSIDER. "BY TESTING THE EFFECT ON FANS REACTIONS AND ECONOMIC IMPACTS, JOHNNY CAN DECIDE WHETHER IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A 'GAY IDOL' TO SURVIVE AND SUCCEED."
IS THIS THE CHANCE FOR MATSUMOTO TO FINALLY COME OUT AND SHOW HIS TRUE SELF? AND WILL HIS FANS SUPPORT HIM?
Jun sat back. "Well," he says. "Uh."
"It's garbage, I know." Sho said quickly. "They'll just say anything they want without thinking. I just - I thought it was better if I showed you, instead of -" he swept his hands uselessly, and Jun realizes that Sho knew. He had probably known for a long time.
"Thank you," he said quietly.
"It's fine, you know," Sho put his hand on Jun's shoulder awkwardly. "You don't have to be sorry for anything that has happened, or for what anyone thinks."
There was a grain of truth in the whole skewed mess of gossip, but it was not one that he could ever acknowledge. Would people believe it? Suddenly, the idea of standing on stage tomorrow night made his stomach drop unexpectedly.
Sho picked up his laptop, shutting it. "I wanted you to see it, but I think you shouldn't care about it." He headed towards the door. "In the end, it's just us. We get to decide who we are."
Yes, Jun thought, as Sho shut the door behind him, but what if we aren't sure?
+
The concert was great. Better than great - it was amazing. All of the uneasiness that Jun felt melted away to the cheers of the crowd. At least that, Jun thought to himself as he contentedly scrubbed himself in the shower, the roar of the audience's cheers still echoing in his ears. At least concerts didn't change. He was truly grateful that hadn't been touched.
It was an early start the next morning for the VS Arashi taping, but all of the members ended up drifting naturally towards Ohno's hotel room. They ended up in warm, heavy sprawls across beds and the floor, heads still fuzzy with cheers and mildly drunk on both alcohol and happiness, talking about everything and nothing in particular.
Jun felt relaxed and boneless, hot from head to toe. There was a certain magic to concerts, and it's hard to come down from it. It was easier like this; still the five of them. It was sometimes too lonely when it was just himself.
"Hey!" Aiba stared at his phone, his eyes wide. He passed it over to Sho, who reads for a moment, than whistled low under his breath.
"What is it?" Nino asked testily, from where he was stretched on the bed, with a lapful of sleepy Ohno.
Sho looked up hesitantly. "You know Ohiru Tezuka, right?"
"That actor who's in all of the instant coffee commercials?" Jun said. "Yeah. Never met him, but - "
"He wrote a blog entry," Aiba blurted out. "About you guys." He thrust his phone towards Jun.
With a rising feeling of dread, Jun began to read out loud.
Lately, many people have been talking about silly things.
Matsumoto Jun and Ninomiya Kazunari are very famous idols. They are very close. I have worked with both of them, and they are very kind, talented, and humble men.
I have a lot of respect for them. Although I don't know them privately, I can imagine that they are telling the truth that this marriage was just a mistake. I don't see why they would lie. It's only the media that is twisting everything into lies.
It makes me angry to see reasonable people making bigoted and crazy statements.
Even if they had married for real, what's wrong with that? If they wanted to enter Japan as a married couple, shouldn't we recognize and respect them?
I have always kept quiet about my private life, but I can't keep quiet in the face of such things.
I am a gay man.
I live in a country that won't allow me to marry. Although there are many people braver than me who will fight for this, I have stayed quiet. Although Ninomiya and Matsumoto may not be married for real, their 'marriage' is making us all think about this.
Is it really okay to treat people differently? Aren't all people in love the same? I hope that people can consider this carefully.
Jun handed the phone back to Aiba, who wouldn't meet his eyes. Sho was typing furiously on his own phone, the soft tap of his fingertips the only sound in the room.
"Over a million views so far," Sho said after a minute. "And most of the major media networks have already picked up on it."
"I don't see what's wrong," Ohno spoke up, from where he had his head pillowed in Nino's lap, conveniently propping up Nino's DS for him.
"It's turning them into a symbol, that's what," Sho said. "People are using this case to call on the government to legalize gay unions. The issue is getting bigger than anyone expected."
"So we stay quiet," Jun said dismissively. "It will blow over. We don't have to do anything about it."
"But -" Aiba said suddenly, his face turning red. "What if you did something? This could be a chance to - to change a lot, Nino, you could -"
"Aiba, shut up," said Nino sharply, but it's too late. Sho swiveled towards Nino, eyes widening.
"I didn't mean - " Sho began, but Nino cut off his apology.
"It's fine. I don't care about any of this."
"It's not okay, though," Aiba persisted, meek but determined. "They're right, you know. Why shouldn't you have a chance at a normal life?"
"We're idols," Nino reminded him unnecessarily. "None of us have normal lives." He turns his gaze back to his DS.
The room was quiet again, and Jun tried to clear the haze of shock from his mind. Had he just heard that right? Nino was -
Nino was gay.
"I'm going to get some whiskey I bought." He got to his feet, suppressing the urge of run out of the room. "Be back in a bit."
Jun's own room was just down the hall, and he stood inside in the dark for a minute, just staring ahead. His mind was whirling too fast for thoughts to do more than bubble briefly to the surface before submerging again.
Nino was gay. Like Jun, he was - and they were married.
Jun wanted to hit something very badly. If this came out at all - if the media found out - they would really have a field day with it. It wouldn't, of course - no one would say anything, even if Aiba seemed hell-bent on turning them all into gay rights champions.
Maybe it was selfish of Jun, but he didn't care about any of that. He just wanted to slink quietly back into the shadows again.
How many times over the years had he had stupid daydreams about finding out another member was gay? Not even that about love or sex, but just - having someone to understand what that meant. Not being alone.
Jun wasn't alone now, but he felt more lost than ever.
"Need some help?" Nino was in his doorway, his slight frame a shadow against the light of the hallway.
"I'm fine," Jun said, reaching for the light switch, but Nino got there first. "Just - just had a bit too much to drink."
Nino's smile was gentle. "I didn't mean to shock you."
"I didn't know," The words sounded awkward and ridiculous, but they had to be said. "That you were gay - I didn't know."
Nino's expression didn't flicker. "Well, now you do. Does it make a difference?" His tone was more curious that defensive.
"Did you know - about me?" Jun felt a tug inside him, like he should turn around and leave right now before things got too dangerous. Before they get in too deep to pull back.
Nino's mouth twisted apologetically. "Yes. Or - " he moved towards Jun, and Jun had to will himself to stand still. "I guessed, anyways."
"Oh." Jun paused a minute to take that in. "Did you - how did you -?"
"J., really." Nino's voice was amused. "You spent about two years looking at Sho like you could take his pants off with your mind if you focused hard enough. It wasn't hard to figure out."
"But you never said anything," Jun said. He feels strangely angry.
Nino stared at him calmly, just a step away.
"Like I said," he said slowly. "Does it make a difference?"
Jun swallowed, feeling the edge of a precipice under his words. "It does."
Nino was too close, he realized belatedly, and this was going too far.
"Then, Jun-kun," Nino reached out a hand, tucking Jun's hair back behind his ear. "I won't feel bad about this."
Jun had no idea how to respond to that. Luckily, he didn't even have time to before Nino gripped his shoulder, and he kissed Jun.
It wasn't soft at all. Nino was shorter than Jun, and he was nearly on his toes, but he was kissing roughly, nipping at Jun's bottom lip with his teeth, then soothing over the bites with his tongue.
God, but it was good. Jun dragged Nino closer, using his height to control the kiss, coaxing Nino's mouth open wider, until their tongues slid hotly against each other.
Nino made a sound that sounded like a whimper into Jun's mouth, and suddenly, it wasn't enough, just Nino pressed up against him, skin hot at every touch. Jun dropped to his knees, fingers tucking into the waist band of Nino's sweats.
"Jun-kun," Nino breathed, both a plea and a warning.
Jun tugged down Nino's sweats to his knees, running his hands back up Nino's thighs. "You said it yourself," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "We'd fuck things up pretty badly."
Nino grunted in agreement, fingers curling around Jun's neck. "Might as well get started on that," he managed, as Jun leant down to breathe against the thin fabric of his underwear.
+
Their flight to Ottawa was two hours later than the others' flight back to Tokyo, so they were able to see them off. Jun went up to the observation deck to take pictures of their place ascending for Sho.
He felt envious of them as he watched the plane gain speed, rising quickly above all of the mess of the past few days. He knew that wasn't necessarily true; the others would have to deal with annoying questions and stupid jokes in Japan, too - but at least they got to go home.
Nino was cranky the whole flight back to Ottawa, and they both eventually just stuck their earbuds in and ignored each other. Jun tried to nap, but he kept getting caught up in his thoughts, unable to drift off.
The night before last seemed as far away as a dream now. Jun kept second-guessing if it had really happened. He had sucked Nino off right there on the floor, and then Nino had dragged him onto one of the beds and they had made out for a bit - and then they had gone back to Ohno's room; Jun with whiskey in hand, praying that his ears weren't as red they felt.
No one had said anything - in retrospect, Jun realized, they hadn't joked about it because they might have suspected why Nino had gone after Jun. That was almost worse. It had been hard enough to look anyone in the eye during filming the next day as it was.
At least that had gone well enough; one of the replacement guests that had joined turned out to be a famous gay comedian, who was barely taller than Ohno. His only remark about their wedding had been that their tuxedos had been hideous, which made everyone laugh, and lightened the whole atmosphere considerably. There had been no protestors at the airport this time, Jun had noticed. Maybe things were finally calming down. Two days in Ottawa for the settlement conference, and then it would be over.
Or rather - they wouldn't be married anymore. Jun couldn't say what would happen next. He had wanted Nino last night - yes, he had been frustrated and horny, and the whole situation was just doing weird things to his mind - but he couldn't deny that there was something about the way Nino watched him, the way he smiled at him…
"This is so fucked up," Jun muttered under his breath, eyeing the hard plastic pull-down tray and wondering how much it would hurt if he smacked his head on it. He had no intention of talking to Nino about his feelings, but - if they ended up alone again, if there was another chance…
Jun couldn't see himself saying no to that.
+
A few hours after landing, they had an appointment with Katsushima, the lawyer they had met back in Toronto earlier in the week.
"Your case conference is tomorrow," he told them, his secretary offering them steaming cups of coffee. Jun was still shivering, even now in the warmth of the law offices. It was much colder in Ottawa than it had been in Vancouver, and he wasn't used to it anymore. "We've already entered the application, and the rest is fairly simple; we will meet the judge in charge of your case privately. Since the application was mutual, the judge should be able to confer an order based on that."
"So it should be finished tomorrow?" Jun said.
Katsushima picked up his coffee cup, eyes twinkling. "Just in time for you to catch the evening flight out." He took a sip of coffee. "I know this may seem obvious, but I have an obligation to say it anyways - annulment is different from divorce in that it voids the marriage; legally, it never happened."
"In order to make this judgment, it is important that you are both clear in your intentions to void this marriage."
"Of course," Jun said, surprised, and Nino muttered his assent from where he wass fidgeting in the chair next to him.
"Yes, I know it seems obvious," Katsushima said, smiling. "We simply just don't need anything else lost in translation."
The meeting is brief, and their manager, relaxed by an impending end to the crisis and the decreased interest of media, practically pushed Jun out of the van with instructions to enjoy himself as he pleased.
To Jun's surprise, Nino slid out of the van and stood beside him, looking grumpy and cold, but resolute.
"Are you serious?" Jun couldn't help but laugh. Nino was bundled up as round as a daruma doll, his sharp eyes peeking out from a narrow opening between hat and scarf.
Nino snorted, his breath forming a cloud in the icy air. "I'm here for the Matsumoto Tour," he deadpanned, "You're responsible if my butt freezes."
Jun grinned, tugging at Nino's toque so it covered his eyes. "Meals are included in the tour price."
"Hmm?" Nino didn't bother to adjust his toque, grabbing onto Jun's arm and letting him steer him along as they started walking. "Better not be an expensive price."
"You'll find a way to pay," Jun was glad he can blame the cold for the redness rising in his cheeks.
Ottawa was smaller than Toronto, and much more picturesque; the frozen sweep of the Rideau Canal, the bottle-green roofs of the government buildings, and cobbled streets cornered by historical buildings.
Jun had planned for some shopping, maybe check out some of the historical buildings - the cold wasn't bad after awhile, as long as they covered up. He forgot to put his gloves on while concentrating on getting a good picture of a snowman all dressed up in a top hat next to an old-fashioned brick building. It was only a minute, but he couldn't even unzip his camera case; his fingers were stiff and cold, and Nino took one look at him and steered him into a nearby shop.
The warmth of the shop initially felt good, but Jun gasped as some of the feeling started to tingle back into his fingers. It was unbelievably painful - like a thousand tiny needles stinging his fingers. He couldn't even move his fingers properly, and they shook uncontrollably.
Nino took off his gloves and grabbed one of Jun's trembling hands in his own, rubbing gently at his skin. "You deserve this, you know." His tone is reproachful, but gentle. "This isn't Hawaii, idiot."
"I thought the sand was a bit too white." Nino's massage started to help the blood circulate through his numb fingers, and the ache began to retreat.
"That's better," Jun manages, still surprised with how much it had hurt. He had never felt cold like this in his life, ever.
"Hmm." Nino let go of his hands, inspecting the red, puffy fingers. "Keep your gloves on. I don't want to have to spend all night melting you."
His tone was casual, but Jun shivered suddenly, less from the cold than from the image of Nino's hot skin pressed against him, everywhere.
Tempting as that sounded, Jun had learned his lesson, and they ventured back out into the cold. He usually preferred shopping alone; he could go at his own pace and take his time as he liked. He had thought Nino would have griped and dragged his feet all the way, but he was surprisingly good company. By the time the sun had started to sink in the late afternoon, they were both almost too tired to talk.
Nino found them a taxi - their hotel was only about five blocks away, but it was getting colder, and Jun hadn't noticed how quickly his shopping bags had multiplied.
The taxi was warm, and Jun felt like he could fall asleep then and there. It was almost a letdown to get out into the cold again, however briefly, before entering the hotel lobby.
"Room, please," Jun said as they get to the front desk, dragging his army of shopping bags with him. He was too tired to remember the proper phrases. "Ah - Matsumoto."
The woman smiled and typed on the computer, but then looked confused and rapidly spoke something that he didn't understand.
"Sorry," Jun said, "I don't -"
"Reservation," Nino cut across his words. "Ninomiya."
As if these were magic words, the woman smiled again, and there were key cards produced. Nino took them and handed one to Jun.
"I told Manager we'd share," Nino said bluntly. "We're wasting enough company money by having to delay our flights and cancel our appointments back in Japan. No sense in causing any more inconvenience."
"How thoughtful of you," Jun said dryly, but he could feel his pulse speeding up already. A bellhop was loading all of their bags on a cart, and gestured at them to follow him. The elevator ride up to the tenth floor was silent, but not altogether awkward, surprisingly.
They both wanted the same thing, Jun realized, and it was at the point where there was no reason in pretending or tripping around that fact.
The room was spacious and warm, with two double beds set next to each other. Nino shed his shoes and layers of jackets and belly-flopped down across one of them in satisfaction.
Jun sheds his own jacket, his hands still sore and sensitive from earlier, and lay down on the bed next to Nino.
"I seem to remember something about melting me," he said, as Nino turned on his side to face him. They were lying parallel to each other, just inches apart, and the room was unnervingly quiet around them. It really was just them now, Jun realized - no one to hide from, no reason to pretend that this wasn't happening.
Nino grinned. "As you wish," he said, slipping his hands under Jun's sweater. Jun yelped involuntarily; Nino's hands were like ice, and Nino managed to get a good pinch in at his nipple before Jun kicked him right off the bed.
"You bastard," Jun choked out, but he was laughing too hard to sound properly threatening. Nino crawled up back onto the bed, voice cracking with laughter, and he curled into Jun's side properly this time, his back against Jun's chest.
"Warm me up," he said, butting his head up against Jun's chin.
"Bossy," Jun said, but he kissed the top of Nino's head before he could stop himself. Nino made a contented noise, tangling his legs up with Jun, apparently content to just spoon and doze.
This was the dangerous part, Jun thought somewhat giddily; an armful of Nino, and no one to remind him there were lines he should box his feelings inside of. Tucked in next to each other like this, just staying close - it wasn't about sex, or being drunk or desperate.
There was nothing either of them could blame this on, but - Nino seemed to know like he knew what he was doing, and Jun felt too warm all over to even protest.
"We can stop this, if you want," Nino said after a time, words muffled into Jun's arm.
It took Jun a minute to realize that Nino wasn't talking about snuggling.
"Did you freeze your brain?" he demanded.
Nino rolled over so they were facing each other again. "You're the one who said it would be nice - if it was for real. I'm assuming your brain was well-thawed out when you said that."
Jun stared levelly at him. "There's a big gap between that and actually making it real." He shifted his arm so Nino's weight isn't resting directly on it, wrapping it around Nino's shoulders to bring him closer. "I don't think I'm ready to actually be the first gaymarried idol in Japan, after all."
Nino nodded, looking somewhat relieved. "It would make Aiba too happy."
"This, though - " Jun didn't know what words to call it by - him and Nino pressed together with no space between them, Nino's exhaled breath hot against his neck. "We don't have to stop - I mean," he amends, "This is good. Like this."
Nino's eyes brightened. "Is that a love confession, J.?" He leant up to kiss Jun's nose. "You're sweet."
Jun pushed him down on the mattress, trying to ignore the roar of feelings that were rushing through him. "It's our last night of our honeymoon," he remarked, leaning down to kiss Nino's exposed collarbone. "No sense in wasting the mood."
Nino arched up beneath him, grinding shamelessly against Jun. "How much long underwear have you got on?" he complained. "I can't even feel you."
"That's pretty unbelievable, coming from the human onion," Jun retorted, and there was a quick mutual fumble to peel away layers of warmth. They were both rushing, even though there was time.
Jun kept getting distracted as bits of Nino began to appear -pale skin, the tight muscles of his stomach, the sharp cut of his collarbone and poky wings of his shoulder blades.
Everything about his body was familiar, but Jun had never been able to just look, and know that if he wanted to, he could reach out and touch.
Jun finished undressing first, despite taking the time to carefully fold and stack his clothes on a chair. He sat with his back against the headboard. He can't help but think about the protestors kissing at the airport, of the rainbow-striped flags echoing Arashi's own colours.
"Did we do it wrong?" he said. "Should we have said something?"
Nino was still struggling with his fuzzy long-johns, the crackle of static electricity from his leg-hair audible as he tugged them off. He paused and turned towards Jun, fully naked now.
"No," he said frankly. "Maybe I should care more, but I don't." He shuffled up across the bed, until he was straddling Jun's lap. "I want at least one secret left."
Jun felt dazed, faced with a lapful of very naked Nino. "I'm not sure I'm interested in being your secret," he said sharply, though his heart was not in it with the way Nino was grinding against him.
"Secrets aren't such bad things, Jun-kun," Nino kissed his shoulder. "Secrets are things so important that you don't want to share them with anyone."
"If two people know something, it isn't necessarily a secret," Jun retorted, trying to get the words out in one breath as Nino's kisses wandered lower.
Nino raised one shoulder in a half-shrug. "Just between you and me, then."
+
They were at the courthouse early, suitcases piled into their rented van in the assured hope of being able to go directly to the airport afterwards.
Jun had somehow been expecting a full-on court room, with an elevated seat for the judge and tables filled with lawyers - but of course, his main court experience came from watching too many legal dramas. They are led up a set of stairs into a spacious, comfortable room, where a woman sitting on a couch stands up and shook their hands, introducing herself as the judge involved in their case. She is wearing business attire, but no black robes, and Jun feels a bit underwhelmed at the casualness of the whole situation after such a dramatic build-up.
"Let's begin," she says, once they are all settled, and the translator begins to convey her words in an undertone to them. "Mr. Matsumoto, Mr. Ninomiya, your application for the annulment of your divorce states that you were unaware of the legal nature of this ceremony. Is that true?"
"Yes," Jun responded, a bit annoyed by the way the translator repeated after him, even though he was speaking in English.
Nino agreed in Japanese, clearly deciding to let the translator have all of the fun.
The judge nods, and begins speaking to the translator, too quickly for Jun to understand.
"There has been some - " the translator seemed to struggle for the right word for a moment once the judge was finished speaking, "media coverage that claims that you sought a legal ceremony, which was spun off as a joke to avoid negative press. I understand that gay marriage is not legal in Japan." Her smile was sympathetic, and it took her next words for Jun to figure out where this was headed. "As public figures, it's understandable to want to maintain your reputation. However, it is unacceptable to play with something as solemn and sacred as the legal institution of marriage."
"They most certainly did not - " their manager began hotly, but Katsushima silenced him with a hand on his arm, and gestured towards Jun and Nino.
"You need to state your intent," he said simply.
This would be the moment, Jun realized - if this were a drama or a movie. His eyes would meet Nino's, and he would stand up and deliver a dramatic speech about how he felt, and then they would walk out of the room hand in hand. There was nothing left but their own words.
However, as much as he felt about Nino - whatever those uncertain, fledgling feelings were - he did not want to be married to him.
"We didn't know," he said, "We played rock-paper-scissors - to decide. It was supposed to be fake. Maybe it wasn't very respectful, but - it wasn't real. I don't want to be married to him," he added empathetically, in case he wasn't making himself clear enough.
There was a pause for translation, and the judge appeared to be suppressing laughter when she looked to Nino. "Mr. Ninomiya?"
"I didn't mean to marry him, your honour." Nino said cheekily, and Jun mentally thanked the miracles of translation that will iron out the flippancy of that statement before it is conveyed to the judge.
The judge nodded, and shuffled through the papers in front of her. "In that case, I am willing to consider your application for the annulment of your marriage." She glanced over her glasses at them. "I will file an order immediately. In the eyes of the Province of Ontario, your marriage is officially null and void."
Their manager let out a relieved sigh. Katsushima shook the judge's hand, and Nino met Jun's eyes. "Good work," he mouthed, and Jun smiled, repeating it back.
At least they didn't have to kiss for the cameras this time.
+
It was a long ride to the airport for an even longer flight, and Jun wasn't stupid enough to mistake the look in Nino's eyes when he purposefully excused himself to the bathroom before they left the court house.
Nino was already waiting in a stall, and the look he gave Jun when he walks him made Jun want to shove him against the wall and take him right there. It was a near thing.
"Divorce is a stressful thing," Nino said solemnly, as Jun shut the stall door behind himself, locking them in.
Jun laughed, backing Nino up against the wall and working on Nino's belt. "Sorry we couldn't work things out." He leant down to catch Nino's earlobe in his teeth, enjoying Nino's surprised hiss.
"Well, we can always consider a private settlement," Nino said, roughly palming Jun's dick through his pants.
Jun used one hand to pin Nino against the wall, resting two fingers against Nino's bottom lip. "Suck," he ordered.
Nino opened his mouth and licked at Jun's finger, sucking it in slowly, teeth scraping against the skin. Jun groaned, trying to focus on getting Nino's belt off with one hand.
Nino's hands covered his, and in a second, his pants were pooled around his ankles. Jun cupped the hot weight of Nino's balls in his hand, enjoying the flash of heat in Nino's eyes. He took his fingers out of Nino's mouth, shivering as Nino nipped at his fingertips.
He let his hands skim over the curve of Nino's back, down the waistband of his underwear.
"Jun," Nino said, almost a whine. His head was buried in Jun's neck, and Jun felt a fluttering kiss under his ear. He moved his hand down further, hooking his spit-slick finger and pushing it inside Nino - not deep, just teasing at the entrance.
Nino was all tight muscle, clenching in surprise around his finger. He massaged Nino's entrance in slow circles that had Nino rocking his hips into Jun, shamelessly hooking one leg around Jun's waist so that Jun's finger slid in deeper.
"I want to fuck you." Jun's voice sounded strained and rough to his own ears - he had little control left, and this - it was not enough. He wanted to be inside Nino, buried deep and hot. He wanted to see Nino lose control and clutch at him - god, he wanted it all, and this was not the time or place.
Nino lifted his head, leaning back against the wall, and his eyes were wide and dark, Jun couldn't resist sucking at Nino's bottom lip, and Nino answered with a kiss that is unexpectedly soft, reaching a hand up to cup Jun's face.
Their breathing was ragged when they separated, but Nino held Jun's gaze.
"Later," Nino promised, pushing back against Jun's finger inside him, his hands gripping onto Jun's arms like a lifeline. "Properly."
Jun kissed him again, concentrating on their mouths moving against each other, the soft noises as their lips meet and part. "My place," he muttered against Nino's lips. "You've never been there, right?"
Nino slipped his hand into Jun's hair, bringing Jun down to him so their foreheads bumped gently. "I get the feeling I'm going to be over a bit more," he said, his voice rough. "Now that we can live in sin again, and all."
"I knew I should have signed a pre-nup," Jun said resignedly, dragging Nino in for another kiss.
+
ARASHI NI SHIYAGARE | 16 APRIL 2016
[enter on cue]
Sakurai: Please welcome tonight's guest, Ohiru Tezuka-san!
[applause]
Sakurai: Ohiru-san, you've become incredibly popular lately.
Ohiru: Ah…thank you. It wasn't really my intention to come into the spotlight quite so much.
Sakurai: No, no, it's quite incredible.
Aiba: By the way, which Arashi member is your type?
Sakurai: Now?!?! You want to talk about that now?
Aiba: I'm curious.
Ohiru: Ah, that's quite embarrassing. What should I do?
Aiba: Stop smiling like that, Nino. It's creepy.
Ninomiya: I'm just trying to look appealing.
Ohiru: When I was young - I had a poster of Ohno-san in my bedroom.
All: Ohhhhhh!
Ohno: Really?
Ohiru: Really. Well, this was when I wanted to be a dancer. I thought Ohno-san was really cool.
Ohno: Ohh~ thank you - what do you mean, "was"?
[laughter]
Sakurai: So, tonight, Ohiru-san - it seems like you've brought some souvenirs for us.
Ohiru: Yes - I brought some coffee. I love coffee, and there are many different flavours -
Matsumoto: This sounds like a commercial.
Ninomiya: [sings] Hotto hotto, yu~kkuri susuru…
Ohiru: [laughs] Thank you. Now - I brought different flavours for everyone. Sakurai-san is toffee flavoured…
Sakurai: Woah, this smells really good! Can I try some?
Ohiru: Go ahead, please. Ohno-san is Grand Marnier - and Ninomiya-san is Irish Cream.
Ohno: Ohhh. Is that a type with liquor?
Ohiru: Well, just the flavor. They're complicated tastes, so I don't know if you'll like them. For Matsumoto-san -
Matsumoto: I really love coffee.
Ohiru: I'd heard so. For you, I brought a dark roast. It's not flavoured, but it's very bitter and strong. I'd recommend it.
Ninomiya: You know, when we were in Canada, he was barely human until he had gotten his coffee.
Matsumoto: Shut up.
Ohiru: And for Aiba-san - French Vanilla.
Aiba: Oh! It smells sweet.
Ohiru: My mother loves it. I thought Aiba suited a sweeter taste.
Aiba: Thanks! Er - ah -
Aiba: Are you sure that doesn't mean I'm your type?
Matsumoto: [hits him]
Jun/Nino | 嵐 RPS | R | ~14,000 words
Part 1
Vancouver was warmer than Toronto, and between the mountains and ocean, felt somewhat less alien. Even just putting sheer physical distance between the events of the past day made Jun feel somehow refreshed as they got off the plane.
They could hear the noise of a waiting crowd as they are going through security, and Jun couldn't help but feel excited. This was the best part of the tour, in some ways - knowing that there were people who were waiting for them, who had been waiting to see them.
As they stepped out of arrivals, however, the welcome wasn't exactly as he had been anticipating.
First of all, the crowd was huge, and it looked like the security staff are struggling to set up extra barriers and keep the crowd back. Even in Toronto, not even half this number had come out - there were reporters, too, lots of them, and Jun had a sinking feeling that they weren't just here to report on the concert tour.
The mood of the crowd was distinctly mixed. He could see uchiwa and signs, and heard the roar and high-pitched screams of waiting fans - but there were faces that were staring, glaring, yelling in what did not look like a happy manner.
Their manager herded them together, three beefy security guys descending to surround them. "Stay together and move quickly. We weren't expecting this," he glanced over his shoulder at the crowds, "We'll just get out quickly."
Jun kept close to the others, feeling Aiba grip his elbow as loud boos started to echo from the crowd. He craned his neck to find where they were coming from, and saw a large group of people with rainbow flags, standing under a banner that he couldn't read.
Two men kissed pointedly as they walked by. One of them was holding a sign that said OUR LOVE IS NOT A JOKE.
"I didn't realize…" Aiba's voice was thick with anxiety - guilt - all of the things that were also welling up in Jun. He hadn't realized how used he was to being treated like gold everywhere he went. He could hear fans cheering, but the jeers and yells of the protesters were louder, and the five of them were doing nothing but slinking away. It made him feel sick to his stomach.
After what seemed like hours, they made it out of a side door and piled into a van. No one talked for a minute.
Sho spoke up first, his voice shaky, "What the hell was that?"
Their manager collapsed into the front seat, looking exhausted. "Protesters - security said it was the Vancouver Rainbow Coalition, a gay-rights group. Maybe some other groups, too."
"But why -" Jun remembered the sign. "People are that angry?"
Their manager shrugged. "Gay marriage is legal in Canada, but it didn't happen without a fight. People get pretty touchy when you come in and step on their values."
"I get that, but - " Jun felt frustrated, "We didn't mean for this to happen."
"Maybe we should make a statement," Ohno said quietly.
"No statements," says their manager quickly, a kneejerk Johnny's reaction.
"It might make things better -"
"I know," their manager said. "It might make them worse, too. Maybe the media are all over this right now, but give it two days, and everyone will realize that it's not a big deal. Anyways, these are orders from the top. Wait it out, let things settle down."
Luckily, there were no protestors waiting at their hotel, and after unloading their luggage and changing, they piled back into the van to go to the sushi restaurant along the harbor that Sho had promised to show them.
The fish was delicious and unbelievably fresh, but Jun couldn't get his mind off the scene at the airport. He didn't seem to be the only one, either; all five were unusually subdued.
Aiba was staring morosely into his beer, Ohno scratching the long grains of the wooden table with a fingernail, Nino pushing around stray grains of rice into designs on his plate, and Sho eating with forced gusto, as if he expected food to heal the whole situation.
"Maybe you should say something during the MC," Aiba said suddenly, once their manager has left the table to take a phone call and it was just the five of them.
"Aiba," Sho sighed. "They said we're not talking about it."
"What are they going to do, cut off the mics?" Aiba argued. "Besides - like this - isn't it worse? We just look like puppets. I know it wasn't our fault, but isn't it our responsibility, too? We should say what we think," he finished, voice slightly unsteady. "I hate it like this."
"What could we even say?" Nino pointed out. "We thought it was a stupid joke, too. If they're saying that we were treating it like a joke - they're right."
"Then we should apologize."
They sat in silence for a minute.
"Nino, Jun-kun," Ohno spoke up. "This is about you two more than anyone else. What do you think?"
Jun wanted so badly to say something; he was sure that they could fix things. About to speak, he caught Nino's eye. Nino looks wary, somehow - almost fearful.
"Let's not say anything yet. We don't know what's going to happen in the next day or so. We should focus on doing our best in rehearsals."
"That's that, then," Ohno said, voice turning quieter as their manager approached again.
"Well, we've got a bit more trouble," their manager said, reaching for his beer. He looked harried. "That was the producer for VS Arashi. Two of the Canadian celebrities that signed on to appear in the taping tomorrow have cancelled."
"Cancelled?" It had been Jun's idea to have them try to tape a full VS Arashi episode in Vancouver, with Canadian guests and audience. It had been a huge expense to send over all of the equipment and sets needed, but there had been a great response, and they had all been really looking forward to it.
"Is it because of…" Sho fumbled for words, and eventually just gestured around at Nino, Jun, and the whole situation.
"I'm afraid so." Their manager was glumly typing out a text. "Not surprising, I guess. I'm going to go meet with the producer now - the van will take you over to the stadium for rehearsals when you're finished." He drained the rest of his beer and stood up, leaving the five of them alone again.
"We need to remember," Sho said after a moment, breaking the silence, "People may not understand here, but it's going to be fine when we go back. This isn't going to last. It's not great, but -"
"We can't just leave it like this," Aiba protested. "It's not right. It's not who we are."
Nino stood up, pushing his chair in. "Going to the bathroom," he muttered, squeezing past them out of their corner table.
Jun watched him go. Nino might act like it's all a joke,, Ohno had said, but that doesn't mean he doesn't take things seriously.
Before he'd even realized what he's doing, he was out of his chair and walking after Nino, not even looking back at the others.
The washroom was small and dimly lit, just two stalls and a large window leaking in pale winter sunlight. Nino was sitting on the windowsill, legs tucked up on the broad ledge. He was rolling a cigarette between his fingers, but it wasn't lit, and it seemed more like a nervous fidget than real intent.
"You can't smoke in here," Jun said automatically. Actually, it didn't seem like there were many places in Vancouver where you could smoke. At least it wasn't as cold as Toronto had been.
"I know that," Nino said gruffly, tucking the cigarette back into a pack he produced from his pocket.
Having followed him in here, Jun wasn't sure exactly what he wanted to say. He was aware of how ridiculous they looked - one standing uncertainly in the doorway of the bathroom, the other perched on the window like a large bird.
"We can say something if you want," Jun said. "If you want this to stop. But it's up to you."
Nino fixed Jun with a particularly sharp look. "Why is it up to me?"
"Because -" Jun wished he had a better idea of what Ohno had meant. He felt like he was treating Nino like a fragile egg, with no idea of what come out if he let it crack. "I don't know what you think about all this."
Nino snorted. "It's just a pain, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but - oh, forget it." There was no reason in trying to protect Nino's feelings when he wasn't sure exactly what they were, or if they even existed at all. They were getting nowhere with this.
"What about you?" Nino asked, swiveling on the window ledge to face Jun. There was an intensity to his gaze that was a little unnerving. "The other night, when you were creeping on me - what were you thinking about?"
Jun hesitated, but this wasn't Nino bantering. Nino wanted the truth, and that was probably the only thing that would get him anything honest out of Nino in return.
"It's a pain, but - just for a moment, I thought," He moved over to the sinks, pretending to check his reflection. He couldn't look at Nino. "If it was real, it would…it would be okay."
The silence that followed was unbearably heavy.
"It's not for real, Jun-kun." Nino's voice was gentle, but cautious - and closer.
Jun turned to find that Nino had left the ledge, and was leaning against the sink next to him. His expression was hard to read - Nino could close off his feeling like a door. Jun had often wished he could do the same.
"I know," Jun said, willing his voice to sound flippant. "Good thing, too."
Nino smiled at that. Then he leaned over, and Jun only had a brief second to panic before Nino kissed his cheek gently.
"Good thing," Nino agreed, moving towards the doorway. "We would fuck things up pretty badly."
Jun stared at him as he left, wondering (not for the first time in his life) exactly how the hell Nino's mind worked.
+
Rehearsal went smoothly, and it was an unimaginable relief to be able to immerse himself in the million little details that needed to be woven together to create their concert. He could forget everything else and just do what he did best.
Despite everything that had happened, Jun could feel the rising excitement among everyone for the concert. This was the final, and the largest concert so far.
He was feeling much more upbeat by the time they reached the hotel after rehearsal. He had stayed at the venue for about an hour after the others, going over transitions for their solos, making sure everyone was on the same page.
He was heading to his room to go change before meeting some of the staff for drinks when the door next to his clicked open, and Sho's head poked out.
"Are you free for a moment?" Sho asked. He moved out into the hallway, barefoot and holding his laptop almost protectively to his chest. "There's something you should see."
"Sure, come in." Jun unlocked his door, gesturing for Sho to go in ahead of him. Sho padded in and set the laptop on the large desk, motioning for Jun to sit down and read.
Jun sat in the chair, squinting at the bright screen. It was an article from a tabloid, and he scrolled down, feeling anxious.
MATSUMOTO JUN IS A WELL-KNOWN HEARTTHROB WHOSE GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM ARE SURE TO ENSNARE MANY LADIES.
HOWEVER, STRANGELY ENOUGH, HE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SUBJECT OF MORE THAN UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMOUR ABOUT HIS CONNECTIONS TO -
"When do tabloids ever deal in substantive rumour?" Jun asked dryly.
"Keep reading," Sho insisted.
IS HE REALLY THAT DISCREET? OR DOES HE HAVE A DEEPER SECRET?
A RELIABLE SOURCE IN JOHNNY'S MANAGEMENT TELLS US THAT THESE MARRIAGE HIJINKS ARE ACTUALLY MORE COMPLICATED THAN ONE MIGHT EXPECT.
"ALTHOUGH THE MARRIAGE ITSELF IS FAKE, IT WAS PLANNED TO TEST THE PUBLIC REACTION TO A JOHNNY'S IDOL INVOLVED IN AN OPEN GAY RELATIONSHIP," SAYS A COMPANY INSIDER. "BY TESTING THE EFFECT ON FANS REACTIONS AND ECONOMIC IMPACTS, JOHNNY CAN DECIDE WHETHER IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A 'GAY IDOL' TO SURVIVE AND SUCCEED."
IS THIS THE CHANCE FOR MATSUMOTO TO FINALLY COME OUT AND SHOW HIS TRUE SELF? AND WILL HIS FANS SUPPORT HIM?
Jun sat back. "Well," he says. "Uh."
"It's garbage, I know." Sho said quickly. "They'll just say anything they want without thinking. I just - I thought it was better if I showed you, instead of -" he swept his hands uselessly, and Jun realizes that Sho knew. He had probably known for a long time.
"Thank you," he said quietly.
"It's fine, you know," Sho put his hand on Jun's shoulder awkwardly. "You don't have to be sorry for anything that has happened, or for what anyone thinks."
There was a grain of truth in the whole skewed mess of gossip, but it was not one that he could ever acknowledge. Would people believe it? Suddenly, the idea of standing on stage tomorrow night made his stomach drop unexpectedly.
Sho picked up his laptop, shutting it. "I wanted you to see it, but I think you shouldn't care about it." He headed towards the door. "In the end, it's just us. We get to decide who we are."
Yes, Jun thought, as Sho shut the door behind him, but what if we aren't sure?
+
The concert was great. Better than great - it was amazing. All of the uneasiness that Jun felt melted away to the cheers of the crowd. At least that, Jun thought to himself as he contentedly scrubbed himself in the shower, the roar of the audience's cheers still echoing in his ears. At least concerts didn't change. He was truly grateful that hadn't been touched.
It was an early start the next morning for the VS Arashi taping, but all of the members ended up drifting naturally towards Ohno's hotel room. They ended up in warm, heavy sprawls across beds and the floor, heads still fuzzy with cheers and mildly drunk on both alcohol and happiness, talking about everything and nothing in particular.
Jun felt relaxed and boneless, hot from head to toe. There was a certain magic to concerts, and it's hard to come down from it. It was easier like this; still the five of them. It was sometimes too lonely when it was just himself.
"Hey!" Aiba stared at his phone, his eyes wide. He passed it over to Sho, who reads for a moment, than whistled low under his breath.
"What is it?" Nino asked testily, from where he was stretched on the bed, with a lapful of sleepy Ohno.
Sho looked up hesitantly. "You know Ohiru Tezuka, right?"
"That actor who's in all of the instant coffee commercials?" Jun said. "Yeah. Never met him, but - "
"He wrote a blog entry," Aiba blurted out. "About you guys." He thrust his phone towards Jun.
With a rising feeling of dread, Jun began to read out loud.
Lately, many people have been talking about silly things.
Matsumoto Jun and Ninomiya Kazunari are very famous idols. They are very close. I have worked with both of them, and they are very kind, talented, and humble men.
I have a lot of respect for them. Although I don't know them privately, I can imagine that they are telling the truth that this marriage was just a mistake. I don't see why they would lie. It's only the media that is twisting everything into lies.
It makes me angry to see reasonable people making bigoted and crazy statements.
Even if they had married for real, what's wrong with that? If they wanted to enter Japan as a married couple, shouldn't we recognize and respect them?
I have always kept quiet about my private life, but I can't keep quiet in the face of such things.
I am a gay man.
I live in a country that won't allow me to marry. Although there are many people braver than me who will fight for this, I have stayed quiet. Although Ninomiya and Matsumoto may not be married for real, their 'marriage' is making us all think about this.
Is it really okay to treat people differently? Aren't all people in love the same? I hope that people can consider this carefully.
Jun handed the phone back to Aiba, who wouldn't meet his eyes. Sho was typing furiously on his own phone, the soft tap of his fingertips the only sound in the room.
"Over a million views so far," Sho said after a minute. "And most of the major media networks have already picked up on it."
"I don't see what's wrong," Ohno spoke up, from where he had his head pillowed in Nino's lap, conveniently propping up Nino's DS for him.
"It's turning them into a symbol, that's what," Sho said. "People are using this case to call on the government to legalize gay unions. The issue is getting bigger than anyone expected."
"So we stay quiet," Jun said dismissively. "It will blow over. We don't have to do anything about it."
"But -" Aiba said suddenly, his face turning red. "What if you did something? This could be a chance to - to change a lot, Nino, you could -"
"Aiba, shut up," said Nino sharply, but it's too late. Sho swiveled towards Nino, eyes widening.
"I didn't mean - " Sho began, but Nino cut off his apology.
"It's fine. I don't care about any of this."
"It's not okay, though," Aiba persisted, meek but determined. "They're right, you know. Why shouldn't you have a chance at a normal life?"
"We're idols," Nino reminded him unnecessarily. "None of us have normal lives." He turns his gaze back to his DS.
The room was quiet again, and Jun tried to clear the haze of shock from his mind. Had he just heard that right? Nino was -
Nino was gay.
"I'm going to get some whiskey I bought." He got to his feet, suppressing the urge of run out of the room. "Be back in a bit."
Jun's own room was just down the hall, and he stood inside in the dark for a minute, just staring ahead. His mind was whirling too fast for thoughts to do more than bubble briefly to the surface before submerging again.
Nino was gay. Like Jun, he was - and they were married.
Jun wanted to hit something very badly. If this came out at all - if the media found out - they would really have a field day with it. It wouldn't, of course - no one would say anything, even if Aiba seemed hell-bent on turning them all into gay rights champions.
Maybe it was selfish of Jun, but he didn't care about any of that. He just wanted to slink quietly back into the shadows again.
How many times over the years had he had stupid daydreams about finding out another member was gay? Not even that about love or sex, but just - having someone to understand what that meant. Not being alone.
Jun wasn't alone now, but he felt more lost than ever.
"Need some help?" Nino was in his doorway, his slight frame a shadow against the light of the hallway.
"I'm fine," Jun said, reaching for the light switch, but Nino got there first. "Just - just had a bit too much to drink."
Nino's smile was gentle. "I didn't mean to shock you."
"I didn't know," The words sounded awkward and ridiculous, but they had to be said. "That you were gay - I didn't know."
Nino's expression didn't flicker. "Well, now you do. Does it make a difference?" His tone was more curious that defensive.
"Did you know - about me?" Jun felt a tug inside him, like he should turn around and leave right now before things got too dangerous. Before they get in too deep to pull back.
Nino's mouth twisted apologetically. "Yes. Or - " he moved towards Jun, and Jun had to will himself to stand still. "I guessed, anyways."
"Oh." Jun paused a minute to take that in. "Did you - how did you -?"
"J., really." Nino's voice was amused. "You spent about two years looking at Sho like you could take his pants off with your mind if you focused hard enough. It wasn't hard to figure out."
"But you never said anything," Jun said. He feels strangely angry.
Nino stared at him calmly, just a step away.
"Like I said," he said slowly. "Does it make a difference?"
Jun swallowed, feeling the edge of a precipice under his words. "It does."
Nino was too close, he realized belatedly, and this was going too far.
"Then, Jun-kun," Nino reached out a hand, tucking Jun's hair back behind his ear. "I won't feel bad about this."
Jun had no idea how to respond to that. Luckily, he didn't even have time to before Nino gripped his shoulder, and he kissed Jun.
It wasn't soft at all. Nino was shorter than Jun, and he was nearly on his toes, but he was kissing roughly, nipping at Jun's bottom lip with his teeth, then soothing over the bites with his tongue.
God, but it was good. Jun dragged Nino closer, using his height to control the kiss, coaxing Nino's mouth open wider, until their tongues slid hotly against each other.
Nino made a sound that sounded like a whimper into Jun's mouth, and suddenly, it wasn't enough, just Nino pressed up against him, skin hot at every touch. Jun dropped to his knees, fingers tucking into the waist band of Nino's sweats.
"Jun-kun," Nino breathed, both a plea and a warning.
Jun tugged down Nino's sweats to his knees, running his hands back up Nino's thighs. "You said it yourself," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "We'd fuck things up pretty badly."
Nino grunted in agreement, fingers curling around Jun's neck. "Might as well get started on that," he managed, as Jun leant down to breathe against the thin fabric of his underwear.
+
Their flight to Ottawa was two hours later than the others' flight back to Tokyo, so they were able to see them off. Jun went up to the observation deck to take pictures of their place ascending for Sho.
He felt envious of them as he watched the plane gain speed, rising quickly above all of the mess of the past few days. He knew that wasn't necessarily true; the others would have to deal with annoying questions and stupid jokes in Japan, too - but at least they got to go home.
Nino was cranky the whole flight back to Ottawa, and they both eventually just stuck their earbuds in and ignored each other. Jun tried to nap, but he kept getting caught up in his thoughts, unable to drift off.
The night before last seemed as far away as a dream now. Jun kept second-guessing if it had really happened. He had sucked Nino off right there on the floor, and then Nino had dragged him onto one of the beds and they had made out for a bit - and then they had gone back to Ohno's room; Jun with whiskey in hand, praying that his ears weren't as red they felt.
No one had said anything - in retrospect, Jun realized, they hadn't joked about it because they might have suspected why Nino had gone after Jun. That was almost worse. It had been hard enough to look anyone in the eye during filming the next day as it was.
At least that had gone well enough; one of the replacement guests that had joined turned out to be a famous gay comedian, who was barely taller than Ohno. His only remark about their wedding had been that their tuxedos had been hideous, which made everyone laugh, and lightened the whole atmosphere considerably. There had been no protestors at the airport this time, Jun had noticed. Maybe things were finally calming down. Two days in Ottawa for the settlement conference, and then it would be over.
Or rather - they wouldn't be married anymore. Jun couldn't say what would happen next. He had wanted Nino last night - yes, he had been frustrated and horny, and the whole situation was just doing weird things to his mind - but he couldn't deny that there was something about the way Nino watched him, the way he smiled at him…
"This is so fucked up," Jun muttered under his breath, eyeing the hard plastic pull-down tray and wondering how much it would hurt if he smacked his head on it. He had no intention of talking to Nino about his feelings, but - if they ended up alone again, if there was another chance…
Jun couldn't see himself saying no to that.
+
A few hours after landing, they had an appointment with Katsushima, the lawyer they had met back in Toronto earlier in the week.
"Your case conference is tomorrow," he told them, his secretary offering them steaming cups of coffee. Jun was still shivering, even now in the warmth of the law offices. It was much colder in Ottawa than it had been in Vancouver, and he wasn't used to it anymore. "We've already entered the application, and the rest is fairly simple; we will meet the judge in charge of your case privately. Since the application was mutual, the judge should be able to confer an order based on that."
"So it should be finished tomorrow?" Jun said.
Katsushima picked up his coffee cup, eyes twinkling. "Just in time for you to catch the evening flight out." He took a sip of coffee. "I know this may seem obvious, but I have an obligation to say it anyways - annulment is different from divorce in that it voids the marriage; legally, it never happened."
"In order to make this judgment, it is important that you are both clear in your intentions to void this marriage."
"Of course," Jun said, surprised, and Nino muttered his assent from where he wass fidgeting in the chair next to him.
"Yes, I know it seems obvious," Katsushima said, smiling. "We simply just don't need anything else lost in translation."
The meeting is brief, and their manager, relaxed by an impending end to the crisis and the decreased interest of media, practically pushed Jun out of the van with instructions to enjoy himself as he pleased.
To Jun's surprise, Nino slid out of the van and stood beside him, looking grumpy and cold, but resolute.
"Are you serious?" Jun couldn't help but laugh. Nino was bundled up as round as a daruma doll, his sharp eyes peeking out from a narrow opening between hat and scarf.
Nino snorted, his breath forming a cloud in the icy air. "I'm here for the Matsumoto Tour," he deadpanned, "You're responsible if my butt freezes."
Jun grinned, tugging at Nino's toque so it covered his eyes. "Meals are included in the tour price."
"Hmm?" Nino didn't bother to adjust his toque, grabbing onto Jun's arm and letting him steer him along as they started walking. "Better not be an expensive price."
"You'll find a way to pay," Jun was glad he can blame the cold for the redness rising in his cheeks.
Ottawa was smaller than Toronto, and much more picturesque; the frozen sweep of the Rideau Canal, the bottle-green roofs of the government buildings, and cobbled streets cornered by historical buildings.
Jun had planned for some shopping, maybe check out some of the historical buildings - the cold wasn't bad after awhile, as long as they covered up. He forgot to put his gloves on while concentrating on getting a good picture of a snowman all dressed up in a top hat next to an old-fashioned brick building. It was only a minute, but he couldn't even unzip his camera case; his fingers were stiff and cold, and Nino took one look at him and steered him into a nearby shop.
The warmth of the shop initially felt good, but Jun gasped as some of the feeling started to tingle back into his fingers. It was unbelievably painful - like a thousand tiny needles stinging his fingers. He couldn't even move his fingers properly, and they shook uncontrollably.
Nino took off his gloves and grabbed one of Jun's trembling hands in his own, rubbing gently at his skin. "You deserve this, you know." His tone is reproachful, but gentle. "This isn't Hawaii, idiot."
"I thought the sand was a bit too white." Nino's massage started to help the blood circulate through his numb fingers, and the ache began to retreat.
"That's better," Jun manages, still surprised with how much it had hurt. He had never felt cold like this in his life, ever.
"Hmm." Nino let go of his hands, inspecting the red, puffy fingers. "Keep your gloves on. I don't want to have to spend all night melting you."
His tone was casual, but Jun shivered suddenly, less from the cold than from the image of Nino's hot skin pressed against him, everywhere.
Tempting as that sounded, Jun had learned his lesson, and they ventured back out into the cold. He usually preferred shopping alone; he could go at his own pace and take his time as he liked. He had thought Nino would have griped and dragged his feet all the way, but he was surprisingly good company. By the time the sun had started to sink in the late afternoon, they were both almost too tired to talk.
Nino found them a taxi - their hotel was only about five blocks away, but it was getting colder, and Jun hadn't noticed how quickly his shopping bags had multiplied.
The taxi was warm, and Jun felt like he could fall asleep then and there. It was almost a letdown to get out into the cold again, however briefly, before entering the hotel lobby.
"Room, please," Jun said as they get to the front desk, dragging his army of shopping bags with him. He was too tired to remember the proper phrases. "Ah - Matsumoto."
The woman smiled and typed on the computer, but then looked confused and rapidly spoke something that he didn't understand.
"Sorry," Jun said, "I don't -"
"Reservation," Nino cut across his words. "Ninomiya."
As if these were magic words, the woman smiled again, and there were key cards produced. Nino took them and handed one to Jun.
"I told Manager we'd share," Nino said bluntly. "We're wasting enough company money by having to delay our flights and cancel our appointments back in Japan. No sense in causing any more inconvenience."
"How thoughtful of you," Jun said dryly, but he could feel his pulse speeding up already. A bellhop was loading all of their bags on a cart, and gestured at them to follow him. The elevator ride up to the tenth floor was silent, but not altogether awkward, surprisingly.
They both wanted the same thing, Jun realized, and it was at the point where there was no reason in pretending or tripping around that fact.
The room was spacious and warm, with two double beds set next to each other. Nino shed his shoes and layers of jackets and belly-flopped down across one of them in satisfaction.
Jun sheds his own jacket, his hands still sore and sensitive from earlier, and lay down on the bed next to Nino.
"I seem to remember something about melting me," he said, as Nino turned on his side to face him. They were lying parallel to each other, just inches apart, and the room was unnervingly quiet around them. It really was just them now, Jun realized - no one to hide from, no reason to pretend that this wasn't happening.
Nino grinned. "As you wish," he said, slipping his hands under Jun's sweater. Jun yelped involuntarily; Nino's hands were like ice, and Nino managed to get a good pinch in at his nipple before Jun kicked him right off the bed.
"You bastard," Jun choked out, but he was laughing too hard to sound properly threatening. Nino crawled up back onto the bed, voice cracking with laughter, and he curled into Jun's side properly this time, his back against Jun's chest.
"Warm me up," he said, butting his head up against Jun's chin.
"Bossy," Jun said, but he kissed the top of Nino's head before he could stop himself. Nino made a contented noise, tangling his legs up with Jun, apparently content to just spoon and doze.
This was the dangerous part, Jun thought somewhat giddily; an armful of Nino, and no one to remind him there were lines he should box his feelings inside of. Tucked in next to each other like this, just staying close - it wasn't about sex, or being drunk or desperate.
There was nothing either of them could blame this on, but - Nino seemed to know like he knew what he was doing, and Jun felt too warm all over to even protest.
"We can stop this, if you want," Nino said after a time, words muffled into Jun's arm.
It took Jun a minute to realize that Nino wasn't talking about snuggling.
"Did you freeze your brain?" he demanded.
Nino rolled over so they were facing each other again. "You're the one who said it would be nice - if it was for real. I'm assuming your brain was well-thawed out when you said that."
Jun stared levelly at him. "There's a big gap between that and actually making it real." He shifted his arm so Nino's weight isn't resting directly on it, wrapping it around Nino's shoulders to bring him closer. "I don't think I'm ready to actually be the first gaymarried idol in Japan, after all."
Nino nodded, looking somewhat relieved. "It would make Aiba too happy."
"This, though - " Jun didn't know what words to call it by - him and Nino pressed together with no space between them, Nino's exhaled breath hot against his neck. "We don't have to stop - I mean," he amends, "This is good. Like this."
Nino's eyes brightened. "Is that a love confession, J.?" He leant up to kiss Jun's nose. "You're sweet."
Jun pushed him down on the mattress, trying to ignore the roar of feelings that were rushing through him. "It's our last night of our honeymoon," he remarked, leaning down to kiss Nino's exposed collarbone. "No sense in wasting the mood."
Nino arched up beneath him, grinding shamelessly against Jun. "How much long underwear have you got on?" he complained. "I can't even feel you."
"That's pretty unbelievable, coming from the human onion," Jun retorted, and there was a quick mutual fumble to peel away layers of warmth. They were both rushing, even though there was time.
Jun kept getting distracted as bits of Nino began to appear -pale skin, the tight muscles of his stomach, the sharp cut of his collarbone and poky wings of his shoulder blades.
Everything about his body was familiar, but Jun had never been able to just look, and know that if he wanted to, he could reach out and touch.
Jun finished undressing first, despite taking the time to carefully fold and stack his clothes on a chair. He sat with his back against the headboard. He can't help but think about the protestors kissing at the airport, of the rainbow-striped flags echoing Arashi's own colours.
"Did we do it wrong?" he said. "Should we have said something?"
Nino was still struggling with his fuzzy long-johns, the crackle of static electricity from his leg-hair audible as he tugged them off. He paused and turned towards Jun, fully naked now.
"No," he said frankly. "Maybe I should care more, but I don't." He shuffled up across the bed, until he was straddling Jun's lap. "I want at least one secret left."
Jun felt dazed, faced with a lapful of very naked Nino. "I'm not sure I'm interested in being your secret," he said sharply, though his heart was not in it with the way Nino was grinding against him.
"Secrets aren't such bad things, Jun-kun," Nino kissed his shoulder. "Secrets are things so important that you don't want to share them with anyone."
"If two people know something, it isn't necessarily a secret," Jun retorted, trying to get the words out in one breath as Nino's kisses wandered lower.
Nino raised one shoulder in a half-shrug. "Just between you and me, then."
+
They were at the courthouse early, suitcases piled into their rented van in the assured hope of being able to go directly to the airport afterwards.
Jun had somehow been expecting a full-on court room, with an elevated seat for the judge and tables filled with lawyers - but of course, his main court experience came from watching too many legal dramas. They are led up a set of stairs into a spacious, comfortable room, where a woman sitting on a couch stands up and shook their hands, introducing herself as the judge involved in their case. She is wearing business attire, but no black robes, and Jun feels a bit underwhelmed at the casualness of the whole situation after such a dramatic build-up.
"Let's begin," she says, once they are all settled, and the translator begins to convey her words in an undertone to them. "Mr. Matsumoto, Mr. Ninomiya, your application for the annulment of your divorce states that you were unaware of the legal nature of this ceremony. Is that true?"
"Yes," Jun responded, a bit annoyed by the way the translator repeated after him, even though he was speaking in English.
Nino agreed in Japanese, clearly deciding to let the translator have all of the fun.
The judge nods, and begins speaking to the translator, too quickly for Jun to understand.
"There has been some - " the translator seemed to struggle for the right word for a moment once the judge was finished speaking, "media coverage that claims that you sought a legal ceremony, which was spun off as a joke to avoid negative press. I understand that gay marriage is not legal in Japan." Her smile was sympathetic, and it took her next words for Jun to figure out where this was headed. "As public figures, it's understandable to want to maintain your reputation. However, it is unacceptable to play with something as solemn and sacred as the legal institution of marriage."
"They most certainly did not - " their manager began hotly, but Katsushima silenced him with a hand on his arm, and gestured towards Jun and Nino.
"You need to state your intent," he said simply.
This would be the moment, Jun realized - if this were a drama or a movie. His eyes would meet Nino's, and he would stand up and deliver a dramatic speech about how he felt, and then they would walk out of the room hand in hand. There was nothing left but their own words.
However, as much as he felt about Nino - whatever those uncertain, fledgling feelings were - he did not want to be married to him.
"We didn't know," he said, "We played rock-paper-scissors - to decide. It was supposed to be fake. Maybe it wasn't very respectful, but - it wasn't real. I don't want to be married to him," he added empathetically, in case he wasn't making himself clear enough.
There was a pause for translation, and the judge appeared to be suppressing laughter when she looked to Nino. "Mr. Ninomiya?"
"I didn't mean to marry him, your honour." Nino said cheekily, and Jun mentally thanked the miracles of translation that will iron out the flippancy of that statement before it is conveyed to the judge.
The judge nodded, and shuffled through the papers in front of her. "In that case, I am willing to consider your application for the annulment of your marriage." She glanced over her glasses at them. "I will file an order immediately. In the eyes of the Province of Ontario, your marriage is officially null and void."
Their manager let out a relieved sigh. Katsushima shook the judge's hand, and Nino met Jun's eyes. "Good work," he mouthed, and Jun smiled, repeating it back.
At least they didn't have to kiss for the cameras this time.
+
It was a long ride to the airport for an even longer flight, and Jun wasn't stupid enough to mistake the look in Nino's eyes when he purposefully excused himself to the bathroom before they left the court house.
Nino was already waiting in a stall, and the look he gave Jun when he walks him made Jun want to shove him against the wall and take him right there. It was a near thing.
"Divorce is a stressful thing," Nino said solemnly, as Jun shut the stall door behind himself, locking them in.
Jun laughed, backing Nino up against the wall and working on Nino's belt. "Sorry we couldn't work things out." He leant down to catch Nino's earlobe in his teeth, enjoying Nino's surprised hiss.
"Well, we can always consider a private settlement," Nino said, roughly palming Jun's dick through his pants.
Jun used one hand to pin Nino against the wall, resting two fingers against Nino's bottom lip. "Suck," he ordered.
Nino opened his mouth and licked at Jun's finger, sucking it in slowly, teeth scraping against the skin. Jun groaned, trying to focus on getting Nino's belt off with one hand.
Nino's hands covered his, and in a second, his pants were pooled around his ankles. Jun cupped the hot weight of Nino's balls in his hand, enjoying the flash of heat in Nino's eyes. He took his fingers out of Nino's mouth, shivering as Nino nipped at his fingertips.
He let his hands skim over the curve of Nino's back, down the waistband of his underwear.
"Jun," Nino said, almost a whine. His head was buried in Jun's neck, and Jun felt a fluttering kiss under his ear. He moved his hand down further, hooking his spit-slick finger and pushing it inside Nino - not deep, just teasing at the entrance.
Nino was all tight muscle, clenching in surprise around his finger. He massaged Nino's entrance in slow circles that had Nino rocking his hips into Jun, shamelessly hooking one leg around Jun's waist so that Jun's finger slid in deeper.
"I want to fuck you." Jun's voice sounded strained and rough to his own ears - he had little control left, and this - it was not enough. He wanted to be inside Nino, buried deep and hot. He wanted to see Nino lose control and clutch at him - god, he wanted it all, and this was not the time or place.
Nino lifted his head, leaning back against the wall, and his eyes were wide and dark, Jun couldn't resist sucking at Nino's bottom lip, and Nino answered with a kiss that is unexpectedly soft, reaching a hand up to cup Jun's face.
Their breathing was ragged when they separated, but Nino held Jun's gaze.
"Later," Nino promised, pushing back against Jun's finger inside him, his hands gripping onto Jun's arms like a lifeline. "Properly."
Jun kissed him again, concentrating on their mouths moving against each other, the soft noises as their lips meet and part. "My place," he muttered against Nino's lips. "You've never been there, right?"
Nino slipped his hand into Jun's hair, bringing Jun down to him so their foreheads bumped gently. "I get the feeling I'm going to be over a bit more," he said, his voice rough. "Now that we can live in sin again, and all."
"I knew I should have signed a pre-nup," Jun said resignedly, dragging Nino in for another kiss.
+
ARASHI NI SHIYAGARE | 16 APRIL 2016
[enter on cue]
Sakurai: Please welcome tonight's guest, Ohiru Tezuka-san!
[applause]
Sakurai: Ohiru-san, you've become incredibly popular lately.
Ohiru: Ah…thank you. It wasn't really my intention to come into the spotlight quite so much.
Sakurai: No, no, it's quite incredible.
Aiba: By the way, which Arashi member is your type?
Sakurai: Now?!?! You want to talk about that now?
Aiba: I'm curious.
Ohiru: Ah, that's quite embarrassing. What should I do?
Aiba: Stop smiling like that, Nino. It's creepy.
Ninomiya: I'm just trying to look appealing.
Ohiru: When I was young - I had a poster of Ohno-san in my bedroom.
All: Ohhhhhh!
Ohno: Really?
Ohiru: Really. Well, this was when I wanted to be a dancer. I thought Ohno-san was really cool.
Ohno: Ohh~ thank you - what do you mean, "was"?
[laughter]
Sakurai: So, tonight, Ohiru-san - it seems like you've brought some souvenirs for us.
Ohiru: Yes - I brought some coffee. I love coffee, and there are many different flavours -
Matsumoto: This sounds like a commercial.
Ninomiya: [sings] Hotto hotto, yu~kkuri susuru…
Ohiru: [laughs] Thank you. Now - I brought different flavours for everyone. Sakurai-san is toffee flavoured…
Sakurai: Woah, this smells really good! Can I try some?
Ohiru: Go ahead, please. Ohno-san is Grand Marnier - and Ninomiya-san is Irish Cream.
Ohno: Ohhh. Is that a type with liquor?
Ohiru: Well, just the flavor. They're complicated tastes, so I don't know if you'll like them. For Matsumoto-san -
Matsumoto: I really love coffee.
Ohiru: I'd heard so. For you, I brought a dark roast. It's not flavoured, but it's very bitter and strong. I'd recommend it.
Ninomiya: You know, when we were in Canada, he was barely human until he had gotten his coffee.
Matsumoto: Shut up.
Ohiru: And for Aiba-san - French Vanilla.
Aiba: Oh! It smells sweet.
Ohiru: My mother loves it. I thought Aiba suited a sweeter taste.
Aiba: Thanks! Er - ah -
Aiba: Are you sure that doesn't mean I'm your type?
Matsumoto: [hits him]